1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:04,504 Verily, my lady, though must know it, 2 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:06,214 the truth I have not stretcheth, 3 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,716 for your gaze have caused my pants to stretcheth. 4 00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:10,427 * Please release me, let me grow * 5 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,346 Forsooth, I must leave to defend my honor. 6 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,640 And I'd rather be on her than off her. 7 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:16,766 (laughter) 8 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,518 How will I defend myself? 9 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,520 Oi. My tool has gone limp. 10 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,522 For which the time-tested Elizabethan cure is 11 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,315 a ten-minute intermission. 12 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,484 Okay, thank you. Thank you. All right. 13 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,319 Don't forget to toss your cookies, and remember, 14 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,196 loud clanking noises hurt my ears, 15 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:31,656 but the sound of green paper is very soothing. 16 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,408 Thank you. Thank you. 17 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,826 Say hello to Peter and Paul. Thank you, darling. 18 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,453 Thank you, Mr. Manson. Thank you. 19 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,538 Rich. Rich within my wildest dreams. 20 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,582 Hi, pookie. 21 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,375 Look, now we can buy that shoelace we've always dreamed of. 22 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,710 Let's go, Robbie. Come on. 23 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,795 Hey. Let me see your panhandling license. 24 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,464 Sgt. Pepper, I ain't been handling no pans. 25 00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:48,840 You look good in blue. I like the star. 26 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,258 -Get moving. -Okay. 27 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,677 Merry Christmas, Mr. Potter! 28 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,679 Did you call that casting agent yet? 29 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,431 About the revival of "Laugh-In"? Please. 30 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,224 -Lucky I called for you. -(sighs) 31 00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:00,226 If you really wanna be an actor, 32 00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:01,644 you gotta try for things like that. 33 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,521 I can't leave San Francisco. 34 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,898 There are bums who haven't spit on me. 35 00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,649 Women I've only slept with once. 36 00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,276 -Thanks. -I think you're scared of success. 37 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,778 'Cause I don't wanna sell out? 38 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,530 No, because for you success is selling out. 39 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,491 Fine. I'll go Hollywood. Don't do it! 40 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,576 That way lies fear, famine, and fart jokes. 41 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:19,454 You see? Even my inner old crone hates the idea. 42 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,831 I'm a gonzo guy. What I do wouldn't work on TV. 43 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,751 Woman: Robin! 44 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,920 I knit this scarf for you. 45 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,506 Thanks. We'll treasure it. 46 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,758 Friend of yours? 47 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,344 The Fonz knows how to deal with situations. 48 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,637 First, I want Ron-- 49 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:37,514 (laughter) 50 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,224 Ron who? My name is Richie. 51 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,934 First I want Richie. 52 00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:42,769 You know, Andy Griffith never called me Ron. 53 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,896 -He always called me Opie. -He thought you were Opie. 54 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,273 And he still can't believe you changed your name 55 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:49,275 and switched fathers. 56 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,695 Ladies and gentlemen, the king of all sitcoms, Garry Marshall. 57 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,406 Otherwise known as the boss man. 58 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,282 -All right. All right. -(applause stops) 59 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:59,285 -Hey, I didn't say stop. -(applause continues) 60 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:01,162 How much am I paying you two? 61 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,540 Less than you paid Randall and Klugman on "The Odd Couple." 62 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,959 Randall and Klugman were comic geniuses. 63 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,753 They never screwed up my lines like you screw up Harvey's. 64 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,296 It's our process. 65 00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:11,798 It's what keeps "Happy Days" happy. 66 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,800 Yes, you're all talented, happy, and professional. 67 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,677 Being a head writer's a dream. 68 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,596 Which is why I know it's all gonna go horribly wrong. 69 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:21,516 Harvey, thank you for the uplifting pep talk. 70 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,476 May I steal you away a second? 71 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,186 Yeah, sure. 72 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,188 See if you can get along without me for a couple minutes. 73 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,315 I got something to ask you. 74 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,943 Please, not another rewrite on the "Blansky's Beauties" pilot. 75 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,237 We've already got two top-ten TV shows. 76 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,613 Why would you want another one? 77 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,948 Take my mind off this one. 78 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,908 Woman: I can't say this. Who wrote this? 79 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,493 Oh, here we go again. 80 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,870 You're the boss' sister, Penny. 81 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,663 That's why I get all the crappy lines. 82 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,373 Oh, really, Cindy? 83 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,334 Well, then why are my lines just as crappy? 84 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,919 Why is your dressing room ten inches longer than mine, hmm? 85 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,880 You measured our dressing room? 86 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,673 Oh, don't be ridiculous. 87 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,216 I had my assistant do it. 88 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,676 -Oh--Oh, I'm ridiculous? -Wait a second. 89 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,345 You're not gonna ask me to write for them? 90 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,347 No! No, no, Harvey, friends don't ask friends 91 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,973 to write for "Laverne & Shirley." 92 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,808 I wanted to run an idea by you. 93 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,311 See, I been researching what young people like. 94 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,687 You mean you talked to your son. 95 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,689 Yeah, right. I talked to Scotty. 96 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,733 He's good at young. He's been doing it for seven years. 97 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,860 He likes "Star Wars." He says "Happy Days" needs a Martian. 98 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,487 -A Martian? -Yeah. 99 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,238 -On "Happy Days"? -Now you got it. 100 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,990 So you wanna take a hit TV show 101 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,742 and change the entire premise. 102 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,285 Eh, make it a dream sequence. 103 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,787 How am I supposed to write a Martian? 104 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,581 Cute! I want a cute Martian. Casting's the key. 105 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,750 Well, I do know the perfect actor. 106 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,711 "On my planet, we have no emotions." 107 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,838 I'm telling you, this is the stupidest character 108 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,382 I've ever had to play. 109 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:36,883 Maybe if you used a funny voice. 110 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,344 (sighs) All right. 111 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,388 Whatever. 112 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,556 "On my planet, we have no emotions." 113 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,475 No emotions? 114 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,727 You mean you don't feel love or envy or frustration or anger? 115 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,730 "You heard me. We have no emotion--" 116 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,024 That's it. This is a "career killer." 117 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,734 -John. -I quit. I quit. 118 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,903 Johnny! Johnny! Johnny! Johnny! 119 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,406 John Byner just walked off the set. 120 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:02,367 We have no Mork. Where's my Fudgsicle? 121 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,577 Garry, we shoot in two days. 122 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,329 We don't have time to recast. 123 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,789 We're gonna have to shut it down. 124 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,791 Shut it down. Harvey, come here. Come here. 125 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,544 You are a great writer-producer, 126 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,546 but it's still my show. 127 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:15,880 We're not gonna shut it down. 128 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,757 Get Jill on the phone and have her call 129 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,801 every casting person in town, okay? 130 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,636 -You're gonna be fine. -This is my fault. 131 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,471 I mean, I'm gonna make it right. 132 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,016 I'm gonna find us our alien. 133 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,729 Enter and die. 134 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,856 Well, there are fates worse than death. 135 00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,441 Like getting cancelled. 136 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,609 Thank you, broadcast standards. 137 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,611 If they ran my standup act, 138 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,448 I'd be saying things like "my winky dink longs for your female place." 139 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:44,492 Sorry, Robin. It's over. 140 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,787 What you keep smiling about? 141 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,789 I got to work with one of my idols. 142 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,791 I give up on TV, man. 143 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,795 Shoot me a concert. Be as dirty as I wanna be, Jack. 144 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,342 My career really be dead then. 145 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,801 At least you got a career. 146 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,803 First the new "Laugh-In" failed, now this show. 147 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,805 Oh, TV and me just don't get along. 148 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:08,475 Oh, you'll do fine, man. 149 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:11,519 You're cute and white. 150 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,564 Me, I'm scary and black, Jack. 151 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,941 Well, not to take away from 200 years of oppression, 152 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,028 but you're up against "Happy Days" and "Laverne & Shirley." 153 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,654 You're problem wasn't racism. 154 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,656 It was Garry Marshall. 155 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,576 -Harvey. -Yes. Comedy Store. Right. 156 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,536 And he's really funny? 157 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,706 Hysterical. Okay. What's the name again? 158 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,500 Leno. Jay Leno. 159 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,627 Now, is that one "N" or two? 160 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,045 (laughter) 161 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:38,713 Okay, okay, I've run out of places to grab myself, 162 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,007 ...So goodnight. Goodnight. Goodnight. 163 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,884 (applause) 164 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,678 -That was great. -Thank you. 165 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,012 Okay, but just give him some air please. 166 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,681 Don't take my wallet. Nice jacket. 167 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,683 -Hi. Harvey Severson. -Hi. 168 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,643 -I write and produce for TV. -Good for you. 169 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,520 Look, I missed the beginning, but I think you're hysterical. 170 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:54,979 -Thank you. -I may have a part for you. 171 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,731 Oh, no, no, TV hates me. She kicked me out. 172 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,817 -Took the kids and the house. -That's very good. 173 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,694 I mean, have you been on anything? 174 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,445 Sure, Quaaludes, cough drops, corn dogs. Also two shows. 175 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,197 Both cancelled faster than a speeding bullet. 176 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,449 Oh, well, you know what they say, Jay. Three's the charm. 177 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,993 Jay? Oh, no, I'm Robin Williams. 178 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,829 (German accent) But in the Berlin circus 179 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,747 I was known as the kleine flaccid wiener. Ja. 180 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,541 No, if you're looking for Jay Leno, 181 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,543 he's standing over there behind his chin. 182 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:17,919 Robin Williams. I can't believe I've never heard of you. 183 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,713 Oh, well, you should meet Burt Bacharach. 184 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:20,880 -He's never heard of me either. -Come on. Let's go. 185 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,841 -So long. -Jay: Hi. How you doin'? 186 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,761 -Robin Williams. -Hello, everybody. 187 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,557 Are we going somewhere? 188 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,058 Yeah, back to San Francisco. 189 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,643 We came here so I'd get on TV. 190 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,020 I did, and nothing happened. 191 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,438 But your name's just getting around. 192 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,523 Things are just starting. 193 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,151 Well, you're a smart lady, but you're wrong about this, okay? 194 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,069 I'm not made for TV. 195 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,821 If we stay here, we're just gonna get poor and unhappy. 196 00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,740 Then we're gonna start fighting, and you'll turn lesbian. 197 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,908 I'll sleep with your lover, naturally, 'cause I'll have to, 198 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:49,951 and you'll cut up all my credit cards even though I don't have any. 199 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,619 -Robin. -Ugh. 200 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,204 LA's a Venus flytrap and comics are the flies. 201 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,914 I've seen it. You get a little success, 202 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,166 they give you everything you want. 203 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,792 I don't want everything I want. 204 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,669 I was happy with what we had 205 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:00,920 back in the land of hippies and fairies and cheap drugs. 