1
00:00:46,923 --> 00:00:49,300
<i>It started with a chair.</i>

2
00:01:14,451 --> 00:01:17,454
I've wanted this for a really long time.

3
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,831
I know.

4
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:22,792
Wizard.

5
00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:32,635
Jeez, Banana.
Shut your frigging gob, okay?

6
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:39,851
<i>This is the most magnificent discarded
living-room set I've ever seen.</i>

7
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:13,129
Well, well.
If it isn't MacGuff the Crime Dog.

8
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,797
Back for another test?

9
00:04:16,633 --> 00:04:19,886
The first was defective. The plus sign
looks like a division symbol.

10
00:04:20,053 --> 00:04:22,472
So I remain unconvinced.

11
00:04:23,348 --> 00:04:27,936
Third test today, Mama Bear.
Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it.

12
00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:30,855
It's really easy to tell.
Is your nipples real brown?

13
00:04:31,064 --> 00:04:35,151
Yeah. Maybe your little boyfriend's got
mutant sperms. Knocked you up twice.

14
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,819
<i>Silencio</i>, old man.

15
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:40,490
Look, I just drank my weight in SunnyD
and I gotta go pronto.

16
00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:44,160
Well, you know where the lavatory is.

17
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,538
Pay for that pee stick
when you're done.

18
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:50,708
Don't think it's yours because
you marked it with your urine.

19
00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:23,574
What's the prognosis, Fertile Myrtle?
Minus or plus?

20
00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:26,244
I don't know. It's not seasoned yet.

21
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,788
I'll take some of these.

22
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,794
No. There it is.

23
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:38,715
That little pink plus sign
is so unholy.

24
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,759
That ain't no Etch A Sketch.

25
00:05:42,093 --> 00:05:45,096
This is one doodle that can't be undid,
home skillet.

26
00:07:08,805 --> 00:07:11,474
- I'm a suicide risk.
- Juno?

27
00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:14,811
No, it's Morgan Freeman.
Do you have bones that need collecting?

28
00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:16,521
Only the one in my pants.

29
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,024
I'm pregnant.

30
00:07:20,191 --> 00:07:22,193
What? Honest to blog?

31
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,153
Yeah. Yeah, it's Bleeker's.

32
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,698
It's probably just a food baby.
Did you have a big lunch?

33
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,909
No, this is not
a food baby, all right?

34
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:34,163
I've taken like three pregnancy tests,
and I am for shiz up the spout.

35
00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:40,086
How did you generate enough pee for
three pregnancy tests? That's amazing.

36
00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:43,881
I don't know, I drank like 10 tons
of SunnyD. Anyway, dude, I...

37
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:47,885
I'm telling you I'm pregnant,
and you're acting shockingly cavalier.

38
00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:50,555
Is this for real?
Like for real, for real?

39
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,640
Unfortunately, yes.

40
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,520
Oh, my God. Oh, shit.

41
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,063
Phuket, Thailand.

42
00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:02,733
There we go. That was the emotion
I was searching for on the first take.

43
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,444
Are you gonna go to Havenbrooke
or Women Now?

44
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:08,197
You need a note from your parents
for Havenbrooke.

45
00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:09,407
Yeah, I know.

46
00:08:09,574 --> 00:08:13,244
No, I'm gonna go to Women Now
just because they help out women now.

47
00:08:13,411 --> 00:08:16,038
Want me to call for you?
I called for Becky last year.

48
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:20,168
No, I can call. But I do need your help
with something. It's critically important.

49
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:25,047
You know, heavy lifting can really
only help you at this point.

50
00:08:25,298 --> 00:08:27,091
Seriously.

51
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:29,760
You were bored?
That's how this miracle came to be?

52
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,804
No. No, no.
The act was premeditated.

53
00:08:31,971 --> 00:08:35,474
I mean the sex, not the whole,
like, "let's get pregnant" thing.

54
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:41,314
So when did you decide
that you were gonna do Bleeker?

55
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,900
Well, like...

56
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,737
<i>...a year ago, in Spanish class.</i>

57
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,281
You love him.

58
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:56,162
It's... No, it's actually...
It's really complicated, okay?

59
00:08:56,329 --> 00:09:00,333
And I don't feel like talking about it
in my fragile state.

60
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:04,795
So, what was it like
humping Bleek's bony bod?

61
00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,256
Magnificent.

62
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,170
Hey, Bleek.

63
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:51,842
Wicked tiger. He looks proud.

64
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,512
I swiped it from Ms. Rancik's lawn.

65
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,016
My, your shorts are, like,
especially gold today.

66
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:01,018
My mom uses color-safe bleach.

67
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,770
Go, Carol.

68
00:10:04,063 --> 00:10:05,356
I'll tell her.

69
00:10:09,277 --> 00:10:12,655
<i>When I see them running, with their
things bouncing in their shorts...</i>

70
00:10:12,822 --> 00:10:18,369
<i>...I always picture them naked, even if
I don't want to. All I see is pork swords.</i>

71
00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:20,663
I'm supposed to be running.

72
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:22,707
So guess what.

73
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,376
What? I don't know.

74
00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:28,546
I'm pregnant.

75
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,560
What should we do about...?

76
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:48,607
Well, you know, I was just...
I was thinking I'd just nip it in the bud.

77
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,359
Before it gets worse.

78
00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:53,696
Because they were talking about,
in health class, how pregnancy...

79
00:10:53,863 --> 00:10:56,407
...it can often lead to an infant.

80
00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:57,950
Typically, yeah. Yeah.

81
00:10:58,117 --> 00:11:01,871
That's what happens when
our moms and teachers get pregnant.

82
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,959
So you're cool with that, then?

83
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:10,713
Yeah, yeah. Wizard, I mean,
you know, just, I guess...

84
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,758
...do whatever you think
you should do, you know?

85
00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:21,223
Well, I'm sorry I had sex with you.

86
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,100
I know it wasn't, like, your idea.

87
00:11:24,352 --> 00:11:25,978
What? Whose idea was it?

88
00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:28,439
I'll see you at school, all right?

89
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:34,236
Whose idea was it?

90
00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:03,265
- Your book fell apart.
- Right.

91
00:12:03,808 --> 00:12:05,976
It must have looked at your face.

92
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:11,023
<i>The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo
secretly wants me.</i>

93
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,692
<i>Jocks like him
always want freaky girls.</i>

94
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:19,156
<i>Girls with horn-rimmed glasses
and vegan footwear and goth makeup.</i>

95
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:22,326
<i>Girls who, like, play the cello
and read</i> McSweeney's...

96
00:12:22,493 --> 00:12:25,204
<i>...and wanna be children's librarians
when they grow up.</i>

97
00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:27,832
<i>Oh, yeah,
jocks totally eat that shit up.</i>

98
00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:31,961
<i>They won't admit it because they're
supposed to be into cheerleaders.</i>

99
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:35,339
<i>Like Leah, who incidentally
is into teachers.</i>

100
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:38,801
Me too! I love Woody Allen!

101
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,638
All right, all right.

102
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:45,641
All right, people. We're doing
chromatography lab today.

103
00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:48,978
So find your partners
and break into groups of four.

104
00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:57,695
Well, there's nothing
like experimenting.

105
00:12:58,571 --> 00:13:01,991
I did the prep questions for this lab,
so you can copy my answers...

106
00:13:02,158 --> 00:13:03,868
Oh, I couldn't copy your work.

107
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,494
You copy my work every week.

108
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,705
True. I'm kind of a deadbeat
lab partner.

109
00:13:07,872 --> 00:13:10,374
I think you definitely
bring something to the table.

110
00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:12,334
Charisma.

111
00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:16,255
So who's ready for some
chromomagnificence?

112
00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:19,508
I have a menstrual migraine,
so I can't look at bright lights.

113
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:23,387
Amanda, I told you to go to the infirmary
and lie down. You never listen.

114
00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:27,224
No, Josh, because I don't take orders.
Not from you and not from any man.

115
00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:31,061
You've been acting like this since
I got back from my brother's in Mankato.

116
00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:32,688
I told you, nothing happened.

117
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:37,568
I'm gonna set up the apparatus. Juno,
do you wanna plug in the Bunsen burner?

118
00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,612
- My pleasure.
- I'm going to the infirmary.

119
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:41,405
- Call when you get off the rag.
- Fine!

120
00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:45,075
Call when you learn to love
instead of cheat at your brother's...

121
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:48,746
...because you had four Smirnoff Ices
and Snow Peak Peach Boone's.

122
00:13:48,913 --> 00:13:52,583
Good, Amanda. I'll be sure to do that.
I'll make a note of it.

123
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,754
I've actually heard that
the Snow Peak Peach flavor...

124
00:13:56,921 --> 00:13:59,089
...is the best flavor of Boone's.

125
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:03,511
Isn't that right, Bleek?

126
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:29,245
Hey, yeah, I'm just calling
to procure a hasty abortion.

127
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:30,829
What?

128
00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:35,834
Can you just hold on for a second?
I'm on my hamburger phone.

129
00:14:39,547 --> 00:14:41,298
Okay, yeah, now I can...

130
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:44,802
Yeah, it's just, like,
really awkward to talk on.

131
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:48,973
Yeah, yeah, I need an abortion.

132
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,308
I'm 16.

133
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:56,814
I'm gonna say it's been about
two months and four days since the sex.

134
00:14:56,981 --> 00:15:00,359
Mind you, that's just, like,
a guesstimation.

135
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,488
I'm sorry,
how long have I been what?

136
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:07,533
<i>I hate it when adults
use the term "sexually active."</i>

137
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:08,993
<i>What does it even mean?</i>

138
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:13,038
<i>Can I deactivate someday, or is this
some sort of permanent state of being?</i>

139
00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:17,668
<i>I guess Bleeker went live that night and
that's why he got that look on his face.</i>

140
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,671
You should have seen this
octopus furnace at work.

141
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:24,341
I had to get on my HAZMAT suit
just to get into the thing.

142
00:15:24,508 --> 00:15:28,304
<i>My dad used to be in the Army, but now
he's just your average HVAC specialist.</i>

143
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,681
<i>He and my mom got divorced
when I was like 5...</i>

144
00:15:30,848 --> 00:15:35,477
<i>...and she lives on a Havasu reservation
with her husband and replacement kids.</i>

145
00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:38,689
<i>And she inexplicably mails me
a cactus every Valentine's Day.</i>

146
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,983
<i>And I'm like,
"Thanks a heap, Coyote Ugly.</i>

147
00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:44,194
<i>This cactus-gram stings even worse
than your abandonment."</i>

148
00:15:45,404 --> 00:15:49,366
<i>That's my stepmom, Bren.
She's completely obsessed with dogs...</i>

149
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:53,662
<i>...owns a nail salon, and always
smells like methyl methacrylate.</i>

150
00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:56,332
So, Juno, how was your
little maneuver last night?

151
00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:59,084
The one where I moved
an entire living-room set...

152
00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:00,878
...from one lawn to the other...

153
00:16:01,045 --> 00:16:04,882
...or the one where I downed
a 64-ounce blue slushie in 10 minutes?

154
00:16:05,049 --> 00:16:08,010
Juno, did you by any chance
barf in my urn?

155
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:15,059
You know that nice urn by the door?
The one I got up in Stillwater?

156
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:19,438
There was some blue shit... I mean
gunk... Stuff in there this morning.

157
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,442
I would never barf
in your urn, Brenda.

158
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,779
I mean, maybe L.B. did it.

159
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:32,785
Liberty Bell, put one more Bac-O on that
potato, I'm gonna kick your monkey butt.

160
00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:40,751
All babies want to get borned!
All babies want to get borned!

161
00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:42,753
All babies want to get borned!

162
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,299
Hey, Su-Chin.

163
00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,677
Oh, hi, Juno. How are you?

164
00:16:50,094 --> 00:16:52,596
You know, pretty solid.

165
00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:57,393
So did you write that paper
for Worth's class yet?

166
00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,269
No, not yet.

167
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,981
I tried to work on it last night,
but I'm having trouble concentrating.

168
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,484
Oh, well, I'll sell you
some of my Adderall.

169
00:17:05,693 --> 00:17:07,319
No, thanks. I'm off pills.

170
00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:11,323
That's a wise choice, because I knew
this girl, she had this crazy freak-out...

171
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,784
...because she took
too many meds at once...

