Thank you.
I wish they all could be California girls
- The Beach Boys are dope. -I love Beach Boys.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, ladies, how you doing?
Wait a minute.
Hey, where you going? Let's get some sushi!
Hey! Hey, cutie!
Ah.
I wish they all could--
Hey, hey, he)”
That was my CD.
Don't you ever touch a Chinese man's CD.
See the way those girls drove off?
They was laughing at us.
Those girls drove off because of you.
All I did was invite them to have a drink.
You invited them to get naked and sacrifice a small goat.
Which word was goat?
You owe me a copy of the Beach Boys' greatest hits.
Don't be getting no attitude with me.
I been here three days. We done nothing but work your cases.
Only reason I'm here in Hong Kong is you said...
...you was gonna show me a good time.
I'm on vacation, man, and I want some mu sh...
Mu shu? You hungry?
No, Lee, not mu shu.
Some mu shu. I wanna see some women, man.
Stop playing dumb and show me to the shu.
What was that?
Did you just take another damn case on my vacation, man?
Of course not. My superintendent invited us to a club.
- Big party tonight. -Don't be messing with me, Lee.
I will slap you so hard, you'll end up in the Ming dynasty.
I mean it, man. I'll bitch-slap you back to Bangkok.
- Big party? -Big one.
Okay, well, let's go party then.
Hey, this is nice. Hey, cutie.
They don't like tourists in here, so try to blend in.
What, blend in? I'm 2 feet taller than everybody in here.
Wait here.
- Where you going? -Bathroom.
Well, hurry back, man, because we're gonna party.
Party!
Ooh
Love
How you doing?
Come here a lot?
It's a nice place.
Take us through the hours
I won't make you, baby
What in the world is going on up in here?
Am I the only one listening to this?
The man destroying a classic!
To the force don't stop
Don't stop till you get enough
Keep on to the force don't stop
Don't stop till you get enough
Boo!
Till the force don't stop
Don't stop till you get enough
Keep on
I can't take no more of this.
Get closer
Oh, get closer
I'm burnin' now
Just love me
Till you don't know how
Keep on to the force, don't stop
Don't stop till you get enough
Keep on till the force starts up
Ah, don't stop till you get enough
Keep on till the force starts up
Oh, come on, girls!
Come on, till the force starts up
Ah, don't stop till you
Come on! Come on!
Ow!
Come here, girls
Don't stop till you--
Come on, girl!
I can't believe it
Come on, come OH, come on.
Don't stop, come on.
You know you feel the force!
Oh, whoa Don't stop till you get enough
I feel the force!
- Carter! -Come on!
- Come on! -Carter!
- Come on, Lee! -Carter!
- Come on! Come on! -Carter!
Come on!
I'll be right back
Lee, these people love me, man. Come on out here.
Get off the stage.
Are you crazy, man? I'm a star!
I'm a god to these people. Come check this out.
This is a gangster bar. We are here undercover.
I knew you was lying. I knew you was lying, man.
I'm sorry, Carter.
- You a liar! -We are here to find Ricky Tan.
We must tread softly.
Tread softly? What in the world you talking about?
Who taught you how to roust a bar? Tread softly.
These men are Triads, the most deadly gang in China.
You think that scare me?
I'm from Los Angeles. We invented gangs.
- Give me that badge. I'll show you-- -No. You are civilian!
In Hong Kong, I'm Michael Jackson! You are Toto!
You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate last night for dinner.
- Now give me that badge. Give it. -No!
Okay, listen up!
Right now!
What did I just say?
You just asked everybody...
...to pick up their samurai swords and shave your butt.
- I said that? - Yes.
Come out here and translate this for me.
All right, listen up!
All the Triads and the ugly women on this side...
...and all the fine women on this side right now!
Translate it.
Y'all gonna act like y'all don't hear what I'm saying.
All right, who in here know Ricky Tan?
Raise your hand.
Translate.
I see what's going on here.
Okay.
I ain't got time to be playing no games now.
- I’m taking-- - Hu Li!
- Wait. - Hey, Lee!
Out of the Way! L.A.P.D.!
Lee! Hold up!
Aw, hell no. Uh-uh.
Lee, I'm taking the stairs!
Carter!
Over here!
- Lee! - Help me!
How you get down there?
Hurry UP!
Hold on!
Don't let go, man.
- Here. -Watch out! Behind you!
- Huh? -Behind you!
What?
Who the hell was that?
Lord Jesus, I don't wanna die!
Lee, help me, man!
Don't worry. Chinese bamboo is very strong.
- You sure, man? -I’m sure.
Lee!
Let go! Let go!
I can't believe I flew 10,000 miles for this shit!
I can't believe you lied to me, man.
- I’m sorry. -You're sorry?
I got somebody's old chopsticks stuck up my ass...
...all you gotta say to me is you sorry?
- There was an explosion. -I don't give a damn!
At the American embassy. Two Americans were killed.
So you think this guy Ricky Tan blew up the embassy?
I don't know.
Why the hell are you looking for him then?
- We're gonna find out. -No, you gonna find out, man.
There's two billion Chinese people here. Let one of them be your partner.
- Where the hell we at now? -Massage parlor.
Heaven on Earth.
Now, this is more like it.
I'm about to go in here and get a massage...
...and a hot tea bath right now.
Just follow my lead. Act like a tourist.
I am a tourist, fool.
Hey! Slow down, Chen! Hell is wrong with you?
- Yeah. -My American friend is on vacation.
I wanna show him a good time.
Oh, you American.
