1 00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:46,800 Basic principles: 2 00:00:46,910 --> 00:00:48,970 No woman wakes up saying: 3 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,240 "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." 4 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:59,710 Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for me." 5 00:01:01,990 --> 00:01:06,190 Or something like, "I just need some space." 6 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,360 Or my personal favorite: 7 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:13,190 "I' m really into my career right now." 8 00:01:16,340 --> 00:01:18,860 You believe that? Neither does she. 9 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:22,910 You know why? Because she's lying to you, that's why. 10 00:01:23,610 --> 00:01:26,170 You understand me? Lying. 11 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,750 It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. 12 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,750 She may be into her career... 13 00:01:32,890 --> 00:01:36,550 but what she's really saying is, "Get away from me now." 14 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,520 Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." 15 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,330 Well, which one is it? 16 00:01:44,430 --> 00:01:48,660 60% of all human communication is nonverbal. 17 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,530 Body language. 18 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,660 30% is your tone. 19 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,900 So that means that 90% of what you're saying... 20 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,510 ain't coming out of your mouth. 21 00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:03,580 Toby! 22 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:06,210 Shit! 23 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:07,620 Of course she'll lie to you. 24 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,520 She's a nice person, she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings. 25 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,250 What else is she gonna say? She doesn't even know you. 26 00:02:13,390 --> 00:02:14,450 Yet. 27 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:20,130 Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us... 28 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:24,640 even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it. 29 00:02:24,910 --> 00:02:26,570 And that's where I come in. 30 00:02:26,670 --> 00:02:28,870 My job is to open her eyes. 31 00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,710 Oh, my God! 32 00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:38,980 Is this what you're looking for? 33 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,990 Basic principles: No matter what, no matter when, no matter who... 34 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,620 any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. 35 00:02:47,030 --> 00:02:48,830 Just needs the right broom. 36 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,570 You cannot use what you do not have. 37 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,670 So if you're shy, be shy. If you're outgoing, be outgoing. 38 00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:06,250 - I' m not outgoing. - That's okay. 39 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:09,810 She may not want the whole truth, but she does want the real you. 40 00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:13,320 She may not want to see it all at once, but she does want to see it. 41 00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:18,260 So tonight, when you're wondering what to say, how you look, or if she likes you... 42 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,330 just remember, she is already out with you. 43 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:25,830 That means she said yes when she could have said no. 44 00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:29,970 That means she made a plan when she could have just blown you off. 45 00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:34,170 So that means it is no longer your job to try to make her like you. 46 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:37,240 It is your job not to mess it up. 47 00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:43,110 The shoes are hot. You went to the place I told you? 48 00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:47,750 Yeah, but I don't think they're really me. 49 00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:51,590 "You" is a very fluid concept right now. 50 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:55,250 You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. 51 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,160 That's the you I' m talking about. 52 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,770 The key tonight is hang back. 53 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,830 Give her plenty of space. 54 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:09,500 If she lingers at a photograph, move on. 55 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,470 But maintain the visual. 56 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:22,190 It's supposed to be 64 and clear tonight. So when you leave the club, walk a little. 57 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,620 Ask her what she thought about the show... 58 00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:27,460 what was her favorite photograph, why that one. 59 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,960 And when she answers, don't be looking at her mouth. 60 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:33,730 Don't be wondering what she looks like naked. 61 00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:37,330 Listen to what she is saying and respond. 62 00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:40,230 Listen and respond. 63 00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:42,710 That way, when it's your turn to talk... 64 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,750 you'll have something better to say than, "I like your mouth." 65 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,140 What was your favorite one? 66 00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:51,040 The elephant, definitely. 67 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,850 And all of a sudden, we're on date number two. 68 00:04:57,690 --> 00:04:58,850 Ready. 69 00:05:04,870 --> 00:05:06,060 No way. 70 00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:10,830 We're going back in there. You have to smile. 71 00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:14,730 In case you didn't go to high school hitting is a good thing. 72 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,400 So how does it happen, great love? 73 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,570 Are you okay? 74 00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:20,340 - Nobody knows. - I' m good. 75 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:23,780 Let me get a Bomb Pop and a Screwball for the lady. 76 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:28,180 But what I can tell you, is that it happens in the blink of an eye. 77 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:33,050 One moment, you're enjoying your life. 78 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:37,360 And the next, you're wondering how you ever lived without them. 79 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,690 Three dates is all I need. 80 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:45,260 Three dates, and I' II get you here, to the high-stakes medal round... 81 00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:48,400 where eight out of 10 women believe that the first kiss... 82 00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:52,380 will tell them everything they need to know about the relationship. 83 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,280 After that, you're on your own. 84 00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:26,810 But always remember... 85 00:06:27,150 --> 00:06:30,140 life is not the amount of breaths you take. 86 00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:34,850 It's the moments that take your breath away. 87 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,530 Did I call it or did I call it? 88 00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,820 I mean, what did I say, six months? 89 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,690 And when was her first date? 90 00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:48,830 So five-and-a-half? God, I hate it when I' m right. 91 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:52,600 What is it about guys that makes them want to screw anything that walks... 92 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:56,040 even when they're going out with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole? 93 00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:58,940 She's only the most fabulous thing walking around New York. 94 00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:00,100 Thanks, Young. 95 00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:02,510 Are you kidding? Of course I' m gonna run it. 96 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,050 Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat? 97 00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:08,160 Even if he is gorgeous. 98 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:09,990 If he's stupid enough to cheat... 99 00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:12,530 the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught. 100 00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:15,060 Exactly. I' m in the elevator. See you in a minute. 101 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,320 Good morning, how are you? 102 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,500 Bitter, party of one. 103 00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:22,130 You should try it sometime. 104 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,500 Barbados by myself? I wouldn't last five minutes. 105 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:27,400 It was just what the doctor ordered. 106 00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:31,000 I slept in, I did my yoga, I read a couple of books... 107 00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:32,810 flirted with my scuba instructor. 108 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:36,010 - And apparently never left the office. - I know, isn't that great? 109 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,240 You should 've taken someone with you. 110 00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:40,510 Who am I gonna take with me? 111 00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:42,890 This is where a boyfriend comes in handy. 112 00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:47,480 - I don't have time for a boyfriend. - You said that two years ago. 113 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,560 Yes, and it's as true today as it was then. 114 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,590 I thought you were on vacation. 115 00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:56,070 See if these are in focus and have them in my desk in an hour. 116 00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:00,570 Besides, relationships are for people waiting for something better to come along. 117 00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:03,010 Spoken like a true cynic. 118 00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:05,240 I'm not a cynic. I' m a realist. 119 00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:09,840 You are a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist. 120 00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:12,580 What are you doing here? What is she doing here? 121 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,240 She works here, remember? 122 00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:17,020 No, she doesn't. Not for another four days. 123 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,920 - This couldn't wait. - It could. 124 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,930 What are you doing? Go back to the beach. 125 00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:23,900 - I don't want you here. - No, really, you do. 126 00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:27,020 You are becoming a sick, workaholic lunatic... 127 00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:28,830 and this is exactly... 128 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:33,100 the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior that leads to... 129 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,070 Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette. 130 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:39,110 A very big raise. 131 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,710 Jesus. You could find dirt in a snowstorm. 132 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,750 Comes with the job. 133 00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:49,550 You know, kiddo, there is more to life than watching other people live it. 134 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,460 Can I help he was cheating on my beach? 135 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:55,120 I think it's great that you're so good at your job. 136 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:57,890 I'm just a little worried as to why. 137 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,360 Let me worry about that. 138 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:04,730 Okay. I want that column on my desk by lunch. 139 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,200 So you'll pay for my hotel. 140 00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:09,740 For you to sip mai tais? I don't think so. Get out. 141 00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:23,660 - Come on. - What? 142 00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:25,220 - That's good, right? - No. 143 00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:26,920 No, it was in and it freaked out. 144 00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:31,050 You know what your problem is, Hitch? You're all about the short game. 145 00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:35,970 You pick your shots based on what you see first... 146 00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:39,640 not what's necessarily best for you... 147 00:09:40,810 --> 00:09:42,440 in the long run. 148 00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:47,580 All of us are not married to the woman of our dreams and about to have a baby. 149 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:51,240 You know, I' m very happy for you. Just not meant for everybody. 150 00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:54,290 So please just leave me to my hot, sweaty... 