206 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,923 (telephone rings) 207 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,092 I can't take being a failure. 208 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,094 Let's go home. 209 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:12,223 -Hold on. -(rings) 210 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,684 Hello. 211 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,062 You're kidding me. Yeah, absolutely. 212 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,980 -Yes. Yes, he'll be there. -No, I won't. 213 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,524 Okay. Yeah. Thanks. Bye. 214 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,526 -Bye. -That was your manager. 215 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,111 You have an audition for "Happy Days." 216 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,072 (gasps) "Happy Days." 217 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,823 Who am I gonna be? Potsie's prom date? 218 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,950 This is what you wanted. A real acting job. 219 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,870 -Val-- -You're doing the audition. 220 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,747 Wow. 221 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,541 You're like that dominatrix I used to date only bossier. 222 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,043 Come on. 223 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,796 Do it for me. 224 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,798 Okay, but there's something I want you to do for me. 225 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,675 (laughs) 226 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,635 Garry: No, no, we're writing it for Broadway. 227 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,679 I'm trying to go legit. 228 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,639 Oh, hey, I got a meeting. I'll call you later. 229 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,975 -Bring him in, Harvey. -Okay. Robin? 230 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,727 Hey, you didn't get a script? 231 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:58,978 Oh, no, no. Don't need one. 232 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,105 Character's an alien. 233 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,148 Okay. 234 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,026 Garry, this is Robin Williams. 235 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:12,659 Garry! * How I love ya, how I love ya, my dear old--* 236 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,285 * I'm just wild about Harvey * 237 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,204 * Harvey's wild about-- Hare Krishna * 238 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,665 * Krishna Krish-- (sings in French) * 239 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,250 Zibida. 240 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,002 You... wanna have a seat? 241 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,129 Abso-tively. 242 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,630 What's he doing? 243 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,007 Okay. You're an alien. 244 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,633 No, you're the aliens. 245 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,010 And this is the weirdest planet I've been to. 246 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,803 For one thing, everyone's upside-down. 247 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,722 I'll adjust manually. (imitates machinery whirring) 248 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,558 (sings in tongues, blows raspberry) 249 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,351 Ah, better. But still weird. 250 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:41,646 Look! A Martian yarmulke. My goodness. 251 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,815 The Iridium P-38 Explosive Space Modulator. 252 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,859 That rabbi has stolen the space modulator. 253 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,861 Ha ha ha, that wascawy wabbi. 254 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,946 (speaks Yiddish) Wholesale. 255 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,740 I find your Earth ways confusing. 256 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,199 Like, how'd you know to call it World War 1? 257 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,826 Did you have the next war planned already? 258 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,703 "Who've we got, old chap?" "The Germans." 259 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,121 "I say, didn't we use them last time?" 260 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,956 "Yes, it's perfect. They can lose again." 261 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,750 "Hmm." "What?" "Hmm." "What?" "Hmm." "What?" "Hmm?" 262 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,043 We know these things because we get your TV signals. 263 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,669 "Scotty, please, the bridge is smashed. 264 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,296 Computers are down. We need more time." 265 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,882 "That's one giant step--" "To the moon, Alice!" 266 00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,051 Hi-ho, it's not easy being green cheese. 267 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,054 (laughs) Lucy, did you cut the cheese? 268 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,056 Right here on our very own stage, the lovely-- 269 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,893 (speaks Spanish) 270 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,686 I understand your name is Pussy Galore. 271 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,021 Normally I'm a dog man, 272 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,230 but I find myself strangely attracted. 273 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,940 (stuttering) That's all, folks! 274 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,946 Oh, heavy sigh. Well, I've blown another job. 275 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,698 I have to go now. My drugs are wearing off. 276 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,991 Anyone wants to sue me, please call my law firms, 277 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,743 Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, and Shapiro. 278 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,746 I'm going snorkeling. I just love... 279 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,706 Hey, Billy Bob, I got-- 280 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,125 (imitating banjo) Exit stage left. Chair. 281 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,127 This way. So long now. Okay. 282 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,921 -(opens door) -What in the world was that? 283 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,340 I don't know, but I want it on my show. 284 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,425 Fonzarelli. Fonzarelli. (speaks Italian) 285 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,762 You are very big in my country. Especially in the crotch. 286 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,931 Whoa, dude, aren't you, like, 20 years too old to be a teenager? 287 00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,849 Oh, but I just love the leather. 288 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,060 The way it fits, and it's just so tight, the way it cups you. 289 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,812 Just click your heels and say, "There's no place like homosexuality." 290 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,063 Okay, so Fonzie... 291 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,815 What's going on with his costume? 292 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,149 It doesn't fit. 293 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,193 There's no time. He's using John Byner's. 294 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,695 -Oh. -(bell rings) 295 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,071 Man: Okay, here we go. On the bell. 296 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,073 Garry: Okay, everybody. Back to one. 297 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,701 And remember, just keep it light and funny. 298 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,703 Funny, funny. 299 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,705 Okay. And... action. 300 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,373 Now you're gonna be too cool for school. 301 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:26,126 This is your date, Miss Laverne DeFazio. 302 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,293 Nice to meet ya. 303 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,129 Wow, what a huge thigh. 304 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,297 And your milk sacs are bunched together very nicely. 305 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,133 -(laughter) -I shaved my under arms. Did you? 306 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,926 Hey! 307 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,261 Oh, that's a lovely parasite growing out of your head. 308 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,929 And I'm supposed to give you a gift, 309 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,764 so here's a coupon to "Big Jugs" magazine. 310 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,808 -(laughter) -Don't you just love storage jars? 311 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,977 Now you're supposed to get very drunk. 312 00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,145 Fonzie says I'll look a lot better after you consume lots of alcohol. 313 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,397 -(laughs) -Cut, cut, cut. 314 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,734 Cut, Penny, Penny, can we please just do one take 315 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,235 without you laughing? 316 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,154 Yeah, I'll try. I'll try. But I doubt it. Come on. 317 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,114 Can you tell her to stop pinching my ass? 318 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,991 It happened really quickly. You didn't see it. It was fast. 319 00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,826 Garry: All right, Penny, keep your hands to yourself. 320 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,453 -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -Hey. 321 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,247 All right, let's get serious. Back to one. 322 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,334 And remember, loosey-goosey. 323 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,085 (audience laughing) 324 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,462 Garry: A little less loosey, a little more goosey. 325 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,172 Thank you. Sorry. Goosey. Whoo! Sorry. 326 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,883 We're ready now. I'm okay! Okay. 327 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,093 Garry: All right, calm down. Everybody, calm down. 328 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:19,721 All right, and... action. 329 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,765 Now you're gonna be too cool for school. 330 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,016 -Gotcha! -This is your date, 331 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,851 Miss Laverne DeFazio. 332 00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,186 Pleased to meet ya. 333 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,521 Wow! I'm supposed to give you a coupon. 334 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,857 But I don't have it in my boot, so I'm gonna go down here and grab it from here. 335 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,192 No one didn't see that. We're gonna put it in here inside my shoe. 336 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,193 So basically, what you missed was, 337 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,277 (speaking gibberish) 338 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,029 (audience laughing) 339 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,864 Here we are. Here's a coupon for "Big Jugs" magazine. 340 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,866 In case you missed it, here it is, there it is. 341 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,451 -And there it is. And here it is. Uh-oh! -Garry: Okay... 342 00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:44,204 That's great. Cut, cut. Everybody, that's fine. 343 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,206 Robin, maybe a little less caffeine. 344 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,791 Oh, yes, sir. 345 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,209 (slowed voice) A little less caffeine. 346 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,045 Pleased to meet you. Don't be upset, 347 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,464 but mama, mama. 348 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:57,008 (chuckles) No, no, it's not just the big ratings. 349 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,344 Listen, Frank, it's the buzz. In 25 years, 350 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,221 I've never heard buzz like this. 351 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,889 Uh, wait. You know what? Hold on, Frank. 352 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,392 I'm gonna put you on speaker phone. Let me... 353 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,268 -Frank, the network honcho? -Yeah. 354 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:10,063 Hey, Frank, I've got Harvey Severson with me here. 355 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,481 He wrote the episode. 356 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,983 -Harvey, great stuff. -Thank you. 357 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,276 You're better looking in your pictures. 358 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,320 Funny guy. You should write sitcoms. 359 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,780 Garry: Hey, Frank... 360 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,281 I got a word for you. 361 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,950 -Spinoff. -Come on. 362 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,952 It was fun. It was a stunt, a gag. 363 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,246 Our viewers don't wanna see a retread 364 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,914 of "My Favorite Martian." 365 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:30,417 Wrong, wrong-- they'll wanna see Robin Williams. 366 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,544 Hey, I got the whole thing figured out in my head. 367 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,296 The Mork character, he hooks up with this cute girl. 368 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:38,008 -What girl? -Oh, a pretty young actress. 369 00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,135 You don't know her yet, but she's fabulous. 370 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,803 It's kind of out there. 371 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:44,431 (inhales sharply, sighs) 372 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,891 You wanna try, go ahead. Write a pilot. 373 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,060 (chuckling) Okay. Hey, Frank, thanks a lot. 374 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,563 I'll call you later. (laughing) 375 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,106 Who's the actress? 376 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,607 (sighs) 377 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:57,235 I have no idea. I made the whole thing up. 378 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,903 But there is a girl... 379 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,113 (projector clacking, whimsical music playing) 380 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,448 I love my hair. 381 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,241 Always full and shiny. 382 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,285 Thanks to an incredible new shampoo. 383 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,953 Pam Dawber. 384 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:09,873 See, I saw this commercial, and it hit me. 385 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,125 All the fuss we go to with pitching and writing 386 00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:14,169 and shooting a pilot-- who needs it? 387 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,837 Watch this. 388 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,590 Okay, that's a lovely parasite growing out of your head. 389 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,508 I love my hair. 390 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:21,551 And your milk sacs are punched together very nicely. 391 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,261 Always full and shiny. 392 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,220 (audio shuts off) 393 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,972 Right. So this is... 394 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:29,476 This, this is the pilot for "Mork & Mindy." 395 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,394 And I'm supposed to give you a gift, so... 396 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,937 here's a coupon to "Big Jugs" magazine. 397 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,940 Oh, heh. Yes. Yeah. 398 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,401 -On the right there. -Here? Cool. 399 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,613 I-I'm really sorry, Garry, but, uh... 400 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,114 Can I call you Garry? 401 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,158 It would be the highlight of my day. 402 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,661 Great. So, um, Frank had an emergency out of the office. 403 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:52,290 We're having trouble again with Robert Blake on "Baretta." 404 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,459 But he will call on speaker. 405 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,087 (chuckling) As long as he'll call. 406 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:08,598 So what did I read? That you're the new VP of Comedy? 