- Yeah. -You bring American money?
- I got it, Lee. -No.
- I got it. -You sure?
I'm sure.
- Thank you. -You're welcome.
Right this way, gentlemen.
Are you ready?
You ready?
I'm ready.
Oh, my goodness!
This place is off the hook! I love Hong Kong.
You get massage from Chinese girl before?
No, but I heard it was the bomb.
Come with me.
You pick any girl for you and your friend.
- Any girl? -Any girl.
Okay.
I don't know where to start.
- I’ll take that one. She got to come. - Oh, yes, she's very nice.
She is nice, but I hurt my back and my neck...
...I need a little bit more massage.
So I'm gonna take her in the pink too.
Oh, yes.
Let me get her. Hey, baby.
And then let me have her. Can I get her too?
And her right there. She good with feet?
- Oh, yes. -What are you doing?
She said I could have any girl I want in here. Wait.
Well, hurry up!
Man, you don’t jump in front of a black man in a buffet line.
Calm down!
- I have to-- -Your friend has big appetite.
Please, follow her upstairs into the quiet room.
It ain't gonna be no quiet room no more.
And a--
Oh.
Y'all don't know how good this feels.
I got in a big fight last night with the Triads.
Ever heard of the Triads? I beat down like 20 of them.
Y'all should've seen me, it was on. Oh.
- Lee.Lee. -Yeah?
This is what I'm talking about, man.
Now I'm on vacation.
I knew you'd come through. I just knew it.
America?
Wanna come to America with me?
Ever been to America?
Lee, how's your girl?
- Lee, what's wrong? -That's Ricky Tan.
That's Ricky Tan?
That's a midget in a bathrobe!
I will call for backup.
Lee, the man is 4 feet tall. Let's go bust him right now.
- No. - No?
He's a very dangerous man.
I'm a very dangerous man.
Now, look, let's go over there and bust him, man.
You're not about to mess up my massage.
- Stay here. -You don't need backup.
I got your back--
Excuse me for a minute. Just for a minute.
I'll be back. Don't--
I'll be back.
Ricky?
Ricky Tan?
Get up, dog. I've been looking for you everywhere.
I'm busy at the moment.
Did you hear what I said? I'm busy too. Now get on your feet.
Get up! Get on your feet!
I know you.
You are Lee's American friend, right?
No. I'm Lee's new muscle. And don't let this robe fool you.
This is the only color they had left. Now I said, get up.
I ain't gonna say it again.
You American are so funny.
And you Asians don't hear that well.
Little Ricky.
Get your little punk ass up...
...out of that chair right now!
You're messing up my vacation. Now, I told you to get up, didn't I?
- Now I gotta go off on you. -No.
Let me bust his ass.
Let me take care of this.
Look, little man. You coming with--
Oh, my Lord.
I would like to pay you for that laptop. I think I should do that.
- No problem. -I can get you a new one.
Seen it on the internet with DVD player.
- That's an old model. -Now, I must excuse myself.
Inspector.
Have a good day.
I was...
Lee, why didn't you tell me this man rolls like this?
- I told you! -You didn't!
- I did. -What you said?
- I did this: -What do this...mean, man?
- Speak English to me! -That means I go this way...
...you, this way. -I go that way, you, this way?
- Yes. -Okay.
- Unh! -Sorry, man.
- Carter! -All y'all look alike!
Watch out!
Carter!
Lee!
- Oh! - No wonder you mad.
Don't worry. It's okay.
You better get the hell out of here.
Lee!
- Flip me! -What?
Flip me!
Damn!
Lee!
Whoa!
No, no, no! No!
- Lee! -Watch out!
Lee!
No, no. Look, you've been ordered by the Ministry of Public Security...
...to assist the FBI and Secret Service in our investigation...
...to provide us with whatever we need.
You have information, it belongs to us.
This is still Hong Kong.
Two Americans have been killed on United States government property.
Give me two copies of that.
This is our investigation.
Chief Inspector Lee will supervise your people.
No, he will report to me. Do we understand each other?
What the hell is that?
That is, uh, Chief Inspector Lee.
Ain't never been humiliated and embarrassed like that...
...in my whole entire life.
Got me running around Hong Kong butt-naked, thanks to you.
- Thanks to me? -Yeah, thanks to you.
You needed backup, so I gave you backup.
I was about to kick Ricky Tan's ass, and his bodyguards'...
...till you messed it up. -Stop.
- I’m sick of your bullshit. -I’m sick of you!
I'm not the one running up in karaoke bars full of gangsters.
I'm not the one running up in massage parlors looking for crime lords.
- It's my job. -It's your job.
You pitiful, man. When are you gonna have some fun?
When are you gonna take a day off? Go on a date or something?
- I have plenty of dates. -When?
When's the last time you had a date, huh?
When's the last time you played Hide the Rainbow Roll, huh?
Let's hear it, Lee. The year of the rat?
You will never understand me.
You right. I didn't even understand what you just said to me right then.
They got my passport back at that massage parlor.
Good afternoon, sir.
- Lee. -Yes, sir.
This is Special Agent Sterling from the United States Secret Service.
Secret Service? Why?
Have a seat, please.
What I'm about to tell you cannot leave this room.
The men who were killed yesterday were not American translators.
They were undercover United States customs agents...
...trying to break a Triad smuggling ring.
- Smuggling what? -We don't know.
But whatever it is, it got the agents killed.
How can we help you?
You can stay the hell out of our way.
Thank you.
I can get you Ricky Tan.
No. We know all about Tan.