151 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:57,620 totally varied, wildly experimental short game. 152 00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:01,830 - I was talking about pool, but whatever. - Yeah, okay. 153 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,690 Honestly, I just hope one day you're able to experience... 154 00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:08,530 the unconditional love, trust, and openness... 155 00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:10,530 that I share with Grace every single day. 156 00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:14,300 - Is this really barroom talk? - You need to listen to me. I' m serious. 157 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:17,100 Because when you get to a place with a woman like that... 158 00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:19,040 it's so beyond anything physical that... 159 00:10:19,180 --> 00:10:21,840 when I think back to when I used to run around with you... 160 00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:24,950 and chase all these really gorgeous but shallow women... 161 00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:30,020 I don't know, it's kind of ridiculous and vaguely pathetic. 162 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,190 Yeah, I see what you mean. That's pathetic. 163 00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:46,040 So, how'd you meet him? 164 00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:49,070 I was in La Perla just buying some weekend thongs. 165 00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:51,740 - And he was doing likewise? - No. 166 00:10:52,210 --> 00:10:55,150 Actually, he said he was buying something for his mom. 167 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,550 His mom? 168 00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:59,510 Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie for their mother? 169 00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,920 Well, maybe he was looking for a robe. 170 00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:06,590 Casey, he was hitting on you while he was buying lingerie for another woman. 171 00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:11,260 - I prefer the mother story. - I know you do, but that's not the point. 172 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,660 No, the point is I' m not gonna start out assuming the guy's a liar. 173 00:11:14,770 --> 00:11:17,400 - Why not? - Because that's how you wind up... 174 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,730 Like me? Is that what you were gonna say? 175 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,340 No. I was gonna say, "Like you." 176 00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:25,680 - What's his name? - Why? 177 00:11:26,110 --> 00:11:28,550 - I' m gonna Google him. - No. Google your own guy. 178 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:30,620 Let's just see if his mother's still alive. 179 00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:33,690 - So when is Grace due again? - Soon. 180 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,680 - You excited? - What'd you say? 181 00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:39,590 Do you want me to go get them and bring them over here? 182 00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:40,890 No, don't do that. 183 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,020 Are you saying you don't wanna talk to them because you can't go home with them? 184 00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:47,360 I'm just trying to keep my head above water. 185 00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:50,200 - Have you heard of the Date Doctor? - Urban myth. 186 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:51,570 - Really? - Absolutely. 187 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,300 I was hoping he also helped women. 188 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,470 Casey, you're not sick. You're single. 189 00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:59,080 You just have to relax and enjoy the ride. 190 00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:01,410 I haven't been ridden in months. 191 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:09,450 On that happy note, I' m gonna go see if anybody interesting came in tonight. 192 00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,790 - You mean, besides me. - Right. 193 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,420 Bye. 194 00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:15,930 I'll go get those girls, bring them over here... 195 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:18,260 and we'll have a conversation like human beings. 196 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:22,100 Then you're gonna home, and I' II take them back to my apartment. 197 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:26,660 Well, that sounds like fun for me. But you might want to get in line, pal. 198 00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:29,670 - Hey, girl. - Hey, how are you? 199 00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:35,640 Hey, baby, can I get a couple Coronas at the pool table, please? Thanks. 200 00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,150 Excuse me. 201 00:12:39,820 --> 00:12:41,650 Lime wedges in the bottle's fine. 202 00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:44,160 Hey, asshole, I don't work here. 203 00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:53,400 I'm sorry. The paramedics will have to come to get my foot out of my mouth, sweetheart. 204 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,800 Just don't let it happen again. 205 00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:58,460 - I knew you didn't work here. - You did? 206 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:02,060 How else was I supposed to get you away from all those guys? 207 00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:05,070 Why would you want to do that? 208 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,980 Some guys naturally develop a comfort with the opposite sex. 209 00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:13,020 They like women, women like them. Everything flows naturally. 210 00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:17,420 Back in college, I was just not one of them. 211 00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:24,800 I seemed to lack the basic understanding... 212 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,460 that my peers just intuitively grasped. 213 00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:32,130 But like any late bloomer, I was eager to make up for lost time. 214 00:13:35,010 --> 00:13:38,100 Her name was Cressida Baylor. 215 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,210 Can you tell me where the registration building is? 216 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,150 And my life would never be the same. 217 00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,720 - I' m Alex. - Cressida. 218 00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:56,460 What we had was beautiful. 219 00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:03,670 I love you. 220 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,200 I love you so much. 221 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,070 I love you, too, Alex. 222 00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:20,510 I know you don't love me as much as I love you. 223 00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:24,490 But that's okay. I'm just glad you love me at all. 224 00:14:24,590 --> 00:14:27,920 In retrospect, I guess I may have come on a little strong. 225 00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:34,530 But the experience taught me a lot. 226 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,930 Cressida! 227 00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,500 What are you doing? 228 00:14:41,610 --> 00:14:43,010 I'm sorry, Alex. 229 00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:47,510 But I love you. What did I do wrong? Just tell me what I did wrong. 230 00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:49,770 You're doing it right now. 231 00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,410 Alex, I' m sorry. 232 00:14:55,990 --> 00:15:00,190 And it's an education I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men. 233 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:08,230 Because with no guile and no game, there's no girl. 234 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,260 If ever a man born was without game... 235 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,900 it was Albert Brennaman. 236 00:15:40,430 --> 00:15:45,240 My business is 100% referral and, thus far, untraceable. 237 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:47,170 And if there's one thing I' ve learned... 238 00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:51,000 when you orchestrate, coordinate, and otherwise mess with fate... 239 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,610 it's best to fly under the radar. 240 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,050 I hope she's single 'cause I don't do break-ups. 241 00:16:34,190 --> 00:16:36,160 Hi. Thank you for seeing me. 242 00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:39,710 Yeah, no. I mean, she just got out of a relationship. 243 00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:43,220 Is that a problem? Because if it is, that's fine. 244 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,660 I'm a little uncomfortable with this anyway. 245 00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:50,000 Definitely been hurt a lot. I had a lot of bad experiences. 246 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:53,560 Some good ones. But definitely a lot of bad ones. 247 00:16:54,270 --> 00:16:58,370 I'm desperate, basically. I mean, not in general, you understand? 248 00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:02,210 You know, not just for anybody. But, man, for her... Yeah. 249 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,050 Why don't you tell me about her? 250 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:08,310 Let's see, what can I say? 251 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:12,320 My company handles her finances. I'm her tax consultant. 252 00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:16,160 Well, I' m one of them. I'm the junior man on the account. 253 00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:18,700 - So does she know you're interested? - No. 254 00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:24,030 Alive? 255 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,570 Llent her my pen once. 256 00:17:27,070 --> 00:17:29,370 Shoot. Does anyone have a pen? 257 00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:33,000 - Here, take mine. - Albert, you're crushing my arm. 258 00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:35,640 Sorry about that. Here you go, Allegra. 259 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:41,550 Allegra? As in Allegra Cole? 260 00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:44,420 Yeah, I realize that I' m not her usual type. 261 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,360 Well, her last boyfriend owned Sweden or something. 262 00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:50,190 And that guy was a bum. 263 00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:53,360 He didn't seem like a very nice person to me. 264 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,430 You swing for the fence. 265 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:00,000 Look, you don't think I tried talking myself out of this? 266 00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:03,940 I mean, you don't think I know how ridiculous this is? I know, okay? 267 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,510 I just thought that maybe with your help... 268 00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:13,580 You know what? I'm really sorry I wasted your time. 269 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,060 Hold on a second, Albert. 270 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,700 You know what it's like getting up every morning feeling hopeless? 271 00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:37,400 Feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man? 272 00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:42,410 But at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness... 273 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,750 even if it's never gonna be with you? 274 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,920 You are flat-out... 275 00:18:50,790 --> 00:18:53,950 out of your mind. You know that? 276 00:18:57,860 --> 00:18:59,300 That's good. 277 00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,590 It is? 278 00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,900 You ever heard of Michelangelo? 279 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,240 Heard of the Sistine Chapel 280 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:10,240 Michelangelo. 281 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,740 Sistine Chapel. 282 00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:14,740 You saying you can do this? 283 00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:18,410 My name is Alex Hitchens. Let's go paint that ceiling. 284 00:19:47,910 --> 00:19:49,380 Take it easy. 285 00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,180 Oh, my God! 286 00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:40,590 Well, it looks like I' m still rich. 287 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,570 But what I would really like, and what I was wondering is... 288 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,940 if I could have $500,000 to invest on my own. 289 00:20:55,950 --> 00:21:00,050 And what were you thinking of investing in, Allegra? 290 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:06,190 Well, it's something that I really have a passion for. 291 00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,600 Daydreams are for private time. 292 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,200 When you're in the room, be in the room. 293 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:20,930 Concentrate. Focus. Women respond when you respond to them. 294 00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:23,970 My friend Maggie is a talented designer. 295 00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:28,750 I've seen the business plan and the samples look fantastic. 296 00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:33,880 And I would really like to get involved. 297 00:21:38,490 --> 00:21:40,150 I'll tell you what. 298 00:21:40,290 --> 00:21:44,960 Let us come up with a range of investments that we think you might be interested in... 299 00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:48,690 and next month, we'll run the whole lot of them by you. 300 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:52,790 Okay. 301 00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:55,430 Fine. Thank you. All right, gentlemen. 