1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,608
Heads up! Good defense!

3
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,235
Good defense!

4
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,950
Hmm!

5
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,099
Oh.

6
00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:06,918
We're going downtown.

7
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,306
Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt.

8
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,099
What do you want?

9
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:26,229
HDS, sir. How are you this afternoon?
Alrighty, then. I have a package for you.

10
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,775
It sounds broken.

11
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:35,739
Most likely. I'll bet it was something nice.
This is an insurance form.

12
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,158
If you'll just sign here, here, and here...

13
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:41,494
...initial here, we'll get the rest of the forms
to you as soon as we can.

14
00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,334
That's a lovely dog you have there, sir.

15
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,045
- Do you mind if I pet him?
- I don't give a rat's ass.

16
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,047
Alrighty, then.

17
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,768
Oh, brother.

18
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:07,020
That's fine. I can finish the rest.

19
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:10,857
You just have yourself a good day.
Take care now. Bye-bye, then.

20
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,330
Excuse me! HDS!

21
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,415
HDS! Coming through!

22
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,084
Got a package, people!

23
00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,058
Get away from the door.

24
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,106
What's the matter with you? I said, get!

25
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:57,737
Son of a bitch!

26
00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:00,949
That was a close one!

27
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,283
Unfortunately...

28
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,870
...in every contest, there must be a loser.

29
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,833
Loser.

30
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:18,675
Hungry, fella?

31
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,681
There you go.

32
00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:32,480
No problem. It gets flooded.
We'll just wait a few seconds.

33
00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:35,733
Or we can try it now.

34
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,068
Putz!

35
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,361
Come on!

36
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,864
Get out! Get out!

37
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,661
Warning: Assholes
are closer than they appear!

38
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,543
Uh, you wanna give me a push
while you're back there?

39
00:04:55,588 --> 00:04:57,672
Alrighty, then!

40
00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:02,343
Ha, ha! It's alive!

41
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,262
It's alive!

42
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:52,644
My little baby, come here.
You missed Mommy, didn't you?

43
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:57,315
Yes, you did. Did Daddy hurt you?
I won't let him. No, I won't.

44
00:05:57,942 --> 00:06:02,654
He can keep the big TV, but he's not
gonna hurt my baby, no he's not.

45
00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:08,368
Thank you, Mr. Ventura.

46
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,164
How can I ever repay you?

47
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,749
A reward would be good.

48
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,045
There is some damage to my car,
and I had to fill it with premium.

49
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:25,593
Would you like for me
to take your pants off instead?

50
00:06:26,971 --> 00:06:29,639
Gee, let me think.

51
00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:31,224
Sure.

52
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,395
Whoa, jeez.

53
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,398
Oh. For the love of Pete!

54
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:43,152
People are real friendly around here. Whoa!

55
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:21,542
And now, let's meet our contestants.

56
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,252
First...

57
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,687
Ventura!

58
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,399
Yes, Satan?

59
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:48,444
I'm sorry, sir.
You sounded like someone else.

60
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:51,239
Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura.

61
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,243
You owe me rent.

62
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:58,579
Mr. Shickadance, I told you,
you're my first priority.

63
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:02,375
I'm on a very big case right now.
Check this out.

64
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,420
Look at that.
That's a true albino pigeon.

65
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:09,006
Some rich guy lost it.
He's offering a $25,000 reward.

66
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,217
As soon as I find this bird...

67
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,385
...you're paid.

68
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,096
I heard animals in there.

69
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,141
I heard them again this morning,
scratching around.

70
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,393
I never bring my work home with me.

71
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:21,936
Oh, yeah?

72
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,981
What's all this pet food for?

73
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,734
Fiber.

74
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,820
Wanna take a look inside? Come on!

75
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,780
Come on!

76
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,170
Go ahead. Snoop around!

77
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,434
Well?

78
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,394
Are you satisfied?

79
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:10,234
Just don't let me catch you
with an animal in here. That's all.

80
00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:11,736
All right.

81
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,280
Take care, now. Bye-bye, then.

82
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,533
Loser!

83
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,479
Come to me, jungle friends.

84
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,539
Roger, let me ask you one question.

85
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,458
How in hell do you lose a 500-pound fish?

86
00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:10,378
What?

87
00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:12,505
I'm sorry, I was just going to say...

88
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,550
...that it's not a fish. It's a mammal.

89
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,301
Thank you, Miss Jacques Cousteau.

90
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,054
Don, she didn't mean anything by that.

91
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:23,599
I don't give a good goddamn
about that fish!

92
00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:26,227
Fillet it and fast-food it if you want to!

93
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,814
All I give a damn about
is winning the Super Bowl!

94
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,693
My athletes have got to have
their heads in the right place.

95
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:38,114
Shit, Roger. You've been
in this business a long time.

96
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:41,367
You know how superstitious
these players are.

97
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:46,080
I have a quarterback that's put his
socks on backwards since high school.

98
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:50,418
I've got a linebacker that hasn't washed
his jockey strap in two years...

99
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:53,379
...because he thinks flies are lucky.

100
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:57,341
I want that fish on that field
Super Bowl Sunday.

101
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,093
Find the fish...

102
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,012
...or find new jobs!

103
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:04,140
Why did it happen now,
two weeks before the Super Bowl?

104
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:07,310
I'll tell you, it's those animal-rights activists!

105
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,270
Always out with their signs:

106
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,440
"Animals were born free.
Stop torturing Snowflake. "

107
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,734
That fish lives better than they do.

108
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:19,614
The police are checking into the animal-
rights groups. Have they called back?

109
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:23,117
No, but I wanted to tell you,
when I lost my Cuddles...

110
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,161
...I hired a pet detective.

111
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:26,746
A what?

112
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,498
A pet detective.

113
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,878
Thanks, Martha, but we better
leave this to professionals.

114
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,297
Well, actually, he was quite good.

115
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:41,177
Pet detection is a very involved,
highly scientific process.

116
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,400
Like a glove.

117
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,745
Uh, Mr. Ventura here to see you.

118
00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:51,831
Thanks, Martha.

119
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,624
Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson.

120
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,126
Pleasure to meet you.

121
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,253
Any trouble getting in?

122
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:01,716
No, the guy with the rubber glove
was surprisingly gentle.

123
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:05,511
- Uh, security's tight Super Bowl week.
- Ah.

124
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,472
Why don't you have a seat?
I'll get right to the point.

125
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:13,811
Our mascot was stolen from his tank last
night. Are you familiar with Snowflake?

126
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,229
Negative.

127
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,108
We got him from Miami.
He's a rare bottle-nosed dolphin.

128
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:22,653
This is a new trick he was
going to do for the halftime show.

129
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:26,115
Let's go. Blue 42, blue 42.

130
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,533
Hut, hut.

131
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:32,747
All right.

132
00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,128
Come on, let's go.

133
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,634
Good boy.

134
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,519
Would you like an ashtray?

135
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:58,481
I don't smoke.

136
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,816
It's a disgusting habit.

137
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,199
The police came today.

138
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,619
Apparently, the kidnappers
came in through the back with a-

139
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,039
Four-wheel-drive van,
loaded from the rear.

140
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:18,042
- Ugh.
- Roger, how you holding up?

141
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:22,296
If I'm walking funny it's because
I got two dozen reporters up my ass.

142
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:25,591
They've been asking me
about Snowflake all morning.

143
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,845
Who's he?

144
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,515
Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura.

145
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,600
He's our pet detective.

146
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:39,688
Nice to meet you. You came very
highly recommended by Martha Mertz.

147
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,315
Martha Mertz?

148
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,151
Oh, yeah, the bitch.

149
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,361
What?

150
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:50,074
Pekingese, lost in Highland Park area.
She was half-dead when I found her.

151
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,659
Is that the tank?

152
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,702
Excuse me.

153
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,132
- Cops drain it?
- Yes, this morning.

154
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,177
If I'm not back in five minutes...

155
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,887
...just wait longer.

156
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,364
Captain's log, stardate 23.9...

157
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,992
...rounded off to the nearest decimal point.

158
00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:38,414
We've traveled back in time to save
an ancient species from annihilation.

159
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:39,790
So far...

160
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,295
...no signs of aquatic life,
but I am going to find it.

161
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,756
If I have to tear another black hole,
I'm going to find it.

162
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:51,552
I've got to, mister.

163
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,940
Oh, great.

164
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,151
I'll try to head them off.

165
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,361
Ace, get out of the tank.

166
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,238
I just can't do it, captain.