407 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,059 Very exciting, yes. 408 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,644 Hopin' to work my way up to drama. 409 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:14,938 Me, too. 410 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,108 -(phone ringing) -Thank God. 411 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,359 (chuckles) 412 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,069 -We're here, Frank! -Hey, Frank. 413 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:23,238 -Garry, the tape is clever... -Good. 414 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,949 -But it doesn't have an ABC feel to it, you know? -(bird squawking) 415 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,618 Our highest-rated shows are all reality based: 416 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,204 "Kotter," "Barney Miller," "Family." 417 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,664 (bird squawking) 418 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,374 Hey, will somebody shut up that stupid bird? 419 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,292 Frank, hold on. (chuckling) H-Hold on. 420 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,294 This show, it-- What are you talking about? 421 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,213 It is reality-based. 422 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:44,175 It's an outsider looking at us with honesty and innocence, 423 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,219 and yuks-- lots of yuks. 424 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,013 I don't know, Garry. 425 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,224 (chuckling) Okay. No-- no problem. 426 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:54,060 Uh, maybe there'd be interest at another network. 427 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,023 (bird squawks sadly) 428 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,277 I'm going to think now. 429 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,445 I'll call you back. 430 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,198 (upbeat music) 431 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,742 (Latin accent) I want to come to dance class, too! 432 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,368 Can I come, please? Can I? Huh, huh? 433 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,995 -(chuckling) Wearing that? -Si. 434 00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,205 It might be a bit distracting for my students. 435 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,416 Yeah, you're right. They'd probably faint at the sight of my thighs. 436 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,960 -Come here you. -Oh, yeah? Come here you. 437 00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,087 (humming) 438 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,756 (feminine voice) All right, come on. Everyone, back to work! 439 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:25,425 Places! We open in two weeks! Five, six, seven, eight. 440 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,260 Bob Fosse hands and lots of snaps. 441 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,554 Come on, his name's Jerome. It's not "East Side Story," 442 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,348 And Martha! Just do whatever you want. 443 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,266 It's called art. You don't need talent. Bring 'em! 444 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,434 You know, the problem with loving you 445 00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:35,602 is that it's really tough to laugh 446 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:36,686 and make out at the same time? 447 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,104 -Oh, yeah? -Mm-hmm. 448 00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,439 -(phone ringing) -(both sigh) 449 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,024 -Let it ring. -No, no, no, no, no. 450 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,442 It could be-- it could be important. 451 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,110 -(groans) -(ringing continues) 452 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,320 (sighs) Answer it. 453 00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:47,030 (as Igor) Yes, master. 454 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,449 -Hello? -Mr. Williams? 455 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,034 -Yeah? -Garry Marshall would like 456 00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,452 to see you in his office right away. 457 00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,662 -Yeah, okay. -Would 9:15 be okay? 458 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,289 -Garry Marshall wants to... -Garry Marshall wants to... 459 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,207 -see me right away. -see you right away. 460 00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:58,625 Mr. Williams? 461 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,794 -So, yeah, I gotta shower. -Clean up, okay! 462 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:04,339 Mr. Williams? Mr. Williams? 463 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:14,432 Robin! (laughing) 464 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,268 Oh, thanks for coming on such short notice. Come here. 465 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,646 What do you see on my wall? 466 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:20,563 Mold? 467 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,820 I hope you never forget this. 468 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:30,323 And I hope that this cockamamie thing finally fits you. 469 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:33,702 It cost me a fortune, but we had it tailor-made for you. 470 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,579 Well, that's kinky, but I'll try anything once. 471 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,081 (Garry laughs) 472 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:41,084 Robin... ABC just gave us a greenlight 473 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:44,045 to spin off a show about Mork from Ork. 474 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,423 You're gonna have your own series. 475 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:50,260 You are gonna have your own series! 476 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:54,180 (laughing) 477 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,099 I don't believe it. 478 00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,101 He's speechless. 479 00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:00,186 Well, it was either say nothing or throw up. 480 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,521 Did I make the right choice? 481 00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:02,856 (Garry laughing) You did! You did fine. 482 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,108 Here, we'll celebrate with a malted. 483 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,068 Harvey, a malted for you. 484 00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,779 There you go. Now, Harvey, because you did such a good job 485 00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,656 bringing Robin to us, 486 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,533 and because you make me laugh, 487 00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,327 -I'm putting you in charge. -Me? 488 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,789 Huh? Gentlemen, in a few days, 489 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:21,666 I'm gonna hire a lot of people. 490 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,669 It's gonna be a lot of fun, but it can also get crazy. 491 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,588 Well, crazy and I are old friends. 492 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,631 Sometimes your friends surprise you. 493 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,718 Sometimes... success is harder than failure. 494 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,179 Yeah, but something tells me the money's better. 495 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,390 (laughing) 496 00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:38,641 To Mork! 497 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,726 (glasses clink) 498 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,854 (laughing) Yes! 499 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,190 Oh! Thank you, sir! Thank you very much. 500 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,483 Madame! Mwah! 501 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,526 Okay! One and two and three and four. 502 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,653 Yah-ha-how! 503 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,529 (crowd chattering) 504 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,823 Whoooo! 505 00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:01,831 -Pam! -Oh! 506 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,124 -Wha-- What is it? -Take a look! 507 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,170 Pam: "Mork & Mindy"? 508 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,422 When did I audition for that? 509 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:10,590 "Garry Marshall's..." 510 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,342 (birds chirping) 511 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:14,844 Woman: Do you, Valerie Velardi, take this man 512 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,846 to be your lawful wedded husband? 513 00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:18,556 I do. 514 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,601 And do you, Robin McLaurin Williams, 515 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,813 take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? 516 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,565 -No adlibs. -(scattered laughter) 517 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,150 I do. I do, I do, I do. 518 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,152 -(laughing -I do. I do. 519 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,905 Then I pronounce you husband and wife. 520 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,366 -You may now-- -Have sex with the bride in front of all these people? 521 00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:37,450 Okay, why not? 522 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:38,702 (laughter) 523 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,204 (cheers and applause) 524 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,330 Man: God bless you. 525 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,834 (gentle guitar music) 526 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,628 Man: Well done. 527 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:52,632 (indistinct chatter) 528 00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,513 I'll buy you a banjo when we're done. 529 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,473 -(laughing) -Hi, what's your position with the show? 530 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,808 I'm here to screw it up. 531 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,643 Garry: Hello, everyone! Hello! 532 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,229 Welcome, welcome to "Mork & Mindy." 533 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,648 Come in, gather round. Don't be shy. 534 00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:12,527 My name is Garry Marshall. You all work for me. 535 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,446 (chuckling) And now that we've got that out of the way, 536 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,905 let's figure out who everyone else is. 537 00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:17,907 You, sir! Who are you? 538 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,534 (southern accent) My fellow Americans, 539 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,661 -I'm Jimmy Carter. -(scattered laughter) 540 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,997 I have lust in my heart and the biggest peanuts you ever seen. 541 00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:26,833 And speaking of lust, this is my wolf, Valerie Valerdi! 542 00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:29,544 Val is the Yoko of the group, coming between me, me, me, and me! 543 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,588 (Latin accent) Don't let them know you have a split personality. 544 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:32,964 I don't, you do. Liar! 545 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,507 -Okay, we'll sit down now. -(laughter) 546 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:36,384 And this beautiful young lady... 547 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,678 Oh, I'm Pam Dawber. I play Mindy. 548 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,555 (Russian accent) Oh, she's delicious, sensational. 549 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,515 Have her washed and brought to my tent immediately. 550 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,517 -(laughter) -And at the end of the table... 551 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,728 Uh, I'm Conrad Janis. I play Frederick. 552 00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,855 I'm hoping this series does better than my last one. 553 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:51,358 -"Quark" lasted nine episodes. -Oh, nine. 554 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,526 We'll be lucky if they put film in the cameras, heh. 555 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,028 Well, I'm Elizabeth Kerr, 556 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,946 and my last appearance was in a commercial. 557 00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:59,699 (laughing) Oh, what was the line that made you famous? 558 00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:00,909 "You're such a wiener!" 559 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,327 (laughing) 560 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:03,703 Uh, Sherman Miller, director. 561 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,497 I know Robin from San Francisco. 562 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,957 I took the job anyway. I need the money. 563 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,959 Sherman, don't touch yourself there. You'll get smaller. 564 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,045 -(laughter) -Here, take the banana. 565 00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:14,381 (laughter) 566 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,383 And this is the man you all have to pretend to pay attention to, 567 00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,385 the ever-gloomy Harvey Severson, 568 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,679 who, despite the fact that he rarely smiles, 569 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,722 really is one of the funniest men I know. 570 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,724 It's true. I'm hilarious. 571 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,559 (laughter) 572 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,019 (chuckling) And our head writer, Mr. Glen Langdon, 573 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,563 whose illustrious career includes "M.A.S.H."... 574 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:32,565 -Glen: "All in the Family..." -"All in the Family." 575 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:35,068 Yeah, I been around, and I smell another hit. 576 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:36,903 Sorry, I had nachos for breakfast. 577 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:39,531 -(laughter) -Ah, the lovely Ms. Lila Milford, 578 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,824 the member of the writing staff 579 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,576 I find most physically attractive. 580 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,745 -I'm sorry, Harvey. -(laughter) 581 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:48,331 And this is our newbie, Mr. Alan Davis. 582 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:51,418 This is his first gig as a sitcom writer. 583 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,044 Be gentle with me. I am a virgin. 584 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,421 (laughter) 585 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:55,964 Oh! Oh, and... just to make sure 586 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,008 we don't get too far out of line, 587 00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:01,845 this is James Spencer of ABC Standards and Practices. 588 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,680 Spencer the Censor! 589 00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:05,098 (Yiddish accent) Now, we might do a little kvelling, 590 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,725 but no way are we gonna shtup,okay? 591 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,059 I like the gray suit. It brings out your eyes. 592 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,936 Okay, playtime is over. 593 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:12,981 "Mork Arrives" by Harvey Severson. 594 00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:18,445 Young man, I wanna talk. 595 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:19,696 You must have a very scary brain. 596 00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:20,739 Most of your hair ran away... 597 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,323 and left a landing pad! 598 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:24,034 Orkians, land here! It's like a beacon! 599 00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,744 (laughing) That's not in the script. 600 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,038 Okay, Robin... back it up. 601 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,331 Okay, I'll back it... (imitating speaking backwards) 602 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,000 Got a lovely beat. I think I can dance to it. I'll give it more! 603 00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:35,754 * Baby, you just ain't seen nothin' yet * 604 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,131 * Here's something, here's something you'll never ever forget... * 605 00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:39,966 Aw, first he needs something. 606 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,634 I mean, I don't know, maybe introduce some stuff 607 00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:43,553 with a weird handshake or... 608 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:45,472 Like the Vulcan peace sign, only sideways. 609 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,682 And some kind of Orkan hello. 