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00:00:02,330 --> 00:00:06,417
(THE BAR-KAYS' "TOO HOT TO STOP" PLAYS)
2
00:01:38,759 --> 00:01:41,846
(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)
3
00:01:45,015 --> 00:01:47,226
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
4
00:01:50,104 --> 00:01:51,147
Yo.
5
00:01:51,313 --> 00:01:53,357
Hey, man, I was doing
some research for next year
6
00:01:53,524 --> 00:01:56,485
and I think I figured out which
website I wanna subscribe to.
7
00:01:56,652 --> 00:01:59,947
- The Vag-tastic Voyage.
- Which one is the Vag-tastic Voyage?
8
00:02:00,114 --> 00:02:01,657
The Vag-tastic Voyage
is the one where
9
00:02:01,824 --> 00:02:05,161
they find random girls on the street,
and they invite them into a van
10
00:02:05,327 --> 00:02:07,163
and then they bang them
once they're on the van.
11
00:02:07,329 --> 00:02:08,622
It's like 13 bucks a month,
12
00:02:08,789 --> 00:02:10,499
and you get access
to a bunch of other sites.
13
00:02:10,666 --> 00:02:15,004
Like one's Latina, one's Asian, um,
you know, there's one for fetishes
14
00:02:15,171 --> 00:02:17,673
like feet and pee-pee and shit
and stuff like that.
15
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,675
That's disgusting.
You're like an animal.
16
00:02:19,842 --> 00:02:22,344
I'm... What? I'm disgusting?
You're the weird one, man.
17
00:02:22,511 --> 00:02:24,513
Don't make me feel weird
because I like porn.
18
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,016
You're weird for not liking porn.
I'm normal as shit.
19
00:02:27,183 --> 00:02:28,976
Peeing on people. That's normal?
20
00:02:29,143 --> 00:02:31,520
Evan, I'm not saying
I'm gonna look at it.
21
00:02:31,687 --> 00:02:34,064
I'm just saying that it comes
with the site, okay?
22
00:02:34,231 --> 00:02:36,650
I don't know what I'm gonna
be into 10 years from now.
23
00:02:36,817 --> 00:02:38,527
I'm just sick of all
the amateur stuff, you know.
24
00:02:38,694 --> 00:02:41,906
I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar,
I want a little production value.
25
00:02:42,072 --> 00:02:44,867
Like some editing, transition,
something. Some music.
26
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:48,871
You know, well, I'm sorry, Evan, that the Coen
brothers don't direct the porn that I watch.
27
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:50,664
They're hard to get a hold of, okay?
28
00:02:50,831 --> 00:02:53,709
Plus your parents are gonna be
looking at the bill, dipshit.
29
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:58,297
Yeah, you're right. I probably should pick
the one with the least dirty-sounding name.
30
00:02:59,131 --> 00:03:00,424
Uh...
31
00:03:00,591 --> 00:03:02,593
What about, like, Perfect Ten?
32
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,595
Something like that, you know?
33
00:03:04,762 --> 00:03:06,388
Like Perfect Ten?
34
00:03:06,555 --> 00:03:08,390
Because that could be
any number of things.
35
00:03:08,557 --> 00:03:11,977
They can't really get you for that.
That could be, like, a bowling website.
36
00:03:12,686 --> 00:03:16,190
Yeah, but they don't really show dick
going in, which is a huge concern.
37
00:03:16,357 --> 00:03:17,399
I didn't realize that.
38
00:03:17,566 --> 00:03:20,152
Plus, have you ever seen
a vagina by itself?
39
00:03:21,445 --> 00:03:22,738
Not for me.
40
00:03:22,905 --> 00:03:24,406
Hi.
41
00:03:25,241 --> 00:03:28,410
- Thanks for taking him, Seth.
- No... No problem, Jane.
42
00:03:28,577 --> 00:03:30,829
- How are you?
- JANE: Good.
43
00:03:30,996 --> 00:03:32,623
Beautiful.
44
00:03:33,582 --> 00:03:35,251
- Hey! Don't touch that.
- What are you...?
45
00:03:35,417 --> 00:03:38,128
- I'm not a piece of meat.
- JANE: You two are funny.
46
00:03:38,295 --> 00:03:41,507
I can't imagine what you're gonna
do without each other next year.
47
00:03:41,674 --> 00:03:43,759
Evan told me you didn't
get into Dartmouth.
48
00:03:44,552 --> 00:03:48,597
I got into some schools, some
pretty good ones. So I'll be fine.
49
00:03:48,764 --> 00:03:51,809
- You gonna miss each other?
- No. Miss each other? No, thank you.
50
00:03:51,976 --> 00:03:53,602
I don't... I don't miss each other.
51
00:03:53,769 --> 00:03:55,604
Yeah, I'm gonna cry myself
to sleep every night.
52
00:03:55,771 --> 00:03:57,356
- Me too.
- When I'm out partying.
53
00:03:57,523 --> 00:03:59,149
Go to school, boys.
54
00:03:59,692 --> 00:04:02,319
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Jane.
55
00:04:03,612 --> 00:04:08,367
I am truly jealous you got to suck
on those tits when you were a baby.
56
00:04:08,534 --> 00:04:11,453
Yeah, well, at least you got
to suck on your dad's dick.
57
00:04:11,662 --> 00:04:14,873
(THE BAR-KAYS' "SOUL FINGER" PLAYS)
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00:04:23,757 --> 00:04:25,801
EVAN: Hey, Seth, you can't
park in the faculty lot.
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00:04:25,968 --> 00:04:28,929
SETH: Don't be such a vagine, man.
I gotta get a Red Bull before Class.
60
00:04:30,556 --> 00:04:33,100
EVAN: You know, you're being an idiot,
man. You shouldn't have parked there.
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00:04:33,267 --> 00:04:34,810
SETH: Fuck it. I'm about to graduate.
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00:04:34,977 --> 00:04:37,813
They should be sucking
on my ball sac.
63
00:04:38,564 --> 00:04:41,734
It's the least they could do
for stealing three years of my life.
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(WHISTLES)
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00:04:44,987 --> 00:04:48,407
SETH: Oh, fuck me.
EVAN: Look at those nipples.
66
00:04:48,574 --> 00:04:50,534
They're like little baby toes.
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00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:52,828
EVAN: It's not fair that
they get to flaunt that stuff
68
00:04:52,995 --> 00:04:55,122
and, like, I have to hide
every erection I get.
69
00:04:55,289 --> 00:04:57,958
You know what I do?
I flip my boner up into my waistband.
70
00:04:58,125 --> 00:05:00,169
It hides it and it feels awesome.
71
00:05:00,336 --> 00:05:02,796
I almost blew a load
into my bellybutton.
72
00:05:02,963 --> 00:05:05,966
I mean, just imagine if girls
weren't weirded out by our boners
73
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:07,843
and just, like, wanted to see them.
74
00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:11,138
I mean, that's the world
I one day wanna live in.
75
00:05:11,305 --> 00:05:14,475
It's been two years since I've
seen an actual human female nipple.
76
00:05:14,642 --> 00:05:16,602
EVAN: Shauna?
Shauna was two years ago now?
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00:05:16,769 --> 00:05:17,811
SETH: Yeah.
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00:05:17,978 --> 00:05:20,439
Yeah, I guess so.
But she was insanely hot.
79
00:05:20,606 --> 00:05:23,859
Exactly. She was too hot, okay?
That's what sucks.
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00:05:24,026 --> 00:05:26,320
How can that possibly suck?
I'd be psyched if I'd gotten with her.
81
00:05:26,487 --> 00:05:28,030
You got, like, two dozen handjobs.
82
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,908
Yes, and three-quarters of a
blowjob, but who's counting, Evan?
83
00:05:31,075 --> 00:05:33,202
Look, it was the peak
of my ass-getting career,
84
00:05:33,369 --> 00:05:34,995
and it happened way, way too early.
85
00:05:35,162 --> 00:05:37,122
- You're like Orson Welles.
- Exactly!
86
00:05:37,289 --> 00:05:39,833
If I'd paced myself,
I'd be having at least steady sex
87
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,335
with a decent-looking girl.
88
00:05:41,502 --> 00:05:44,505
I honestly see now why Orson
Welles ate his fat ass to death.
89
00:05:44,672 --> 00:05:46,507
You'll have sex in college,
everyone does.
90
00:05:46,674 --> 00:05:49,802
Yes, but the point is to be good at
sex by the time you get to college.
91
00:05:49,968 --> 00:05:52,846
You don't want girls thinking
you suck dick at fucking pussy.
92
00:05:53,013 --> 00:05:55,015
I still think you have a
chance with Jules, man. Really.
93
00:05:55,182 --> 00:05:57,017
And she got incredibly hot
over last summer
94
00:05:57,184 --> 00:05:59,186
and she obviously
hasn't realized it yet
95
00:05:59,353 --> 00:06:02,064
because she's still always talking to
you and flirting with you and stuff.