That's why we're leaving him out there as bait.
This is a lot bigger than Ricky Tan and the Fu Cang Long Triads.
Hey, cutie.
Thank you, Lee.
Carter! Carter!
Uh, Heaven on Earth massage parlor?
Heaven on Earth?
Hello. Cheap suits.
Hello. Cheap suits. Cheap suits.
Cheap suits. Cheap suits.
- How cheap? -Cheap suits.
Cheap as hell?
Excuse me.
Can you direct me...
...to Heaven on Earth massage parlor, please?
- Hello. How are you? -Okay.
No, no. Wait a minute.
No. I don't want no chicken.
No, no, no. Aah!
No! I don't want no chicken. What am I gonna do with a chicken?
I don't like my chickens live, okay?
I like them dead and deep-fried. You ever heard of Popeye's?
No, no! No!
Heh. Don't kill chicken.
- Oh. -Yes.
Aah! I'm warning you.
I'm a police officer. Put the blade down and let the bird go right now!
You okay, Lee?
All he wanted was some mu shu.
Damn.
Hey, taxi! Taxi!
Hey! Hey!
Follow that car.
Hey, follow that limo. This is a chase, okay?
Wherever he goes, you go.
You're not moving! This is the opposite of chasing!
What? I will slap you if you don't move this car.
I'm gonna slap you. I'm gonna slap you.
Okay. All right. Okay, look.
Here. You understand that?
Now you're speaking my language.
Get the hell on then. Come on, Let's go!
This right here, tell you what
Goes out to everyone
That has lost someone
That they truly loved Check it out
Seems like yesterday We used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin' On the block for dough
Notorious, they got to know that
Life ain't always what it seem to be
Words can't express What you mean to me
Even though you're gone We still a team
Through your family I'll fulfill your dreams
In the future, can't wait to see If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime The night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
Wait right here. I'll be right back.
- You understand? -Yes, I understand.
- And don't eat my chicken, okay? -Okay, okay.
-Okay. -Okay.
Jesus.
Hey! Hey!
How you doing, baby?
Carter. James Carter. Baldwin hills.
Isabella Molina. From San Juan.
- San Juan? - Mm-hm.
I know San Juan. I've traveled there many times on my private plane.
You must know my good friend...
...Pedro Morales Magonzales Marato Molaso Mondustos.
- I don't think so, no. -You sure?
- Mm-hm. -Well, I'm sorry.
I thought you rode in the best of circles.
But listen, make yourself feel at home.
You need anything, champagne, caviar...
...my yacht is your yacht.
This is your yacht?
That's right. I'm the owner.
The captain.
Yes. Listen.
I'm not gonna play games with you. I want you, right now.
I see me and you downstairs in one of those bathrooms...
...in about five minutes.
Well, I'm very tempted. It's such a beautiful yacht.
What's it called?
- What's it called? -Mm-hm. Your yacht.
The S.S. Minnow Johnson.
- The S.S. Minnow Johnson? Noah.
Funny. The name on the back was the Red Dragon.
The Red Dragon? Are you sure'?
Oh, I'm sure.
Because this is my friend's yacht.
- Your friend's yacht? -And this is his party.
I must've got on the wrong yacht.
All these yachts look just alike these days.
I knew something was wrong when my key didn't work.
- Who's your friend? -Somebody who got on the wrong yacht.
Hey, wait a second. I know you. Steven Reign, right?
You own half of Los Angeles. What you doing out here in Hong Kong?
I'm here for the weekend, taking in the sights.
You must have your own plane too. It's fun, ain't it?
- Shall we? -Yes.
Well, enjoy the party, Mr. Carter.
I plan to, Miss Isabella.
See you later, Stevie. Be cool.
Ricky Tan. Where is he?
I don't know!
He killed a detective today. Where is he?
Who got killed, man?
- Carter! -Who died, Lee?
- You! -Detective Yu?
Not Yu, you!
-Who? -You!
Who?
Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
Don't nobody understand the words that are coming out of your mouth, man.
Ricky Tan is waiting for you.
What the hell is going on here, Lee?
Remember I told you my father was a policeman?
- Yeah. -Ricky Tan was his partner.
What?
Lee, I've been expecting you.
Please ask your partner to wait inside.
- Hell, no. I ain't going nowhere. -It's okay.
- I’m not leaving you alone, Lee. - I’ll be fine.
- You sure? -Yes.
I'll be right upstairs.
I know what everybody's saying.
I did not blow up the American embassy.
I'm not that stupid.
But I believe some of my people did.
My enemies are trying to frame me.
There is a war going on right now within the Triads.
I'm afraid I'm gonna lose this time.
If your father were still alive, I would turn to him for advice.
Please don't.
Lee, I really need your help. I cannot trust anybody else.
Tell me why they killed the customs agents.
I'll give you all the information you need.
But you've gotta get me out of Hong Kong right away.
Hey, lady, what are you doing?
Get down. I'm L.A.P.D.
You just kick me?
You must be out of your mind!
You want some of me?
I'm gonna give you an L.A.P.D. ass-kicking!
- You okay? -Yeah.
I slipped and I fell.
- Hey. -What?
Am I bleeding?
Quite a night, inspector.
Ricky Tan was our only bait. Now he's gone.
So you got your revenge.
At the expense of a United States government investigation.
Revenge? What are you talking about, revenge?
Now, I don't know if the Triads paid you to get rid of Tan...
...or if it was a pure vendetta killing...
...or if you're involved in the smuggling yourself.
But you're off this case.