610 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:48,975 "Wahoo, wahoo." 611 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,810 -"Ooga..." -"Fana nanda"? 612 00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:52,020 "Nunu nana"? 613 00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:56,483 Yeah. That's it. 614 00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:59,027 Doesn't anyone work in outer space? 615 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:00,987 Oh, only the Flubaga, who are the equivalent on Earth 616 00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:02,655 to swamis with salamis. 617 00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:04,032 (laughing) 618 00:22:04,074 --> 00:22:06,493 Robin: Yes, oh, thank you, thank you. 619 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,495 That was lovely Sex Pistols with the theme from "Genital Beach Party." 620 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:09,871 Yes, very funky. 621 00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,706 -Rock and roll. -Excuse me. Excuse me. 622 00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:13,625 It's hard to catch everything when you talk so fast. 623 00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:18,505 (imitating slowed sound) Is this slow enough for you? 624 00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:19,839 Sherman: Robin. 625 00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:21,383 (chuckles) Just-- Just take it again. 626 00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:22,884 Okay, sir. Yes, mein capitane. 627 00:22:22,926 --> 00:22:24,511 Ready, Senor Bland! 628 00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:25,804 -(laughter) -Okay. 629 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:26,680 (chuckling) Okay. 630 00:22:26,721 --> 00:22:27,722 (clears throat) 631 00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:28,765 Let's get this straight. 632 00:22:28,807 --> 00:22:29,849 -Hyuh! -(laughter) 633 00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:31,059 Oh, so okay. So it's-- 634 00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:32,811 He's such a laugh junkie. 635 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,187 You know, the minute the crew stops reacting, 636 00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:36,064 he changes the line, even if it's good, 637 00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:37,107 even if it's his line. 638 00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:38,817 And your name is Mork? 639 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:39,984 Nanu-nanu. 640 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:41,569 He muffed the line. 641 00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:42,612 It's a good muff. 642 00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,572 Yeah, I like his muff. 643 00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:45,824 Robin: That's wonderful. Let me see here. What do we have here? 644 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:48,702 I see a head cold in your future. 645 00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,621 I see lots of sunburn. 646 00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,581 And maybe a game of pool. 647 00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:57,877 Garry: Monday night? 648 00:22:57,919 --> 00:22:59,754 They scheduled us for Monday night. 649 00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:01,715 Joe, where's Frank? 650 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:03,883 Harvey, they just scheduled us to be a midseason replacement 651 00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:05,427 for "Monday Night Football." 652 00:23:05,468 --> 00:23:06,928 They're gonna hold us till January? 653 00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:08,513 This is a disaster. 654 00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:09,973 Don't worry about it. I'll figure it... 655 00:23:10,015 --> 00:23:12,475 What are you doing? How's the rewrite coming? 656 00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:14,728 It was 8:06 a.m. I went home, showered, and came back. 657 00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:16,062 Frank, line two. 658 00:23:16,104 --> 00:23:17,981 Yeah, okay. Harvey, hold your thought. 659 00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:19,441 Frank? 660 00:23:19,482 --> 00:23:20,483 (chuckling) Monday night, Frank? 661 00:23:20,525 --> 00:23:21,860 Monday night? 662 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,862 Come on, Garry. 663 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,780 I'm not gonna risk a crucial fall time slot 664 00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:28,950 on an unproven show with a no-name star. 665 00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:31,536 Frank, Frank, come on. Every instinct I got 666 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:34,247 tells me "Mork & Mindy" is gonna be a huge hit. 667 00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,790 You do this, you'll kill it. 668 00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:36,958 But, Frank... 669 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,002 if "Mork" is a success, 670 00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:41,588 everyone's gonna know that it was you who had the forethought 671 00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:45,050 to put it on Thursday nights at 8:00, opposite "The Waltons," 672 00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:46,718 because, Frank, you knew 673 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,887 that it could beat "The Waltons." 674 00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:53,933 I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. 675 00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:57,645 Ohh. 676 00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,273 I'll tell you what. 677 00:24:00,315 --> 00:24:02,776 We won't decide until I see it. 678 00:24:02,817 --> 00:24:04,611 -(clatter) -(audience chattering) 679 00:24:12,744 --> 00:24:14,621 Young man, I wanna talk. 680 00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:16,164 What's stopping you? Go ahead, live the dream! 681 00:24:16,206 --> 00:24:18,083 Carpe diem. That means "fish of the day." 682 00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,794 -(laughter) -Where'd that come from? 683 00:24:20,835 --> 00:24:22,629 Doesn't anyone work in outer space? 684 00:24:22,671 --> 00:24:24,798 Only the Flubaga. When you're 85 bleams old, 685 00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:26,800 Orson threatens to throw you off Mount Snivets. 686 00:24:26,841 --> 00:24:28,134 Those who face death with courage and inner peace 687 00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,761 are called Flubaga, meaning "idiots." 688 00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:31,638 (laughter) 689 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:32,889 And your name is Mork? 690 00:24:32,931 --> 00:24:34,683 Nanu-nanu. 691 00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:35,684 (scattered laughter) 692 00:24:35,725 --> 00:24:37,018 Or nanu-nanu. Heh. 693 00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:38,144 Or nanu-nanu! 694 00:24:38,186 --> 00:24:40,188 (laughter) 695 00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:41,773 Lightning in a bottle. 696 00:24:41,815 --> 00:24:43,316 And it's our bottle. 697 00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:45,902 (laughter) 698 00:24:45,944 --> 00:24:48,071 (cheers and applause) 699 00:24:52,784 --> 00:24:54,035 (cheering continues) 700 00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:58,039 Bravo! Hey-hey! Bravo! 701 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:00,625 Wow! 702 00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:04,754 Bravo! Harvey, Harvey, look at that! 703 00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:06,840 A standing "O"! You wrote good! 704 00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:08,341 Well, it's for him. He deserves it. 705 00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:11,011 (cheering continues) 706 00:25:16,141 --> 00:25:18,685 This is not acceptable. Look at my script. 707 00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:21,021 Thank you! Thank you! My people! 708 00:25:21,062 --> 00:25:22,939 If he violates ABC's standards, 709 00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:24,315 I lose my job. 710 00:25:24,357 --> 00:25:25,775 This has to stop. 711 00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:29,029 (indistinct chatter) 712 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:39,039 (telephone ringing) 713 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,623 Garry: Yeah. 714 00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,667 Uh-huh. Right. 715 00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:45,378 No, no. No, thank you, Frank. 716 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:47,130 Bye-bye. 717 00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:50,675 He saw the first episode. He liked the first episode. 718 00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:53,261 He's putting us on the schedule in September. 719 00:25:53,303 --> 00:25:55,180 Thursdays at eight! 720 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:56,973 Choice! 721 00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:58,808 Huh, let's see now. What goes with banana? 722 00:25:58,850 --> 00:25:59,934 "No, no, you're all too fruity. 723 00:25:59,976 --> 00:26:01,269 "No nuts, thank you. Ohh! 724 00:26:01,311 --> 00:26:03,688 "At last! My soulmate! 725 00:26:03,730 --> 00:26:04,731 "There's something about that shape. 726 00:26:04,773 --> 00:26:05,899 "Let's go off and make 727 00:26:05,940 --> 00:26:07,192 beautiful squishy sounds together." 728 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:09,277 "No! you stay away from my hole!" 729 00:26:09,319 --> 00:26:11,905 God, how can you avoid eating junk with the hours we work? 730 00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:13,198 Well, my body's a temple, 731 00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:14,657 only with intestines instead of Jews. 732 00:26:14,699 --> 00:26:15,992 -Hmm. -Hmm! 733 00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:17,619 Well, the truth is, once I switched 734 00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:19,704 to organic foods and whole grains I felt good. 735 00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:20,997 And I like feeling good. 736 00:26:21,039 --> 00:26:23,333 Well, everyone... 737 00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:25,085 we can only go down from here. 738 00:26:25,126 --> 00:26:27,337 Meaning the ratings were good? 739 00:26:27,379 --> 00:26:30,215 We're the number three show in America! 740 00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:33,009 We are gonna be so stinking rich! 741 00:26:33,051 --> 00:26:36,346 Okay, who's the wise guy that beat us in the ratings? 742 00:26:36,388 --> 00:26:37,889 She also said you have a small penis. 743 00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:40,809 -Hey, sit on it! -(laughter) 744 00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:42,352 You two-- This reminds me 745 00:26:42,394 --> 00:26:45,105 the network is hawking me about all the dirty stuff 746 00:26:45,146 --> 00:26:46,981 you keep trying to sneak pass the censors. 747 00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:48,942 -It's so much fun. -I know it's fun. 748 00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:51,403 You're funny. Make me laugh, but... 749 00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:54,447 What? I told you. Fine, let's move on. 750 00:26:54,489 --> 00:26:56,324 What is that, tuna fish? 751 00:27:03,289 --> 00:27:05,125 Robin, it's Pam. 752 00:27:05,166 --> 00:27:08,920 Take your clothes off and come in. 753 00:27:08,962 --> 00:27:10,130 You wanted to see me? 754 00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:12,007 I bought you a present. 755 00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:13,466 You did? 756 00:27:13,508 --> 00:27:14,968 I saw this and thought of you. 757 00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:17,804 -Isn't he great? -Oh, my God! 758 00:27:17,846 --> 00:27:19,681 -I think I hate you. -No, you love me. 759 00:27:19,723 --> 00:27:21,141 -Know why? -Why? 760 00:27:21,182 --> 00:27:22,976 'Cause I'm gonna be rich, loaded, yeah, Lovey! 761 00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:24,936 Wanna go out and get loaded? 762 00:27:24,978 --> 00:27:27,897 You're asking America's newest sweetheart to get loaded? 763 00:27:27,939 --> 00:27:29,190 Or we could play with the doll. 764 00:27:29,232 --> 00:27:30,442 How you doing? You okay with that? 765 00:27:30,483 --> 00:27:31,943 -"Yeah, I'm okay!" -No thanks. 766 00:27:31,985 --> 00:27:33,153 -We should get going. -(sniffles) 767 00:27:33,194 --> 00:27:34,821 Are you sick? 768 00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:36,156 How has he the leisure to be sick 769 00:27:36,197 --> 00:27:37,490 on such a rustling tide? 770 00:27:37,532 --> 00:27:39,701 Oh, you really know the classics. 771 00:27:39,743 --> 00:27:41,119 Well, I trained at Juilliard with John Houseman. 772 00:27:41,161 --> 00:27:42,954 "Do it from the diaphragm, Mr. Williams. 773 00:27:42,996 --> 00:27:45,123 Not with a diaphragm." 774 00:27:45,165 --> 00:27:46,958 And now here I am famous for playing an alien. 775 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,293 It's surreal. 776 00:27:48,335 --> 00:27:49,711 I'm at a party and a Nobel prize winning 777 00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:51,254 physicist going, "Mork, over here! 778 00:27:51,296 --> 00:27:54,174 Yeah, do the ni-ni ni-ni!" Yeah, okay. 779 00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:55,842 You're crazy, and they're waiting. 780 00:27:55,884 --> 00:27:57,218 -Okay. Hey. -Okay. 781 00:27:57,260 --> 00:27:58,261 You wait here. "No, I don't want to!" 782 00:27:58,303 --> 00:27:59,929 You better. Okay. 783 00:27:59,971 --> 00:28:01,431 -Robin's still not ready? -Should be. 784 00:28:01,473 --> 00:28:02,932 He was here early today. 785 00:28:02,974 --> 00:28:05,018 Which means only an hour late. 786 00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:07,228 Okay, okay, where is he? 787 00:28:07,270 --> 00:28:09,898 (Robin humming) 788 00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:15,528 So, you couldn't stop with the dirty stuff. 789 00:28:15,570 --> 00:28:17,364 I'm so sorry, old chap. Shan't happen again. 790 00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,824 Yeah, I'm sure Miss Isabel Hernandez 791 00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:21,409 will make sure that's true. 792 00:28:21,451 --> 00:28:24,037 Robin, I want you to meet our new censor. 793 00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:27,374 -Hello. -Wow. Great breasts. 794 00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:29,376 How do you do that? Mine are so tiny. 795 00:28:29,417 --> 00:28:31,211 She's thinking, "Who is this schmuck?" 796 00:28:31,252 --> 00:28:33,380 The schmuck is more meshuggeneh than he is a putz. 797 00:28:33,421 --> 00:28:35,840 Uh-oh. Mamacita knows Yiddish. I'm in trouble. 798 00:28:35,882 --> 00:28:38,176 I hear "Laverne & Shirley" calling. 799 00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:39,886 You two have fun. 800 00:28:39,928 --> 00:28:41,221 Mi'lady! 801 00:28:41,262 --> 00:28:44,933 Okay, let's try one. Clear the set. 802 00:28:44,974 --> 00:28:47,394 Come on, Harvey, come on. 803 00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:50,313 Nice energy. And action. 804 00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:52,190 Mork, put some clothes on. 805 00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:54,067 I want you to meet the guy I was telling you about. 806 00:28:54,109 --> 00:28:55,777 Oh, and I want you to meet the guy I was telling you about. 807 00:28:55,819 --> 00:28:57,195 You'll have to move back a couple of yards, though. 808 00:28:57,237 --> 00:28:59,280 Mr. Marshall, we'll need an extra-wide lens. 809 00:28:59,322 --> 00:29:01,074 Hey, you, drop the luggage and say hello. 810 00:29:01,116 --> 00:29:03,118 My goodness! Darwin was wrong. 811 00:29:03,159 --> 00:29:04,911 I wonder if I'm this hairy everywhere. 812 00:29:04,953 --> 00:29:07,038 Let's grind out. What do you think? Anyone? 813 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,248 Look, the world's oldest sundial. 814 00:29:08,289 --> 00:29:10,417 No? Is that okay, Ms. Hernandez? 815 00:29:10,458 --> 00:29:12,877 Can I say that? Huh, huh? Can I, can I, huh? 816 00:29:12,919 --> 00:29:15,255 -No. -You don't think it's funny? 817 00:29:15,296 --> 00:29:18,091 Oh, it's funny, but that's not the point. 818 00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:22,595 I like my job. Oh, before you go on, 819 00:29:22,637 --> 00:29:24,389 the network had decided 820 00:29:24,431 --> 00:29:26,808 that the character of the neighbor cannot die. 821 00:29:26,850 --> 00:29:29,144 So ABC's outlawed death. Boy, is God gonna be pissed. 822 00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:31,104 The heart attack has to be non-fatal. 823 00:29:31,146 --> 00:29:33,398 What, like a funny, friendly heart attack? 824 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:34,941 We're doing black comedy 825 00:29:34,983 --> 00:29:36,109 and you're turning it into gray comedy. 826 00:29:36,151 --> 00:29:38,028 It doesn't work. 827 00:29:38,069 --> 00:29:42,115 Robin, it's okay. I'll talk to the network. 828 00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:45,577 Okay, now that that's settled, let's take it from the top. 829 00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:48,413 (crew chatter) 830 00:29:48,455 --> 00:29:52,208 Okay. I'll you mine if you show me yours. 831 00:29:52,250 --> 00:29:54,127 -No? -That's not much of a show. 832 00:29:54,169 --> 00:29:55,462 Oh, really? Okay. 833 00:29:55,503 --> 00:29:56,880 Well, can't we just do one of those 834 00:29:56,921 --> 00:29:58,506 Avalon-Funicello movies? 835 00:29:58,548 --> 00:30:00,342 Come on, you know, I'll have the towel out like this, 836 00:30:00,383 --> 00:30:01,551 and you can stand behind me and be like... 837 00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:03,511 (humming) Come on, don't you think? 838 00:30:03,553 --> 00:30:06,514 (dog barking) 839 00:30:06,556 --> 00:30:09,017 (Val chuckles) 840 00:30:09,059 --> 00:30:10,935 Oh, our first house! 841 00:30:10,977 --> 00:30:14,272 Yeah. Realty. What a concept. 842 00:30:14,314 --> 00:30:16,316 It's a big commitment owning a house. 843 00:30:16,358 --> 00:30:18,026 Being married. 844 00:30:18,068 --> 00:30:20,153 Yeah, but nothing's gonna change, right? 845 00:30:20,195 --> 00:30:22,405 Well, no, not on the inside. 846 00:30:22,447 --> 00:30:23,656 But things are different now. 847 00:30:23,698 --> 00:30:25,950 We have responsibilities. 848 00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:27,535 Responsibilities? 849 00:30:27,577 --> 00:30:31,206 No, mama! Make them go away! 850 00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:33,416 I wanna turn this into a home. 851 00:30:33,458 --> 00:30:35,210 Somewhere where we can get away from the world. 852 00:30:35,251 --> 00:30:37,170 Yeah. And I want paintings. 853 00:30:37,212 --> 00:30:39,339 Lots of them. Nudes on velvet. 