167
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,407
I don't have the power.

168
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,161
People.

169
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,747
I said, get out of the tank now.

170
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:23,626
For God's sake, Jim,
I'm a doctor, not a pool man.

171
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,294
Where's Snowflake?

172
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,505
Snowflake is not available right now.

173
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:33,177
Roger, I've been waiting all day.
I got to get a shot of his new trick.

174
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:34,929
What, is he sick?

175
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,030
People, people.

176
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,078
Hmm.

177
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,110
Lassie must be missing.

178
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,239
Hey, Ventura. Ventura.

179
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,366
Make any good collars lately?

180
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,326
Or were they leashes?

181
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,583
Uh-oh.

182
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,713
Homicide, Ventura.

183
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,300
How are you gonna solve that one?

184
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,680
Good question, Aguado.

185
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,348
First, I'd establish a motive.

186
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:06,312
The killer saw the size of the bug's dick
and became insanely jealous.

187
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,105
Ooh.

188
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:13,360
Then I'd lose 30 pounds porking his wife.

189
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,821
Come on.

190
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,783
Now, kiss and make up.

191
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,372
Excuse me.

192
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,125
I'd like to ass you a few questions.

193
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,169
This is not the time, Ace.

194
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:35,007
If Einhorn come down here and see me
talking to you or your ass, I'm history.

195
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:40,387
I can keep him under control. You have
to tell me who's on the Snowflake case.

196
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:44,058
I can't do nothing for you on that.
My hands are tied.

197
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,644
All right, that's it. Now it's my turn.

198
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:50,314
Five minutes alone, that's all I need.

199
00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:53,317
Better look alive.
Einhorn's on her way down.

200
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,070
- Ooh, bom, ba-bom bom.
- Come on, now. Ace, please.

201
00:19:56,321 --> 00:20:00,449
What's that matter?
Afraid I'll make a stink? Huh? Come on.

202
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,910
Aguado's working the case, all right?

203
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,079
- Aguado.
- Aguado?

204
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,830
Good call.

205
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,166
We're just a little busy now...

206
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:13,253
...with murderers and burglaries
and drug dealers. Things like that.

207
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,465
A missing dolphin isn't exactly
a high priority.

208
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,054
Now you've pissed him off.

209
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:26,475
- Would you give me a break?
- I can't hold him much longer.

210
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,726
My boss is coming.

211
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,854
Okay, look.

212
00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:33,816
We ran a check with local
animal-rights groups.

213
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:38,195
We checked out the taxidermists
and we already checked on van rentals.

214
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,657
So far, nothing, nathin', nada. All right?

215
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,159
Any unusual bets being made?

216
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,412
Of course. This is Super Bowl.

217
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:49,248
- What'd you find out about the tank?
- Nothing.

218
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,709
Tire tracks, an escape route.
A guard didn't see anything.

219
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:55,462
- That's it?
- I swear.

220
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,924
Now will you please get out of here
before I get in trouble?

221
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,096
Thank you for your cooperation.

222
00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:07,307
By the way, do you have a mint?

223
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,768
Perhaps some Binaca?

224
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,700
Assholomio

225
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,786
Osadomia

226
00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:34,376
Holy testicle Tuesday.

227
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:37,713
What the hell is he doing here?

228
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,548
I came to confess.

229
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,302
I was the second gunman
on the grassy knoll.

230
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:48,474
Spare me the routine. I know
you're working the Snowflake case.

231
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:52,644
May I suggest you yield
to the experts on this one?

232
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:55,105
We'll find the porpoise.

233
00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:57,649
Phew.

234
00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,568
Now I feel better.

235
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:03,947
Of course, that might not do any good.

236
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:07,701
Nobody's missing a porpoise.
It's a dolphin that's been taken.

237
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:10,621
The common harbor porpoise
has an abrupt snout...

238
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:14,917
...while the bottle-nosed dolphin,
or Tursiops truncatus...

239
00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:19,630
...has an elongated beak, cone-shaped
teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage.

240
00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:22,591
But I'm sure you already knew that.

241
00:22:22,926 --> 00:22:25,177
That's what turns me on about you.

242
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,012
Your attention to detail.

243
00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,598
Listen, pet dick...

244
00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:33,810
...how would you like me
to make your life a living hell?

245
00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:38,148
Well, I'm not really ready
for a relationship, Lois.

246
00:22:38,441 --> 00:22:40,359
But thank you for asking.

247
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:46,907
Maybe I'll give you a call sometime.

248
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:48,492
Your number still 911?

249
00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:50,577
Alrighty, then.

250
00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:32,035
Excuse me. Is Greg here?

251
00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:34,246
Thank you.

252
00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:56,935
What's the password?

253
00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:59,771
New England clam chowder.

254
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:02,941
Is that the red or the white?

255
00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:06,111
I can never remember that.

256
00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:08,280
White?

257
00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:13,702
Hey, Woodstock.

258
00:24:13,870 --> 00:24:15,871
Hey, Saint Francis, how's it going?

259
00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:19,583
Super, thanks for asking.
I hope you're having a lovely day.

260
00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:20,834
Do you?

261
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:22,294
Don't I?

262
00:24:23,254 --> 00:24:25,297
So what are you up to?

263
00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:28,091
Just watching the fishies.

264
00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:31,511
You see those blips?
That's a Norwegian whaling fleet.

265
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:35,599
I'm sending them new
directional coordinates.

266
00:24:36,059 --> 00:24:38,060
They'll find Jimmy Hoffa...

267
00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,103
...before they find any whales.

268
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:44,941
Ha, ha. Gravy. So can you still tap into
the aquatic supply stores in the area?

269
00:24:45,193 --> 00:24:46,526
Of course I can. Why?

270
00:24:46,778 --> 00:24:48,945
I wanna trace the sale of equipment...

271
00:24:49,197 --> 00:24:52,115
...for transporting or housing
a dolphin recently.

272
00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:55,452
Come on, I thought you had
a challenge for me.

273
00:24:55,745 --> 00:25:00,457
All right, we got marine winch, sling,
feeder fish, 20,000-gallon tank-

274
00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,752
Wait a minute. Look here.

275
00:25:04,587 --> 00:25:07,881
That's a lot of equipment for a civilian.

276
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:10,008
Ronald Camp? The billionaire?

277
00:25:10,259 --> 00:25:12,678
Billionaire and rare-fish collector.

278
00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:16,723
Really?

279
00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:18,975
That is the face of the enemy.

280
00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:22,979
Always trying to get his greedy hands
on endangered species.

281
00:25:23,731 --> 00:25:24,731
Hold on.

282
00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:26,817
Camp is connected with the dolphins?

283
00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:30,696
That subgenius gave them the land
the stadium's built on.

284
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:36,118
And look, he's throwing another "I'm
the richest man in the universe" party.

285
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:38,328
Hmm.

286
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:42,124
Looks like it's time for me
to get myself a date.

287
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:52,759
I'm really going out on a limb here.
His social events are strictly A list.

288
00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:58,014
The date started good, Chuck, but before
we got to the party, she tensed up.

289
00:25:58,558 --> 00:26:00,767
If you do anything to embarrass me...

290
00:26:01,018 --> 00:26:02,894
What? Like this?

291
00:26:08,025 --> 00:26:10,944
Ow. Hi, Captain Stubing.

292
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:12,779
How are Gopher and Doc?

293
00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:15,490
Permission to come aboard, sir.

294
00:26:18,619 --> 00:26:20,036
Woof.

295
00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:36,636
I'm sorry, ladies.

296
00:26:36,888 --> 00:26:38,472
Melissa.

297
00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:41,433
- Hi, Ron.
- Glad you could make it.

298
00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:43,185
Thank you.

299
00:26:44,604 --> 00:26:45,812
You look wonderful.

300
00:26:46,022 --> 00:26:47,355
Oh, thanks.

301
00:26:47,982 --> 00:26:49,775
And who is he, a friend?

302
00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:53,945
No, this is- This is my date.

303
00:26:55,740 --> 00:26:57,532
He's a lawyer.

304
00:26:57,784 --> 00:27:00,911
Does he have a name,
or should I call him "Lawyer"?

305
00:27:01,078 --> 00:27:04,539
Ha, ha. Hoo. Ha, ha.

306
00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:06,833
I'm sorry. This is Ace V-

307
00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:10,587
- Um, Tom Ace.
- Tom Ace.

308
00:27:10,797 --> 00:27:12,214
Pleasure to meet you.

309
00:27:12,423 --> 00:27:14,424
Congratulations on all your success.