96
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:05,275
Are you out of your mind?
Look at Jules' dating record, okay?
97
00:06:05,442 --> 00:06:08,821
She dated Dan Remick, who's had a
six-pack since, like, kindergarten.
98
00:06:08,987 --> 00:06:12,574
Jason Stone, who looks like
fucking Zack Morris. And Matt Muir.
99
00:06:12,741 --> 00:06:15,077
Matt Muir.
He's the sweetest guy ever.
100
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,079
Have you ever stared into his eyes?
101
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,873
It was like the first time
I heard the Beatles.
102
00:06:20,999 --> 00:06:23,127
Why would she end her high
school career with me?
103
00:06:23,293 --> 00:06:25,379
You know, Becca dated Eric
Rosecrantz for like two years.
104
00:06:25,546 --> 00:06:26,922
Yeah, but that guy's
a fucking idiot.
105
00:06:27,089 --> 00:06:28,882
You're actually a step up
from that dick-load.
106
00:06:29,049 --> 00:06:31,176
That's why you need to stop...
Will you get this for me?
107
00:06:31,343 --> 00:06:33,762
That's why you need to stop
being a pussy and nail her, okay?
108
00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:35,764
You could bang her for like
two months before you leave.
109
00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:38,892
And I'm not gonna dance around
it, she looks like a good fucker.
110
00:06:39,059 --> 00:06:41,478
All right, I'm tired of you talking
about her like that, man.
111
00:06:41,645 --> 00:06:45,149
What, you can talk about her all day every day,
and the second I say one thing, it's blasphemy?
112
00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:46,942
Yeah, well, I don't
constantly insult her.
113
00:06:47,109 --> 00:06:48,527
I'm not trying to insult her.
114
00:06:48,694 --> 00:06:51,280
I'm just saying that she looks
like a good fucker, okay?
115
00:06:51,447 --> 00:06:52,990
She looks like she can take a dick.
116
00:06:53,157 --> 00:06:55,784
Some women pride themselves
on their dick-taking abilities.
117
00:06:55,951 --> 00:06:58,871
Dick-taking abilities? You think that's
a good thing to say about someone?
118
00:06:59,037 --> 00:07:01,290
The fucked-up thing is,
I actually do, okay?
119
00:07:01,457 --> 00:07:05,085
If some woman tried to compliment me on
my dick-giving abilities, I'd be psyched.
120
00:07:05,252 --> 00:07:06,628
Hey, yo, Seth.
121
00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:09,882
What?
122
00:07:10,048 --> 00:07:13,135
Did you hear I'm having a
big grad party next Saturday?
123
00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:16,472
- No.
- JESSE: Yeah.
124
00:07:17,639 --> 00:07:20,058
MAN: Oh, Shit!
JESSE: You're not coming.
125
00:07:20,684 --> 00:07:23,979
Tell your fucking faggot friend
he can't come either.
126
00:07:24,897 --> 00:07:27,733
(JESSE HAWKING)
127
00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:30,319
So Jesse wanted me to tell you
128
00:07:30,486 --> 00:07:32,863
that you're a fucking faggot
and you can't come to his party.
129
00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:34,948
You know, you really
bitched out back there, man.
130
00:07:35,115 --> 00:07:36,492
I bitched out?
131
00:07:36,658 --> 00:07:39,453
You bitched out, man,
you fucking Judas.
132
00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:40,829
You fucking left me
hanging over there.
133
00:07:40,996 --> 00:07:43,040
Did you want me to dive
in front of his spit?
134
00:07:43,207 --> 00:07:44,500
♪♪♪
135
00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:45,876
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
136
00:07:46,043 --> 00:07:48,170
Come on, guys, let's go!
137
00:08:03,143 --> 00:08:04,686
This is bullshit.
138
00:08:04,853 --> 00:08:07,022
Pussy.
139
00:08:07,523 --> 00:08:11,193
If I equals the square root
of negative one,
140
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:16,990
then I squared equals
negative one. Okay?
141
00:08:17,157 --> 00:08:19,409
In other words,
if you consider I as a constant,
142
00:08:19,576 --> 00:08:23,372
you can then define the square roots
of all the negative numbers.
143
00:08:23,789 --> 00:08:28,252
So I is an imaginary number.
It doesn't really exist.
144
00:08:28,418 --> 00:08:31,380
If I equals the square root
of negative one,
145
00:08:31,547 --> 00:08:33,465
then I squared equals negative one.
146
00:08:33,632 --> 00:08:34,675
(BELL RINGS)
147
00:08:34,842 --> 00:08:36,593
Is this making s...? Okay.
148
00:08:43,183 --> 00:08:44,518
- WOMAN: Okay, bye.
- Evan!
149
00:08:45,018 --> 00:08:46,478
- Evan, hey.
- Hey, Becca.
150
00:08:46,645 --> 00:08:48,313
- Hey, uh, thank you for your pen.
- EVAN: Hey. Hi.
151
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,149
No problem. No, no, don't worry.
No worries. You just keep it.
152
00:08:51,316 --> 00:08:54,903
It'll be yours. You won't have to borrow
one again because you'll have that one.
153
00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:58,991
- Thank you so much, that's...
- You're welcome. Don't worry about it.
154
00:08:59,157 --> 00:09:00,826
So I was gonna ask you
155
00:09:00,993 --> 00:09:03,537
did you hear about Jesse's
grad party next weekend?
156
00:09:03,704 --> 00:09:07,291
- It should be fun.
- I heard. I... It's a maybe.
157
00:09:07,457 --> 00:09:09,001
- Really?
- For me at the moment.
158
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:10,711
- Uh, my R.S.V.P.
- Just a maybe?
159
00:09:10,878 --> 00:09:11,920
So far.
160
00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:14,756
There's so much other fun shit
that's gonna be happening that night
161
00:09:14,923 --> 00:09:18,010
that I can't really commit and,
you know, hurt someone's feelings.
162
00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:21,263
Fun shit? But I never see you
at parties or anything.
163
00:09:22,097 --> 00:09:24,933
That's because of all the
other fun shit I'm off doing.
164
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,894
I'd love to be
at all of them, but...
165
00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,937
So why weren't you
at Dimitri's on Saturday?
166
00:09:29,104 --> 00:09:30,606
There was just
so many things going on.
167
00:09:30,772 --> 00:09:32,858
I couldn't find a minute to
make an appearance over there.
168
00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:34,026
What did you do?
169
00:09:34,192 --> 00:09:36,570
Um, Saturday was
a crazy night for me.
170
00:09:39,615 --> 00:09:41,575
I had some friends over,
we had a few drinks.
171
00:09:41,742 --> 00:09:43,619
PEOPLE ON VIDEO: That's Vag-tastic!
172
00:09:43,785 --> 00:09:46,538
EVAN: I hung out in my basement,
the chill zone, Where we chill-lax.
173
00:09:46,705 --> 00:09:49,374
Like "relax" and "chill"
all at once.
174
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:51,960
Seth's parents
were throwing this party.
175
00:09:52,127 --> 00:09:55,130
We got to hang around adults,
which was a nice change of pace.
176
00:09:55,297 --> 00:09:58,759
You converse, you talk to people
and they have interesting stories.
177
00:09:58,926 --> 00:10:02,638
I talked to a man who claimed he had
climbed five mountains in his life.
178
00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:04,389
- Wow.
- Then we went to a nightclub,
179
00:10:04,556 --> 00:10:06,266
which was incredible.
This big, fancy one.
180
00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:09,436
SETH: Gonna look at tits right now!
EVAN: "I'm feeling crazy." I said that.
181
00:10:09,603 --> 00:10:11,897
BECCA: You got in?
EVAN: We got right in.
182
00:10:12,064 --> 00:10:13,899
EVAN: Wanna do this, 'roid monkey?
FOGELL: Fuck you!
183
00:10:14,066 --> 00:10:16,693
EVAN: Then we called it a night.
We were all just really exhausted.
184
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:19,446
Oh! What the fuck?!
185
00:10:19,613 --> 00:10:22,866
You would've loved it.
It was an incredible, unbelievable night.
186
00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:24,368
That sounds like a lot of fun.
187
00:10:24,534 --> 00:10:27,496
You know, I'd love to go do
something like that sometime.
188
00:10:27,663 --> 00:10:29,331
Oh, who wouldn't?
I mean, it was like
189
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:32,709
me and Seth are always
kind of cooking up these
190
00:10:32,876 --> 00:10:35,545
fun sort of little,
you know, events.
191
00:10:35,712 --> 00:10:38,507
So I guess you guys are really
gonna go crazy next year together.
192
00:10:38,674 --> 00:10:41,426
Um, we were going to,
but we got into different schools.