854 00:30:39,381 --> 00:30:41,174 Their nipples follow you around the room. 855 00:30:41,216 --> 00:30:42,884 -Oh, yes! -(Val chuckles) 856 00:30:42,926 --> 00:30:45,345 Look! It's like Liberace's bathroom. 857 00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:47,055 "I love this! And the lines!" 858 00:30:47,097 --> 00:30:49,140 Oh, you're already going Hollywood on me. 859 00:30:49,182 --> 00:30:50,684 Am I? I love you, baby. 860 00:30:50,725 --> 00:30:52,310 Don't you want real furniture? 861 00:30:52,352 --> 00:30:54,187 Things that-- that make it ours? 862 00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:56,606 I like it like this. Empty's beautiful. 863 00:30:56,648 --> 00:30:58,608 Furniture's stuff, stuff's possessions, 864 00:30:58,650 --> 00:31:01,986 and possessions just weigh you down. 865 00:31:02,028 --> 00:31:04,197 Or root you. 866 00:31:04,239 --> 00:31:06,991 Yes, but I don't want things in life, Val. 867 00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:09,953 Just people. 868 00:31:09,994 --> 00:31:11,413 Just you. 869 00:31:16,418 --> 00:31:18,586 (Val chuckles) 870 00:31:18,628 --> 00:31:20,547 -Okay. -Okay? Okay! 871 00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:22,549 (telephone ringing) 872 00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:24,926 -You talk to the network? -What for? 873 00:31:24,968 --> 00:31:26,594 They're not gonna back down. 874 00:31:26,636 --> 00:31:27,721 How do you know what they're gonna do 875 00:31:27,762 --> 00:31:29,014 if you don't call? 876 00:31:29,055 --> 00:31:30,265 Frank on line two. 877 00:31:30,306 --> 00:31:31,641 Frank on line two. Okay, I'm coming. 878 00:31:31,683 --> 00:31:33,268 I'm coming, I'm coming. 879 00:31:33,309 --> 00:31:35,061 (Gary chuckles) 880 00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:40,400 Frank, it's Garry. 881 00:31:40,442 --> 00:31:42,027 Hey, now. I got a piece of paper here 882 00:31:42,068 --> 00:31:43,403 that says Nielsen on it 883 00:31:43,445 --> 00:31:45,488 and "Mork & Mindy" is at the tippy top. 884 00:31:45,530 --> 00:31:48,241 Hey! How about that? 885 00:31:48,283 --> 00:31:50,618 Hey, Harvey's here. Hey, great news! 886 00:31:50,660 --> 00:31:52,412 Congrats, guys. You've earned it. 887 00:31:52,454 --> 00:31:54,998 -Thank you. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 888 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,292 That's great. Uh, but I'm concerned 889 00:31:57,334 --> 00:31:59,586 'cause right now the whole show is Robin. 890 00:31:59,627 --> 00:32:01,963 The other characters, they haven't kicked in yet. 891 00:32:02,005 --> 00:32:04,090 The only good scenes are Mork's scenes. 892 00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:05,633 Okay, so let me get this straight. 893 00:32:05,675 --> 00:32:07,510 What you're saying is what our problem is 894 00:32:07,552 --> 00:32:10,096 we have the funniest actor on the planet. 895 00:32:10,138 --> 00:32:12,265 Just see if you can make the other characters funnier. 896 00:32:12,307 --> 00:32:13,683 Funnier. Okay. 897 00:32:13,725 --> 00:32:14,976 That's a good note. I'm writing it down 898 00:32:15,018 --> 00:32:16,102 as we speak. 899 00:32:16,144 --> 00:32:18,396 Oh, and in the new episode, 900 00:32:18,438 --> 00:32:21,274 we need more jeopardy for the action one break. 901 00:32:21,316 --> 00:32:23,234 That's it gentlemen. Gotta go. 902 00:32:23,276 --> 00:32:25,028 (dial tone) 903 00:32:25,070 --> 00:32:27,489 Garry, Garry, it's one thing for me to back down. 904 00:32:27,530 --> 00:32:29,657 It's what I do best. 905 00:32:29,699 --> 00:32:32,786 You just took this network from last place to first. 906 00:32:32,827 --> 00:32:34,454 Can't you just say no? 907 00:32:34,496 --> 00:32:36,206 What am I always trying to tell you? 908 00:32:36,247 --> 00:32:37,665 It's a dance. A dance. 909 00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:40,585 Sometimes they dip me, sometimes I dip them. 910 00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:43,296 Sometimes it's pretty. Sometimes, it's sloppy. 911 00:32:43,338 --> 00:32:45,048 But the bottom line is 912 00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:47,676 you don't get to go to the prom unless you dance. 913 00:32:49,427 --> 00:32:51,179 Robin, can I have your autograph? 914 00:32:51,221 --> 00:32:54,140 (all clamoring) 915 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,273 Robin, I can't keep up. 916 00:33:02,315 --> 00:33:03,692 You spend all day working, 917 00:33:03,733 --> 00:33:05,318 and you're still going to clubs at night. 918 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,737 Oh, Val, come on. Mork's my day job. 919 00:33:07,779 --> 00:33:10,824 It pays the bills, but I can be dangerous here. 920 00:33:10,865 --> 00:33:13,034 I need that rush, honey. 921 00:33:14,703 --> 00:33:17,038 Keeps me going. 922 00:33:21,376 --> 00:33:23,545 And going and going. 923 00:33:25,672 --> 00:33:27,716 How do we make the other characters funnier 924 00:33:27,757 --> 00:33:30,093 when they're all playing straight men to Mork? 925 00:33:30,135 --> 00:33:31,511 We could make the whole show worse 926 00:33:31,553 --> 00:33:33,680 so they all seem like they're funnier. 927 00:33:33,722 --> 00:33:36,474 14 nights we've been here past midnight. 928 00:33:36,516 --> 00:33:38,184 I'm starting a new club. 929 00:33:38,226 --> 00:33:40,353 Spouses and lovers of the "Mork & Mindy" writers. 930 00:33:40,395 --> 00:33:41,855 Let's let them get together and have sex, 931 00:33:41,896 --> 00:33:44,232 'cause they're not getting any from us. 932 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,822 -Pookie. -Robin! Robin, it's after 3:00. Enough. 933 00:33:50,864 --> 00:33:52,741 Oh, but I just heard there's a-- a party at Travolta's. 934 00:33:52,782 --> 00:33:54,659 -Robin-- -It'll be fun. Come on. 935 00:33:54,701 --> 00:33:57,245 No, honey, I'm tired. I can't-- can't do it anymore. 936 00:33:57,287 --> 00:33:58,705 -Really? -Yes. 937 00:33:58,747 --> 00:34:00,790 Uh, are you sure? Well, why don't you go home 938 00:34:00,832 --> 00:34:02,834 and I'll get a ride back a little later, okay? 939 00:34:02,876 --> 00:34:04,753 Pookie. Bye. 940 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:14,596 I'm putting that back in. 941 00:34:14,637 --> 00:34:16,556 Three hours ago you said it wasn't funny. 942 00:34:16,598 --> 00:34:18,308 Three hours ago it wasn't. 943 00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:20,602 Let's just make it a JLS. 944 00:34:20,643 --> 00:34:23,563 -JLS? -Joke-Like Substance. 945 00:34:23,605 --> 00:34:25,690 It's a line you know will get a laugh 946 00:34:25,732 --> 00:34:27,484 but isn't actually funny. 947 00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:28,902 Whoa. Okay. 948 00:34:28,943 --> 00:34:30,403 Mork, what are you doing? 949 00:34:30,445 --> 00:34:31,821 I got a panther in my pajamas. 950 00:34:31,863 --> 00:34:34,199 Easy. Easy. Whoa. Okay. 951 00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:35,658 (laughter) 952 00:34:35,700 --> 00:34:37,577 JLS got us home by 4:00. 953 00:34:39,496 --> 00:34:42,499 We should head back. I've got a great dinner planned for tonight. 954 00:34:42,540 --> 00:34:45,710 Oh, God, I made plans with my agent tonight. 955 00:34:45,752 --> 00:34:47,629 I thought it was just gonna be you and me for once. 956 00:34:47,671 --> 00:34:49,756 Oh, sorry. Okay. I'll call him. 957 00:34:49,798 --> 00:34:52,133 -Okay. -I'll give him a call. 958 00:34:58,598 --> 00:34:59,849 Robin! 959 00:35:00,809 --> 00:35:03,937 Look! You're everywhere! 960 00:35:03,978 --> 00:35:05,397 -Hi. Hi, it's Robin. -Hey! 961 00:35:05,438 --> 00:35:07,273 Hey! You're Robin Williams, man. 962 00:35:07,315 --> 00:35:09,526 -Yeah, that's right. -This is Robin Williams! 963 00:35:09,567 --> 00:35:11,820 It's Robin from "Mork & Mindy"! 964 00:35:11,861 --> 00:35:13,613 -Hi. Hi. -Hey, how you doing, man? 965 00:35:13,655 --> 00:35:15,782 Mike, I--I think we have a little bit of a problem. 966 00:35:15,824 --> 00:35:18,702 -Can I get an autograph? -Mike. Mike. Mike. 967 00:35:18,743 --> 00:35:21,329 Please. Can you really? Hey. 968 00:35:21,371 --> 00:35:25,208 -(suspenseful music) -Woman: My God, it's Robin Williams! 969 00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:28,545 Excuse me. Robin. 970 00:35:28,586 --> 00:35:33,466 (all shouting) 971 00:35:33,508 --> 00:35:35,635 Val. 972 00:35:35,677 --> 00:35:36,970 Robin! 973 00:35:37,012 --> 00:35:38,847 Val! 974 00:35:43,810 --> 00:35:46,896 (crowd shouting) 975 00:36:10,003 --> 00:36:11,713 (sighs) 976 00:36:11,755 --> 00:36:14,799 Mini Fresca on the rocks. 977 00:36:20,347 --> 00:36:23,350 So can I ask you about the romantic rumors? 978 00:36:23,391 --> 00:36:25,685 Me and Robin? I don't think so. 979 00:36:25,727 --> 00:36:28,646 Uh, word is he's quite the ladies' man. 980 00:36:28,688 --> 00:36:30,357 Not to be self-centered, 981 00:36:30,398 --> 00:36:32,525 but all your questions have been about Robin. 982 00:36:32,567 --> 00:36:34,569 Do you have any about me? 983 00:36:36,279 --> 00:36:38,490 Do you mind being a second banana? 984 00:36:38,531 --> 00:36:41,368 Hey, I'm happy just being in the fruit bowl. 985 00:36:41,409 --> 00:36:44,662 I make my living laughing at the funniest man in the world. 986 00:36:44,704 --> 00:36:47,290 Woman: Pam, wardrobe needs you. 987 00:36:47,332 --> 00:36:49,918 Sorry. Thanks for the interview. 988 00:36:49,959 --> 00:36:52,379 Yeah. 989 00:36:55,465 --> 00:36:57,425 That's a nice girl, but let's face it, 990 00:36:57,467 --> 00:37:00,512 be a big audience for a show called "Mork & Furniture." 991 00:37:06,601 --> 00:37:09,729 Garry, congratulations. Again. 992 00:37:09,771 --> 00:37:11,690 -Garry: Oh, yeah? For what? -For what? 993 00:37:11,731 --> 00:37:13,566 Last week "Happy Days," "Laverne," and "Mork" 994 00:37:13,608 --> 00:37:15,527 were all in the top five. 995 00:37:15,568 --> 00:37:17,904 Really? I never pay attention to the ratings. 996 00:37:17,946 --> 00:37:21,282 We have been strategizing for the new season, 997 00:37:21,324 --> 00:37:24,327 and we have some really great news. Exciting. 998 00:37:24,369 --> 00:37:26,079 Oh, good. As long as it's exciting. 999 00:37:26,121 --> 00:37:27,997 We decided that as good as "Mork" is, 1000 00:37:28,039 --> 00:37:30,041 we can make it even better. 1001 00:37:30,083 --> 00:37:31,710 Yeah. 1002 00:37:31,751 --> 00:37:34,295 Now, the audience we want for "Mork" 1003 00:37:34,337 --> 00:37:36,548 can't relate to old people like Conrad and Elizabeth. 1004 00:37:36,589 --> 00:37:38,675 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you saying? 1005 00:37:38,717 --> 00:37:40,844 You wanna fire actors from a hit show? 1006 00:37:40,885 --> 00:37:43,972 One word, Garry. Demographics. 1007 00:37:44,014 --> 00:37:46,891 We need younger actors to help pull in younger viewers. 1008 00:37:46,933 --> 00:37:50,311 But the best news? I'm giving you a new time slot. 1009 00:37:50,353 --> 00:37:51,855 Sunday's at 8:00. 1010 00:37:51,896 --> 00:37:54,399 Biggest viewing night of the week. 1011 00:37:54,441 --> 00:37:57,569 You wanna take a top-five show and change its time slot 1012 00:37:57,610 --> 00:38:00,780 and-- and put us up against "All in the Family"? 1013 00:38:00,822 --> 00:38:03,033 No, no, it's just "Archie Bunker's Place" now, 1014 00:38:03,074 --> 00:38:05,035 and they are so vulnerable. 1015 00:38:05,076 --> 00:38:07,996 It's called seeding. 1016 00:38:08,038 --> 00:38:09,581 We put our highest-rated shows on different nights 1017 00:38:09,622 --> 00:38:11,124 to help out the rest of the schedule. 1018 00:38:11,166 --> 00:38:13,418 Is that what you call it, Frank? 1019 00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:16,421 What is that, uh, strategic network speak for saying "killing a hit"? 1020 00:38:16,463 --> 00:38:18,423 You're not seeding us, Frank. 1021 00:38:19,632 --> 00:38:21,676 Burying us. 1022 00:38:26,014 --> 00:38:28,516 (speaking indistinct) 1023 00:38:28,558 --> 00:38:29,851 Please can we have an autograph? 1024 00:38:29,893 --> 00:38:31,603 Robin, we're your biggest fans. 1025 00:38:31,644 --> 00:38:33,855 Robin! We love you, Robin. 1026 00:38:33,897 --> 00:38:35,523 Please. 1027 00:38:43,948 --> 00:38:46,451 (door closes) 1028 00:38:53,541 --> 00:38:56,419 What'd you say to them? 1029 00:38:56,461 --> 00:38:58,380 Good night. 1030 00:38:58,421 --> 00:39:00,173 Bet you were polite. 1031 00:39:00,215 --> 00:39:03,051 Oh, well, yeah. They came all the way from the Valley. 1032 00:39:04,803 --> 00:39:06,680 What's wrong? 1033 00:39:06,721 --> 00:39:08,973 It upsets me. 1034 00:39:10,558 --> 00:39:12,102 Didn't used to. 1035 00:39:12,143 --> 00:39:14,688 We didn't used to be married. 1036 00:39:14,729 --> 00:39:19,067 And women weren't throwing themselves at you night and day. 1037 00:39:19,109 --> 00:39:21,152 Come on. You know I love you. 1038 00:39:21,194 --> 00:39:24,823 When's the last time we had dinner together? 1039 00:39:24,864 --> 00:39:26,866 The last time you took me to a movie? 1040 00:39:26,908 --> 00:39:30,161 The last time that we actually-- we actually talked? 1041 00:39:30,203 --> 00:39:32,706 -Now's good. -Ah, 3:00 A.M. 1042 00:39:32,747 --> 00:39:34,457 -Val. -Yeah, yeah. 1043 00:39:34,499 --> 00:39:36,126 You know what it's like? It's like I'm your audience. 1044 00:39:36,167 --> 00:39:38,753 You show up, do a set, then you're off to the next club. 1045 00:39:40,672 --> 00:39:44,134 Hey, you're right. I'm screwing up, okay? 1046 00:39:44,175 --> 00:39:45,885 Robin. 1047 00:39:45,927 --> 00:39:47,679 You can't spend your whole life 1048 00:39:47,721 --> 00:39:49,097 like a kid in a candy store 1049 00:39:49,139 --> 00:39:52,142 grabbing whatever's in front of you. 1050 00:39:52,183 --> 00:39:54,060 Well, I'll stop. 1051 00:39:54,102 --> 00:39:56,855 I will, okay? I'll stop. 1052 00:39:56,896 --> 00:39:59,899 You know I could never fall in love with anyone else, Val. 1053 00:40:01,609 --> 00:40:03,570 -Okay. -Okay. Okay. 1054 00:40:03,611 --> 00:40:05,989 So how about not sleeping with anyone else? 1055 00:40:11,870 --> 00:40:14,122 Val. 1056 00:40:16,666 --> 00:40:18,668 Okay. 1057 00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:29,679 (sighs) 1058 00:40:32,891 --> 00:40:34,559 Stop the car. 1059 00:40:34,601 --> 00:40:37,771 (man imitating tape rewinding) 1060 00:40:37,812 --> 00:40:41,107 So go ahead. Live the dream. 1061 00:40:41,149 --> 00:40:43,610 Carpe diem, which means "fish of the day." 1062 00:40:43,651 --> 00:40:46,738 -(laughter) -Thank you. Thank you very much. 1063 00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:49,115 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 1064 00:40:49,157 --> 00:40:52,619 Thank you. 1065 00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:55,163 A hundred bucks? 1066 00:41:02,837 --> 00:41:05,173 Okay, let's go. 1067 00:41:18,353 --> 00:41:20,563 No fever. 1068 00:41:20,605 --> 00:41:22,982 -But you seem pretty exhausted. -Yeah. 1069 00:41:23,024 --> 00:41:24,859 You're gonna have to get some rest. 1070 00:41:24,901 --> 00:41:26,611 Well, it's the last show of the season, Doc. 1071 00:41:26,653 --> 00:41:28,655 And the toughest. Mork's mixed emotions. 1072 00:41:28,697 --> 00:41:30,657 Look, you play a dozen different characters. 1073 00:41:30,699 --> 00:41:32,200 -Maybe we should shut down. -No. 1074 00:41:32,242 --> 00:41:34,661 Will you excuse us for a minute please? 1075 00:41:34,703 --> 00:41:37,288 Yeah, sure. 1076 00:41:39,082 --> 00:41:41,209 Thank you. 1077 00:41:44,879 --> 00:41:46,840 I was partying at DeNiro's last night. 1078 00:41:46,881 --> 00:41:49,134 Maybe I overdid it. I'll get a second wind. I always do. 1079 00:41:49,175 --> 00:41:51,177 Why risk your health? Look, there's still time to call it off. 1080 00:41:51,219 --> 00:41:52,971 Look, I'm doing the show, Harvey. 1081 00:41:53,013 --> 00:41:54,597 Nothing's wrong. I'm fine, and I'm doing the show. 1082 00:41:54,639 --> 00:41:56,224 Now get out! 1083 00:42:06,234 --> 00:42:08,236 Mindy, that's what I'm trying to tell you. They're taking over. 1084 00:42:08,278 --> 00:42:10,947 I'm pity, ugh. 1085 00:42:10,989 --> 00:42:13,700 Jealousy here. Damn, I wish I was-- 1086 00:42:13,742 --> 00:42:15,952 Fear here... 1087 00:42:15,994 --> 00:42:18,830 Oh, I'm love. Mindy-- 1088 00:42:18,872 --> 00:42:22,625 Lust here. Take your clothes off, grab some canola oil, 1089 00:42:22,667 --> 00:42:24,210 and let's talk-- Oh, who am I kidding? 1090 00:42:24,252 --> 00:42:26,171 We're not gonna talk. Give it up. Come on, woman. 1091 00:42:26,212 --> 00:42:27,881 Come on! Come on! Come on! 1092 00:42:27,922 --> 00:42:29,758 I need me some of that. Oh, yeah. 1093 00:42:29,799 --> 00:42:35,263 (cheers and applause) 1094 00:42:43,063 --> 00:42:46,858 I hate this. Believe me, I hate this. I do. 1095 00:42:46,900 --> 00:42:50,362 It's a dumb, stupid, cockamamie thing to do. 1096 00:42:50,403 --> 00:42:52,155 Not just to you, but to all of us. 1097 00:42:52,197 --> 00:42:53,740 To the show. 1098 00:42:53,782 --> 00:42:56,743 What can I do? It's their network. 1099 00:42:56,785 --> 00:43:00,747 They are such wieners. 1100 00:43:09,756 --> 00:43:12,342 I got news. It ain't good. 1101 00:43:12,384 --> 00:43:15,011 Nothing can be worse than what I just had to do. 1102 00:43:15,053 --> 00:43:17,722 The doctor just told me that Robin doesn't have the flu. 1103 00:43:17,764 --> 00:43:20,016 He doesn't have the flu? What is it? 1104 00:43:20,058 --> 00:43:21,976 Cocaine. 1105 00:43:35,490 --> 00:43:37,784 Have you seen Robin yet? How is he? 1106 00:43:37,826 --> 00:43:39,035 Fine, I assume. 1107 00:43:39,077 --> 00:43:40,328 Have you talked to him? 1108 00:43:40,370 --> 00:43:42,122 About...? 1109 00:43:42,163 --> 00:43:44,833 Oh, I don't know, sports, weather, his cocaine problem? 1110 00:43:44,874 --> 00:43:46,126 No. Well, I-- I haven't seen him yet. 1111 00:43:46,167 --> 00:43:49,212 Where's that son of a bitch, Williams? 1112 00:43:49,254 --> 00:43:51,798 I am sick and tired of waiting for me. 1113 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,842 If I ever treat me like this again, 1114 00:43:53,883 --> 00:43:55,343 I'm gonna give me a good spanking. 1115 00:43:55,385 --> 00:43:56,970 Or I could spank Pam. 1116 00:43:57,012 --> 00:43:59,305 No, no, be fair. Everyone drop 'em and spank. 1117 00:43:59,347 --> 00:44:01,725 -Hi. -Mwah. 1118 00:44:01,766 --> 00:44:03,685 Hey, I hate to interrupt you. I wanna introduce some new cast members. 1119 00:44:03,727 --> 00:44:05,770 -Jay Thomas. -Mr. Thomas, I listen to you on the radio. 1120 00:44:05,812 --> 00:44:08,148 -You're funny. -Thanks. I sure am, so watch your back, buster. 1121 00:44:08,189 --> 00:44:10,316 And the lovely Gina Hecht. 1122 00:44:10,358 --> 00:44:11,735 Oh, and what are you? 1123 00:44:11,776 --> 00:44:13,945 I'm cute. So watch your back, lady. 1124 00:44:13,987 --> 00:44:15,697 (laughter) 1125 00:44:15,739 --> 00:44:18,158 "Mork in Wonderland." 1126 00:44:18,199 --> 00:44:20,410 -Page one. -Here we go. 1127 00:44:20,452 --> 00:44:22,037 Back into the rabbit hole. 1128 00:44:27,208 --> 00:44:28,918 So what'd you think of the script? 1129 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:30,337 Oh, just another lame sitcom 1130 00:44:30,378 --> 00:44:32,255 except when monkey boy comes out to act stupid. 1131 00:44:32,297 --> 00:44:34,090 At least they finally gave you some interesting bits. 1132 00:44:34,132 --> 00:44:36,092 Yeah, even though I hadn't quite perfected 1133 00:44:36,134 --> 00:44:38,470 saying, "Mork, what are you doing?" 1134 00:44:38,511 --> 00:44:40,930 Can't believe how they treated Elizabeth and Conrad. 1135 00:44:40,972 --> 00:44:42,974 Yeah, I hope ABC knows what it's doing. 1136 00:44:43,016 --> 00:44:45,101 Pam, please, these are network executives. 