1
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,776
- None of that ever happened.
- Ever.

2
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,011
God, dude,
this campus is awesome!

3
00:02:57,178 --> 00:03:00,265
This is friggin' awesome.
Are you looking at this shit?

4
00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:01,975
This is beautiful.

5
00:03:02,141 --> 00:03:03,142
Do you go to school here?

6
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:05,436
No, I don't go to school here.
I'm too dumb.

7
00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,772
But my best friend
from high school goes here.

8
00:03:07,939 --> 00:03:11,025
Yeah, it's his 21st birthday and me
and my friend are going to surprise him.

9
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,903
Foaming.

10
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:16,865
- Wait, is that a beer?
- What? No. What are you talking about?

11
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:19,492
Honestly, man, I'm just so
psyched to see my friends, man.

12
00:03:19,659 --> 00:03:21,286
You know what I'm saying?
Here's the train station.

13
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:22,453
Yeah, dude,
that's him on the corner.

14
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,163
Yeah, can you just honk
your horn a little bit?

15
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,499
Yeah, thanks, man.

16
00:03:26,666 --> 00:03:29,252
Hey, you fucking Jew,
get in the cab!

17
00:03:29,419 --> 00:03:32,338
Dude, he is
such a fucking tool. What is he wearing?

18
00:03:32,505 --> 00:03:35,466
I love him, but, like, he does dress
like a fucking tool.

19
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:38,011
- Miller! What's up, man?
- Yo, what's up?

20
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:39,804
- Come on, bring it in, baby.
- How you doing?

21
00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:41,723
- Dude, how you fucking doing, dude?
- Good.

22
00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:43,641
- You look fat.
- What?

23
00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:44,976
- Yeah.
- I mean, I've had midterms.

24
00:03:45,143 --> 00:03:46,436
- I've been stress eating a little bit.
- A little bit?

25
00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:48,271
- A little bit.
- Dude, stop talking about your weight.

26
00:03:48,438 --> 00:03:50,148
- How's Stanford? Good?
- Stanford's great. Honestly.

27
00:03:50,315 --> 00:03:51,858
Actually, yeah,
how's Hakakiqua State?

28
00:03:52,025 --> 00:03:54,652
- It's good, dude, I'm killing it. Yeah.
- Yeah? Kill it! Good.

29
00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:57,572
Dude, how's your family?
And your sister?

30
00:03:57,739 --> 00:03:59,490
- How's your sister?
- My sister? Why are you...?

31
00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,951
What? No reason.
I'm just checking in.

32
00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:03,870
You don't have to check in.
She's my sister.

33
00:04:04,037 --> 00:04:05,580
She's 16 years old now.

34
00:04:05,747 --> 00:04:08,875
OK, yeah, she's 16,
but in real life she's, like, 18.

35
00:04:09,042 --> 00:04:11,002
No, in real life she's 16.
That's the whole thing.

36
00:04:11,044 --> 00:04:13,004
And her Facebook photos
are fucking awesome.

37
00:04:13,171 --> 00:04:15,173
Is that Cancun, where does she...?

38
00:04:16,174 --> 00:04:18,843
You know, there's always this moment
right before I see you, where I'm like,

39
00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:20,720
"Why haven't I seen Miller
in so long? It's ridiculous.

40
00:04:20,887 --> 00:04:24,182
We should keep in better touch."
And then I see you and I'm like,

41
00:04:24,349 --> 00:04:26,935
"Oh, yeah, that's right,
he's a fucking idiot."

42
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,312
I'm just kidding, man, come on.

43
00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:30,959
What if I said that
about your sister?

44
00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:33,024
What if I was like, "I wanna fuck
Danielle." What would you say?

45
00:04:33,191 --> 00:04:36,069
Dude, honestly, I would love
for you to fuck my sister.

46
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,695
- Really? Why?
- Yeah.

47
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,530
It would seriously be
an honor to my entire family

48
00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:41,449
- if you fucked my sister.
- What?

49
00:04:41,616 --> 00:04:43,910
I'll bet you five bucks that I fuck
your sister before you fuck my sister.

50
00:04:44,077 --> 00:04:47,080
I bet you five bucks that I fuck
my sister before you fuck my sister.

51
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:49,666
I'll give you five bucks
if you fuck your sister.

52
00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:52,418
OK, can we cool it
with the sister fucking?

53
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,546
This is your friend's place, all right?
Get out.

54
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:58,841
Oh, great. This is awesome.

55
00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:01,302
- Jesus Christ, this place is quaint.
- Thank you.

56
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:04,889
- I don't know.
- Jesus! Who is that guy?

57
00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:08,559
He's kind of a good dancer.

58
00:05:11,521 --> 00:05:13,731
What's up, VisionQuest? Boom.

59
00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:16,901
Dude, if we're not as fucked up as
that guy in two hours, we have failed.

60
00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:18,788
I'd definitely wash
that hand if I were you.

61
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:20,460
Did you see the headdress?
He's The Chief.

62
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,728
No, he's a street person, dude.

63
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,704
Nice tie. You look like
Jason Gordon-Levitz.

64
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,915
It's actually
Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

65
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,834
I actually really like him
in 500 Days <i>of</i> Summer.

66
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,752
- He's actually a really good actor.
- He is a really good actor.

67
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:36,504
Had a nice little
transitional period, right?

68
00:05:36,671 --> 00:05:38,191
- <i>Third City from the Sun</i> or...
- Yeah.

69
00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:39,632
- Jeff Chang!
- Hey!

70
00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,467
Yeah! What's up, bud?

71
00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:43,720
Happy birthday,
you tiny yellow son of a bitch!

72
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,930
- Surprise, buddy!
- What are you guys doing here?

73
00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:48,099
I want you to call your lame
friends and cancel your plans

74
00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:51,227
because we're taking you out tonight
and melt your fucking face off!

75
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,813
- Yes. Yes, we are!
- No. Wait, no, no, wait!

76
00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:56,315
- Your face will be fine.
- Guys! Miller, I'm not...

77
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:57,442
- Yeah, dude.
- Yeah!

78
00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,861
- No, no, hey, guys.
- Man, nice place!

79
00:06:00,028 --> 00:06:01,738
- Guys, guys, guys, listen to me.
- What?

80
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,490
I really appreciate you coming
all the way down here, but...

81
00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:05,992
Do you have any weed?
I smoked all mine on the train.

82
00:06:06,159 --> 00:06:07,910
No, no. Seriously,
I can't go out tonight.

83
00:06:08,077 --> 00:06:10,872
OK? I have my biggest med school
interview, ever, tomorrow morning.

84
00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:12,915
Shit! We should've called.

85
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:16,836
Jeff Chang! You're 21 years old, man.
Your asshole dad isn't here anymore.

86
00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:19,255
- Gentlemen.
- Holy fuck, he is totally here.

87
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:22,550
Nice to see you again,
Dr. Chang. How's Cathy?

88
00:06:22,717 --> 00:06:25,720
I mean, Mrs. Chang?
I mean, Dr. Mrs. Chang? Fuck me.

89
00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:29,891
You still owe me $17.50
for that hole in my fence, Altman.

90
00:06:30,058 --> 00:06:32,101
Really? That was from,
like, eighth grade.

91
00:06:34,312 --> 00:06:37,565
I didn't know you still
associated with these... people.

92
00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:40,276
No, Dad, I swear,
I didn't know they were coming.

93
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:43,780
Your interview with Dr. Collins
is at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

94
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,114
I'll pick you up at seven.

95
00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:47,116
- Your suit is pressed?
- Yeah.

96
00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:50,578
I had to call in a lot of favors
to get you this interview.

97
00:06:50,745 --> 00:06:54,415
Be rested, be sharp,
do not embarrass me.

98
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,292
I won't.

99
00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:00,546
Dick wads.

100
00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:06,969
Look, it was so nice
of you guys to surprise me,

101
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:09,013
but, listen, I can't go out tonight, OK?

102
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,900
This is like my whole life
in one interview.

103
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:13,559
- Dude, I totally get it.
- That's funny 'cause I don't.

104
00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:15,561
- I don't totally get it.
- Could we go out tomorrow night?

105
00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:18,022
No, we cannot go out tomorrow night,
because I've got tickets to Soundgarden.

106
00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:19,857
You're a straight-A student, dude.
You can go out one night.

107
00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,192
He can't go out, dude.

108
00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:22,860
Casey, first of all,
you need to shut the fuck up.

109
00:07:23,027 --> 00:07:24,487
- And Jeff Chang, you need to sit down.
- No.

110
00:07:24,654 --> 00:07:28,366
Come on, just take a seat,
please, on your nice futon.

111
00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:30,774
Because you have the wrong
attitude right now, my friend.

112
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,995
Look, Jeff Chang,
this isn't just any birthday.

113
00:07:33,162 --> 00:07:34,789
OK? This is your 21st birthday.

114
00:07:34,956 --> 00:07:37,500
- Here we go.
- This is the day that you become a man.

115
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:40,878
This is the day that you get to tell
every bouncer who's ever carded you,

116
00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:44,632
"You know what? Sure, I get it. Yes, I
look like a nine-year-old Chinese girl."

117
00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:46,217
- What the fuck?
- "But guess what?"

118
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:48,386
Today is my 21st fucking birthday."

119
00:07:48,553 --> 00:07:50,847
So, step aside
and let the man come through.

120
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,849
Miller, I totally get it,
but I can't go out tonight.

121
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:55,393
It's actually not your fault.
It's your people's fault.

122
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,312
Your people haven't been in this
country for a very "rong" time.

123
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,691
- What? He's more American than you.
- My family built the rail roads.

124
00:08:01,858 --> 00:08:04,110
Yeah, but, well, you know
what I mean. Like, your people.

125
00:08:04,277 --> 00:08:06,737
- What? What?
- China. I don't know. Are you Chinese?

126
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,573
- Listen, the point is...
- I understand what you're saying,

127
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,116
- but I can't...
- In America,

128
00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:13,077
in the United States of America,
bald eagles and Budweiser,

129
00:08:13,244 --> 00:08:16,038
you go out and drink because
it's a sacred rite of passage.

130
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,915
- It's just like in Africa when...
- Oh, my God.

131
00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:19,709
If we were in Africa...
You are so lucky we're not in Africa.

132
00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:21,460
If we were in Africa, you would
have to leave the village

133
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:22,795
and not come back
till you killed a bear.

134
00:08:22,962 --> 00:08:24,088
None of that is true.

135
00:08:24,255 --> 00:08:26,340
- There's no bears in Africa? Really?
- No.

136
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,593
- You have to read a book.
- You're 21 years old.

137
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:32,263
This, as they say in Casey's
home country, is a bar mitzvah.

138
00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:34,671
- It's the American bar mitzvah.
- I was born in America.

139
00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:37,768
It's like... OK, it's like when an
Eskimo kills his first penguin, right?

140
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:40,656
- Nope, they definitely don't do that.
- Yes, they fucking do, Casey.

141
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:43,107
- I hate you.
- In this country, Jeff Chang,

142
00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:45,860
your best friends take you out
and they fuck you with alcohol.

143
00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:48,738
- I'm gonna fuck you with alcohol.
- Oh, my God.

144
00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:50,907
- Now who's with me?
- Nope.

145
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,825
Come on, fuckers!

146
00:08:52,992 --> 00:08:53,951
Whatever.

147
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,870
I'm fucking taking you out
whether you want to or not!

148
00:08:56,037 --> 00:08:57,663
I don't care if you're
scared of your fucking dad.

149
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,207
Dude, we're all scared
of his fucking dad.

150
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,375
I'm not! A little bit.

151
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,502
Also, if you do not
come out tonight,

152
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:06,109
I will stand outside your
bedroom window all night doing this.

153
00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:09,683
- OK, OK, OK, I'll go out!
- I can't hear you!

154
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,386
- This thing is super loud!
- I'll go out, just stop! Just stop!

155
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:15,056
That's what I'm saying.
That wasn't so hard.

156
00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:17,808
What kind of asshole brings
an air horn in his backpack?

157
00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:19,310
Honestly, it comes in handy
more than you'd think.

158
00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:22,063
- Just one beer. One beer.
- That's all I wanted.

159
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:23,439
- We'll take care of you.
- That's it, man.

160
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,006
Nothing's gonna happen to you.
You're my little baby tonight.

161
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:29,695
<i>♪ You may bury me with an enemy
in Mount Calvary!</i>

162
00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:33,824
<i>♪ You can stack me on a pyre
and soak me down with whiskey</i>

163
00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:35,534
<i>♪ Roast me to a blackened crisp</i>

164
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,286
<i>- Give me a shot!
- ♪ And throw me in a pyre!</i>

165
00:09:37,453 --> 00:09:40,665
<i>♪ I don't really give a shit
I'm going out in style! ♪</i>

166
00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:45,544
I'm gonna be 21 forever,
you motherfuckers!

167
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:52,551
- Dude! How you doing?
- I'm doing great, dude.

168
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,358
- Good to see you guys!
- What's up, dude?

169
00:09:54,512 --> 00:09:57,139
It's awesome to see you. Honestly,
'cause I miss you. I miss your hugs.

170
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,350
- Yeah. OK. OK.
- Give me a hug.

171
00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:03,271
Are you... are you...
Are you sure you're OK, man?

172
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,481
You're fine, like,
should we maybe get going?

173
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,441
No, Casey, look at me. I'm fine.

174
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:08,943
- I'm fine.
- You look fine.

175
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:10,319
- I'm fine.
- He's fine.

176
00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:12,363
- You know what this bar reminds me of?
- What?

177
00:10:12,530 --> 00:10:15,449
The night we won Rothenberg's
Beer Pong tournament, and Jeff Chang

178
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,827
hooked up with that nine-foot tall
chick who played the banjo.

179
00:10:17,994 --> 00:10:19,315
- Yeah, what was her name?
- Tara.

180
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:20,496
- Tara!
- Yeah, Tara!

181
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,039
She was gigantic.

182
00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:24,125
Man, high school was so awesome.

183
00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:26,133
Speaking of the banjo,
you still writing music?

184
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:29,463
Dude, I'm pre-med, man. I don't
write music. I don't listen to music.

185
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,507
I can't even remember
the last time I went to a show.

186
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:33,217
- Fuck, man.
- Yeah.

187
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:35,553
Hey, you're still in for Sidewinder
at The Gorge this summer, right?

188
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,389
- Hell, yeah! The Gorge!
- Right, OK! The Gorge!

189
00:10:38,556 --> 00:10:39,932
Casey, what about you, man?

190
00:10:40,099 --> 00:10:42,601
- The Gorge, Sidewinder.
- I don't know, man.

191
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:46,522
Aren't we too old to be doing
the whole music festival thing?

192
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,524
I don't know, Casey, are
we too old to have fun times?

193
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,359
- No.
- Are we too old to spend a week

194
00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:52,903
enjoying 250 bands play
the seminal music of our generation?

195
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,698
Are we too old to drop acid and make
love to white chicks in dreadlocks?

196
00:10:55,865 --> 00:10:57,865
- I don't like dreadlocks.
- Are we too old to take

197
00:10:57,867 --> 00:11:00,077
handfuls of Ecstasy and dance around
in fur... with other people in fur?

198
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,121
Yeah, we are too old
for all of those things.

199
00:11:02,288 --> 00:11:03,289
I don't like dreadlocks.

200
00:11:03,456 --> 00:11:05,976
But, guys, all I'm saying is
that we all graduate in May, right?

201
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:09,628
This could be the last summer all three
of us ever spend together. You know?

202
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:14,258
Right, but I have a job
lined up after graduation.

203
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:16,677
- What?
- You got a fucking job?

204
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:20,890
Yeah. I'm working for
Newbury Capital in New York.

205
00:11:21,057 --> 00:11:23,851
- Dude, congrats, that's a great firm!
- Thanks, Jeff Chang. See?

206
00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:26,395
Yeah, awesome. What about Sidewinder
at The Gorge, Casey?

207
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:28,105
I'll think about it, all right?
That's all I'm saying.

208
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:31,650
- Yeah. You're selfish. That's bullshit.
- Jeff! Jeff!

209
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:34,153
- Oh, Nicole!
- Holy shit, game on.

210
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,572
- Hey, how are you doing?
- Happy birthday!

211
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,824
Hey. Meet my oldest friends,
Miller, Casey.

212
00:11:38,991 --> 00:11:40,534
We used to tear shit up
in high school.

213
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,495
Casey.
Nice to meet you, Nicole.

214
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,413
That's quite a firm shake.

215
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,123
That's 'cause he masturbates a lot.

216
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,126
Oh, yeah? Me too. I can't get to sleep
without flicking the bean.

217
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:53,714
What? I guess we already
have a lot in common. That's great.

218
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,508
Yeah, I masturbate a lot, too.

219
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,134
- He does.
- Like a lot.

220
00:11:57,301 --> 00:12:00,096
At weird places too, like malls,

221
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,223
bathrooms, handicap stalls.
They're bigger.

222
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:04,150
Name some more spots
you jerk off in, Miller.

223
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:06,185
Sometimes I wear flannel.
Made me feel like a lumberjack.

224
00:12:06,352 --> 00:12:08,646
- What the fuck?
- I am so sorry for him.

225
00:12:08,813 --> 00:12:10,648
I don't even know you.
I feel terrible.

226
00:12:10,815 --> 00:12:12,900
What are you talking about? I feel like
she's picking up what I'm putting down.

227
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,151
Yeah, but then again,

228
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:17,029
- she's putting it down again.
- But then she picks it back up.

229
00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:19,198
I feel like she'd never
really pick it up twice.

230
00:12:19,365 --> 00:12:22,034
OK, look, I'm just gonna ask.
Who would you rather...?

231
00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:24,036
- Him.
- Oh, my God.

232
00:12:24,203 --> 00:12:26,122
- OK, it's over. It's over.
- Oh, my God.

233
00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:27,915
- This is embarrassing.
- That's fine, that's fine.