310
00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:16,176
You smell terrific.

311
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:19,346
One of the first lessons we learned...

312
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:20,680
...back at...

313
00:27:20,932 --> 00:27:26,061
...Stanford was the growth of food-poisoning
claims against wealthy people.

314
00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:29,648
One could make quite
a lucrative law practice...

315
00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:31,107
...with little else.

316
00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:35,403
How is everybody feeling tonight?

317
00:27:36,197 --> 00:27:38,198
Very, very well, thank you.

318
00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:40,283
Look, honey...

319
00:27:40,535 --> 00:27:42,285
...there's the hors d'oeuvres.

320
00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:44,788
Excuse me.

321
00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:53,171
Are you insane? There is no way
that Camp stole Snowflake.

322
00:27:53,714 --> 00:27:55,757
What are you trying to do?

323
00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:03,515
Will you keep him occupied
while I work my magic, please?

324
00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:11,022
Smooshy, isn't it?

325
00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:23,702
We got a few cases
from my new dealer in Paris.

326
00:28:24,787 --> 00:28:26,288
Excuse me, Ron...

327
00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:28,540
...I, uh, need to use the bathroom.

328
00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:31,001
I think it's the pâté.

329
00:28:31,252 --> 00:28:32,627
Sure, it's over there.

330
00:28:32,795 --> 00:28:36,882
Thanks. Ha, ha.
Stuff probably looks better on the way out.

331
00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:41,052
Oh, God.

332
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:46,850
He wasn't feeling well earlier today.

333
00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:27,200
Gravy.

334
00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:32,497
Don't worry, Snowflake.

335
00:30:32,748 --> 00:30:34,457
Ace Ventura's here.

336
00:30:37,795 --> 00:30:39,087
Yummy.

337
00:30:58,315 --> 00:30:59,607
Snowflake.

338
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:02,777
Here, Snowflake.

339
00:31:04,113 --> 00:31:06,114
I've got a snack for you.

340
00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:22,338
They're wonderful, aren't they?

341
00:31:23,049 --> 00:31:25,050
Yes, they certainly are.

342
00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:28,094
No matter what's going on in my life...

343
00:31:28,345 --> 00:31:30,388
...I can always watch them swim...

344
00:31:30,723 --> 00:31:33,058
...and be totally at peace.

345
00:31:40,483 --> 00:31:42,067
It's not Snowflake.

346
00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:44,527
It's not Snowflake.

347
00:31:46,030 --> 00:31:48,698
It's not Snowflake.

348
00:32:07,510 --> 00:32:09,594
Are you sure your date is all right?

349
00:32:09,845 --> 00:32:11,721
It's been an awfully long time.

350
00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:13,306
Who, Tom?

351
00:32:13,557 --> 00:32:15,809
Well, I'm sure he's fine.

352
00:32:26,529 --> 00:32:28,530
Do not go in there.

353
00:32:29,198 --> 00:32:30,782
Whoo!

354
00:32:42,378 --> 00:32:46,089
I'm sorry. I'll have the plumbing
checked immediately.

355
00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:50,426
Do that. If I'd been drinking out
of the toilet, I might've been killed.

356
00:32:50,678 --> 00:32:52,804
I'm sorry again, Mr. Ace.

357
00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:00,103
What're you doing?

358
00:33:00,354 --> 00:33:01,855
I'm sorry, Ron.

359
00:33:02,106 --> 00:33:03,439
What's he doing?

360
00:33:03,691 --> 00:33:05,066
Let's go.

361
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:09,946
Stop it.

362
00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:14,200
I don't even wanna know
why your pants are missing.

363
00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:16,244
You could've cost me my job.

364
00:33:16,954 --> 00:33:20,540
So you found a pebble
in Snowflake's tank. I'll call CNN.

365
00:33:20,791 --> 00:33:22,959
I found it in the filter, thank you.

366
00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:27,672
And it's not a pebble, it's a rare,
triangular cut orange amber.

367
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:31,050
What're you talking about?

368
00:33:31,302 --> 00:33:34,512
Tonight I saw the same stone
in Camp's ring.

369
00:33:34,805 --> 00:33:36,890
I thought you said Camp didn't do it.

370
00:33:37,141 --> 00:33:39,559
No, his ring wasn't missing a stone.

371
00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:42,770
But whoever was in that tank
had a ring just like his.

372
00:33:42,980 --> 00:33:44,856
Ring? What ring?

373
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:50,862
The 1984 Dolphin AFC championship ring.

374
00:33:52,656 --> 00:33:56,576
I find the ring with a missing stone,
I find Snowflake.

375
00:33:57,745 --> 00:33:59,495
How you gonna do that?

376
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:02,874
Simple.

377
00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:13,551
Loser.
Why don't you learn how to drive, pal?

378
00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:16,846
You wanna play?

379
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:19,766
Whoo, whoo!

380
00:34:26,774 --> 00:34:28,066
Damn it.

381
00:36:51,502 --> 00:36:53,586
That stone could've come from anywhere.

382
00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:55,505
It could've come from...

383
00:36:55,756 --> 00:36:58,716
...a necklace or a pendant, an earring.

384
00:36:59,009 --> 00:37:03,262
It came from an '84 AFC
championship ring.

385
00:37:07,351 --> 00:37:12,230
Einhorn thinks it may have been
an animal-rights group. You know FAN?

386
00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:17,652
Free Animals Now, started by Chelsea,
daughter of industrialist Fisher Gamble?

387
00:37:17,861 --> 00:37:19,904
Over half a million members worldwide?

388
00:37:20,114 --> 00:37:22,031
No. Who are they?

389
00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:23,950
Did you know...

390
00:37:24,201 --> 00:37:28,496
...they sent letters to college teams
demanding the release of their mascots?

391
00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:30,248
What do you feed your dog?

392
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,043
Dog food. Why?

393
00:37:34,253 --> 00:37:35,711
He is miserable.

394
00:37:36,255 --> 00:37:37,672
What are you talking about?

395
00:37:37,881 --> 00:37:41,884
He's very unhappy. I feel sorry for him.
Bad diet, isolated environment.

396
00:37:42,136 --> 00:37:44,220
It's amazing he's still alive.

397
00:37:46,140 --> 00:37:50,476
You're just mad because your stupid
pebble theory didn't work out.

398
00:37:50,686 --> 00:37:52,103
You can't express anger.

399
00:37:52,855 --> 00:37:54,939
Yeah? And you're ugly.

400
00:37:56,733 --> 00:37:59,819
I'm not even gonna talk to you.
Would you please leave?

401
00:38:00,028 --> 00:38:01,904
Why? So you can beat him?

402
00:38:02,156 --> 00:38:03,197
Fatty.

403
00:38:03,365 --> 00:38:04,657
Heh. You're unbelievable.

404
00:38:06,034 --> 00:38:07,910
Hiring you was the biggest mistake
I ever made.

405
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,997
Well, why don't you cry about it,
saddlebags?

406
00:38:15,961 --> 00:38:17,503
You like her, huh?

407
00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:20,047
Yeah, she's all right.

408
00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:23,634
Melissa.

409
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,684
Look, Melissa, I, uh...

410
00:38:35,355 --> 00:38:39,567
I'm here at the North Beach
Towers condo complex in north Miami...

411
00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:43,488
...where Roger Podacter, head of
operations for the Miami Dolphins...

412
00:38:43,739 --> 00:38:45,823
...has apparently committed suicide...

413
00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:49,869
...allegedly leaping to his death
from his 20th-story balcony...

414
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,956
Lieutenant Einhorn of the Miami Police
Department has yet to comment.

415
00:38:58,921 --> 00:39:00,379
You okay?

416
00:39:00,756 --> 00:39:03,216
I told you. I was in my apartment...

417
00:39:03,425 --> 00:39:05,218
- ... across the hall.
Yes, ma'am.

418
00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:07,011
- I heard a scream...
- Uh-huh.

419
00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:09,222
...so I called the manager.

420
00:39:09,765 --> 00:39:13,142
The place was empty, except for the dog.

421
00:39:13,352 --> 00:39:15,895
I opened the balcony door
and looked out...

422
00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:18,272
...splat, bang, pancake time.

423
00:39:18,524 --> 00:39:19,857
Okay, thank you very much.

424
00:39:20,025 --> 00:39:24,070
I'm gonna leave one of my cards.
If you remember anything else, give me a call.

425
00:39:25,906 --> 00:39:27,281
Hi there, fella.