302 00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:58,570 Let's go over this one more time. What is the objective? 303 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,110 Shock and awe. 304 00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:03,110 That was shockingly awful What is the objective? 305 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:04,410 Shock and awe. 306 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,880 What is the objective? 307 00:22:07,690 --> 00:22:10,490 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes, Albert? 308 00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:21,400 I don't really agree with that. 309 00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,990 You don't really agree with what? 310 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,080 I think if you want to invest $500,000 in your friend's business... 311 00:22:34,180 --> 00:22:35,670 that's exactly what you should do. 312 00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:38,610 You don't need us to tell you what to do. 313 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,780 We're a board of advisers, not your kindergarten teachers. 314 00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:44,120 If you want to be taken seriously as an adult... 315 00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:46,590 then start taking yourself seriously as an adult... 316 00:22:46,690 --> 00:22:49,660 instead of asking for permission to invest your own money... 317 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,490 from a boardroom full of your daddy's golf buddies. 318 00:22:52,630 --> 00:22:54,360 - That's quite enough! - I' m not finished. 319 00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:58,700 I'd like to see anybody in this room handle the attention and publicity... 320 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,500 that she's had to deal with her whole life, with half her class. 321 00:23:04,810 --> 00:23:08,940 We should be taking advice from you, Miss Cole. Not the other way around. 322 00:23:09,050 --> 00:23:11,810 - Sit down... - No! You know what? I quit! 323 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,560 Oh, my God. 324 00:23:33,710 --> 00:23:36,400 Just breathe. How'd it go? 325 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:40,070 I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss! I quit my job! 326 00:23:40,610 --> 00:23:42,380 - What? - You said... 327 00:23:42,750 --> 00:23:45,310 - I gotta go back. - No, I didn't tell you to quit. 328 00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:47,180 Relax. Okay, listen, we're fine. 329 00:23:47,290 --> 00:23:49,760 - Would you let me go? - Albert, no! 330 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,990 Just relax! Okay? 331 00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:57,890 - Just let it marinate for a second. Trust me. - No! 332 00:24:08,210 --> 00:24:10,230 Relax. 333 00:24:10,380 --> 00:24:12,500 - It's Allegra Cole. - Answer it. 334 00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:16,170 - Could I speak to you a second? - Answer the door, Albert. 335 00:24:20,620 --> 00:24:21,880 Yes. Hi. 336 00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:24,060 What's up? 337 00:24:24,390 --> 00:24:26,290 Listen, Albert, right? 338 00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:32,060 - People don't usually talk to me like that. - Close your mouth, man. 339 00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:34,760 Let me rephrase that. 340 00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:37,730 People never talk to me like that. 341 00:24:39,340 --> 00:24:40,530 Stand up. 342 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,400 I guess it's kind of scary for them. 343 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,110 But that's why I really appreciate what you did in there. 344 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,420 But I was wondering... 345 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,750 do you think that you and I could get together sometime this week? 346 00:24:57,820 --> 00:25:00,490 You know, to go over things. 347 00:25:01,460 --> 00:25:03,220 Financial things. 348 00:25:03,330 --> 00:25:07,460 I'd like to see the areas where I can afford to take some risks. 349 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,930 - Check your schedule. - I' II check my schedule. 350 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,470 Great. Let me give you my number. Do you have a pen? 351 00:25:13,710 --> 00:25:15,800 I don't think I have one. 352 00:25:20,710 --> 00:25:22,480 - Yes, I do. - Great. 353 00:25:34,690 --> 00:25:36,490 And call me Allegra. 354 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,800 - You're done. - Goodbye. 355 00:25:45,540 --> 00:25:46,840 Good job. 356 00:25:49,710 --> 00:25:50,770 Oh, damn. 357 00:26:12,230 --> 00:26:16,640 She's some kind of newspaper columnist. Comes in here once in a while. Great tipper. 358 00:26:16,740 --> 00:26:17,790 What's her drink? 359 00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:21,200 Usually beer. Tonight, Grey Goose martini, dirty. 360 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,540 Hi. 361 00:26:34,490 --> 00:26:36,180 I noticed your glass was getting low... 362 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,190 so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini. 363 00:26:39,330 --> 00:26:40,310 Thank you. 364 00:26:40,430 --> 00:26:44,450 And I couldn't help but notice you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 365 00:26:45,030 --> 00:26:47,520 - What's your name? - They call me Chip. 366 00:26:47,670 --> 00:26:49,830 You can't get them to stop? 367 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,200 That was funny. 368 00:26:52,340 --> 00:26:55,830 Listen, I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room... 369 00:26:55,940 --> 00:26:58,470 and try to generate a relationship out of thin air. 370 00:26:58,580 --> 00:27:02,380 - So don't take the following personally. - You have fantastic eyes. 371 00:27:03,780 --> 00:27:05,720 Thanks. Try to listen. 372 00:27:05,850 --> 00:27:09,810 This is no reflection on you. I'm just not interested. 373 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:12,590 But thank you for the compliment of coming over. 374 00:27:12,730 --> 00:27:15,590 You're welcome. So do you like Cuban food? 375 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:20,260 Chip, seriously, that was not code for, "I wish you'd try harder." 376 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:24,530 Are you always so shut-down and afraid that the right man might make you... 377 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,730 Feel like a natural woman? 378 00:27:27,540 --> 00:27:30,740 Sorry I' m late, honey. I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting? 379 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,540 Well, there was a beginning, a middle, and an end. 380 00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:36,950 Nice to meet you, Chip. 381 00:27:42,260 --> 00:27:43,590 You, too. 382 00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:49,290 On the one hand, it is very difficult for a man... 383 00:27:49,430 --> 00:27:52,130 to even speak to someone who looks like you. 384 00:27:52,270 --> 00:27:55,460 But on the other hand, should that be your problem? 385 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,090 So life's kind of hard all around. 386 00:27:58,740 --> 00:28:01,070 Not if you pay attention. 387 00:28:02,910 --> 00:28:04,880 You're sending all the right signals: 388 00:28:04,980 --> 00:28:08,440 No earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back... 389 00:28:08,580 --> 00:28:12,210 wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini... 390 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,580 which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. 391 00:28:15,690 --> 00:28:17,050 If that wasn't clear enough... 392 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:21,290 there's always the "fuck off" that you have stamped on your forehead. 393 00:28:21,430 --> 00:28:25,730 Who'd believe there's a man out there that can sit by a woman he doesn't know... 394 00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:29,930 and genuinely be interested in who she is, what she does, without his own agenda? 395 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,970 I wouldn't even know what that would look like. 396 00:28:33,140 --> 00:28:35,130 So what would a guy like that say? 397 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,680 He'd say, " My name is Alex Hitchens and I' m a consultant." 398 00:28:38,810 --> 00:28:40,640 But she wouldn't be interested in that... 399 00:28:40,780 --> 00:28:43,250 because she'd be counting the seconds until he left. 400 00:28:43,350 --> 00:28:45,840 Thinking he was like every other guy. 401 00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:49,180 Which, life experience has taught her, is a virtual certainty. 402 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,120 But then he'd ask her name and what she did for a living... 403 00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:54,420 and she might blow him off. 404 00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:56,420 Or she might say... 405 00:29:00,970 --> 00:29:04,870 I'm Sara Melas. I run the gossip column at the Standard. 406 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,970 And then he'd ask all these penetrating questions about her... 407 00:29:08,070 --> 00:29:11,310 because he was sincerely, if atypically, interested. 408 00:29:11,410 --> 00:29:12,470 No. 409 00:29:12,850 --> 00:29:15,280 - No? - He'd be interested. 410 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,840 But he'd see that there was no way... 411 00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:22,790 he could possibly make her realize that he was for real. 412 00:29:22,890 --> 00:29:28,020 Well, he could be funny and charming and refreshingly original. 413 00:29:28,860 --> 00:29:30,330 Wouldn't help. 414 00:29:30,430 --> 00:29:33,560 - Don't you hate it when that happens? - Not really. 415 00:29:33,700 --> 00:29:37,400 They'd both probably go on to lead the lives they were headed toward. 416 00:29:37,540 --> 00:29:40,340 My guess is they'd do just fine. 417 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,500 It's a pleasure to have met you, Sara Melas. 418 00:29:50,550 --> 00:29:54,010 Grey Goose martini from the gentleman who just left. 419 00:29:59,390 --> 00:30:00,980 Is that for me? 420 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,920 What? 421 00:30:20,210 --> 00:30:22,440 Vance Munson. Sorry I' m late. 422 00:30:23,450 --> 00:30:26,350 No, not a problem. 423 00:30:27,590 --> 00:30:29,380 Wow, you're the... 424 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:34,050 - Can I get you something to drink, Mr... - No, I' m fine, thank you. 425 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,030 So, tell me about her. 426 00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,190 Have you ever met someone... 427 00:30:40,300 --> 00:30:43,100 and you knew right away she was gonna be important to you? 428 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,640 Not just because of her looks, but that X factor. 429 00:30:47,670 --> 00:30:49,200 How'd you meet her? 430 00:30:49,310 --> 00:30:52,710 Actually, I was in a shop buying pajamas for my mom. 431 00:30:52,810 --> 00:30:54,710 And by that, of course, you mean... 432 00:30:54,810 --> 00:30:57,750 you were buying lingerie for another woman. 433 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,750 Yes. You can't help where you meet somebody. 434 00:31:03,460 --> 00:31:05,980 And the lingerie is for a woman I'm no longer seeing. 435 00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:08,990 But anyway, the girl I met, the one I was talking about... 436 00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:11,820 she's so sweet, funny, Southern. 437 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,990 She gives me her number. Now she won't return my phone calls. 438 00:31:15,130 --> 00:31:18,800 I don't know what it is about her. I just can't get her out of my mind. 439 00:31:18,940 --> 00:31:22,970 You know, food has lost its taste. Colors, they seem dull. 440 00:31:23,110 --> 00:31:26,840 Things that used to matter... I don't know, they just no longer do. 441 00:31:26,980 --> 00:31:29,950 I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I... 442 00:31:31,850 --> 00:31:33,580 Unless I bang her. 443 00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:37,150 Excuse me? 444 00:31:38,890 --> 00:31:42,350 You know, bang her. Clear my head. Get in, get off, get out. 445 00:31:45,130 --> 00:31:48,430 I think you may have misunderstood what I do exactly. 446 00:31:48,530 --> 00:31:51,260 No, I was told you help guys get in there. 447 00:31:51,370 --> 00:31:53,300 Right. But, see, here's the thing. 448 00:31:53,410 --> 00:31:56,810 My clients actually like women. 449 00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:01,980 Hit it and quit it is not my thing. 450 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:06,020 Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi. I need professional help. 451 00:32:06,150 --> 00:32:08,950 Well, that is for damn certain. 452 00:32:09,390 --> 00:32:13,950 And I' m glad you can admit it because generally that's the hardest part. 453 00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:20,020 You see what I' m doing? This is what I' m about. 454 00:32:20,930 --> 00:32:23,200 Power suit, power tie, power steering. 455 00:32:23,340 --> 00:32:27,360 People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want. 456 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,370 So that's, like, a metaphor. 457 00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:36,810 Well, I' m more of a literal kind of guy. 458 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,710 So when I do this... 459 00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:45,020 this is more like me saying that I will literally break your shit off... 460 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,990 if you ever touch me again. Okay, pumpkin? 461 00:32:48,090 --> 00:32:49,320 Got it. 462 00:32:57,370 --> 00:32:59,340 No. 463 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:03,700 Pablo, I can't just mention your restaurant. Somebody has to eat there. 464 00:33:03,810 --> 00:33:06,740 No, somebody famous. You know that. 465 00:33:07,050 --> 00:33:08,670 - Sara Melas? - No. 466 00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:11,170 Okay. Bye. 467 00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:15,080 I need your signature. 468 00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:33,970 I hate it when a guy calls a girl who did not give him her number. 469 00:33:34,110 --> 00:33:36,540 So this is me not calling. Over. 470 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,610 Yes, you're right. This is much less invasive. 471 00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:42,610 I've been thinking about that sign on your forehead. 