172
00:17:13,951 --> 00:17:18,455
...and she just ripped off her clothes,
dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall...

173
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:23,711
...and was like,
"I am a kraken from the sea!"

174
00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:26,296
I heard that was you.

175
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,843
Well, it's good seeing you, Su-Chin.

176
00:17:33,137 --> 00:17:36,098
Your baby probably
has a beating heart, you know.

177
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:38,642
It can feel pain.

178
00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:41,145
And it has fingernails!

179
00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:44,815
Fingernails? Really?

180
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:03,959
Welcome to Women Now,
where women are trusted friends.

181
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:07,337
Please put your hands where I can
see them and surrender any bombs.

182
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,674
Hey, I'm here for the big show.

183
00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:13,051
Your name, please?

184
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,345
Juno MacGuff.

185
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:19,850
<i>She thinks I'm using a fake name,
like Gene Simmons or Mother Teresa.</i>

186
00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:25,022
I need you to fill these out,
and don't skip the hairy details.

187
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:28,525
We need to know about every score
and every sore.

188
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:33,530
Would you like a free condom?
They're boysenberry.

189
00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:36,700
No, I'm off sex right now.

190
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:40,537
My boyfriend uses them every time
we have intercourse.

191
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:43,040
They make his junk smell like pie.

192
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:21,829
All babies want to get borned!
All babies want to...

193
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:25,332
God appreciates your miracle!

194
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:29,711
Dude, what are you doing here?
I'm supposed to come get you at 4.

195
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:33,549
I couldn't do it, Leah.
It smelled like a dentist's office in there.

196
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:36,385
And there were horrible magazines
with water stains.

197
00:19:36,552 --> 00:19:41,473
The receptionist tried to get me to take
condoms that look like grape suckers...

198
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,435
...and just babbling away about
her frigging boyfriend's pie balls.

199
00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:51,108
And Su-Chin was there. And she was
like, "Oh, hi. Babies have fingernails."

200
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:52,484
Fingernails.

201
00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:57,114
That's gruesome. Do you think the baby
can scratch your vag on the way out...?

202
00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,907
I'm staying pregnant, Leah.

203
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,577
Dude. You gotta keep
your voice down, okay?

204
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,788
My mom is inside. She doesn't know
that we're sexually active.

205
00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:07,624
What does that even mean?
I've been thinking.

206
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:12,462
I was thinking I could have this baby and
give it to someone that totally needs it.

207
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,632
Like a woman with a bum ovary,
or a couple nice lesbos.

208
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:19,094
But then you're gonna get huge,
and your chest is gonna milktate...

209
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:22,639
...and you're gonna have to, like,
tell people that you're pregnant.

210
00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:25,100
Maybe they'll canonize me
for being so selfless.

211
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:28,353
Or maybe they'll, like, totally shit
and be really, really mad...

212
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,148
...and not let you graduate
or go to Cabo for spring break.

213
00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:34,276
I was gonna go to Gettysburg
with Bleeker anyway.

214
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,282
You should look at adoption ads. I see
them all the time in the <i>PennySaver.</i>

215
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,951
They have ads for parents?

216
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,787
Yeah.
"Desperately Seeking Spawn."

217
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:49,875
Right next to, like, terriers and iguanas
and used fitness equipment and stuff.

218
00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:51,919
It's, like, totally legit.

219
00:20:55,505 --> 00:21:00,844
"Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple
have found true love with each other."

220
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:02,721
All that's missing is your bastard.

221
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:06,308
- I want a parakeet.
- You're totally not even listening to me.

222
00:21:06,475 --> 00:21:09,311
No, I heard you. I don't wanna
give the baby to a family...

223
00:21:09,478 --> 00:21:11,480
...that describes themselves
as wholesome.

224
00:21:11,647 --> 00:21:14,232
- Why?
- I just want something a little edgier.

225
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,360
What did you have in mind exactly?

226
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:20,155
I was thinking more like
graphic designer, mid-thirties...

227
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:24,242
...with a cool Asian girlfriend who dresses
awesome and rocks out on the bass.

228
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,495
But I don't wanna be too particular.

229
00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:31,708
Okay. How about this? "Educated,
successful couple seeking infant...

230
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:36,088
...to join our family of five.
You will be compensated.

231
00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:39,841
Help us complete the circle of love."
That sounds great.

232
00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:42,052
They sound like a frigging cult.

233
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:45,472
They already have three kids.
They're just greedy little bitches.

234
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:48,558
Juno, how about this one?

235
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:53,897
<i>They were
Mark and Vanessa Loring...</i>

236
00:21:54,064 --> 00:21:57,526
<i>...and they were beautiful
even in black and white.</i>

237
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:10,414
- Hey, Paul. Are you coming to eat?
- No, I don't think so.

238
00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:12,416
You ran eight miles today, Puppy.

239
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,252
I'm not hungry, oddly.

240
00:22:15,419 --> 00:22:17,921
But it's breakfast for supper.
It's your favorite.

241
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:19,715
Yeah.

242
00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:23,593
Juno MacGuff called
while you were out running today.

243
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:25,929
You know how I feel about her.

244
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:29,516
Yeah, yeah.
You mentioned it a couple times.

245
00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:33,437
She's just different.

246
00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:36,231
I know.

247
00:23:02,049 --> 00:23:04,676
So I'm not really sure
how I'm gonna spit this out.

248
00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:06,136
Hon, did you get expelled?

249
00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:10,182
No, the school would most likely contact
you in the event of my expulsion.

250
00:23:10,348 --> 00:23:13,143
Well, I was just asking.
It seemed plausible.

251
00:23:13,310 --> 00:23:16,104
What, do you need a large amount
of money? Legal counsel?

252
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:20,484
I'm not asking for anything.
Except for maybe mercy.

253
00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:22,986
Like it would be frigging sweet
if no one hit me.

254
00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:25,655
What have you done?
Hit someone with the Previa?

255
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:30,077
- No.
- Dude, I think it's best to just tell them.

256
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,168
I'm pregnant.

257
00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:40,003
Oh, God.

258
00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:43,840
I'm gonna give it up for adoption.
I already found the perfect couple.

259
00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:47,511
They're gonna pay for
the medical expenses and everything.

260
00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:52,682
In thirty-odd weeks, we can just
pretend that this never happened.

261
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,684
You're pregnant?

262
00:23:54,851 --> 00:23:56,812
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

263
00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:58,688
And if it is any consolation...

264
00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:01,650
...I have heartburn
that is radiating to my kneecaps...

265
00:24:01,817 --> 00:24:06,488
...and I haven't taken a dump
since Wednesday.

266
00:24:06,655 --> 00:24:07,906
Morning.

267
00:24:08,115 --> 00:24:10,867
I didn't even know
you were sexually active.

268
00:24:11,034 --> 00:24:12,911
- Who is the kid?
- The baby?

269
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:16,873
I don't really know much about it
other than it has fingernails.

270
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,416
- Allegedly.
- Nails? Really?

271
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:22,129
- Yeah.
- No, I mean who is the father, Juno?

272
00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:27,634
It's Paulie Bleeker.

273
00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:29,219
Paulie Bleeker?

274
00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:32,264
What?

275
00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:35,851
- I didn't think he had it in him.
- I know, right?

276
00:24:36,393 --> 00:24:37,894
This is no laughing matter.

277
00:24:38,061 --> 00:24:42,149
No, it's not. And, you know,
Paulie is actually great in...

278
00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:44,276
- Okay.
- In chair.

279
00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:47,279
You're thinking about adoption?

280
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:51,449
Yeah, yeah. And there's this couple,
they haven't had...

281
00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:53,952
They've been trying to have a kid
for five years.

282
00:24:54,161 --> 00:24:56,705
We found them in the <i>PennySaver</i>
next to exotic birds.

283
00:24:57,164 --> 00:25:01,751
They have a legitimate lawyer, and I was
gonna go meet with them next weekend.

284
00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:04,588
Junebug, that is a tough,
tough thing to do.

285
00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:07,757
It's probably tougher
than you can understand right now.

286
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:10,760
No, I know.

287
00:25:11,094 --> 00:25:14,598
And it's just that I'm not ready
to be a mom.

288
00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:18,935
Damn skippy. You don't even remember
to give Liberty Bell her breathing meds.

289
00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:22,397
That was once.
And she did not die, if you recall.

290
00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:27,485
Honey, had you considered,
you know, the alternative?

291
00:25:27,903 --> 00:25:28,945
No.

292
00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:31,781
Well, you're a little Viking.

293
00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:37,954
First things first. We have to get you
healthy. You need prenatal vitamins.

294
00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:41,791
Incidentally, they do incredible things
for your nails, so that's a plus.

295
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:45,503
We'll schedule a doctor's appointment,
figure out where you'll deliver.

296
00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:49,674
Juno, I'm coming with you
to meet this adoption couple.

297
00:25:49,841 --> 00:25:53,637
You're a kid. I don't want you to get
ripped off by baby-starved wing nuts.

298
00:25:54,221 --> 00:25:55,305
Thanks, Dad.

299
00:25:56,097 --> 00:25:59,809
Boy, I thought you were the kind of girl
who knew when to say when.

300
00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:07,859
I don't really know
what kind of girl I am.

301
00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:23,708
Just tell it to me straight.
You think this is my fault?

302
00:26:23,875 --> 00:26:26,503
I think kids get bored
and they have intercourse.

303
00:26:26,670 --> 00:26:28,880
And I think Junebug
was a dummy about it, Mac.

304
00:26:29,339 --> 00:26:31,174
I am not ready to be a pop-pop.

305
00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:32,842
You're not gonna be a pop-pop.

306
00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:36,221
Somebody else is gonna find
a precious blessing from Jesus...

307
00:26:36,388 --> 00:26:38,556
...in this garbage dump
of a situation.

308
00:26:39,391 --> 00:26:41,851
Did you see that coming
when she sat us down here?

309
00:26:42,018 --> 00:26:44,562
Yeah. But I was hoping
she was expelled or into drugs.

310
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:49,776
That was my first instinct too.
Or a DWI. Anything but this.

311
00:26:50,694 --> 00:26:53,196
And I'm gonna punch
that Bleeker kid in the wiener.

312
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:57,200
Mac, come on.
You know it wasn't his idea.

313
00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:00,787
Yeah.

314
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:07,312
Hi. I'm Vanessa.
You must be Juno and Mr. MacGuff.

315
00:28:07,479 --> 00:28:09,939
Hi. Vanessa Loring.

316
00:28:10,106 --> 00:28:11,649
It's Vanessa, right? Is that...?

317
00:28:11,858 --> 00:28:15,278
Thanks for having me and my
irresponsible child over to your house.

318
00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:19,115
Oh, no, thank you. Thank you.
Come on in.

319
00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:21,785
- Can I take your coat or your hat?
- Sure.

320
00:28:21,951 --> 00:28:23,578
Oh, yeah. Sure, thanks.

321
00:28:23,745 --> 00:28:26,998
Wicked pic in the <i>PennySaver,</i>
by the way. Super-classy.

322
00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:31,586
Not like those people with fake woods
in the background. Who are they fooling?

323
00:28:32,128 --> 00:28:35,965
- You found us in the <i>PennySaver?</i>
- Hi. Mark Loring. I'm the husband.

324
00:28:36,132 --> 00:28:39,511
- How do you do? Mac MacGuff.
- Nice to meet you. Hi.

325
00:28:39,677 --> 00:28:42,639
This is Gerta Rauss, our attorney.

326
00:28:42,806 --> 00:28:45,308
Gerta Rauss.

327
00:28:45,475 --> 00:28:47,894
Hi. Nice to meet you.

328
00:28:48,186 --> 00:28:49,979
And this, of course, is Juno.

329
00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:53,650
- Like the city in Alaska.
- No.

330
00:28:54,109 --> 00:28:57,821
No? Okay. Hon, should we sit down
and get to know one another?

331
00:28:57,987 --> 00:29:00,156
I thought I'd get drinks.
What would you like?

332
00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:03,993
I have Pellegrino or VitaminWater
or orange juice with...

333
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,038
I'll have a Maker's Mark, please. Up.

334
00:29:08,331 --> 00:29:09,499
She's kidding.

335
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:11,668
Junebug has a wonderful
sense of humor.

336
00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:13,920
Just one of her many genetic gifts.

337
00:29:14,295 --> 00:29:16,214
I'll sit down.