426
00:39:27,533 --> 00:39:28,950
Have a bad night?

427
00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:41,003
So...

428
00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:43,464
...animals can sense evil.

429
00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:45,550
Who let Dr. Doolittle in?

430
00:39:45,801 --> 00:39:48,302
Lieutenant, he came with Miss Robinson.

431
00:39:48,554 --> 00:39:52,598
This is police business. We'll let you
know if the coroner finds a tick.

432
00:39:56,228 --> 00:39:59,480
Face it-
- E, forget it. She's right.

433
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:00,731
Besides...

434
00:40:00,983 --> 00:40:05,486
...I wouldn't want someone tracing
my steps, pointing out my mistakes.

435
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:21,335
So...

436
00:40:21,587 --> 00:40:25,381
...you don't think this is an obvious suicide,
Mr. Pet-Detective?

437
00:40:25,966 --> 00:40:30,261
I wouldn't say that. There's plenty
of evidence here to support your theory.

438
00:40:30,512 --> 00:40:33,806
Except, of course, for that
spot of blood on the railing.

439
00:40:38,687 --> 00:40:40,938
May I tell you what I think happened?

440
00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:42,565
Alrighty, then.

441
00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:46,444
Roger Podacter went out after work,
had a few drinks, then came home.

442
00:40:46,695 --> 00:40:50,489
He wasn't alone. Someone else
was with him. There was a struggle...

443
00:40:50,699 --> 00:40:53,284
...and he was thrown over that balcony.

444
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:55,995
Roger Podacter didn't commit suicide.

445
00:40:56,371 --> 00:40:57,997
He was murdered.

446
00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:02,043
That's a very entertaining story...

447
00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:06,505
...but real detectives have to worry
about that little thing called...

448
00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:08,299
...evidence.

449
00:41:09,426 --> 00:41:12,720
Uh-oh. I think I heard a toilet flush.

450
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:15,264
Maybe somebody lost a turtle.

451
00:41:18,852 --> 00:41:20,394
Well, I...

452
00:41:21,021 --> 00:41:23,356
I guess I'm out of my league here.

453
00:41:24,316 --> 00:41:25,316
Einhorn...

454
00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:27,068
Good work.

455
00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:29,820
Ooh. Ow.

456
00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:38,329
Oh, there is just
one more thing, lieutenant.

457
00:41:39,122 --> 00:41:42,083
This woman is Roger Podacter's neighbor.

458
00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:44,627
- She said she heard a scream. Right?
- Right.

459
00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:47,838
And you had to open
the balcony door when you came in?

460
00:41:48,090 --> 00:41:51,592
- That's true.
- You're sure you had to open this door?

461
00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:52,843
I'm certain.

462
00:41:53,095 --> 00:41:55,096
What's the point, Ventura?

463
00:41:55,806 --> 00:41:57,723
Only this.

464
00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:13,823
This is double-paned, soundproof glass.
There is no way...

465
00:42:14,074 --> 00:42:17,660
...she could have heard
Podacter scream on the way down.

466
00:42:17,911 --> 00:42:20,246
The scream she heard
came from inside...

467
00:42:20,497 --> 00:42:25,376
...before he was thrown off the balcony.
The murderer closed the door upon going.

468
00:42:26,128 --> 00:42:28,212
Yes. Oh, yeah.

469
00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:30,548
Can you feel that, buddy?

470
00:42:30,716 --> 00:42:32,550
Huh, huh, huh?

471
00:42:32,718 --> 00:42:36,887
I have exorcized the demons.

472
00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:41,600
This house is clear.

473
00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:44,645
- Losers.
Get him out of here!

474
00:42:45,230 --> 00:42:48,399
- Losers. Losers.
- Let's go, Ace.

475
00:42:49,109 --> 00:42:51,402
Losers.

476
00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:53,904
Come on.

477
00:42:54,114 --> 00:42:55,906
Back to the zoo.

478
00:42:59,161 --> 00:43:00,661
What are you thinking?

479
00:43:01,455 --> 00:43:03,748
This whole thing is connected, somehow.

480
00:43:04,458 --> 00:43:06,876
I want to find that other ring.

481
00:43:08,795 --> 00:43:10,963
Ace, you checked all the rings.

482
00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:13,382
Receipts? What about receipts?

483
00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,301
There's gotta be receipts.

484
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:27,772
That was pretty impressive,
what you did at the apartment.

485
00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:30,191
You don't have to tell me.

486
00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:32,193
I was there.

487
00:43:34,279 --> 00:43:38,157
Maybe you should've joined the police force,
become a real detective.

488
00:43:38,408 --> 00:43:40,326
I don't do humans.

489
00:43:42,621 --> 00:43:44,246
You really love animals.

490
00:43:46,041 --> 00:43:47,750
If it gets cold enough.

491
00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:52,296
No, I have a kinship with them.

492
00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:54,048
I, uh, understand them.

493
00:43:56,051 --> 00:43:57,968
Wanna hear something spooky?

494
00:43:58,178 --> 00:43:59,428
Sure.

495
00:44:02,140 --> 00:44:06,477
One time when I was about 12,
I had a dream that I was being followed by...

496
00:44:06,728 --> 00:44:08,521
...a big dog with rabies.

497
00:44:08,772 --> 00:44:10,689
He had these bloodshot eyes...

498
00:44:10,899 --> 00:44:12,733
...and foam came out of his mouth.

499
00:44:13,151 --> 00:44:18,072
No matter how fast I ran, he just kept
gaining on me and gaining on me.

500
00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:23,160
Then just before I got to my front door...

501
00:44:23,495 --> 00:44:25,996
...he jumped and sank his teeth in.

502
00:44:28,041 --> 00:44:29,917
That's when I woke up...

503
00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:32,753
...and felt the back of my neck.
Check that out.

504
00:44:36,508 --> 00:44:37,842
Bastard.

505
00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:41,846
I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself.

506
00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:44,431
Want to know why I do this?

507
00:44:44,641 --> 00:44:46,392
I'm not sure anymore.

508
00:44:46,601 --> 00:44:48,102
You better be sure...

509
00:44:48,812 --> 00:44:51,313
...because once you get
inside my head...

510
00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,274
...there's no turning back.

511
00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:07,162
So, um, ahem...

512
00:45:07,873 --> 00:45:10,082
Are these all? There's only a dozen.

513
00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:12,418
Maybe it's in another file, in the back.

514
00:45:12,669 --> 00:45:14,295
Who the hell is that?

515
00:45:14,713 --> 00:45:15,963
What?

516
00:45:20,010 --> 00:45:21,302
That.

517
00:45:21,887 --> 00:45:23,888
Who the hell is that?

518
00:45:24,556 --> 00:45:27,975
That's Ray Finkle, the kicker.
Don't you know who he is?

519
00:45:28,268 --> 00:45:29,518
No.

520
00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,520
Why isn't he in this picture?

521
00:45:35,901 --> 00:45:40,821
This was taken earlier in the year.
Ray Finkle wasn't added till mid-season.

522
00:45:46,202 --> 00:45:49,788
He missed the final field goal
in the Super Bowl that year.

523
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:51,665
Cost the Dolphins the game.

524
00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:54,335
But he got himself a ring, didn't he?

525
00:45:55,629 --> 00:45:56,879
Definitely.

526
00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:59,965
"Replacement kicker
having a great year. "

527
00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:02,927
"Ready for Super Bowl,
all-star kicker boasts. "

528
00:46:03,136 --> 00:46:06,513
"Field goal sails wide,
Dolphins lose Super Bowl. "

529
00:46:06,973 --> 00:46:09,600
"The kick heard 'round the world. "

530
00:46:09,851 --> 00:46:13,228
That was Finkle.
The Dolphins lost by one point.

531
00:46:14,481 --> 00:46:17,149
Poor guy.

532
00:46:17,359 --> 00:46:19,652
Poor guy with a motive, baby.

533
00:46:20,028 --> 00:46:21,570
Where is he now?

534
00:46:21,905 --> 00:46:25,032
I heard he went back
to his hometown in Collier County.

535
00:46:25,909 --> 00:46:29,536
Really?

536
00:46:31,706 --> 00:46:33,874
You're gonna drop me off before you go?

537
00:46:34,793 --> 00:46:37,503
No way. You shouldn't be
left alone right now.

538
00:46:37,754 --> 00:46:40,339
It might not be safe at your apartment.

539
00:46:41,049 --> 00:46:42,883
What do you suggest?

540
00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:28,846
Oh, my God.