193
00:10:41,593 --> 00:10:43,679
Really? That sucks.
194
00:10:44,012 --> 00:10:47,099
Yeah, I mean, it's not too bad.
I mean, it should be okay.
195
00:10:47,265 --> 00:10:48,850
I'm not too worried
about it, really.
196
00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:51,687
Don't worry about it.
I'm not worried at all.
197
00:10:52,354 --> 00:10:56,775
- All right, well, thank you for the pen.
- Yeah. No problem.
198
00:10:56,942 --> 00:10:59,861
- Bye.
- Bye.
199
00:11:00,028 --> 00:11:02,322
Bye, Evan.
200
00:11:02,489 --> 00:11:04,574
♪♪♪
201
00:11:11,331 --> 00:11:14,710
Mrs. Hayworth, I joined this Class because
I thought I'd be cooking with a partner.
202
00:11:14,876 --> 00:11:18,463
But she's never here, and I don't get
twice the grades for doing all the work.
203
00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:20,716
I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth.
204
00:11:20,882 --> 00:11:23,969
I know, but look at Evan, okay?
Just look at him.
205
00:11:24,136 --> 00:11:27,639
Hey, don't keep me waiting much longer.
I'm getting impatient up here.
206
00:11:27,806 --> 00:11:30,642
You know what I'm talking about.
Miroki, you're embarrassing me.
207
00:11:30,809 --> 00:11:34,229
I'm over here in my unit, isolated and
alone, eating my terrible-tasting food,
208
00:11:34,396 --> 00:11:35,897
and I gotta look over at that.
209
00:11:36,064 --> 00:11:38,316
Looks like the most fun I've
ever seen in my entire life.
210
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:41,653
And it's B.S. Excuse my language.
I'm just saying that I wash and dry.
211
00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:42,988
I'm like a single mother.
212
00:11:43,155 --> 00:11:45,157
Look, we all know Home EC
is a joke, no offense.
213
00:11:45,323 --> 00:11:48,744
Everyone takes this class to get an A.
It's bullshit, and I'm sorry.
214
00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:51,913
I'm not putting down your profession,
but it's just the way I feel.
215
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,416
I don't wanna sit here all by
myself cooking this shitty food.
216
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:58,587
No offense. And I just think that
I don't ever need to cook tiramisu.
217
00:11:58,754 --> 00:12:00,505
When am I gonna need
to cook tiramisu?
218
00:12:00,672 --> 00:12:02,090
Am I gonna be a chef? No.
219
00:12:02,257 --> 00:12:05,260
There's three weeks left in school.
Give me a fucking break.
220
00:12:05,427 --> 00:12:07,637
I'm sorry for cursing.
221
00:12:08,805 --> 00:12:11,141
All right, Jules' partner
isn't here today either.
222
00:12:11,308 --> 00:12:12,768
Pair up with her. Station four.
223
00:12:13,477 --> 00:12:15,103
Jules?
224
00:12:16,354 --> 00:12:18,190
All right.
I'll give it another shot.
225
00:12:18,356 --> 00:12:20,400
I'll give Home EC another shot.
226
00:12:29,993 --> 00:12:32,245
Hey, Jules.
Your partner didn't come today?
227
00:12:33,121 --> 00:12:34,998
- That's kind of a personal question.
- What?
228
00:12:35,582 --> 00:12:38,668
Nothing. It's my attempt
at humor. I was just...
229
00:12:38,919 --> 00:12:40,670
Oh, like coming.
230
00:12:40,837 --> 00:12:42,923
Like "coming" coming.
Ahh.
231
00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:47,469
Wow, that was a little too far
right there. The gesture.
232
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:50,555
Yeah. It's pretty far.
Shit, I do that...
233
00:12:50,722 --> 00:12:53,141
No, don't worry.
I'm actually used to it.
234
00:12:53,308 --> 00:12:55,936
My older brother says, like,
the nastiest shit.
235
00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:58,271
Like he called me "hymen"
until I was 12.
236
00:12:59,022 --> 00:13:00,982
- That's sick. That's not even clever.
- I know.
237
00:13:01,149 --> 00:13:02,192
I know.
238
00:13:02,359 --> 00:13:04,945
You know, I would've gone with something, you
know, at least, like, mildly entertaining.
239
00:13:05,112 --> 00:13:07,531
You know, like... Like...
Like "family Jules."
240
00:13:07,697 --> 00:13:12,160
Oh, like "nuts." Yeah, that's funny.
That's a fucking funny joke.
241
00:13:12,536 --> 00:13:14,538
Fucking funny.
242
00:13:15,122 --> 00:13:18,041
- I can't believe that.
- So all right. We gotta
243
00:13:18,208 --> 00:13:19,251
mix it up.
244
00:13:19,417 --> 00:13:22,629
(JEAN KNIGHT'S "DO ME" PLAYS)
245
00:13:27,050 --> 00:13:28,718
(INAUDIBLE DIALOG)
246
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:59,499
Yeah, Hayworth won't notice this,
if we cover it with chocolate.
247
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:02,002
- The whole thing?
- Just dump it on. I'm serious.
248
00:14:02,169 --> 00:14:03,253
Okay.
249
00:14:04,004 --> 00:14:06,923
- And now it looks professional.
- That's really impressive.
250
00:14:07,090 --> 00:14:09,092
- It's beautifully done.
- I think we're gonna get an A.
251
00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:11,011
(LAUGHS)
252
00:14:12,053 --> 00:14:14,139
So, what are you doing tonight?
253
00:14:14,472 --> 00:14:16,224
- Probably nothing. Why?
- I don't know.
254
00:14:16,391 --> 00:14:18,727
My parents are out of town so I
was thinking about having a party.
255
00:14:18,894 --> 00:14:21,229
I don't really know how many
people are gonna be there,
256
00:14:21,396 --> 00:14:23,690
but you could stop by
if you wanted to.
257
00:14:24,232 --> 00:14:26,401
Yeah, I love parties.
258
00:14:26,818 --> 00:14:28,445
Really?
259
00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:31,156
I just don't really ever
see you at them.
260
00:14:31,323 --> 00:14:33,033
You know, it's a love-hate thing.
261
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,578
So, like, you know, right now,
I really love them, though.
262
00:14:37,329 --> 00:14:39,247
- Yeah.
- Good shit, right, Miroki?
263
00:14:39,414 --> 00:14:40,457
Mm. Mm-hm.
264
00:14:40,624 --> 00:14:41,750
Yeah.
265
00:14:41,917 --> 00:14:44,586
Hey, Miroki, could we have
a minute alone? Just... Thanks.
266
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:47,339
Dude, Jules is having
a fucking party.
267
00:14:47,505 --> 00:14:48,924
FOGELL: Hey!
268
00:14:49,299 --> 00:14:52,594
- Don't tell Fogell about the party.
- Gangsters. What's up, guys?
269
00:14:53,053 --> 00:14:56,139
I was just walking down the hall
and Nicola was right in front of me.
270
00:14:56,306 --> 00:14:59,267
She's wearing these tight white
pants with this black G-string
271
00:14:59,434 --> 00:15:02,520
and you could see right through the
pants, man. It was so sweet.
272
00:15:11,404 --> 00:15:12,572
Uh...
273
00:15:12,739 --> 00:15:15,033
It's 10:33.
274
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:16,993
(MUMBLING)
275
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,870
What?
276
00:15:20,914 --> 00:15:22,207
I told her what time it was.
277
00:15:22,374 --> 00:15:25,377
That's the coolest fucking stow I've ever
heard in my entire life. That's insane.
278
00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:28,129
- Can I hear it again? You have time?
- Yeah, yeah, Seth.
279
00:15:28,296 --> 00:15:31,132
I'm really gonna miss your knee-slappers
when me and Evan are at Dartmouth.
280
00:15:31,299 --> 00:15:33,426
Well, while you guys are at
Dartmouth, I'll be over at State
281
00:15:33,593 --> 00:15:36,721
where the girls are half as smart and
thus twice as likely to fellash me.
282
00:15:36,888 --> 00:15:39,349
What are you guys
doing tonight? Asshole.
283
00:15:39,516 --> 00:15:41,726
We got nothing.
Nothing tonight, Fogell.
284
00:15:41,893 --> 00:15:44,813
No? Well, if nothing comes up,
we can get shitfaced again, yeah?
285
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,732
I mean, you're always calling me a pussy
and whatnot, but today you're wrong.
286
00:15:47,899 --> 00:15:50,402
At lunch, I'm going to the
same place Mike Snider went
287
00:15:50,568 --> 00:15:52,487
to pick up my brand-new fake ID.
288
00:15:52,654 --> 00:15:57,242
Chica, chica. Yeah.
Fake ID. Fake ID. I'm tight.
289
00:15:57,409 --> 00:15:59,494
That's insane. Because Evan was just
like, "I heard about this party."