338
00:29:17,674 --> 00:29:21,344
So, Juno, first off,
how far along are you?

339
00:29:21,511 --> 00:29:23,346
I'm a junior.

340
00:29:24,222 --> 00:29:25,849
No, I mean in your pregnancy.

341
00:29:26,015 --> 00:29:27,350
Oh, right.

342
00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:32,313
My stepmom took me yesterday to the
doctor, and they said I was 12 weeks.

343
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,859
That's great. That's marvelous.
So you're into your second trimester?

344
00:29:37,318 --> 00:29:41,239
Yeah. Apparently.
I'm due on May 4th.

345
00:29:41,448 --> 00:29:45,702
Great. My girlfriends tell me that
the first couple months are the hardest.

346
00:29:45,869 --> 00:29:49,247
I didn't notice it at all, actually.
I'm more concerned about...

347
00:29:49,456 --> 00:29:54,085
...when they have to put that, like,
elastic band in the front of my jeans.

348
00:29:54,502 --> 00:29:56,546
I think pregnancy is beautiful.

349
00:29:56,713 --> 00:29:59,007
Well, you're lucky it's not you.

350
00:30:01,718 --> 00:30:04,721
Let's talk about how
we're gonna do this thing.

351
00:30:04,888 --> 00:30:07,515
What do you mean?
Don't I just have the thing...

352
00:30:07,682 --> 00:30:10,059
...squeeze it on out
and hand it over?

353
00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:13,396
Mark and Vanessa are willing
to negotiate an open adoption.

354
00:30:13,563 --> 00:30:15,231
Wait, what does that mean?

355
00:30:15,398 --> 00:30:18,026
It means they'd send
annual updates, photos...

356
00:30:18,193 --> 00:30:21,070
...let Juno know how the baby is doing
as he or she grows up.

357
00:30:21,237 --> 00:30:26,075
Whoa, no, no, no. I don't want photos
or any kind of notification.

358
00:30:26,242 --> 00:30:29,579
You know? I mean, can't we just,
like, kick this old-school?

359
00:30:29,746 --> 00:30:34,542
I stick the baby in a basket, send it
your way, like Moses in the reeds?

360
00:30:34,709 --> 00:30:38,046
Technically, that would be
kicking it Old Testament.

361
00:30:38,213 --> 00:30:40,632
Exactly. Right?
Do you know what I mean?

362
00:30:40,798 --> 00:30:43,551
Like in the good old days,
when it was quick and dirty.

363
00:30:44,928 --> 00:30:47,263
Well, then we all agree.

364
00:30:47,430 --> 00:30:50,725
A traditional closed adoption
would be best for all involved.

365
00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:53,895
Shit, yes. Just close her on up.

366
00:30:54,062 --> 00:30:56,898
We would compensate you
for all your medical expenses.

367
00:30:57,607 --> 00:31:00,109
Are you looking for any
other type of compensation?

368
00:31:01,569 --> 00:31:02,820
Excuse me?

369
00:31:06,074 --> 00:31:09,786
What? No. No, I don't want to,
you know, sell the thing.

370
00:31:09,953 --> 00:31:12,830
I just... I want...

371
00:31:14,249 --> 00:31:18,628
I just want the baby to be with people
who are gonna love it...

372
00:31:18,795 --> 00:31:21,172
...and be good parents, you know?

373
00:31:22,799 --> 00:31:25,635
I mean, I'm in high school.

374
00:31:25,802 --> 00:31:28,263
Dude, I'm just... I'm ill-equipped.

375
00:31:29,639 --> 00:31:33,309
Well, you're doing a beautiful
and a selfless thing for us.

376
00:31:33,476 --> 00:31:35,645
Vanessa's wanted a baby
since we got married.

377
00:31:35,812 --> 00:31:37,814
I wanna be a mommy so badly.

378
00:31:38,690 --> 00:31:39,983
You don't say.

379
00:31:40,149 --> 00:31:42,986
Have you ever felt like you were
just born to do something?

380
00:31:43,152 --> 00:31:45,655
Yes. Heating and air conditioning.

381
00:31:46,197 --> 00:31:50,994
There you go. I was born to be a mother.
Some of us are.

382
00:31:51,494 --> 00:31:56,082
How about you, Mark?
Are you looking forward to being a dad?

383
00:31:56,499 --> 00:31:59,961
Betcha, yeah.
Every guy wants to be a father...

384
00:32:00,128 --> 00:32:02,046
...he wants to coach
the soccer team...

385
00:32:02,213 --> 00:32:07,218
...and help out with the science-fair
thing, the volcano goes off...

386
00:32:07,385 --> 00:32:09,304
Yeah. All that.

387
00:32:09,804 --> 00:32:13,474
Maybe Gerta could take us through the
preliminary documents you've drawn up?

388
00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:16,978
Sweet, yeah.
Could I use the facilities first?

389
00:32:17,145 --> 00:32:20,857
Because being pregnant
makes me pee like Seabiscuit.

390
00:32:21,190 --> 00:32:23,484
Sure. The downstairs bathroom
is being retiled.

391
00:32:23,651 --> 00:32:25,862
But if you go upstairs,
and then to the right...

392
00:32:26,029 --> 00:32:28,823
Oh, yeah.
The room with the toilet.

393
00:32:29,657 --> 00:32:30,700
Is she all right?

394
00:33:17,580 --> 00:33:18,748
- Oh, dude.
- Hello, sorry.

395
00:33:19,374 --> 00:33:22,418
- I didn't expect to see you.
- Just came up to get something.

396
00:33:23,169 --> 00:33:25,254
Did your wife send you up here
to spy on me?

397
00:33:25,421 --> 00:33:29,425
No. What? Do we come off
as paranoid yuppies or something?

398
00:33:30,677 --> 00:33:34,305
Well, I stole a squirt
of your wife's perfume.

399
00:33:34,472 --> 00:33:35,640
Really?

400
00:33:35,807 --> 00:33:39,727
It's Clinique Happy. Get a whiff
of those sparkling top notes.

401
00:33:39,894 --> 00:33:43,106
Oh, yeah. That supposed
to make me feel happy?

402
00:33:43,272 --> 00:33:44,941
You should feel happy, homes.

403
00:33:45,108 --> 00:33:48,778
I'm giving you and Vanessa the gift
of life. Sweet, screaming, pooping life.

404
00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:51,447
You don't have to be there
when it's covered in...

405
00:33:51,614 --> 00:33:54,409
- Viscera.
- Blood and guts.

406
00:33:58,413 --> 00:33:59,914
Is that a Les Paul?

407
00:34:00,998 --> 00:34:04,627
Yes, it is. Vanessa gave me
my own room for all my stuff.

408
00:34:05,336 --> 00:34:10,758
She gave you your own room
in your whole house for your stuff?

409
00:34:10,925 --> 00:34:13,469
Wow, she's got you
on a long leash there, Mark.

410
00:34:14,095 --> 00:34:18,141
Oh, it's beautiful. You know, I always
loved Gibson way more than Fender.

411
00:34:18,307 --> 00:34:20,643
- Like, just...
- What do you play?

412
00:34:21,144 --> 00:34:22,812
I rock a Harmony.

413
00:34:25,314 --> 00:34:27,358
- So is it mahogany?
- Yeah.

414
00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:30,820
What happens if you crack the neck?
That must be, like, a bitch to...

415
00:34:30,987 --> 00:34:33,823
Tell me about it. I used to play
in this tight band in Chicago.

416
00:34:33,990 --> 00:34:36,826
One night we opened for the Melvins,
I busted it on-stage.

417
00:34:36,993 --> 00:34:39,829
It cost me 800 dollars
just to get it fixed.

418
00:34:40,329 --> 00:34:41,998
So when was that?
Was that like...?

419
00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:44,333
Ninety-three.
Best time for rock 'n' roll.

420
00:34:46,294 --> 00:34:48,171
- Seventy-seven. Are you...?
- What?

421
00:34:48,337 --> 00:34:51,340
<i>- Punk</i> Volume Number 1.
- You're crazy.

422
00:34:51,507 --> 00:34:54,552
Dude, you weren't there.
You couldn't understand the magic.

423
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:56,304
You weren't even alive.

424
00:34:58,139 --> 00:34:59,766
What's that?

425
00:35:02,393 --> 00:35:03,811
It's a Pilates machine.

426
00:35:05,980 --> 00:35:08,024
What do you make with it?

427
00:35:08,191 --> 00:35:11,027
You don't make anything.
It's for exercising.

428
00:35:12,904 --> 00:35:17,366
Yeah, my wife ordered one of those
Tony Little Gazelles off the TV.

429
00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:19,535
You know, from the guy
with the ponytail?

430
00:35:20,036 --> 00:35:22,497
That guy just doesn't
look right to me.

431
00:35:31,047 --> 00:35:32,715
I'll be right back.

432
00:35:34,509 --> 00:35:36,177
Excuse me.

433
00:35:44,727 --> 00:35:46,771
- H i.
- H i.

434
00:35:46,938 --> 00:35:48,022
You're playing music.

435
00:35:48,439 --> 00:35:50,566
Juno wanted a little
closer look at Kimber.

436
00:35:51,692 --> 00:35:53,569
- Your guitar is named Kimber?
- Yeah.

437
00:35:53,736 --> 00:35:57,281
That's cool. My ax is named Roosevelt.
But after Franklin, not Ted.

438
00:35:57,448 --> 00:36:00,576
Franklin, he was the hot one
with the polio?

439
00:36:00,743 --> 00:36:03,079
Yeah. Hey, Gerta's downstairs.

440
00:36:03,246 --> 00:36:06,874
We still have a lot of stuff
to go over and do.

441
00:36:07,041 --> 00:36:08,751
- I got it, I got it. Got it?
- Got it?

442
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,337
Not to interrupt
the jam session, but...

443
00:36:11,921 --> 00:36:14,465
Here and here.

444
00:36:14,757 --> 00:36:18,427
So just look these over. If you have
any questions, call me at my office.

445
00:36:18,594 --> 00:36:22,431
We'd appreciate it if you would keep us
updated on any doctor's appointments...

446
00:36:22,598 --> 00:36:25,101
...or ultrasounds
or anything of that nature.

447
00:36:25,268 --> 00:36:26,435
- Yeah.
- If it's not too...

448
00:36:26,602 --> 00:36:30,273
No, right, for sure. You want to know
how your kid's a-cooking. I get it.

449
00:36:31,274 --> 00:36:33,901
You think you're really
gonna do this, then?

450
00:36:34,068 --> 00:36:37,405
Yeah. Yeah, no,
I like you guys. Yeah.

451
00:36:38,948 --> 00:36:41,075
How sure would you say you are?

452
00:36:41,242 --> 00:36:47,123
Like, would you say you're
80 percent sure or 90 percent sure?

453
00:36:48,082 --> 00:36:50,585
I'm gonna say I'm about
104 percent sure.

454
00:36:50,751 --> 00:36:53,004
- Really?
- Here you go, sir.

455
00:36:53,170 --> 00:36:57,425
Seriously, if I could just have the thing
and give it to you now, I totally would.

456
00:36:57,592 --> 00:37:00,845
But I'm guessing it looks probably
like a Sea-Monkey right now...

457
00:37:01,012 --> 00:37:04,807
...and, you know, we should
let it get a little cuter.

458
00:37:04,974 --> 00:37:07,101
- Yes. Keep it in the oven.
- Great.

459
00:37:07,268 --> 00:37:08,686
I think that's a great idea.

460
00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:10,438
- Nice to meet you both.
- You too.

461
00:37:10,605 --> 00:37:14,025
- Hopefully we'll hear from you soon.
- You're beautiful. Thank you.

462
00:37:14,317 --> 00:37:17,904
- All right. You take care.
- All right. Bye-bye.

463
00:37:51,687 --> 00:37:54,023
- Hey, man.
- Hey, Vijay. How's it going?

464
00:37:54,190 --> 00:37:56,359
Did you hear?
Juno MacGuff's pregnant.

465
00:37:56,525 --> 00:37:57,652
Yeah.

466
00:37:57,818 --> 00:38:00,154
- Like our moms and teachers.
- Yeah.

467
00:38:00,321 --> 00:38:01,572
Did you hear it's yours?

468
00:38:03,157 --> 00:38:04,325
Yup.

469
00:38:04,492 --> 00:38:06,035
What a trip, man.