234
00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:29,917
Fuck you all, I'm gonna
go play some darts.

235
00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:32,336
Have a really boring life
with my boring friend Casey,

236
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:34,463
who played the flute in band.

237
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,757
OK, thanks, buddy. Enjoy.

238
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:39,135
Thank you for that. My God.

239
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:41,512
- Here, sit down.
- You're welcome. Thank you.

240
00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,348
So... So, that's your friend?

241
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,356
Yeah, we were best friends
back in high school,

242
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,269
but we're not really that close anymore.

243
00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:51,036
Yeah. Your oldest friends are always
your weirdest friends, right?

244
00:12:51,147 --> 00:12:53,441
- Yeah, what is that about?
- I don't know.

245
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,609
People change when
they go to college, right?

246
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,654
Like, I'm sure he wasn't that
big of an idiot back in high school.

247
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,470
No, actually, that's exactly
how big of an idiot he was, yeah.

248
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,910
- Hundred percent same amount of idiot.
- Really? OK.

249
00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:09,498
Yeah. So you're in,
Sigma... Zeta...

250
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:11,500
- ...circle with a line in it.
- Oh, OK.

251
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,252
- I get it, you're not in a frat?
- No.

252
00:13:13,419 --> 00:13:17,089
'Cause I'm not angry and secretly gay.

253
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:18,424
So, what are you drinking?

254
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,807
Oh, dude, I'm so glad you guys came.
I really needed this.

255
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,934
- My dad's been driving me crazy.
- Yeah man, we love you.

256
00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:31,896
- We wouldn't miss it for anything.
- Miller!

257
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,502
Honestly, I'm sorry Casey's
being such a little bitch, though.

258
00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,066
- He's not being a bitch.
- Dude, yeah, he is.

259
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,235
Honestly, I feel like he thinks that
he's too good for us and it's like,

260
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:39,570
"Bro, you're a nerd."

261
00:13:39,737 --> 00:13:41,405
He's not a nerd.
He's our friend.

262
00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:43,199
You're lucky to be hanging out
with us because we're awesome.

263
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,159
Dude, he's just trying to be happy.

264
00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:47,620
So, you leave for Brazil tomorrow?

265
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:51,582
Yes, and then Chile,
Ecuador and Argentina.

266
00:13:51,749 --> 00:13:53,542
What about you? What are
you doing for spring break?

267
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,212
I have a two week externship
at J.P. Morgan.

268
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,172
It's private equity stuff.
It's pretty cool.

269
00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:02,343
- You know? It's not that cool.
- Wait.

270
00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:07,139
So, on the last spring break
of your entire life, you're working?

271
00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:09,558
Yeah, why? Aren't we supposed
to be starting our lives?

272
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:12,186
- Did your mom tell you that?
- Yeah, my mom did tell me that.

273
00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:14,271
- She did?
- Yeah. Why you hating on my mama?

274
00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:17,066
No, it's just...
I mean, look around. OK?

275
00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:19,318
In ten years, everyone in this
bar will be married with kids,

276
00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:23,072
driving to some boring job
in a fucking minivan.

277
00:14:23,239 --> 00:14:26,242
I mean, we got to do as much
crazy shit as we can before then.

278
00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:29,078
No, yeah, exactly.
I totally agree.

279
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,831
We're not too big on crazy here,
are we?

280
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:36,168
What? No, I'm a huge
proponent of the crazy.

281
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,095
Are you kidding?
I'm the mayor of Crazyville.

282
00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:40,965
- Oh, my God, you're such a dork.
- No! Are you...?

283
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:45,427
What? Check it. Look, V-neck
sweater with an un-tucked shirt.

284
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,138
My shit is bananas, girl.

285
00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:51,559
I'm just saying, the point is, is that

286
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,852
he's changed and I can tell
that you're upset by it.

287
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,396
- I'm not upset. I'm not.
- Yeah, you are.

288
00:14:55,563 --> 00:14:57,690
OK, whatever, message received.
I'm gonna talk to him.

289
00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,400
- Dude, no.
- This can't go on. He's hurting you.

290
00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,443
- He's hurting both of us.
- You don't need to talk to him.

291
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:03,320
Holy shit, dude!

292
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:04,822
- Fuck me!
- That's awesome.

293
00:15:04,989 --> 00:15:06,323
It went all the way through.
I can see it.

294
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,867
Oh, my God. Hey, hey...
Oh, my God, I am so sorry, man.

295
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,953
- I'm so sorry.
- Problem, homeboy?

296
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,289
- No, no. Here, let me take a look.
- Get your hands off me!

297
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:14,915
I'm gonna be a medical student.
I'll just check...

298
00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,163
- Back off!
- Hey, hey, hey!

299
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,711
- Step Up, 3D. Take a step back.
- Miller, help me.

300
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,463
- You want to fight?
- Calm down. Nobody wants to dance, OK?

301
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:23,716
- It was an accident.
- Sorry, we won't touch you.

302
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,009
It was an accident.

303
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:29,513
Oh, well, guys, I guess
it was just an accident.

304
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,515
You know, my face
doesn't even hurt anymore,

305
00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:33,601
now that I know that
it's an accident.

306
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,353
I mean, accidents, they happen
all the time when you're drinking.

307
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,280
People get hit by things
like flying darts...

308
00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:40,024
- What's happening?
- ...and flying stools.

309
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,234
What are you doing with the bar stool?
What, you're gonna throw it at us?

310
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:44,820
Jesus Christ, man! Are you OK?

311
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,197
Now if I ever see
you fucking tampons again,

312
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,617
I will come at you like
a fucking spider monkey!

313
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,785
I'll rip your face off, bitch.

314
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,370
I think we should
get the fuck out of here.

315
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:55,456
- Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here.
- Let's get the fuck out of here.

316
00:15:55,623 --> 00:15:58,250
You seriously need to get laid.

317
00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:00,210
I know, what do you think
I'm trying to do right now?

318
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,880
- Oh, really, is that what this is?
- Yeah.

319
00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:05,341
Why, how am I doing? Is it not...

320
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:07,384
Do you have any, like,
notes or comments or anything?

321
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:08,510
We gotta go.

322
00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:10,137
What? No, I'm talking to Nicole.

323
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:11,555
That's a really great story.
We gotta go.

324
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:12,803
- Yeah.
- No, I'm not going.

325
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,171
We need to get out of this bar.

326
00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:25,033
OK, what could have
possibly went down in there

327
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,487
that you had to pull me away from her?

328
00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:29,365
What? Dude, that wasn't gonna happen.
She's a hard nine, you are a soft six.

329
00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,992
What the fuck, man?

330
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,411
- Shit.
- OK, where we going? Let's go.

331
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,914
No, man, it's eleven o'clock.
We're done.

332
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:39,041
OK. OK.

333
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,835
Oh, dude, there's like 20 bars nearby.
That's awesome. Let's do it.

334
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:45,923
No, we gotta get Jeff Chang home, man.
His dad is gonna fucking flip.

335
00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:48,842
What are you? A pussy?

336
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,844
- That's awesome.
- You fucking pussy!

337
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,346
How many fuckin' shots
did you give him in there?

338
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:54,598
Relax, OK? He drank us both
under the table in high school.

339
00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:56,767
- Yeah, I remember.
- Oh, shit, the Galway.

340
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,694
These fuckers have been
carding me for years.

341
00:16:58,769 --> 00:17:01,271
Jeff Chang! Car!

342
00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,607
- Fuckers!
- What the hell? Where is he going?

343
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:05,818
All right, dude, relax, one more bar
and then we'll go home. I promise.

344
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:09,279
- All right. She was cute, right?
- Yeah, she was cute.

345
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,031
- She's just not my type.
- What is your type?

346
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,616
Girls that wanna
have sex with me.

347
00:17:13,826 --> 00:17:15,536
- ID?
- On.

348
00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:18,664
You got ID or not, man? Just
come back when you hit puberty.

349
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:22,584
Twenty-one. Blackjack,
motherfucker!

350
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,044
- Whatever, just go the fuck inside.
- What?

351
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:26,505
- What? What?
- You're good, go in.

352
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:28,507
Where are the white women at?

353
00:18:25,314 --> 00:18:27,566
Drink, drink, drink, drink!

354
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:45,125
Yeah!

355
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,503
Take it off, yeah!

356
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,259
Oh, my God!

357
00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:01,558
Holy shit, dude! Stop pissing!
Stop pissing! Stop it!

358
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,018
What the hell are you doing?

359
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:07,064
I'll just talk to myself.
Awesome.

360
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:08,899
Man, this is ridiculous.

361
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,364
Miller, we have to get him home.

362
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:18,200
- Three waters, please.
- Dude, it's too late.

363
00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:51,692
- They're gonna need a new bull.
- This is not funny.

364
00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:53,902
Yeah, let's put him down.
He's really heavy.

365
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:55,487
Oh, my God.

366
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:57,948
Jeff Chang's dad is gonna
fucking honor kill him

367
00:19:58,115 --> 00:19:59,283
if we don't get him
to that interview.

368
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,077
Relax, he's gonna be fine, man.
Let's just get him home.

369
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:12,170
Yeah, so where are we?

370
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,717
How do I feel like
none of this looks familiar?

371
00:20:16,884 --> 00:20:18,135
Did we come from...?

372
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,638
Jeff Chang, where do you live?

373
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:26,602
- Home...
- Yeah, home, how do we get home, bud?

374
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:31,857
- Suck my shit.
- OK, hey, hey.

375
00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:34,785
Get you home, we can get you rested.
Just give us your address, buddy.

376
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,987
We'll get you a good night's sleep,
a nice cup of coffee.

377
00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:38,572
Dude, that's not gonna work.
You gotta shake him.

378
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:40,073
- What?
- Wake up, asshole!

379
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,880
- Tell us where you live.
- Didn't you...?

380
00:20:41,909 --> 00:20:44,786
I know that you're in there
and I know that you can hear me.

381
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:47,497
- Didn't you have his address?
- Yeah, I do...

382
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,207
It's back at his apartment, though.

383
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:50,626
All right, well,
maybe it's in his wallet?

384
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:54,254
Yeah, check his wallet.
He's really passed out, man.

385
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,965
No, that's his parents' address.
I know that one. Fuck!

386
00:20:57,674 --> 00:21:00,052
- Yeah, let's call his parents.
- Yeah, let's.

387
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:03,388
Let's call Dr. Chang, the scariest man
in the entire world, and be like,

388
00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,474
"Hey, what's going on,
Dr. Chang?"

389
00:21:05,641 --> 00:21:07,351
We took your son out,
got him shitfaced

390
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,561
"and totally ruined his future.
Oops. Sorry."

391
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:12,009
OK, look, Casey, we don't know
where Jeff Chang lives. OK?

392
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:13,690
We don't know anybody who knows
where Jeff Chang lives,

393
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,901
- so it seems like...
- Wait. Oh, my God. Nicole.

394
00:21:16,068 --> 00:21:17,235
Dude, stop thinking
with your penis.

395
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,988
No, no, no. Nicole,
she's friends with Jeff Chang.

396
00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:22,658
- She might know where he lives.
- OK, cool. Did you get her number?

397
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,660
- No.
- No, because you can't close.

398
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:26,620
No, because you pulled me away
from her before I fucking could.

399
00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:28,455
- You know that.
- You could never close.

400
00:21:28,622 --> 00:21:31,208
She was closeable. I would've closed.
Jeff Chang could've closed.

401
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:32,626
You know what?
Nicole lives in a sorority.

402
00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:35,504
If we could find her sorority house,
we could find her.

403
00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:38,423
OK, Casey, there's 40,000
people at this university.

404
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:41,051
There is no way that I'm gonna
go looking for one person,

405
00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:42,970
who may or may not
know where he lives.

406
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,973
That is dumb. No. No.

407
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:48,100
"No." No, never.

408
00:22:01,822 --> 00:22:02,906
Oh, hey, it's The Chief.

409
00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:05,617
Dude, what is The Chief doing
all the way over here?

410
00:22:05,784 --> 00:22:07,786
- I wish I was homeless.
- Oh, my God.

411
00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:11,039
Think about it, man, they got no stress.
They have no responsibilities.

412
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:12,958
What responsibilities
do you have?

413
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:15,252
Dude, I have a cat that
needs love and affection

414
00:22:15,419 --> 00:22:17,254
and I have to take her on walks.

415
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:21,091
- You don't take cats on walks.
- I take my cat on walks.

416
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:22,884
She has fat legs.

417
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:29,349
Dude, I really don't
want to fuck this up.

418
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,768
Jeff Chang has wanted to be
a doctor his whole life.

419
00:22:31,935 --> 00:22:33,103
Maybe he should've
thought about that

420
00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:34,312
before he went out drinking tonight.

421
00:22:34,479 --> 00:22:37,774
- Yeah, 'cause this is all his fault.
- What is that supposed to mean?

422
00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:39,985
You forced him to go out
and made him get drunk.

423
00:22:40,152 --> 00:22:42,272
Jeff Chang is a grown man
and he made his own choices.

424
00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:43,739
There was no air horn
involved anywhere?

425
00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:45,115
Nope.

426
00:22:45,282 --> 00:22:47,743
Great. Seems like you haven't
changed at all, that's nice.

427
00:22:47,909 --> 00:22:50,120
Yeah, well, you've changed
because in high school,

428
00:22:50,287 --> 00:22:51,788
- you were sorta cool, Casey.
- What is this jabbing my leg?

429
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:55,250
But now, you are not cool.
Now you're just super douchey.

430
00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:57,294
- What the fuck?
- Holy shit.

431
00:22:57,461 --> 00:22:59,781
- What is Jeff Chang doing with a gun?
- I don't know, man.

432
00:23:00,464 --> 00:23:01,757
Take him.

433
00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,968
- Dude, this is a real gun, man.
- I know.

434
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:07,804
I got it.
He's on the riflery team, right?

435
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,683
You think this guy's OK?
He didn't say anything to you, did he?

436
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:13,060
No one's trying
to hurt him or anything?

437
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:15,562
No. But we don't talk as much
as we used to. You know?

438
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:19,399
All right, let's just
keep going, I guess, right?

439
00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:22,086
I want to shoot something
if I have this fucking gun in my hand.

440
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:24,230
- Please don't. Please don't.
- Can I kill a squirrel?

441
00:23:24,362 --> 00:23:26,990
- Miller, put the fucking gun away.
- OK.

442
00:23:27,157 --> 00:23:29,534
- Let's go.
- I'll kill one later.

443
00:23:37,793 --> 00:23:41,338
- So, what sorority is Nicole in?
- Sigma Zeta something.

444
00:23:41,505 --> 00:23:43,215
Dude, her sorority letters
were written on her rack.

445
00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:44,633
How do you not remember them?

446
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,426
I was more interested
in what she had to say, dude.

447
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:47,886
Yeah, well, if you
had been a normal guy

448
00:23:48,053 --> 00:23:49,813
and stared at her tits,
we'd be home already.

449
00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:53,183
- Speaking of tits, how is your sister?
- Oh, my God.

450
00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:54,851
Sigma Zeta Theta,
could that be it?

451
00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:56,520
Yeah, that's actually right.

452
00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:59,606
Vaginas!

453
00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:01,274
Yeah, you wanna tell us
where you live, man?

454
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:02,859
Big vagina.

455
00:24:03,026 --> 00:24:06,196
OK. Let's just lock that away for
a few minutes and act normal, OK?

456
00:24:06,363 --> 00:24:09,491
- Oh, hello!
- Hello. How are you?

457
00:24:09,658 --> 00:24:11,243
- Hi.
- Hi.

458
00:24:12,202 --> 00:24:14,830
Awesome. Is Nicole in?

459
00:24:16,039 --> 00:24:17,374
Is this some sort of
pledge thing?

460
00:24:17,541 --> 00:24:20,502
- I want cereal. Count Chocula.
- Jeff Chang.

461
00:24:20,669 --> 00:24:22,337
- All right.
- You don't have to write.

462
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,047
The answer is...

463
00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:26,633
Oh, no, don't even worry about it.
Just tell Nicole to come downstairs.

464
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:27,968
Just tell her it's Casey.

465
00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:31,179
It's a funny story, actually.
She'll totally love this.

466
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:33,056
Fuck! Well, what are
we gonna do now, man?

467
00:24:33,223 --> 00:24:34,349
That was so weird.

468
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:35,809
Hold him.

469
00:24:37,769 --> 00:24:40,981
- What are you doing?
- Come on.

470
00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:43,233
- Don't leave me with the baby.
- Bring the baby. Come on.

471
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,402
- I can't... fuckin'...
- Let's go around the back.

472
00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:48,029
Motherfucker.

473
00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:52,159
Hey. Dude, no, we're not
breaking into a sorority.

474
00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:54,411
Don't be scared. They're just girls.

475
00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:57,706
Oh, jackpot. Yes.

476
00:24:57,873 --> 00:25:00,375
What? Do you have a better idea?

477
00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:04,254
- Come on.
- I fucking hate you.

478
00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,090
Watch his head. Watch his head.

479
00:25:07,257 --> 00:25:09,259
It's gonna be fine,
everything's gonna be fine.

480
00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:14,097
- Oh, Jesus. I'm sure he's fine.
- Great.

481
00:25:16,391 --> 00:25:17,934
Oh, God,
Jeff Chang, be careful.

482
00:25:21,271 --> 00:25:24,816
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Was Nicole Latina?

483
00:25:24,983 --> 00:25:26,234
She could be half-tina.

484
00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:29,571
I don't know, man.
She seemed pretty Nordic to me.

485
00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:33,950
Dude, Cameron Diaz is Latina. It's just
a meaningless ethnic signifier. Come on.

486
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:37,418
You know, sometimes,
you say the stupidest shit

487
00:25:37,454 --> 00:25:40,749
and other times it's like, Cameron Diaz,
Latina, I never even thought of that.