541
00:47:29,764 --> 00:47:31,390
Oh, my God.

542
00:47:32,851 --> 00:47:34,685
Three times?

543
00:47:35,270 --> 00:47:37,980
I'm sorry, that's never
happened to me before.

544
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,524
I must be tired.

545
00:47:44,029 --> 00:47:45,779
Okay, I'm ready again.

546
00:48:37,082 --> 00:48:39,833
Hi. I'm looking for Ray Finkle...

547
00:48:41,002 --> 00:48:42,878
...and a clean pair of shorts.

548
00:48:43,088 --> 00:48:46,006
What do you know about Ray Finkle?

549
00:48:48,093 --> 00:48:51,220
Soccer-style kicker.
Graduated from Collier High, 1976.

550
00:48:51,471 --> 00:48:55,224
Stetson University honors graduate,
1980. Holds two NCAA records.

551
00:48:55,475 --> 00:48:57,059
Most points and distance.

552
00:48:57,268 --> 00:49:00,145
Nickname, "The Mule. "
The only pro athlete from here.

553
00:49:00,355 --> 00:49:03,232
And one hell of a model American.

554
00:49:09,030 --> 00:49:11,782
Are you another one of them
Hard Copy guys?

555
00:49:12,033 --> 00:49:13,075
No, sir.

556
00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:14,785
I'm just a big Finkle fan.

557
00:49:16,538 --> 00:49:18,789
This is my Graceland, sir.

558
00:49:19,624 --> 00:49:21,708
Will you put that gun down?

559
00:49:22,293 --> 00:49:25,337
The boy is a fan of our son.

560
00:49:26,548 --> 00:49:28,298
So nice to meet you.

561
00:49:28,550 --> 00:49:30,008
I'm Ray's mother...

562
00:49:30,260 --> 00:49:31,969
...and this is Ray's father.

563
00:49:32,679 --> 00:49:34,513
It's a real honor.

564
00:49:35,140 --> 00:49:38,100
It's an honor to have you here.

565
00:49:39,769 --> 00:49:42,688
My Ray is so appreciative of his fans.

566
00:49:42,939 --> 00:49:45,440
He'll be so pleased you stopped by.

567
00:49:45,692 --> 00:49:47,860
Are you expecting Ray anytime soon?

568
00:49:48,111 --> 00:49:51,321
- Oh, yes. I expect him home any minute.
- Ah.

569
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:54,700
Would you like some cookies?
I just baked them.

570
00:49:54,993 --> 00:49:56,618
Yummy.

571
00:50:00,707 --> 00:50:02,166
Wow.

572
00:50:02,917 --> 00:50:05,085
Ray Finkle's house.

573
00:50:06,421 --> 00:50:08,046
I can't wait to meet him.

574
00:50:10,592 --> 00:50:12,926
Ray ain't coming home.

575
00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:16,805
But your wife expects him any minute.

576
00:50:17,015 --> 00:50:19,683
She expects him home any minute.

577
00:50:20,727 --> 00:50:24,521
See, the engine's running
but, uh, there's nobody behind the wheel.

578
00:50:26,024 --> 00:50:27,149
Eight years ago...

579
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,486
...our son escaped from
Shady Acres Mental Hospital.

580
00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:34,573
And they're still bugging us
to pick up his stuff.

581
00:50:34,824 --> 00:50:38,452
It was all that Dan Marino's fault.
Everyone knows that.

582
00:50:38,786 --> 00:50:41,997
If he'd held the ball, laces out,
like he's supposed to...

583
00:50:42,248 --> 00:50:44,625
...Ray wouldn't have missed the kick.

584
00:50:44,959 --> 00:50:49,171
Dan Marino should die
of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

585
00:50:49,422 --> 00:50:51,423
Would you like a cookie, son?

586
00:50:53,218 --> 00:50:55,636
Mm. What do you know?

587
00:50:56,179 --> 00:50:58,055
They're little footballs.

588
00:50:58,264 --> 00:50:59,640
Laces out.

589
00:51:01,184 --> 00:51:04,019
When Ray gets back and starts
kicking again...

590
00:51:04,270 --> 00:51:06,605
...he'll never even know he was gone.

591
00:51:06,856 --> 00:51:09,733
I've kept his room
just the way he left it.

592
00:51:32,257 --> 00:51:33,590
Oh, boy.

593
00:51:34,175 --> 00:51:36,635
What a sports nut, huh?

594
00:51:48,439 --> 00:51:51,692
- May I?
- Oh, yes, by all means.

595
00:51:55,238 --> 00:51:58,532
Five seconds to go here
in Super Bowl XVll.

596
00:51:58,783 --> 00:52:00,575
Dolphins trailing the 49ers...

597
00:52:00,785 --> 00:52:04,579
...by one. This will
win the game for Miami.

598
00:52:04,831 --> 00:52:06,498
There's the snap.

599
00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:07,958
Marino holds.

600
00:52:08,209 --> 00:52:09,376
The kick...

601
00:52:10,003 --> 00:52:12,087
...and it's high. No, it's...

602
00:52:12,297 --> 00:52:17,384
...no good.
Ray Finkle blew a 26-yard field goal.

603
00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:19,511
I don't believe it.

604
00:52:19,721 --> 00:52:21,471
The Dolphins lose.

605
00:52:21,681 --> 00:52:25,892
The Dolphins lose.
The Dolphins lose the Super Bowl.

606
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,938
- Melissa, it's Ace.
Where are you?

607
00:52:30,189 --> 00:52:33,775
I'm in Psychoville, and Finkle's the mayor.
Where's Marino?

608
00:52:34,027 --> 00:52:35,193
Why?

609
00:52:35,403 --> 00:52:38,572
He's about to join Snowflake.
I've gotta know where he is.

610
00:52:38,781 --> 00:52:43,035
He has a commercial shoot
at the Bogart Sound Stage.

611
00:52:43,244 --> 00:52:46,330
Call the police.
Get extra security over there. Now.

612
00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,540
Ace, what's going on?

613
00:52:49,417 --> 00:52:51,376
Ace. Ace.

614
00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:52,753
Thought I left?

615
00:52:54,797 --> 00:52:56,590
I'm really gonna go this time.

616
00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:07,434
Here we go, folks. Very quiet.

617
00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:08,977
Action.

618
00:53:09,145 --> 00:53:12,856
I'm Dan Marino, and if anyone knows
the value of protection, it's me.

619
00:53:19,030 --> 00:53:22,157
So I take care of the hands
that take care of me...

620
00:53:22,825 --> 00:53:24,117
...with Isotoner gloves.

621
00:53:24,369 --> 00:53:26,286
Cut. Again from the top.

622
00:53:26,496 --> 00:53:27,579
I said, cut.

623
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:29,122
Guys, it's a cut.

624
00:53:29,332 --> 00:53:31,708
What the hell are they doing?

625
00:53:31,959 --> 00:53:33,585
That's a cut.

626
00:53:38,674 --> 00:53:41,218
- What is this, a rewrite?
- Shut up.

627
00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:47,099
- Where'd they go?
- Over there.

628
00:53:47,350 --> 00:53:48,350
Let's go.

629
00:53:55,441 --> 00:53:57,025
Excuse me, gentlemen.

630
00:53:57,276 --> 00:53:58,402
Pet detective.

631
00:54:07,078 --> 00:54:09,579
Come on. What's wrong?

632
00:54:09,789 --> 00:54:11,289
Can't you hit me?

633
00:54:34,814 --> 00:54:36,106
Whew.

634
00:54:38,734 --> 00:54:40,694
Have there been ransom demands?

635
00:54:40,945 --> 00:54:43,405
There's no communication
with the kidnappers.

636
00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:45,574
Will the Super Bowl be postponed?

637
00:54:45,825 --> 00:54:47,325
The game is on as scheduled.

638
00:54:47,577 --> 00:54:49,494
Why weren't we told
about the kidnapping?

639
00:54:49,704 --> 00:54:52,747
Secrecy was essential.
We couldn't risk any interference.

640
00:54:52,957 --> 00:54:56,960
- Are the crimes related?
- I'm sorry, I can't comment further.

641
00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:58,462
Now, if you'll excuse me...

642
00:55:01,048 --> 00:55:03,383
Get me the autopsy on Podacter.

643
00:55:03,634 --> 00:55:06,470
Aguado, send out a memo:
No one talks to the press.

644
00:55:06,721 --> 00:55:09,306
And somebody get me some coffee.