470
00:38:06,202 --> 00:38:08,704
Yeah. I don't really
know too much about it.

471
00:38:08,871 --> 00:38:11,999
- You should grow a mustache.
- I can't.

472
00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:16,879
Me neither. But I'm gonna stop wearing
underpants, raise my sperm count.

473
00:38:17,046 --> 00:38:18,589
See you.

474
00:38:43,864 --> 00:38:45,366
- Juno, hey.
- Hey, Bleek.

475
00:38:45,533 --> 00:38:47,702
Me and some guys are gonna
go to the movies...

476
00:38:47,868 --> 00:38:50,538
...and doughnut that flick
with the guy who has 18 kids.

477
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,707
You wanna come?

478
00:38:54,250 --> 00:38:56,711
Sounds awesome,
but I got my ultrasound.

479
00:38:57,044 --> 00:38:58,754
Oh, really?

480
00:38:59,547 --> 00:39:03,926
Can I...? Should I come with you?

481
00:39:05,553 --> 00:39:09,306
You can't waste those
doughnut holes there.

482
00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:11,642
But maybe I could,
you know, drop by later.

483
00:39:11,809 --> 00:39:13,269
Okay, cool.

484
00:39:13,769 --> 00:39:16,230
- Later, Bleek.
- See you.

485
00:39:17,648 --> 00:39:19,608
I'll save you a seat.

486
00:39:30,453 --> 00:39:32,246
There's your baby.

487
00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:35,833
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, Juno.

488
00:39:36,042 --> 00:39:37,752
There's a hand.

489
00:39:39,336 --> 00:39:40,629
And an arm.

490
00:39:44,175 --> 00:39:45,634
And there's the feet.

491
00:39:48,679 --> 00:39:49,847
Would you look at that?

492
00:39:51,182 --> 00:39:55,770
Whoa, check out Baby Big Head.
Dude, that thing is freaky-looking.

493
00:39:55,936 --> 00:39:58,022
Excuse me, I am a sacred vessel.

494
00:39:58,189 --> 00:40:00,483
All you've got in your stomach
is Taco Bell.

495
00:40:02,318 --> 00:40:05,362
It's amazing that there's actually
saps that cry at this.

496
00:40:05,863 --> 00:40:08,324
What? I'm not made of stone.

497
00:40:09,325 --> 00:40:12,661
Well, there you have it.
Would you like to know the sex?

498
00:40:12,953 --> 00:40:16,624
- Yes. Please, Juno, please?
- No. No, definitely. No, there's... No sex.

499
00:40:16,791 --> 00:40:18,501
Planning to be surprised?

500
00:40:18,667 --> 00:40:20,628
I want Mark and Vanessa
to be surprised.

501
00:40:20,795 --> 00:40:23,214
And if you tell me,
I'll just ruin everything.

502
00:40:23,380 --> 00:40:25,549
Are Mark and Vanessa
your friends at school?

503
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:27,718
No, no, no,
they're the adoptive parents.

504
00:40:28,344 --> 00:40:30,012
Well, thank goodness for that.

505
00:40:31,013 --> 00:40:33,224
What's that supposed to mean?

506
00:40:33,390 --> 00:40:35,851
I see a lot of teenage mothers
come through here.

507
00:40:36,018 --> 00:40:39,063
It's obviously a poisonous
environment to raise a baby in.

508
00:40:39,230 --> 00:40:41,649
How do you know that
I'm so poisonous, you know?

509
00:40:41,816 --> 00:40:45,319
What if these adoptive parents
turn out to be, like, evil molesters?

510
00:40:45,486 --> 00:40:46,654
Or, like, stage parents.

511
00:40:46,821 --> 00:40:49,865
They could be negligent.
Maybe they'll do a far shittier job...

512
00:40:50,032 --> 00:40:52,868
...than my dumb-ass stepdaughter.
Have you considered that?

513
00:40:53,744 --> 00:40:55,538
No, I guess not.

514
00:40:55,704 --> 00:40:57,832
Yeah.
What is your job title exactly?

515
00:40:58,499 --> 00:41:00,709
I'm an ultrasound
technician, ma'am.

516
00:41:00,876 --> 00:41:05,256
Well, I'm a nail technician, and I think we
both ought to stick to what we know.

517
00:41:05,673 --> 00:41:06,841
Excuse me?

518
00:41:07,049 --> 00:41:10,261
You think you're so special
because you get to play Picture Pages?

519
00:41:10,427 --> 00:41:14,390
My 5-year-old could do that, and she's
not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.

520
00:41:14,557 --> 00:41:18,727
Why don't you go back to night school
in Manteno and learn a real trade?

521
00:41:23,399 --> 00:41:27,903
Bren, you're a dick. I love it.

522
00:42:31,008 --> 00:42:32,968
Juno, I didn't expect
to see you here.

523
00:42:33,135 --> 00:42:36,805
I have something really cool
to show you guys. Is Vanessa here?

524
00:42:37,431 --> 00:42:39,475
No. Actually,
she's working late tonight.

525
00:42:39,642 --> 00:42:42,937
Trying to accrue as much time off
as she can before the:

526
00:42:43,103 --> 00:42:45,439
Oh, right. I hear these
are quite the time suck.

527
00:42:45,606 --> 00:42:49,443
Yeah. Wanna come on in? I'm just having
a ginseng cooler. Would you like one?

528
00:42:49,610 --> 00:42:54,031
What is it with you rich people
and your herb-infused juices?

529
00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:57,326
Something to do with those
sporty four-packs they come in.

530
00:42:57,493 --> 00:42:59,203
They're not bad though.

531
00:42:59,370 --> 00:43:01,497
Wait a second.
Why aren't you at work?

532
00:43:01,664 --> 00:43:03,999
I work mostly from home.
I'm a composer.

533
00:43:05,167 --> 00:43:08,337
No shit.
Like Johannes Brahms, or...?

534
00:43:08,504 --> 00:43:10,839
No. More commercial stuff.

535
00:43:11,173 --> 00:43:13,342
- Like what?
- Commercials.

536
00:43:13,884 --> 00:43:17,263
Yeah. Have you seen the ads for
the Titanium Power men's deodorant?

537
00:43:21,392 --> 00:43:24,561
<i>Titanium Power</i>

538
00:43:24,770 --> 00:43:27,690
<i>Get more snatch by the batch</i>

539
00:43:27,856 --> 00:43:29,650
Right. Paid for this kitchen.

540
00:43:32,069 --> 00:43:36,699
You're quite the sellout, Mark.
I mean, what would the Melvins say?

541
00:43:38,367 --> 00:43:40,327
Did you say you had
something to show me?

542
00:43:40,494 --> 00:43:44,164
Behold, good sir, your future child.

543
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,001
Hey, look at that.

544
00:43:49,712 --> 00:43:52,923
I think it looks like
my friend Paulie.

545
00:43:53,507 --> 00:43:56,719
- Is he also bald and amorphous?
- No, he's the dad.

546
00:43:59,847 --> 00:44:02,099
Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?

547
00:44:02,308 --> 00:44:06,895
I can't. The doctor can.
But I kind of want it to be a surprise.

548
00:44:07,062 --> 00:44:09,023
Well, it can only go
one of two ways.

549
00:44:09,189 --> 00:44:12,026
That's what you think.
I mean, I drank tons of booze...

550
00:44:12,192 --> 00:44:16,697
...so you might end up with one of those
scary neuter-babies born without junk.

551
00:44:16,864 --> 00:44:19,575
- Junk, huh?
- Yeah, you know, its parts.

552
00:44:19,742 --> 00:44:21,452
- I know what junk is.
- Yeah, right.

553
00:44:21,618 --> 00:44:24,079
We definitely want it
to have some junk. Please.

554
00:44:24,246 --> 00:44:26,081
You don't need to worry
about a thing.

555
00:44:26,248 --> 00:44:29,710
My stepmom, Bren,
makes me eat super-healthy.

556
00:44:29,877 --> 00:44:34,089
You know, I can't stand in front
of the microwave, and no red M&M's.

557
00:44:34,256 --> 00:44:35,341
I hope you're ready.

558
00:44:37,343 --> 00:44:39,553
- You hear that?
- What?

559
00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:41,764
This is my favorite song.

560
00:44:41,930 --> 00:44:45,267
This is Sonic Youth doing
"Superstar" by the Carpenters.

561
00:44:45,434 --> 00:44:47,644
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know the Carpenters.

562
00:44:47,853 --> 00:44:50,981
Chick drummer, freaky dude.
Not unlike the White Stripes.

563
00:44:51,148 --> 00:44:54,568
You haven't heard the Carpenters
like this. Just listen.

564
00:45:02,618 --> 00:45:05,621
Yeah. Yeah, I like this.

565
00:45:05,788 --> 00:45:07,664
What did you say
your favorite band was?

566
00:45:07,873 --> 00:45:12,378
Didn't. It's a three-way tie between the
Stooges, Patti Smith and the Runaways.

567
00:45:13,587 --> 00:45:17,174
I'm definitely making you some CD's.
At least while my kid's in there.

568
00:45:21,512 --> 00:45:23,138
<i>The Wizard of Gore?</i>

569
00:45:23,305 --> 00:45:26,975
That is Herschell Gordon Lewis.
He's the ultimate master of horror.

570
00:45:27,142 --> 00:45:31,313
Please. Dario Argento
is so the ultimate master of horror.

571
00:45:32,147 --> 00:45:37,444
Argento? He's all right.
But Lewis is completely demented.

572
00:45:37,611 --> 00:45:41,156
We're talking about buckets of goo.
Red corn syrup all over the place.

573
00:45:41,323 --> 00:45:44,326
There's fake brains
coming out the yin-yang.

574
00:45:44,493 --> 00:45:47,663
Quite frankly,
this looks a little stupid.

575
00:45:49,039 --> 00:45:50,833
Give me the tape.

576
00:46:04,930 --> 00:46:07,182
This is even better than <i>Suspiria.</i>

577
00:46:07,349 --> 00:46:09,393
- What did I tell you?
- Kudos.

578
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,855
You have decent taste
in slasher movies.

579
00:46:13,021 --> 00:46:15,691
Here's to dovetailing interests.

580
00:46:17,860 --> 00:46:21,363
Have you guys thought
of any names for the baby yet?

581
00:46:21,697 --> 00:46:26,326
Sort of, yes.
Vanessa likes Madison for a girl.

582
00:46:28,495 --> 00:46:31,957
Madison? Wait, hold on.

583
00:46:32,207 --> 00:46:36,712
Isn't that, like, a little gay?

584
00:46:37,546 --> 00:46:39,006
Wow, pretentious much?

585
00:46:39,173 --> 00:46:42,176
Should everyone just have
a mysterious name like Juno?

586
00:46:42,342 --> 00:46:44,094
No, Dad's...

587
00:46:44,261 --> 00:46:48,182
My dad went through this huge obsession
with Roman and Greek mythology.

588
00:46:48,348 --> 00:46:51,393
So he decided to name me
after Zeus' wife.

589
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,437
- I got it.
- Zeus, he had tons of lays...

590
00:46:53,604 --> 00:46:56,064
...but I'm pretty sure
Juno was his only wife.

591
00:46:56,231 --> 00:47:00,861
And she was supposed to be, like,
really beautiful but really mean.

592
00:47:01,028 --> 00:47:03,113
Like Diana Ross.

593
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,532
Well, that suits you.

594
00:47:06,366 --> 00:47:08,202
Thanks?

595
00:47:10,787 --> 00:47:12,998
You are something else.

596
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,756
- There's Vanessa. You'd better go.
- What? Why?

597
00:47:20,923 --> 00:47:25,093
She hates when I sit around and I watch
movies and I don't "contribute."

598
00:47:25,260 --> 00:47:28,722
No, I'll handle this. I'm really good
at diffusing mom-type rage.

599
00:47:28,889 --> 00:47:30,766
- Juno, seriously...
- Mark, where are you?

600
00:47:30,933 --> 00:47:32,643
- I got some stuff...
- Hey, Vanessa.

601
00:47:32,809 --> 00:47:34,603
- Juno. What's going on?
- Nothing.

602
00:47:34,770 --> 00:47:37,064
- What's wrong?
- I went to the doctor today.

603
00:47:37,231 --> 00:47:39,274
- Is something wrong?
- The baby's great.

604
00:47:39,441 --> 00:47:43,612
It's the right size and everything.
I even saw its phalanges today. Here.