I don't ever wanna see you again. ls that clear?
- Hey, what's going on here? -Carter, you're in enough trouble.
Just shut up.
Stay out of it.
You're going back to L.A. right now.
Hey, that's fine with me, man. I ain't had fun since I been out here.
Okay.
Sorry, Lee.
- Escort Detective Carter to the airport. -No.
I'll take him.
Get your hands off!
Carter, you don't understand.
Oh, I understand all right.
I got knocked off a building, I got beat on...
...I got stripped butt-naked, and you held out on me, man.
I'm out of here.
Carter, Ricky Tan set up my father.
What?
Five years ago, my father was working a big international smuggling case.
He found out his partner, Tan, was working for the Triads.
But before he could prove it, he was killed.
All the evidence disappeared.
Tan resigned, and the case was never solved.
So I get it now. This is all about your daddy's last case.
So you getting on the plane with me or not'?
What?
You know my daddy died on the job too.
If I had a chance to square his death, I'd do whatever it took.
I'd do anything.
So you coming or what?
Why L.A.'?
Lee, let me introduce you...
...to Carter's theory of criminal investigation:
Follow the rich white man.
- Follow the rich white man? -Exactly. Now you're learning.
Every big crime has a rich white man behind it...
...waiting for his cut.
Now, in our case, we know who the rich white man is.
- Steven Reign. -Who?
Steven Reign, the hotel billionaire. I saw him on Ricky Tan's boat.
When the shooting started, he was way too cool.
When people start shooting, white people ain't that cool.
They either running around, hiding behind tables...
...or screaming like, "Aah!"
- Shh. - You sound like that all the time.
Tell you something about black people.
When stuff goes down, we keep our cool.
Maybe, but not like Asians. We never panic.
Yeah, right. When Godzilla's coming, y'all be tripping.
I seen the movie.
- You be, "Gaica, gaica!" - Carter.
- Yelling everywhere. -Just--
Mr. Carter, excuse me.
Thank you so much.
- It's the kosher meal? -Yes, sir, our kosher meal.
Shalom.
There he is. Mr. Steven Reign.
Living large in one of his penthouse suites.
Oh, guess who this is. Yep, that's her.
That's the woman that was on Ricky Tan's boat, right there.
We got them.
Told you it'd work out. Know what I'm talking about.
All we gotta do now is wait.
- They still talking? -Mm-hm.
He's leaving.
- He'll be back. -How do you know?
I know. You see how fine that woman is?
He'll definitely be back.
What's she doing?
Huh?
What's she doing, man?
She's just standing around, not doing much.
Well, just don't fall asleep.
Sooner or later, something's gonna happen.
Okay, I just try to stay awake. It's just so boring.
Ah. Slow down, baby.
What?
Huh? Nothing. I said nothing.
- You said something. -I said nothing.
- I heard you say something. -No, no, no. Nothing.
Lee, what's going on, man? What you talking about?
- She's getting undressed. -What?
- She's getting undressed. -Give me that.
No!
It's not right!
- Lord, have mercy! - What?
- She took her skirt off. -Oh, I cannot hear this.
Black panties, black bra.
Victoria's Secret, spring catalog, page 27.
Girl got class.
Let me look a little closer.
Oh, look at that. Got a little tattoo. That's cute.
Looks like Snoopy.
- Snoopy? -Yeah.
- I love Snoopy. -Wait. I love Snoopy too.
Let me look at this thing.
Hold up. Wait a minute.
She's going to the door. Wait. She's going to the door.
She's opening the door.
Look like somebody dropping off a package.
Wait a minute.
Look like the same girl who dropped off the package at your office.
- It's a bomb! -Bomb!
Watch out! Watch out!
It's this one right here, I think. Hey, you got a bomb in there!
Open the door!
Kick the door.
- What the he--? - No, no, no!
- Damn, you fine. - Carter!
- Come on, Lee! Come on! -Where? Where?
- Don't drop it! Come on, this way! -Where should we go?
Roof! Roof!
Don't trip! Be careful!
- Throw it, Lee! - Where?
- Throw it! - Where?
Throw the bomb over the edge! Throw it.
Throw it! Throw it over the edge!
- There's people down there! - Throw it!
- Carter! Carter! -Lee!
- Lee! -Carter!
- Throw it! -No!
We about to die!
Okay, get on your feet.
- Enough! -Put that down!
- It's a bomb! hey! -Put that down!
Guys, no bomb. Nothing.
Now stay away before I throw you both in jail for obstruction.
Throw us in jail?
You must be out of your mind. I'm about to bust you right now.
I'm an undercover agent for the United States Secret Service.
How do we know that? Show me a badge.
Here you go.
Let me see that again. I didn't get a good look at that.
We can help you. I'm a detective from Hong Kong.
I know who you are, Inspector Lee. I know.
We need to go out of sight.
So come down to my suite.
- Now why did you say it was a bomb? -No, you said that.
- No, you said it. -You said that in the hotel room.
I said she was the bomb.
She was the bomb?
Now, look, I've been working this case for months now.
- So if I seem aggravated, I apologize. -You need to tell us what's going on.
The Triads and Reign, they think I'm a crooked customs agent.
Is that a payoff?
No. That's a sample.
You guys ever heard of the Superbill?
Yeah. It's a myth. Some kind of counterfeit.
Honey, it's much more than a counterfeit.
Fourteen out of 15 world banks can't even tell the difference.
The paper is Crane linen blend...
...and the bills are printed on U.S. intaglio presses.
Tell us how they get into the U.S. mint to use the presses.