472 00:33:42,750 --> 00:33:46,740 And I was wondering if you'd mind taking it down for dinner Friday night. Over. 473 00:33:47,190 --> 00:33:50,490 I can't. I have a couple of parties I have to hit. 474 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,820 Gossip never sleeps. 475 00:33:53,330 --> 00:33:55,320 Not till about 4:00 a.m. 476 00:33:55,830 --> 00:33:57,130 Saturday. 477 00:34:00,130 --> 00:34:01,620 I have a date. 478 00:34:03,170 --> 00:34:06,070 Do you know the definition of "perseverance," Miss Melas? 479 00:34:06,170 --> 00:34:08,270 An excuse to be obnoxious? 480 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,430 Continuing in a course of action... 481 00:34:10,540 --> 00:34:14,810 without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure. Over. 482 00:34:15,180 --> 00:34:17,270 Okay, Webster, how do I get rid of you? 483 00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:20,350 Breakfast, Sunday. And you can barely even call that a date. 484 00:34:20,490 --> 00:34:24,350 You do that with out-of-town relatives that you don't even like. Over. 485 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:29,620 Come on. 486 00:34:32,130 --> 00:34:34,500 Okay, I guess I could do Sunday. 487 00:34:35,070 --> 00:34:37,430 You forgot to say "over." Over. 488 00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:40,960 This conversatiors over as soon as you tell me when and where. 489 00:34:41,070 --> 00:34:44,040 7:00 a.m., North Cove Marina. Over and out. 490 00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:48,380 7:00 a.m.? Are you crazy? I don't do 7:00 a.m. 491 00:34:50,350 --> 00:34:51,710 - Hello? - Sign here. 492 00:34:52,150 --> 00:34:53,780 - What? - You said Sunday, right? 493 00:34:53,890 --> 00:34:55,010 Yeah. 494 00:34:57,990 --> 00:35:00,460 What if I would have said Friday? 495 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:01,790 Sunday. 496 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,730 So I guess you're not going to church. 497 00:35:21,550 --> 00:35:24,240 Do you really expect me to wear this? 498 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:28,310 It'll be awful cold out there without it. 499 00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:31,550 - Good morning. - "Good" would have been at 10:00. 500 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,260 You're a lot taller than I remember. 501 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,330 You ever ride one of these? 502 00:35:40,430 --> 00:35:42,090 Not on the Hudson. 503 00:35:42,230 --> 00:35:45,230 So, what do you wanna do? Race me around the Statue of Liberty? 504 00:35:45,370 --> 00:35:47,000 If there's time. 505 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,070 - But you might need these. - All right. 506 00:35:50,210 --> 00:35:51,570 - Bam. - Wow. 507 00:35:52,780 --> 00:35:54,270 How do I look? 508 00:35:55,550 --> 00:35:56,850 Fabulous. 509 00:35:58,650 --> 00:36:00,380 All right, I give. 510 00:36:01,220 --> 00:36:02,850 Where do I change? 511 00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:08,420 So we'll go past the wall, then take a left. It's pretty much a straight shot from there. 512 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,790 - Straight shot to where? - That's for me to know and you to find out. 513 00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:13,590 What you do with these babies is... 514 00:36:13,730 --> 00:36:16,930 Yeah, what I do with this baby is kick your ass. 515 00:37:28,110 --> 00:37:31,510 - What happened? You change your mind? - It just died. 516 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,310 Did you put gas in it? 517 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,840 No. You know, I think it must have sucked up a diaper or something. 518 00:37:38,950 --> 00:37:41,420 Gross. Try it again. 519 00:37:45,220 --> 00:37:46,820 You want me to call AAA? 520 00:37:46,930 --> 00:37:49,420 Come on around and let me hop on with you. 521 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:53,260 I don't know. What if you break mine, too? Then we'll both be sitting ducks. 522 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,060 - I didn't break it. It just died. - Yeah, yeah. 523 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,190 All right, hop on. 524 00:38:00,810 --> 00:38:03,570 - Scoot back. - Hitch, I' m already here. 525 00:38:04,140 --> 00:38:05,910 But you don't know where we're going. 526 00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:08,740 Why don't you tell me? Then we'll both know. 527 00:38:11,550 --> 00:38:13,180 Man, male egos. 528 00:38:13,290 --> 00:38:16,120 I don't know how you guys make it through the day with them. 529 00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:18,350 What? It is not my ego. 530 00:38:18,460 --> 00:38:21,220 I just don't want to ruin the surprise. 531 00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:34,070 I'm sorry. Are you all right? 532 00:38:36,180 --> 00:38:39,110 There. I always keep a few of those around. 533 00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:40,270 Thank you. 534 00:38:40,410 --> 00:38:44,370 I have lower back trouble. I just shove the ice packs right down there. 535 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:46,820 No. That's a fresh one. 536 00:38:48,690 --> 00:38:50,380 So, Ellis Island. 537 00:38:50,660 --> 00:38:54,790 I have to admit, I have lived in New York my whole life and I' ve never been here. 538 00:38:54,930 --> 00:38:56,450 I figured that. Most people haven't. 539 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,160 So I got my man Larry here to set us up a private tour. 540 00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:01,290 - Great! - Anything for Hitch. 541 00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:06,170 It was originally known as Oyster Island. 542 00:39:06,310 --> 00:39:08,970 The island was expanded to its present size... 543 00:39:09,110 --> 00:39:13,240 with dirt removed during the construction of the New York subway system. 544 00:39:13,980 --> 00:39:15,570 - Are you serious? - Yes. 545 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,910 - Did you know this? - Yeah. That's why I brought you here. 546 00:39:19,020 --> 00:39:23,820 In fact, over 100 million Americans can trace their ancestry... 547 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,980 back to a single man, woman, or child on the ship's manifest... 548 00:39:28,130 --> 00:39:30,150 to an inspector's ledger. 549 00:39:30,730 --> 00:39:35,690 By 1910, 75% of the residents of New York... 550 00:39:35,830 --> 00:39:39,130 Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, and Boston... 551 00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:42,040 were immigrants, or the children of immigrants. 552 00:39:42,170 --> 00:39:45,700 They generally lived in the poorest sections of the cities... 553 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:49,940 in Little Italys, Chinatowns and other ethnic enclaves. 554 00:39:50,350 --> 00:39:52,540 It's called The Kissing Post. 555 00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:57,450 The plaque explains how different cultures kiss after long absences. 556 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,660 Now, what exactly would qualify as a long absence? 557 00:40:02,190 --> 00:40:03,560 I mean... 558 00:40:04,430 --> 00:40:06,860 - That count? - No. 559 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,700 I actually had a relative come through here. 560 00:40:15,270 --> 00:40:16,800 - Really? - Yeah. 561 00:40:19,010 --> 00:40:20,140 What? 562 00:40:21,050 --> 00:40:24,210 - What? - What was that thing? 563 00:40:25,420 --> 00:40:28,850 No. You know, I was just thinking... 564 00:40:29,290 --> 00:40:33,160 you can't really know where you're going until you know where you've been. 565 00:40:33,260 --> 00:40:36,160 - Ain't that right, Larry? - Amen, brother. 566 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,890 That's kind of deep for a first date, don't you think? 567 00:40:43,370 --> 00:40:44,840 What is that? 568 00:41:03,420 --> 00:41:05,190 Oh, my God! 569 00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:16,430 That's my great-great-grandfather. That's his signature. 570 00:41:16,570 --> 00:41:18,560 Jesus, it's right here! 571 00:41:21,570 --> 00:41:23,630 How did you know? 572 00:41:24,580 --> 00:41:27,600 Hitch did the search. I just found the page. 573 00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,630 I'm sorry. 574 00:42:01,950 --> 00:42:05,180 I saw that going differently in my mind. 575 00:42:07,620 --> 00:42:12,080 So my family never saw him again. Well, except for on the Wanted posters. 576 00:42:12,460 --> 00:42:14,820 Look, I' m really sorry. 577 00:42:15,330 --> 00:42:19,290 When I saw it on the computer, it said, "the Butcher of Cadiz." 578 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:25,770 I thought it was a profession, not a headline. 579 00:42:27,170 --> 00:42:31,840 It's just one of those horrible family legacies we've all tried to forget. 580 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,010 But thank you. 581 00:42:34,150 --> 00:42:35,480 No, it was... 582 00:42:35,580 --> 00:42:37,670 - A train wreck. - No. 583 00:42:37,820 --> 00:42:39,280 Let me get you a cab. 584 00:42:44,090 --> 00:42:45,350 Thanks. 585 00:42:47,660 --> 00:42:49,560 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 586 00:42:59,370 --> 00:43:00,500 Taxi! 587 00:43:04,210 --> 00:43:06,770 Poor guy. Sounds like he went to a lot of trouble. 588 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:11,710 It was fun. In a disastrous kind of way. I mean, this isn't exactly a hickey. 589 00:43:12,850 --> 00:43:15,980 At least you got a good story out of it, right? 590 00:43:18,420 --> 00:43:19,480 Right? 591 00:43:19,590 --> 00:43:23,150 - You should try mine, it's great. - Wait. You're seeing him again? 592 00:43:24,730 --> 00:43:28,500 Well, look, you said that I'm always expecting men... 593 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,660 to let me down, right? Assuming that they're gonna fail. 594 00:43:31,770 --> 00:43:33,240 Which he did. 595 00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:37,060 Yeah, but he did it with flair. 596 00:43:39,310 --> 00:43:42,110 I mean, Case, he really tanked. 597 00:43:42,210 --> 00:43:44,440 And that's a desirable trait? 598 00:43:45,220 --> 00:43:48,020 Yeah. Weird, huh? 599 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,150 Now, just keep it simple. Just like we practiced. 600 00:43:53,290 --> 00:43:54,780 We're just leaving a message. 601 00:43:54,890 --> 00:43:58,120 Women like Allegra Cole don't pick up numbers they don't recognize. 602 00:44:01,670 --> 00:44:02,830 Hello? 603 00:44:03,470 --> 00:44:05,200 She's on the phone! 604 00:44:07,810 --> 00:44:09,770 - Yes. Hello, Miss Cole? - Yeah. 605 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:11,970 Hi, I have Albert Brennaman for you. 606 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,550 - One moment, please. - No. Tell her I' m at lunch. 607 00:44:14,650 --> 00:44:17,580 We called her to tell her you're at lunch? 608 00:44:22,220 --> 00:44:26,280 Allegra. Hi, it's Albert Brennaman. 609 00:44:27,430 --> 00:44:29,050 Hi, how are you? 610 00:44:29,260 --> 00:44:31,490 Good. I' m doing good. 611 00:44:31,900 --> 00:44:34,960 The reason I' m calling is about our appointment this Wednesday. 612 00:44:35,630 --> 00:44:37,430 Not gonna be able to make it. 613 00:44:38,540 --> 00:44:40,630 Well, when can you make it? 614 00:44:41,270 --> 00:44:42,710 When can I do it? 615 00:44:46,180 --> 00:44:49,480 I don't even know, because my whole next week is slammed. 616 00:44:50,220 --> 00:44:52,880 Right. But it's all good. 617 00:44:55,290 --> 00:44:57,920 No, we're gonna make it happen though, that's for sure. 618 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,420 We're going to make it happen. Yes. 619 00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:10,670 What's going on over there? 620 00:45:10,770 --> 00:45:13,170 Just moving some things around. 621 00:45:15,240 --> 00:45:16,540 Sky Studios. 622 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:20,040 Tonight I' m actually going to this fashion thing at Sky Studios. 623 00:45:20,150 --> 00:45:21,410 Designer friend. 624 00:45:21,550 --> 00:45:25,610 I just thought it might be something your designer friend would be interested in. 625 00:45:25,750 --> 00:45:27,080 Yeah, definitely. 626 00:45:27,220 --> 00:45:30,950 Well, great. Then I will put you back on with my... 627 00:45:49,570 --> 00:45:51,870 - Allegra, over here, please. - Miss Cole, this way. 628 00:45:51,980 --> 00:45:53,310 Great. One more. 629 00:45:53,410 --> 00:45:56,540 - Hi, there. - This was a fantastic idea. 630 00:45:56,850 --> 00:45:59,210 I suppose. Hey, where's Maggie? 631 00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,280 Late as usual. 632 00:46:03,460 --> 00:46:07,220 Tonight I want you to meditate on the image of an iceberg. 633 00:46:07,590 --> 00:46:09,420 Do you know why I want you to do that? 634 00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:11,390 Because I' m cool. 635 00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:13,330 - No. - I know, I' m not. 636 00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:15,960 I'm saying that you are an iceberg... 637 00:46:16,100 --> 00:46:20,090 in that over 90% of your mass is below the surface. 638 00:46:20,810 --> 00:46:22,900 I know I' m heavy. I am. 639 00:46:23,010 --> 00:46:26,440 I'm talking about who you are. It's a metaphor. 640 00:46:26,550 --> 00:46:27,910 Accounting, business... 641 00:46:28,010 --> 00:46:32,610 all of that is just a small part of a much deeper, richer Albert. 642 00:46:33,850 --> 00:46:35,150 One more. 643 00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:37,820 It's gonna be loud in there... 644 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,580 so this is our opportunity to break the touch barrier... 645 00:46:40,690 --> 00:46:41,950 in a non-sleazy way. 646 00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:45,090 So get to where it's loudest. Ask her if she'd like a drink. 647 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,630 Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back... 648 00:46:47,730 --> 00:46:49,530 and say it in her ear like a secret. 649 00:46:49,670 --> 00:46:53,070 Watch your hand placement. Too high says, "I just wanna be friends." 650 00:46:53,170 --> 00:46:55,540 Too low says, "I just wanna grab some ass." 651 00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,270 Friends. Ass. Me. 652 00:47:04,550 --> 00:47:07,040 Special issues: Allegra Cole is a celebrity... 653 00:47:07,190 --> 00:47:10,640 which means that when people talk to her, they'll ignore you completely. 654 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:12,520 She's classy, so she'll introduce you. 655 00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:16,180 When she does, shake hands hard and speak up. Let them know you're there. 656 00:47:16,290 --> 00:47:18,160 Show her you can handle being her escort. 657 00:47:18,260 --> 00:47:21,460 - Egon, this is Albert. - How you doing? 658 00:47:21,670 --> 00:47:23,900 - Albert, this is Zak. - Nice to see you. 659 00:47:24,340 --> 00:47:26,200 These guys are friends with Maggie. 