605
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,325
It's a baby. It's your baby.

606
00:47:52,246 --> 00:47:55,123
It kind of looks like it's waving,
you know?

607
00:47:55,290 --> 00:47:58,961
Like it's saying,
"Hey, Vanessa, will you be my mom?"

608
00:47:59,127 --> 00:48:01,630
- He kind of does.
- Right?

609
00:48:01,797 --> 00:48:04,091
Juno was nice enough
to bring that over for us.

610
00:48:04,258 --> 00:48:08,470
Yeah, I came as soon as I got
that ultrasound goo off my pelvis.

611
00:48:08,637 --> 00:48:11,807
It was crazy, actually.
My stepmom verbally abused...

612
00:48:11,974 --> 00:48:16,353
...the ultrasound tech,
and we got escorted off the premises.

613
00:48:19,356 --> 00:48:22,150
Wow, what kind of swag
did you score?

614
00:48:22,317 --> 00:48:23,318
Mall madness, huh?

615
00:48:23,485 --> 00:48:25,946
It's just some stuff
I picked up for the baby.

616
00:48:26,363 --> 00:48:28,991
Don't you usually get all that stuff
at a baby shower?

617
00:48:29,157 --> 00:48:33,036
My stepmom was pregnant with my
little sister, and she got a million gifts.

618
00:48:33,203 --> 00:48:35,956
But I wasn't jealous
because they were all super-lame.

619
00:48:36,123 --> 00:48:38,041
I doubt anyone's
gonna throw us a shower.

620
00:48:38,208 --> 00:48:40,002
Why wouldn't they
throw you a shower?

621
00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:45,340
I don't think people know
how to feel about the situation...

622
00:48:45,507 --> 00:48:48,176
- ...because it's not set in stone.
- What isn't set...?

623
00:48:50,596 --> 00:48:53,181
No. You don't think that
I'm gonna flake out on you?

624
00:48:53,348 --> 00:48:55,058
No, I don't, Juno.

625
00:48:55,225 --> 00:48:58,604
We went through a situation before
where it didn't work out.

626
00:48:58,895 --> 00:49:00,397
Yeah, cold feet.

627
00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:07,696
You should've gone to China.

628
00:49:07,863 --> 00:49:11,491
You know, because I hear they
give away babies like free iPods.

629
00:49:12,492 --> 00:49:16,663
They just put them in those t-shirt guns
and shoot them out at sporting events.

630
00:49:19,249 --> 00:49:22,002
Your parents are probably
wondering where you are.

631
00:49:22,169 --> 00:49:26,882
No. I'm already pregnant. So, what other
kind of shenanigans could I get into?

632
00:49:27,049 --> 00:49:29,092
But I should probably bounce.

633
00:49:29,259 --> 00:49:32,387
- Hey, don't forget your bag.
- Bag.

634
00:49:33,055 --> 00:49:34,556
Thank you.

635
00:49:37,559 --> 00:49:39,645
Okay, take care.

636
00:50:01,249 --> 00:50:03,085
Where the hell you been, Junebug?

637
00:50:03,251 --> 00:50:06,922
Oh, I just drove to Saint Cloud to show
Mark and Vanessa the ultrasound.

638
00:50:07,089 --> 00:50:08,757
I ended up staying a couple hours.

639
00:50:08,924 --> 00:50:11,885
A couple hours? What are you
going there in the first place?

640
00:50:12,260 --> 00:50:14,596
Oh, well, they wanted to know
about the stuff...

641
00:50:14,763 --> 00:50:17,099
...and I said I'd keep them updated,
so I did.

642
00:50:17,265 --> 00:50:18,975
You could have mailed it to them.

643
00:50:19,184 --> 00:50:22,270
Why would you drive an hour
out to East Jesus, Nowhere?

644
00:50:23,772 --> 00:50:27,317
I just did. You know, and while
Mark and I were waiting for Vanessa...

645
00:50:27,484 --> 00:50:29,778
...we watched
<i>The Wizard of Gore...</i>

646
00:50:29,945 --> 00:50:34,616
...and then he burned me a couple
of CD's of this weird music, so...

647
00:50:34,783 --> 00:50:36,993
It was cool. He's kind of cool.

648
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:42,416
Juno, you can't just drop in
on them like that.

649
00:50:42,582 --> 00:50:46,128
No, it was not a big deal.
He was totally cool with it.

650
00:50:46,294 --> 00:50:50,590
You don't understand. Mark is
a married man. There are boundaries.

651
00:50:50,757 --> 00:50:55,512
Oh, come on. Listen, Brenda.

652
00:50:55,721 --> 00:50:59,141
Now, you're acting like you're the one
who has to go through this.

653
00:50:59,307 --> 00:51:03,478
Like you have to get huge and shove
a baby out of your vag for someone else.

654
00:51:03,645 --> 00:51:06,773
What does it matter if he's married?
I can have married friends.

655
00:51:06,940 --> 00:51:08,191
It doesn't work that way.

656
00:51:08,358 --> 00:51:10,861
You don't know squat
about the dynamics of marriage.

657
00:51:11,027 --> 00:51:14,364
- You don't know anything about me.
- I know enough.

658
00:51:16,158 --> 00:51:17,826
We don't even have a dog.

659
00:51:17,993 --> 00:51:20,871
We don't have a dog because
you're allergic to their saliva.

660
00:51:21,538 --> 00:51:23,665
I have sacrificed
a lot for you, Juno...

661
00:51:23,832 --> 00:51:27,377
...and in a couple years when you
move out, I'm gonna get Weimaraners.

662
00:51:27,836 --> 00:51:31,673
- Whoa, dream big.
- Oh, go fly a kite.

663
00:51:55,405 --> 00:51:58,366
Hi, Juno. What can I do for you?

664
00:51:59,659 --> 00:52:00,702
Bleeker home?

665
00:52:01,411 --> 00:52:06,374
<i>Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive
once, but now she looks like a hobbit.</i>

666
00:52:08,084 --> 00:52:10,545
<i>You know, the fat one
that was in</i> The Goonies?

667
00:52:17,385 --> 00:52:21,890
Hey, man. Don't concentrate so hard.
I think I can smell your hair a-burning.

668
00:52:22,057 --> 00:52:23,225
Hey, what's up?

669
00:52:23,391 --> 00:52:25,852
Not much. I just wanted
to come say hey.

670
00:52:26,019 --> 00:52:31,566
I mean, I miss, like, just hanging out
with you on school nights, you know?

671
00:52:32,067 --> 00:52:34,736
<i>Orange tic tacs are Bleeker's
one and only vice.</i>

672
00:52:35,570 --> 00:52:39,366
<i>The day I got pregnant, his mouth
tasted really tangy and delicious.</i>

673
00:52:47,123 --> 00:52:48,792
Wow, you really...

674
00:52:48,959 --> 00:52:53,046
You really seem to be getting
pregnanter these days.

675
00:52:55,549 --> 00:52:57,801
You know, I set up
this whole private adoption.

676
00:52:57,968 --> 00:53:02,764
And this married couple in, like, Saint
Cloud, they're gonna be the parents.

677
00:53:02,931 --> 00:53:04,933
- Really?
- Yeah.

678
00:53:05,100 --> 00:53:06,351
Wow, what are they like?

679
00:53:06,852 --> 00:53:10,438
Well, I mean,
the guy, he's awesome.

680
00:53:10,605 --> 00:53:15,485
His name's Mark, and he likes old
horror movies and he plays the guitar.

681
00:53:15,652 --> 00:53:17,487
We actually hung out
this afternoon.

682
00:53:17,946 --> 00:53:19,281
Is that normal?

683
00:53:19,781 --> 00:53:21,116
Probably not, but...

684
00:53:21,950 --> 00:53:24,578
Listen, I talked to Dad and Bren...

685
00:53:24,744 --> 00:53:28,498
...and they said they wouldn't
narc you out to your folks...

686
00:53:28,665 --> 00:53:30,792
...so I think we should be cool,
you know?

687
00:53:30,959 --> 00:53:32,878
That's a relief.

688
00:53:36,089 --> 00:53:37,799
You know, I'm gonna...

689
00:53:38,466 --> 00:53:42,971
...start looking like
a pretty big dork soon, so...

690
00:53:43,138 --> 00:53:46,850
Are you still gonna think
I'm cute when I'm huge?

691
00:53:47,017 --> 00:53:50,478
I always think you're cute.
I think you're beautiful.

692
00:53:51,271 --> 00:53:52,898
Jeez, Bleek.

693
00:53:53,273 --> 00:53:54,983
Well, I do.

694
00:53:57,819 --> 00:54:01,990
Hey, Junebug, when this is all over,
we should get the band back together.

695
00:54:02,157 --> 00:54:05,660
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that would be awesome.

696
00:54:05,827 --> 00:54:07,954
I mean, once Tino
gets the new drumhead...

697
00:54:08,121 --> 00:54:10,165
...we're just, like, ready to rock.

698
00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:15,295
And I mean, we could always get back
together too. That's an option.

699
00:54:20,175 --> 00:54:21,509
Were we together?

700
00:54:22,344 --> 00:54:26,848
Yeah, we were once, you know?
That time.

701
00:54:33,563 --> 00:54:37,400
What about Katrina De Voort? You could
totally go out with Katrina De Voort.

702
00:54:37,567 --> 00:54:40,195
I don't like Katrina.
She smells like soup.

703
00:54:40,362 --> 00:54:44,032
I mean, have you ever smelled her?
And her whole house smells like soup.

704
00:54:52,540 --> 00:54:54,042
Okay.

705
00:54:55,043 --> 00:54:59,047
So we have Custard and Cheesecake.

706
00:54:59,214 --> 00:55:01,174
They're yellow.

707
00:55:02,258 --> 00:55:05,345
I wanted something gender-neutral
until we get the baby...

708
00:55:05,512 --> 00:55:08,348
...and then we can just
add a more decisive palette.

709
00:55:08,515 --> 00:55:10,892
Why does everybody think
yellow is gender-neutral?

710
00:55:11,059 --> 00:55:14,229
I don't know any guy
with a yellow bedroom.

711
00:55:15,897 --> 00:55:19,609
I'm thinking more Custard,
just with this light.

712
00:55:19,776 --> 00:55:23,697
I don't know, maybe I should paint
a larger swatch or just try it on.

713
00:55:26,741 --> 00:55:28,910
Or you can wait
a few more months.

714
00:55:29,077 --> 00:55:33,748
Not like the baby's gonna come storming
in here demanding dessert-colored walls.

715
00:55:37,794 --> 00:55:41,256
<i>What to Expect</i> says that
readying the baby's room...

716
00:55:41,423 --> 00:55:44,467
...is an important process
for the woman.

717
00:55:44,634 --> 00:55:47,429
Especially if you're adopting.
It's called nesting.

718
00:55:47,595 --> 00:55:50,265
- Nesting?
- Yeah.

719
00:55:50,432 --> 00:55:53,935
Are you gonna build the crib
out of sticks and spit?

720
00:55:55,937 --> 00:55:59,983
Well, you should read the book.
I flagged the daddy chapters. They're...

721
00:56:00,150 --> 00:56:03,903
I think it's too early to paint.
That's my opinion.

722
00:56:04,654 --> 00:56:06,740
I disagree.

723
00:56:09,784 --> 00:56:12,662
This wall is gonna need something.

724
00:56:15,248 --> 00:56:19,794
Our first family photo right in the middle.
Right up there.

725
00:56:22,589 --> 00:56:24,841
Can you see it?

726
00:56:28,470 --> 00:56:30,680
This pretzel tastes like
a frigging doughnut.

727
00:56:30,847 --> 00:56:33,433
- Share the love, Sweet Tits.
- No, you can't have any.

728
00:56:34,350 --> 00:56:38,646
She's assaulting me!
She's denying me fresh-baked goods.

729
00:56:38,813 --> 00:56:41,649
- Oh, my God.
- What?

730
00:56:41,983 --> 00:56:44,360
That's her. That's Vanessa Loring.

731
00:56:44,569 --> 00:56:47,447
Of the <i>PennySaver</i> Lorings?

732
00:56:49,866 --> 00:56:51,659
Dude, she's, like, really pretty.

733
00:56:51,826 --> 00:56:53,995
You sound, like, totally shocked
or something.

734
00:56:55,663 --> 00:56:58,625
She's totally gonna steal that little kid
for her collection.