488
00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:43,335
Yeah, I really liked her in Shrek.

489
00:25:43,501 --> 00:25:45,337
Yeah, dude,
<i>Shrek</i> was fucking tight.

490
00:25:45,503 --> 00:25:48,840
I'm hungry!

491
00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:50,967
- I want waffles!
- Shit.

492
00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:53,470
- Go.
- I want waffles!

493
00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:56,556
He is way too loud.
We definitely can't bring him with us.

494
00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:58,003
Right, so, what are we gonna do?

495
00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:00,060
Well, we can't just
leave him here, man.

496
00:26:05,815 --> 00:26:08,335
Chill out with the rain dance.
I'm trying to tie you to the can.

497
00:26:09,778 --> 00:26:12,489
- Is this really the best idea?
- Probably not.

498
00:26:12,656 --> 00:26:15,659
- Let's hump and dump.
- That's not an expression, but OK.

499
00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:28,046
"Rosa. Maria"?

500
00:26:28,213 --> 00:26:31,299
"Incarnazion"?
Dude, something is wrong...

501
00:26:37,472 --> 00:26:39,182
Dude, what are you doing?

502
00:26:57,993 --> 00:26:58,994
Lupe?

503
00:27:00,287 --> 00:27:03,123
Honey, are you OK?

504
00:27:05,125 --> 00:27:07,794
Got a little cramp?
Need a tamp?

505
00:27:08,712 --> 00:27:09,963
Have you seen my bra?

506
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:11,691
- Go, go, go.
- Maybe it's in your room.

507
00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:13,508
Fuck, it's a dead end.

508
00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:14,884
Go, go, go!

509
00:27:21,224 --> 00:27:25,687
Pledge Gomez and Pledge Aguilar are
eager for our spanking, Pledge Mistress!

510
00:27:27,063 --> 00:27:28,898
Lupita, are you OK?

511
00:27:34,070 --> 00:27:37,407
Lupe.

512
00:27:38,033 --> 00:27:38,950
Lupe.

513
00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:40,869
Is something wrong,
Pledge Mistress?

514
00:27:41,036 --> 00:27:42,662
Why are we not being spanked?

515
00:27:44,414 --> 00:27:47,375
- Don't, don't, don't.
- We wait eagerly, Pledge Mistress.

516
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:52,172
Pledge Mistress, we are
deserving of this spanking.

517
00:27:52,339 --> 00:27:54,632
- Yes, they are.
- What are you doing?

518
00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:56,259
I'm gonna spank that ass.

519
00:27:56,426 --> 00:27:58,762
- No.
- I hear something.

520
00:27:58,928 --> 00:28:00,513
- Go check the door.
- We want to be spanked by you,

521
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,265
Pledge Mistress.

522
00:28:08,897 --> 00:28:11,149
I feel nothing. Again.

523
00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:14,152
Pledge Aguilar requests
a spanking of her own, Pledge Mistress.

524
00:28:23,912 --> 00:28:25,455
What the fuck?

525
00:28:30,210 --> 00:28:32,045
- Fucking...
- I love sorority chicks.

526
00:28:34,547 --> 00:28:36,508
Pledge Mistress,
is there a man in the room?

527
00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,012
Well, say something.

528
00:28:41,179 --> 00:28:44,849
That's right, pledges.
This is a new part of your initiation.

529
00:28:45,016 --> 00:28:47,727
- Really, because that's not...
- Yeah, I don't know about that...

530
00:28:47,894 --> 00:28:49,771
Girls, this is
what the Pledge Mistress said.

531
00:28:49,938 --> 00:28:51,564
Guys, do you want me
to have to call Pledge Mistress?

532
00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:53,775
- No, no.
- I don't want to call Pledge Mistress.

533
00:28:53,942 --> 00:28:55,819
You know how she gets this time
of night, but I will wake her up

534
00:28:55,985 --> 00:28:57,529
and tell her you're
being disobedient pledges.

535
00:28:57,695 --> 00:28:59,823
- We're sorry.
- Yeah.

536
00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:03,201
- That's better.
- What's our new assignment?

537
00:29:03,368 --> 00:29:05,370
Find Nicole. Find Nicole.

538
00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:07,414
- Your new assignment...
- Find Nicole.

539
00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:09,582
- ...Is to start making out.
- What?

540
00:29:22,554 --> 00:29:23,805
Candy.

541
00:29:24,848 --> 00:29:26,683
I'm hungry-

542
00:29:35,567 --> 00:29:37,235
Who the fuck is this?

543
00:30:14,522 --> 00:30:15,899
Candy bar.

544
00:30:17,108 --> 00:30:18,526
This is so wrong.

545
00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:25,158
Relax, all the kids go les nowadays.
Isn't that right, Becca?

546
00:30:25,325 --> 00:30:28,912
Yeah, totally, but how is this
part of our sorority training again?

547
00:30:30,121 --> 00:30:32,832
I have no idea, but I love you.

548
00:30:33,708 --> 00:30:36,044
I want to make beautiful lesbian
babies with both of you.

549
00:30:36,211 --> 00:30:37,504
Look, do either of you guys...

550
00:30:37,670 --> 00:30:39,310
- God, they're really going at it.
- Yeah.

551
00:30:39,339 --> 00:30:41,591
Do either of you guys know
which room Nicole is in?

552
00:30:41,758 --> 00:30:44,135
Nicole? There's no Nicole
in this sorority.

553
00:30:44,302 --> 00:30:46,179
- What?
- She's not here.

554
00:30:46,346 --> 00:30:48,598
Dude... we're in the wrong sorority.

555
00:30:48,765 --> 00:30:51,309
No, dude, we're
in the right sorority.

556
00:30:56,814 --> 00:30:58,358
Eyes!

557
00:30:58,525 --> 00:30:59,776
Throat!

558
00:30:59,943 --> 00:31:01,986
Groin!

559
00:31:02,153 --> 00:31:04,322
All right, we do have
to get going soon.

560
00:31:04,489 --> 00:31:05,949
Yeah. No, we'll get going.

561
00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:08,576
Becca? Hey, sorry.

562
00:31:08,743 --> 00:31:11,343
- Will you grab her boobie a little bit?
- Come on, man, that's...

563
00:31:11,454 --> 00:31:15,833
Intruder in the house! Intruder!

564
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,877
I'm so sorry.

565
00:31:18,044 --> 00:31:20,255
- Go, go!
- Go, go, go!

566
00:31:20,421 --> 00:31:22,131
Hey, get your ass back here!

567
00:31:25,468 --> 00:31:27,069
- Jeff Chang!
- Jeff Chang, we're coming!

568
00:31:28,888 --> 00:31:29,889
What the hell?

569
00:31:30,974 --> 00:31:32,058
Hey!

570
00:31:33,768 --> 00:31:35,228
We're gonna kick your ass!

571
00:31:35,395 --> 00:31:38,106
Ladies, please,
can we just talk about this?

572
00:31:38,273 --> 00:31:40,024
- Holy shit!
- Oh, window!

573
00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:42,819
Go, 90, 99, 99!

574
00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:46,114
- We're gonna fuck you up!
- Motherfuckers!

575
00:31:48,783 --> 00:31:50,118
How we gonna get him down?

576
00:31:53,246 --> 00:31:55,039
- We're gonna throw him off.
- What? No.

577
00:31:55,206 --> 00:31:57,500
Trust me. A pool cover's like a giant
pillow. I've done this a thousand times.

578
00:31:57,667 --> 00:32:00,753
- You have?
- We're gonna beat your ass!

579
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,756
- OK, on three.
- Oh, my God, look.

580
00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:05,049
That's Nicole's sorority.

581
00:32:05,216 --> 00:32:06,718
- Oh, cool. OK.
- All right.

582
00:32:07,719 --> 00:32:10,054
One... two...

583
00:32:10,221 --> 00:32:12,098
- Fuck.
- ...three!

584
00:32:17,061 --> 00:32:18,062
Oh, my God.

585
00:32:21,065 --> 00:32:22,400
Did we just kill Jeff Chang?

586
00:32:25,528 --> 00:32:26,529
Jump!

587
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:32,827
Oh, my God!
Dude, they're everywhere!

588
00:32:32,994 --> 00:32:34,996
Jeff Chang is
covered in rose thorns.

589
00:32:35,163 --> 00:32:36,803
- Open the fucking door!
- Can I help you?

590
00:32:36,956 --> 00:32:39,751
- Oh, my God, thank God you're white.
- Is Nicole here?

591
00:32:39,917 --> 00:32:41,711
- Yes, but... OK...
- Awesome.

592
00:32:41,878 --> 00:32:43,963
She doesn't want to see you.

593
00:32:44,672 --> 00:32:46,424
- OK, just be careful.
- Oh, my Lord.

594
00:32:46,591 --> 00:32:47,925
I'm looking at his asshole.

595
00:32:48,092 --> 00:32:50,219
So, whose idea was it
to throw Jeff off the roof?

596
00:32:50,386 --> 00:32:53,056
Casey. It was Casey's idea.

597
00:32:53,222 --> 00:32:55,808
I was all wrong about you.

598
00:32:55,975 --> 00:32:57,852
Had you pegged for
a real straight arrow.

599
00:32:58,019 --> 00:32:59,459
Oh, no, he is.
He went to space camp.

600
00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:01,230
- Thanks, man.
- Straight arrow.

601
00:33:01,397 --> 00:33:03,232
Yeah. I have a bit of a wild side.

602
00:33:03,399 --> 00:33:04,442
Oh, yeah?

603
00:33:04,609 --> 00:33:07,987
Sometimes after eating,
I jump right into the pool.

604
00:33:08,154 --> 00:33:10,698
- I don't even wait 20 minutes.
- You're a fucking renegade.

605
00:33:10,865 --> 00:33:11,991
- Yeah, you think so?
- Yeah.

606
00:33:12,158 --> 00:33:14,744
Sometimes at night...
I don't even wear my mouth guard.

607
00:33:14,911 --> 00:33:16,311
- Oh, my God.
- And I'm supposed to.

608
00:33:16,412 --> 00:33:17,997
That's recommended.

609
00:33:18,164 --> 00:33:19,666
- You're funny.
- Thanks.

610
00:33:19,832 --> 00:33:21,584
- I think you're funny too.
- Thank you.

611
00:33:21,751 --> 00:33:23,836
What the fuck are you guys doing?
OK, look, I go to the window

612
00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:25,421
to check out for our safety,
and I come back,

613
00:33:25,588 --> 00:33:28,466
it's all bananas in pajamas.
Let's get serious.

614
00:33:28,633 --> 00:33:31,719
- Do you know where Jeff Chang lives?
- I don't, I'm sorry.

615
00:33:31,886 --> 00:33:33,566
Do you know
any of his friends or anything?

616
00:33:33,638 --> 00:33:35,723
I met Jeff in my remedial
science study group,

617
00:33:35,890 --> 00:33:37,767
but he didn't really talk
to anyone else so...

618
00:33:37,934 --> 00:33:40,311
There we go, back at square one.
Not a single clue.

619
00:33:40,478 --> 00:33:43,272
Wait, your remedial
science group?

620
00:33:43,439 --> 00:33:45,600
Yeah, I'm a Bio major.
I tutor kids who are struggling.

621
00:33:45,692 --> 00:33:47,026
OK, no, Jeff Chang is Asian.

622
00:33:47,193 --> 00:33:49,320
- There's no remedial in that language.
- Yeah.

623
00:33:49,487 --> 00:33:52,240
Nicole, Jeff Chang
invented science, OK?

624
00:33:52,407 --> 00:33:54,409
Actually, he's failing
out of school.

625
00:33:56,536 --> 00:33:59,956
- This Jeff Chang, right here?
- Yeah. This Jeff Chang.

626
00:34:00,123 --> 00:34:01,207
You guys didn't know that?

627
00:34:01,374 --> 00:34:02,875
- No. No.
- What?

628
00:34:03,042 --> 00:34:06,212
What is going on with Jeff Chang?
First the gun and now this?

629
00:34:06,379 --> 00:34:07,899
Why wouldn't he tell us
he was failing?

630
00:34:07,964 --> 00:34:10,004
I don't know. Maybe he was
embarrassed or something.

631
00:34:10,049 --> 00:34:12,343
We're his best friends. You tell
your best friends stuff like that.

632
00:34:12,510 --> 00:34:13,886
Maybe we're not friends
like that anymore.

633
00:34:14,053 --> 00:34:16,889
What? OK, we're
in the middle of a crisis here.

634
00:34:17,056 --> 00:34:18,975
You're just gonna drop that
kind of shit on me right now?

635
00:34:19,142 --> 00:34:21,477
Listen, Nicole, is there
like a campus address book,

636
00:34:21,644 --> 00:34:24,188
or do you know anyone that
might know where he lives?

637
00:34:24,355 --> 00:34:26,399
No. Oh, wait,

638
00:34:26,566 --> 00:34:28,486
- Randy might know where Jeff lives.
- Oh, great.

639
00:34:28,568 --> 00:34:31,154
He's the campus pep leader.
He has every student's address

640
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,121
in his phone for sending out
flyers and stuff.

641
00:34:33,281 --> 00:34:35,450
- So Randy is a cheerleader?
- Yell leader.

642
00:34:35,616 --> 00:34:37,256
- Oh, yell leader.
- Completely different.

643
00:34:37,326 --> 00:34:39,912
- Yeah, I didn't realize, OK.
- Straight to voice-mail.

644
00:34:40,079 --> 00:34:41,372
He's at the pep rally.

645
00:34:41,539 --> 00:34:43,082
You know what? I'm going to
a party on that side of campus,

646
00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:45,042
- I can take you guys over there.
- Great!

647
00:34:45,209 --> 00:34:46,669
OK, look, no, guys.
We can't just run out of here.

648
00:34:46,836 --> 00:34:48,296
We're surrounded by
Latins right now.

649
00:34:48,463 --> 00:34:49,964
They're coming in hot.
They're frickin' everywhere.

650
00:34:50,131 --> 00:34:52,508
- No worries. I have a car.
- She has a car!

651
00:34:52,675 --> 00:34:55,052
Nice. A little bit of a road trip?
We're on a mission.

652
00:34:55,219 --> 00:34:58,222
- OK, there she is.
- Go that way!

653
00:34:58,389 --> 00:35:00,433
Oh, fuck, what is that?
It looks like a toy.

654
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,685
- Look over here!
- It's fine, it's a car.

655
00:35:02,852 --> 00:35:03,853
- We're coming.
- Dude, there's no way.

656
00:35:04,020 --> 00:35:05,354
There's Hispanics everywhere.

657
00:35:05,521 --> 00:35:07,064
- Check the bushes.
- OK, we gotta go, come on!

658
00:35:07,231 --> 00:35:09,692
No, no. This is stupid.
We're not gonna fit in that thing.

659
00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:12,195
- We'll be fine.
- I've taken shits bigger than that.

660
00:35:12,361 --> 00:35:14,363
I cannot believe you're jeopardizing
our mission for some girl.

661
00:35:14,530 --> 00:35:16,282
- Why? You think she likes me?
- No, you're a fucking nerd.

662
00:35:16,449 --> 00:35:18,075
That's what I was saying. It's like,

663
00:35:18,242 --> 00:35:19,911
I think she would date a guy
that rides a mountain bike...

664
00:35:20,077 --> 00:35:22,205
or like surfs in Costa Rica.

665
00:35:22,371 --> 00:35:24,373
Where do I fit in?

666
00:35:24,540 --> 00:35:26,751
- Fuck, this really isn't gonna work.
- I told you.

667
00:35:29,879 --> 00:35:32,715
There they are!

668
00:35:32,882 --> 00:35:34,884
Go, go, go!

669
00:35:40,807 --> 00:35:42,391
Get the fucking van.

670
00:35:58,407 --> 00:36:00,076
Is the pep rally
even still going on?

671
00:36:00,243 --> 00:36:02,161
Oh, yeah,
we've got State tomorrow.

672
00:36:02,328 --> 00:36:04,048
This campus is gonna
be going off all night.

673
00:36:04,163 --> 00:36:05,998
Oh, nice.

674
00:36:06,165 --> 00:36:07,917
Well, thanks for the ride.

675
00:36:08,084 --> 00:36:10,127
So, how are we gonna
find this Randy guy?

676
00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:12,839
Pep rally's right down that path.
Just look for the big truck.

677
00:36:13,005 --> 00:36:15,766
It's called the Spirit Mobile.
Randy should be around there somewhere.

678
00:36:15,883 --> 00:36:17,444
You sure you don't
want to come with us?

679
00:36:17,468 --> 00:36:20,388
I'd love to, but I'm already
super late to my party.

680
00:36:20,555 --> 00:36:22,598
And why is Randy gonna give us
Jeff Chang's address?

681
00:36:22,765 --> 00:36:23,975
Because he's my boyfriend.

682
00:36:24,767 --> 00:36:25,726
What?

683
00:36:25,893 --> 00:36:28,396
- Didn't I tell you that?
- No.

684
00:36:28,563 --> 00:36:30,481
- Yeah.
- Nicole, have a great night.

685
00:36:30,648 --> 00:36:33,568
- Thank you so much. You're a gem.
- OK, well, good luck.

686
00:36:33,734 --> 00:36:35,570
- OK.
- Great. Thank you.

687
00:36:35,736 --> 00:36:36,779
Bye.

688
00:36:39,282 --> 00:36:42,493
- Just don't.
- Casey, I'm not gonna say anything.

689
00:36:43,452 --> 00:36:45,037
Can't believe she has
a boyfriend, though, right?

690
00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:46,581
I thought she would have
said something earlier.

691
00:36:46,747 --> 00:36:50,376
It makes sense. That's why she wasn't,
you know, feeling me.

692
00:36:50,543 --> 00:36:52,128
But I'm not gonna say anything.
I won't say anything.

693
00:36:52,295 --> 00:36:55,295
I don't want to rub salt in your wound
'cause I could tell you're hurting...