290
00:15:59,661 --> 00:16:02,497
We shouldn't tell Fogell about it." I
was like, "No, we should tell Fogell."
291
00:16:02,664 --> 00:16:05,375
That way you could buy us booze now.
It's awesome.
292
00:16:05,542 --> 00:16:09,045
Yeah, I'll... Sure, I'll buy the booze.
Yeah, man, we're gonna get our drinks on.
293
00:16:09,212 --> 00:16:11,756
We're gonna party and get
crunk and rock out, dude.
294
00:16:11,923 --> 00:16:14,009
HAYWORTH: If you're not in this
class, leave this Class.
295
00:16:14,175 --> 00:16:16,386
Fogell! Hi.
296
00:16:16,553 --> 00:16:17,637
Okay. Gotta go.
297
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,848
EVAN: Well done. Seriously.
See you after class.
298
00:16:20,307 --> 00:16:22,142
You tell that idiot you're not
rooming with him next year?
299
00:16:22,309 --> 00:16:23,351
Not yet. No.
300
00:16:23,518 --> 00:16:26,271
All right, well, you better.
That guy's the fucking anti-poon.
301
00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:28,440
Seth, it's dishes time.
What's the holdup?
302
00:16:28,815 --> 00:16:30,900
We're getting a fake ID, so...
303
00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:33,903
- It's not like a big deal.
- Wow. That's cool.
304
00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:36,239
But you guys have, like,
four more years to cuddle,
305
00:16:36,406 --> 00:16:37,824
so do you wanna get to work?
306
00:16:37,991 --> 00:16:40,410
Well, we got into
different schools, so...
307
00:16:40,577 --> 00:16:42,704
So you're cutting the cord?
What's gonna happen?
308
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:45,457
Nothing. Jeez, what does
everybody think is gonna happen?
309
00:16:45,623 --> 00:16:48,501
The world's gonna explode if we
don't spend every second together?
310
00:16:48,668 --> 00:16:51,087
I mean, we're not dependent
on each other, you know.
311
00:16:51,254 --> 00:16:53,673
It's like, we met when we were eight.
We were fine before then.
312
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,676
I was. I mean, it's like,
we don't do everything together.
313
00:16:56,843 --> 00:17:00,513
No. All right, I gotta take a piss. My dick's
not gonna shake itself. Come on, babe.
314
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,474
Oh, yeah.
315
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,394
- He's a crack-up.
- I'm just gonna go.
316
00:17:09,147 --> 00:17:11,524
Well, at least we're
getting a graduation party.
317
00:17:11,691 --> 00:17:12,859
Thank God, man.
318
00:17:13,026 --> 00:17:14,069
Oh, I'm excited.
319
00:17:15,111 --> 00:17:18,615
I would do terrible,
disgusting things to hook up with Jules.
320
00:17:18,782 --> 00:17:20,575
- Unforgivable things.
- I hear you, man.
321
00:17:20,742 --> 00:17:22,911
I'd give my middle nut
to start dating Becca.
322
00:17:23,078 --> 00:17:24,996
Becca's a bitch.
323
00:17:25,163 --> 00:17:27,832
You know what? I'm seriously
getting fucking sick of you
324
00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:30,502
talking about her like that, frankly,
if we can be honest with each other.
325
00:17:30,668 --> 00:17:32,337
- Me too.
- Why do you hate her so much?
326
00:17:32,504 --> 00:17:34,923
You've never given me a reason.
I think you like her.
327
00:17:35,298 --> 00:17:38,426
- Fuck no, man! I hate Becca.
- Why, man?
328
00:17:38,593 --> 00:17:41,096
Fine, Evan. Here it comes.
329
00:17:41,262 --> 00:17:44,099
When I was a little kid,
I kind of had this problem.
330
00:17:44,265 --> 00:17:45,934
And it's not even
that big of a deal.
331
00:17:46,101 --> 00:17:48,853
Something like 8 percent of kids do
it, but whatever. It's...
332
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:55,527
For some reason, I don't know why,
I would just kind of sit around all day...
333
00:17:57,195 --> 00:17:59,030
and draw pictures of dicks.
334
00:18:01,074 --> 00:18:02,200
What?
335
00:18:02,659 --> 00:18:04,828
Draw pictures of dicks.
336
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,538
Dicks?
337
00:18:06,704 --> 00:18:08,540
Like a man dick?
338
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,042
Yeah. Like a man dick.
339
00:18:11,251 --> 00:18:13,670
♪♪♪
340
00:18:13,837 --> 00:18:17,132
I'd just sit there for hours on end,
drawing dicks. I don't know What it was.
341
00:18:17,298 --> 00:18:21,094
I couldn't touch the pen to a piece of paper
without it drawing the shape of a penis.
342
00:18:21,261 --> 00:18:23,555
EVAN: That's fucked.
SETH: No shit, it's really fucked up.
343
00:18:23,721 --> 00:18:25,056
Here I am, this little kid,
344
00:18:25,223 --> 00:18:28,184
and I can't stop drawing dicks
to save my own life.
345
00:18:37,235 --> 00:18:39,988
All right. I mean, I don't see
what this has to do with Becca.
346
00:18:40,155 --> 00:18:42,574
Just listen. Okay?
347
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:45,910
Your precious little Becca
sat next to me for all of fourth grade.
348
00:18:46,578 --> 00:18:50,248
And in the classroom is where
I did the majority of my illustrations.
349
00:18:51,082 --> 00:18:54,294
I was very secretive about this
whole dick operation I had going on.
350
00:18:54,461 --> 00:18:56,087
Even I thought I was fucking crazy.
351
00:18:56,254 --> 00:18:57,922
Imagine what everyone else
would think.
352
00:18:58,089 --> 00:19:00,091
So I would stash
all of my dick drawings
353
00:19:00,258 --> 00:19:03,178
in this Ghostbusters
lunchbox that I had.
354
00:19:03,344 --> 00:19:07,599
So one day I'm finishing up this
real big, veiny, triumphant bastard.
355
00:19:07,765 --> 00:19:08,892
All of a sudden...
356
00:19:09,058 --> 00:19:10,810
BOY: Pussy.
357
00:19:13,229 --> 00:19:15,190
You hit Becca's foot
with your dick?
358
00:19:15,356 --> 00:19:18,109
Yeah. I know.
359
00:19:18,318 --> 00:19:20,487
♪♪♪
360
00:19:32,707 --> 00:19:33,791
(SCREAMING)
361
00:19:33,958 --> 00:19:35,335
Oh, my God!
362
00:19:35,502 --> 00:19:39,088
SETH: She starts crying. She flips out.
And she rats me out to the principal.
363
00:19:39,255 --> 00:19:41,799
He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox
dick treasure chest
364
00:19:41,966 --> 00:19:43,384
and he fucking flips out.
365
00:19:52,769 --> 00:19:56,231
He calls in my parents. Turns out this
principal is some religious fanatic
366
00:19:56,397 --> 00:19:58,608
and he thinks I'm possessed
by some sort of dick devil.
367
00:19:58,775 --> 00:20:02,237
My parents make me go see some therapist, and
he's asking me all these dick questions.
368
00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:04,656
They literally made me stop eating
foods that were shaped like dicks.
369
00:20:04,822 --> 00:20:06,491
No hot dogs, no Popsicles.
370
00:20:06,658 --> 00:20:09,577
You know how many foods are
shaped like dicks? The best kinds.
371
00:20:09,744 --> 00:20:11,204
Yeah.
372
00:20:11,996 --> 00:20:14,958
Well, I don't...
That's really messed up.
373
00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:18,002
- Super gay.
- All right, let's stop this madness.
374
00:20:18,169 --> 00:20:21,422
- Let's just go get some dessert.
- I can't, I gotta go meet my counselor.
375
00:20:21,589 --> 00:20:23,925
I'm picking out my classes
for next year.
376
00:20:24,884 --> 00:20:29,013
What, so I gotta sit here and eat dessert
alone, like I'm fucking Steven Glanzberg?
377
00:20:29,681 --> 00:20:32,141
I gue... Yeah, I mean,
what do you want me to do?
378
00:20:33,184 --> 00:20:35,270
I don't know. Nothing. It's fine.
379
00:20:35,895 --> 00:20:39,691
- Just relax, man. I'll see you later.
- That's fine. I'll be fine.
380
00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:48,992
MAN: Hey, pussy.
381
00:20:49,158 --> 00:20:51,035
Fuck off.
382
00:20:51,202 --> 00:20:52,954
Just the one. Just the one.
Not both.
383
00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,789
NICOLA: So I'll call Andy and Greg.
JULES: Okay.
384
00:20:54,956 --> 00:20:57,458
NICOLA: And I'll bring
the '80s dance music.
385
00:20:57,625 --> 00:20:59,252
- Yeah, yeah.
- Right on.