735
00:56:58,792 --> 00:57:00,585
Right? Seriously.

736
00:57:09,344 --> 00:57:11,096
Boring.

737
00:57:20,688 --> 00:57:23,191
I could so go for, like,
a huge cookie right now...

738
00:57:23,358 --> 00:57:26,027
...with, like, a lamb kebab
simultaneously.

739
00:57:26,194 --> 00:57:28,863
God, Spermy.
Must you always feed?

740
00:57:29,030 --> 00:57:32,867
It's, like, never-ending for you.

741
00:57:33,243 --> 00:57:34,911
- Juno.
- Hi, Vanessa.

742
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:38,123
- Hi, Juno.
- What brings you to the mall today?

743
00:57:38,623 --> 00:57:41,251
I was just shopping
with my girlfriends and...

744
00:57:41,626 --> 00:57:42,710
You're gay?

745
00:57:42,877 --> 00:57:45,380
- Oh, just ignore her.
- No. Okay.

746
00:57:45,547 --> 00:57:46,881
Well, how are you feeling?

747
00:57:47,048 --> 00:57:49,509
Great. Everything's stupendous,
you know?

748
00:57:49,676 --> 00:57:52,387
Oh, coming in on that
snooze button.

749
00:57:54,639 --> 00:57:55,849
That's incredible.

750
00:57:56,558 --> 00:57:57,725
Oh, God.

751
00:57:58,893 --> 00:58:02,188
- What?
- Kicking. Kicking away.

752
00:58:04,566 --> 00:58:07,402
Could I feel it?

753
00:58:07,569 --> 00:58:10,238
Are you kidding? Come on.

754
00:58:11,030 --> 00:58:14,576
At school everyone's just grabbing
my belly all the time. It's crazy.

755
00:58:14,742 --> 00:58:17,453
But I'm a legend.
They call me the Cautionary Whale.

756
00:58:21,583 --> 00:58:23,293
I can't feel anything.

757
00:58:25,962 --> 00:58:28,089
It's not moving for me.

758
00:58:29,591 --> 00:58:32,594
You should try talking to it,
supposedly they can hear you.

759
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,430
Even though it's like
<i>10,000 Leagues Under the Sea.</i>

760
00:58:50,278 --> 00:58:52,405
Hi, baby.

761
00:58:56,701 --> 00:59:00,205
It's me. It's Vanessa.

762
00:59:03,750 --> 00:59:06,252
I can't wait to meet you.

763
00:59:12,926 --> 00:59:15,345
Can you hear me, baby?

764
00:59:16,471 --> 00:59:18,514
Sweet angel?

765
00:59:28,650 --> 00:59:29,776
I felt it.

766
00:59:30,485 --> 00:59:34,489
Oh, God. That was magical.

767
00:59:38,826 --> 00:59:42,330
Thank you. Thank you.

768
01:00:20,368 --> 01:00:25,498
<i>And if you can't decide between
A little breakfast and lunch</i>

769
01:00:25,665 --> 01:00:30,545
<i>Why don't you microwave yourself
A little bowl of brunch?</i>

770
01:00:34,215 --> 01:00:36,217
- Hello.
<i>- Hey.</i>

771
01:00:36,384 --> 01:00:37,385
H i.

772
01:00:37,552 --> 01:00:40,555
So I've been listening to that
really weird CD you made me.

773
01:00:40,722 --> 01:00:43,725
- Yeah? What's the verdict?
- Well, it's cute.

774
01:00:43,891 --> 01:00:46,561
- It's cute?
- When you're used to the raw power...

775
01:00:46,728 --> 01:00:50,273
...of Iggy and the Stooges, everything
else just sounds kind of, like...

776
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:51,941
...precious in comparison.

777
01:00:52,442 --> 01:00:55,570
I imagine you've got a collection
of punk chestnuts to prove it.

778
01:00:55,945 --> 01:00:59,407
Well, consider it
your musical education.

779
01:00:59,741 --> 01:01:01,909
Can't wait to see
what you've got to teach me.

780
01:01:02,243 --> 01:01:04,454
Stop surfing porn
and get back to work.

781
01:01:05,413 --> 01:01:07,623
Just wanted to call and say hi.

782
01:01:08,041 --> 01:01:09,959
All right. Go learn something.

783
01:01:11,586 --> 01:01:13,713
Oh, a little trip down Mexico way.

784
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:16,257
And Greece and China, apparently.

785
01:01:16,424 --> 01:01:18,760
How many months has it been?
You're getting huge.

786
01:01:18,926 --> 01:01:23,639
Well, it's honing in on eight.
You should see how weird I look naked.

787
01:01:23,848 --> 01:01:25,641
I wish my fun bags
would get bigger.

788
01:01:25,850 --> 01:01:28,936
God, trust me, you don't.
I have to wear a fricking bra now...

789
01:01:29,103 --> 01:01:32,774
...and rub all this nasty
cocoa-butter stuff on myself so, like...

790
01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:35,777
- ...I don't know, my skin won't explode.
- Hot.

791
01:01:38,988 --> 01:01:41,074
Why is everyone
always staring at me?

792
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:43,785
Well, you are kind of convex,
you know.

793
01:01:45,870 --> 01:01:47,914
Who's been doing their
geometry homework for once?

794
01:01:48,081 --> 01:01:51,667
I have no choice. Keith has been
grading me, like, so hard lately.

795
01:01:51,876 --> 01:01:54,170
- Do not call Mr. Conyers Keith.
- Why?

796
01:01:54,379 --> 01:01:56,964
Because my barf reflex
is really heightened these days.

797
01:01:57,131 --> 01:01:58,883
But Keith's hot.

798
01:02:01,302 --> 01:02:03,679
He's all beardy.

799
01:02:04,639 --> 01:02:07,683
Did you hear that Bleek is going
to prom with Katrina De Voort?

800
01:02:09,769 --> 01:02:14,190
Katrina? No way. He doesn't like Katrina.
Must be, like, a pity date or something.

801
01:02:14,399 --> 01:02:17,193
I heard he asked her.
And that they're going to Benihana...

802
01:02:17,402 --> 01:02:20,488
...and then prom
and then Vijay's parents' cabin.

803
01:02:20,655 --> 01:02:23,324
He told me that Katrina's house
smells like soup.

804
01:02:23,491 --> 01:02:24,992
Oh, my God, it totally does.

805
01:02:25,159 --> 01:02:29,664
I was there four years ago for her
birthday party. It's like Lipton Landing.

806
01:02:29,831 --> 01:02:33,167
But, you know, boys have endured
way worse things for nookie.

807
01:02:33,501 --> 01:02:37,046
Oh, please. There is no way
that they're having sex.

808
01:02:37,213 --> 01:02:41,050
- They wouldn't even be holding hands.
- Wouldn't be so sure. He did it with you.

809
01:02:41,217 --> 01:02:44,679
Yeah, because Bleek trusts me,
you know? And we're best friends.

810
01:02:44,846 --> 01:02:48,516
Are you jealous? I thought you said
you didn't care what he did.

811
01:02:49,016 --> 01:02:52,687
Not jealous. Don't care. It's just
I know Bleek doesn't like Katrina.

812
01:02:52,854 --> 01:02:56,065
He shouldn't toy with her emotions
because she seems pretty nice.

813
01:02:56,816 --> 01:02:58,401
I'm really convinced.

814
01:02:58,568 --> 01:03:00,194
Prom is for wenises anyway.

815
01:03:00,361 --> 01:03:03,698
As soon as you're old enough to go,
it's so not cool anymore.

816
01:03:12,707 --> 01:03:16,043
Are you honestly and truly going
to prom with Katrina De Voort?

817
01:03:17,170 --> 01:03:18,379
- H i.
- Leah just said...

818
01:03:18,546 --> 01:03:20,339
...that you were gonna go with her.

819
01:03:20,506 --> 01:03:23,384
Yeah. I did ask her
if she wanted to go.

820
01:03:23,551 --> 01:03:26,262
A bunch of us are gonna go
to Benihana and then prom...

821
01:03:26,471 --> 01:03:28,389
...and then go
to Vijay's parents' cabin.

822
01:03:29,390 --> 01:03:30,475
So...

823
01:03:31,684 --> 01:03:33,895
We're getting a stretch limo.

824
01:03:34,270 --> 01:03:37,273
Your mom must be pretty stoked
that you're not taking me.

825
01:03:38,691 --> 01:03:40,193
You're mad. Why are you mad?

826
01:03:40,902 --> 01:03:43,029
I'm not mad. I'm in a great mood.

827
01:03:43,196 --> 01:03:45,907
Despite the fact that
I'm in a fat suit I can't take off.

828
01:03:46,073 --> 01:03:49,952
And despite the fact that everyone's
making fun of me behind my back.

829
01:03:50,119 --> 01:03:53,956
And despite the fact that your girlfriend
gave me the stink eye in art class.

830
01:03:54,123 --> 01:03:57,251
Katrina's not my girlfriend.
I doubt she gave you the stink eye.

831
01:03:57,418 --> 01:04:01,297
That's just the way her face looks,
you know? That's just her face.

832
01:04:03,633 --> 01:04:06,594
Yeah. You just take
Soupy Sales to prom.

833
01:04:06,761 --> 01:04:09,055
I can think of so many
cooler things to do.

834
01:04:09,222 --> 01:04:13,434
Like I might pumice my feet. I might
go to Bren's dumb Unitarian church.

835
01:04:13,601 --> 01:04:16,437
Maybe get hit by a truck
full of hot garbage juice.

836
01:04:16,604 --> 01:04:20,775
Because all those things would be
cooler than going to prom with you.

837
01:04:23,653 --> 01:04:25,780
You're being really immature.

838
01:04:26,822 --> 01:04:30,284
You have no reason to be mad at me.
I mean, you broke my heart.

839
01:04:30,451 --> 01:04:34,622
I should be royally ticked off at you.
I should be really cheesed off.

840
01:04:34,789 --> 01:04:37,083
I shouldn't wanna
talk to you anymore.

841
01:04:38,125 --> 01:04:42,463
Why? Because I got bored and had sex
with you and I didn't wanna marry you?

842
01:04:42,630 --> 01:04:46,926
Like I'd marry you. You'd be the meanest
wife ever. And I know you weren't bored.

843
01:04:47,093 --> 01:04:49,262
Because there was
a lot of stuff on TV.

844
01:04:49,428 --> 01:04:51,806
And <i>The Blair Witch Project</i>
was coming on Starz.

845
01:04:51,973 --> 01:04:55,017
And you were like,
"I haven't seen this since it came out.

846
01:04:55,184 --> 01:04:58,354
But, oh, no, we should
just make out instead."

847
01:05:00,481 --> 01:05:03,359
All right, you just take Katrina
the douche packer to prom.

848
01:05:03,568 --> 01:05:06,153
I'm sure you two will have,
like, a real bitchen time.

849
01:05:06,612 --> 01:05:09,156
Well, I still have your underwear.

850
01:05:09,323 --> 01:05:11,117
I still have your virginity.

851
01:05:11,659 --> 01:05:13,286
God, would you shut up?

852
01:05:13,452 --> 01:05:15,663
- Are you ashamed that we did it?
- No.

853
01:05:15,830 --> 01:05:19,625
Because at least you don't have to have
the evidence under your sweater.

854
01:05:21,085 --> 01:05:23,170
I'm a planet.

855
01:05:26,841 --> 01:05:29,010
Let me get your bag.
You shouldn't carry that.

856
01:05:29,176 --> 01:05:31,012
What's another 10 pounds?

857
01:06:17,433 --> 01:06:20,061
Hi. Wow, that shirt's working hard.

858
01:06:20,227 --> 01:06:21,270
Is Vanessa here?

859
01:06:21,437 --> 01:06:23,773
No. We are safe.

860
01:06:23,939 --> 01:06:25,107
Sweet.

861
01:06:25,274 --> 01:06:28,944
I'm glad you're here. I actually
have something for you. Come here.

862
01:06:31,947 --> 01:06:33,908
Almost there.

863
01:06:36,577 --> 01:06:39,580
Whoa, Mark, is this
the baby's room? It's beautiful.

864
01:06:39,747 --> 01:06:44,710
Oh, that's hilarious. No, this is where
I keep all my old comics...

865
01:06:44,877 --> 01:06:46,295
...and I wanna show you one.