694
00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:57,258
But I didn't know
she had a boyfriend.

695
00:36:57,425 --> 00:36:59,051
Let's just find this guy, OK?

696
00:36:59,218 --> 00:37:01,053
I bet he's huge, by the way.

697
00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:04,640
Probably super flexible.
The guy could probably blow himself.

698
00:37:04,807 --> 00:37:07,935
I'd blow myself,
but I have a long torso.

699
00:37:08,102 --> 00:37:09,862
But seriously,
does your sister ask about me?

700
00:37:11,939 --> 00:37:12,940
Check the alley!

701
00:37:13,107 --> 00:37:15,109
Let's find these motherfuckers!

702
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,990
What the hell's going on out here?

703
00:37:22,658 --> 00:37:25,578
Hey... have you seen these guys?

704
00:37:25,745 --> 00:37:26,996
I've been looking
for them all night.

705
00:37:27,163 --> 00:37:29,665
They were also carrying
a drunk Asian kid.

706
00:37:29,832 --> 00:37:32,877
I got you, you little turds.

707
00:37:51,646 --> 00:37:53,856
Hey, let's check over there
by the big truck.

708
00:37:55,858 --> 00:37:58,486
Look, cheerleaders!
Let's ask the cheerleaders.

709
00:37:58,653 --> 00:38:00,780
Excuse me! Excuse me!

710
00:38:00,947 --> 00:38:03,387
- Do you know where Randy is?
- He's behind the Spirit Mobile.

711
00:38:03,491 --> 00:38:04,617
Oh, thank you.

712
00:38:14,377 --> 00:38:16,796
Excuse me, hey, are you Randy?

713
00:38:18,089 --> 00:38:20,633
- Oh, no.
- What the fuck you doing here?

714
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,551
Who's this guy, Randy?

715
00:38:22,718 --> 00:38:24,720
These are the motherfuckers
that threw a dart at my face.

716
00:38:24,887 --> 00:38:27,139
- Break them down, Randy.
- Wait, this is the guy from the bar?

717
00:38:27,306 --> 00:38:28,140
Yeah.

718
00:38:28,307 --> 00:38:30,977
You got a lot of nerve
coming into my house.

719
00:38:31,143 --> 00:38:33,562
You are not cool enough
to call something your house.

720
00:38:33,729 --> 00:38:36,732
Plus, we're outside, so it doesn't
even make sense. There's no house.

721
00:38:36,899 --> 00:38:38,859
- It's a metaphor, bitch.
- Dude, dude.

722
00:38:39,026 --> 00:38:42,154
I'm sorry about my friend.
Look, we just talked to Nicole and...

723
00:38:42,321 --> 00:38:43,906
You talked to my girl?

724
00:38:44,073 --> 00:38:45,574
Yeah, I wouldn't
have gone that route.

725
00:38:45,741 --> 00:38:47,576
Yeah, listen, we're just trying
to get our friend home

726
00:38:47,743 --> 00:38:49,662
and she said you might have
his address in your phone?

727
00:38:49,829 --> 00:38:51,914
Nicole said that?

728
00:38:52,081 --> 00:38:53,916
- Lock him up, Randy.
- Sweep the leg, Randy.

729
00:38:54,083 --> 00:38:55,710
"Sweep the leg"?

730
00:38:55,876 --> 00:38:58,421
- Hurt his feelings, Randy.
- Crush his spirit, Randy.

731
00:38:58,587 --> 00:39:01,549
Well, I mean, I should
probably help them out, right?

732
00:39:03,384 --> 00:39:04,677
Here's my phone, motherfuckers.

733
00:39:05,803 --> 00:39:08,044
- Come and get it.
- Can we just be grown-ups about this?

734
00:39:08,097 --> 00:39:10,599
- OK, I'm done talking. What's up?
- Dude, what are you doing?

735
00:39:10,766 --> 00:39:12,446
- Oh, shit, Randy!
- He's got a gun, Randy!

736
00:39:12,518 --> 00:39:14,478
- I'm scared, Randy.
- Give me your fucking phone, Randy!

737
00:39:14,645 --> 00:39:17,606
- Put the fucking gun away, OK?
- No, dude, you know what? I know guns.

738
00:39:17,773 --> 00:39:19,775
- That shit ain't even real.
- Is this real?

739
00:39:23,821 --> 00:39:26,449
Yeah, baby, kick his ass, Randy!

740
00:39:26,615 --> 00:39:30,077
- Yeah, boy! Fuck him up!
- Yeah, beat his ass, Randy!

741
00:39:30,244 --> 00:39:31,871
Break a leg, baby!

742
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,588
Oh, shit, Randy.

743
00:39:40,755 --> 00:39:41,922
I got it, I got the phone.

744
00:39:43,007 --> 00:39:45,885
- Pussies!
- Where the hell are you going?

745
00:39:46,052 --> 00:39:49,221
- Hey!
- Get up, Randy. Let's get him, Randy!

746
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,643
Move, move, get out the way!
Watch it!

747
00:39:55,895 --> 00:39:56,937
Fuck!

748
00:40:03,778 --> 00:40:04,987
Fuck!

749
00:40:15,998 --> 00:40:18,125
There he is! I see him!

750
00:40:23,005 --> 00:40:24,173
Yeah, we got you now!

751
00:40:24,340 --> 00:40:25,382
You're cornered, dude!

752
00:40:25,549 --> 00:40:28,010
- We're gonna fuck up your face!
- Miller!

753
00:40:29,178 --> 00:40:30,387
Get in, get in, get in!

754
00:40:30,554 --> 00:40:32,181
Hey! I'm in, I'm in!
Go, go, go!

755
00:40:36,685 --> 00:40:39,605
Find 'em? All right, go.
Look for them. Come on, I want...

756
00:40:45,528 --> 00:40:48,447
That was so dumb. That was so dumb.

757
00:40:48,614 --> 00:40:51,454
This Randy guy's a massive douche,
but I actually really like his phone.

758
00:40:51,617 --> 00:40:53,702
Just tell me that Jeff Chang's
address is in there.

759
00:40:53,869 --> 00:40:56,372
OK, Jeffrey Reginald Chang.

760
00:40:56,539 --> 00:40:59,875
- Four-nineteen Oak Street, number two.
- Oh, thank God.

761
00:41:00,042 --> 00:41:04,547
And that is located... six blocks away.
And boom goes the dynamite.

762
00:41:04,713 --> 00:41:07,049
- Nice. Finally!
- Nice.

763
00:41:07,216 --> 00:41:09,093
Finally.
We're gonna get you home, buddy.

764
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,013
- I'm glad we didn't ruin his life.
- He's still breathing, right?

765
00:41:13,180 --> 00:41:14,515
Who cares? Go straight here.

766
00:41:14,682 --> 00:41:16,976
OK, so this is good.
We're gonna have him home by four.

767
00:41:17,143 --> 00:41:20,396
He'll be able to nap it out for
a few hours and be good to go by seven.

768
00:41:20,563 --> 00:41:22,231
His asshole father
will never know.

769
00:41:28,154 --> 00:41:32,992
Hello? Honey, I told you.

770
00:41:33,159 --> 00:41:36,620
I knocked on his door,
he didn't answer.

771
00:41:36,787 --> 00:41:38,467
I called his cell phone.
He didn't pick up.

772
00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:41,750
<i>- Oh, man, he's gonna pay for this.
- Why didn't you wake him up?</i>

773
00:41:41,917 --> 00:41:46,297
No, he's not asleep.
He's out here. I can feel it in my knee.

774
00:41:48,507 --> 00:41:50,593
So, what about that buffalo,
you think it's OK?

775
00:41:50,759 --> 00:41:52,344
- No, they're gonna kill it.
- Really?

776
00:41:52,511 --> 00:41:55,264
Buffalos only live for like
three years anyway, man.

777
00:41:55,431 --> 00:41:57,183
- Was that The Chief again?
- Yes, it is.

778
00:41:57,349 --> 00:41:59,393
Stay awesome, Chief!

779
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:00,603
Hey!

780
00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:21,248
Oh, my God. Oh, God!

781
00:42:21,415 --> 00:42:23,417
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

782
00:42:23,584 --> 00:42:25,252
- Awesome.
- You were right, man.

783
00:42:25,419 --> 00:42:26,253
Golf carts go down stairs.

784
00:42:26,420 --> 00:42:29,423
Holy shit, I fucking love college, man.
I don't know why I ever left.

785
00:42:30,299 --> 00:42:31,467
Wait, what?

786
00:42:31,967 --> 00:42:33,052
What?

787
00:42:34,094 --> 00:42:36,180
Did you drop out of college?

788
00:42:36,347 --> 00:42:39,642
It's me, man. You can tell me whatever
you want. I'm not gonna make a big deal.

789
00:42:39,808 --> 00:42:41,644
- OK, yeah, I dropped out of college.
- What?

790
00:42:41,810 --> 00:42:43,103
- Two years ago.
- Two...

791
00:42:43,270 --> 00:42:45,111
What have you been doing
for fucking two years?

792
00:42:45,272 --> 00:42:47,650
I work at a gas station, man.

793
00:42:47,816 --> 00:42:50,361
I get, you know, free snacks.
I get free smokes.

794
00:42:50,527 --> 00:42:52,571
Like, I hang out
with my boy Varaj... Varag.

795
00:42:52,738 --> 00:42:54,156
You have a boy "Varaj"?

796
00:42:54,323 --> 00:42:56,659
- Yeah, he's pretty...
- This is... Oh, my God.

797
00:42:56,825 --> 00:42:59,203
Dude, look, Casey, I don't know why
you're acting so surprised, man.

798
00:42:59,370 --> 00:43:01,288
Like, I'm not Jeff Chang,
I'm not you.

799
00:43:01,455 --> 00:43:03,415
I wasn't gonna do
awesome stuff with my life.

800
00:43:03,582 --> 00:43:07,086
- Like... this is what's up.
- OK. What a cop-out.

801
00:43:07,253 --> 00:43:10,172
You're one of the smartest
people I've ever met.

802
00:43:10,339 --> 00:43:12,007
Really?

803
00:43:12,174 --> 00:43:14,343
- Top 25. Whatever, man.
- Fuck you.

804
00:43:14,510 --> 00:43:17,221
- You aced your SAT's, right?
- Yeah.

805
00:43:17,388 --> 00:43:19,890
And remember Mary what's-her-name?
The hot born-again chick?

806
00:43:20,057 --> 00:43:21,100
No one could get near her,

807
00:43:21,267 --> 00:43:23,644
and then you stole third base
with her at the book fair.

808
00:43:23,811 --> 00:43:24,971
- She liked to read.
- I know.

809
00:43:24,979 --> 00:43:28,232
I don't know what you said to her,
but it must have been pretty smart.

810
00:43:28,399 --> 00:43:30,359
I told her I had leukemia.

811
00:43:31,527 --> 00:43:33,696
That's actually pretty dark.

812
00:43:33,862 --> 00:43:36,115
Whatever, man. The point is
you're really smart.

813
00:43:36,282 --> 00:43:38,909
- You're just lazy as fuck.
- Yeah.

814
00:43:39,076 --> 00:43:41,495
- I'm not bullshitting, man.
- I know, you're right.

815
00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:43,622
I just gotta get my shit
together, man.

816
00:43:43,789 --> 00:43:45,708
I just gotta get my shit together.

817
00:43:50,921 --> 00:43:52,047
I miss you, dude.

818
00:43:52,214 --> 00:43:55,592
We don't really get to talk
like this much anymore.

819
00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:00,472
Look, maybe I could take
a couple weeks off this summer

820
00:44:00,639 --> 00:44:02,766
and catch up with you guys
at the Sidewinder Festival.

821
00:44:02,933 --> 00:44:04,018
- Yeah?
- Yeah, man.

822
00:44:04,184 --> 00:44:06,270
- That's awesome, Casey!
- I miss you guys too.

823
00:44:06,437 --> 00:44:09,982
Dude, I'm gonna fuck so much unwashed
hippie ass it's gonna be embarrassing.

824
00:44:10,149 --> 00:44:11,942
- Right.
- I like the hippie chicks, man.

825
00:44:12,109 --> 00:44:13,235
They don't shave their legs.

826
00:44:13,402 --> 00:44:15,154
That means they have
a huge bush and you know me...

827
00:44:15,321 --> 00:44:17,823
- Yeah, you love bushes. Yeah.
- I like a good bush. Fuck.

828
00:44:17,990 --> 00:44:20,576
OK, Jeff Chang's apartment
is right up here on the left.

829
00:44:20,743 --> 00:44:23,287
Nice. We got you home, buddy.

830
00:44:23,454 --> 00:44:26,290
- This doesn't look right.
- What the shit is this?

831
00:44:34,923 --> 00:44:37,676
- You sure this is the right address?
- Yeah.

832
00:44:37,843 --> 00:44:39,928
Must be an old address.

833
00:44:40,929 --> 00:44:43,265
- Fuck.
- Fuck.

834
00:44:45,267 --> 00:44:46,907
All right, well, come on,
let's go inside.

835
00:44:46,935 --> 00:44:49,188
Maybe someone in his old room
knows where he lives now.

836
00:45:11,293 --> 00:45:12,294
Jesus.

837
00:45:14,004 --> 00:45:15,381
Look at this place, man.

838
00:45:15,547 --> 00:45:18,008
Yeah, these nerds
know how to party, bro!

839
00:45:18,175 --> 00:45:20,469
Oh, dude, Beer Pong?
We gotta play. We gotta play.

840
00:45:20,636 --> 00:45:22,956
Yeah, man. That would be great,
but we got some shit to do.

841
00:45:23,055 --> 00:45:24,556
Hey, your elbow's
over the table!

842
00:45:24,723 --> 00:45:26,475
- Shut up, you piece of shit!
- Hey, fuck you, man!

843
00:45:26,642 --> 00:45:28,522
- Watch your elbow, asshole!
- Thirty seconds...

844
00:45:28,644 --> 00:45:31,980
- I'm gonna kick that guy's ass!
- Dude, what is wrong with you?

845
00:45:38,028 --> 00:45:41,281
- Oh, my God. You are so cute.
- Hello. Oh, my God.

846
00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:44,201
Bang on my door one more fucking time
and I'll claw your fucking eyes out.

847
00:45:44,368 --> 00:45:45,661
What?

848
00:45:45,828 --> 00:45:47,704
OK... Do you know this guy?

849
00:45:47,871 --> 00:45:49,164
Why, because I'm Asian?

850
00:45:49,331 --> 00:45:51,458
We don't all know each other,
you racist mother...

851
00:45:51,625 --> 00:45:54,545
Wait, I do know this guy.
Yeah, he used to live here.

852
00:45:54,711 --> 00:45:56,755
Do you know where he lives now?

853
00:45:56,922 --> 00:45:59,258
No, I used to live across the hall
and he never talked to anyone.

854
00:45:59,425 --> 00:46:00,384
Of course he didn't.

855
00:46:00,551 --> 00:46:03,053
That's why I was shocked when the cops
came and arrested his bitch ass.

856
00:46:03,220 --> 00:46:04,388
Wait, what?

857
00:46:04,555 --> 00:46:06,348
What would the cops
possibly want with Jeff Chang?

858
00:46:06,515 --> 00:46:10,811
I don't fucking know, but he moved out
after that and I never saw him again.

859
00:46:10,978 --> 00:46:13,355
What is going on with Jeff Chang?

860
00:46:13,522 --> 00:46:15,190
Motherfucker took
my laundry detergent.

861
00:46:15,357 --> 00:46:18,694
He's packing heat, he's failing out
of school, and now he's a criminal?

862
00:46:18,861 --> 00:46:21,901
Maybe he's a Yakuza or something. This
chick is really fucking turning me on.

863
00:46:21,905 --> 00:46:24,408
Do you have a forwarding address
for Jeff Chang?

864
00:46:24,575 --> 00:46:27,995
Yeah, yeah, no, I do.
No, you fucking cock lickers.

865
00:46:28,162 --> 00:46:29,842
You could check with our RA.
He might know.

866
00:46:29,955 --> 00:46:33,417
- Your RA, where is your RA? Miller!
- What, the fuck...

867
00:46:33,584 --> 00:46:36,545
Top floor. His name is PJ Brill
and he's throwing this fucking party

868
00:46:36,712 --> 00:46:37,752
if you could believe that.

869
00:46:37,838 --> 00:46:39,798
- She has such a mouth on her.
- I believe it. I believe it.

870
00:46:39,965 --> 00:46:41,605
Yeah, and when you see
the beaver muncher,

871
00:46:41,633 --> 00:46:44,219
tell him to get all the titties
and butt-fuckers out of my foyer.

872
00:46:44,386 --> 00:46:46,555
I got fucking field hockey tomorrow.

873
00:46:50,225 --> 00:46:52,186
Here we go.

874
00:46:52,352 --> 00:46:54,646
- Where do you think you're going?
- We're going up.

875
00:46:54,813 --> 00:46:56,982
- No way. Tower of Power, dude.
- What?

876
00:46:57,149 --> 00:46:58,692
- What's the Tower of Power?
- Yeah.

877
00:46:58,859 --> 00:47:01,904
You gotta win the event on each
floor to move up a level. Hey.

878
00:47:02,070 --> 00:47:04,156
- You have to be kidding me.
- Nope.

879
00:47:04,323 --> 00:47:06,450
- OK, how many levels are there?
- There's eight.

880
00:47:06,617 --> 00:47:09,453
OK, we just need to talk
to this guy named PJ Brill?

881
00:47:09,620 --> 00:47:11,455
PJ Brill is Tower Master.

882
00:47:11,622 --> 00:47:14,500
You wanna talk to him,
you gotta get to the top level.

883
00:47:14,666 --> 00:47:16,502
How do big dumb animals
like you even get into college?