1137 00:44:45,143 --> 00:44:47,062 Okay, so last week they were flipping burgers. 1138 00:44:47,103 --> 00:44:49,064 Yeah, well, I'm probably next. 1139 00:44:49,105 --> 00:44:52,734 ABC is now jiggle TV, and I got nothin' to jiggle. 1140 00:44:52,776 --> 00:44:55,195 Sure you do. Your eyebrows, your hair, your pancreas. 1141 00:44:55,236 --> 00:44:57,197 Guys'll go nuts over a jigglin' pancreas. 1142 00:44:57,238 --> 00:44:59,366 -You're a sick man. -Au contraire, mon petit. 1143 00:44:59,407 --> 00:45:01,117 Never felt better. 1144 00:45:01,159 --> 00:45:02,911 Things were getting weird, so over hiatus 1145 00:45:02,952 --> 00:45:04,496 I pulled out of the fast lane and into a rest stop. 1146 00:45:04,537 --> 00:45:06,998 Went to San Francisco, recharged, recorded a new album. 1147 00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:10,126 -And how's Val? -Oh, great. She got to see some friends. 1148 00:45:10,168 --> 00:45:13,797 -And be with you finally. -Yeah, we had some time. 1149 00:45:13,838 --> 00:45:17,050 Well, if you kids are ready, let's put on a show, huh? 1150 00:45:17,092 --> 00:45:19,219 Eh, blow it out your shazbot. 1151 00:45:19,260 --> 00:45:21,763 I got your nanu nanu right here, buddy. 1152 00:45:23,473 --> 00:45:25,558 Mork, I don't understand. 1153 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,435 What happened with you and that woman? 1154 00:45:27,477 --> 00:45:29,771 Nothing. I spent the night and now she's having a baby. 1155 00:45:29,813 --> 00:45:31,064 (laughter) 1156 00:45:31,106 --> 00:45:32,315 -A baby? -Wrong laugh. 1157 00:45:32,357 --> 00:45:34,275 -Yeah. -How can a laugh be wrong? 1158 00:45:34,317 --> 00:45:37,070 He's playing Mork taunting Mindy that he had sex. 1159 00:45:37,112 --> 00:45:39,280 The whole point of the scene is nothing happened. 1160 00:45:39,322 --> 00:45:40,990 Harvey knows. 1161 00:45:41,032 --> 00:45:43,326 It's just a question of what he'll do about it. 1162 00:45:45,912 --> 00:45:48,373 -Mork... -(laughter) 1163 00:45:48,415 --> 00:45:50,917 Uh, Pam? 1164 00:45:50,959 --> 00:45:52,544 Could you play that less angry and more hurt please? 1165 00:45:52,585 --> 00:45:54,462 Yeah. 1166 00:45:54,504 --> 00:45:57,090 Robin, when you say that nothing happened, 1167 00:45:57,132 --> 00:45:59,509 it comes off too suggestive. 1168 00:45:59,551 --> 00:46:01,219 We wanna preserve Mork's innocence. 1169 00:46:01,261 --> 00:46:03,096 Mork's been on Earth a year now. He's not an idiot. 1170 00:46:03,138 --> 00:46:04,931 -He's learned a few things. -Yeah, we know that. 1171 00:46:04,973 --> 00:46:06,182 The first year it's naive, the second year it's stupid, 1172 00:46:06,224 --> 00:46:07,934 and I don't wanna play stupid. 1173 00:46:07,976 --> 00:46:09,602 Instead of jumping through hoops to try to find way 1174 00:46:09,644 --> 00:46:11,146 to preserve Mork's innocence, 1175 00:46:11,187 --> 00:46:12,439 why don't we get out on the edge? 1176 00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:16,192 Do some satire. Take a chance. 1177 00:46:16,234 --> 00:46:18,069 L-Let me think about it. 1178 00:46:18,111 --> 00:46:23,533 And, um, w-we'll just take it from the top. 1179 00:46:26,161 --> 00:46:28,955 We got problems. 1180 00:46:28,997 --> 00:46:30,999 Robin: Makes me feel like I'm in Elvira's bedroom. Yes. 1181 00:46:31,041 --> 00:46:33,626 Makes me thirsty and horny. Bartender, quick, an acne pimple. 1182 00:46:33,668 --> 00:46:36,254 No, no, you know, I've given up alcohol, actually. 1183 00:46:36,296 --> 00:46:38,840 I only do water now. It doesn't matter to me that fish make love in it. 1184 00:46:38,882 --> 00:46:41,092 Actually, can I have a sip of your water here, sir? 1185 00:46:41,134 --> 00:46:42,844 And probably one of your girlfriend later. 1186 00:46:42,886 --> 00:46:45,138 Hey, Robin, do Mork. Nanu nanu. 1187 00:46:45,180 --> 00:46:47,474 No. No, no, no, no. I don't do that stuff here. 1188 00:46:47,515 --> 00:46:49,476 This is my refuge from reality. 1189 00:46:49,517 --> 00:46:51,144 No Mork. Okay, moving on. 1190 00:46:51,186 --> 00:46:52,604 -Come on. Mork. -Do Mork. 1191 00:46:52,645 --> 00:46:53,938 Please. Okay, I'm going to be nice. 1192 00:46:53,980 --> 00:46:54,981 -Come on, do Mork! -Okay. 1193 00:46:55,023 --> 00:46:57,025 Man: Mork sucks! 1194 00:46:57,067 --> 00:46:59,235 Oh, well, tell us how you really feel. Show yourself, sir. 1195 00:47:01,529 --> 00:47:05,325 Mork sucks... and you suck! 1196 00:47:05,367 --> 00:47:07,243 (audience clamoring) 1197 00:47:07,285 --> 00:47:09,329 Oh, a wise guy! Shut up. Leave him alone. 1198 00:47:09,371 --> 00:47:11,247 (barks) 1199 00:47:11,289 --> 00:47:14,376 (grunting) 1200 00:47:15,418 --> 00:47:18,004 John Belushi. I'm sleeping with your sister. 1201 00:47:18,046 --> 00:47:20,090 Yeah, I heard, but I gotta tell ya, she usually gets 10 bucks. 1202 00:47:20,131 --> 00:47:21,299 Hey, I was a little short that night. 1203 00:47:21,341 --> 00:47:22,467 Oh, that's what she said. 1204 00:47:22,509 --> 00:47:24,469 When's the comedy start? 1205 00:47:24,511 --> 00:47:26,262 Soon as you come up here and take your clothes off, big daddy. 1206 00:47:26,304 --> 00:47:29,099 Either I'm gonna kick your ass or buy you a kamikaze. 1207 00:47:29,140 --> 00:47:31,309 Oh. Did you say kiss my ass? 1208 00:47:31,351 --> 00:47:35,021 Okay. But no tongues, you big dirty samurai, you. 1209 00:47:35,063 --> 00:47:37,190 (laughter) 1210 00:47:41,528 --> 00:47:44,406 Mm. 1211 00:47:44,447 --> 00:47:46,366 Pisses me off when people type-cast me. 1212 00:47:46,408 --> 00:47:48,159 I will not become Bob Denver. 1213 00:47:48,201 --> 00:47:50,537 Mm. What's the point of spending your life doing crap? 1214 00:47:50,578 --> 00:47:53,039 Right on, brother. Thanks for saving my ass out there. 1215 00:47:53,081 --> 00:47:56,251 My pleasure. 'Cause from now on, sweetie pie, 1216 00:47:56,292 --> 00:47:59,587 your ass is mine. 1217 00:47:59,629 --> 00:48:04,467 So, uh, I just got a new pair of snow shoes. 1218 00:48:04,509 --> 00:48:06,469 Wanna come out to the parking lot and see 'em? 1219 00:48:08,138 --> 00:48:10,265 Well, there's no business like snow business. 1220 00:48:10,306 --> 00:48:12,559 Like no business I know. 1221 00:48:19,482 --> 00:48:23,486 -Hello, Frank. -First, we're not worried about the ratings at all. 1222 00:48:23,528 --> 00:48:25,572 We expected it. 1223 00:48:25,613 --> 00:48:27,157 You're up against Archie Bunker. 1224 00:48:27,198 --> 00:48:29,284 But I got the way to beat 'em. 1225 00:48:29,325 --> 00:48:30,994 You spice things up. 1226 00:48:31,036 --> 00:48:33,121 Now, we all love Pam, but let's face it. 1227 00:48:33,163 --> 00:48:35,707 She's cute and we need sexy. 1228 00:48:35,749 --> 00:48:37,250 Oh, hold on, Frank. 1229 00:48:37,292 --> 00:48:39,586 You guys took away two characters. 1230 00:48:39,627 --> 00:48:42,380 You added new ones, you stuck us in a brutal time slot. 1231 00:48:42,422 --> 00:48:45,091 Please, do me a favor. Don't help us anymore. 1232 00:48:45,133 --> 00:48:47,594 Just sprinkle in some sex. 1233 00:48:47,635 --> 00:48:50,472 Look how it's working for "Charlie's Angels" and "Three's Company." 1234 00:48:50,513 --> 00:48:53,433 Fine. We'll have Robin dye his hair blonde 1235 00:48:53,475 --> 00:48:55,018 and we'll stick him in a bikini. 1236 00:48:55,060 --> 00:48:56,644 Trust me on this. 1237 00:48:56,686 --> 00:48:59,230 Make it sexy. Your viewers will come back. 1238 00:48:59,272 --> 00:49:01,191 (line clicks, dial tone) 1239 00:49:01,232 --> 00:49:02,984 All the cockamamie ideas. 1240 00:49:03,026 --> 00:49:04,444 What am I supposed to do? 1241 00:49:04,486 --> 00:49:06,196 Write a guest-starring role for Raquel Welch? 1242 00:49:07,655 --> 00:49:10,408 It's not so much that I didn't get to destroy the Earth, 1243 00:49:10,450 --> 00:49:13,119 it's that I never got that oatmeal cookie recipe. 1244 00:49:13,161 --> 00:49:14,537 (laughs) 1245 00:49:14,579 --> 00:49:17,040 And fade out. 1246 00:49:17,082 --> 00:49:19,125 I don't get to do a lot of comedy. 1247 00:49:19,167 --> 00:49:21,044 -This is such a thrill for me. -Please. 1248 00:49:21,086 --> 00:49:22,629 I passed "thrill" an hour ago. 1249 00:49:22,671 --> 00:49:25,173 Right now my libido's going, "Help me. Help me." 1250 00:49:25,215 --> 00:49:26,800 See you later, Raquel. 1251 00:49:26,841 --> 00:49:28,802 Harvey, the script is wonderful. 1252 00:49:28,843 --> 00:49:30,720 Uh, but I had an idea. 1253 00:49:30,762 --> 00:49:34,099 You know the Playboy Playmate you hired to be my lieutenant? 1254 00:49:34,140 --> 00:49:36,017 What if she were wearing a dog mask? 1255 00:49:36,059 --> 00:49:37,394 As if she were my pet. 1256 00:49:39,062 --> 00:49:42,148 That's interesting. 1257 00:49:42,190 --> 00:49:43,650 I'll think about it. 1258 00:49:43,692 --> 00:49:45,485 Thanks. 1259 00:49:45,527 --> 00:49:47,195 Thank you. 1260 00:49:47,237 --> 00:49:49,489 Oh, uh, one other thing. 1261 00:49:49,531 --> 00:49:51,199 Could you tell the costume lady 1262 00:49:51,241 --> 00:49:53,118 I love my outfit, 1263 00:49:53,159 --> 00:49:54,494 but it's important to favor the left. 1264 00:49:54,536 --> 00:49:56,538 I'm sorry. The left--left what? 1265 00:49:56,579 --> 00:49:59,708 Breast. I always favor my left breast. 1266 00:50:01,167 --> 00:50:03,670 Funny. I like 'em both. 1267 00:50:03,712 --> 00:50:05,672 Yeah. 1268 00:50:05,714 --> 00:50:08,800 We've learned that extreme heat loosens inhibitions. 1269 00:50:08,842 --> 00:50:12,262 (imitates foreign language) 1270 00:50:12,303 --> 00:50:14,806 You see, getting information out of Orkans isn't hard. 1271 00:50:14,848 --> 00:50:16,683 Oh, not yet, but it's getting there. 1272 00:50:16,725 --> 00:50:19,352 (laughter) 1273 00:50:19,394 --> 00:50:21,688 Now, see, that's really the wrong kind of laugh. 1274 00:50:21,730 --> 00:50:23,690 Are you ready for more torture? 1275 00:50:23,732 --> 00:50:26,568 Oh, no. I mean, really, no! 1276 00:50:28,111 --> 00:50:30,697 -Cut. -Sherman, I'm gonna need a new swimsuit. 1277 00:50:30,739 --> 00:50:33,616 (laughter) 1278 00:50:33,658 --> 00:50:35,702 This jiggle is killing us. 1279 00:50:35,744 --> 00:50:37,704 We had a hit show, and we're letting it go down the sewer. 1280 00:50:37,746 --> 00:50:40,123 Okay, we're running behind here. let's try it again. 1281 00:50:40,165 --> 00:50:41,541 Okay, here we go. 1282 00:50:41,583 --> 00:50:43,585 -On the bell. -(bell rings) 1283 00:50:47,839 --> 00:50:51,426 (laughs) 1284 00:50:51,468 --> 00:50:53,303 What are all you people doing in my bedroom? 1285 00:50:53,345 --> 00:50:54,804 Get the hell out! All of you. 1286 00:50:54,846 --> 00:50:57,390 Oh, look. A star on Hollywood Boulevard. 1287 00:50:57,432 --> 00:50:58,600 Don't you have to be dead to get one of those? 1288 00:50:58,641 --> 00:51:01,686 (sniffs) Eh, close enough. 1289 00:51:01,728 --> 00:51:03,646 -Come on. -If I could feel anything, 1290 00:51:03,688 --> 00:51:05,231 I think I'd be in pain. 1291 00:51:05,273 --> 00:51:06,733 -(groans) -Gravity. Ain't she a bitch? 1292 00:51:06,775 --> 00:51:08,610 Come on. 1293 00:51:16,576 --> 00:51:18,578 John: Oh, now this is my kinda place. 1294 00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:21,164 Yeah, I'll believe that when the board of health closes it down. 1295 00:51:21,206 --> 00:51:24,584 (laughs) I haven't seen you around, man. I miss you. 1296 00:51:24,626 --> 00:51:27,420 Yeah, I don't go to the clubs much anymore, John. 1297 00:51:27,462 --> 00:51:29,714 When I go out, I cause a riot. 1298 00:51:29,756 --> 00:51:32,342 Been living my life like a hemophiliac in a razor-blade factory. 1299 00:51:32,384 --> 00:51:34,302 I heard. 1300 00:51:35,970 --> 00:51:37,472 How's the show, huh? 1301 00:51:37,514 --> 00:51:38,890 Oh, the day job. 1302 00:51:38,932 --> 00:51:40,600 Well, I got a wonderful future behind me. 1303 00:51:40,642 --> 00:51:42,185 At least things are horrible at home. 1304 00:51:42,227 --> 00:51:43,812 I don't really know your wife. 1305 00:51:43,853 --> 00:51:45,647 That makes two of us. 1306 00:51:45,689 --> 00:51:47,941 Best way to escape the storm is to run right into it. 1307 00:51:47,982 --> 00:51:51,945 Everyone wants me to be that cute, lovable little alien they see every week. 1308 00:51:51,986 --> 00:51:55,365 "Oh, he's so cute." All so safe. I hate being safe. 1309 00:51:55,407 --> 00:51:56,616 Better sorry than safe, right? 1310 00:51:56,658 --> 00:51:58,618 Here you go. 1311 00:51:58,660 --> 00:52:01,329 Hey, didn't you, uh, didn't you just book the lead in "Popeye"? 1312 00:52:01,371 --> 00:52:03,331 It's my first movie. 1313 00:52:03,373 --> 00:52:06,418 Yeah, it's cool, man. It's gonna be everything "Mork" isn't. 1314 00:52:06,459 --> 00:52:08,253 I mean, I met with Altman. The guy's a genius. 1315 00:52:08,294 --> 00:52:10,547 He's all about improv. He wants to-- 1316 00:52:10,588 --> 00:52:13,299 -Hey, Robin Williams! -Hey. 1317 00:52:13,341 --> 00:52:14,884 Hey, do Mork. 1318 00:52:14,926 --> 00:52:17,178 No. Thank you very much for asking. 1319 00:52:17,220 --> 00:52:18,847 Hey, easy. Easy. 1320 00:52:18,888 --> 00:52:21,641 Guy's up for Best Supporting Drunk in a Sleazy Bar. 1321 00:52:21,683 --> 00:52:26,229 Oh, hey. You won a Golden Globe, right? 1322 00:52:26,271 --> 00:52:28,314 Gotcha. 1323 00:52:28,356 --> 00:52:30,316 How'd you feel about a pair of 'em you can smack your face between? 1324 00:52:31,568 --> 00:52:33,361 Come on. 1325 00:52:33,403 --> 00:52:36,698 Hello. How are you two lovely ladies? 1326 00:52:36,740 --> 00:52:40,285 Excuse me. You guys ever seen the inside of a limousine before? 1327 00:52:40,326 --> 00:52:42,829 You gotta meet my friend Robin. Come over here. 1328 00:52:42,871 --> 00:52:44,414 (women laugh) 1329 00:52:51,546 --> 00:52:54,424 Oh... (keys clatter) 1330 00:52:56,009 --> 00:52:59,679 Okay, yep. She wins another one. 1331 00:52:59,721 --> 00:53:02,849 Honey, I'm home. And I'm early. 1332 00:53:02,891 --> 00:53:05,477 Oh, it's about in the '80s. 1333 00:53:08,897 --> 00:53:10,440 This can't go on. 1334 00:53:10,482 --> 00:53:11,649 You look great, Val. 1335 00:53:11,691 --> 00:53:14,944 Robin, I need you to listen to me. 1336 00:53:14,986 --> 00:53:17,864 This is not working. 1337 00:53:17,906 --> 00:53:19,866 You're barely ever home, and-- and when you are, 1338 00:53:19,908 --> 00:53:22,410 you're too exhausted to get out of bed. 1339 00:53:22,452 --> 00:53:25,789 And now you'll be gone for another three months doing "Popeye." 1340 00:53:25,830 --> 00:53:29,793 You're gonna come, Val. We'll have a blast. 1341 00:53:29,834 --> 00:53:31,378 I can't. I can't deal with this. 1342 00:53:31,419 --> 00:53:33,797 You don't know what it's like. 1343 00:53:33,838 --> 00:53:35,882 It's insane. 1344 00:53:35,924 --> 00:53:37,884 Everyone wants a piece of me. 1345 00:53:37,926 --> 00:53:39,719 "Hey, Robin! Robin!" 1346 00:53:39,761 --> 00:53:41,888 (laughs) 1347 00:53:41,930 --> 00:53:43,848 I'm struggling to make the show better, 1348 00:53:43,890 --> 00:53:46,935 Val, I am, and I just wanna keep holding on 1349 00:53:46,976 --> 00:53:48,603 to a tiny piece of my sanity. 1350 00:53:48,645 --> 00:53:51,314 No! No, I don't know what it's like to be you. 1351 00:53:51,356 --> 00:53:52,857 But I know what it's like to be me. 1352 00:53:52,899 --> 00:53:54,943 It's lonely, and it hurts. 1353 00:53:59,406 --> 00:54:01,658 I hate that you're lonely, Val. 1354 00:54:01,700 --> 00:54:03,868 Well, what do you expect when you're running around all the time 1355 00:54:03,910 --> 00:54:05,453 with people like Belushi? 1356 00:54:06,329 --> 00:54:09,332 It feels like you'd rather be with him than with me. 1357 00:54:11,918 --> 00:54:15,505 Well, yeah, I mean, Belushi can relate to me. 1358 00:54:15,547 --> 00:54:17,048 Oh, and I can't? 1359 00:54:17,090 --> 00:54:20,635 Because I'm not a star? 1360 00:54:20,677 --> 00:54:23,388 Let me just rest for a second, Val. 1361 00:54:25,473 --> 00:54:26,933 I can't stay here. 1362 00:54:26,975 --> 00:54:30,520 This house is to... empty. 1363 00:54:30,562 --> 00:54:35,025 Furniture is possessions, Val. Where are you going? 1364 00:54:35,066 --> 00:54:37,110 Stephanie already said I could stay with her. 1365 00:54:37,152 --> 00:54:39,821 Hang on a second, Val. Val. 1366 00:54:39,863 --> 00:54:42,574 Fine. 1367 00:54:42,615 --> 00:54:45,785 Got the whole house to myself! 1368 00:54:45,827 --> 00:54:50,081 (breathes heavily) 1369 00:54:52,667 --> 00:54:54,336 Frank: Hello, Garry. 1370 00:54:54,377 --> 00:54:56,338 Garry: Frank, how's every little thing? 1371 00:54:56,379 --> 00:54:57,964 Your timing's impeccable. 1372 00:54:58,006 --> 00:54:59,507 Yeah, before you go any further, 1373 00:54:59,549 --> 00:55:00,967 we know that Mork's in the toilet, 1374 00:55:01,009 --> 00:55:02,677 but we also know how to fix it. 1375 00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:06,931 but I also wanna rehire Conrad and Elizabeth. 1376 00:55:06,973 --> 00:55:09,142 Ooh. Mm. 1377 00:55:09,184 --> 00:55:12,645 Look, we gotta get back to the fun, the magic of that first season. 1378 00:55:12,687 --> 00:55:15,523 The sexing it up didn't work. No offense. 1379 00:55:15,565 --> 00:55:18,526 Put us back on Thursday night. 1380 00:55:18,568 --> 00:55:20,528 Let us do what we do best. 1381 00:55:24,574 --> 00:55:28,536 Well... all right. Give it a try. 1382 00:55:29,704 --> 00:55:31,373 So what do I do? 1383 00:55:31,414 --> 00:55:32,957 I just physically drag him out of his trailer? 1384 00:55:32,999 --> 00:55:35,126 (laughs) Good luck. 1385 00:55:35,168 --> 00:55:36,961 It's the drugs. 1386 00:55:37,003 --> 00:55:38,713 Maybe I should just shut down for a day. 1387 00:55:38,755 --> 00:55:42,008 Oh, no, don't do that. 1388 00:55:42,050 --> 00:55:44,636 I'll go talk to him. 1389 00:55:48,890 --> 00:55:51,434 Robin? 1390 00:55:53,978 --> 00:55:55,814 Robin. 1391 00:55:55,855 --> 00:55:58,024 I can't go out there. 1392 00:55:58,066 --> 00:55:59,943 Why? What--What is it? 1393 00:55:59,984 --> 00:56:03,822 Val left. She left me. 1394 00:56:03,863 --> 00:56:05,990 She... She's gone. 1395 00:56:20,922 --> 00:56:22,924 So what do you think of all this, Robin? 1396 00:56:22,966 --> 00:56:24,801 What do I think? 1397 00:56:24,843 --> 00:56:26,511 I'm sipping mai tais with Robert Evans 1398 00:56:26,553 --> 00:56:28,179 on a Mediterranean island where I'm starring 1399 00:56:28,221 --> 00:56:30,098 in a major studio feature directed by a cinematic genius. 1400 00:56:30,140 --> 00:56:32,809 Went to sleep Bozo the Clown and woke up Robert DeNiro. 1401 00:56:32,851 --> 00:56:34,602 (laughs) 1402 00:56:34,644 --> 00:56:36,980 Yeah. Is it a great life? 1403 00:56:37,022 --> 00:56:39,107 You betcha. 1404 00:56:39,149 --> 00:56:41,067 But will it last? No. 1405 00:56:41,109 --> 00:56:42,944 Should you enjoy it while you can? 1406 00:56:42,986 --> 00:56:44,946 Well, you damn well better, kid. 1407 00:56:44,988 --> 00:56:46,906 It's so different than "Mork." 1408 00:56:46,948 --> 00:56:48,575 You know, on TV it's, "Here's the script. 1409 00:56:48,616 --> 00:56:49,993 Here are the lines. Missed 'em. Already shot it. 1410 00:56:50,035 --> 00:56:51,661 You were nominated for an Emmy. You lost. 1411 00:56:51,703 --> 00:56:53,038 Contract renewal. 1412 00:56:53,079 --> 00:56:54,581 Five more years in the sitcom mines." 1413 00:56:54,622 --> 00:56:56,541 This is a big playground. 1414 00:56:56,583 --> 00:56:58,877 I mean, I can be creative. And Altman's an actor's dream. 1415 00:56:58,918 --> 00:57:01,087 "Don't worry about the lines. 1416 00:57:01,129 --> 00:57:03,882 We only have scripts so there's something for short people to sit on." 1417 00:57:05,633 --> 00:57:09,596 Yeah. What the hell to do in Malta on the weekends. 1418 00:57:09,637 --> 00:57:11,139 Doesn't matter to me. 1419 00:57:11,181 --> 00:57:13,266 I'm an unhappily married man. 1420 00:57:13,308 --> 00:57:15,477 Yeah, I heard you and the wife split up. 1421 00:57:15,518 --> 00:57:17,270 On again, off again, on again, off again. 