866
01:06:46,462 --> 01:06:49,757
- You're one of those guys?
- Come here. Take a look.

867
01:06:55,971 --> 01:06:57,431
Is this a pregnant superhero?

868
01:06:58,099 --> 01:07:01,560
I found it in Japan when I was there
with my band. It reminds me of you.

869
01:07:02,061 --> 01:07:03,938
Hells, yeah.

870
01:07:04,105 --> 01:07:07,817
This actually makes me feel
way less of a fat dork.

871
01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:12,947
Well, Yuki is a real badass. You should
be proud to be in the same condition.

872
01:07:14,198 --> 01:07:16,075
Thank you.

873
01:07:16,242 --> 01:07:18,577
- How about some tunage? Tunage.
- Okay, yeah.

874
01:07:18,744 --> 01:07:21,163
All right, don't look, <i>numéro trois.</i>

875
01:07:21,330 --> 01:07:23,290
I'm not looking.

876
01:07:23,457 --> 01:07:26,502
This one is actually kind of slow,
but it's Mott the Hoople...

877
01:07:26,711 --> 01:07:31,215
...so it's still
totally rad and hardcore.

878
01:07:35,136 --> 01:07:36,470
- What?
- I know this one.

879
01:07:36,637 --> 01:07:37,847
- You do?
- Yeah.

880
01:07:38,013 --> 01:07:42,143
This song is older than I am, if you can
believe it. I danced to this at my prom.

881
01:07:43,310 --> 01:07:46,105
- Who'd you dance with?
- Cynthia Vogel.

882
01:07:46,272 --> 01:07:49,275
Great dance partner. She let me
put my hands all over her butt.

883
01:07:49,442 --> 01:07:50,985
- Hot.
- Very hot.

884
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:57,032
I can just totally picture you
dancing like a total dork.

885
01:07:57,533 --> 01:08:01,829
Actually, she put her hands...

886
01:08:02,830 --> 01:08:05,541
...there, and I put my hands
down here.

887
01:08:05,750 --> 01:08:08,127
- This is how we did it in '88.
- Like this?

888
01:08:08,335 --> 01:08:11,338
Just like this. Have you ever
been to a dance before?

889
01:08:11,839 --> 01:08:14,842
Dances are for nerds and squares.

890
01:08:15,009 --> 01:08:16,510
What are you?

891
01:08:16,677 --> 01:08:18,679
I don't know.

892
01:08:19,764 --> 01:08:22,016
Does it feel like there's
something between us?

893
01:08:39,366 --> 01:08:41,494
I'm leaving Vanessa.

894
01:08:44,163 --> 01:08:46,373
- What?
- I'm getting a place in the city.

895
01:08:46,540 --> 01:08:49,376
Got it planned. Something
I've wanted to do for a long time.

896
01:08:49,543 --> 01:08:51,879
- No.
- No?

897
01:08:52,046 --> 01:08:57,092
No, you definitely can't do that.
That's one big fat sack of no.

898
01:08:57,551 --> 01:08:59,720
What is the matter?

899
01:09:00,012 --> 01:09:03,599
I mean, you guys are supposed
to take care of this, you know?

900
01:09:05,059 --> 01:09:07,394
- I thought you'd be cool with this.
- Cool?

901
01:09:07,728 --> 01:09:09,897
I want things to be perfect.

902
01:09:10,064 --> 01:09:14,068
I don't want them to be shitty
and broken like everyone else's family.

903
01:09:14,902 --> 01:09:17,238
Come on.
Look, I'll have the baby...

904
01:09:17,404 --> 01:09:21,242
...and Vanessa's gonna be so happy.
You just...

905
01:09:21,408 --> 01:09:24,912
A baby won't fix everything.
I don't know if I'm ready to be a father.

906
01:09:25,079 --> 01:09:26,747
But you're old.

907
01:09:30,543 --> 01:09:34,421
How do you think of me?
You know, why are you over here?

908
01:09:39,635 --> 01:09:43,430
I just like being a piece of furniture
in your weird life.

909
01:09:43,973 --> 01:09:47,726
This? This is what my life has become.
You know, I got stuff in boxes.

910
01:09:47,893 --> 01:09:50,980
You know, I'm underground.
That's appealing to you?

911
01:09:51,146 --> 01:09:52,231
- Is this my fault?
- No.

912
01:09:52,398 --> 01:09:54,942
Is Vanessa mad at you
because of me or something?

913
01:09:55,109 --> 01:09:57,570
It's got nothing to do with it.
We aren't in love.

914
01:09:57,736 --> 01:09:59,488
You were in love
when you married her.

915
01:09:59,655 --> 01:10:02,157
If you're in love once,
you can be in love again.

916
01:10:02,366 --> 01:10:05,661
Like my friend Leah, who's been
with the same guy like four times.

917
01:10:05,870 --> 01:10:09,331
- You're just not trying hard enough.
- I can't believe what an idiot I am.

918
01:10:09,498 --> 01:10:13,961
No, you know what, Mark?
Just do not divorce your wife.

919
01:10:14,128 --> 01:10:17,965
Will you please just do me a solid
and stay with Vanessa?

920
01:10:19,633 --> 01:10:20,676
You're so young.

921
01:10:20,926 --> 01:10:23,012
I'm not that young. Okay, I'm 16.

922
01:10:23,178 --> 01:10:26,432
I'm old enough to know when
someone's acting like a total a-hole.

923
01:10:26,807 --> 01:10:28,684
Oh, and you know what?

924
01:10:28,893 --> 01:10:33,814
I bought another Sonic Youth album
and it sucks. It's just noise.

925
01:10:38,319 --> 01:10:39,987
Juno? What's going on?

926
01:10:41,113 --> 01:10:42,323
Nothing.

927
01:10:42,823 --> 01:10:44,158
Why are you crying?

928
01:10:44,658 --> 01:10:48,203
I'm not crying. I'm just allergic
to fine home furnishings.

929
01:10:48,412 --> 01:10:51,498
Hold on. What's the matter?
What's the matter?

930
01:10:51,832 --> 01:10:58,047
She's just a little hormonal.
Right, Juno? It's part of the process?

931
01:11:00,925 --> 01:11:02,217
What did you do?

932
01:11:04,470 --> 01:11:05,679
I didn't do anything.

933
01:11:07,222 --> 01:11:08,724
Just...

934
01:11:13,062 --> 01:11:15,230
- I've been thinking.
- What?

935
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:18,817
You know, I'm just thinking
if this is the right thing.

936
01:11:19,568 --> 01:11:21,153
What are you talking about?

937
01:11:22,571 --> 01:11:26,075
Just wondering if it's...
Just wondering if we're ready.

938
01:11:27,034 --> 01:11:28,494
Yeah, we're ready.

939
01:11:28,661 --> 01:11:33,374
We've read the books, we've taken
the classes, we have a nursery that is...

940
01:11:33,540 --> 01:11:38,087
Vanessa, I know we're prepared.
I'm just wondering if...

941
01:11:38,253 --> 01:11:40,839
...I'm ready.

942
01:11:44,551 --> 01:11:47,221
Wait a minute.
Juno, don't listen to him.

943
01:11:47,388 --> 01:11:50,432
He's just got cold feet.
He's just being a guy.

944
01:11:50,599 --> 01:11:54,395
The books all say a woman becomes
a mother when she gets pregnant.

945
01:11:54,561 --> 01:11:57,064
A man becomes a father
when he sees his baby.

946
01:11:58,107 --> 01:12:00,734
He's gonna get there.
He's... He's gonna get there.

947
01:12:00,901 --> 01:12:03,404
It happened so fast.
We put the ad in the paper...

948
01:12:03,570 --> 01:12:06,532
...and I thought it would take months,
if at all...

949
01:12:06,699 --> 01:12:08,534
...then two weeks later,
she's on that couch.

950
01:12:08,701 --> 01:12:09,910
She answered our prayers.

951
01:12:10,077 --> 01:12:13,706
Ever since then,
it's been like a ticking clock.

952
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:18,585
What are you saying?

953
01:12:20,587 --> 01:12:22,881
That it feels a little like
bad timing.

954
01:12:26,510 --> 01:12:29,138
What would be
a good time for you, Mark?

955
01:12:30,723 --> 01:12:32,808
There's just some things
I still wanna do.

956
01:12:33,559 --> 01:12:35,602
Like what? Be a rock star?

957
01:12:36,437 --> 01:12:37,646
Don't mock me.

958
01:12:39,023 --> 01:12:44,028
I'm just saying that this is something
that's never gonna happen.

959
01:12:45,446 --> 01:12:47,031
You know...

960
01:12:47,614 --> 01:12:49,158
Your shirt is stupid.

961
01:12:50,284 --> 01:12:51,493
Grow up.

962
01:12:51,660 --> 01:12:56,123
If I have to wait for you to become Kurt
Cobain, I'm never gonna be a mother.

963
01:13:00,044 --> 01:13:02,463
I never said I'd be a good father.

964
01:15:57,804 --> 01:16:02,100
I called Gerta Rauss and she said
that she can represent both of us.

965
01:16:02,267 --> 01:16:07,147
It's called a collaborative divorce.
It's all the rage right now, supposedly.

966
01:16:07,481 --> 01:16:09,650
It'll be easy because
we don't have children.

967
01:16:10,150 --> 01:16:12,152
Thanks for making the call, I guess.

968
01:16:19,493 --> 01:16:21,286
Have you found a place to stay yet?

969
01:16:21,453 --> 01:16:22,829
Yeah, downtown.

970
01:16:22,996 --> 01:16:24,164
In a hotel?

971
01:16:24,331 --> 01:16:26,250
No, it's not a hotel. It's a loft.

972
01:16:27,751 --> 01:16:29,336
Well, aren't you the cool guy?

973
01:16:34,841 --> 01:16:36,885
I wanted a baby so bad.

974
01:16:37,761 --> 01:16:39,513
I know.

975
01:16:58,991 --> 01:17:01,660
- This looks like a bill from Ju...
- It's for me.

976
01:17:43,618 --> 01:17:45,871
<i>I never realize how much
I like being home...</i>

977
01:17:46,038 --> 01:17:49,249
<i>...unless I've been somewhere
really different for a while.</i>

978
01:17:57,090 --> 01:17:58,216
Hey, Dad.

979
01:17:58,383 --> 01:18:02,262
Hey, big puffy version of Junebug.
Where you been?

980
01:18:02,429 --> 01:18:06,266
Oh, just out dealing with things
way beyond my maturity level.

981
01:18:08,935 --> 01:18:10,729
Where is everybody?

982
01:18:10,896 --> 01:18:13,899
Bren took Liberty Bell
to her tot ice-skating class.

983
01:18:14,858 --> 01:18:17,944
God, when will you guys learn
that tots can't ice-skate?

984
01:18:19,279 --> 01:18:22,616
You look a little morose, honey.
What's eating you?

985
01:18:31,249 --> 01:18:33,960
I'm just, like, losing my faith
with humanity.

986
01:18:34,294 --> 01:18:36,630
Wow, can you
narrow that down for me?

987
01:18:37,964 --> 01:18:41,676
I just wonder if, like...

988
01:18:41,885 --> 01:18:44,304
...two people can
stay together for good.

989
01:18:44,805 --> 01:18:46,098
You mean like couples?

990
01:18:46,264 --> 01:18:49,476
Yeah, like people in love.

991
01:18:50,602 --> 01:18:51,937
Are you having boy trouble?

992
01:18:52,104 --> 01:18:55,941
I gotta be honest, I don't much
approve of you dating in your condition.

993
01:18:56,108 --> 01:18:58,443
- That's kind of messed up.
- No, Dad, it's not...

994
01:18:58,610 --> 01:19:02,697
That's pretty skanky. Isn't that what
you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?

995
01:19:02,906 --> 01:19:05,158
- Please stop.
- Tore up from the floor up?

996
01:19:05,325 --> 01:19:08,453
That's not what it's about.

997
01:19:11,331 --> 01:19:14,876
I just need to know
that it's possible...

998
01:19:15,043 --> 01:19:18,338
...that two people can stay
happy together forever.

999
01:19:19,339 --> 01:19:21,800
Well, it's not easy. That's for sure.

1000
01:19:21,967 --> 01:19:26,221
And I don't have the best
track record in the world, I know.

1001
01:19:26,430 --> 01:19:29,307
But I've been with your stepmother
for 10 years now...