In 1959, the United States was very friendly with the shah of Iran.
Why? Because we wanted his oil.
Our government gave him a gift.
A U.S. treasury intaglio printing press.
Now, it's the only one to ever leave the country.
Five years ago, Ricky bought the press on the black market.
- Five years ago? - Mm-hm.
- That's right before he left the force. -Earlier this year, Ricky Tan got ahold...
...of Swiss-made hundred dollar plates...
...and he started printing Superbills.
That's why Hu Li killed him. For the plates.
And they've printed and shipped $100 million.
There's only one way to spot a fake.
They use an optical transfer ink from India that burns red.
You see? Now, the real ink, it burns black.
So, what in the hell they gonna do with a hundred million of phony money?
You know, Carter, I believe you're asking the wrong question.
The real question is where are the plates?
If we can find the plates, we can stop the whole operation.
- Right? -Yeah, you're right.
Maybe this is where you can help us, guys.
Yeah. I mean, Carter, this is your city, right?
Yeah, this is my titty-- I mean, this is my city.
Great.
And Lee, you know Hu Li and the Triads, correct?
- Yes. - Great.
So can you do me a favor?
Can you find out where Hu Li's keeping the plates?
- That ain't no problem. - Thank you.
So welcome aboard, gentlemen.
From this moment on, you're officially working...
...for the United States Secret Service.
Secret Service agent James Carter.
Aw, that sounds good. It's got a nice ring to it, don't it?
I'm telling you, give me six months. Six months.
I'm gonna be in Washington, D.C. protecting the president.
We both know you would never take a bullet for someone else.
Yeah, but they don't know that.
I'm gonna talk to Isabella, see if she can hook something up.
Seeing the way she was staring at a brother.
She never even looked at you.
Just jealous, Lee, because the girl chose me.
Because I'm tall, dark and handsome. And you Third World ugly.
I'm not Third World ugly. Women like me.
They think I'm cute, like Snoopy.
Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.
- Sterling. - Lee and Carter are officially...
...out of the Secret Service's way.
Correct.
This is my informant's place.
They got pretty good ribs here too.
I like kosher.
Hey. Hey, wait.
Oh, I know I don't think I see what I see what I'm thinking!
I know good and well y'all ain't gambling back here!
This is supposed to be a Chinese restaurant!
What you doing in here, James?
You about to go to jail. You about to go to jail, and all your little friends.
Pack up your stuff!
- Let's go! -All right.
- Let's talk outside. -You wanna talk outside?
- Yes. -Let's go then. You wanna talk.
As long as you wanna talk.
Where you get that from? I like that.
That's good. What's up, Kenny?
- James Carter. -What's up?
I heard you was getting your ass kicked out there in Hong Kong.
- What? -That's right.
- You crazy. Who told you that? -I got my sources.
- Don't you worry about that. -They telling you lies.
I'm about to bust you if you don't give me some information.
How you gonna come up here and jam me up like this, James? Huh?
You embarrass me in front of my wife, my kids out there.
Kenny, you embarrassing yourself.
You a black man with a Chinese restaurant on Crenshaw.
You come up in here, you ain't show me no badge.
You ain't even flashed a warrant.
Know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna whup your ass.
And then I'm gonna whup your ass.
Kenny, we'd love to see that. We would want--
- Come on, Kenny! Come on, Kenny! -Come on!
- Do it! - I’ll shoot, say you fell in the kitchen.
- Come on! -You better chill out, boy.
- Kenny, calm down! -Hey , what--?
Kenny!
Twisting tiger.
Where did you learn that?
They're brothers.
Oh, all right, all right.
7-11?
Hey! I heard that. I heard that.
Don't be talking about me, man.
You are here about some funny money.
How you know?
- C-notes, right? -Yeah. Any of them came through here?
One of my regulars came in here a few days ago...
...dropped about 50 large on the tables in there.
I was about to go down there with my boys and tune his ass up.
But he comes in the next day with the whole thing.
Brand-new 100-dollar bills, sequential.
I figure they're fake because this guy's got a regular day job.
So I test them, and they checked out.
You still have the bills?
Still got my lunch money from the third grade.
Let me see them.
Hold it. What are you doing?
Whoa.
Oh, it's fake.
He got you.
Who you say gave that to you?
Cat named Zing. Work down at Reign Plaza.
Tell you what, you better hope you find him before I do.
All right.
Excuse me. L.A.P.D.
We're looking for a guy named Zing.
- You! - Come here! Come back here!
Hey! Hey! You little rascal!
Get back here!
Get back here right now!
Heh. You know what? I don't even know why the hell I'm here.
I ain't even Chinese.
All right, I'm sorry.
I think there's someone who would like to talk to them first.
What'd you do that for? Unnecessary!
You done knocked out my filling, girl. That's gonna cost you.
Ah!
Ah.
I ain't never hit a woman, but your ass is pushing it!
Okay, all right, all right.
I’ll go.
Better watch your back.
Lee.
Lee!
What happened?
That lady Isabella knock you out, that's what happened. She played you.
- No. -Yes, she did.
- She save our life. -What?
- Hu Li could have killed us. -Lee, are you crazy, man?
Look at us. We good as dead!
Stop your whining, Carter!
What you gonna do if I don't stop, huh? I will slap the hell out of you right now.
- Yeah? -Yeah.
- I’ll bitch-slap you back to Africa! - Oh, you will?
- Yeah. -Come on, let me see that.
- I wanna see you do that! Come on. -Yeah?
You don't know who you're messing with!