386
00:20:59,419 --> 00:21:01,879
Seth! Hi. There you are.
We were just talking about you.
387
00:21:02,046 --> 00:21:04,299
- Here I am. Yeah.
- JULES: That's weird.
388
00:21:04,465 --> 00:21:07,218
Um, so you're coming to my party tonight,
right? Because it's, like, fully on.
389
00:21:07,385 --> 00:21:10,513
Yeah, why? Should I not come?
Because I could think of other shit...
390
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,224
Oh, no. No. I want you
to come, I just...
391
00:21:13,391 --> 00:21:16,644
You said something earlier about,
like, a fake ID or something, right?
392
00:21:16,811 --> 00:21:19,397
Yeah, I'm gonna get one.
For sure, for sure.
393
00:21:19,564 --> 00:21:21,482
I'm getting that for sure.
394
00:21:21,649 --> 00:21:23,026
(JULES LAUGHS)
395
00:21:23,192 --> 00:21:25,069
Can you get us booze?
396
00:21:27,488 --> 00:21:29,866
Yeah. I can.
I can get you guys alcohol.
397
00:21:30,033 --> 00:21:31,576
- Really? Seriously?
- SETH: Yes, for sure.
398
00:21:31,743 --> 00:21:33,369
That would be awesome.
Thank you.
399
00:21:33,536 --> 00:21:36,039
Because we were worried
about that. That would be great.
400
00:21:36,205 --> 00:21:38,916
Plus, you know, you scratch
our backs, we'll scratch yours.
401
00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:41,127
Well, Jules, the funny thing
about my back
402
00:21:41,294 --> 00:21:43,087
is that it's located on my cock.
403
00:21:43,254 --> 00:21:45,715
(SETH AND JULES LAUGH)
404
00:21:46,341 --> 00:21:48,343
So you do want alcohol?
You want some sort or no?
405
00:21:48,509 --> 00:21:50,762
You do or you don't?
You do want alcohol.
406
00:21:50,928 --> 00:21:52,263
- Um, yeah.
- Either way.
407
00:21:52,430 --> 00:21:54,474
JULES: Well...
Either way. Either way's fine.
408
00:21:54,641 --> 00:21:56,434
This is actually kind of
a big favor.
409
00:21:56,601 --> 00:22:00,563
Because my parents left me like 100
bucks to feed myself for the week.
410
00:22:00,730 --> 00:22:03,941
But the house is full of food,
so I just thought I'd spend it all
411
00:22:04,108 --> 00:22:06,944
on, you know, extra drinks
for the party, so...
412
00:22:07,111 --> 00:22:10,281
That's really nice. I don't think
I've ever done anything that nice.
413
00:22:10,448 --> 00:22:12,033
- It's cool?
- Yeah.
414
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,409
- Okay. Thank you.
- Awesome.
415
00:22:13,576 --> 00:22:16,579
I mean, seriously, that's really...
That's nice of you. Thank you.
416
00:22:16,746 --> 00:22:20,416
So should I just get a shitload
of different shit?
417
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:23,544
Well, you gotta get me
some Kyle's Killer Lemonade.
418
00:22:23,711 --> 00:22:26,964
Kyle's Killer Lemonade. That's kind
of gay, but I can get it for you.
419
00:22:27,465 --> 00:22:30,426
So... Okay,
so then we will see you tonight.
420
00:22:30,593 --> 00:22:32,011
GYM TEACHER: Go to the ball, guys.
421
00:22:32,178 --> 00:22:34,389
Evan. Get into the game.
422
00:22:34,931 --> 00:22:36,849
EVAN: Kick it over to me.
423
00:22:37,016 --> 00:22:39,143
GYM TEACHER:
Seth! Get off the field!
424
00:22:39,310 --> 00:22:41,479
Dude, get out of here.
They're gonna make me run laps again.
425
00:22:41,646 --> 00:22:42,897
Just fucking listen, okay?
426
00:22:43,064 --> 00:22:46,567
Jules and her stupid fucking friend came up
to me and they asked me to buy her alcohol.
427
00:22:46,734 --> 00:22:49,696
But not just her, for her whole party.
You know what that means?
428
00:22:49,862 --> 00:22:53,074
By some divine miracle, we were paired
up and she actually thought of me.
429
00:22:53,241 --> 00:22:55,993
Thought of me enough to decide
that I was the guy she would trust
430
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,996
with the whole fun-ness of her party.
She wants to fuck me.
431
00:22:59,163 --> 00:23:01,999
She wants my dick
in or around her mouth.
432
00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:04,836
Did you ever think that maybe she's
just using you to get her alcohol?
433
00:23:05,002 --> 00:23:06,087
She doesn't want your dick.
434
00:23:06,295 --> 00:23:07,755
Yes, of course I thought of that.
435
00:23:07,922 --> 00:23:09,966
That's like the first thing that
came to my mind. Just listen.
436
00:23:10,133 --> 00:23:12,260
My older brother always says,
like, the nastiest shit.
437
00:23:12,427 --> 00:23:14,929
Like he called me "hymen"
until I was 12.
438
00:23:15,096 --> 00:23:16,639
Seth, I wanna blow you.
439
00:23:17,473 --> 00:23:18,766
Man, she didn't say that.
Come on.
440
00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:20,768
She didn't say the second part,
but the first part...
441
00:23:20,935 --> 00:23:22,979
She's got an older brother.
She could've asked him,
442
00:23:23,146 --> 00:23:25,148
but she asked me.
She looked me in the eyes and said:
443
00:23:25,314 --> 00:23:29,110
"Seth, mama's making a pubie salad.
I need some Seth's Own dressing."
444
00:23:29,277 --> 00:23:31,654
She's D.T.F. She's down
to fuck, man.
445
00:23:31,821 --> 00:23:34,532
P in vagi.
She wants to fuck, man.
446
00:23:34,699 --> 00:23:37,410
Tonight is the night that
fucking is an actual possibility.
447
00:23:37,577 --> 00:23:40,246
You just sound like an idiot. You're not
gonna be able to sleep with her, man.
448
00:23:40,413 --> 00:23:43,708
No. Dude, I know
I talk a lot of shit, okay?
449
00:23:43,875 --> 00:23:46,252
But she's gonna be at the
party and she's gonna be drunk.
450
00:23:46,419 --> 00:23:48,421
She likes me at least a little.
Enough to get with me.
451
00:23:48,588 --> 00:23:50,131
At the very least,
I'll make out with her.
452
00:23:50,298 --> 00:23:52,341
Two weeks, handjob.
Month, blowjob. Whatever.
453
00:23:52,508 --> 00:23:54,093
And then I make her my girlfriend.
454
00:23:54,260 --> 00:23:56,262
And I've got, like,
two solid months of sex.
455
00:23:56,429 --> 00:23:58,055
By the time college rolls around,
456
00:23:58,222 --> 00:24:00,516
I'll be like the Iron Chef
of pounding vag.
457
00:24:00,683 --> 00:24:02,685
Can you get out of here and
we'll talk about this later?
458
00:24:02,852 --> 00:24:04,187
What the fuck, Evan?
We're down two points.
459
00:24:04,353 --> 00:24:06,189
Fucking calm down, Greg.
It's soccer.
460
00:24:06,355 --> 00:24:08,024
- It's soccer.
- Fuck you, man.
461
00:24:08,191 --> 00:24:10,443
Hey, Greg, why don't you
go piss your pants again?
462
00:24:10,610 --> 00:24:13,196
- That was eight years ago, asshole.
- People don't forget.
463
00:24:13,362 --> 00:24:15,448
Do you wanna hear
the best part? Becca.
464
00:24:15,615 --> 00:24:17,450
You do the same thing with her.
465
00:24:17,617 --> 00:24:19,744
When you guys are shitfaced at the
party, you get with her.
466
00:24:19,911 --> 00:24:22,705
This is our last party
as high school people.
467
00:24:22,872 --> 00:24:25,792
I've fully ignored my hatred for
Becca in coming up with this plan.
468
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,795
I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking
come with me on this voyage,
469
00:24:28,961 --> 00:24:30,546
and just stop being
a pussy for once,
470
00:24:30,713 --> 00:24:33,800
and we can fucking
fuck some girls already.
471
00:24:34,342 --> 00:24:36,677
- I should buy Becca alcohol?
- Yeah, it'll be pimp.
472
00:24:36,844 --> 00:24:39,764
That way you know she'll be drunk.
You know when you hear girls saying:
473
00:24:39,931 --> 00:24:43,100
"Oh, I was so shitfaced last night.
I shouldn't have fucked that guy."
474
00:24:43,267 --> 00:24:44,685
We could be that mistake!
475
00:24:46,938 --> 00:24:48,272
Have you talked to Fogell?
476
00:24:48,439 --> 00:24:51,317
All right, you talk to Becca.