884
00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:19,963
Just 'cause I look like this...
doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

885
00:47:21,131 --> 00:47:23,258
Look, we just need
to get our friend home, OK?

886
00:47:23,425 --> 00:47:25,636
- Can you help us out? Please?
- Come on, man.

887
00:47:25,802 --> 00:47:26,970
Tower of Power, dude.

888
00:47:28,096 --> 00:47:29,848
- Tower of Power, dude?
- Tower of Power.

889
00:47:30,015 --> 00:47:31,455
What are we gonna
do with Jeff Chang?

890
00:47:33,519 --> 00:47:35,187
Oh, stoners.

891
00:47:37,147 --> 00:47:39,149
- Hey, what's up, dudes?
- What's going on?

892
00:47:39,316 --> 00:47:41,036
You guys mind watching
our friend for a bit?

893
00:47:41,193 --> 00:47:44,154
Sure, man. Killer.

894
00:47:44,321 --> 00:47:47,783
These guys look super high.
You sure this is a good idea?

895
00:47:47,950 --> 00:47:50,077
Relax, dude, these morons
aren't going anywhere.

896
00:47:50,244 --> 00:47:52,644
Now, come on! Let's show these
clown dicks how to pong, baby.

897
00:47:52,663 --> 00:47:54,289
- Fuck, yeah!
- Fuck, yeah!

898
00:48:16,270 --> 00:48:19,147
Ethnic Serbs.
These guys can pong.

899
00:48:19,314 --> 00:48:22,025
Fuck the Balkan states.
OK, bros, when we beat you,

900
00:48:22,192 --> 00:48:26,154
you can't rape us and steal our land,
OK? No rapey. No rapey.

901
00:48:27,656 --> 00:48:28,782
OK. Nice shot.

902
00:48:29,491 --> 00:48:30,367
Mazel tov.

903
00:48:34,371 --> 00:48:36,039
Fucking Serbs.

904
00:48:37,207 --> 00:48:38,292
Here we go.

905
00:48:39,209 --> 00:48:40,460
And we're back!

906
00:48:40,627 --> 00:48:41,795
Twinkle, twinkle, baby.
Twinkle, twinkle.

907
00:48:41,962 --> 00:48:42,963
- Good.
- Drink up, Serb.

908
00:48:43,130 --> 00:48:44,756
Know what that tastes like?
Freedom.

909
00:48:45,507 --> 00:48:46,758
Yeah!

910
00:48:46,925 --> 00:48:49,803
Hey, Ivan Drago, this one's
for you and your sweet jumpsuit.

911
00:48:49,970 --> 00:48:51,972
Sucka.

912
00:48:52,139 --> 00:48:53,819
Say something, bro.
You're freaking me out.

913
00:48:53,932 --> 00:48:56,351
This one's for Apollo Creed.
His spirit lives on.

914
00:48:57,686 --> 00:48:58,937
- Yeah!
- That's what I'm talking about!

915
00:48:59,104 --> 00:49:01,464
- That's what I'm talking about!
- Paper covers rock, bitch.

916
00:49:01,481 --> 00:49:04,901
- Rock covers your Russian ass!
- That's right... different cultures.

917
00:49:06,361 --> 00:49:07,529
Sky hook.

918
00:49:09,364 --> 00:49:10,407
That's unbelievable!

919
00:49:10,574 --> 00:49:13,493
- Last shot, last shot.
- Kiss it. Kiss it.

920
00:49:19,625 --> 00:49:20,584
Yeah!

921
00:49:20,751 --> 00:49:22,419
That's unbelievable!

922
00:49:22,586 --> 00:49:24,129
USA! USA!

923
00:49:24,296 --> 00:49:25,936
- Red, white and blue!
- Undefeated, baby!

924
00:49:26,048 --> 00:49:28,383
- Give me my beads, bitch!
- Sorry, he doesn't mean that.

925
00:49:28,550 --> 00:49:30,302
Tower of fucking Power!

926
00:49:30,469 --> 00:49:33,263
All day!

927
00:49:36,058 --> 00:49:39,227
That's right, baby!
You did it. You know you did it.

928
00:49:45,567 --> 00:49:47,319
Yes!

929
00:49:52,115 --> 00:49:54,451
- What's the name of the game?
- Thumper!

930
00:49:54,618 --> 00:49:57,829
- And why do we play?
- To get fucked up!

931
00:50:03,460 --> 00:50:04,294
Yeah!

932
00:50:10,300 --> 00:50:12,678
- Yeah!
- Give me my beads.

933
00:50:19,184 --> 00:50:20,864
That's what I'm talking about,
right there!

934
00:50:21,937 --> 00:50:23,271
Dude, what?

935
00:50:29,444 --> 00:50:32,656
Chug, chug, chug, chug!

936
00:50:38,620 --> 00:50:40,872
Almost there!
Holy shit! You can do this!

937
00:50:43,792 --> 00:50:44,960
No.

938
00:50:54,219 --> 00:50:56,471
- Suck and Blow!
- Fucking child's play.

939
00:50:56,638 --> 00:50:58,348
All right, last event,
get in line.

940
00:50:58,515 --> 00:51:01,309
I'm gonna go get in there.
Let's go, Suck and Blow party.

941
00:51:02,477 --> 00:51:03,645
Casey?

942
00:51:05,021 --> 00:51:06,064
Nicole?

943
00:51:06,231 --> 00:51:08,984
- So this was your party.
- Hey.

944
00:51:09,151 --> 00:51:11,194
- Did you get Jeff home OK?
- No, actually,

945
00:51:11,361 --> 00:51:13,405
we left him downstairs
with a couple random stoners.

946
00:51:13,572 --> 00:51:16,450
Wait, are you serious?

947
00:51:16,616 --> 00:51:18,827
Yeah, actually, now that I think
about it, it's kind of a horrible idea.

948
00:51:18,994 --> 00:51:20,154
I don't know why we did that.

949
00:51:26,001 --> 00:51:28,378
- Hey, Walsh.
- Yeah, bro?

950
00:51:28,545 --> 00:51:30,672
Hey, man, who's this dude?

951
00:51:35,761 --> 00:51:37,846
So, Randy didn't
have Jeff's address?

952
00:51:38,013 --> 00:51:40,932
Yeah, no, your boyfriend actually
turned out to be a bit of a dead end.

953
00:51:41,099 --> 00:51:42,309
Balls, I'm sorry.

954
00:51:42,476 --> 00:51:44,561
Can I ask you what
you see in that guy?

955
00:51:44,728 --> 00:51:46,396
- Is this you being jealous?
- No!

956
00:51:46,563 --> 00:51:47,856
- Is that what that is?
- I'm not jealous.

957
00:51:48,023 --> 00:51:49,691
- Yes, you are.
- Why am I jealous?

958
00:51:49,858 --> 00:51:54,279
Why, 'cause he's handsome
and has phenomenal school spirit?

959
00:51:54,446 --> 00:51:57,365
Randy is pretty crazy,
but he's also fun.

960
00:51:57,532 --> 00:51:59,534
And he's passionate
and I like that in a guy.

961
00:51:59,701 --> 00:52:02,913
Yeah, but he's passionate about
cheerleading and fighting people.

962
00:52:03,079 --> 00:52:05,248
It's like the two worst things
to be passionate about.

963
00:52:05,415 --> 00:52:08,460
OK, all right, what are you
passionate about, Casey?

964
00:52:12,130 --> 00:52:15,050
- I'm passionate about a lot of things.
- What NPR?

965
00:52:15,217 --> 00:52:19,387
Yeah, yeah, I actually like NPR a bit.
They have a nice little Morning Edition,

966
00:52:19,554 --> 00:52:21,274
sometimes I get some
cooking tips from them.

967
00:52:23,517 --> 00:52:24,726
- Cute ringtone.
- Sorry.

968
00:52:24,893 --> 00:52:26,394
I thought that
might have been him.

969
00:52:26,561 --> 00:52:30,357
He hasn't returned my texts all night.
I... hate it when he does this.

970
00:52:31,483 --> 00:52:33,735
Well, enough about Randy.

971
00:52:33,902 --> 00:52:35,463
Would you like
to Suck and Blow with me?

972
00:52:35,612 --> 00:52:37,739
I thought you'd never ask.

973
00:52:42,536 --> 00:52:45,038
Dude, does it look
like the bear's...

974
00:52:45,205 --> 00:52:49,584
- ...blowing him enough yet or what?
- It looks great, I believe it.

975
00:52:49,751 --> 00:52:54,756
What about the face...
Should I write, "Douchebag"?

976
00:52:54,923 --> 00:52:58,593
Or "Fucktard"?

977
00:53:05,183 --> 00:53:08,436
Very nice form.
Where did you learn to play?

978
00:53:08,603 --> 00:53:10,272
Hanover Lake every summer.

979
00:53:10,438 --> 00:53:12,358
No way, I used to spend
every winter break there.

980
00:53:12,524 --> 00:53:13,859
- No!
- I swear to God.

981
00:53:15,986 --> 00:53:18,426
The card needs to be a little
higher, Danielle. For next time.

982
00:53:18,488 --> 00:53:21,283
Yeah, people say that
it's like old and run down,

983
00:53:21,449 --> 00:53:23,410
but I think it's the most
beautiful place in the world.

984
00:53:23,577 --> 00:53:26,121
Yes! Well, except for that
creepy guy that sells pinecones.

985
00:53:26,288 --> 00:53:28,748
- Creepy Dan the Pinecone Man!
- Yes! Oh, my God!

986
00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,168
I can tell you don't like me,
but if you have a sister

987
00:53:32,335 --> 00:53:33,837
who looks like you...

988
00:53:35,088 --> 00:53:36,840
I can't believe that
you know Hanover Lake.

989
00:53:37,007 --> 00:53:38,800
It is literally
my favorite place on earth.

990
00:53:38,967 --> 00:53:41,511
It's like, all you need
to know about me.

991
00:53:41,678 --> 00:53:44,598
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

992
00:53:46,975 --> 00:53:49,415
Jesus Christ, we're playing
Suck and Blow, people. Game faces.

993
00:53:53,189 --> 00:53:55,817
Oh, God.
Randy's in the hospital.

994
00:53:55,984 --> 00:53:58,236
He got mauled
by a fucking buffalo.

995
00:53:58,403 --> 00:54:01,406
Some asshole stole his phone.
That's why he hasn't texted.

996
00:54:01,573 --> 00:54:05,160
- Oh, my God, I'm such a bitch.
- Do you want me to come with you?

997
00:54:05,327 --> 00:54:07,412
Probably not, right?

998
00:54:08,496 --> 00:54:09,623
All right, bye.

999
00:54:12,959 --> 00:54:14,169
Let her go, man.

1000
00:54:14,336 --> 00:54:16,504
Sometimes the heart
is a lonely hunter.

1001
00:54:18,173 --> 00:54:21,468
Do you want to cry?
I'll fucking cry for you.

1002
00:54:23,011 --> 00:54:24,763
Do you want to make out with me?

1003
00:54:24,930 --> 00:54:26,473
No? Kenny, you can come too.

1004
00:54:27,599 --> 00:54:29,100
You look like a watcher.

1005
00:54:36,524 --> 00:54:37,901
He's waking up, dude.

1006
00:54:38,068 --> 00:54:40,153
I can't just leave it.
It says "DOUCHEBA"...

1007
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:42,447
- No one's gonna get it.
- The public will understand.

1008
00:54:42,614 --> 00:54:44,741
- This is my art.
- Stop being such a diva.

1009
00:54:46,701 --> 00:54:49,037
Fuck, dude... we gotta go!

1010
00:54:52,791 --> 00:54:54,334
What the fuck?

1011
00:54:58,838 --> 00:55:01,132
Top floor, baby, top floor!

1012
00:55:03,718 --> 00:55:06,179
- What the hell is this?
- Holy shit.

1013
00:55:06,346 --> 00:55:08,473
- What is this place?
- OK, shit just got weird.

1014
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:11,226
Congratulations, players.

1015
00:55:11,393 --> 00:55:13,436
You've completed
the Tower of Power.

1016
00:55:13,603 --> 00:55:17,232
- You PJ Brill?
- Please, call me Tower Master.

1017
00:55:17,399 --> 00:55:18,900
These are my sweet bitches.

1018
00:55:19,067 --> 00:55:21,569
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- What's up, sweet bitches?

1019
00:55:21,736 --> 00:55:25,991
- Look, we're friends with Jeff Chang...
- Now, here is your reward.

1020
00:55:27,367 --> 00:55:29,869
Gold beads?
You gotta be kidding me, dude.

1021
00:55:30,036 --> 00:55:31,705
All right, are you fucking serious, man?

1022
00:55:31,871 --> 00:55:33,311
I want more than gold fucking beads.

1023
00:55:33,331 --> 00:55:35,375
Miller, it's not
about the beads, man.

1024
00:55:35,542 --> 00:55:37,335
They gave me 50 bucks
for this whole party, all right?

1025
00:55:37,502 --> 00:55:39,879
Fifty bucks!
The chair, it was 40! All right?

1026
00:55:40,046 --> 00:55:41,881
These chicks, I'm paying them
five bucks each tonight.

1027
00:55:42,048 --> 00:55:43,568
So maybe you guys
could cut me a break.

1028
00:55:43,591 --> 00:55:45,593
Maybe he can cut us a break
'cause I just chugged a gallon of milk.

1029
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,054
Went through your little rat race.
I'm all excited, get to the top floor

1030
00:55:48,221 --> 00:55:49,582
and look what I got, look at this.

1031
00:55:49,639 --> 00:55:51,683
I have a baby wizard Elvis
with gold beads.

1032
00:55:51,850 --> 00:55:54,185
I'm sorry you got free booze
and free milk. Shit!

1033
00:55:54,352 --> 00:55:56,855
My fault, buddy! OK, do you know
how much milk costs?

1034
00:55:57,022 --> 00:55:59,274
- Like, it's more than gasoline.
- We're friends with Jeff Chang...

1035
00:55:59,441 --> 00:56:02,777
Hey, can I get my banana? These dudes
are like stressing me. Thanks.

1036
00:56:04,446 --> 00:56:07,449
- OK, who are we talking about?
- Jeff Chang. He used to live here.

1037
00:56:07,615 --> 00:56:08,950
You were his RA.
The cops came in here...

1038
00:56:09,117 --> 00:56:10,493
Oh, yeah, yeah!

1039
00:56:10,660 --> 00:56:13,371
He got super wasted and we're
just trying to get him home.

1040
00:56:13,538 --> 00:56:15,618
No, I don't know where
that little psycho lives, man.

1041
00:56:15,707 --> 00:56:17,587
Why you calling him a psycho?
What's that about?

1042
00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:19,786
Dude, the guy got arrested
for attempted murder, right?

1043
00:56:19,794 --> 00:56:21,337
- What?
- Yeah, that's fucking psycho, right?

1044
00:56:21,504 --> 00:56:24,132
- Murder? Are you kidding me?
- Bullshit. Who did he try to kill?

1045
00:56:24,299 --> 00:56:26,659
I don't know, but he had a gun
and he fucking used it, dude.

1046
00:56:26,801 --> 00:56:28,803
- That doesn't make any sense.
- Yeah. Right?

1047
00:56:28,970 --> 00:56:30,972
You know, the boy's a little nuts.

1048
00:56:32,724 --> 00:56:34,100
Coming from a man in a diaper,
eating a banana.

1049
00:56:34,267 --> 00:56:35,977
OK, I get it.

1050
00:56:36,144 --> 00:56:38,980
I might not look
like your average dude. OK?

1051
00:56:39,147 --> 00:56:40,356
- That's for sure.
- But I've got bitches

1052
00:56:40,523 --> 00:56:43,485
and I've got goblets and
I wake up in the morning happy.

1053
00:56:43,651 --> 00:56:45,012
- Miller...
- Your nipples are just

1054
00:56:45,153 --> 00:56:47,238
- looking right at me.
- What the fuck, man?

1055
00:56:47,405 --> 00:56:49,074
- Thanks for nothing.
- OK.

1056
00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:50,700
- PJ Brill, you fucking weirdo.
- Let's get out of here.

1057
00:56:50,867 --> 00:56:52,327
Have some beer, have some milk.

1058
00:56:52,494 --> 00:56:55,705
I'll try to get iPods for you guys
next time. That'd be great, right?

1059
00:56:55,872 --> 00:56:58,166
This is bullshit.

1060
00:56:58,333 --> 00:57:00,960
You don't think Jeff Chang
actually tried to kill someone, do you?

1061
00:57:01,127 --> 00:57:04,798
No, I don't. I think Jeff Chang is fine.
I think everything is fine.

1062
00:57:04,964 --> 00:57:08,843
- Look at that asshole.
- Yeah, what an idiot.

1063
00:57:09,010 --> 00:57:11,513
- Wait. Is that Jeff Chang?
- What is he wearing?

1064
00:57:11,679 --> 00:57:12,959
Oh, my God, he's drinking again.

1065
00:57:13,098 --> 00:57:14,557
- Fuck me!
- Move.

1066
00:57:14,724 --> 00:57:17,393
- Jeff Chang! We're coming!
- Put the bottle down, buddy!

1067
00:57:21,523 --> 00:57:24,526
Yeah!

1068
00:57:24,692 --> 00:57:27,612
Mommy, look at me dance!
Look at me dance!

1069
00:57:28,613 --> 00:57:30,198
Look at me dance!

1070
00:57:31,241 --> 00:57:34,244
- Holy shit!
- Oh, my God.

1071
00:57:35,286 --> 00:57:36,579
Suck my dick, bear!

1072
00:57:36,746 --> 00:57:39,415
Suck my motherfucking dick, bear!

1073
00:57:40,041 --> 00:57:42,669
Yeah!

1074
00:57:42,836 --> 00:57:45,255
Hey, chipmunk, hey,
I'm one of the good guys.

1075
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:47,215
We're gonna get you
some clothes, OK?