You don't know who you're messing with.
- I’ll bite your damn nose off, man. - You bite--
- Yeah. -Come on!
Some apple?
I'd put that knife away, bitch, before you have an accident.
Ain't no use, man.
Just tell me how the Triads are gonna kill us.
They will torture us for three days.
- I can handle that. -Then they'll cut off our egg rolls.
Cut off our egg rolls?
Hell, no! Let's get the hell out of here!
Come on, man! Don't give up!
- I don't wanna die! - Be quiet.
- Okay, give me your left leg. -What for?
- Left leg! -Aah!
Like this.
- Ugh. -Aah!
- Hold tight. - Okay.
That's it. Bite that thing.
Bite it! Bite it like a little monkey!
Go on, bite it! There you go.
Yank it! Use them tiger teeth!
Yeah! Grab it, pull on it! You almost got it, that's it.
Oh, shit!
- What the hell? - Wow.
Lee, untie me. Hurry up, man!
All these statues full of money.
Ah.
Hello, Benjamin!
- What are you doing? -I’m taking this for evidence.
Carter.
- You feel that? -Yeah, we slowing down, man.
- What happened? - I’ll tell you what happened.
Come on, Lee!
Carter, go up.
Carter! Carter!
- Carter! - Lee!
- What happened? -You left me.
I didn't leave you, man. I was waiting up there for you.
Whoa, man! I ain't going in there!
- Come on! -There's rats in there!
- There's no rats! -Look at that rat!
Ugh!
Las Vegas?
Vegas? What the hell we doing in Vegas?
Look. Red Dragon.
That's the name of Ricky Tan's boat.
Lee.
That's how you launder a hundred million dollars in cash.
- Let's go. -Let's go.
- Sorry. -Damn!
One at a time. What the hell is wrong with you?
- Wait a second, man. -What?
- We can't go in there like this. -Why?
- We gotta look fly. -What you mean fly?
Mack out. We can't go in there like this.
What does it mean, mack out?
Follow me, my Asian brother. I'll show you.
Come on. Come on.
That's where we're going, right there.
When we get there, you stay a couple steps behind.
- Huh? - You smell funky.
I think you stepped in some rat shit.
It was a cowboy hat, and now it's a pith helmet, and once--
Hold up. I'll talk to you in a bit.
Hi. Can I help you gentlemen?
Yeah. I'm gonna need black, 42 long...
...and nothing touches this body but pure silk.
Get my partner something from the Kids Department.
Would your partner like to be wrapped in silk as well?
Some people think it's tacky...
...but I really enjoy it when couples dress alike.
No, this ain't no couple thing, man.
We're police officers. We're working a case, and we need clothes.
Yes. There are a lot of men chasing us.
As well they should be. Listen, you have nothing to worry about, okay?
I'm gonna turn you two into the belle of the ball.
- Thank you. -Absolutely.
Let's start with you, shall we?
You've got the mochaccino face, wonderful skin...
...and the big, broad shoulders. Let's put a dead animal on you.
Croc skin. Butter cream, butter cream, croc skin, butter cream.
What size is the waist? Let's go in.
- I wanna-- -Hey!
Watch it, sweetness.
- He's got fire to him. - Honey cups!
- I like that. - Go get the clothes! Hurry up!
I'll pull some items. Ooh, Jesus.
Ha, ha. Lil Kim, I'll be back.
- You see that? -He likes you.
I'm not shopping with you no more.
Act like you're rich.
Ladies and gentlemen...
...Steven Reign, owner and founder of the Red Dragon casino.
Thank you.
Thank you. Good evening.
A thousand years ago, a small, wealthy village in China...
...hired a young dragon to guard their treasures in a cave.
The people of the village started sneaking him extra food...
...hoping to make him stronger.
The dragon grew so big he got stuck...
...and the treasure was trapped behind him for all eternity.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have found that lost treasure.
It is here, inside the greatest casino in the world!
Welcome to the Red Dragon...
...where everybody is a winner!
Black, 29.
Look at this place, Lee. It's the biggest front in the world.
Yeah, right--
- Hello. - Drink?
Cigarettes? WAITRESS 'l: Drink?
Put your arms around me.
- What? -Hold me close.
There are cameras everywhere.
- What's going on? -I think I may be in trouble, Lee.
I really need your help.
Last time you needed my help, I woke up in a truck.
I'm undercover, Lee. I had no choice.
And you have to trust me.
Look over my right shoulder.
That's the soft count room.
We think the plates are in there.
I need you to go and get them.
Why don't you go get them?
Because if I'm wrong...
...then my entire cover is blown, understand?
How do I know I can trust you?
Dip me.
I'm asking for real now.
Will you help the Secret Service?
Hey, Lee. Lee!
What are you doing?
Thank you, man. Take this.
Dancing.
Dancing?
I'm up here working, putting my life on the line...
...and you're up here messing around, dancing with some bimbo?
Does she have a friend?
That was Isabella.
Says the plates are in the soft count room.
Lee, I know you didn't just say Isabella. Are you crazy, man?
- That girl is setting you up again. -No.
- I’m gonna find out. -No, wait, man.
There's security all over. If you're gonna do this, you need a distraction.
So keep your eye on me, you'll know when to make your move.
- Good. -Cool.
Come on, roll them, big daddy!
Come on, Tex! Come on, Tex!
Hey, hey, hey! Good roll, man!
This table's hot!
I want some of this money. Get me in this game. Come on.
Sir, uh, are you aware that there's a $50,000 buy-in this evening?