I'll talk to that retard, Fogell.
477
00:24:51,484 --> 00:24:52,527
Don't worry.
478
00:24:52,693 --> 00:24:54,612
GYM TEACHER: Seth, get off the field!
479
00:24:54,779 --> 00:24:55,780
SETH: Goal.
480
00:24:55,947 --> 00:24:57,615
GYM TEACHER: You're getting that!
SETH: No, I'm not!
481
00:25:01,536 --> 00:25:03,412
Hey, Becca. Hey, hold up.
482
00:25:03,579 --> 00:25:04,622
- Oh, hey.
- Hey, um...
483
00:25:04,789 --> 00:25:07,208
Hi. Did you hear
about the party tonight?
484
00:25:07,375 --> 00:25:09,377
Yeah. Yeah, I just heard.
It sounds awesome.
485
00:25:09,544 --> 00:25:11,546
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going.
486
00:25:11,712 --> 00:25:13,089
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm gonna go to it.
487
00:25:13,256 --> 00:25:14,841
That's actually why
I came looking for you.
488
00:25:15,007 --> 00:25:17,218
Me and the guys are gonna go
to a liquor store after class.
489
00:25:17,385 --> 00:25:18,970
And I just thought, you know,
490
00:25:19,136 --> 00:25:21,806
if you needed someone to get you
yours, I could do that.
491
00:25:21,973 --> 00:25:23,558
I could be that person.
492
00:25:23,724 --> 00:25:24,976
Yeah.
493
00:25:25,142 --> 00:25:26,686
Um, yeah, no, that would be great.
494
00:25:26,853 --> 00:25:30,231
That would save me such a hassle,
because I was gonna beg my sister.
495
00:25:30,398 --> 00:25:32,817
Could you get me, like,
a bottle of Goldslick Vodka?
496
00:25:32,984 --> 00:25:35,611
Yeah. That's the one with the
little golden flakes in it?
497
00:25:35,778 --> 00:25:38,489
- Yeah. The girly one.
- That's classy.
498
00:25:38,656 --> 00:25:40,408
Well, I'll pay you back
at the party.
499
00:25:40,575 --> 00:25:42,326
No, you won't.
No, it's my treat, miss.
500
00:25:42,493 --> 00:25:43,828
- Really?
- Yep. That's that.
501
00:25:43,995 --> 00:25:46,873
It's the first of many too,
so get used to it, sister.
502
00:25:47,039 --> 00:25:49,292
Oh, well, thank you.
503
00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:51,335
Yeah, no problem.
504
00:25:58,259 --> 00:25:59,719
I'm sorry. That guy walked by.
505
00:25:59,886 --> 00:26:01,053
- It was an accident.
- It's okay.
506
00:26:01,220 --> 00:26:03,347
I was gonna give you a nudge...
A punch, the friend thing.
507
00:26:03,514 --> 00:26:04,557
- It's okay.
- I didn't mean...
508
00:26:04,724 --> 00:26:06,183
- GABY: Hey, Becca.
- Oh. Hey.
509
00:26:06,350 --> 00:26:07,435
- Hey.
- Gaby.
510
00:26:07,602 --> 00:26:08,686
- What's up, Evan?
- Hey, Gaby.
511
00:26:08,853 --> 00:26:10,855
GABY: We should get to class.
BECCA: We're gonna go to class.
512
00:26:11,022 --> 00:26:12,648
- So I will see you tonight.
- Okay.
513
00:26:12,815 --> 00:26:14,400
- Really, don't worry.
- Okay. Sorry.
514
00:26:14,567 --> 00:26:16,694
- GABY: Bye.
- Sorry.
515
00:26:16,861 --> 00:26:18,195
Bye.
516
00:26:19,697 --> 00:26:21,407
Sorry.
517
00:26:21,574 --> 00:26:23,534
♪♪♪
518
00:26:29,165 --> 00:26:31,500
Where's that sack of shit Fogell?
He said he'd be here after lunch.
519
00:26:31,667 --> 00:26:33,210
I'm sitting here with
my thumb up my ass.
520
00:26:33,377 --> 00:26:35,421
I did it, dude. I even
offered to pay for it.
521
00:26:35,588 --> 00:26:37,632
It was pimp. I'm like,
I feel like a pimp right now.
522
00:26:37,798 --> 00:26:40,343
- Like one of those pimps.
- Whoa. That is fucking pimp.
523
00:26:40,509 --> 00:26:43,721
- That's what I was afraid of.
- Why didn't I think of that? Shit.
524
00:26:44,138 --> 00:26:45,765
(BELL RINGS)
525
00:26:45,932 --> 00:26:47,266
Sh... We're screwed.
526
00:26:47,433 --> 00:26:48,726
- Okay? We're screwed.
- Okay.
527
00:26:48,893 --> 00:26:50,978
This is what we get
for trusting Fogell, okay?
528
00:26:51,145 --> 00:26:53,356
He pussied out.
I know he pussied out.
529
00:26:54,732 --> 00:26:55,775
What are you making?
530
00:26:56,275 --> 00:27:00,696
I'm just drilling holes.
The last two weeks. Fuck it.
531
00:27:01,155 --> 00:27:03,699
What are we supposed to tell the girls,
that we couldn't do the one thing
532
00:27:03,866 --> 00:27:06,035
that we promised because
we're dickless incompetents?
533
00:27:06,202 --> 00:27:09,330
Now we're never gonna bone
because of that used tampon, Fogell.
534
00:27:09,497 --> 00:27:13,209
How'd he get into Dartmouth? I don't
get it. He's got shit for brains.
535
00:27:13,376 --> 00:27:15,336
All right, how else
can we get alcohol?
536
00:27:15,503 --> 00:27:16,879
FOGELL: Yo, guys! What's up?
537
00:27:17,046 --> 00:27:18,255
EVAN: Fogell,
where have you been, man?
538
00:27:18,422 --> 00:27:20,341
You almost gave me
a goddamn heart attack.
539
00:27:20,508 --> 00:27:23,719
- Let me see it. Did you pussy out?
- No, no, man. I got it.
540
00:27:23,886 --> 00:27:26,013
It's flawless. Check it.
541
00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:27,390
- Hawaii?
- Uh-huh.
542
00:27:27,556 --> 00:27:30,226
EVAN: All right, that's good.
It's hard to trace, I guess.
543
00:27:30,393 --> 00:27:33,813
Wait, you changed
your name to McLovin?
544
00:27:34,313 --> 00:27:36,649
- Yeah.
- McLovin?
545
00:27:37,692 --> 00:27:40,820
What kind of a stupid name is that?
You trying to be an Irish R & B singer?
546
00:27:40,987 --> 00:27:43,364
No, they let you pick any name
you want when you get down there.
547
00:27:43,531 --> 00:27:45,157
And you landed on McLovin?
548
00:27:45,324 --> 00:27:47,535
Yeah, it was between that
or Mohammad.
549
00:27:47,702 --> 00:27:49,912
Why the fuck would it be
between that or Mohammad?
550
00:27:50,079 --> 00:27:52,081
Why don't you just pick a common
name like a normal person?
551
00:27:52,248 --> 00:27:55,418
Mohammad is the most commonly used
name on earth. Read a fucking book.
552
00:27:55,584 --> 00:27:57,420
Fogell, have you ever actually
met anyone named Mohammad?
553
00:27:57,586 --> 00:27:59,422
Have you actually ever
met anyone named McLovin?
554
00:27:59,588 --> 00:28:01,757
No, that's why you picked
a dumb fucking name.
555
00:28:01,924 --> 00:28:03,217
- Fuck you.
- SETH: Give me that.
556
00:28:03,384 --> 00:28:06,804
All right. You look like a future
pedophile in this picture, number one.
557
00:28:06,971 --> 00:28:10,099
Number two, it doesn't even have
a first name. It just says McLovin!
558
00:28:10,266 --> 00:28:11,434
EVAN: What? One name?
559
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,186
One name? Who are you, Seal?
560
00:28:14,353 --> 00:28:16,689
Fogell, this ID says
you're 25 years old.
561
00:28:16,856 --> 00:28:18,441
Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
562
00:28:18,607 --> 00:28:20,693
Seth, Seth, Seth.
Listen up, ass-face.
563
00:28:20,860 --> 00:28:24,405
Every day, hundreds of kids go into
the liquor store with their fake IDS,
564
00:28:24,572 --> 00:28:26,073
and every single one
says they're 21.
565
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,451
How many 21-year-olds do you
think there are in this town?
566
00:28:28,617 --> 00:28:29,952
It's called fucking strategy.
567
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,288
Let's stay calm, okay?
Let's not lose our heads.
568
00:28:32,455 --> 00:28:35,624
It's a fine ID. It'll... It's gonna work.
It's passable, okay?
569
00:28:35,791 --> 00:28:38,377
This isn't terrible.