1076
00:57:47,382 --> 00:57:48,550
It's all gonna be OK.

1077
00:57:49,801 --> 00:57:51,177
You'll never catch me alive.

1078
00:57:53,847 --> 00:57:54,848
Fuck!

1079
00:57:57,225 --> 00:57:59,018
Fuck!

1080
00:58:00,562 --> 00:58:02,689
I'm gonna kick his ass!

1081
00:58:02,856 --> 00:58:05,859
We're not gonna kick your ass!
We do need you to come back, though!

1082
00:58:36,181 --> 00:58:38,474
Oh, shit! Lookit...

1083
00:58:38,641 --> 00:58:41,895
- It's the big bad po-po!
- Get down, sir.

1084
00:58:42,061 --> 00:58:44,522
Get down immediately.

1085
00:58:46,774 --> 00:58:49,110
- What are you doing, sir?
- I think he's getting down.

1086
00:58:49,277 --> 00:58:51,154
- Yeah, I know, I see that.
- I'm just saying, technically,

1087
00:58:51,321 --> 00:58:53,656
he's doing what you asked him to do.

1088
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:56,534
What the fuck?

1089
00:58:56,701 --> 00:58:58,244
OK, sir,
please remove yourself...

1090
00:58:58,411 --> 00:59:00,371
He's our friend!

1091
00:59:00,538 --> 00:59:01,706
What the hell is this?

1092
00:59:02,832 --> 00:59:04,500
- Dr. Chang! Hi. What are you...
- Hey.

1093
00:59:04,667 --> 00:59:07,003
- It's so good to see you, man!
- Great to see you.

1094
00:59:07,170 --> 00:59:09,964
Where's my son?

1095
00:59:11,424 --> 00:59:13,927
He's home. He's in bed.
He's sleeping.

1096
00:59:14,552 --> 00:59:17,513
- Why don't I believe you?
- Because you're suspicious and mean?

1097
00:59:18,431 --> 00:59:20,642
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, touch my fucking ass, dude!

1098
00:59:20,808 --> 00:59:23,144
Come on! OK. OK.

1099
00:59:23,311 --> 00:59:26,606
Hey! Why are you asking
about Jeffrey? Is everything OK?

1100
00:59:26,773 --> 00:59:29,776
I have reason to believe that
the three of you have been out drinking.

1101
00:59:29,943 --> 00:59:34,864
What? No. We put Jeff to bed
at like nine o'clock, right, Miller?

1102
00:59:35,031 --> 00:59:37,992
Yeah, we watched Cold Case,
made paninis and then went to bed.

1103
00:59:38,159 --> 00:59:41,329
Yeah, then Miller and I came out
for a drink, or nine.

1104
00:59:41,496 --> 00:59:44,165
What?

1105
00:59:46,042 --> 00:59:48,044
Your parents must be
so proud of you.

1106
00:59:48,211 --> 00:59:49,879
- Get him!
- Free OJ!

1107
00:59:50,046 --> 00:59:51,756
Free the dolphins!

1108
00:59:52,757 --> 00:59:54,133
Fuck you, cop!

1109
00:59:54,300 --> 00:59:55,760
- Oh, my God.
- Fuck.

1110
00:59:55,927 --> 00:59:58,471
You kids today.

1111
00:59:58,638 --> 01:00:01,891
Every one of you is spoiled,
drunk and fat!

1112
01:00:02,058 --> 01:00:04,602
- Oh, my God, right?
- Thank you, sir.

1113
01:00:04,769 --> 01:00:05,770
- Appreciate it.
- Look.

1114
01:00:07,730 --> 01:00:10,358
- Miller, look.
- Fuck that!

1115
01:00:33,089 --> 01:00:36,009
Here are tonight's winners.

1116
01:00:42,515 --> 01:00:43,766
Jesus.

1117
01:00:43,933 --> 01:00:46,728
I feel like someone
should break those two up, right?

1118
01:00:46,894 --> 01:00:48,730
Do you see your friend or what?

1119
01:00:48,896 --> 01:00:51,733
No, is there anywhere else
you might have taken him?

1120
01:00:51,899 --> 01:00:54,610
- Jeffrey Reginald Chang?
- Yeah.

1121
01:00:54,777 --> 01:00:56,612
What? What is it?

1122
01:00:56,779 --> 01:00:58,531
They've taken him
to Health Services.

1123
01:00:59,824 --> 01:01:02,493
- What does that mean?
- I wouldn't want to speculate.

1124
01:01:02,660 --> 01:01:04,746
Look, I'm sure he's OK.

1125
01:01:04,912 --> 01:01:07,123
No, he's not OK, Miller.
He could be in a coma.

1126
01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:08,875
- You understand that?
- No, yeah. Absolutely.

1127
01:01:09,042 --> 01:01:10,418
All right, how do we get
to Health Services?

1128
01:01:10,585 --> 01:01:12,420
- You're gonna wanna go...
- I can take you.

1129
01:01:12,587 --> 01:01:13,963
Who are you? Why is
she wearing an orange vest?

1130
01:01:14,130 --> 01:01:16,382
I'm Cara.
I'm a campus security escort.

1131
01:01:16,549 --> 01:01:18,259
- Why don't you come with me?
- Of course you are.

1132
01:01:18,426 --> 01:01:20,136
- I will come with you. Casey.
- What?

1133
01:01:20,303 --> 01:01:22,889
- She's an escort. Whatever.
- She not that kind of escort.

1134
01:01:23,056 --> 01:01:25,767
No, I love the name Cara.
In fact, my mother's name is Cara.

1135
01:01:25,933 --> 01:01:27,853
Your mother's name is Beth.
Everybody knows that.

1136
01:01:28,019 --> 01:01:29,812
Yeah, but I call her Cara,
sometimes.

1137
01:01:29,979 --> 01:01:33,024
But, Cara, where are
your people from? Italy?

1138
01:01:33,191 --> 01:01:34,734
- Mexico.
- Latinas.

1139
01:01:34,901 --> 01:01:36,444
Ladies...

1140
01:01:36,611 --> 01:01:39,072
A lot of Latinas.
Ladies, let's just talk about this.

1141
01:01:43,409 --> 01:01:45,286
- What the fuck?
- What the fuck, dude?

1142
01:01:45,453 --> 01:01:48,414
- Where the fuck are we?
- I don't like this.

1143
01:01:48,581 --> 01:01:51,501
- What are you freaks looking at?
- Why are we here?

1144
01:01:51,667 --> 01:01:54,253
- What the fuck is going on right now?
- I don't want to be here.

1145
01:01:54,420 --> 01:01:57,215
- Why aren't you guys saying anything?
- Holy shit, dude.

1146
01:01:57,382 --> 01:01:59,675
- We are shackled.
- Why are we shackled?

1147
01:01:59,842 --> 01:02:00,968
Why are you wearing
a fucking tube sock?

1148
01:02:01,135 --> 01:02:02,303
Why are you wearing a sock?

1149
01:02:02,470 --> 01:02:04,764
- They match. Whose socks are these?
- We are so fucked.

1150
01:02:04,931 --> 01:02:07,225
Welcome to the Tribunal of Justice.

1151
01:02:07,392 --> 01:02:08,518
What?

1152
01:02:08,684 --> 01:02:12,522
These two men stand accused
of infiltrating our sacred home,

1153
01:02:12,688 --> 01:02:14,816
violating the dignity
of two of our pledges,

1154
01:02:14,982 --> 01:02:18,069
and destroying
our award-winning rose garden.

1155
01:02:18,236 --> 01:02:19,529
Look, if I could just respond
to all that...

1156
01:02:19,695 --> 01:02:22,782
- What sayest the sisterhood?
- Guilty as charged!

1157
01:02:22,949 --> 01:02:25,535
OK, look,
in our country, America,

1158
01:02:25,701 --> 01:02:27,902
usually there's like a trial
and some evidence and shit!

1159
01:02:27,912 --> 01:02:30,498
- You're not just guilty.
- The punishment shall match the crime.

1160
01:02:30,665 --> 01:02:32,959
The aggrieved may enter
the circle of vengeance.

1161
01:02:33,126 --> 01:02:36,879
The circle of what? Hold on.
Holy shit, look who it is.

1162
01:02:37,046 --> 01:02:39,841
Holy shit, these chicks
are gonna tear us up.

1163
01:02:40,007 --> 01:02:42,885
- Assume the position.
- Wait, actually, you know what?

1164
01:02:43,052 --> 01:02:45,972
I didn't even spank them.
That was all him. I wasn't even...

1165
01:02:46,139 --> 01:02:47,807
- What are you...?
- Fuck you, dude. I'm sorry.

1166
01:02:47,974 --> 01:02:49,809
Punishment grows more severe
every second you delay.

1167
01:02:49,976 --> 01:02:52,228
- Ready, sister?
- Ready.

1168
01:02:55,773 --> 01:02:57,024
Assume the position.

1169
01:02:58,067 --> 01:03:00,445
- OK, OK, OK.
- Oh, my God.

1170
01:03:02,238 --> 01:03:04,949
OK, Chantelle, I have a rare
skin condition on my upper thighs,

1171
01:03:05,116 --> 01:03:06,617
so if you could
just avoid that area.

1172
01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:09,036
- Oh, yeah, totally.
- Thanks, Chantelle.

1173
01:03:09,203 --> 01:03:10,683
I'll totally watch it while I just...

1174
01:03:10,746 --> 01:03:13,082
Oh, my God, holy shit!

1175
01:03:13,249 --> 01:03:15,460
My God!

1176
01:03:15,626 --> 01:03:17,837
You just had to fuck
with these girls, didn't you?

1177
01:03:18,004 --> 01:03:19,422
Holy shit!

1178
01:03:19,589 --> 01:03:21,674
Yeah, when a lady asks you to spank
her ass, you spank that ass!

1179
01:03:21,841 --> 01:03:24,594
Great. You know what?
You are fucking unbelievable, man!

1180
01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:27,096
- It's called having manners, Casey!
- Fuck my face!

1181
01:03:27,263 --> 01:03:29,223
Enough. Turn around.

1182
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:32,602
It hurts. It hurts.

1183
01:03:33,186 --> 01:03:34,228
It hurts.

1184
01:03:35,646 --> 01:03:38,024
Look, Goat Mask Lady...

1185
01:03:38,191 --> 01:03:39,650
Please.

1186
01:03:39,817 --> 01:03:42,278
- I mean, like, we're really sorry.
- Yeah.

1187
01:03:42,445 --> 01:03:44,238
We're just trying to get
our friend Jeff Chang home.

1188
01:03:44,405 --> 01:03:46,491
- Justice has been served...
- Oh, thank God.

1189
01:03:46,657 --> 01:03:47,825
For the first offense.

1190
01:03:47,992 --> 01:03:50,828
- What?
- To address the second offense,

1191
01:03:50,995 --> 01:03:52,872
the offenders will
now commence making out.

1192
01:03:53,039 --> 01:03:54,279
- Oh, fuck! Yeah, right.
- What?

1193
01:03:54,415 --> 01:03:55,708
You guys really
don't want to see that.

1194
01:03:55,875 --> 01:03:57,543
That's a joke,
that's disgusting. You're weird.

1195
01:03:57,710 --> 01:03:59,754
The longer you wait,
the longer the kiss.

1196
01:04:01,380 --> 01:04:04,220
- Look, there's no way I'm kissing him.
- Yeah I'm sorry, that's just...

1197
01:04:04,258 --> 01:04:06,260
All those who want to see
the offenders kiss,

1198
01:04:06,427 --> 01:04:07,553
stomp your feet.

1199
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:09,472
That's unfair!
Clearly we're outnumbered.

1200
01:04:09,639 --> 01:04:11,920
Yeah, OK, look, you guys
can stomp your feet all you want,

1201
01:04:11,933 --> 01:04:13,573
there's no way
I'm making out with a dude!

1202
01:04:13,684 --> 01:04:18,147
Do it. Or be forever branded
with the mark of the sisterhood.

1203
01:04:18,314 --> 01:04:19,482
Holy shit.

1204
01:04:19,649 --> 01:04:21,651
Dude, I can't get branded.

1205
01:04:21,817 --> 01:04:24,862
I'm gonna like not be able
to get buried in a Jewish cemetery or...

1206
01:04:25,029 --> 01:04:26,447
Fuck it.

1207
01:04:27,990 --> 01:04:29,075
Really?

1208
01:04:29,700 --> 01:04:30,910
Fuck it, dude.

1209
01:04:34,288 --> 01:04:37,333
I just... I wish you were wearing more
than a tube sock, but fuck it, baby.

1210
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:39,544
I really wish you
didn't call me baby.

1211
01:04:40,461 --> 01:04:41,546
OK.

1212
01:04:43,172 --> 01:04:44,715
- Tongue?
- Of course, tongue.

1213
01:04:44,882 --> 01:04:46,259
Really? You had to fucking ask
for tongue?

1214
01:04:46,425 --> 01:04:48,052
I'm sorry, that was stupid.

1215
01:04:56,435 --> 01:04:58,646
- Grab his boobie.
- You never even did that.

1216
01:04:58,813 --> 01:05:00,273
Do it, offender.

1217
01:05:09,156 --> 01:05:12,910
Dude, are you getting
a chubby right now?

1218
01:05:13,077 --> 01:05:15,580
Dude, I can't help it. You're
actually kind of a good kisser.

1219
01:05:16,581 --> 01:05:17,873
You know what?
I'm fucking done.

1220
01:05:27,133 --> 01:05:29,844
- None of that ever happened.
- Ever.

1221
01:05:31,345 --> 01:05:33,180
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi.

1222
01:05:33,347 --> 01:05:35,516
We need to find
some clothes, man.

1223
01:05:35,683 --> 01:05:37,852
We'll get some
at Health Services.

1224
01:05:40,313 --> 01:05:41,731
- Thanks, dude.
- Hey.

1225
01:05:41,897 --> 01:05:42,898
All right,
it's already 6:00 a.m.

1226
01:05:43,065 --> 01:05:44,505
We gotta hurry up
and get Jeff Chang.

1227
01:05:44,525 --> 01:05:47,111
Dude, if I walk any
faster my sock's gonna fall off.

1228
01:05:48,487 --> 01:05:51,240
- This is all your fault.
- What?

1229
01:05:51,407 --> 01:05:53,326
You made Jeff Chang go out,
got him wasted,

1230
01:05:53,492 --> 01:05:56,370
you fucked with the Latin sorority
girls, you pulled a gun out on Randy.

1231
01:05:56,537 --> 01:05:58,378
OK, look, you cannot pin
all this on me, Casey.

1232
01:05:58,456 --> 01:06:00,856
You're the reason why we are
currently walking through campus

1233
01:06:00,875 --> 01:06:02,995
at six in the morning wearing
only socks on our cocks!

1234
01:06:03,044 --> 01:06:05,630
OK. I'm sorry for trying
to show you guys a good time.

1235
01:06:05,796 --> 01:06:08,557
You know what, man, we're done. OK?
When this is over don't e-mail me,

1236
01:06:08,633 --> 01:06:09,873
don't text me, don't call me...

1237
01:06:10,009 --> 01:06:11,769
don't poke me...
you and me are fucking over!

1238
01:06:11,844 --> 01:06:14,388
And another thing,
Sidewinder sucks!

1239
01:06:15,890 --> 01:06:16,849
Take it back.

1240
01:06:17,016 --> 01:06:18,696
It's hot, it's dirty,
the people are gross,

1241
01:06:18,851 --> 01:06:20,212
and half the acts are fucking DJs.

1242
01:06:20,353 --> 01:06:21,812
Why would I want
to spend a week of my life

1243
01:06:21,979 --> 01:06:23,898
watching some asshole
in a pink track suit

1244
01:06:24,065 --> 01:06:25,225
play his fucking iPod for me?

1245
01:06:25,274 --> 01:06:26,484
Because your friends
are gonna be there...

1246
01:06:26,651 --> 01:06:28,736
I'm not going to some
stupid fucking music festival

1247
01:06:28,903 --> 01:06:31,783
just to preserve the illusion that
we're still friends because we're not.

1248
01:06:31,906 --> 01:06:33,949
We're not still friends
anymore, Miller.

1249
01:06:35,910 --> 01:06:38,204
OK. It's cool, man.

1250
01:06:40,289 --> 01:06:42,500
So since we're not friends, I can tell
you how fucking lame you've been.

1251
01:06:42,667 --> 01:06:44,335
I can tell you that you probably
should go to Wall Street

1252
01:06:44,502 --> 01:06:47,338
and that you should spend the funnest
years of your life in an office.

1253
01:06:47,505 --> 01:06:49,385
Working for the man,
wearing a cute little suit.

1254
01:06:49,423 --> 01:06:52,176
It's called growing up, dude.
Why don't you look into it?

1255
01:06:52,343 --> 01:06:54,383
I don't need to grow up, bro,
you need to grow down.

1256
01:06:54,470 --> 01:06:56,430
- That's not even an expression!
- Well, today it is! OK?

1257
01:06:56,597 --> 01:06:58,015
Do you remember what it's like
to have fun, to be cool,

1258
01:06:58,182 --> 01:06:59,183
to give a shit
about your friends?

1259
01:06:59,350 --> 01:07:01,102
- You've changed.
- Oh, my God.

1260
01:07:01,268 --> 01:07:03,396
You don't have fucking balls
anymore. You're a little bitch.

1261
01:07:03,562 --> 01:07:07,233
Well, you know what, man? You're just
the fucking same desperate, low-life,

1262
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:08,984
- fucking loser that you've always been.
- Yeah?

1263
01:07:09,151 --> 01:07:12,191
- Yeah. So fucking kudos to you, man!
- Don't fucking push me. Don't start...

1264
01:07:12,196 --> 01:07:14,116
You're a fucking dick, dude!
Fucking white trash!

1265
01:07:14,281 --> 01:07:16,200
Fucking hands off!