If that's the case, give me $100,000 in chips.
Let me have a diet Pepsi and some hot wings.
- Give him the chips. - Let's play!
Whoo! I'm gonna get some of this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this?
Five-hundred-dollar chips, sir.
You gave me 500-dollar chips because I'm black?
Uh, no, sir, I did not. I just assumed that--
Assumed a brother coming in here...
...can only afford $500 a roll. ls that it?
Uh, no, I didn't think that at all, sir.
- You a racist? -No, I'm not, sir.
How come everybody else got thousand-dollar chips...
...black man got a nickel? -I don't know.
How did that happen?
- It just-- -It just happened.
Ah, this is crazy. You think my people suffered 362 years of slavery...
...so you could send us back to the cotton fields with 500-dollar chips?
- No. -Do I look like Chicken George?
- You do not. -What is that?
Sir, I think you should calm down.
You should go over there and count something.
- I want thousand-dollar chips! - Give me a second.
I just wanna be treated fairly. ls that too much to ask?
- No. -ls that too much to ask?
- No. - Who knows what going on?
I got a problem on table 9.
How come ain't no black people performing? We ain't good enough?
We got Lionel Richie performing here tonight.
Lionel ain't been black since the Commodores, man.
What about Peaches and Herb? Gladys Knight and the Pips?
Ike and Tina.
They can get back together. This is crazy.
Why don't you calm down, win some money and have fun?
I ain't calming down! I'm sick of you trying to calm me down!
We got a problem. Go.
I have a dream...
...that white people and black people...
...and even Chinese people...
...can gamble together without getting different chips!
Hold it, hold it. In the spirit of brotherhood...
...let's just play craps, man. Come on, let's go. Come on, come on.
Oh, shit.
Hey.
Get him!
Stop!
- Winner, 6. - Yes!
Yes, yes, yes!
I feel good. Oh, who put their hand on my butt?
Do it again. Give me that, give me that. How much I win?
Two hundred thousand, sir.
Two hundred thousand dollars?
- Yeah! Whoo! - All right.
- Corning out. - This seven I'm about to roll...
...is for the 27 years Mandela spent in that prison, couldn't get no justice...
...and took all that crap. I ain't gonna crap out.
No!
This one is for Mandela!
A winner, seven.
- Free at last. - Free at last.
Free at last.
Out.
Imagine a business...
...where people hand you money...
...and you hand them back absolutely nothing.
Now, that's the real American dream.
Thanks to a few pieces of metal...
...and a most beautiful U.S. customs agent...
...I’m back in business.
Look at you, Lee.
You look ridiculous.
You know it didn't have to be like this.
It's too bad.
Like father, like son.
Look at this old fool.
What does he think he's doing?
I tell you, it's almost impossible to find a partner...
...that is trustworthy and loyal. Don't you agree, Lee?
Everything stays on the table.
Don't nobody touch that table.
All right.
Winner, four high, four high.
Yes! Yes!
Oh, my goodness! That's $500,000!
- Yes! That's $500,000! - Come on, sir.
- Cash me out. -You're gonna have to get off the table.
Thank you very much.
The trouble with partners is they die.
Have fun.
Don't move! U.S. Secret Service!
You're under arrest.
These gentlemen will escort you to the cashier.
Good. I don't wanna get jumped by any of these rich white folks. Let's go.
I appreciate this, fellas. You never can be too safe.
What the--?
I'm sorry, man. Did that hurt?
-Hey! you! Hold it! -Ah!
- Hey. You okay? - You all right?
Black man on a roll, y'all start tripping.
- Y'all get back! - Just calm down!
I said back! Get back! Get back! Get back!
- Ow! - Hey, stop! Get down!
Easy. Drop the stick.
Lee! Aah!
Where you been, Lee? I've been on a roll, man!
What happened to you, man?
What's that light?
Aw, man, this can't be good.
Move! Would you get out of my way?
What's wrong with you?
What happened to you, man?
Damn!
Why didn't tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?
- I did! -No, you didn't!
- I said "mm"! -What the hell is "mm"?
Mm, boom!
Ricky Tan's still alive. We have to get to the penthouse.
Ricky Tan dead.
What you talking about? Whoa!
Ah!
Lee. Go after Ricky, man. I got this.
- Carter-- -Just go, man. I got this.
I'm not gonna hold back this time just because you're a woman.
I'm gonna pretend you're a man.
A very beautiful man with a perfect body...
...who I'd like to take to the movies.
Whoo!
Oh.
You don't know nothing about this? Egyptian style, girl.
You want some of this? Come on.
Whoo, ah! Bring it on!
- Are you okay? -Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.
You need help.
I didn't know which side you were on.
Well, now you know.
What's wrong with you, woman?
Mm, you smell good.
Aah!
Thank you, Benjamin. Thank you.
We could have been a good couple.
We could have had something special.
But you one crazy-ass bitch!
Americans love to gamble, don't they, Mr. Reign?
I never gamble.
Oh, I'm, uh, cutting our deal short.
Oh.
- And my plates? -The plates stay with me.
I'm sure you won't have a problem with that.
I enjoyed that little story you told about the dragon and the treasure.
My mother used to tell it to me all the time.
Do you know the moral of that story?
Greed will imprison us all.
I hate that fortune-cookie shit.
Just like your father.
I really did try to help him, you know.
To share with him.
To make your life better.
But he was too weak.
Too afraid of change.
Give me the plates. It's over.
I don't think it's over.
There are casinos all over this country.
I can make you a very rich man, Lee.
Don't make the same mistake your father did.