I mean, it's up to you, Fogell.
570
00:28:38,544 --> 00:28:41,130
This guy's either gonna think,
"Here's another kid with a fake ID"
571
00:28:41,297 --> 00:28:45,509
or, "Here's McLovin,
the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor."
572
00:28:45,676 --> 00:28:47,011
Okay? So, what's it gonna be?
573
00:28:48,429 --> 00:28:49,972
I am McLovin.
574
00:28:50,931 --> 00:28:53,642
No, you're not. No one's McLovin.
McLovin's never existed
575
00:28:53,809 --> 00:28:57,188
because that's a made-up, dumb,
fucking fairy-tale name, you fuck!
576
00:28:57,354 --> 00:28:59,732
Jeez, man. It'll work.
Give it a chance.
577
00:28:59,899 --> 00:29:01,317
Did you move my...?
578
00:29:01,484 --> 00:29:02,777
Where is my car?
579
00:29:02,943 --> 00:29:04,195
EVAN: Oh, my God, man.
580
00:29:04,361 --> 00:29:07,239
Didn't I tell you? What did I say to you?
I told you not to park here.
581
00:29:07,406 --> 00:29:09,533
Why would you park
in the staff parking lot?
582
00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:11,035
Shut the fuck up, Fogell.
583
00:29:11,202 --> 00:29:13,829
I mean, because you're not staff.
584
00:29:13,996 --> 00:29:17,541
I know that, Fagell!
I know that!
585
00:29:19,919 --> 00:29:21,837
Evan, let's go to your house.
586
00:29:22,922 --> 00:29:25,591
Wait, are you guys
still picking me up from work?
587
00:29:26,967 --> 00:29:28,594
Can you answer me?
588
00:29:32,348 --> 00:29:35,142
SETH: Man, don't you have
any non-infant clothes?
589
00:29:36,143 --> 00:29:37,186
- It'll be fine.
- EVAN: Yeah.
590
00:29:37,353 --> 00:29:39,522
Why don't you just wear
what you wore to school?
591
00:29:39,688 --> 00:29:42,817
No. I can't do that. I can't let Jules
see me in what I wore to school.
592
00:29:42,983 --> 00:29:44,443
It's completely unbecoming.
593
00:29:44,610 --> 00:29:48,030
No one's gotten a handjob
in cargo shorts since Nam.
594
00:29:48,197 --> 00:29:51,117
You know why I have to kill these guys?
Because you don't negotiate with terrorists.
595
00:29:51,283 --> 00:29:54,161
SETH: Oh, really? Yeah, that's what
we should be talking about right now.
596
00:29:54,328 --> 00:29:56,831
Then why don't you go to your house
and get some of your own clothes?
597
00:29:56,997 --> 00:29:58,374
No. That's the dumbest thing ever.
598
00:29:58,541 --> 00:30:01,710
If I go home, my parents will see that
my car's been towed and I'll be grounded.
599
00:30:01,877 --> 00:30:04,046
EVAN: These fucking terrorists
multiply like bunnies.
600
00:30:04,213 --> 00:30:05,548
Where did I leave the M16?
601
00:30:05,714 --> 00:30:08,175
Do you have any bigger clothes
or do you only shop at babyGap?
602
00:30:08,342 --> 00:30:09,718
(MAN SCREAMING ON VIDEO GAME)
603
00:30:09,885 --> 00:30:11,595
Fuck me. I can't...
604
00:30:12,138 --> 00:30:14,390
That's fun.
Why do they make that?
605
00:30:14,557 --> 00:30:17,685
If you can't even win,
then why am I fucking playing?
606
00:30:17,852 --> 00:30:19,645
Do you wanna go see
what my dad has?
607
00:30:19,812 --> 00:30:22,940
(RICK JAMES' "BUSTIN' OUT
(ON FUNK)" PLAYS)
608
00:30:43,419 --> 00:30:45,254
(MOUTHING)
What the fuck?
609
00:30:48,757 --> 00:30:49,884
SETH: What the hell is that?
610
00:30:50,050 --> 00:30:52,011
It's a fucking vest, dumb-ass.
611
00:30:52,178 --> 00:30:54,680
- I'm trying to look older.
- You look like Pinocchio.
612
00:30:54,847 --> 00:30:57,391
- No, it's just a vest.
- They got a lot of booze in there.
613
00:30:57,558 --> 00:31:00,561
If we get it now, we can get
to the party faster with Jules' shit.
614
00:31:00,728 --> 00:31:02,938
No way, man. I work there.
They know I'm not 25.
615
00:31:03,105 --> 00:31:05,191
Nobody said anything about you,
dick-mouth.
616
00:31:05,357 --> 00:31:07,443
You really fucked me on this one.
617
00:31:07,610 --> 00:31:09,445
So now I'm gonna steal the booze.
618
00:31:09,612 --> 00:31:12,406
Don't do this. I promise you
I'll get the liquor later.
619
00:31:12,573 --> 00:31:14,909
Mike Snider's ID always works.
So will mine, man.
620
00:31:15,075 --> 00:31:18,537
Mike Snider's ID doesn't have
one fucking name on it! Okay?
621
00:31:18,704 --> 00:31:22,333
I thought you Dartmouth guys would
be smart enough to understand that.
622
00:31:22,791 --> 00:31:24,251
Now Seth's gotta
pick up all the pieces.
623
00:31:25,377 --> 00:31:27,087
He won't do it.
Don't worry.
624
00:31:27,254 --> 00:31:30,466
I forgot to tell you, my mom said we
can have the TV from the basement...
625
00:31:30,633 --> 00:31:32,384
Shut the fuck up,
he's gonna hear you.
626
00:31:32,551 --> 00:31:34,386
Just be quiet.
Wait until he goes away.
627
00:31:34,553 --> 00:31:37,139
You still haven't told him
that we're rooming together?
628
00:31:37,306 --> 00:31:38,807
Fogell, shut the fuck up.
629
00:31:38,974 --> 00:31:41,101
And take off your vest.
You look like Aladdin.
630
00:31:41,268 --> 00:31:43,979
Okay. You got it.
631
00:31:52,696 --> 00:31:54,782
Hope piggy can run.
632
00:32:11,006 --> 00:32:12,508
How old are you?
633
00:32:12,675 --> 00:32:14,301
Twenty-two.
634
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,429
You certainly are.
That'll be 80 dollars.
635
00:32:17,596 --> 00:32:19,723
Oh. Okay.
636
00:32:19,890 --> 00:32:22,226
Thank you kindly.
Will that do?
637
00:32:22,393 --> 00:32:24,645
Certainly will.
Thank you, Seth.
638
00:32:24,812 --> 00:32:26,814
Hey, thank you.
639
00:32:34,321 --> 00:32:35,948
SETH: Oh.
640
00:32:37,366 --> 00:32:38,867
You dropped your purse, ma'am.
641
00:32:39,034 --> 00:32:40,494
Would you like some help
with your groceries?
642
00:32:40,661 --> 00:32:42,871
Well, that would be lovely,
young man.
643
00:32:43,038 --> 00:32:46,208
Would you like me
to buy you alcohol?
644
00:32:46,667 --> 00:32:48,711
That would be lovely.
645
00:32:48,877 --> 00:32:51,463
- Enjoy your remaining years.
- I Will.
646
00:32:51,630 --> 00:32:54,967
- Enjoy fucking Jules.
- I Will.
647
00:33:13,235 --> 00:33:14,903
MAN: Don't do it, kid.
648
00:33:15,779 --> 00:33:17,906
♪♪♪
649
00:33:19,074 --> 00:33:21,076
I never had a choice.
650
00:33:26,206 --> 00:33:27,708
(SCREAMS)
651
00:33:29,168 --> 00:33:31,045
You fucking killed her!
652
00:33:32,046 --> 00:33:33,088
No!
653
00:33:43,390 --> 00:33:46,393
Where's all the stolen liquor?
Did you hide it up your butt?
654
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,396
Piss off! I was gonna do it,
but there was a security breach.
655
00:33:49,563 --> 00:33:50,814
You never would've done it.
656
00:33:50,981 --> 00:33:54,276
Let's go to a liquor store and
watch your stupid ID get rejected.
657
00:33:54,443 --> 00:33:56,904
Wait, I'm gonna go put my vest
back in my locker.
658
00:33:57,071 --> 00:34:00,574
(THE FOUR TOPS'
"ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH" PLAYS)
659
00:34:23,972 --> 00:34:26,058
EVAN: All right. Here we are.
This is it. You ready?
660
00:34:26,225 --> 00:34:28,143
FOGELL: Yeah.
EVAN: Yeah?
661
00:34:28,310 --> 00:34:31,730
- Here's the money and the list.
- Change is yours. Keep the change.
662
00:34:31,897 --> 00:34:34,983
- Thank you. What's the list for?
- The alcohol.