645
00:55:09,557 --> 00:55:13,435
Tonight on Miami Vice,
Crockett gets the boss a coffee.

646
00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:18,899
Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom,
you'd better be gone.

647
00:55:19,525 --> 00:55:21,568
Is it number one or number two?

648
00:55:21,861 --> 00:55:24,070
I just wanna know how much time I have.

649
00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:29,117
Hey, uh, by the way,
I went ahead and solved that...

650
00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:32,329
- ... pesky Snowflake-Podacter-Marino thing.
- Oh, yeah?

651
00:55:33,039 --> 00:55:36,708
You ever heard of a former
Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle?

652
00:55:43,549 --> 00:55:45,342
All right, Ventura...

653
00:55:46,594 --> 00:55:47,802
...make it quick.

654
00:55:48,179 --> 00:55:51,306
I found a rare stone
at the bottom of Snowflake's tank.

655
00:55:51,557 --> 00:55:54,226
It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC
championship ring.

656
00:55:54,477 --> 00:55:57,604
It would've been a Super Bowl ring,
but Ray missed the kick.

657
00:55:57,813 --> 00:55:59,814
Blames the whole thing on Marino.

658
00:56:00,066 --> 00:56:04,694
We're talking paranoid, delusional psychosis.
I saw the guy's room.

659
00:56:04,904 --> 00:56:07,155
Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter.

660
00:56:08,032 --> 00:56:10,325
So how does Roger Podacter fit in?

661
00:56:10,868 --> 00:56:15,539
My guess is, Finkle was snooping around.
Podacter recognized him. End of story.

662
00:56:15,748 --> 00:56:20,418
As for Snowflake, they gave him Finkle's
number, taught him how to kick a goal.

663
00:56:20,628 --> 00:56:22,462
Finkle took it personally.

664
00:56:24,799 --> 00:56:26,591
So where is Finkle now?

665
00:56:26,801 --> 00:56:31,263
Busted out of a mental institute.
He's been plotting his revenge for years.

666
00:56:31,514 --> 00:56:34,182
Waiting for the perfect time
to get back at them.

667
00:56:34,392 --> 00:56:36,268
The time when it'd hurt them most:

668
00:56:36,477 --> 00:56:38,645
Super Bowl time.

669
00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:41,273
Man, I'm tired of being right.

670
00:56:45,653 --> 00:56:47,279
Congratulations.

671
00:56:48,489 --> 00:56:51,324
You've done some fine detective work...

672
00:56:53,202 --> 00:56:54,411
...Ace.

673
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,707
I'm sorry, could you
speak into my good ear?

674
00:56:58,958 --> 00:57:01,084
I thought I heard you call me Ace.

675
00:57:01,627 --> 00:57:06,256
Maybe I was wrong about you.
Maybe you are more than just a pet dick.

676
00:57:14,473 --> 00:57:17,100
Your gun is digging into my hip.

677
00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:18,810
What's wrong?

678
00:57:19,061 --> 00:57:21,521
Want me to read you your rights?

679
00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:24,107
Maybe later.

680
00:57:27,278 --> 00:57:28,403
What is it?

681
00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:30,238
That bony little bitch...

682
00:57:30,489 --> 00:57:32,198
...Melissa Robinson?

683
00:57:32,908 --> 00:57:34,993
You just don't do anything for me.

684
00:57:36,454 --> 00:57:37,704
Down, boy.

685
00:57:39,790 --> 00:57:42,500
Everything okay in here?
I heard some commotion.

686
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:44,544
Fine, sergeant.

687
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,671
You want me to throw him out?

688
00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:50,008
Why don't you throw yourself out?

689
00:57:52,011 --> 00:57:53,303
Yes, ma'am.

690
00:57:56,557 --> 00:57:59,434
Ace, I want you to leave everything to us.

691
00:57:59,685 --> 00:58:02,937
I can't do that, lieutenant.
I was hired to find Snowflake.

692
00:58:03,189 --> 00:58:04,856
When we find Marino...

693
00:58:05,107 --> 00:58:07,150
...we'll deliver Snowflake.

694
00:58:07,401 --> 00:58:09,486
When I find Snowflake...

695
00:58:10,905 --> 00:58:12,697
...I'll deliver Marino.

696
00:58:24,835 --> 00:58:26,044
Melissa, it's Ace.

697
00:58:26,295 --> 00:58:29,172
What are you doing here?
It's the middle of the night.

698
00:58:29,924 --> 00:58:31,925
You have to commit me.

699
00:58:33,094 --> 00:58:36,554
Finkle escaped from Shady Acres.
They still have his stuff.

700
00:58:36,806 --> 00:58:39,057
They aren't gonna let us look around.

701
00:58:39,308 --> 00:58:40,392
I know.

702
00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:43,478
It's a good thing
I'm a master of disguise.

703
00:58:43,729 --> 00:58:44,771
Mrs. Robinson...

704
00:58:45,106 --> 00:58:47,148
...I'm Dr. Handly.

705
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:49,818
Now who is it you want us to look at?

706
00:58:50,069 --> 00:58:51,319
My brother...

707
00:58:51,946 --> 00:58:53,154
...Larry.

708
00:58:57,326 --> 00:58:59,869
I'm ready to go in.
Just give me a chance.

709
00:59:00,079 --> 00:59:03,039
I know there's a lot riding on it,
but it's all psychological.

710
00:59:03,332 --> 00:59:05,041
Just gotta stay positive.

711
00:59:07,211 --> 00:59:10,380
I'm gonna execute
a buttonhook pattern, super slow-mo.

712
00:59:38,409 --> 00:59:39,701
Let's see that...

713
00:59:39,952 --> 00:59:41,578
...in an instant replay.

714
00:59:56,927 --> 01:00:00,221
Your brother won't be
the first football pro we've treated.

715
01:00:00,473 --> 01:00:03,183
- Is that right?
- Yes, we're very sensitive...

716
01:00:03,434 --> 01:00:05,894
...to the stress athletes have to endure.

717
01:00:06,145 --> 01:00:08,104
I'm open. I'm open.

718
01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:10,648
I'm open.

719
01:00:11,484 --> 01:00:13,985
We'll do some preliminary evaluations...

720
01:00:14,236 --> 01:00:16,404
...but I think he'll fit in nicely here.

721
01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:18,239
Over here.

722
01:00:20,451 --> 01:00:22,160
351.

723
01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:24,412
351.

724
01:00:24,663 --> 01:00:26,623
Rover, sit. Hut, hut.

725
01:00:29,877 --> 01:00:32,837
He seems to have some difficulty
letting go of the game.

726
01:00:33,339 --> 01:00:35,423
Has he had a history of mental illness?

727
01:00:36,884 --> 01:00:38,676
As long as I've known him.

728
01:00:40,596 --> 01:00:43,223
And, uh, this is one of our therapy rooms.

729
01:00:44,016 --> 01:00:47,519
And we do arts and crafts
out here in the courtyard.

730
01:00:47,770 --> 01:00:50,647
And this is the storage room.
Down the hallway we have another-

731
01:00:51,982 --> 01:00:53,441
Halftime.

732
01:01:07,414 --> 01:01:11,334
He'll be fine there by himself
for the next 20 minutes.

733
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:16,005
- I'll show you the dormitories, then.
- Great.

734
01:01:16,882 --> 01:01:20,176
Dr. Hire, please call the page operator.

735
01:01:20,344 --> 01:01:23,429
Dr. Hire, please call the page operator.

736
01:02:20,905 --> 01:02:22,447
Finkle.

737
01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:28,745
Isotoners.

738
01:02:48,140 --> 01:02:50,475
Obsess much?

739
01:02:52,102 --> 01:02:53,728
Where are you going?

740
01:02:53,979 --> 01:02:56,981
To clean the storage room.
No, clean the cafeteria.

741
01:02:57,191 --> 01:02:59,275
I don't tell you how to do your job.

742
01:02:59,526 --> 01:03:01,152
The schedule says...

743
01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:03,696
- ... clean the cafeteria.
- I know what I'm doing.

744
01:03:03,864 --> 01:03:05,323
You should've done it earlier.

745
01:03:05,574 --> 01:03:08,826
Man, come on. Cafeteria, my ass.
I'm cleaning in here.

746
01:03:09,036 --> 01:03:11,120
You take breaks too long. You smoke-

747
01:03:11,372 --> 01:03:13,623
Man, you're a pain in the ass.

748
01:03:36,397 --> 01:03:38,898
"Search called off for missing hiker.

749
01:03:39,566 --> 01:03:42,068
A search ended today
when rescue workers...