1266
01:07:16,367 --> 01:07:18,077
Yeah, take it, bitch!

1267
01:07:18,244 --> 01:07:20,329
- Fucking asshole!
- Could fight...

1268
01:07:22,248 --> 01:07:24,500
You fight like a girl.

1269
01:07:33,384 --> 01:07:35,344
Health Services,
how can I direct your call?

1270
01:07:38,597 --> 01:07:39,932
I'll call you back.

1271
01:07:43,310 --> 01:07:45,396
Mental Health, third floor.

1272
01:07:45,563 --> 01:07:48,315
- You're hilarious.
- We're here to pick up our friend.

1273
01:07:48,482 --> 01:07:49,692
Name of patient?

1274
01:07:49,859 --> 01:07:51,986
Jeffrey Reginald Chang.

1275
01:07:52,153 --> 01:07:55,156
Plus if you had any clothes,
that would be greatly appreciated.

1276
01:07:56,282 --> 01:07:58,743
He's here. Let me get his file.

1277
01:07:58,909 --> 01:08:01,579
And if you could please
hurry up, we're in a rush here.

1278
01:08:03,330 --> 01:08:05,166
Thank God I don't know
anyone at this school.

1279
01:08:07,418 --> 01:08:08,419
Casey?

1280
01:08:09,837 --> 01:08:12,715
Nicole. Hi.

1281
01:08:12,882 --> 01:08:15,676
Where are your clothes?

1282
01:08:15,843 --> 01:08:18,596
We just got jumped by some girls
It's a long story.

1283
01:08:18,763 --> 01:08:20,514
- I bet.
- What are you doing here?

1284
01:08:20,681 --> 01:08:23,601
Randy got mauled
by a buffalo, remember?

1285
01:08:23,768 --> 01:08:25,770
Right, yes! How is that guy?

1286
01:08:25,936 --> 01:08:28,606
- He's fine, I guess.
- Yeah?

1287
01:08:28,773 --> 01:08:33,652
I mean, I came over here to check on him
and he got all agro on me again.

1288
01:08:33,819 --> 01:08:37,198
And then, I got pissed
and we broke up.

1289
01:08:37,364 --> 01:08:38,657
Yeah.

1290
01:08:38,824 --> 01:08:41,035
So, we're pretty much done.

1291
01:08:41,202 --> 01:08:43,037
Really?

1292
01:08:43,204 --> 01:08:45,039
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, it's fine.

1293
01:08:45,206 --> 01:08:47,124
I mean, we weren't
really that serious.

1294
01:08:47,291 --> 01:08:50,044
- But, still, I mean...
- Yeah, it was a long time coming.

1295
01:08:50,211 --> 01:08:51,462
- OK.
- Anyway...

1296
01:08:51,629 --> 01:08:54,965
it looks like I'm going
to South America by myself now, so...

1297
01:08:55,132 --> 01:08:56,759
Oh, right, the trip.

1298
01:08:56,926 --> 01:08:58,803
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no, I'm still going.

1299
01:08:58,969 --> 01:08:59,970
Cool.

1300
01:09:00,137 --> 01:09:03,766
Yeah, my flight leaves
in a few hours, so...

1301
01:09:05,559 --> 01:09:07,520
I guess this is goodbye.

1302
01:09:14,485 --> 01:09:15,653
OK.

1303
01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:17,446
Bye.

1304
01:09:20,074 --> 01:09:22,368
- Can I go with you?
- No thanks, I'm good.

1305
01:09:22,535 --> 01:09:24,078
OK, well, whenever
you're not good,

1306
01:09:24,245 --> 01:09:26,205
I'll be right here,
reading Perfect Bride.

1307
01:09:27,498 --> 01:09:29,917
<i>What, I can't read
Perfect Bride, bro?</i>

1308
01:09:31,836 --> 01:09:34,213
I'm sorry, Jeffrey Chang
is on 24-hour hold.

1309
01:09:34,380 --> 01:09:36,215
He can't be released
until tomorrow morning.

1310
01:09:36,382 --> 01:09:37,800
- What?
- No, he's gotta be home by 7:00 a.m.

1311
01:09:37,967 --> 01:09:40,177
- Why is he on hold?
- It's confidential.

1312
01:09:40,344 --> 01:09:41,864
It's confidential, Casey.
Give me that.

1313
01:09:41,887 --> 01:09:45,599
Hey! Give that back immediately!
Give me that! You, stop!

1314
01:09:45,766 --> 01:09:47,351
My God, look how many times
he's been in here, man.

1315
01:09:47,518 --> 01:09:49,436
Give that back to me,
you little shit!

1316
01:09:50,604 --> 01:09:52,064
Oh, my God.

1317
01:09:52,231 --> 01:09:54,316
"Patient was brought in
for attempted murder.

1318
01:09:54,483 --> 01:09:58,404
Later determined his weapon
misfired during a suicide attempt."

1319
01:09:58,571 --> 01:10:00,656
Jeff Chang tried
to commit suicide?

1320
01:10:02,491 --> 01:10:04,368
Get out. Now!

1321
01:10:10,207 --> 01:10:12,042
Dude, what the fuck is going on?

1322
01:10:13,419 --> 01:10:16,130
I mean, Jeff Chang
was always the happy one.

1323
01:10:16,297 --> 01:10:19,174
What were we supposed to do?
He didn't tell us anything.

1324
01:10:19,341 --> 01:10:22,261
Dude, look, fuck that. OK?

1325
01:10:22,428 --> 01:10:25,973
We are his best friends, and he felt
like he couldn't even call us.

1326
01:10:26,974 --> 01:10:28,183
That sucks.

1327
01:10:29,518 --> 01:10:30,686
We suck.

1328
01:10:34,523 --> 01:10:35,983
What happened, man?

1329
01:10:36,984 --> 01:10:38,777
We used to be so close and...

1330
01:10:39,486 --> 01:10:40,988
Fuck.

1331
01:10:44,491 --> 01:10:46,827
- Thanks, Erin.
- No problem, Gary. See you next time.

1332
01:10:48,704 --> 01:10:51,040
Jesus, not The Chief again.

1333
01:10:51,206 --> 01:10:52,875
What's up, Chief?

1334
01:10:53,042 --> 01:10:55,002
Hey, dudes. How was your night?

1335
01:10:55,169 --> 01:10:57,338
- Pretty terrible, actually.
- Tell me about it.

1336
01:10:57,504 --> 01:11:00,090
I ripped two sheets of LSD
and spent the whole night

1337
01:11:00,257 --> 01:11:02,593
dancing in front of my house again.

1338
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:04,553
Now I gotta go teach.

1339
01:11:09,850 --> 01:11:11,518
Wait. Did The Chief just say

1340
01:11:11,685 --> 01:11:13,765
he was dancing in front of his house
the whole night?

1341
01:11:13,812 --> 01:11:15,564
- Yeah, so what?
- That's it!

1342
01:11:15,731 --> 01:11:17,171
- What's it?
- Oh, my God, that's it!

1343
01:11:17,274 --> 01:11:18,317
What's it?
What are you talking about?

1344
01:11:18,484 --> 01:11:19,693
OK. So, the first time
we saw The Chief

1345
01:11:19,860 --> 01:11:21,111
was in front
of Jeff Chang's place, right?

1346
01:11:21,278 --> 01:11:22,988
And then we saw him
like nine more times.

1347
01:11:23,155 --> 01:11:25,532
Right, and we thought that he was
just wandering around campus all night,

1348
01:11:25,699 --> 01:11:28,452
just like we were.
But what if he wasn't?

1349
01:11:28,619 --> 01:11:32,247
What if The Chief was
in the exact same place the entire time?

1350
01:11:32,414 --> 01:11:35,542
Then that would mean we walked past
Jeff Chang's place a dozen times.

1351
01:11:35,709 --> 01:11:37,510
- Oh, my God!
- Yes, and that's why Jeff Chang

1352
01:11:37,544 --> 01:11:38,671
kept mumbling those Indian chants.

1353
01:11:38,837 --> 01:11:40,547
It was because he was trying
to tell us where he lived.

1354
01:11:40,714 --> 01:11:42,257
It's like The Da Vinci Code
except it makes sense.

1355
01:11:42,424 --> 01:11:45,304
Oh, my God, we are officially the two
biggest morons in the entire world.

1356
01:11:45,344 --> 01:11:47,513
Yeah. Hey, Chief,
where do you live?

1357
01:11:47,680 --> 01:11:50,557
- Fifth and Broadway.
- Fifth and Broadway.

1358
01:11:50,724 --> 01:11:52,226
All right, so wait,
here's what we gotta do.

1359
01:11:52,393 --> 01:11:53,811
- We gotta break Jeff Chang out.
- Break him out.

1360
01:11:53,978 --> 01:11:56,146
- Get him home, gotta get him sober...
- Sober him up.

1361
01:11:56,313 --> 01:11:57,481
And then we gotta
get him showered and dressed

1362
01:11:57,648 --> 01:12:00,442
before his dad shows up,
which is in 36 minutes.

1363
01:12:00,609 --> 01:12:03,153
- That sounds totally impossible.
- Yeah?

1364
01:12:03,320 --> 01:12:04,446
Well, I'm not gonna let
Jeff Chang down again.

1365
01:12:04,613 --> 01:12:06,281
No, let's get that
little fucker home.

1366
01:12:07,074 --> 01:12:08,784
Wait, wait.
Are we best friends again?

1367
01:12:08,951 --> 01:12:10,703
- No.
- Right. No, I'm not either.

1368
01:12:10,869 --> 01:12:11,704
Cool.

1369
01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:18,252
Hey, hey, you can't be in here!

1370
01:12:19,628 --> 01:12:20,963
- Jeff Chang!
- Jeff Chang!

1371
01:12:21,130 --> 01:12:22,381
- Jeff Chang!
- God, God!

1372
01:12:24,508 --> 01:12:26,260
- Jeff Chang!
- Jeff Chang!

1373
01:12:26,427 --> 01:12:28,637
Have you seen a little Asian
with shit on his face? No? Thank you.

1374
01:12:28,804 --> 01:12:30,264
- Jeff Chang!
- Jeff Chang!

1375
01:12:30,431 --> 01:12:32,558
- Hey, he's in here!
- Nice!

1376
01:12:32,725 --> 01:12:34,226
We're gonna break you out,
buddy.

1377
01:12:34,393 --> 01:12:35,853
- Jeff Chang!
- He's barely coherent.

1378
01:12:37,271 --> 01:12:38,605
Man, how're we gonna
get him outta here?

1379
01:12:38,772 --> 01:12:40,691
There's like orderlies everywhere!

1380
01:12:40,858 --> 01:12:43,485
Casey.
I just had an awesome idea.

1381
01:12:43,652 --> 01:12:45,779
This is definitely
not an awesome idea.

1382
01:12:45,946 --> 01:12:47,906
It'll be fine.
I've done this a thousand times.

1383
01:12:48,073 --> 01:12:49,491
No, that's what you said last time.

1384
01:12:49,658 --> 01:12:52,286
Hey, you gotta trust me.
Now bring him a little to the left. OK.

1385
01:12:52,453 --> 01:12:54,038
No, no, we gotta
pull him back up.

1386
01:12:54,204 --> 01:12:56,373
That's the Spirit Mobile.
It's super tall.

1387
01:12:56,540 --> 01:12:58,876
- I don't like this ride, guys.
- No, it's too far down!

1388
01:12:59,043 --> 01:13:01,324
- Pull him back up!
- OK. You're right. Let's pull him up.

1389
01:13:01,336 --> 01:13:02,296
- Oh, shit!
- Miller!

1390
01:13:04,673 --> 01:13:07,676
Oh, my God!
Did we just kill Jeff Chang again?

1391
01:13:12,181 --> 01:13:14,892
- Where's...? Where's the Spirit Mobile?
- I don't know. It was right here.

1392
01:13:15,059 --> 01:13:17,311
Oh, no. Did they drive off
with Jeff Chang on it?

1393
01:13:17,478 --> 01:13:18,771
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

1394
01:13:18,937 --> 01:13:21,648
I thought it was only 20 feet.
How am I supposed to know?

1395
01:13:26,653 --> 01:13:28,113
Come on, guys.
Get in. We're late.

1396
01:13:29,323 --> 01:13:31,575
- What the fuck?
- Randy, look!

1397
01:13:31,742 --> 01:13:33,535
It's the guys who stole
your smart phone.

1398
01:13:33,702 --> 01:13:35,454
- Fuckers.
- Why are they taking your truck, Randy?

1399
01:13:35,621 --> 01:13:38,248
- Get out of the Spirit Mobile!
- Oh shit! Go, go, go!

1400
01:13:39,208 --> 01:13:40,167
- Go!
- You're dead!

1401
01:13:40,334 --> 01:13:41,585
Hey!

1402
01:13:44,088 --> 01:13:47,341
- Bitch.
- Hey, what was that all about?

1403
01:13:47,508 --> 01:13:49,349
Don't worry about it,
just drive, drive, drive.

1404
01:13:49,843 --> 01:13:52,096
- How'd you even start the car?
- The keys were in the ignition.

1405
01:13:52,262 --> 01:13:55,057
Fuck! I'm so late.
My dad's gonna kill me.

1406
01:14:09,113 --> 01:14:12,616
Hey, why is there a teddy bear
glued to my penis?

1407
01:14:12,783 --> 01:14:15,035
No idea, no idea
how that could have happened.

1408
01:14:15,202 --> 01:14:16,870
I miss you guys.

1409
01:14:17,037 --> 01:14:18,914
How come we never
hang out anymore?

1410
01:14:19,289 --> 01:14:21,041
- Wrong lane, wrong lane!
- Wrong lane!

1411
01:14:21,208 --> 01:14:23,544
You're in the wrong lane!

1412
01:14:25,379 --> 01:14:27,540
Oh, my God, Jeff Chang,
you're fucking crazy right now!

1413
01:14:27,548 --> 01:14:28,748
I feel really alert right now.

1414
01:14:28,757 --> 01:14:30,259
- I feel like Spider-Man.
- What?

1415
01:14:30,425 --> 01:14:32,761
I just really wish I had my contacts on.

1416
01:14:32,928 --> 01:14:33,971
- Oh, my God!
- Fuck!

1417
01:14:34,138 --> 01:14:36,890
Parking meter, parking meter,
parking meter...!

1418
01:14:38,433 --> 01:14:41,311
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Oh, my God, oh, my God...

1419
01:14:41,478 --> 01:14:44,189
Oh, shit! What are you doing?
What are you doing?

1420
01:14:51,905 --> 01:14:53,782
Hit the brake, dude.
Dude, hit the brake! Hit the brake!

1421
01:14:53,949 --> 01:14:55,033
- No, stop!
- Dude, do it!

1422
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,411
Get off!

1423
01:15:01,707 --> 01:15:03,667
Look, I don't want to die.
I want to go back to college.

1424
01:15:03,834 --> 01:15:06,378
I want to go to Alaska, I want
to make out with a black chick!

1425
01:15:06,545 --> 01:15:08,547
- I wanna fuck Casey's sister!
- What?

1426
01:15:08,714 --> 01:15:10,340
- You dropped out of school?
- Yeah!

1427
01:15:10,507 --> 01:15:12,009
Why would you do that, Miller?

1428
01:15:12,176 --> 01:15:14,428
Turn around and drive the car, please!

1429
01:15:18,557 --> 01:15:21,393
Oh, my God, we're going to jail.
We're going to jail.

1430
01:15:23,020 --> 01:15:24,980
- I can shake them, no problem.
- No, don't shake them.

1431
01:15:25,147 --> 01:15:26,857
Don't shake them!

1432
01:15:27,024 --> 01:15:29,276
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1433
01:15:29,443 --> 01:15:31,528
We're not on the street anymore.
This is not where cars go.

1434
01:15:31,695 --> 01:15:33,780
Cars don't go here.
Cars don't go here, Jeff Chang!

1435
01:15:37,993 --> 01:15:39,453
Oh, my God. Are your eyes open?

1436
01:15:39,620 --> 01:15:40,996
- Fuck you.
- I can't tell.

1437
01:15:41,163 --> 01:15:44,458
- Oh, no. Oh, my God.
- Out of my way, nerds!

1438
01:15:46,460 --> 01:15:47,794
Hey, did you see that guy?

1439
01:15:49,463 --> 01:15:51,048
Casey, we need to neutralize the target

1440
01:15:51,215 --> 01:15:52,966
'cause he doesn't know
what the fuck's going on right now.

1441
01:15:53,133 --> 01:15:55,052
- Come on, guys.
- Shit, shit, shit.

1442
01:16:10,817 --> 01:16:13,987
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't be driving.

1443
01:16:29,378 --> 01:16:33,423
It's 6:51, we have nine minutes to clean
him up before his dad gets here.

1444
01:16:33,590 --> 01:16:34,424
Guys, my back hurts.

1445
01:16:34,591 --> 01:16:36,218
Yeah, we threw you out
a third-story window onto a SUV.

1446
01:16:36,385 --> 01:16:38,345
- What? Why would you do that?
- You told us to.

1447
01:16:38,512 --> 01:16:39,680
Why would I say that?

1448
01:16:39,846 --> 01:16:40,973
Because we're your best friends.
We love you.

1449
01:16:41,139 --> 01:16:42,419
Get him in the house!
Get him in!

1450
01:16:44,643 --> 01:16:45,811
What do we do about the bear?

1451
01:16:45,978 --> 01:16:47,604
I don't know, man, just fucking
hold him or something.

1452
01:16:47,771 --> 01:16:49,606
- Oh, my God.
- Let's go.

1453
01:16:49,773 --> 01:16:52,192
- Holy shit! What are you doing?
- Pull harder.

1454
01:16:52,359 --> 01:16:54,861
- I don't want to rip his dick off!
- I don't want that either!

1455
01:16:55,028 --> 01:16:56,708
- Fuck you!
- Seriously, pull harder, dude!