660 00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,500 - Been to that new Brazilian restaurant? - No, but I am... 661 00:47:29,610 --> 00:47:32,200 It's disgusting. I'm writing an article about it. 662 00:47:33,380 --> 00:47:35,510 Did you see the new installation at MOMA? 663 00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:38,480 - Yes, did you think... - Disgusting. 664 00:47:40,090 --> 00:47:43,320 Women can always tell when you're not being real with them. 665 00:47:43,620 --> 00:47:47,110 Worst thing you can do is try to fake it, because you are a great guy. 666 00:47:47,460 --> 00:47:50,830 And you do have something to offer Allegra that no other man does. 667 00:47:51,730 --> 00:47:53,200 What was your name? Eggnog? 668 00:47:55,030 --> 00:47:56,160 Egon. 669 00:47:56,670 --> 00:48:00,600 What do you think of the design of the Jets' new football stadium on the West Side? 670 00:48:01,140 --> 00:48:03,440 Let me guess. Disgusting? 671 00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:06,240 Think it over. We'll be back. 672 00:48:08,650 --> 00:48:11,780 Thank you. I can't stand those guys. 673 00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,110 Really? I kind of liked them. 674 00:48:14,250 --> 00:48:16,050 But when all is said and done... 675 00:48:16,250 --> 00:48:18,850 tonight is not about Allegra. 676 00:48:19,660 --> 00:48:22,350 - It's not? - No. Tonight is about Maggie. 677 00:48:22,730 --> 00:48:26,690 A womars best friend has to sign off on all big relationship decisions. 678 00:48:26,870 --> 00:48:28,560 So you can't afford to mess this up. 679 00:48:28,670 --> 00:48:31,140 Albert, I want you to meet my friend, Maggie. 680 00:48:31,670 --> 00:48:34,500 Hi, Maggie. It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. 681 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:36,000 I'm Maggie. 682 00:48:36,940 --> 00:48:40,070 - No, you're not. - Actually, I am. 683 00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:43,980 Magnus Forester. Thank you so much for inviting us. 684 00:48:46,250 --> 00:48:48,380 - You have very soft hands. - Thank you. 685 00:48:50,690 --> 00:48:53,090 - Wow. So do you. - Thank you. 686 00:48:53,190 --> 00:48:57,130 So tonight, you focus on one thing and one thing only. 687 00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:58,390 Maggie. 688 00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:02,090 - Where does your inspiration come from? - Oh, my God. 689 00:49:02,970 --> 00:49:04,490 Anything I see. 690 00:49:04,970 --> 00:49:08,670 Something in a magazine, out on the street... 691 00:49:09,310 --> 00:49:10,370 in an old movie. 692 00:49:11,380 --> 00:49:14,970 The receptive nature of the creative facility just astounds me. 693 00:49:15,810 --> 00:49:17,370 Anybody want any spring rolls? 694 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,820 That's a beautiful tie, by the way. This whole thing, it just works. 695 00:49:21,150 --> 00:49:22,520 Thank you. 696 00:49:24,190 --> 00:49:26,950 - Is he gay? - I don't think so. 697 00:49:28,630 --> 00:49:29,620 Ilike him. 698 00:49:29,730 --> 00:49:34,460 About the deejay. Generally, I have a firm no-dancing policy. 699 00:49:34,570 --> 00:49:37,470 But if she asks, you cannot say no. 700 00:49:37,570 --> 00:49:40,440 I'm not worried about dancing. But if there are people there... 701 00:49:40,540 --> 00:49:45,000 I'm sorry, I hate to be a stickler, but I need to be thorough. 702 00:49:46,240 --> 00:49:48,770 Show me what you mean by you're not worried about it. 703 00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,110 Trust me. You know what I' m gonna do. 704 00:49:54,220 --> 00:49:56,310 That's what it's all about, right there. 705 00:49:57,060 --> 00:49:58,350 See how it gets bigger? 706 00:50:01,630 --> 00:50:03,150 Now I' m gonna start the fire. 707 00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:07,300 But the feet are going. I start the fire, I make the pizza. 708 00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:08,860 Hips are always going. 709 00:50:10,570 --> 00:50:11,830 Can't get enough hip. 710 00:50:12,070 --> 00:50:14,540 From there, the Q-Tip. 711 00:50:15,610 --> 00:50:18,940 Q-Tip. Throw it away. 712 00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,700 That's not working, hit them with this. 713 00:50:30,460 --> 00:50:33,220 Don't ever... 714 00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:35,250 do that again. 715 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:38,120 Do you hear me? 716 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,830 - Just expressing myself. - No. 717 00:50:42,300 --> 00:50:45,500 Not like that, you're not, all right? 718 00:50:48,510 --> 00:50:49,940 This is where you live. 719 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,240 Right here. 720 00:50:52,340 --> 00:50:55,340 You live right here, okay? This is home. 721 00:50:55,980 --> 00:50:57,010 None of this. 722 00:50:57,650 --> 00:50:59,310 I don't wanna see none of that. 723 00:50:59,420 --> 00:51:01,510 Don't need no pizza. They got food there. 724 00:51:09,730 --> 00:51:12,820 Elbows, 6 inches from the waist, 90-degree angles. 725 00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,660 Don't you bite your lip. Stop it. 726 00:51:35,350 --> 00:51:38,350 Women relate dancing to sex, all right? 727 00:51:38,460 --> 00:51:41,450 Even a great dancer can lose it with one of these. 728 00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,120 Okay, now that's what I need to be learning. 729 00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:57,540 Can't stop it. 730 00:51:58,210 --> 00:52:00,070 You cannot stop it. 731 00:52:02,510 --> 00:52:03,670 Next subject. 732 00:52:05,780 --> 00:52:06,770 Get out. 733 00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,150 Thanks. 734 00:52:13,590 --> 00:52:15,680 So, are you a Knicks fan? 735 00:52:17,730 --> 00:52:19,420 When they're good. 736 00:52:25,970 --> 00:52:28,130 - I' m really sorry. - Oh, God. Why? 737 00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,810 - She was there? - I left you a bunch of messages. 738 00:52:32,310 --> 00:52:33,940 My phone fell in the Hudson. 739 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:35,440 Yeah, well, it gets worse. 740 00:52:39,380 --> 00:52:40,440 I don't believe this. 741 00:52:40,550 --> 00:52:44,490 - I thought he was a bodyguard. - I' m the only one who will need protection. 742 00:52:44,890 --> 00:52:47,290 - Max is gonna... - Gonna be really irritated. 743 00:52:47,930 --> 00:52:51,420 When I got the train this morning, I thought it was gonna be a good day. 744 00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,870 Who the hell is Albert Brennaman? 745 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,600 - Tell me how this happened. - What? There were some photographers. 746 00:52:58,740 --> 00:53:00,800 Does this even look like dancing to you? 747 00:53:01,210 --> 00:53:03,110 That's just a little bit of me being me. 748 00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:07,800 No, that's you being a lot of something you don't need to ever be again. 749 00:53:08,150 --> 00:53:09,670 - It's just one dance. - No. 750 00:53:10,350 --> 00:53:14,840 One dance, one look, one kiss. That's all we get, Albert. 751 00:53:15,050 --> 00:53:17,720 Just one shot to make the difference... 752 00:53:17,820 --> 00:53:20,310 between happily ever after and: 753 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:24,190 "Oh, he's just some guy I went to some thing with once." 754 00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,150 All right? 755 00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,570 - What? - You said "kiss." 756 00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:38,770 Is that a problem? 757 00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,310 It's not a problem, but this is Allegra Cole. 758 00:53:42,410 --> 00:53:44,750 Eight out of 10 women believe that the first kiss... 759 00:53:44,850 --> 00:53:47,880 will tell them everything they need to know about a relationship. 760 00:53:47,990 --> 00:53:51,420 And believe me, she has definitely thought about it. 761 00:53:51,890 --> 00:53:54,220 - She has? - Of course. 762 00:53:54,330 --> 00:53:57,950 Not that she's gonna act on it. So it's no real big deal. 763 00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,190 - All right, it's no big deal then. - It's a very big deal. 764 00:54:01,300 --> 00:54:02,770 - Huge. - Monumental. 765 00:54:02,870 --> 00:54:04,840 You are not listening... 766 00:54:06,300 --> 00:54:08,430 I need you to wrap your head around this. 767 00:54:08,540 --> 00:54:11,340 Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole... 768 00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:15,340 could have her last first kiss. 769 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,620 All right, come on, just show me what you got. 770 00:54:29,460 --> 00:54:32,120 - What do you mean? - Just show me how you would kiss me. 771 00:54:32,900 --> 00:54:34,060 I wouldn't kiss you. 772 00:54:34,530 --> 00:54:35,970 I'm not me, I' m Allegra. 773 00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,460 But you're really not, so... 774 00:54:40,570 --> 00:54:44,440 Okay, Albert, end of the night, you're dropping me off at home. 775 00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,270 - Show me the magic. - I' m not comfortable with this. 776 00:54:47,380 --> 00:54:50,970 God, Albert, I had such a wonderful time with you. 777 00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:52,780 Yeah, how about those Knicks? 778 00:54:53,750 --> 00:54:58,310 You see what I' m doing? This is a signal I' m fiddling with my keys. 779 00:54:58,420 --> 00:55:00,020 A woman that doesn't want a kiss... 780 00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,990 takes her keys out, puts them in the door, goes in the house. 781 00:55:03,090 --> 00:55:05,190 A woman that wants to kiss, she fiddles. 782 00:55:06,530 --> 00:55:07,900 I'm fiddling. 783 00:55:08,030 --> 00:55:09,860 Okay, you have a good night now... 784 00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,430 - You see what I' m doing? - Robbing me? 785 00:55:13,540 --> 00:55:14,600 No. 786 00:55:14,940 --> 00:55:17,700 This is what most guys do. They rush in to take the kiss. 787 00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:19,600 But you're not most guys. 788 00:55:20,410 --> 00:55:24,510 See, the secret to a kiss is to go 90% of the way... 789 00:55:25,650 --> 00:55:26,840 and then hold. 790 00:55:31,860 --> 00:55:34,020 - For how long? - As long as it takes... 791 00:55:34,590 --> 00:55:36,420 for her to come the other 10%. 792 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,430 Okay, 90% -10%. Got it. 793 00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:41,860 Okay, come on. Shake it off. It's your turn. 794 00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,970 I had a really nice time tonight, Albert. 795 00:55:50,580 --> 00:55:53,810 I had a great time tonight, too, Allegra... 796 00:55:55,780 --> 00:55:57,250 with a beard. 797 00:56:30,750 --> 00:56:31,720 What's up? 798 00:56:32,620 --> 00:56:35,450 - I' m not feeling it. - What do you mean? I came 90%. 799 00:56:35,590 --> 00:56:37,610 I'm not feeling like you want it. 800 00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:42,220 Look, I' m Allegra Cole, the woman of your dreams. 801 00:56:42,330 --> 00:56:46,090 The woman whose green eyes are limpid pools of desire. 802 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,500 Now, show me the magic, Albert. 803 00:56:48,970 --> 00:56:51,370 - What the hell was that? - I' m showing you the magic! 804 00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:53,600 No, I said come 90% and then I come 10%! 805 00:56:53,710 --> 00:56:55,260 You don't go the whole 100%! 806 00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:58,870 My mouth was open, Albert. You overeager son of a... 807 00:57:02,410 --> 00:57:03,880 Other than that, how was it? 808 00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:08,080 They came together, they danced together, and they left together. 809 00:57:08,590 --> 00:57:11,050 He's cute, in a sheepdog kind of way. 810 00:57:11,220 --> 00:57:13,210 For all I know, he's adorable. 811 00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:15,790 But him dating her is... 812 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,480 You seem stressed. 813 00:57:17,630 --> 00:57:19,360 You and I had an understanding. 814 00:57:19,460 --> 00:57:21,960 If you invite Allegra, you're supposed to call me. 815 00:57:22,130 --> 00:57:23,620 I didn't invite her. 816 00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,400 Honestly, sweetie, I thought she was still in Europe. 817 00:57:26,500 --> 00:57:28,800 - So you invited Albert? - No. 818 00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:33,500 Look, it says here the tickets went to some guy named Alex Hitchens. 819 00:57:33,610 --> 00:57:34,640 What? 820 00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:47,390 Machine. 821 00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:52,390 Hi, it's Sara. 822 00:57:55,730 --> 00:57:58,600 I just wanted to say thank you... 823 00:57:58,740 --> 00:58:03,440 for an unforgettable experience... 824 00:58:03,780 --> 00:58:04,900 the other day. 825 00:58:06,410 --> 00:58:08,810 And if you ever want to see your shirt again... 826 00:58:08,910 --> 00:58:12,870 you can come by the Fulton Fish Market tonight, around 8:00. 827 00:58:13,250 --> 00:58:15,220 Okay, bye. 828 00:58:18,790 --> 00:58:21,120 - Do you think he'll show? - Yeah. 829 00:58:21,460 --> 00:58:24,290 He's too much of a player to have a bad date on his record. 830 00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,460 Is this a source or a date? 831 00:58:28,670 --> 00:58:29,960 A source. 832 00:58:30,970 --> 00:58:32,630 Well, it sounded like a date. 833 00:58:33,670 --> 00:58:35,140 Well, it was supposed to. 834 00:58:38,310 --> 00:58:41,510 So it looks like a date and it sounds like a date... 835 00:58:41,910 --> 00:58:45,010 - but it's not a date. - Yeah. Right. 836 00:58:46,220 --> 00:58:47,380 Just checking. 837 00:59:07,570 --> 00:59:10,230 Hi. I wasn't sure you got my message. 838 00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:15,000 I wasn't sure you called the right guy. You must be a glutton for punishment. 839 00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:18,110 Either that or I really wanna pay you back. 840 00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:20,380 I think this is yours. 841 00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:24,690 Thank you. I'm gonna frame this for my wall of shame. 842 00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:27,220 Really? There's a whole wall? 843 00:59:27,490 --> 00:59:29,120 So what are we getting into? 844 00:59:31,630 --> 00:59:33,530 Ever been to a food rave before? 845 00:59:33,630 --> 00:59:37,570 Happens once a month, all around the city. Different chefs, different venues. 846 00:59:37,770 --> 00:59:39,000 You any good in the kitchen? 847 00:59:39,140 --> 00:59:41,370 I can stand the heat, if that's what you mean. 848 00:59:41,470 --> 00:59:45,270 Good. Because that's my boss and his wife right over there. 849 00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:46,980 Interesting. 