750
01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:45,905
...were unable to find the body
of Lois Einhorn. "

751
01:03:47,533 --> 01:03:49,701
A hiker missing since Friday?

752
01:03:49,952 --> 01:03:51,536
Lois Einhorn?

753
01:03:52,913 --> 01:03:55,540
Holy shitballs.

754
01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:11,514
What're you doing out here?
Get back to work.

755
01:04:11,682 --> 01:04:13,099
Sorry, lieutenant.

756
01:04:41,253 --> 01:04:42,545
"Love, Roger"?

757
01:04:51,096 --> 01:04:52,680
Ace, it's E.

758
01:04:52,848 --> 01:04:55,683
You think the article you found
was something?

759
01:04:55,934 --> 01:04:58,436
I got a note from Roger to Einhorn...

760
01:04:58,687 --> 01:05:01,022
...thanking her for a wonderful evening.

761
01:05:01,273 --> 01:05:03,858
Something ain't stirring
the Kool-Aid, man.

762
01:05:04,109 --> 01:05:05,985
Wiggles, rewind.

763
01:05:10,157 --> 01:05:13,534
What the hell does Lois Einhorn
have to do with Ray Finkle?

764
01:05:15,329 --> 01:05:16,913
Come on, think.

765
01:05:17,122 --> 01:05:20,291
Finkle and Einhorn, in it together.
How? Why?

766
01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:28,966
All right. Here we go.

767
01:05:29,218 --> 01:05:32,428
Answer's right there.
Just gotta get blood to the brain.

768
01:05:33,013 --> 01:05:35,681
Finkle and Einhorn. Finkle and Einhorn.

769
01:05:35,891 --> 01:05:38,267
Finkle and Einhorn. Finkle and Einhorn.

770
01:05:42,064 --> 01:05:44,607
Einhorn and Finkle.

771
01:05:45,275 --> 01:05:47,735
Finkle and Einhorn.

772
01:05:52,407 --> 01:05:53,741
Quitter.

773
01:05:55,911 --> 01:05:58,538
What do you want? Huh?

774
01:05:59,373 --> 01:06:01,916
I don't have any food for you.

775
01:06:02,376 --> 01:06:05,044
I have to have money to buy food.

776
01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:08,673
I have to have a dolphin to get money.
Do you see a dolphin here?

777
01:06:17,141 --> 01:06:18,391
Let's face it...

778
01:06:18,642 --> 01:06:20,685
...your master is a loser.

779
01:06:22,271 --> 01:06:23,729
Loo...

780
01:06:37,786 --> 01:06:39,745
What the...?

781
01:06:41,707 --> 01:06:43,624
That's it.

782
01:06:45,794 --> 01:06:47,336
That's it.

783
01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:50,131
Einhorn is Finkle.

784
01:06:50,382 --> 01:06:52,758
Finkle is Einhorn.

785
01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:55,428
Einhorn is a man.

786
01:06:56,930 --> 01:06:58,931
Oh, my God.

787
01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:01,726
Einhorn is a man.

788
01:07:39,097 --> 01:07:41,432
No! No.

789
01:07:58,533 --> 01:08:00,910
"Your gun is digging into my hip. "

790
01:08:01,870 --> 01:08:03,246
God.

791
01:08:04,831 --> 01:08:09,418
And the big story in this
Super Bowl game is the abduction...

792
01:08:09,628 --> 01:08:12,713
...of Miami's starting quarterback,
Dan Marino.

793
01:08:12,965 --> 01:08:16,092
It's gotta be a strain
on this Miami team, Bob...

794
01:08:54,423 --> 01:08:57,925
What's the matter, Dan?
Aren't you having fun?

795
01:08:58,135 --> 01:09:01,971
I just love Super Bowl Sunday.
Don't you, Dan?

796
01:09:02,222 --> 01:09:04,515
A magical afternoon...

797
01:09:04,891 --> 01:09:07,143
...where dreams are made...

798
01:09:08,228 --> 01:09:09,729
...and crushed.

799
01:09:10,063 --> 01:09:13,566
Look, if you want tickets,
you're going about it the wrong way.

800
01:09:15,110 --> 01:09:18,696
Do I look familiar to you?
Does it seem as if we've...

801
01:09:18,905 --> 01:09:21,073
...met someplace before?

802
01:09:21,491 --> 01:09:24,076
I don't know. I get hit in the head a lot.

803
01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:26,746
Now the coin toss.

804
01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:28,748
Kickoff time.

805
01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:31,375
My favorite thing.

806
01:09:31,543 --> 01:09:34,587
Bob, it looks like Philadelphia
has elected to kick off.

807
01:09:38,050 --> 01:09:39,592
Laces out.

808
01:09:40,469 --> 01:09:43,095
With Marino out, they're gonna
be putting a lot of pressure...

809
01:09:43,263 --> 01:09:45,264
...on this replacement quarterback.

810
01:09:48,060 --> 01:09:49,727
And there's the kick.

811
01:09:49,895 --> 01:09:52,855
This year's Super Bowl is under way.

812
01:09:58,862 --> 01:10:02,365
I made some refreshments, Dan.

813
01:10:03,658 --> 01:10:06,160
Would you like some refreshments, Dan?

814
01:10:07,371 --> 01:10:10,498
I'll be right back, Dan.

815
01:10:34,815 --> 01:10:36,816
And it was his wife. Ha, ha.

816
01:10:39,694 --> 01:10:43,697
I don't know how much psycho-woman's
paying you, but I'll double it.

817
01:10:43,949 --> 01:10:47,159
Sorry.
"Psycho-woman" keeps us out of prison.

818
01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:50,121
Snowflake, here you go. Come on.

819
01:10:50,330 --> 01:10:52,039
Check it out, Marino.

820
01:10:52,249 --> 01:10:54,583
I'm throwing passes to a dolphin.

821
01:11:05,011 --> 01:11:07,847
Damn. Go get some more fish.

822
01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:09,723
I'm gonna kill that dolphin.

823
01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:12,643
Lovely party.

824
01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:14,645
Pity I wasn't invited.

825
01:11:27,159 --> 01:11:29,243
Where the hell's the smelt?

826
01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:39,545
Unconscious. Exactly as I planned.

827
01:11:45,635 --> 01:11:47,094
Hey, Roc?

828
01:11:47,929 --> 01:11:49,388
What the hell was that?

829
01:12:00,525 --> 01:12:01,609
Shit.

830
01:12:07,365 --> 01:12:10,367
What happened? What's going on?

831
01:12:10,619 --> 01:12:13,162
- You okay?
- Guess what?

832
01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:14,622
It's naptime.

833
01:12:17,292 --> 01:12:18,751
What a hit.

834
01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:23,005
Heads up.

835
01:12:26,092 --> 01:12:27,134
Hi, Dan.

836
01:12:29,346 --> 01:12:30,471
Who are you?

837
01:12:31,723 --> 01:12:35,142
Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.
I've been sent with a special play:

838
01:12:35,393 --> 01:12:37,019
The quarterback sneak.

839
01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:42,316
Penalty. Too many men on the field.

840
01:12:42,943 --> 01:12:44,944
I warned you, Ventura.

841
01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:47,196
Whatever happened to "Ace"?

842
01:12:47,405 --> 01:12:49,198
Good question.

843
01:12:49,783 --> 01:12:54,286
Be careful with that phone.
In time, you could develop a tumor.

844
01:12:54,913 --> 01:12:57,248
Aguado, it's Lieutenant Einhorn.

845
01:12:57,499 --> 01:13:01,252
Send some men over
to the Hallandale yacht basin.

846
01:13:01,503 --> 01:13:03,921
I've got the kidnapper
trapped in the warehouse.

847
01:13:04,464 --> 01:13:07,049
It's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.

848
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,889
Code 11 in progress, 343 Victorville Road...

849
01:13:14,140 --> 01:13:15,724
...at the Hallandale basin.

850
01:13:15,934 --> 01:13:19,228
Officer needs backup.
Suspect's name: Ace Ventura...

851
01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:22,064
...should be considered
armed and dangerous.

852
01:13:22,774 --> 01:13:25,442
It's Ace. We gotta break out of here.

853
01:13:28,071 --> 01:13:29,405
Is he in trouble?

854
01:13:29,656 --> 01:13:32,074
Don't worry, if there's one thing I know...

855
01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:34,535
...there's nothing Ace can't handle.

856
01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:37,454
Don't kill me.

857
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:40,749
Please.