1002
01:19:29,474 --> 01:19:32,018
...and I'm proud to say
we're very happy.

1003
01:19:33,019 --> 01:19:34,229
Look...

1004
01:19:35,063 --> 01:19:38,692
...in my opinion,
the best thing you can do...

1005
01:19:38,859 --> 01:19:43,530
...is find a person who loves you
for exactly what you are.

1006
01:19:44,531 --> 01:19:48,160
Good mood, bad mood,
ugly, pretty...

1007
01:19:48,326 --> 01:19:51,371
...handsome, what have you.

1008
01:19:51,538 --> 01:19:55,167
The right person's still gonna think
the sun shines out of your ass.

1009
01:19:57,711 --> 01:20:00,380
That's the kind of person
that's worth sticking with.

1010
01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:02,507
Yeah.

1011
01:20:05,844 --> 01:20:08,263
Yeah, and I think
I've found that person.

1012
01:20:08,472 --> 01:20:10,557
Yeah, sure you have.
Your dear old D-A-D.

1013
01:20:11,850 --> 01:20:14,060
I'll always be there
to love and support you...

1014
01:20:14,227 --> 01:20:16,521
...no matter what kind of pickle
you're in.

1015
01:20:17,063 --> 01:20:18,398
Obviously.

1016
01:20:23,528 --> 01:20:26,740
Dad, I think I'm just gonna,
like, shove out for a sec.

1017
01:20:26,907 --> 01:20:30,619
- But I won't be home late.
- Okay.

1018
01:20:31,411 --> 01:20:33,079
You were talking about me, right?

1019
01:20:34,122 --> 01:20:35,582
Oh, yeah.

1020
01:20:46,301 --> 01:20:48,386
Tic tac-aholic.

1021
01:21:32,138 --> 01:21:33,640
H i.

1022
01:21:34,349 --> 01:21:37,602
Hey, did you put like a hundred things
of tic tacs in my mailbox?

1023
01:21:37,978 --> 01:21:39,813
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was me.

1024
01:21:40,480 --> 01:21:43,191
- Why?
- Well, you know, they're your fave.

1025
01:21:43,358 --> 01:21:48,196
And you can never have too many of
your favorite one-calorie breath mint.

1026
01:21:48,363 --> 01:21:53,118
Well, thanks. I think I'm pretty much set
until college on the tic tac front.

1027
01:21:54,160 --> 01:21:55,829
You know, Bleek, I was thinking.

1028
01:21:55,996 --> 01:22:00,166
And I'm sorry I was such a huge bitch
to you. You don't deserve it.

1029
01:22:00,834 --> 01:22:03,295
It's okay. You know, it's okay.

1030
01:22:03,712 --> 01:22:05,672
And also...

1031
01:22:08,174 --> 01:22:09,968
...I think I'm in love with you.

1032
01:22:11,970 --> 01:22:13,597
You mean as friends?

1033
01:22:14,014 --> 01:22:17,684
No. I mean for real.

1034
01:22:17,851 --> 01:22:21,813
Because you're, like,
the coolest person I've ever met...

1035
01:22:21,980 --> 01:22:24,899
...and you don't even have to try,
you know.

1036
01:22:26,234 --> 01:22:27,902
I try really hard, actually.

1037
01:22:28,111 --> 01:22:32,324
You're, like, naturally smart.
And you're not like everyone else.

1038
01:22:32,490 --> 01:22:35,160
You don't stare at my stomach.
You look at my face.

1039
01:22:35,327 --> 01:22:38,538
And every time I see you...

1040
01:22:39,331 --> 01:22:41,625
...the baby starts kicking
super-hard.

1041
01:22:42,167 --> 01:22:43,209
It does?

1042
01:22:53,178 --> 01:22:55,013
Wizard.

1043
01:22:56,014 --> 01:22:59,434
I think it's because my heart starts
pounding every time I see you.

1044
01:23:00,143 --> 01:23:01,853
Mine too.

1045
01:23:03,938 --> 01:23:07,192
Well, that's all I could ask for.

1046
01:23:08,902 --> 01:23:10,737
You're golden, man.

1047
01:23:13,073 --> 01:23:14,574
Can we make out now?

1048
01:23:16,242 --> 01:23:17,243
Yeah.

1049
01:23:30,215 --> 01:23:34,260
Hey, you know, you can go into
early labor sucking face like that.

1050
01:23:57,951 --> 01:23:58,952
Dad?

1051
01:24:00,078 --> 01:24:01,246
What?

1052
01:24:01,621 --> 01:24:03,748
Dad, either I just
peed my pants or...

1053
01:24:05,333 --> 01:24:06,418
Or...?

1054
01:24:07,419 --> 01:24:09,129
Thundercats are go!

1055
01:24:09,295 --> 01:24:11,464
Fall out! Fall out! You okay?

1056
01:24:11,631 --> 01:24:13,258
- The admittance forms?
- Got them.

1057
01:24:13,425 --> 01:24:15,844
- Parking stickers?
- Got them. You got Liberty Bell?

1058
01:24:16,010 --> 01:24:19,264
Oh, Liberty Bell.
Oh, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie.

1059
01:24:19,431 --> 01:24:23,643
Come on, baby. Here, little baby.
Yeah. Here we go.

1060
01:24:25,770 --> 01:24:27,355
All right, go.

1061
01:24:27,522 --> 01:24:29,149
Gas!

1062
01:24:29,941 --> 01:24:31,484
Gas!

1063
01:24:32,819 --> 01:24:35,029
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Out of the way.

1064
01:24:35,238 --> 01:24:36,614
Out of the way. Hold on.

1065
01:24:36,781 --> 01:24:40,326
Leah, stop it. For God's sakes,
stop it. Don't do that.

1066
01:24:40,493 --> 01:24:43,538
- What? But it's fun.
- Don't. You're making it...

1067
01:24:45,290 --> 01:24:47,542
When do I get that frigging
spinal-tap thing?

1068
01:24:47,751 --> 01:24:50,378
It's a spinal block,
and you can't have it yet, honey.

1069
01:24:50,545 --> 01:24:52,839
The doctor said
you're not dilated enough.

1070
01:24:53,006 --> 01:24:55,341
Oh, come on. I mean, it's like...

1071
01:24:55,508 --> 01:24:58,970
I have to wait for it to get worse?
Why can't I have the thing now?

1072
01:24:59,137 --> 01:25:02,849
Doctors are sadists who like to play God
and watch lesser people scream.

1073
01:25:03,349 --> 01:25:05,185
Oh, shit.

1074
01:25:05,351 --> 01:25:09,063
Excuse me. Hey, can we give my kid
the damn spinal tap already?

1075
01:25:09,272 --> 01:25:10,857
<i>...breath and push. That's good.</i>

1076
01:25:11,024 --> 01:25:13,359
Push. Keep pushing.
Come on, Juno, keep pushing.

1077
01:25:13,526 --> 01:25:15,653
Keep pushing, keep pushing.

1078
01:25:39,052 --> 01:25:44,891
<i>And then, out of nowhere,
there it was.</i>

1079
01:25:45,391 --> 01:25:47,894
<i>There he was.</i>

1080
01:25:53,066 --> 01:25:56,361
<i>I decided not to call Bleeker
to tell him I was having the baby.</i>

1081
01:25:56,528 --> 01:25:58,696
<i>He had a big meet
against Manteno...</i>

1082
01:25:58,863 --> 01:26:01,908
<i>...and I didn't want him to get
all worried about me.</i>

1083
01:26:02,408 --> 01:26:06,037
<i>Paulie Bleeker has just broken
a district record in the 800.</i>

1084
01:26:06,204 --> 01:26:08,706
<i>But he figured it out anyway.</i>

1085
01:26:25,431 --> 01:26:28,226
Someday
you'll be back here, honey.

1086
01:26:29,769 --> 01:26:31,771
On your terms.

1087
01:26:43,241 --> 01:26:44,951
Hey.

1088
01:26:45,118 --> 01:26:46,870
Nice legs.

1089
01:27:28,661 --> 01:27:31,998
<i>Bleeker decided he didn't want
to see the baby.</i>

1090
01:27:32,624 --> 01:27:36,794
<i>Neither did I, really.
He didn't feel like ours.</i>

1091
01:27:42,842 --> 01:27:45,345
<i>I think he was always hers.</i>

1092
01:27:49,641 --> 01:27:51,351
Would you like to meet your son?

1093
01:27:52,977 --> 01:27:54,187
I have a son.

1094
01:27:56,481 --> 01:27:59,859
Oh, look at you.
I'm waking you up.

1095
01:28:09,369 --> 01:28:11,245
H i.

1096
01:28:13,206 --> 01:28:15,041
I'm gonna...

1097
01:28:20,380 --> 01:28:21,547
Is this...? Am I...?

1098
01:28:23,383 --> 01:28:24,759
How do I look?

1099
01:28:25,885 --> 01:28:29,555
Like a new mom. Scared shitless.

1100
01:28:54,372 --> 01:28:56,582
<i>It ended with a chair.</i>

1101
01:29:52,805 --> 01:29:56,768
<i>As boyfriends go,
Paulie Bleeker is totally boss.</i>

1102
01:29:56,934 --> 01:29:59,812
<i>He is the cheese to my macaroni.</i>

1103
01:30:00,688 --> 01:30:04,692
<i>And I know people are supposed
to fall in love before they reproduce...</i>

1104
01:30:04,859 --> 01:30:07,820
<i>...but I guess normalcy
isn't really our style.</i>

1105
01:30:13,618 --> 01:30:16,454
- Hey.
- Hey.

1106
01:30:20,833 --> 01:30:23,503
- Ready?
- Yeah.

1107
01:30:35,348 --> 01:30:38,518
<i>You're a part-time lover
And a full-time friend</i>

1108
01:30:38,684 --> 01:30:41,854
<i>The monkey on your back
Is the latest trend</i>

1109
01:30:42,021 --> 01:30:46,526
<i>Don't see what anyone can see
In anyone else</i>

1110
01:30:47,693 --> 01:30:48,903
<i>But you</i>

1111
01:30:49,112 --> 01:30:51,656
<i>Here is the church
And here is the steeple</i>

1112
01:30:51,823 --> 01:30:55,034
<i>We sure are cute
For two ugly people</i>

1113
01:30:55,201 --> 01:31:00,331
<i>Don't see what anyone can see
In anyone else</i>

1114
01:31:00,915 --> 01:31:01,999
<i>But you</i>

1115
01:31:02,166 --> 01:31:04,710
<i>We both have shiny
Happy fits of rage</i>

1116
01:31:04,877 --> 01:31:08,214
<i>I want more fans
You want more stage</i>

1117
01:31:08,381 --> 01:31:13,219
<i>Don't see what anyone can see
In anyone else</i>

1118
01:31:14,178 --> 01:31:15,221
<i>But you</i>

1119
01:31:15,388 --> 01:31:18,057
<i>You're always trying to keep it real</i>

1120
01:31:18,224 --> 01:31:21,394
<i>And I'm in love with how you feel</i>

1121
01:31:21,561 --> 01:31:26,899
<i>I don't see what anyone can see
In anyone else</i>

1122
01:31:27,400 --> 01:31:28,442
<i>But you</i>

1123
01:31:28,651 --> 01:31:31,279
<i>I kiss you on the brain
In the shadow of a train</i>

1124
01:31:31,445 --> 01:31:34,574
<i>I kiss you all starry-eyed
My body's swinging from side to side</i>

1125
01:31:34,740 --> 01:31:39,287
<i>I don't see what anyone can see
In anyone else</i>

1126
01:31:40,746 --> 01:31:41,747
<i>But you</i>

1127
01:31:41,914 --> 01:31:44,584
<i>The pebbles forgive me
The trees forgive me</i>

1128
01:31:44,750 --> 01:31:47,920
<i>So why can't you forgive me?</i>

1129
01:31:48,087 --> 01:31:53,301
<i>I don't see what anyone can see
In anyone else</i>

1130
01:31:54,093 --> 01:31:56,095
<i>But you</i>

1131
01:32:01,184 --> 01:32:03,769
<i>- I don't see what anyone can see
- I don't see what anyone can see</i>

1132
01:32:03,936 --> 01:32:06,480
<i>- In anyone else
- In anyone else</i>

1133
01:32:07,398 --> 01:32:09,942
<i>- But you
- But you</i>