850 00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:51,150 Well, here's a concept: We're paying to cook our own food. 851 00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,410 Here's another concept: Shut up. It's an evening out. 852 00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:56,750 The longer you're married, the less you go out. 853 00:59:56,850 --> 01:00:01,120 In a couple of years, we're gonna end up bricked into our apartment like a Poe story. 854 01:00:02,130 --> 01:00:04,860 So, Louise, are you in the newspaper business, also? 855 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:06,330 No, I' m a psychiatrist. 856 01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:11,100 Well, that's the last thing I'm gonna say tonight. 857 01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:15,430 So, Sara, you never told me. 858 01:00:15,710 --> 01:00:19,540 How was the Sky Studio fashion thing you went to the other night? 859 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:22,980 Did you meet anyone worth mentioning? 860 01:00:23,380 --> 01:00:24,440 No. 861 01:00:26,150 --> 01:00:29,850 Really? I find that very odd. 862 01:00:30,390 --> 01:00:32,690 - Max. - I think you're being odd. 863 01:00:32,820 --> 01:00:36,280 Well, I' m always odd. It's why you married me. 864 01:00:36,430 --> 01:00:38,550 And it's why I married you. 865 01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,290 Speaking of which, Hitch... 866 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:45,230 what exactly are your intentions for the lovely Sara? 867 01:00:45,370 --> 01:00:48,630 Wait, you know what? Actually, there was someone. 868 01:00:51,110 --> 01:00:53,840 I think I met your friends Albert and Allegra. 869 01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:57,380 - My friends who and who? - Allegra Cole? 870 01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:59,710 Really? How do you know her? 871 01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,380 - I don't. - So you know Albert? 872 01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:06,980 - Knew. - He had your tickets. 873 01:01:07,090 --> 01:01:10,530 I mean, how well do you really know your accountant? 874 01:01:11,730 --> 01:01:15,600 April 15, and then you don't see him again till April 15. 875 01:01:17,100 --> 01:01:18,400 Ladies and gentlemen... 876 01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:21,700 a coquille St. Jacques with a lemon butter reduction. 877 01:01:21,910 --> 01:01:24,030 - Compliments of our chef. - Thank you. 878 01:01:24,140 --> 01:01:26,200 I'm sure you're really gonna enjoy this. 879 01:01:34,150 --> 01:01:35,480 That's really good. 880 01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:38,650 I'm very impressed. 881 01:01:39,860 --> 01:01:40,880 Why is that? 882 01:01:41,930 --> 01:01:46,630 Around these two, people usually can't wait to name-drop and dish their friends... 883 01:01:46,730 --> 01:01:48,260 and you're being all discreet. 884 01:01:48,370 --> 01:01:50,490 Yeah, it's quite endearing. 885 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,430 Actually, it is. So why don't we change the subject? 886 01:01:55,870 --> 01:01:58,900 - Are you all right? - Yeah. No, I' m fine. 887 01:01:59,710 --> 01:02:03,650 So Sara tells me that you're a consultant, Hitch. 888 01:02:04,220 --> 01:02:08,980 Yeah, mostly marketing, little advertising, brand management. 889 01:02:10,020 --> 01:02:12,320 I have no idea what that means. 890 01:02:12,490 --> 01:02:15,290 No one does. That's why I get to charge so much. 891 01:02:19,460 --> 01:02:21,290 Are you sure you're all right? 892 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:26,130 Yeah, I' m fine. Is it itchy in here or is it just me? 893 01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:29,860 - I know what's happening. - No. 894 01:02:30,310 --> 01:02:32,210 You think that I' m in a stressful state... 895 01:02:32,340 --> 01:02:34,500 because I' m trying to make a good impression... 896 01:02:34,650 --> 01:02:37,810 while also dealing with my commitment issues... 897 01:02:39,150 --> 01:02:42,090 trying to avoid all these awkward conversations. 898 01:02:42,690 --> 01:02:45,320 No, I think you have food allergies. 899 01:02:48,690 --> 01:02:50,160 - Wow. - What? 900 01:02:52,730 --> 01:02:54,860 - Benadryl Where's the Benadryl. - Aisle 2. 901 01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,660 - Which one's Aisle 2? - The one with the big 2 over it. 902 01:02:57,770 --> 01:02:59,330 Sara, I' m fine. 903 01:02:59,470 --> 01:03:01,600 - You sure it's in Aisle 2? - No. 904 01:03:01,770 --> 01:03:03,800 Really, it is not that serious. 905 01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:09,180 Benadryl. 906 01:03:10,210 --> 01:03:13,450 - A lot of Benadryl A lot. - What? Are you... 907 01:03:27,970 --> 01:03:30,700 Coquille St. Jacques. Death on a leaf! 908 01:03:35,140 --> 01:03:36,230 Come on! 909 01:03:47,490 --> 01:03:49,280 Okay, we're doing fine. 910 01:03:49,390 --> 01:03:51,860 Just a couple more blocks and you get to lie down. 911 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,660 Wait, who sings that song again? 912 01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:04,630 Oh, girl Earth, Wind & Fire. 913 01:04:04,770 --> 01:04:06,600 You should let them sing it. 914 01:04:10,310 --> 01:04:14,040 I bet this would be great on the rocks. It's good, right? 915 01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:19,450 I bet I can ask you just about anything right now. 916 01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:20,740 No. 917 01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:23,380 I'm a vault, baby. Locked down. 918 01:04:25,260 --> 01:04:28,660 What is an heiress doing with a CPA? 919 01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:30,890 They're going to the Knicks game. 920 01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,530 Yep, Fort Knox. 921 01:04:35,370 --> 01:04:37,960 He loves her so much! 922 01:04:38,540 --> 01:04:40,060 I'm sure he does. 923 01:04:40,670 --> 01:04:45,010 I'm telling you, people search their whole lives trying to find the... 924 01:04:45,140 --> 01:04:48,040 Reasons that we're here. 925 01:04:49,210 --> 01:04:50,480 I wouldn't know. 926 01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:52,920 You would if you saw it. 927 01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:56,880 Sometimes it's really hard to see the forest through the sleaze. 928 01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:00,450 What about you? You ever been in love? 929 01:05:05,730 --> 01:05:06,860 Yep. 930 01:05:11,140 --> 01:05:12,900 But you're never gonna know that. 931 01:05:16,670 --> 01:05:19,670 Okay, I think you've had enough of the juice box. 932 01:05:22,380 --> 01:05:23,710 Let's go. 933 01:05:30,690 --> 01:05:32,420 This is some place. 934 01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:35,050 You live here alone? 935 01:05:36,890 --> 01:05:41,490 Yeah. I actually prefer it that way. What about you? 936 01:05:42,130 --> 01:05:46,430 I haven't had a roommate since college, and he upped and married my sister. 937 01:05:46,570 --> 01:05:49,230 - Really? - Yeah, they're gonna have a baby soon. 938 01:05:49,770 --> 01:05:51,240 Uncle Hitch. 939 01:05:52,910 --> 01:05:54,240 Thank you. 940 01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:03,220 - So, how do you feel. - Good. 941 01:06:04,590 --> 01:06:05,850 Relaxed. 942 01:06:07,390 --> 01:06:09,050 So what about you? Any siblings? 943 01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:15,260 Sister. Maria. Lives in D.C. 944 01:06:17,570 --> 01:06:19,090 Younger, right? 945 01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:23,430 I could hear it in your voice. 946 01:06:25,010 --> 01:06:28,470 Sort of an innate protective thing. 947 01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:32,410 Yeah, I guess. 948 01:06:38,290 --> 01:06:39,280 What? 949 01:06:42,630 --> 01:06:43,960 She almost died once. 950 01:06:49,100 --> 01:06:50,260 I was 10. 951 01:06:59,180 --> 01:07:01,940 We were skating on the pond behind our house... 952 01:07:02,380 --> 01:07:03,970 and she fell through the ice. 953 01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:07,920 My dad pulled her out. 954 01:07:12,190 --> 01:07:13,710 Gave her mouth-to-mouth. 955 01:07:17,460 --> 01:07:19,930 Longest three minutes of my life. 956 01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:23,320 Yeah, I' m sure. 957 01:07:29,570 --> 01:07:32,100 I don't think I' ve ever really gotten over it. 958 01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:39,110 Kind of defines you, doesn't it? 959 01:07:44,150 --> 01:07:48,720 You know like, one moment you're gliding along... 960 01:07:50,090 --> 01:07:54,030 the next moment you're standing in the rain watching your life fall apart. 961 01:07:56,100 --> 01:07:57,430 Except it was snow. 962 01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,160 Yeah. That's what I said, "snow." 963 01:08:04,510 --> 01:08:05,600 You said "rain." 964 01:08:07,780 --> 01:08:10,140 Some kind of precipitation. 965 01:08:14,950 --> 01:08:16,510 Is that what happened to you? 966 01:08:21,030 --> 01:08:24,360 Nothing as dramatic as falling through the ice. 967 01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:30,090 You know... 968 01:08:31,470 --> 01:08:32,990 it definitely... 969 01:08:36,770 --> 01:08:38,210 Left a scar? 970 01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:41,600 Yeah. 971 01:08:54,290 --> 01:08:57,780 I guess it's best just not to love at all, right? 972 01:09:02,130 --> 01:09:03,430 Or skate. 973 01:09:31,530 --> 01:09:33,000 Are you here? 974 01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:47,140 Sara, you're such an idiot! You moron! What the hell did you think? 975 01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:50,340 You're so stupid! You gotta learn, Sara. 976 01:09:50,480 --> 01:09:53,110 - When are you gonna learn... - Should I come back later? 977 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:58,780 Hi. I thought you left. 978 01:09:59,020 --> 01:10:03,620 Well, I did, but then I came back with breakfast. 979 01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:07,720 I figured it was the least that I could do. 980 01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:11,890 I didn't know what you were drinking... 981 01:10:12,270 --> 01:10:17,000 so I got a grande cap, a latte, an Earl Grey tea... 982 01:10:17,270 --> 01:10:19,440 and something with "chai" in the title. 983 01:10:21,450 --> 01:10:22,640 Tea for me. 984 01:10:22,750 --> 01:10:25,480 Tea. Yes! I was hoping you'd say that. 985 01:10:28,450 --> 01:10:31,720 Oh, God. You're a morning person, aren't you? 986 01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:36,150 Well, like I always tell my clients: 987 01:10:36,260 --> 01:10:39,250 Begin each day as if it were on purpose. 988 01:10:46,970 --> 01:10:49,060 - Wow. Beautiful day. - Yeah. 989 01:10:50,770 --> 01:10:53,210 - Beautiful girl. - Thank you. 990 01:10:55,110 --> 01:10:57,010 Well, I' m this way. 991 01:10:57,480 --> 01:10:59,850 I'm that way. 992 01:11:01,150 --> 01:11:03,350 Give me a ring sometime. 993 01:11:05,260 --> 01:11:07,050 I mean, on the phone. 994 01:11:09,660 --> 01:11:12,290 No, I definitely will. 995 01:11:14,930 --> 01:11:16,060 Good. 996 01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:47,160 I gotta go to work. 997 01:11:56,940 --> 01:11:58,070 Bye. 998 01:12:00,640 --> 01:12:01,910 Goodbye. 999 01:12:26,700 --> 01:12:29,870 Can you believe what a beautiful day it is... 1000 01:12:30,510 --> 01:12:31,770 not? 1001 01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:35,000 - What's wrong, pumpkin? - I' m so stupid. 1002 01:12:35,680 --> 01:12:37,940 I ignored your advice. I went on that date. 1003 01:12:38,050 --> 01:12:39,070 With who? 1004 01:12:40,050 --> 01:12:41,640 Not the lingerie guy. 1005 01:12:41,750 --> 01:12:45,120 Vance Munson. And you're right, there's no way he ever had a mother. 1006 01:12:45,260 --> 01:12:46,550 That bad? 1007 01:12:46,890 --> 01:12:51,050 He took me to Scalinatella, and he was affectionate and sweet. 1008 01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:54,960 He told me all these intimate things, like how he can't taste food... 1009 01:12:55,070 --> 01:12:56,560 and he wants three kids. 1010 01:12:56,700 --> 01:12:57,960 So you slept with him. 1011 01:12:59,270 --> 01:13:01,260 I never seen anybody get dressed that fast. 1012 01:13:01,370 --> 01:13:03,130 Case, I' m so sorry. 1013 01:13:05,010 --> 01:13:08,380 - Maybe I' II just die alone after all. - No, you won't. 1014 01:13:08,510 --> 01:13:12,880 You'll meet a great guy with a great smile and you'll travel the world together. 1015 01:13:13,020 --> 01:13:15,140 Who are you? Where's my best friend? 1016 01:13:15,250 --> 01:13:18,480 It's true. He just hasn't found you yet. But he will. 1017 01:13:18,590 --> 01:13:22,320 Just as he's leaving, guess what he says: "Date Doctor, my ass." 1018 01:13:22,430 --> 01:13:25,330 - What does that mean? - It means he's really out there. 1019 01:13:25,430 --> 01:13:29,300 And if I ever meet him, the only date he's gonna need is with a real doctor. 1020 01:13:41,950 --> 01:13:43,040 That's him. 1021 01:13:43,480 --> 01:13:45,570 Vance, is that you? 1022 01:13:46,280 --> 01:13:49,220 Yeah, hey there, beautiful 1023 01:13:49,320 --> 01:13:50,790 Sara Melas, from the Standard. 1024 01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:53,390 I'd like to discuss the dating consultant you hired... 1025 01:13:53,490 --> 01:13:55,650 before you went out with Casey Sedgewick. 1026 01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:02,600 You don't wanna talk, that's fine. I'm going to write this anyway. 1027 01:14:02,700 --> 01:14:05,500 You just earned yourself a photo with a boldface caption. 1028 01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:07,070 What? Nice. 1029 01:14:07,170 --> 01:14:10,940 I can only imagine how the trading floor guys will react when they see this. 1030 01:14:11,040 --> 01:14:12,770 You have no proof, no facts. 1031 01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:15,610 Vance, I' m a gossip columnist, not the DA. 1032 01:14:15,710 --> 01:14:18,480 Okay, how much will it cost me to stay out of this? 1033 01:14:18,620 --> 01:14:20,410 I don't want money. I want a name. 1034 01:14:20,520 --> 01:14:22,850 - I don't know his name. - Well, what do you know? 1035 01:14:25,790 --> 01:14:27,190 I know this. 1036 01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:35,620 All this for a lousy lay. 1037 01:14:36,130 --> 01:14:37,430 Are we satisfied? 1038 01:14:39,170 --> 01:14:40,360 Almost. 1039 01:14:44,210 --> 01:14:47,110 No, you... You got to be... 1040 01:14:52,980 --> 01:14:54,380 Is this really necessary? 1041 01:14:55,020 --> 01:14:56,490 Have you seen your back? 1042 01:14:56,590 --> 01:15:00,390 No, but I see my front and maybe we should be starting with some sit-ups. 1043 01:15:01,190 --> 01:15:02,820 God! Mother of Troy! 1044 01:15:06,360 --> 01:15:07,560 Hello? 1045 01:15:09,030 --> 01:15:12,830 That's crazy. Just hearing your voice makes me smile. 1046 01:15:12,940 --> 01:15:14,230 How are you? 1047 01:15:14,370 --> 01:15:16,530 I'm good, I think. 1048 01:15:16,770 --> 01:15:20,300 No, actually, you know what? I feel a little strange. 1049 01:15:22,510 --> 01:15:23,810 I'm good. 1050 01:15:25,220 --> 01:15:26,580 Sweet Georgia Brown! 1051 01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:27,840 What was that? 1052 01:15:27,950 --> 01:15:31,010 No, that's just some guy screaming. 