If you reach for that gun, I'll kill you.
Don't you remember? I'm already dead.
Hey, Ricky. How you doing?
I see you got everything under control. I'm gonna go downstairs-- Goddamn!
What happened to Reign?
Would you like me to tell you how your father died?
Hey, hey. Wait one second, Lee.
It ain't worth it, man. He trying to trick you.
Don't go too far, now.
He never begged for his life or tried to make a deal.
Put the gun down.
All he asked me...
"just seconds before I pulled the trigger...
...was that I promise not to kill you.
Oh, it was so pathetic.
Oh, hell, no. He don't went too far. Shoot his ass now, Lee. Shoot his ass!
What are you gonna do, Lee?
All you gotta do is pull that trigger back and barn!
Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding like your father?
Don't let him talk about your daddy like that. Shoot!
You can't do it, can you?
Yes, hell, you can. Ain't nobody up here but us.
- Go off on him. -Just as I thought.
He trying to punk you. Shoot him!
- Come on! -If you ain't, kung fu his ass!
- Carter! -Ah!
No!
Damn!
Good kick, Lee.
It was an accident.
That's okay. We'll say he tried to catch a cab.
What's that in your--? Aw, hell, no.
Lady, listen to me. Put that bomb down and turn it off!
- Carter, we have to jump! -You crazy, man. I ain’t jumping.
- Use your jacket! -Hey, turn that bomb off! Aah!
Crazy-ass--!
That wasn't so bad.
I cannot believe I flew 10,000 miles for this shit.
Detective Lee, I hate to admit it...
...but the United States Secret Service is indebted to you.
- Thank you. -Thank you.
- I’ll see you onboard. - Mm-hm.
I wanna thank you too.
It was nice working with you.
I saw that.
You sly devil, you. She kissed you, didn't she?
Ah, you played it cool too.
Walking away, not looking back. I like that.
Yeah. I'm a player.
- Where is she headed? -She's going to New York.
Mm.
- Is that your gate down there? -Yep.
Well, I'm this way.
- Guess that mean goodbye. -I guess so.
Thank you, Carter.
Take good care of yourself, Lee.
- Oh, Carter. -Yeah, Lee?
What's up?
There is something I want you to have.
No, man. This is your daddy's badge. I can't take that, man.
It's okay. No. Finally, I can let it go.
Thank you, man.
Hey, you know what? I got something for you too.
What is this?
That's $10,000, man.
Got it at the tables this morning at Caesars. I'm still hot.
- I can't take this. -Don't worry about it. I got a lot more.
- No, no, no. -Go ahead. Enjoy yourself.
No, Carter. I can't have this.
Would you stop acting like a cop for one second, man, and live it up?
There gotta be something you want. Come on.
Think about it.
Final boarding call for flight 44...
...to New York City's LaGuardia. All ticketed passengers should now...
I always wanted to go to Madison Square Garden...
...see the Knicks play.
- New York City? -First class.
- The Plaza Hotel? -Maybe a little mu shu?
Amen to that, brother.
- So, what do you say? -You know what, man?
I can use another vacation.
Mark.
- Action! - Let's go!
All right, take that--
Ugh!
- You all right? - Ls he okay?
- Jackie okay? -Jackie always okay.
Is this the kosher meal?
Yes, that's our kosher meal.
- What's the name of it? - Gefilte fish.
-Gefilte fish.
Lox and bagels. It's my favorite.
- What's the name of this stuff? - Gefilte fish.
Gefilke fish-- Oh--
- What's the name? - Gefilte fish.
Gefilke fi-- Gefilta--
You know what this is? What is it?
- Gefilte fish. - It's filte fish.
Filte fish. Want some of my filte fish?
You want any of this sh--? Uh, what's the name of the fish?
Gefilte fish.
Gefilte fish. All right, I'm sorry.
Gefilte. I love this stuff.
I really don't.
Black people all over eating this. Who eats lox and bagels?
Can I have some gilte fish?
Lady! Jackie, kick.
Okay, Chris Tucker.
Jackie, kick it.
Jackie again?
We'd love to see that. Won't we love to see that, Jackie.
Jackie, we'd like to see that.
Jackie, we would love to see that. Wouldn't we?
- His name is Lee, goddamn it! -Lee, we would love to see that.
Wouldn't we, Lee?
- Gotta be something you want. -I always want to go to Square-- Madi--
I always want to go to Square-- Shh.
I always dream to Square Margon--
I always want to go to--
Now I'm gone.
Now I'm nervous. Every "garden," I'm nervous.
- Madison Square Garden. - Yes.
I always want to go to the Sq-- Madison--
A lot of men chasing us.
Because you're a very good-looking man.
If I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd take run at you.
Put you in a bubble bath, put water wings on you, spank your little bottom.
Listen, here's what we--
Easy, easy. Look it. You're giggling at me.
I'll take you home and just punish you.
I need both of you.
You sly devil, you. She kissed you, didn't she?
Yeah. I like that.
Oh-- Hold on
Who's calling?
- Say hello to your dad. -Hello?
- Hello? -Yeah.
I’m filming, man. I s-- Call me back at 7:00--
I'm looking Jackie Chan dead in his eyes.
- We're on the-- -Call me back.
- Call me back. -Are you a professional?
- We are filming, you turn on your phone? -No, you can't speak to Jackie Chan.
No. They wanna speak to you.
- Hello? -I’m sorry about this.
We are filming right now.
You sorry? You waste our film.
Call me back later, 7:00.
Damn!
He ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3.