858
01:13:41,209 --> 01:13:43,502
I'll never tell anyone, I swear.

859
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,088
- He's who you want. Kill him.
- Kill him.

860
01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:49,091
Kill him. He held the ball, remember?

861
01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:50,926
Come on, look at him.

862
01:13:51,177 --> 01:13:52,428
- Crybaby.
- Jock.

863
01:13:52,679 --> 01:13:53,804
- Wimp.
- Musclehead.

864
01:13:53,972 --> 01:13:55,347
Shut up.

865
01:13:55,599 --> 01:13:59,977
I think I'll kill the dolphin first.
I wouldn't want you to miss that.

866
01:14:00,562 --> 01:14:02,354
And there's the snap.

867
01:14:02,564 --> 01:14:05,774
The kick. And it's good.

868
01:14:05,984 --> 01:14:08,902
Good to see somebody
who doesn't buckle under the pressure.

869
01:14:13,867 --> 01:14:18,287
What would you know about pressure?

870
01:14:18,580 --> 01:14:21,123
Well, I have kissed a man.

871
01:14:22,042 --> 01:14:26,462
There's never been
a more crucial kick in a Super Bowl...

872
01:14:26,755 --> 01:14:29,006
...than the "kick heard 'round the world. "

873
01:14:29,507 --> 01:14:34,595
I mean, it's clear to me that it was
a good hold. Finkle just booted it.

874
01:14:35,680 --> 01:14:37,181
The laces were in.

875
01:14:37,641 --> 01:14:39,266
They were in!

876
01:14:59,537 --> 01:15:01,163
- You like that?
- Aah!

877
01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:02,581
You like that?

878
01:15:08,088 --> 01:15:09,963
And that. And that.

879
01:15:20,517 --> 01:15:22,893
Having a little trouble with the lady?

880
01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:24,770
You don't understand...

881
01:15:25,021 --> 01:15:26,230
...she's a-

882
01:15:29,234 --> 01:15:31,151
Get him, Lois. Get him.

883
01:15:35,073 --> 01:15:36,490
Get him.

884
01:15:43,164 --> 01:15:44,206
Shoot him!

885
01:15:46,251 --> 01:15:48,293
- Shoot him!
Hold your fire.

886
01:15:50,088 --> 01:15:51,255
Don't shoot.

887
01:15:51,464 --> 01:15:53,716
Put your guns down, or this cop gets it.

888
01:15:54,509 --> 01:15:55,968
I mean it.

889
01:15:56,428 --> 01:15:58,637
She's not joking.

890
01:15:58,847 --> 01:16:00,389
He kidnapped Snowflake.

891
01:16:00,640 --> 01:16:05,227
He killed Roger Podacter
and was about to kill Marino and me.

892
01:16:05,645 --> 01:16:07,730
Ho, ho, ho!

893
01:16:08,106 --> 01:16:10,607
Fiction can be fun.

894
01:16:10,859 --> 01:16:13,777
But I find the reference section
much more enlightening.

895
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:15,404
For instance...

896
01:16:15,655 --> 01:16:16,905
...if you look up...

897
01:16:17,157 --> 01:16:21,618
...professional football's
all-time bonehead plays...

898
01:16:22,162 --> 01:16:25,581
...you might read about a Miami Dolphin
kicker named Ray Finkle...

899
01:16:25,832 --> 01:16:30,461
...who missed a 26-yard field goal
in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVll.

900
01:16:33,339 --> 01:16:37,176
You wouldn't read that Finkle
was committed to a mental hospital...

901
01:16:37,427 --> 01:16:40,721
...only to escape, join the police...

902
01:16:40,972 --> 01:16:44,183
...and scheme
to get even with Marino...

903
01:16:44,434 --> 01:16:46,560
...whom he blamed for the entire thing.

904
01:16:48,021 --> 01:16:49,772
What are you talking about?

905
01:16:49,981 --> 01:16:54,151
She's not Lois Einhorn.
She's Ray Finkle. She's a man.

906
01:16:54,360 --> 01:16:55,444
He's lying.

907
01:16:55,695 --> 01:16:56,987
Shoot him!

908
01:17:00,158 --> 01:17:03,243
Let's just see who's lying, shall we?

909
01:17:03,495 --> 01:17:07,498
Would a real woman have to wear
one of these?

910
01:17:13,505 --> 01:17:15,589
Boy, that's really on there.

911
01:17:16,132 --> 01:17:17,841
But tell me this:

912
01:17:18,051 --> 01:17:19,635
Would a real woman...

913
01:17:19,886 --> 01:17:22,095
...be missing these?

914
01:17:27,644 --> 01:17:30,437
That kind of surgery can be done
over the weekend.

915
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:32,815
But I doubt very much...

916
01:17:33,358 --> 01:17:37,069
...if he could find the time
during his busy schedule...

917
01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:38,654
...to get rid of...

918
01:17:38,905 --> 01:17:39,947
...big old...

919
01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:41,782
...Mr. Knish.

920
01:17:49,707 --> 01:17:51,124
Oh, boy.

921
01:17:51,543 --> 01:17:53,752
Psst. Psst. Ace.

922
01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:55,379
Come here.

923
01:17:56,214 --> 01:17:59,049
Would you excuse me for just one second?

924
01:18:07,433 --> 01:18:09,059
Ladies and gentlemen...

925
01:18:09,727 --> 01:18:12,563
...my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino...

926
01:18:13,523 --> 01:18:15,524
...brought new evidence to my attention.

927
01:18:15,775 --> 01:18:16,775
Now...

928
01:18:17,151 --> 01:18:21,029
...history has certainly shown
that even the most intuitive...

929
01:18:21,281 --> 01:18:24,116
...criminal investigator can be wrong.

930
01:18:24,367 --> 01:18:26,410
But if I am mistaken...

931
01:18:26,744 --> 01:18:29,746
...if the lieutenant
is indeed a woman...

932
01:18:29,998 --> 01:18:32,291
...as she claims to be...

933
01:18:32,542 --> 01:18:33,709
...then, my friend...

934
01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:39,381
...she is suffering from the worst case
of hemorrhoids I have ever seen.

935
01:18:40,091 --> 01:18:42,384
That's why Roger Podacter is dead.

936
01:18:42,594 --> 01:18:45,053
He found Captain Winkie.

937
01:18:54,314 --> 01:18:59,151
Good night. You've been a wonderful audience.
Be sure to tip your waitress.

938
01:19:04,115 --> 01:19:06,199
Die, animal boy.

939
01:19:06,993 --> 01:19:08,327
Quick decision.

940
01:19:29,140 --> 01:19:31,892
Loser.

941
01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:40,275
- Ace. You have any more gum?
- Yeah, Dan?

942
01:19:40,526 --> 01:19:44,821
That's none of your damn business.
Stay out of my personal affairs.

943
01:19:45,615 --> 01:19:48,241
You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy.

944
01:19:49,786 --> 01:19:52,162
Ladies and gentlemen...

945
01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,206
...the Miami Dolphins are proud...

946
01:19:54,415 --> 01:19:57,250
...to welcome back
to Joe Robbie Stadium...

947
01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,127
...our beloved mascot...

948
01:19:59,337 --> 01:20:02,172
...and the star of our halftime show:

949
01:20:02,382 --> 01:20:04,132
Snowflake.

950
01:20:11,099 --> 01:20:12,724
And now...

951
01:20:12,934 --> 01:20:16,603
...returning for the second half,
the Dolphins' most valuable player...

952
01:20:17,271 --> 01:20:19,481
...Dan Marino.

953
01:21:05,486 --> 01:21:07,154
Idiot.

954
01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:12,325
Do you know what you've done?
You just cost me 25 grand, Polly.

955
01:21:12,535 --> 01:21:14,536
Yeah? Blow me.

956
01:21:16,247 --> 01:21:17,581
Really?

957
01:21:32,972 --> 01:21:34,598
The National Football League...

958
01:21:34,766 --> 01:21:39,519
...would like to offer a special thank
you to the man who rescued Dan Marino...

959
01:21:39,729 --> 01:21:41,188
...and our beloved Snowflake.

960
01:21:41,773 --> 01:21:43,398
A great humanitarian...

961
01:21:43,649 --> 01:21:45,734
...and a lover of all animals:

962
01:21:46,110 --> 01:21:49,112
Mr. Ace Ventura.

963
01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:52,616
Get off me!

964
01:21:53,951 --> 01:21:55,577
Get off me!

965
01:21:56,305 --> 01:22:02,188
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