1422 00:57:17,312 --> 00:57:19,814 Ours is the racquetball of relationships. 1423 00:57:19,856 --> 00:57:24,235 Val's a great lady. We just need to work out a few things. 1424 00:57:24,277 --> 00:57:26,821 Wives are great. I've had four. 1425 00:57:26,863 --> 00:57:30,575 But, being a major star, rich, and single, 1426 00:57:30,617 --> 00:57:33,161 well, that ain't too shabby either. 1427 00:57:33,203 --> 00:57:34,871 Take it from me, kid. 1428 00:57:34,913 --> 00:57:38,291 Life is a mai tai, 1429 00:57:38,333 --> 00:57:41,753 and women are the cherries on top. 1430 00:57:43,171 --> 00:57:46,007 And speaking of cherries, 1431 00:57:46,049 --> 00:57:48,802 are you interested? 1432 00:58:04,192 --> 00:58:07,070 What's wrong? 1433 00:58:07,112 --> 00:58:09,614 Nothing. 1434 00:58:09,656 --> 00:58:11,825 Penny and Cindy hired people to read their scripts 1435 00:58:11,866 --> 00:58:13,243 and count their lines. 1436 00:58:13,284 --> 00:58:15,829 Soon they're gonna be counting syllables. 1437 00:58:15,870 --> 00:58:18,832 Ronnie Howard wants to leave "Happy Days." 1438 00:58:18,873 --> 00:58:20,250 It's gonna be harder to pretend 1439 00:58:20,291 --> 00:58:22,168 the rest of the cast is still teenagers 1440 00:58:22,210 --> 00:58:24,879 when they're using walkers. 1441 00:58:27,716 --> 00:58:30,093 You don't have bad news for me, do ya? 1442 00:58:30,135 --> 00:58:33,054 Oh, no. Everything sees fine. 1443 00:58:33,096 --> 00:58:35,223 Good. So what? 1444 00:58:35,265 --> 00:58:38,268 So Robin Williams, he's back from playing "Popeye"? 1445 00:58:38,309 --> 00:58:40,311 -That's what I'm told. -Yeah? 1446 00:58:40,353 --> 00:58:42,772 -Are he and Val together? -I don't know. 1447 00:58:44,107 --> 00:58:45,692 What about the drugs? 1448 00:58:45,734 --> 00:58:47,569 Oh, the drugs. 1449 00:58:47,610 --> 00:58:49,696 I heard the "Popeye" set was like a Roman orgy. 1450 00:58:49,738 --> 00:58:51,573 Drugs, booze, sex. 1451 00:58:51,614 --> 00:58:52,782 Why do I work in TV? 1452 00:58:55,744 --> 00:59:00,665 Harvey, we can't let what happened last year happen this year. 1453 00:59:00,707 --> 00:59:02,709 Robin's not a comedy machine. 1454 00:59:02,751 --> 00:59:04,127 He's a person. 1455 00:59:04,169 --> 00:59:06,755 His problems are our problems. 1456 00:59:06,796 --> 00:59:09,716 Be a mensch. Deal with this. Please. 1457 00:59:09,758 --> 00:59:12,093 Before it blows up in our faces. 1458 00:59:15,055 --> 00:59:18,224 (knock at door) 1459 00:59:18,266 --> 00:59:20,352 -Harvey. -Hi. 1460 00:59:20,393 --> 00:59:23,605 -Hi. -Can I come in? 1461 00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:27,901 -Is Robin okay? -Yes. Yes. 1462 00:59:27,942 --> 00:59:32,197 No, I mean, uh... Can we talk? 1463 00:59:32,238 --> 00:59:34,282 Yeah. 1464 00:59:43,166 --> 00:59:47,337 I realize this might be a bit personal, but... 1465 00:59:47,379 --> 00:59:51,174 you need to know that Robin's been going through a lot, 1466 00:59:51,216 --> 00:59:56,638 and it's not gonna get any easier. 1467 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:58,973 He needs someone by his side. 1468 00:59:59,015 --> 01:00:01,643 Right. He needs. 1469 01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:05,438 Yeah. And, uh, if he needs help, 1470 01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:08,024 we'll get him help. 1471 01:00:08,066 --> 01:00:11,820 But I've seen you two together. 1472 01:00:11,861 --> 01:00:14,072 I know how happy he is when he's with you. 1473 01:00:14,114 --> 01:00:17,242 The problem is not when he's with me. 1474 01:00:17,283 --> 01:00:19,828 It's when he isn't. 1475 01:00:21,996 --> 01:00:24,416 (laughs) So now they're judging me for what I do off-set. 1476 01:00:24,457 --> 01:00:26,835 It's my life, Val. 1477 01:00:26,876 --> 01:00:28,837 What you do affects a lot of people. 1478 01:00:28,878 --> 01:00:29,796 Yeah, well, I can handle it. 1479 01:00:29,838 --> 01:00:31,089 I mean, I am handling it. 1480 01:00:31,131 --> 01:00:32,424 I'm young and things are going great. 1481 01:00:32,465 --> 01:00:34,092 Why shouldn't I enjoy myself? 1482 01:00:34,134 --> 01:00:35,719 They really do care about you, Robin. 1483 01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,303 The same way that I do. 1484 01:00:37,345 --> 01:00:39,097 Oh, yeah, yeah, well, that makes sense, 1485 01:00:39,139 --> 01:00:40,974 'cause none of them were sleeping with me either. 1486 01:00:42,851 --> 01:00:44,269 You're hopeless. 1487 01:00:44,310 --> 01:00:48,148 Does that mean you love me? You love me? 1488 01:00:48,189 --> 01:00:50,108 Come back. 1489 01:00:51,860 --> 01:00:54,320 I don't think I ever really left, Robin. 1490 01:00:54,362 --> 01:00:56,823 I think you did. 1491 01:00:56,865 --> 01:00:58,491 But I'm here now. 1492 01:00:58,533 --> 01:01:00,827 And I wanna stay, but it won't work unless you change. 1493 01:01:00,869 --> 01:01:02,287 No, okay. Yeah. I'll change. I'll change. 1494 01:01:02,328 --> 01:01:03,329 I promise. I'll change. 1495 01:01:03,371 --> 01:01:04,748 But I'll do it for you. 1496 01:01:04,789 --> 01:01:06,207 Okay? Not for them. 1497 01:01:07,459 --> 01:01:08,960 Okay. 1498 01:01:09,002 --> 01:01:11,004 Robin: Okay. 1499 01:01:28,271 --> 01:01:29,481 -Hey. -Hey. 1500 01:01:29,522 --> 01:01:31,024 (blows raspberry) Oh. Sorry. 1501 01:01:31,066 --> 01:01:32,942 Hey there, Mr. Movie Star. 1502 01:01:32,984 --> 01:01:35,195 -Hi, Sherman. -Good to see you, man. 1503 01:01:35,236 --> 01:01:36,863 Good to see you. 1504 01:01:36,905 --> 01:01:38,114 -Robin. -Harvey. 1505 01:01:38,156 --> 01:01:39,199 It's great to see you. 1506 01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,368 -Hey, Pam. -Hey. 1507 01:01:41,409 --> 01:01:44,120 (laughs) 1508 01:01:44,162 --> 01:01:46,498 Hey, everybody. Welcome back. 1509 01:01:46,539 --> 01:01:49,209 Welcome back. I hope you're all nice and rested. 1510 01:01:49,250 --> 01:01:50,543 Gather 'round here. Gather 'round. 1511 01:01:50,585 --> 01:01:52,253 I have an announcement to make. 1512 01:01:52,295 --> 01:01:54,005 Some really good news. 1513 01:01:54,047 --> 01:01:56,508 I got three magic words for you. 1514 01:01:56,549 --> 01:01:58,551 No... more... jiggle! 1515 01:01:58,593 --> 01:02:01,137 -Oh, hallelujah. -(cheers and applause) 1516 01:02:01,179 --> 01:02:03,515 And to prove I'm a man of my word, 1517 01:02:03,556 --> 01:02:07,060 let me reintroduce two of our old friends. 1518 01:02:07,102 --> 01:02:08,520 Ta-da! 1519 01:02:08,561 --> 01:02:11,564 Elizabeth, you sex kitten, you! (growls) 1520 01:02:11,606 --> 01:02:14,317 Ooh. And, Conrad, thank God. 1521 01:02:14,359 --> 01:02:17,237 Now we can bring back the boring, middle-aged white guy viewers. 1522 01:02:17,278 --> 01:02:19,322 Garry: Hey, I have some more good news. 1523 01:02:19,364 --> 01:02:22,784 So we're back where we belong on Thursday night, huh? 1524 01:02:22,826 --> 01:02:26,996 We're gonna be opposite "The Waltons" and "Buck Rogers." 1525 01:02:27,038 --> 01:02:31,001 So do good, have fun, make America happy. 1526 01:02:33,128 --> 01:02:34,504 Mwah. 1527 01:02:37,298 --> 01:02:39,801 Good morrow, gentle Daddy. 1528 01:02:39,843 --> 01:02:41,469 Fair Mindred. 1529 01:02:41,511 --> 01:02:43,430 Me thinks the coactive crow a corral 1530 01:02:43,471 --> 01:02:46,391 upon your radiant visages to swell my beating breast. 1531 01:02:46,433 --> 01:02:49,102 (laughs) Oh, that was terrible. Let's try it again. 1532 01:02:49,144 --> 01:02:50,562 -Robin, that was fine. -Yeah, it was funny. 1533 01:02:50,603 --> 01:02:53,314 No, no, I can do it funnier. Here we go. 1534 01:02:53,356 --> 01:02:56,276 (high-pitched) Good morrow, Lord Daddington. 1535 01:02:56,317 --> 01:02:58,028 Fair Mindred-- No, no, that sucketh. 1536 01:02:58,069 --> 01:02:59,029 Okay, hang on. Here we go. 1537 01:02:59,070 --> 01:03:00,989 And good Daddy-O. 1538 01:03:01,031 --> 01:03:03,575 The network feels Shakespeare is too obscure for our viewers. 1539 01:03:03,616 --> 01:03:06,578 Obscure? He's the most famous writer in the English language. 1540 01:03:06,619 --> 01:03:08,288 It's a joke. No one's gonna get confused. 1541 01:03:08,329 --> 01:03:10,081 Our viewers hear Shakespeare, 1542 01:03:10,123 --> 01:03:12,834 they'll change the channel. 1543 01:03:12,876 --> 01:03:15,879 Is this my middle finger I see before me? 1544 01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,547 Out! Out, network knave! 1545 01:03:17,589 --> 01:03:19,090 Oh, ratings rascal. 1546 01:03:19,132 --> 01:03:21,301 Anyone needs me, I'll be on my horse. 1547 01:03:29,017 --> 01:03:31,019 Come on, you guys. We've fixed worse. 1548 01:03:31,061 --> 01:03:32,604 It's not the script. It's the season. 1549 01:03:32,645 --> 01:03:34,272 Something just feels different. 1550 01:03:34,314 --> 01:03:35,607 Yeah, he's trying to be funny. 1551 01:03:35,648 --> 01:03:38,943 We can't fix Robin. 1552 01:03:38,985 --> 01:03:40,487 All right. Okay, look. 1553 01:03:43,615 --> 01:03:45,075 You wanted to see me, my liege. 1554 01:03:45,116 --> 01:03:48,495 Yeah. Go ahead. Take a shot. 1555 01:03:48,536 --> 01:03:50,372 Okay, but it won't be pretty. 1556 01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:55,460 So what's up? 1557 01:03:55,502 --> 01:03:57,087 Am I fired? 1558 01:03:57,128 --> 01:03:58,630 John Byner's available. 1559 01:03:58,672 --> 01:04:00,590 I understand we still have the costume. 1560 01:04:03,635 --> 01:04:05,637 Yeah. Hey... 1561 01:04:05,679 --> 01:04:08,515 I know I suck out there. 1562 01:04:08,556 --> 01:04:10,141 Sit down. 1563 01:04:10,183 --> 01:04:11,643 Come into my office. 1564 01:04:11,685 --> 01:04:13,186 -Oh, wow. -Yeah. 1565 01:04:13,228 --> 01:04:16,189 I got a... I got this specially made. 1566 01:04:16,231 --> 01:04:19,484 -They promoted you. -(laughs) 1567 01:04:23,655 --> 01:04:26,199 So is there anything we could be doing better? 1568 01:04:26,241 --> 01:04:29,327 I'm not feeling it like I used to. 1569 01:04:30,620 --> 01:04:34,416 You know, fame... has a way of cutting you off 1570 01:04:34,457 --> 01:04:37,544 from the things that made you who you are. 1571 01:04:37,585 --> 01:04:39,462 Life's more important than show business. 1572 01:04:39,504 --> 01:04:41,214 (laughs) Where have I heard that before? 1573 01:04:41,256 --> 01:04:42,507 Yeah, I don't know. 1574 01:04:44,134 --> 01:04:46,511 I think my biggest issue is trying to please everyone. 1575 01:04:46,553 --> 01:04:47,637 Yeah. 1576 01:04:47,679 --> 01:04:49,389 You know what they say. 1577 01:04:49,431 --> 01:04:51,683 You try to please everyone, you please no one. 1578 01:04:51,725 --> 01:04:53,351 Including yourself. 1579 01:04:53,393 --> 01:04:55,228 I know. It's hard. 1580 01:04:55,270 --> 01:04:57,397 Wish there was some way to tell people that, you know? 1581 01:04:57,439 --> 01:05:00,316 Sure. I wish I had another hit show. 1582 01:05:00,358 --> 01:05:05,071 Well, what if-- What if we had an episode with Robin Williams in it? 1583 01:05:05,113 --> 01:05:06,531 What do you mean, Robin Williams? 1584 01:05:06,573 --> 01:05:08,616 What do you mean, you--? Oh, wait, no. Okay. 1585 01:05:08,658 --> 01:05:11,036 You mean you, Robin Williams, not Mork. 1586 01:05:11,077 --> 01:05:12,662 Yeah, me as myself, and I can-- 1587 01:05:12,704 --> 01:05:14,748 I can talk about what I'm going through. 1588 01:05:14,789 --> 01:05:17,208 Yeah, that'd be interesting TV. 1589 01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:18,543 Yeah, and a way to break through the crap 1590 01:05:18,585 --> 01:05:20,253 and get back to who I really am. 1591 01:05:20,295 --> 01:05:25,050 Yeah. Okay. You talk to Harvey. Figure it out. 1592 01:05:25,091 --> 01:05:26,509 And, hey, we'll film it. 1593 01:05:26,551 --> 01:05:28,636 Go ahead. Take a shot. Show me what you got. 1594 01:05:33,475 --> 01:05:35,352 Robin: So where do you think the problem started? 1595 01:05:35,393 --> 01:05:37,604 It's hard for me to say no to anyone or anything. 1596 01:05:37,645 --> 01:05:39,439 Which gets me into a lot of trouble, I think. 1597 01:05:39,481 --> 01:05:41,399 Where does that come from? 1598 01:05:41,441 --> 01:05:43,318 I don't know. 1599 01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:45,195 As a kid, I spent a lot of time up in the attic, 1600 01:05:45,236 --> 01:05:47,030 playing with toy soldiers, doing all the voices 1601 01:05:47,072 --> 01:05:48,114 and all the noises. 1602 01:05:48,156 --> 01:05:50,241 Hope that pays off someday. 1603 01:05:50,283 --> 01:05:53,995 I think I ended up needing approval from real people too much. 1604 01:05:54,037 --> 01:05:57,457 Then all the craziness hit, getting everything I've ever dreamed of, only more. 1605 01:05:57,499 --> 01:06:01,336 Ended up like a kid in a candy store. 1606 01:06:03,672 --> 01:06:07,717 -(cheers and applause) -This could be a turning point for him. 1607 01:06:07,759 --> 01:06:09,636 Yeah, it should be. 1608 01:06:09,678 --> 01:06:13,723 He just went through therapy in front of 20 million people. 1609 01:06:29,864 --> 01:06:32,158 -Ha! -Hi. 1610 01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:33,576 That was incredible. 1611 01:06:33,618 --> 01:06:35,120 I feel like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist." 1612 01:06:35,161 --> 01:06:37,288 And I didn't even vomit on anyone. 1613 01:06:37,330 --> 01:06:40,375 Hey! Can Robin come out and play? 1614 01:06:40,417 --> 01:06:42,502 (Robin laughs) 1615 01:06:42,544 --> 01:06:45,463 (both laugh) 1616 01:06:49,175 --> 01:06:52,220 Whoa. (laughter) 1617 01:06:52,262 --> 01:06:53,596 You all right? 1618 01:07:10,238 --> 01:07:13,491 (buzzer buzzes) Woman: Garry Marshall's on line one. 1619 01:07:16,703 --> 01:07:17,787 Yeah. 1620 01:07:17,829 --> 01:07:19,205 Yo, Frank, hello. 1621 01:07:19,247 --> 01:07:20,373 Wait till you hear this. 1622 01:07:20,415 --> 01:07:21,833 Funny you should call. 1623 01:07:21,875 --> 01:07:23,335 I was just thinking about "Mork." 1624 01:07:23,376 --> 01:07:24,878 Yeah, I know what you're thinking. 1625 01:07:24,919 --> 01:07:26,796 You're thinking it's broken. Well, we can fix it. 1626 01:07:26,838 --> 01:07:29,716 And the name of that fix is Jonathan Winters. 1627 01:07:29,758 --> 01:07:32,385 The guy from the garbage bag commercials? 1628 01:07:32,427 --> 01:07:34,137 He's more than that, Frank. 1629 01:07:34,179 --> 01:07:36,181 He starred in countless motion pictures. 1630 01:07:36,222 --> 01:07:37,682 He had his own TV series. 1631 01:07:37,724 --> 01:07:40,226 And he's considered an improvisational genius. 1632 01:07:40,268 --> 01:07:44,105 Beyond that, he happens to be Robin Williams' comic idol. 1633 01:07:44,147 --> 01:07:46,358 If we put Jonathan on the show as a regular, 1634 01:07:46,399 --> 01:07:49,402 Robin will work at the top of his game. 1635 01:07:49,444 --> 01:07:51,571 Ring. Baby. 1636 01:07:51,613 --> 01:07:53,490 Here it is, Frank. 1637 01:07:53,531 --> 01:07:54,824 Here it is. 1638 01:07:54,866 --> 01:07:56,826 In the first episode of the season, 1639 01:07:56,868 --> 01:07:58,453 Mork proposes to Mindy. 1640 01:07:58,495 --> 01:07:59,913 She says, "Yes, of course," 1641 01:07:59,954 --> 01:08:02,332 and they go have a honeymoon on Ork, 1642 01:08:02,374 --> 01:08:03,833 where they have a baby. 1643 01:08:03,875 --> 01:08:07,337 And because Orkans age backwards, 1644 01:08:07,379 --> 01:08:11,257 the baby is played by Jonathan Winters. 1645 01:08:11,299 --> 01:08:14,219 I'll give you one more shot. 1646 01:08:14,260 --> 01:08:15,845 (laughs) Thanks, Frank. Thank you. 1647 01:08:15,887 --> 01:08:20,141 (laughs) Mwah. Oh, Harvey, you're a genius. 1648 01:08:20,183 --> 01:08:21,810 -I had a nightmare. -Oh. 1649 01:08:21,851 --> 01:08:24,437 There was this big, scary dragon 1650 01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:27,148 who said he was my friend, 1651 01:08:27,190 --> 01:08:28,733 but he stuck himself to my bellybutton 1652 01:08:28,775 --> 01:08:30,527 and he looked really weird. 1653 01:08:30,568 --> 01:08:32,362 Robin: Oh, no, no, I had the same dream. 1654 01:08:32,404 --> 01:08:33,780 All the girls like the dragon 1655 01:08:33,822 --> 01:08:35,532 and they wanna take him home and pet him, 1656 01:08:35,573 --> 01:08:36,825 but then he gets really mad, rears up, and spits fire. 1657 01:08:36,866 --> 01:08:38,952 (laughter) 1658 01:08:38,993 --> 01:08:42,455 And then I'm awake. Mummy has to do an extra load of laundry. 1659 01:08:42,497 --> 01:08:45,166 (laughter) 1660 01:08:45,208 --> 01:08:46,793 "Mummy has to do an extra load of laundry." 1661 01:08:46,835 --> 01:08:49,212 The dragon bit'll never air. It's too dirty. 1662 01:08:49,254 --> 01:08:50,755 Yeah, but the live audience loves it. 1663 01:08:50,797 --> 01:08:52,257 Yeah, but the stuff they're doing for protection 1664 01:08:52,298 --> 01:08:53,883 doesn't make any sense. 1665 01:08:53,925 --> 01:08:55,885 Right, and the people watching on TV won't have a clue. 1666 01:08:55,927 --> 01:08:57,637 It's pure self-indulgence. 1667 01:08:57,679 --> 01:08:59,764 I mean, as long as he's having fun with Jonathan, 1668 01:08:59,806 --> 01:09:01,433 Robin's happy. 1669 01:09:01,474 --> 01:09:03,351 Yeah, and then the show crashes and burns. 1670 01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:09,357 (knocking at door) 1671 01:09:11,693 --> 01:09:13,862 Hey. Can I come in? 1672 01:09:16,823 --> 01:09:19,617 Why'd you leave again, pookie? 1673 01:09:19,659 --> 01:09:21,619 I'm sorry I haven't come home enough. 1674 01:09:21,661 --> 01:09:24,414 Little while. You know, it's been crazy. 1675 01:09:24,456 --> 01:09:25,915 You're loaded, aren't you? 1676 01:09:25,957 --> 01:09:28,460 No, not fully. 1677 01:09:28,501 --> 01:09:31,629 You really don't get it, do you? 1678 01:09:31,671 --> 01:09:34,507 Yeah, I can stop whenever I want. 1679 01:09:34,549 --> 01:09:38,595 You promised me you'd change and you haven't even tried. 1680 01:09:38,636 --> 01:09:40,013 You're worse. 1681 01:09:40,055 --> 01:09:41,765 It's been a rough week. 1682 01:09:41,806 --> 01:09:45,226 You mean a rough three years. 1683 01:09:45,268 --> 01:09:47,812 It's like watching a train wreck, Robin. 1684 01:09:47,854 --> 01:09:51,483 And I just can't watch anymore. 1685 01:09:51,524 --> 01:09:53,610 Okay, you want me to stop? 1686 01:09:53,651 --> 01:09:55,278 Done. Cold turkey. It's over. 1687 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:56,946 No. 1688 01:09:56,988 --> 01:09:59,491 No. We're over. 1689 01:10:00,950 --> 01:10:02,327 But you still love me. 1690 01:10:02,369 --> 01:10:05,705 Please. Just go. 1691 01:10:08,583 --> 01:10:11,002 Go. 1692 01:10:32,774 --> 01:10:34,734 You know, Billy Bob and I was in the war, 1693 01:10:34,776 --> 01:10:36,277 but it ain't affecting us too much-- 1694 01:10:36,319 --> 01:10:37,570 (barks) 1695 01:10:37,612 --> 01:10:38,738 Let's show 'em the card. 1696 01:10:38,780 --> 01:10:39,698 Look how the Acme greeting card 1697 01:10:39,739 --> 01:10:41,658 stands up to abuse. 1698 01:10:41,700 --> 01:10:45,495 My body weight of the Earth's gravitational pull 1699 01:10:45,537 --> 01:10:48,957 stands up to 14 million pounds of pressure. 1700 01:10:48,998 --> 01:10:51,584 That's right. And yet, the Acme greeting card 1701 01:10:51,626 --> 01:10:53,336 is still in perfect condition, 1702 01:10:53,378 --> 01:10:54,671 and in fact it's even flatter than it was before. 1703 01:10:54,713 --> 01:10:57,424 And what about emotional stability? 1704 01:10:57,465 --> 01:10:58,591 Yeah. 1705 01:10:58,633 --> 01:11:00,885 I hate you, you stupid card. 1706 01:11:00,927 --> 01:11:02,929 Each card undergoes years of psychological testing 1707 01:11:02,971 --> 01:11:04,931 by a team of farmers, scientists, and prostitutes. 