1456
01:16:56,863 --> 01:16:59,324
I don't know, man, Jeff Chang has
a super stretchy penis!

1457
01:16:59,491 --> 01:17:01,910
- Pull harder, dude!
- I'm trying to!

1458
01:17:02,077 --> 01:17:04,037
Fucking come on!

1459
01:17:05,330 --> 01:17:07,374
Oh, my God!

1460
01:17:08,375 --> 01:17:10,252
Dude, we just circumcised Jeff Chang.

1461
01:17:10,419 --> 01:17:12,796
- Who cares? Get him in the bathroom.
- Come on, buddy!

1462
01:17:22,723 --> 01:17:24,891
Dude, I can't believe
we actually pulled this off.

1463
01:17:25,058 --> 01:17:26,810
Yeah, of course we did, man,
we're fucking awesome.

1464
01:17:26,977 --> 01:17:29,771
- Small arms.
- Whatever. Come on.

1465
01:17:29,938 --> 01:17:32,399
- There we go.
- I don't know if I can do this.

1466
01:17:32,566 --> 01:17:34,735
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, what do you mean?

1467
01:17:34,901 --> 01:17:37,738
I mean, like, I don't know
if I want go to med school

1468
01:17:37,904 --> 01:17:39,740
or be a doctor or any of it.

1469
01:17:42,284 --> 01:17:44,578
- Now you fucking tell us?
- Miller, shut up.

1470
01:17:44,745 --> 01:17:46,747
No, dude, are you serious?
I fucking kissed a guy for you!

1471
01:17:46,913 --> 01:17:47,914
- Miller!
- What?

1472
01:17:48,081 --> 01:17:50,917
Yeah, I kissed Casey.
It was fucking gross.

1473
01:17:51,084 --> 01:17:52,544
- Yeah.
- Miller, shut up.

1474
01:17:52,711 --> 01:17:53,712
- What?
- Let him talk.

1475
01:17:53,879 --> 01:17:56,631
Look, I'm sort of losing
my shit up here.

1476
01:17:59,343 --> 01:18:01,803
We heard that you tried to off yourself.

1477
01:18:01,970 --> 01:18:04,222
- Miller, really?
- What?

1478
01:18:04,389 --> 01:18:06,141
- Why'd you do it, man?
- I didn't.

1479
01:18:06,308 --> 01:18:09,853
- So then, what...?
- I mean, I did, sort of. I...

1480
01:18:10,020 --> 01:18:12,773
I was up for 72 hours studying.
I was cracked out on pills.

1481
01:18:12,939 --> 01:18:15,192
I was literally
hallucinating in my room,

1482
01:18:15,359 --> 01:18:17,027
but I didn't actually try to...

1483
01:18:17,194 --> 01:18:19,196
Right.
I do weird shit when I hallucinate too.

1484
01:18:19,363 --> 01:18:20,655
Yeah.

1485
01:18:21,907 --> 01:18:24,034
- You know?
- The doctors say I'm not suicidal.

1486
01:18:24,201 --> 01:18:26,578
They just think I'm fucking
stressed out of my mind.

1487
01:18:26,745 --> 01:18:28,497
- I mean, you guys know my dad.
- Yeah.

1488
01:18:28,663 --> 01:18:31,458
Yeah. He's been
riding me my whole life

1489
01:18:31,625 --> 01:18:34,503
to go to med school and be
a doctor, but I hate medicine.

1490
01:18:34,669 --> 01:18:37,923
I suck in science.
I'm fucking miserable.

1491
01:18:38,090 --> 01:18:40,133
- So, don't do it.
- Yeah. Fuck it.

1492
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:43,136
Oh, shit, he's here. What should I do?

1493
01:18:43,303 --> 01:18:45,423
Honestly, I think you
have to tell him the truth, man.

1494
01:18:45,472 --> 01:18:47,015
I think that's pretty obvious
to everybody in this room.

1495
01:18:47,182 --> 01:18:49,518
- You gotta tell him the truth.
- Oh, my God, you guys are so white.

1496
01:18:49,684 --> 01:18:51,436
What?
Dude, that's really racist.

1497
01:18:51,603 --> 01:18:53,243
Yeah. White people
have feelings too, man.

1498
01:18:53,397 --> 01:18:54,856
I can't just tell him the truth.

1499
01:18:55,023 --> 01:18:57,943
I come from like five generations
of doctors. I'm the first-born son.

1500
01:18:58,110 --> 01:19:00,153
This is what's expected of me.

1501
01:19:00,320 --> 01:19:03,907
Fuck!

1502
01:19:04,074 --> 01:19:06,952
Dude, it's the rest of your life, man.
Stop being such a fucking pussy.

1503
01:19:07,994 --> 01:19:09,955
He's your dad, dude.
He'll understand.

1504
01:19:10,122 --> 01:19:11,748
- I promise.
- Yeah.

1505
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:19,714
- Holy shit!
- What the fuck?

1506
01:19:19,881 --> 01:19:21,425
You just got rocked, boy!

1507
01:19:21,591 --> 01:19:22,968
- You OK, buddy?
- What?

1508
01:19:23,135 --> 01:19:25,095
- Bat me.
- That was so hot, Randy.

1509
01:19:25,262 --> 01:19:28,306
Look, man, we're sorry that we stole
your truck, but like, calm down, man.

1510
01:19:28,473 --> 01:19:32,185
No, this isn't about my truck.

1511
01:19:32,352 --> 01:19:33,395
- OK! OK!
- Chill, chill!

1512
01:19:33,562 --> 01:19:36,022
That lamp will
never work again, Randy!

1513
01:19:36,189 --> 01:19:38,358
- Yeah!
- OK, OK, OK, what is this about?

1514
01:19:38,525 --> 01:19:41,069
- Is this about your phone?
- Right, OK, we're sorry, Randy,

1515
01:19:41,236 --> 01:19:43,029
that we stole your truck
and your cell phone.

1516
01:19:43,196 --> 01:19:47,367
- This ain't about my phone neither.
- Wait!

1517
01:19:47,534 --> 01:19:48,910
- Stop!
- Bitch!

1518
01:19:49,077 --> 01:19:50,579
That's my fucking boom box, man.

1519
01:19:50,745 --> 01:19:52,831
- What is it about? Is it about Nicole?
- Calm down!

1520
01:19:52,998 --> 01:19:54,799
Oh, my God, you didn't
even close with Nicole.

1521
01:19:54,958 --> 01:19:56,358
Yeah, but I was really close,
right?

1522
01:19:56,460 --> 01:19:58,044
No, there's no such thing as
almost fucking his girlfriend.

1523
01:19:58,211 --> 01:20:00,380
You either fucked his girlfriend
or you didn't.

1524
01:20:00,547 --> 01:20:02,132
- Stop talking, assholes!
- He didn't fuck your girlfriend!

1525
01:20:02,299 --> 01:20:03,717
- No, no, no, no.
- He didn't fuck your girlfriend!

1526
01:20:03,884 --> 01:20:05,564
- That's what I'm saying.
- Is this a joke?

1527
01:20:05,635 --> 01:20:06,803
I almost... I almost did.

1528
01:20:06,970 --> 01:20:09,389
Then you've almost
fucked every girl you know.

1529
01:20:09,556 --> 01:20:11,933
This is not about my truck
or my phone...

1530
01:20:12,100 --> 01:20:14,728
or... my... girl!

1531
01:20:14,895 --> 01:20:16,521
- That's my laptop!
- Fuck your laptop!

1532
01:20:16,688 --> 01:20:18,398
Get a desktop, bitch!

1533
01:20:18,565 --> 01:20:21,234
You know what? This is definitely
about the dart in the face.

1534
01:20:21,401 --> 01:20:23,904
Honestly, I completely forgot about
the dart in your face. Are you OK?

1535
01:20:24,070 --> 01:20:25,911
- He's had a really rough night too.
- Shut up!

1536
01:20:25,989 --> 01:20:28,617
Come on, Randy! Do what I said,
fuck me in the ass, Randy!

1537
01:20:29,951 --> 01:20:31,870
What?

1538
01:20:32,370 --> 01:20:34,623
I mean, fuck them in the ass!
Just...

1539
01:20:34,789 --> 01:20:38,710
- What...
- The hell is going on here?

1540
01:20:38,877 --> 01:20:40,003
- Oh, shit.
- Fuck.

1541
01:20:40,170 --> 01:20:42,797
- Who the fuck is this guy?
- Hey.

1542
01:20:42,964 --> 01:20:45,675
I'm Jeffrey's father.
Who the fuck are you?

1543
01:20:46,801 --> 01:20:47,928
I'm Randy.

1544
01:20:48,094 --> 01:20:49,930
- He's Randy.
- That's Randy.

1545
01:20:51,640 --> 01:20:55,101
OK, Randy... I'm here to take my son
to his interview.

1546
01:20:55,268 --> 01:20:58,308
Well, he's not going with you, so why
don't you just get the fuck outta here?

1547
01:20:59,189 --> 01:21:03,109
Oh, no, he's definitely
coming with me.

1548
01:21:03,276 --> 01:21:04,319
Oh, shit.

1549
01:21:04,486 --> 01:21:07,864
Look, old man... don't make me
beat you in front of your son.

1550
01:21:08,031 --> 01:21:09,115
I wouldn't do that.

1551
01:21:12,494 --> 01:21:14,079
- Holy shit!
- Shit!

1552
01:21:15,789 --> 01:21:17,457
That's what fucking happens, man.

1553
01:21:17,624 --> 01:21:20,877
Oh, your dad's a dick.
Oh, my arm.

1554
01:21:21,044 --> 01:21:21,920
You should probably stay down.

1555
01:21:22,087 --> 01:21:23,129
Let's go!

1556
01:21:24,965 --> 01:21:27,300
OK, you need to tell him that you
don't want to be a doctor right now.

1557
01:21:27,467 --> 01:21:28,927
I don't think this is a good time.

1558
01:21:29,094 --> 01:21:30,814
- Just fucking tell him.
- No. You tell him.

1559
01:21:30,929 --> 01:21:31,972
- No, no, no.
- I'm not fucking telling him.

1560
01:21:32,138 --> 01:21:33,598
- You fucking tell him.
- You fucking tell him.

1561
01:21:33,765 --> 01:21:35,517
- You're not a pussy.
- I am a pussy.

1562
01:21:35,684 --> 01:21:37,143
- Tell him right now.
- Let's go, Jeffrey.

1563
01:21:37,310 --> 01:21:38,937
Holy shit...

1564
01:21:45,860 --> 01:21:47,362
No, I'm not going.

1565
01:21:47,529 --> 01:21:49,197
What the hell are you talking about?

1566
01:21:49,364 --> 01:21:50,685
I don't want to go to med school.

1567
01:21:50,782 --> 01:21:52,826
- I don't want to be a doctor.
- Jeffrey.

1568
01:21:52,993 --> 01:21:54,633
I'm not...
No, I'm not a kid anymore, Dad.

1569
01:21:54,703 --> 01:21:59,040
I'm 21 years old and...
from here on out,

1570
01:21:59,207 --> 01:22:01,408
I'm gonna decide what I do
with my life and that's that.

1571
01:22:02,502 --> 01:22:05,342
What are you gonna do? Throw me off
a roof? These guys already did that.

1572
01:22:09,259 --> 01:22:10,510
OK.

1573
01:22:12,178 --> 01:22:13,221
I get it.

1574
01:22:14,723 --> 01:22:17,017
- See, I told you he'd understand, man.
- I get it.

1575
01:22:17,183 --> 01:22:19,728
You're even dumber
than I thought.

1576
01:22:19,894 --> 01:22:22,230
- Get in the goddamn car, Jeffrey.
- No. No.

1577
01:22:22,397 --> 01:22:25,775
- You ungrateful little shit.
- Dad!

1578
01:22:25,942 --> 01:22:29,029
I can't believe I raised a worthless
piece of shit like you...

1579
01:22:29,195 --> 01:22:30,780
Oh, shit! Dude, what?

1580
01:22:30,947 --> 01:22:32,387
- That's my friend!
- Miller! Miller!

1581
01:22:32,490 --> 01:22:35,243
- That's my friend, dude.
- Just calm down.

1582
01:22:38,079 --> 01:22:39,414
No, Dad.

1583
01:22:41,541 --> 01:22:42,917
Why don't you just leave?

1584
01:22:44,461 --> 01:22:45,795
Just leave.

1585
01:22:47,881 --> 01:22:49,049
Now.

1586
01:22:58,642 --> 01:23:00,143
Yeah,

1587
01:23:00,310 --> 01:23:01,710
you just punched
my dad in the face.

1588
01:23:01,811 --> 01:23:04,105
I know. It felt good, though.

1589
01:23:07,400 --> 01:23:08,735
Hey, man.

1590
01:23:11,279 --> 01:23:13,031
My dad's a dick, too.

1591
01:23:13,198 --> 01:23:16,242
I... I'm sorry I broke
your apartment.

1592
01:23:18,161 --> 01:23:19,412
What the fuck is this?

1593
01:23:22,666 --> 01:23:24,459
Just listen to your heart.

1594
01:23:26,044 --> 01:23:29,589
- Listen to your heart.
- Yeah. All right, man. OK.

1595
01:23:32,467 --> 01:23:35,762
- Nice apology, Randy.
- That was heartfelt, Randy.

1596
01:23:37,097 --> 01:23:39,224
See ya, guys!

1597
01:23:40,892 --> 01:23:43,311
- Who are those guys?
- Those guys are the weirdest guys.

1598
01:23:43,478 --> 01:23:45,063
- They're so weird.
- Yeah.

1599
01:23:47,982 --> 01:23:50,694
- Dude, another good birthday.
- Yeah.

1600
01:23:50,860 --> 01:23:53,238
Yeah.

1601
01:23:53,405 --> 01:23:55,281
So, what are you gonna do now?

1602
01:23:55,448 --> 01:23:58,618
God, I don't know. You know,
I can do whatever the fuck I want.

1603
01:23:58,785 --> 01:24:02,205
You know, for once in my life, I don't
have to do what other people tell me.

1604
01:24:03,707 --> 01:24:07,085
I'm just gonna travel
and write music again and...

1605
01:24:07,252 --> 01:24:09,838
Fuck it. You know,
I'm just gonna live my life.

1606
01:24:10,672 --> 01:24:11,673
Yeah.

1607
01:24:13,550 --> 01:24:15,051
I'm glad you guys came.

1608
01:24:15,218 --> 01:24:17,095
Seriously, thanks for
being such good friends.

1609
01:24:17,262 --> 01:24:18,471
Yeah, dude.

1610
01:24:19,931 --> 01:24:21,307
Me and Casey will always
be there for you.

1611
01:24:21,474 --> 01:24:24,394
- I gotta go.
- What?

1612
01:24:24,561 --> 01:24:28,690
- Sorry, just... I'll call you.
- Yeah, way to ruin the moment, dick!

1613
01:24:28,857 --> 01:24:33,445
Love you guys! Good job standing
up to your dad, Jeff Chang!

1614
01:24:33,611 --> 01:24:36,322
My fucking dick hurts.

1615
01:24:46,791 --> 01:24:50,044
Nicole, Nicole! Wait, wait.
No, no, no! Stop, stop!

1616
01:24:50,211 --> 01:24:51,546
Don't go! Don't...

1617
01:24:51,713 --> 01:24:54,382
God damn it! Fuck.

1618
01:24:58,219 --> 01:24:59,387
Fuck.

1619
01:25:01,389 --> 01:25:03,641
Why are you yelling
at my roommate?

1620
01:25:06,811 --> 01:25:07,812
But...

1621
01:25:09,731 --> 01:25:12,442
- Hey.
- I lent her my car while I'm traveling.

1622
01:25:13,610 --> 01:25:15,737
That's great.

1623
01:25:17,864 --> 01:25:20,533
Was there something
you wanted to ask me?

1624
01:25:20,700 --> 01:25:22,869
Yes. Yeah.

1625
01:26:23,555 --> 01:26:27,183
<i>God, look at all these freaks.
I love this!</i>

1626
01:26:27,350 --> 01:26:29,018
All right, guys, but seriously,
tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.,

1627
01:26:29,185 --> 01:26:30,854
I have my big admissions
interview at Northern.

1628
01:26:31,020 --> 01:26:32,260
So don't let me get too stupid.

1629
01:26:32,939 --> 01:26:34,607
I'm so psyched you're
going back to college, dude.

1630
01:26:34,774 --> 01:26:35,984
- Yeah.
- But seriously,

1631
01:26:36,150 --> 01:26:39,445
don't let me get too messed up.
It's really important to me.

1632
01:26:39,612 --> 01:26:41,281
- Of course, man.
- OK.

1633
01:26:41,447 --> 01:26:42,615
- We'll take care of you, dude.
- Yeah.

1634
01:26:42,782 --> 01:26:44,367
- OK.
- Yeah.

1635
01:26:44,534 --> 01:26:46,327
You're our little baby tonight.

1636
01:26:57,964 --> 01:27:00,216
Shit, shit, shit!

1637
01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:02,385
Shit, I am so fucking late!

1638
01:27:04,470 --> 01:27:07,849
I am so sorry that I'm late,
this is not like me.

1639
01:27:08,016 --> 01:27:09,475
This is actually
very unprofessional.

1640
01:27:09,642 --> 01:27:12,020
You would not believe
what happened to me last night.

1641
01:27:12,186 --> 01:27:15,857
I've been taking my academics really
serious lately so this is a shock to me.

1642
01:27:16,024 --> 01:27:18,818
But I'm very serious about this
university, I want you to know that.

1643
01:27:18,985 --> 01:27:22,530
- You know, I'm just trying to...
- Hey, man, how you doin'?

1644
01:27:22,697 --> 01:27:26,367
No way. Oh, my God! Chief!

1645
01:27:26,534 --> 01:27:29,746
Dude, you look like shit!