1053 01:15:32,190 --> 01:15:34,020 Listen, is there any context... 1054 01:15:34,120 --> 01:15:39,220 under which you'd consider facial edema and pharmaceutical intervention a date? 1055 01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,000 Probably not. 1056 01:15:42,100 --> 01:15:43,360 How about a do-over? 1057 01:15:43,470 --> 01:15:46,400 - What do you have in mind? - Dinner, my place. 1058 01:15:46,640 --> 01:15:50,230 Because obviously going anywhere public with you is out of the question. 1059 01:15:51,170 --> 01:15:53,940 God! That's it. I don't like you very much. 1060 01:15:54,040 --> 01:15:55,410 What is that? 1061 01:15:55,550 --> 01:15:56,740 Wait, I' m getting up. 1062 01:15:57,110 --> 01:15:59,510 It's like one of those makeover shows. 1063 01:15:59,620 --> 01:16:01,710 - That's a makeover show? - It's Danish. 1064 01:16:01,820 --> 01:16:03,510 Almost done! 1065 01:16:04,550 --> 01:16:05,750 Friday? 1066 01:16:05,990 --> 01:16:10,720 Can't. I told a friend I' d go speed dating. You know, for moral support. 1067 01:16:10,990 --> 01:16:12,550 But tomorrow I' m free. 1068 01:16:13,930 --> 01:16:15,860 Great. All right, 8:00? 1069 01:16:16,130 --> 01:16:17,120 Great. 1070 01:16:17,270 --> 01:16:20,070 - All right. Bye-bye. - Bye. 1071 01:16:25,410 --> 01:16:28,610 - See, it wasn't so bad, was it? - God! 1072 01:16:33,020 --> 01:16:35,580 Ball is back in play after a 20-second timeout. 1073 01:16:35,690 --> 01:16:39,820 Knicks lead the Grizzlies, 12-6, here early in the first quarter. 1074 01:16:49,630 --> 01:16:52,190 - So this is what this feels like? - "This" being? 1075 01:16:52,840 --> 01:16:54,960 Great seats, great game. 1076 01:16:56,540 --> 01:16:58,410 Great date. 1077 01:17:00,610 --> 01:17:02,240 I mean, sort of. 1078 01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:05,210 To me, it feels like a... 1079 01:17:05,880 --> 01:17:07,910 - Date? - Yeah. 1080 01:17:13,790 --> 01:17:15,520 Look at her. She looks so happy. 1081 01:17:16,390 --> 01:17:18,950 How does a guy like that end up with a girl like her? 1082 01:17:25,070 --> 01:17:28,270 I am so jealous. I've always wanted to be able to do that. 1083 01:17:28,610 --> 01:17:31,700 Really? Tonight is your lucky night. Let's see what you got. 1084 01:17:31,810 --> 01:17:33,470 Okay. You ready? 1085 01:17:36,350 --> 01:17:39,610 - Oh, God. I' m sorry. - It's fine. 1086 01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:41,880 Knicks off to a great start... 1087 01:17:42,020 --> 01:17:43,510 All right, here's how it works. 1088 01:17:43,620 --> 01:17:47,850 Central Park Zoo, tomorrow, noon, by the sea lions. 1089 01:17:49,060 --> 01:17:50,690 No, don't worry. I' II find you. 1090 01:17:51,230 --> 01:17:53,030 All right. Thank you. 1091 01:18:11,620 --> 01:18:13,950 It's all right. I' m sorry. 1092 01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:15,680 Damn me. 1093 01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:22,520 That was it! You got it. Do it again. 1094 01:18:24,230 --> 01:18:25,590 Look how cute they are. 1095 01:18:56,930 --> 01:18:58,120 Thanks. 1096 01:19:14,510 --> 01:19:16,640 I had a great time tonight, Albert. 1097 01:19:17,810 --> 01:19:20,510 I had a great time, too, Allegra. 1098 01:19:41,240 --> 01:19:42,670 Good night. 1099 01:19:43,170 --> 01:19:44,500 Good night, Albert. 1100 01:19:58,190 --> 01:20:00,350 - Allegra. - Yes? 1101 01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:05,820 Hold on. 1102 01:20:28,020 --> 01:20:29,680 Ilike your lips. 1103 01:20:33,790 --> 01:20:35,490 They seem to like you, too. 1104 01:20:43,970 --> 01:20:45,370 Good night. 1105 01:20:46,040 --> 01:20:47,400 Good night. 1106 01:21:23,610 --> 01:21:25,800 - Anything? - Not yet. 1107 01:21:26,610 --> 01:21:29,100 But I got some great shots of you biting your nails. 1108 01:21:29,510 --> 01:21:30,880 Well, it's a big story. 1109 01:21:32,850 --> 01:21:34,410 - Incoming. - Really? 1110 01:21:34,520 --> 01:21:35,810 Yep. They're shaking hands. 1111 01:21:35,950 --> 01:21:38,280 This is so great. I can't wait to nail this guy. 1112 01:21:38,420 --> 01:21:40,410 Make sure you get a good shot of his face. 1113 01:21:40,520 --> 01:21:42,920 - What's he look like? - Tall, dark, and handsome. 1114 01:21:43,090 --> 01:21:44,690 Basic principles: 1115 01:21:44,830 --> 01:21:47,190 No matter what, no matter who, no matter when. 1116 01:21:47,330 --> 01:21:49,030 This is killing me. 1117 01:21:49,170 --> 01:21:50,830 Geoff is managing to play it straight. 1118 01:21:50,970 --> 01:21:52,760 How long have you been in love with her? 1119 01:21:52,870 --> 01:21:56,530 Her? About two-and-a-half years. 1120 01:21:59,210 --> 01:22:00,370 Take a look. 1121 01:22:08,490 --> 01:22:11,650 - How'd you get my card? - Albert Brennaman. 1122 01:22:11,750 --> 01:22:13,780 - Great guy, isn't he? - Excellent guy. 1123 01:22:16,190 --> 01:22:17,630 What? Sara. 1124 01:22:23,900 --> 01:22:27,130 - Pleasure to meet you, Geoff. - Hey, what... 1125 01:22:31,740 --> 01:22:35,340 - How'd you get my card? - Albert Brennaman. 1126 01:22:35,580 --> 01:22:37,740 - Great guy, isn't he? - Excellent guy. 1127 01:22:40,080 --> 01:22:41,640 You sure you want to do this? 1128 01:22:42,390 --> 01:22:43,410 Why wouldn't I 1129 01:22:46,920 --> 01:22:51,380 Louise made an interesting observation on the way home the other night. 1130 01:22:52,530 --> 01:22:55,990 She said people who are guarded are afraid... 1131 01:22:57,030 --> 01:22:58,970 that you can see right through them. 1132 01:22:59,100 --> 01:23:03,370 That's why they hide behind layers of secrecy or humor. 1133 01:23:03,570 --> 01:23:06,940 He'll have to hide behind a lot more than that once this hits the fan. 1134 01:23:07,710 --> 01:23:08,900 She meant you. 1135 01:23:14,250 --> 01:23:15,680 What do you want me to say? 1136 01:23:17,220 --> 01:23:21,380 That I like the guy? Yeah, sure, I liked the guy. 1137 01:23:23,130 --> 01:23:25,560 Well, here's his shirt. 1138 01:23:27,630 --> 01:23:31,590 - Why don't you think about it? Call me. - Thanks. 1139 01:23:43,410 --> 01:23:45,640 Papi, Sara Melas is here to see you. 1140 01:23:47,150 --> 01:23:50,210 Thanks a lot, Raoul Send her up. And stop calling me papi. 1141 01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:05,300 Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. 1142 01:24:06,600 --> 01:24:08,760 I believe this belongs to you. 1143 01:24:12,980 --> 01:24:15,600 Yeah, this thing is like a bad penny. 1144 01:24:15,710 --> 01:24:16,840 Wow! 1145 01:24:17,980 --> 01:24:19,470 So this is it. 1146 01:24:20,180 --> 01:24:21,840 Yeah, this is it. 1147 01:24:23,690 --> 01:24:25,590 Business must be good. 1148 01:24:26,220 --> 01:24:28,820 Well, it has its rewards. 1149 01:24:30,660 --> 01:24:31,990 I'll bet. 1150 01:24:33,460 --> 01:24:34,790 Tough day? 1151 01:24:35,870 --> 01:24:37,160 You could say that. 1152 01:24:38,640 --> 01:24:41,760 Well, you know what? You can just sit back and relax. 1153 01:24:41,870 --> 01:24:43,700 I got this all covered. 1154 01:24:46,880 --> 01:24:49,370 Spanish wine! 1155 01:24:51,180 --> 01:24:53,810 How thoughtful are we? 1156 01:24:53,920 --> 01:24:56,820 - Here, let me pour that for you. - No, that's okay. 1157 01:24:57,420 --> 01:25:00,150 - You want some? - Sure. 1158 01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:04,050 So, Hitch. 1159 01:25:04,730 --> 01:25:08,130 Is that a noun or a verb? 1160 01:25:10,830 --> 01:25:12,100 I guess it depends. 1161 01:25:14,700 --> 01:25:18,500 Let's see, what should we toast to? 1162 01:25:21,680 --> 01:25:24,580 Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. 1163 01:25:25,580 --> 01:25:28,780 But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. 1164 01:25:29,720 --> 01:25:32,650 If you must steal, steal away from bad company. 1165 01:25:32,760 --> 01:25:35,520 If you must cheat, cheat death. 1166 01:25:36,430 --> 01:25:37,790 And if you must drink... 1167 01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:41,590 drink in the moments that take your breath away. 1168 01:25:43,870 --> 01:25:45,420 Did you just make that up? 1169 01:25:57,850 --> 01:25:59,250 Make yourself at home. 1170 01:25:59,920 --> 01:26:02,250 I'm gonna check on the risotto. 1171 01:26:03,990 --> 01:26:07,220 Look at this! Which one's the music? 1172 01:26:14,530 --> 01:26:16,330 It does lights, too? 1173 01:26:18,500 --> 01:26:20,990 Let me help you out with that. 1174 01:26:21,140 --> 01:26:23,800 Now, this is nifty. 1175 01:26:25,440 --> 01:26:26,740 What are you doing? 1176 01:26:27,210 --> 01:26:29,300 How does it work, exactly? 1177 01:26:30,950 --> 01:26:35,850 Well, usually you have dinner, then you have dessert. 1178 01:26:36,720 --> 01:26:40,090 No, I mean your thriving business. 1179 01:26:44,530 --> 01:26:45,930 I don't do interviews. 1180 01:26:47,860 --> 01:26:51,600 But if you'd like to get back to the evening, I'd be happy to sit and talk. 1181 01:26:51,700 --> 01:26:53,640 Great idea. You start. 1182 01:26:54,940 --> 01:26:59,470 Well, maybe I would if you weren't snarling. 1183 01:27:06,050 --> 01:27:08,020 What if I told you... 1184 01:27:08,120 --> 01:27:13,050 that I know exactly what you do and how you do it? 1185 01:27:13,190 --> 01:27:15,090 And I think it's despicable! 1186 01:27:15,190 --> 01:27:18,020 You know what? We might need to go out to dinner. 1187 01:27:18,160 --> 01:27:21,720 There's a great seafood restaurant I'd love to take you to. 1188 01:27:23,770 --> 01:27:25,890 How about you just get a cleaver, butcher? 1189 01:27:26,440 --> 01:27:29,410 - Maybe I will! - What the hell is wrong with you? 1190 01:27:29,540 --> 01:27:31,370 Nothing a front-page story can't cure. 1191 01:27:31,510 --> 01:27:32,910 So that's what this is all about? 1192 01:27:33,040 --> 01:27:35,840 Albert and Allegra on the front of your crap-ass newspaper? 1193 01:27:35,950 --> 01:27:37,740 - You put them there! - No, you did! 1194 01:27:37,880 --> 01:27:40,540 No, he did! The minute he called you! 1195 01:28:08,110 --> 01:28:10,170 Dr. Hitch. Listen to me, papi. 1196 01:28:10,280 --> 01:28:14,270 I need to bring my partner, Amir, somewhere amazing for our anniversary. 1197 01:28:14,950 --> 01:28:17,850 Maybe it's not your thing, but maybe it is. 1198 01:28:17,950 --> 01:28:19,920 What the hell are you talking about, Raoul. 1199 01:28:20,060 --> 01:28:21,550 It's you, no? 1200 01:28:42,080 --> 01:28:46,040 So, my friend, how was she? Pretty good? 1201 01:28:50,150 --> 01:28:52,640 How was she? I' II tell you! She was great! 1202 01:29:07,140 --> 01:29:08,400 Isn't that the Date Doctor? 1203 01:29:08,500 --> 01:29:11,630 - I' m telling you, that's him. - He doesn't look anything like him. 1204 01:29:11,770 --> 01:29:14,400 - Excuse me. Do you know him? - No. 1205 01:29:14,880 --> 01:29:18,470 I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that he did not hire you. 1206 01:29:18,610 --> 01:29:22,410 Ma'am, I have never seen this man before in my life. 1207 01:29:22,520 --> 01:29:23,580 See you later, Tony. 1208 01:29:23,690 --> 01:29:26,280 Tony? You have got some serious explaining to do. 1209 01:29:26,390 --> 01:29:28,360 Albert. Hitch. You all right? 1210 01:29:28,490 --> 01:29:31,290 I can't really talk right now. I'm kind of tied up. 1211 01:29:31,390 --> 01:29:33,360 One, two. On three. 1212 01:29:41,400 --> 01:29:43,270 Women will remain seated. 1213 01:29:43,370 --> 01:29:46,540 Men will rotate to the left at the buzzer. 1214 01:29:46,840 --> 01:29:48,870 You get two minutes each, four minutes total. 1215 01:29:49,010 --> 01:29:52,570 So trade your talk time when you hear... 1216 01:29:54,850 --> 01:29:56,040 the gong. 1217 01:29:56,190 --> 01:29:58,090 If it's mutual, you get numbers. 1218 01:29:58,220 --> 01:30:01,710 If not, better luck next time, okay? 1219 01:30:02,590 --> 01:30:05,060 Ladies, take your seats. 1220 01:30:06,430 --> 01:30:11,090 Case, you are a living testimonial to the triumph of hope over experience. 1221 01:30:11,230 --> 01:30:12,390 Thanks for coming. 1222 01:30:12,540 --> 01:30:15,730 I know it's lame. I' m sure it's the last thing you feel like doing. 1223 01:30:16,010 --> 01:30:19,960 I really prefer Rachmaninoff to the heavier romantic composers. 1224 01:30:20,140 --> 01:30:23,200 But despite the pan-Germanic anti-Semitism... 1225 01:30:23,310 --> 01:30:26,410 I'd still have to say my favorite is Wagner. 1226 01:30:28,750 --> 01:30:31,240 - Nice talking to you. - Thank you. Bye. 1227 01:30:31,390 --> 01:30:32,450 Bye. 1228 01:30:34,320 --> 01:30:35,590 Excuse me. 1229 01:30:36,160 --> 01:30:37,750 That's my seat, man. 1230 01:30:39,900 --> 01:30:41,890 My name is Ron. I' m 28. 1231 01:30:42,000 --> 01:30:44,520 Albert Brennaman is a good man. 1232 01:30:44,670 --> 01:30:47,430 In fact, Albert Brennaman is a great man. 1233 01:30:47,570 --> 01:30:50,270 I just got out of a five-year relationship. 1234 01:30:50,410 --> 01:30:53,270 I'm a lot of fun at parties. I like dogs... 1235 01:30:53,410 --> 01:30:56,070 And then you're mad at me for what I do for a living? 1236 01:30:56,180 --> 01:30:57,540 I've already got your number... 1237 01:30:57,650 --> 01:31:00,240 so why don't you go consult your conscience? 1238 01:31:00,350 --> 01:31:03,110 - Albert is in love with her. - Just like Sebastian? 1239 01:31:03,250 --> 01:31:05,150 - Is there a problem? - No, just one sec. 1240 01:31:05,290 --> 01:31:08,050 - What do you have against Allegra anyway? - Nothing. 1241 01:31:08,160 --> 01:31:11,250 My interest is protecting women from assholes like you. 1242 01:31:11,360 --> 01:31:13,060 I did ice climbing once. 1243 01:31:13,160 --> 01:31:15,460 - You don't even know me. - And whose fault is that? 1244 01:31:15,600 --> 01:31:18,400 ...the sun comes up, the ice really starts to fall apart. 1245 01:31:18,500 --> 01:31:19,730 I bet. I' m sorry. 1246 01:31:19,840 --> 01:31:21,930 - Do you know this guy? - Apparently not. 1247 01:31:22,040 --> 01:31:23,670 You're in my seat. 1248 01:31:23,810 --> 01:31:27,300 You really... I'm doing you a favor, believe me. 1249 01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:31,570 Basically, I like outdoor sports. But indoor sports have their place, too. 1250 01:31:31,680 --> 01:31:34,340 There are certain aspects of my job that are secretive. 1251 01:31:34,480 --> 01:31:36,610 And my job is to try to find the truth. 1252 01:31:36,720 --> 01:31:40,350 The truth? You wouldn't know the truth if it kicked you in the head. 1253 01:31:40,490 --> 01:31:43,080 If Albert Brennaman has to take a fall for it, so be it. 1254 01:31:43,190 --> 01:31:45,420 Why don't you say what's really pissing you off? 1255 01:31:45,530 --> 01:31:47,020 I've been waiting to talk to her... 1256 01:31:47,160 --> 01:31:49,630 - You want to sit down? Here you go. Gong! - Thank you. 1257 01:31:49,730 --> 01:31:50,790 Excuse me. 1258 01:31:50,900 --> 01:31:53,960 Hi. Actually, you're not supposed to move. 1259 01:31:54,070 --> 01:31:56,830 I'm Alex Hitchens. No, it's okay. Go. 1260 01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,530 - I' m Casey. - Hi, Casey. 1261 01:31:58,670 --> 01:32:01,640 I work for a small publishing house in the press department... 1262 01:32:01,740 --> 01:32:04,800 which isn't actually where I want to be. But it's a good house... 1263 01:32:04,910 --> 01:32:07,470 You handled me. You manipulated me. 1264 01:32:07,580 --> 01:32:11,210 You researched me and you showed me my great-grandfather's signature. 1265 01:32:11,350 --> 01:32:13,480 Wait. You're Ellis Island? 