1708 01:11:04,973 --> 01:11:07,559 Jonathan: Yeah, they weigh 'em, spray 'em, and lay 'em. 1709 01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:08,685 Yeah, that's right, Billy Bob. 1710 01:11:08,727 --> 01:11:10,103 Cut. Great, let's print that. 1711 01:11:10,145 --> 01:11:12,522 We're moving on to the apartment set. 1712 01:11:12,564 --> 01:11:14,858 (applause) 1713 01:11:17,444 --> 01:11:19,362 This is working. This is inspired. 1714 01:11:19,404 --> 01:11:20,613 Yeah, sure. 1715 01:11:20,655 --> 01:11:22,407 So was the wedding and the baby 1716 01:11:22,449 --> 01:11:24,701 and Mork telling people he was an alien, 1717 01:11:24,743 --> 01:11:27,078 and he and Mindy traveling back in history 1718 01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:29,414 and shooting an episode in 3D. 1719 01:11:29,456 --> 01:11:31,708 Just as long as we don't ever do anything 1720 01:11:31,750 --> 01:11:34,336 that smacks of desperation. 1721 01:11:44,429 --> 01:11:45,638 Hi. Is-- Is John here? 1722 01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:48,058 (sighs) Robin Williams. 1723 01:11:49,184 --> 01:11:50,810 -Hey. -Hi. 1724 01:11:50,852 --> 01:11:53,104 -I'm John's friend. -Oh, hi. How are ya? 1725 01:11:53,146 --> 01:11:55,648 He, um, he's expecting you. 1726 01:11:55,690 --> 01:11:58,568 All right. Where is he? 1727 01:11:58,610 --> 01:12:01,821 He left, but he's coming back. 1728 01:12:01,863 --> 01:12:04,491 Okay. 1729 01:12:04,532 --> 01:12:06,951 You wanna do some blow? 1730 01:12:06,993 --> 01:12:10,997 Oh, hey, wait. Give me a minute to soak in the ambiance. 1731 01:12:13,625 --> 01:12:15,835 You know what? On second thought, I'm gonna head out. 1732 01:12:15,877 --> 01:12:18,421 Will you let Jon know that I was-- I was here? 1733 01:12:18,463 --> 01:12:20,924 Hey. Big daddy. 1734 01:12:20,965 --> 01:12:24,636 Robin. Hey, what the hell you doing here, man? 1735 01:12:24,678 --> 01:12:28,098 -(car pulling up) -Okay. I--I got a message you wanted me to come. 1736 01:12:29,474 --> 01:12:32,727 Cool. What else have I done that I missed? 1737 01:12:32,769 --> 01:12:36,022 We have sex? 1738 01:12:36,064 --> 01:12:37,691 Guess we did. 1739 01:12:37,732 --> 01:12:39,109 All right. (laughs, coughs) 1740 01:12:39,150 --> 01:12:41,695 Hey. 1741 01:12:41,736 --> 01:12:44,072 -Hey, are you-- are you okay? - I'm good. (coughs) 1742 01:12:45,657 --> 01:12:47,951 (coughs) 1743 01:12:47,992 --> 01:12:49,786 Hey, John. 1744 01:12:51,079 --> 01:12:53,039 Okay. I'll just hang out with myself 1745 01:12:53,081 --> 01:12:55,834 and hope you decide to come back. 1746 01:13:21,609 --> 01:13:24,571 (John exhales) Whoa, where you goin'? 1747 01:13:24,612 --> 01:13:27,032 Party's just getting started, man. 1748 01:13:27,073 --> 01:13:30,452 (breathing heavily) 1749 01:13:30,493 --> 01:13:32,203 I feel amazing. 1750 01:13:32,245 --> 01:13:34,914 Robin, you gotta try this. 1751 01:13:34,956 --> 01:13:38,668 John, hello? John. 1752 01:13:38,710 --> 01:13:40,211 He'll be okay. 1753 01:13:40,253 --> 01:13:44,507 Hey. Hey, do Mork. That nanu nanu crap's hilarious. 1754 01:13:44,549 --> 01:13:49,012 Not right now, okay? Hey, John. Hey. 1755 01:13:49,054 --> 01:13:51,181 If you ever wake up, call me. 1756 01:13:55,143 --> 01:13:57,645 (John moans) 1757 01:13:58,772 --> 01:14:01,649 (John coughs) 1758 01:14:03,902 --> 01:14:07,489 Oh, it's me. But on Ork a jelly bean's a horrible monster. 1759 01:14:07,530 --> 01:14:09,532 Well, on Earth it's a piece of candy. 1760 01:14:09,574 --> 01:14:11,034 Isn't language wonderful? 1761 01:14:11,076 --> 01:14:12,702 Pam, can I talk to you? 1762 01:14:12,744 --> 01:14:14,746 Yeah. 1763 01:14:20,043 --> 01:14:22,545 (whispering) 1764 01:14:22,587 --> 01:14:23,922 Oh, my God. 1765 01:14:34,182 --> 01:14:37,018 Hey. 1766 01:14:37,060 --> 01:14:39,562 I have really bad news. 1767 01:14:39,604 --> 01:14:42,107 Let me guess. The network wants to replace you with Linda Lovelace? 1768 01:14:42,148 --> 01:14:43,525 What else are they gonna shove down our throats? 1769 01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:44,651 Thanks, Harvey. Good job. 1770 01:14:44,693 --> 01:14:46,653 Let's sit down. 1771 01:14:50,865 --> 01:14:52,951 It's about John Belushi. 1772 01:14:52,992 --> 01:14:55,829 Um, we were just told that he... 1773 01:14:55,870 --> 01:14:58,540 What? What did he do? I just saw him last night. 1774 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,002 He died. 1775 01:15:02,043 --> 01:15:06,047 They found him in bed. They think it was drugs. 1776 01:15:10,218 --> 01:15:14,180 Are you sure? I mean, the guy's got the constitution of a tank. 1777 01:15:18,643 --> 01:15:20,353 Wow, what a downer. 1778 01:15:20,395 --> 01:15:24,566 That's a drag, you know. He's a riot. We were friends. 1779 01:15:24,607 --> 01:15:27,569 Man. You wanna take some time? 1780 01:15:27,610 --> 01:15:30,739 Time? During television? Man's a comedian. 1781 01:15:30,780 --> 01:15:32,365 No, we're ready. 1782 01:15:32,407 --> 01:15:35,660 -Okay. -Let's go, let's go, let's go. 1783 01:15:35,702 --> 01:15:37,037 Man: Here we go on rehearsal. 1784 01:15:37,078 --> 01:15:39,748 Uh, Pam, can you take it from 1785 01:15:39,789 --> 01:15:41,708 um, "Anyway, you can't trust this Kalnik." 1786 01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:44,878 Yeah. Um, anyway, you can't trust this Kalnik 1787 01:15:44,919 --> 01:15:47,922 just because he's from Neptune. 1788 01:15:49,841 --> 01:15:51,926 (laughs) 1789 01:15:51,968 --> 01:15:55,930 Of course you can. Uh, Neptunians, um... 1790 01:15:55,972 --> 01:15:58,350 -um... -Uh, line. 1791 01:15:58,391 --> 01:15:59,893 What-- What is it? 1792 01:15:59,934 --> 01:16:01,186 "Neptunians never--" 1793 01:16:01,227 --> 01:16:02,896 No, I got it. I got it. Uh... 1794 01:16:02,937 --> 01:16:05,607 Of course you can. 'Course you can. 1795 01:16:09,027 --> 01:16:11,821 Neptunians... 1796 01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:17,619 Robin. Hey. 1797 01:16:20,789 --> 01:16:23,833 Whoa. Whoa. What's that about? 1798 01:16:23,875 --> 01:16:25,960 Belushi's dead. 1799 01:16:26,002 --> 01:16:27,295 Yeah. 1800 01:16:27,337 --> 01:16:29,047 -But I was with him. -You'll be fine. 1801 01:16:29,089 --> 01:16:32,258 Yeah, I'll be fine, but B-Belushi's dead. 1802 01:16:32,300 --> 01:16:34,427 No, Belushi can't be dead. 1803 01:16:34,469 --> 01:16:36,304 Belushi is not dead! 1804 01:16:37,764 --> 01:16:39,224 Robin. 1805 01:16:41,101 --> 01:16:42,977 Your lawyers are here. 1806 01:16:43,019 --> 01:16:45,271 Why? What-- What's going on? 1807 01:16:45,313 --> 01:16:49,025 They need to talk to you. 1808 01:17:02,831 --> 01:17:04,290 Why am I here? 1809 01:17:04,332 --> 01:17:06,292 I already gave you my statement over the phone. 1810 01:17:06,334 --> 01:17:09,462 Mr. Williams, we're trying to learn as much as we can 1811 01:17:09,504 --> 01:17:11,047 about the events that took place 1812 01:17:11,089 --> 01:17:14,050 on the night of Mr. Belushi's death. 1813 01:17:14,092 --> 01:17:15,969 Now, you're not a suspect. 1814 01:17:16,011 --> 01:17:18,013 You're a witness. 1815 01:17:18,054 --> 01:17:20,432 I know you and Mr. Belushi were friends. 1816 01:17:20,473 --> 01:17:22,934 Yes. 1817 01:17:22,976 --> 01:17:25,311 Oh, God. No. 1818 01:17:25,353 --> 01:17:28,189 We need to confirm this is the room you went to. 1819 01:17:30,025 --> 01:17:32,777 Yes, that's it. Can you please take them away? 1820 01:17:36,823 --> 01:17:39,826 All right. Let's go through it. 1821 01:17:39,868 --> 01:17:42,328 From the moment you stepped inside 1822 01:17:42,370 --> 01:17:45,206 to the moment you left. 1823 01:17:50,837 --> 01:17:53,131 (door opens) 1824 01:17:55,216 --> 01:17:56,843 You came. 1825 01:17:56,885 --> 01:17:59,804 -You okay? -Not really. 1826 01:17:59,846 --> 01:18:01,222 Come on, let's get you home. 1827 01:18:01,264 --> 01:18:03,099 Will you stay with me? 1828 01:18:03,141 --> 01:18:04,851 I don't know. 1829 01:18:04,893 --> 01:18:07,354 I just figured you could use a friend right now. 1830 01:18:13,443 --> 01:18:15,362 So how'd it go? 1831 01:18:15,403 --> 01:18:17,739 Oh, they were actually pretty nice. 1832 01:18:17,781 --> 01:18:19,908 After I told them you were the one behind those bank jobs in Encino. 1833 01:18:19,949 --> 01:18:21,826 Ha. 1834 01:18:21,868 --> 01:18:23,370 Death. What a concept. 1835 01:18:23,411 --> 01:18:25,538 Mm-hmm. 1836 01:18:25,580 --> 01:18:27,248 You know, when I heard about John, 1837 01:18:27,290 --> 01:18:31,878 my first thought was, "I hope Robin isn't next." 1838 01:18:31,920 --> 01:18:34,214 Yeah, I was thinking that too. 1839 01:18:34,255 --> 01:18:37,884 Scares the hell out of me, Dawbs. 1840 01:18:37,926 --> 01:18:39,886 Did you know cocaine makes you fat? 1841 01:18:39,928 --> 01:18:41,429 I hadn't heard that. 1842 01:18:41,471 --> 01:18:43,765 Yeah. Also there's the whole dying thing. 1843 01:18:43,807 --> 01:18:45,225 Weight gain and oblivion. 1844 01:18:45,266 --> 01:18:46,518 They should put that on the label. 1845 01:18:46,559 --> 01:18:48,520 Yeah. So what are you going to do? 1846 01:18:48,561 --> 01:18:50,480 Stop. I'm gonna stop. 1847 01:18:50,522 --> 01:18:52,565 Good. 1848 01:18:52,607 --> 01:18:54,901 Are you high now? 1849 01:18:54,943 --> 01:18:56,152 No. 1850 01:18:56,194 --> 01:18:58,071 Then you've already stopped. 1851 01:18:58,113 --> 01:19:00,907 What you gotta do is not start again. 1852 01:19:00,949 --> 01:19:02,951 Oh, easier said than done. 1853 01:19:02,992 --> 01:19:06,121 Well, since when has Robin Williams ever done the easy thing? 1854 01:19:06,162 --> 01:19:09,040 Shampoo girl gets tough. 1855 01:19:09,082 --> 01:19:11,459 Well, if you end up like Belushi, 1856 01:19:11,501 --> 01:19:15,255 you know, I will personally kick your butt. 1857 01:19:15,296 --> 01:19:17,382 I screwed up my marriage, lost a good friend, 1858 01:19:17,424 --> 01:19:19,134 maybe my career. 1859 01:19:19,175 --> 01:19:21,136 Robin, you're 30 years old. 1860 01:19:21,177 --> 01:19:23,263 I feel like I'm 60. 1861 01:19:23,304 --> 01:19:25,890 I blame myself for what happened to the show. 1862 01:19:25,932 --> 01:19:27,851 You're the one that made it great. 1863 01:19:27,892 --> 01:19:30,854 Both a great show and a great experience. 1864 01:19:30,895 --> 01:19:33,023 Hey, you two. 1865 01:19:33,064 --> 01:19:36,860 Hey. How ya doing? 1866 01:19:36,901 --> 01:19:38,611 He's working through it. 1867 01:19:38,653 --> 01:19:42,323 Well, make us proud. 1868 01:19:42,365 --> 01:19:45,994 (telephone rings) 1869 01:19:47,370 --> 01:19:48,913 Mr. Marshall's office. 1870 01:19:48,955 --> 01:19:50,457 Yes! I mean, we sell it like that, 1871 01:19:50,498 --> 01:19:51,416 they're gonna buy it. 1872 01:19:51,458 --> 01:19:52,959 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1873 01:19:53,001 --> 01:19:55,337 -Ted on line three. -Ted? I asked for Frank. 1874 01:19:55,378 --> 01:19:58,840 All right. Let's go pitch it. (laughs) 1875 01:20:01,384 --> 01:20:03,303 Hey, Ted. It's Garry. 1876 01:20:03,345 --> 01:20:05,472 Hey. Garry. 1877 01:20:05,513 --> 01:20:07,515 I've got news. 1878 01:20:07,557 --> 01:20:11,144 Remember how I said I was working my way up to drama? 1879 01:20:11,186 --> 01:20:12,937 Well, I skipped all that, 1880 01:20:12,979 --> 01:20:15,440 went right into Frank's job, and I'm really excited 1881 01:20:15,482 --> 01:20:17,484 about some of the new things you'll be doing. 1882 01:20:17,525 --> 01:20:20,320 First, I wanna apologize 1883 01:20:20,362 --> 01:20:23,198 for the way the whole "Mork & Mindy" thing was handled. 1884 01:20:23,239 --> 01:20:25,617 Or should I say "mishandled." 1885 01:20:25,658 --> 01:20:28,495 Every decision the network made was wrong. 1886 01:20:28,536 --> 01:20:31,414 A wonderful show got terrible treatment, 1887 01:20:31,456 --> 01:20:33,083 and no one blames you, Garry. 1888 01:20:33,124 --> 01:20:34,542 Or, um... (snaps fingers) 1889 01:20:34,584 --> 01:20:36,461 Harvey or anyone else in your cast. 1890 01:20:36,503 --> 01:20:38,630 Wait. Don't tell me. Let me guess. 1891 01:20:38,672 --> 01:20:40,465 We're cancelled? 1892 01:20:40,507 --> 01:20:42,425 Yeah. 1893 01:20:42,467 --> 01:20:44,219 Love ya, Gare. 1894 01:20:49,391 --> 01:20:51,935 (sighs) 1895 01:20:51,976 --> 01:20:53,561 Last time we take this walk. 1896 01:20:53,603 --> 01:20:55,355 Yep. Fine with me. 1897 01:20:55,397 --> 01:20:57,190 I can't wait to be a house husband. 1898 01:20:57,232 --> 01:20:58,900 Does that mean we can buy real furniture? 1899 01:20:58,942 --> 01:21:01,528 Yes. Furniture, flatware, and fountains. 1900 01:21:01,569 --> 01:21:04,239 They'll all be color coordinated and fuchsia. 1901 01:21:07,117 --> 01:21:09,911 It'll be a real home. 1902 01:21:16,001 --> 01:21:18,378 Pam: So how's it going with you two? 1903 01:21:18,420 --> 01:21:20,588 Well, I can't believe it, but we're at back together. 1904 01:21:20,630 --> 01:21:22,132 And we're trying to get pregnant. 1905 01:21:22,173 --> 01:21:23,675 -Ohh! -Well, I'm trying, 1906 01:21:23,717 --> 01:21:25,927 but he's helping. 1907 01:21:25,969 --> 01:21:29,305 Well, speaking of, I want you to meet my new boyfriend. 1908 01:21:29,347 --> 01:21:31,182 Couldn't you have picked somebody better looking? 1909 01:21:31,224 --> 01:21:33,184 Shows like this come along once in a lifetime. 1910 01:21:33,226 --> 01:21:34,936 You can bet on that, that's for sure. 1911 01:21:34,978 --> 01:21:36,396 So, I hear you got another movie. 1912 01:21:36,438 --> 01:21:37,939 "The World According to Garp." 1913 01:21:37,981 --> 01:21:39,357 -And how's that going? -Well, fine now, 1914 01:21:39,399 --> 01:21:41,067 but look at my last one. A guh-guh-guh! 1915 01:21:41,109 --> 01:21:43,403 No, no, no, no, no! Mr. Denmark! 1916 01:21:43,445 --> 01:21:44,696 From the network that gives America 1917 01:21:44,738 --> 01:21:46,406 "Too Close For Comfort," "It's A Living," 1918 01:21:46,448 --> 01:21:48,241 and "Fantasy Island." "It's lame, it's lame!" 1919 01:21:48,283 --> 01:21:50,326 I am really excited, I am so excited, 1920 01:21:50,368 --> 01:21:52,203 I'm too excited, I wet myself. 1921 01:21:52,245 --> 01:21:53,621 -(laughter) -And you! 1922 01:21:53,663 --> 01:21:55,665 "Don't worry! It'll be cute! 1923 01:21:55,707 --> 01:21:58,335 You make me laugh!" Here, here, here. 1924 01:21:58,376 --> 01:22:00,045 "Another million dollars came in. 1925 01:22:00,086 --> 01:22:01,963 "Have it sent to my cockamamie accountant. 1926 01:22:02,005 --> 01:22:04,716 Tell him to buy the Lakers. I need better seats." 1927 01:22:04,758 --> 01:22:07,302 Where's my fudgsicle?" Yeah, see? 1928 01:22:07,344 --> 01:22:09,012 "You can't say 'putz' you schmuck. 1929 01:22:09,054 --> 01:22:11,473 Oh, no, I said 'shmuck'. I'm such a putz." 1930 01:22:11,514 --> 01:22:14,100 "And I thought I did broad comedy. 1931 01:22:14,142 --> 01:22:15,352 "This kid wouldn't know subtle 1932 01:22:15,393 --> 01:22:17,604 if it ran him over with a truck." 1933 01:22:17,645 --> 01:22:20,065 "Well, I was pretty sure we'd be stinking rich, 1934 01:22:20,106 --> 01:22:23,401 but instead it seems to me, well, we just stink." 1935 01:22:23,443 --> 01:22:25,528 "And now I can go to Caltech. 1936 01:22:25,570 --> 01:22:27,238 I can gather all my friends and I'll them 1937 01:22:27,280 --> 01:22:28,990 I'm no longer a virgin." Hmm! 1938 01:22:29,032 --> 01:22:30,658 (laughter) 1939 01:22:30,700 --> 01:22:33,036 * Her name was Lila, she don't like Robin * 1940 01:22:33,078 --> 01:22:34,579 * He's always messin' the lines * 1941 01:22:34,621 --> 01:22:36,206 "Now, you want to contemplate your navel 1942 01:22:36,247 --> 01:22:37,582 "for an entire episode. 1943 01:22:37,624 --> 01:22:40,460 Interesting idea. Let me think about it." 1944 01:22:40,502 --> 01:22:43,421 (giggles) "I'm cute!" 1945 01:22:43,463 --> 01:22:45,131 "This is Jay Thomas on the radio" 1946 01:22:45,173 --> 01:22:47,342 'cause I'm no longer on your television." 1947 01:22:47,384 --> 01:22:50,136 "Mork, what are you doing under my skirt?" 1948 01:22:50,178 --> 01:22:51,471 Oh, never mind, new boyfriend. 1949 01:22:51,513 --> 01:22:52,764 Ah, young love. 1950 01:22:52,806 --> 01:22:54,474 So much better than masturbating. 1951 01:22:54,516 --> 01:22:56,643 "The network said no masturbating." 1952 01:22:56,685 --> 01:22:58,311 "Sure I'll come back, Mr. Marshall, 1953 01:22:58,353 --> 01:23:00,063 and all I want is Colorado." 1954 01:23:00,105 --> 01:23:02,732 "Weiner! Weiner, weiner, weiner, weiner, weiner, weiner!" 1955 01:23:02,774 --> 01:23:04,609 "All right, kids, nice energy, lock it up, 1956 01:23:04,651 --> 01:23:07,779 and where's Robin? Robin? Oh, Robin!" 1957 01:23:07,821 --> 01:23:10,156 "Hmm. Now, I can either stay married to Robin, 1958 01:23:10,198 --> 01:23:11,658 "or I can put a nail through my head. 1959 01:23:11,700 --> 01:23:13,159 "Well, the nail is quicker, it's painless, 1960 01:23:13,201 --> 01:23:14,744 and it doesn't have any body hair" 1961 01:23:14,786 --> 01:23:16,496 And we're back to the man who took us off the air 1962 01:23:16,538 --> 01:23:17,789 who said we weren't funny anymore. 1963 01:23:17,831 --> 01:23:19,582 And you know what? 1964 01:23:19,624 --> 01:23:22,127 For the first time in four years, ABC was right! 1965 01:23:22,168 --> 01:23:23,670 (cheers and applause) 1966 01:23:23,712 --> 01:23:26,047 ("I'm Still Standing" playing) 1967 01:23:30,093 --> 01:23:32,679 -I'm gonna miss you so much. -I'll miss you, too. 1968 01:23:32,721 --> 01:23:35,223 -Bye. -Robin. 1969 01:23:35,265 --> 01:23:36,182 -Hi. -Thank you so much. 1970 01:23:36,224 --> 01:23:38,393 -Yeah. -Hey. 1971 01:23:38,435 --> 01:23:40,437 Hey you. 1972 01:23:40,478 --> 01:23:42,272 I just wanted to say thank you 1973 01:23:42,313 --> 01:23:45,400 for the funniest four years of my life. 1974 01:23:45,442 --> 01:23:47,569 Well, thanks for helping me get on with mine. 1975 01:23:49,487 --> 01:23:51,698 -Bye, Dawbs -Bye. 1976 01:23:51,740 --> 01:23:55,118 -Hey, bring it in. -Bye. 1977 01:23:55,160 --> 01:23:57,203 See ya. 1978 01:23:57,245 --> 01:23:59,622 Do you wanna go home? 1979 01:23:59,664 --> 01:24:01,332 Why don't you wait for me at the car? 1980 01:24:01,374 --> 01:24:03,877 Just gonna take a last look around. 1981 01:24:03,918 --> 01:24:05,587 Okay. 1982 01:24:05,628 --> 01:24:08,590 * Feeling like a little kid * 1983 01:24:08,631 --> 01:24:13,386 * I'm still standing after all this time * 1984 01:24:13,428 --> 01:24:15,680 * Picking up the pieces of my life * 1985 01:24:15,722 --> 01:24:18,600 * Without you on my mind * 1986 01:24:18,641 --> 01:24:20,852 * I'm still standing * 1987 01:24:20,894 --> 01:24:23,104 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * 1988 01:24:24,272 --> 01:24:26,274 * I'm still standing * 1989 01:24:26,316 --> 01:24:28,568 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * 1990 01:24:28,610 --> 01:24:32,447 Man: Hey, Robin. Com here. 1991 01:24:32,489 --> 01:24:35,700 * You starting down the road and leaving me again * 1992 01:24:35,742 --> 01:24:39,412 Pure Peruvian flake. You want some? 1993 01:24:39,454 --> 01:24:40,747 * And if love was just a circus * 1994 01:24:40,789 --> 01:24:42,749 * You'd be a clown by now * 1995 01:24:42,791 --> 01:24:44,459 Yes. 1996 01:24:44,501 --> 01:24:46,169 * You know I'm still standing * 1997 01:24:46,211 --> 01:24:48,630 * Better than I ever did * 1998 01:24:48,672 --> 01:24:51,341 * Looking like a true survivor * 1999 01:24:51,383 --> 01:24:54,552 * Feeling like a little kid * 2000 01:24:54,594 --> 01:24:59,432 * I'm still standing after all this time * 2001 01:24:59,474 --> 01:25:01,726 * Picking up the pieces of my life * 2002 01:25:01,768 --> 01:25:04,646 * Without you on my mind * 2003 01:25:04,688 --> 01:25:06,773 * I'm still standing * 2004 01:25:06,815 --> 01:25:10,193 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * 2005 01:25:10,235 --> 01:25:12,362 * I'm still standing * 2006 01:25:12,404 --> 01:25:14,280 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * 2007 01:25:14,322 --> 01:25:16,366 **