1266 01:32:13,590 --> 01:32:15,490 - I thought that was real sweet. - Thank you. 1267 01:32:15,590 --> 01:32:17,250 Case, you're not helping. 1268 01:32:17,360 --> 01:32:18,990 Excuse me, I' m on a date. 1269 01:32:20,330 --> 01:32:23,990 Does it ever occur to women that maybe a guy might like to have a plan... 1270 01:32:24,100 --> 01:32:25,570 because he's nervous? 1271 01:32:25,700 --> 01:32:29,660 He's not sure that he could just walk up to you and you'd respond if he said: 1272 01:32:29,770 --> 01:32:31,240 "I like you." 1273 01:32:35,680 --> 01:32:38,770 - That sounds good to me. - True, you can't tell them you like them. 1274 01:32:38,880 --> 01:32:42,080 - I tried that. It didn't go well. - I' ve crashed and burned on that. 1275 01:32:42,220 --> 01:32:44,880 That is what you did, and I did like you! 1276 01:32:45,020 --> 01:32:48,050 I just didn't know I was being worked over by some professional. 1277 01:32:48,160 --> 01:32:49,520 He doesn't have a badge. 1278 01:32:50,190 --> 01:32:52,220 The only time he was sincere or spontaneous... 1279 01:32:52,360 --> 01:32:56,160 was when everything was going wrong or when you were stoned out of your head. 1280 01:32:56,270 --> 01:32:59,560 - I' m sorry to interrupt. Do I know you? - No, I don't think so. 1281 01:32:59,700 --> 01:33:02,570 - You wanna see me be spontaneous? - Sure, you want a Benadryl. 1282 01:33:02,710 --> 01:33:07,270 This is really kind of distracting. And I haven't gotten laid in a year! 1283 01:33:13,620 --> 01:33:16,450 We're sorry. Why don't you guys get back to your date? 1284 01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:19,690 Or go somewhere. 1285 01:33:20,760 --> 01:33:21,980 Maybe from the bank? 1286 01:33:22,590 --> 01:33:26,360 If this doesn't work out, call him. He might hook you up with Paris Hilton. 1287 01:33:26,460 --> 01:33:29,800 Wait, that's it. You're the Date Doctor, right? 1288 01:33:34,440 --> 01:33:37,410 - You're the Date Doctor? - Do we have a problem here? 1289 01:33:37,510 --> 01:33:42,100 Yeah, a big one! What the hell did I ever do to you? 1290 01:33:44,080 --> 01:33:45,480 Am I missing something? 1291 01:33:45,980 --> 01:33:48,040 Sir, I' m gonna have to ask you to leave. 1292 01:33:48,350 --> 01:33:50,980 Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy Vance? 1293 01:33:56,830 --> 01:33:57,920 Wow. 1294 01:33:59,830 --> 01:34:01,020 I don't believe this. 1295 01:34:04,670 --> 01:34:06,030 That's your source? 1296 01:34:06,940 --> 01:34:08,460 You buried yourself, Alex. 1297 01:34:09,140 --> 01:34:10,800 Then you weren't listening. 1298 01:34:10,940 --> 01:34:13,140 I heard every word. 1299 01:34:13,640 --> 01:34:15,270 You're a scam artist. 1300 01:34:15,380 --> 01:34:18,940 - You trick women into getting... - Into getting out of their own way... 1301 01:34:19,050 --> 01:34:22,480 so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance. 1302 01:34:22,620 --> 01:34:26,150 No, I want everybody to take a good look at this right now. 1303 01:34:26,290 --> 01:34:27,760 Because this right here... 1304 01:34:27,860 --> 01:34:31,850 this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard. 1305 01:34:33,330 --> 01:34:35,260 Sir, let's go. Now. 1306 01:34:38,300 --> 01:34:40,730 And Vance Munson is a pig! 1307 01:34:40,840 --> 01:34:43,170 And I refused to work with him. 1308 01:34:43,910 --> 01:34:45,640 You need to get your facts right. 1309 01:34:47,910 --> 01:34:51,000 It's because of jerks like him that I even have a job. 1310 01:34:54,050 --> 01:34:55,380 Had a job. 1311 01:35:08,230 --> 01:35:09,660 Can you believe that guy? 1312 01:35:10,930 --> 01:35:13,560 Actually, I do. 1313 01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:36,190 You... 1314 01:35:37,860 --> 01:35:39,660 complete me. 1315 01:35:41,200 --> 01:35:43,600 - I might just have... - Shut up. 1316 01:35:44,300 --> 01:35:45,770 Just shut up. 1317 01:35:46,740 --> 01:35:48,730 You had me at "hello." 1318 01:36:16,900 --> 01:36:18,260 No comment. 1319 01:36:22,810 --> 01:36:26,760 This is off the record. 1320 01:36:32,080 --> 01:36:33,880 I came to apologize. 1321 01:36:34,120 --> 01:36:36,610 I made some assumptions about you... 1322 01:36:36,750 --> 01:36:39,620 based on nothing, it turns out. 1323 01:36:42,460 --> 01:36:46,290 - I guess Casey's right. My best friend... - Don't worry about it. We're straight. 1324 01:36:47,600 --> 01:36:51,620 I should 've asked you. But sometimes you're so guarded. 1325 01:36:51,770 --> 01:36:55,170 I just don't wanna be another reason for you to... 1326 01:36:56,210 --> 01:37:00,340 I'm not someone who likes to get involved past a certain point. 1327 01:37:00,510 --> 01:37:04,310 And that point was about a week ago. 1328 01:37:10,390 --> 01:37:14,980 Well, I just want to say I' m really sorry... 1329 01:37:16,560 --> 01:37:18,120 and I didn't mean to hurt you. 1330 01:37:20,700 --> 01:37:22,100 You didn't. 1331 01:37:26,240 --> 01:37:27,460 That's a relief. 1332 01:37:56,530 --> 01:37:59,470 - Hey, fella. - Yeah, good. You? 1333 01:38:02,140 --> 01:38:03,330 What you got there? 1334 01:38:03,470 --> 01:38:08,140 This? I figured maybe if my heart stops beating, it wouldn't hurt so much. 1335 01:38:09,680 --> 01:38:10,980 She hasn't called back? 1336 01:38:15,420 --> 01:38:16,750 You want some coffee? 1337 01:38:22,190 --> 01:38:23,390 I want you to fix it. 1338 01:38:28,030 --> 01:38:29,290 I got nothing, Albert. 1339 01:38:31,370 --> 01:38:33,800 You wanna do something? We should get out tonight. 1340 01:38:33,900 --> 01:38:36,960 Honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. 1341 01:38:37,070 --> 01:38:39,670 I swear I' m going out of my mind. 1342 01:38:41,210 --> 01:38:43,640 I wanna throw myself off of every building in New York. 1343 01:38:43,750 --> 01:38:48,240 I see a cab and I wanna dive in front of it, because then I' II stop thinking about her. 1344 01:38:48,350 --> 01:38:51,080 Look, you will. Just give it time. 1345 01:38:51,190 --> 01:38:53,550 That's just it. I don't want to. 1346 01:38:54,020 --> 01:38:57,120 I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. 1347 01:38:57,290 --> 01:38:59,990 If this is the only way I can stay connected with her... 1348 01:39:00,100 --> 01:39:01,650 then this is who I have to be. 1349 01:39:01,800 --> 01:39:05,890 No, you don't. You can change, you can adapt. 1350 01:39:06,540 --> 01:39:09,230 You can make it so you don't ever have to feel like this. 1351 01:39:09,340 --> 01:39:10,330 Ever again. 1352 01:39:20,820 --> 01:39:22,980 Oh, my God. You just don't get it, do you? 1353 01:39:23,990 --> 01:39:25,280 I get it. 1354 01:39:26,790 --> 01:39:28,190 Let me get this straight. 1355 01:39:28,360 --> 01:39:31,620 You're selling this stuff, but you don't believe in your own product. 1356 01:39:31,930 --> 01:39:34,730 - Love is my life. - No. Love is your job. 1357 01:39:48,540 --> 01:39:51,070 You wanna jump out a plane without a chute, be my guest. 1358 01:39:51,180 --> 01:39:53,240 But forgive me if I don't join you. 1359 01:39:54,480 --> 01:39:56,680 This isn't about love for you at all, is it? 1360 01:40:00,290 --> 01:40:02,450 This whole time, I thought I was the coward. 1361 01:40:07,530 --> 01:40:09,620 - Where you going? - Skydiving. 1362 01:40:40,730 --> 01:40:41,920 Taxi! 1363 01:41:15,660 --> 01:41:17,000 Mr. Hitchens. 1364 01:41:18,030 --> 01:41:20,330 Miss Cole, thank you very much for seeing me. 1365 01:41:20,440 --> 01:41:22,560 You said it was a matter of life and death. 1366 01:41:24,070 --> 01:41:27,300 That man would 've sold his soul to make you happy. 1367 01:41:27,680 --> 01:41:30,370 So what does that make you, the devil. 1368 01:41:32,810 --> 01:41:37,620 My job is not to deceive, Miss Cole. It's to create opportunities. 1369 01:41:39,020 --> 01:41:40,150 Like the boardroom. 1370 01:41:40,920 --> 01:41:42,980 - Would you have noticed him otherwise? - Yes. 1371 01:41:43,090 --> 01:41:45,320 - Really? - Eventually. 1372 01:41:49,900 --> 01:41:50,960 Maybe. 1373 01:41:54,740 --> 01:41:56,860 How did you know all that stuff about me? 1374 01:41:59,540 --> 01:42:01,340 Well, you really did your homework. 1375 01:42:03,310 --> 01:42:07,180 Like at boarding school when everyone used to tease me because I couldn't whistle. 1376 01:42:07,620 --> 01:42:11,050 And having him dance like a buffoon knowing that I can't dance, either. 1377 01:42:11,750 --> 01:42:15,710 Then telling him to drop mustard on his shirt, so I' d feel less like a dork. 1378 01:42:19,360 --> 01:42:21,420 That was all you, right? 1379 01:42:22,060 --> 01:42:24,430 No. Hell, no. 1380 01:42:24,730 --> 01:42:25,830 That was him? 1381 01:42:26,270 --> 01:42:28,430 That's got Albert written all over it. 1382 01:42:30,310 --> 01:42:32,070 Did you put him up to the inaler? 1383 01:42:32,540 --> 01:42:34,740 Stop it. He did not show you that. 1384 01:42:36,140 --> 01:42:38,170 He chucked it right before he kissed me. 1385 01:42:38,810 --> 01:42:40,110 So, wait... 1386 01:42:40,920 --> 01:42:42,980 that stuff worked for you? 1387 01:42:45,120 --> 01:42:46,490 It was adorable. 1388 01:42:54,300 --> 01:42:55,630 What did you do? 1389 01:42:58,000 --> 01:42:59,230 Nothing. 1390 01:43:04,540 --> 01:43:06,300 Absolutely nothing. 1391 01:43:08,510 --> 01:43:09,740 That's good. 1392 01:43:11,710 --> 01:43:14,270 - This was your plan the whole time? - Albert. 1393 01:43:14,380 --> 01:43:16,510 You sail off into the sunset with my girl. 1394 01:43:21,390 --> 01:43:25,380 You were like a brother to me! 1395 01:43:26,290 --> 01:43:29,020 - He came here for you. - Who? 1396 01:43:29,130 --> 01:43:30,460 The guy you're choking. 1397 01:43:42,110 --> 01:43:44,240 - I love you. - I love you. 1398 01:43:44,350 --> 01:43:46,140 I really love you. 1399 01:43:49,750 --> 01:43:52,740 - I love you more. - I love you more. I really do. 1400 01:43:55,490 --> 01:43:56,920 I got somewhere I gotta go. 1401 01:44:28,360 --> 01:44:30,650 - Yeah, who is it? - Hitch. 1402 01:44:32,190 --> 01:44:33,250 Can I talk to you? 1403 01:44:41,770 --> 01:44:42,740 What? 1404 01:44:45,210 --> 01:44:46,370 You almost hit me. 1405 01:44:50,880 --> 01:44:55,210 Look, I just wanted to stop by, basically. 1406 01:44:56,850 --> 01:44:58,150 See, this is the thing. 1407 01:45:04,530 --> 01:45:07,550 This is weird. I don't have me behind the door, you know. 1408 01:45:08,700 --> 01:45:09,760 Close your mouth. 1409 01:45:13,100 --> 01:45:16,330 Because I knew at some point I' d be... 1410 01:45:18,040 --> 01:45:21,700 right here. But I thought that... 1411 01:45:26,650 --> 01:45:29,640 everything would come out, but it's like... 1412 01:45:31,250 --> 01:45:32,550 That's throwing me off. 1413 01:45:38,130 --> 01:45:40,490 - Can we close the door? - What? 1414 01:45:40,600 --> 01:45:44,050 I'm sorry. Just, can we... I just need... 1415 01:45:44,200 --> 01:45:47,130 - Are you serious? - No, just like this. 1416 01:45:51,240 --> 01:45:52,900 What do you want, Hitch? 1417 01:45:55,010 --> 01:45:56,030 You. 1418 01:45:59,150 --> 01:46:02,980 For a whole lot of reasons that don't make any sense to me. 1419 01:46:04,250 --> 01:46:07,550 I mean, what, we've been on three dates? 1420 01:46:08,390 --> 01:46:10,420 See, that's what's crazy. 1421 01:46:10,590 --> 01:46:13,290 That's what's crazy, because I know. 1422 01:46:13,660 --> 01:46:14,990 I know deep... 1423 01:46:15,100 --> 01:46:19,970 like just down, just in this area... 1424 01:46:20,770 --> 01:46:22,740 that I just know... 1425 01:46:24,340 --> 01:46:25,860 that I want... 1426 01:46:26,640 --> 01:46:30,740 I want to be miserable. 1427 01:46:30,850 --> 01:46:33,640 Like, really miserable. 1428 01:46:34,180 --> 01:46:35,340 Because, hey... 1429 01:46:35,450 --> 01:46:40,010 if that's what it takes for me to be happy then... 1430 01:46:42,260 --> 01:46:44,090 Wait, that didn't come out right. 1431 01:46:44,190 --> 01:46:46,520 What the hell is wrong with you? 1432 01:46:46,630 --> 01:46:49,500 - Nothing! - No, not you. 1433 01:46:51,130 --> 01:46:53,070 I'm talking to me. 1434 01:47:14,190 --> 01:47:16,180 Alex Hitchens, Tom Reda. 1435 01:47:20,730 --> 01:47:22,290 I'll just put this in the car. 1436 01:47:36,480 --> 01:47:38,170 Maybe it's like what you said. 1437 01:47:38,410 --> 01:47:42,510 We should just both go our separate ways and then we'll do just fine. 1438 01:47:54,230 --> 01:47:55,890 What if fine isn't good enough? 1439 01:48:01,270 --> 01:48:02,860 What if I want extraordinary? 1440 01:48:04,210 --> 01:48:05,370 No such thing. 1441 01:48:17,890 --> 01:48:19,980 I'm just as scared as you are, Sara. 1442 01:48:20,760 --> 01:48:23,820 But I' m right here, and our time is right now. 1443 01:48:24,290 --> 01:48:25,780 Well, what about before? 1444 01:48:25,890 --> 01:48:29,190 I am a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time? 1445 01:48:29,300 --> 01:48:31,770 I'm a realist, and I know what love does to people. 1446 01:48:32,270 --> 01:48:33,890 - No, you don't. - Keys. 1447 01:48:36,070 --> 01:48:38,540 There you go. Right here. 1448 01:48:41,710 --> 01:48:44,470 I don't know who this is, and I don't care. 1449 01:48:45,210 --> 01:48:49,550 What I do know is he'll never feel about you the way that I do. 1450 01:48:52,120 --> 01:48:54,780 - You know how to drive a stick? - Both of you, shut up! 1451 01:49:01,760 --> 01:49:04,250 - You okay? - Yeah. No, I' m fine. 1452 01:49:05,270 --> 01:49:07,360 You'll never be fine, and neither will I. 1453 01:49:10,840 --> 01:49:12,140 Maybe I should drive. 1454 01:49:13,240 --> 01:49:15,400 Are you trying to get yourself killed? 1455 01:49:15,580 --> 01:49:17,010 If that's what it takes. 1456 01:49:17,110 --> 01:49:18,510 Sara, what happened? 1457 01:49:18,610 --> 01:49:21,100 - He jumped on the car. - Why? 1458 01:49:21,880 --> 01:49:23,510 Because that's what people do. 1459 01:49:24,450 --> 01:49:27,820 They leap and hope to God they can fly. 1460 01:49:33,660 --> 01:49:34,890 Because otherwise... 1461 01:49:36,000 --> 01:49:38,520 we just drop like a rock... 1462 01:49:39,200 --> 01:49:41,030 wondering the whole way down: 1463 01:49:42,000 --> 01:49:45,500 "Why in the hell did I jump?" 1464 01:49:47,280 --> 01:49:50,940 But here I am, Sara, falling. 1465 01:49:51,910 --> 01:49:56,040 And there's only one person that makes me feel like I can fly. 1466 01:49:58,450 --> 01:49:59,610 That's you. 1467 01:50:04,960 --> 01:50:07,590 So, you kind of like me? 1468 01:50:08,660 --> 01:50:09,760 No. 1469 01:50:10,930 --> 01:50:12,090 I love you. 1470 01:50:13,470 --> 01:50:15,800 I love you, and I knew it from the first... 1471 01:50:26,450 --> 01:50:29,140 If I say it back now, it'll sound so stupid. 1472 01:50:32,320 --> 01:50:36,520 This is the guy I was telling you about. Hitch, that's my sister, Maria. 1473 01:50:36,620 --> 01:50:38,420 And that's her husband, Tom. 1474 01:50:42,960 --> 01:50:44,230 Her husband. 1475 01:51:26,010 --> 01:51:27,470 Where's your date? 1476 01:51:28,040 --> 01:51:29,570 Don't have one. 1477 01:51:35,450 --> 01:51:37,180 I know. Shocking, huh? 1478 01:51:40,690 --> 01:51:43,420 Oh, my God! 1479 01:51:50,430 --> 01:51:51,660 Are you all right? 1480 01:51:53,300 --> 01:51:54,790 Grandma, what happened? 1481 01:51:55,300 --> 01:51:58,600 This young lady just saved my life. 1482 01:52:03,340 --> 01:52:05,440 Ask her to dance. 1483 01:52:06,710 --> 01:52:08,910 Well, if you insist. 1484 01:52:10,050 --> 01:52:13,040 - I' m Casey. - Charles Wellington. 1485 01:52:14,320 --> 01:52:17,450 - And this... - Forget it. Just go. 1486 01:52:31,070 --> 01:52:32,770 Basic principles: 1487 01:52:34,180 --> 01:52:35,340 There are none.