663
00:34:35,150 --> 00:34:37,861
We're gonna get alcohol
for the whole party, okay?
664
00:34:38,028 --> 00:34:41,031
We put a lot of time into this list,
so don't fuck it up and get sambuca again.
665
00:34:41,198 --> 00:34:43,659
- It's perfect.
- Ouzo, bourbon,
666
00:34:43,826 --> 00:34:45,661
spiced rum, Goldslick...
667
00:34:45,828 --> 00:34:48,330
Goldslick Vodka. That's for Becca.
Don't forget that, okay?
668
00:34:48,831 --> 00:34:51,291
Raspberry vodka, Scotch...
669
00:34:51,458 --> 00:34:53,210
Oh, and Kyle's Killer
Lemonade. A six-pack.
670
00:34:53,377 --> 00:34:56,380
This is a lot of stuff, man. I don't
know if I can get away with all this.
671
00:34:56,547 --> 00:34:58,048
What difference does
it make how much it is?
672
00:34:58,215 --> 00:35:01,510
I don't know, man.
I'm, like, really nervous.
673
00:35:02,094 --> 00:35:04,596
- Are you okay?
- No, man. I should have wore the vest.
674
00:35:04,763 --> 00:35:07,141
- Calm down.
- What the fuck are you doing?
675
00:35:07,307 --> 00:35:09,184
What if I go in there
and they turn me down, man?
676
00:35:09,351 --> 00:35:11,270
Then we're in the same exact
place we're in right now.
677
00:35:11,437 --> 00:35:13,188
- Who cares?
- It's fucking humiliating!
678
00:35:13,355 --> 00:35:15,190
Everybody in the store
sees them kicking me out.
679
00:35:15,357 --> 00:35:18,485
What if they make me put the liquor
back on the shelf? I can't do that.
680
00:35:18,652 --> 00:35:21,029
This whole thing
is bigger than you, Fogell!
681
00:35:21,196 --> 00:35:24,616
So grow a pair of nuts and fucking
walk in there and buy the alcohol!
682
00:35:25,117 --> 00:35:27,369
What if I don't feel like it
anymore, Seth? What?
683
00:35:27,536 --> 00:35:29,371
Then I'll fucking kill you, okay?
684
00:35:29,538 --> 00:35:31,540
I'll get a knife and stab you
through your fucking heart.
685
00:35:31,707 --> 00:35:33,208
No, you can do this, man.
Come on.
686
00:35:33,375 --> 00:35:36,295
Killing me won't get you alcohol,
jerk off. I'm the one with the fake ID.
687
00:35:36,462 --> 00:35:38,505
Then I'll cut
your dumb fucking face off
688
00:35:38,672 --> 00:35:41,800
throw it over mine and get your ID
and buy it my-fucking-self!
689
00:35:41,967 --> 00:35:44,887
Oh, really? You don't have the
technology or the steady hands
690
00:35:45,053 --> 00:35:47,055
to pull off a procedure
like that, so ha!
691
00:35:47,222 --> 00:35:48,724
Peace.
692
00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:51,852
EVAN: Fogell, just be cool, man.
Get in and get out.
693
00:35:52,019 --> 00:35:53,061
You're the hero.
694
00:35:55,856 --> 00:35:57,357
Sorry.
695
00:36:01,153 --> 00:36:03,238
♪♪♪
696
00:36:03,530 --> 00:36:05,616
(INAUDIBLE DIALOG)
697
00:36:27,429 --> 00:36:29,097
Is there a problem here, sir?
Mm-mm.
698
00:36:29,264 --> 00:36:32,643
No. Mm-mm.
No problem whatsoever.
699
00:36:35,812 --> 00:36:38,524
Sir, did you do this?
On the floor?
700
00:36:38,690 --> 00:36:40,192
No.
701
00:36:40,359 --> 00:36:42,027
And you should really clean this up.
702
00:36:42,194 --> 00:36:44,404
Someone could really
hurt themselves.
703
00:36:46,114 --> 00:36:48,033
Fuck my life.
704
00:36:48,617 --> 00:36:50,077
We're so fucked.
We're so fucked.
705
00:36:50,244 --> 00:36:52,120
This plan's been fucked
since Jump Street, man.
706
00:36:52,287 --> 00:36:54,915
Okay, just calm down.
Just calm down, all right?
707
00:36:55,415 --> 00:36:58,168
Hey, so did you bring
a condom for tonight?
708
00:36:58,335 --> 00:37:00,295
You brought a condom with you?
709
00:37:00,462 --> 00:37:02,381
Yeah. I figured
I might as well, you know?
710
00:37:02,548 --> 00:37:05,133
I brought a little bottle
of spermicidal lube too.
711
00:37:07,678 --> 00:37:10,472
But you laughed in my face when
I said I'd be having sex tonight.
712
00:37:10,639 --> 00:37:12,975
Yeah, that doesn't mean you
shouldn't always be prepared.
713
00:37:13,141 --> 00:37:15,477
- You didn't even bring a condom?
- No.
714
00:37:15,644 --> 00:37:17,479
No, Evan, that wasn't
part of the plan.
715
00:37:17,646 --> 00:37:19,731
I can't believe you did this
without consulting with me about it.
716
00:37:19,898 --> 00:37:23,610
Why are you talking about a plan? We've never discussed,
like, any plan, but you keep saying we have a plan.
717
00:37:23,777 --> 00:37:26,738
I had, like, a general outline.
You know?
718
00:37:26,905 --> 00:37:29,741
I was gonna go down on her
for, like, several hours, okay?
719
00:37:29,908 --> 00:37:32,828
She would love that. She'd be smitten
by that. She'd go out with that.
720
00:37:32,995 --> 00:37:34,746
Or I dry hump
the shit out of her leg.
721
00:37:34,913 --> 00:37:38,000
Okay. Well, I just... I don't see the
harm in bringing one little condom.
722
00:37:38,166 --> 00:37:40,335
And one little bottle
of spermicidal lube?
723
00:37:40,502 --> 00:37:42,963
Yeah, one little bottle
of spermicidal lube.
724
00:37:43,130 --> 00:37:45,966
- Evan, that's psycho shit, man.
- No, it's not.
725
00:37:46,133 --> 00:37:47,801
That's, like, Charles Manson shit.
726
00:37:47,968 --> 00:37:51,096
What, do you think Becca's gonna be
psyched that you brought a bottle of lube?
727
00:37:51,263 --> 00:37:54,683
"Oh, Evan. Thank you for
bringing that lube for my pussy."
728
00:37:54,850 --> 00:37:58,020
I never would've been able to
handle your fucking 4-inch dick
729
00:37:58,186 --> 00:38:01,315
"inside my pussy without
that gigantic bottle of lube."
730
00:38:01,481 --> 00:38:03,150
- Okay, that's... That's enough.
- Fuck.
731
00:38:03,317 --> 00:38:05,986
These girls are 18 years old,
they're not dried-up old ladies.
732
00:38:06,153 --> 00:38:08,196
- They're good to go.
- Then I won't bring the lube.
733
00:38:08,363 --> 00:38:11,366
Don't make me feel like that.
I thought it was cool.
734
00:38:11,533 --> 00:38:13,869
- This is a nice kind.
- Let me see that for a second.
735
00:38:14,036 --> 00:38:16,079
- An impressive kind.
- It actually is kind of cool.
736
00:38:16,246 --> 00:38:17,998
- That's cool.
- Fucking dumb-ass. Lube?
737
00:38:18,165 --> 00:38:19,541
- That's fun.
- You brought lube?
738
00:38:19,708 --> 00:38:23,003
So you owe me 6 bucks because I'm not walking
over there to get it and it exploded.
739
00:38:24,630 --> 00:38:26,840
Hello, Mindy.
740
00:38:28,383 --> 00:38:30,427
(FOGELL WHISTLING)
741
00:38:33,055 --> 00:38:35,515
(CASH REGISTER BEEPING)
742
00:38:39,519 --> 00:38:42,147
I love that stuff.
Been drinking it for years.
743
00:38:43,523 --> 00:38:47,861
You know, I heard they recently
decided to add more hops to it.
744
00:38:51,448 --> 00:38:53,367
Um, okay.
745
00:38:53,533 --> 00:38:56,036
I'm gonna need to see
some identification.
746
00:38:58,205 --> 00:38:59,539
Really?
747
00:38:59,706 --> 00:39:01,958
Makes me feel young again.
Ha-ha. There you go.
748
00:39:04,586 --> 00:39:06,838
Oh, shit, it's Cary Hutchins.
749
00:39:09,466 --> 00:39:11,468
She had the biggest tits
I've ever seen, I think.
750
00:39:11,635 --> 00:39:13,512
EVAN: I heard she got
breast-reduction surgery.
751
00:39:13,679 --> 00:39:15,389
SETH: What? Making your tits smaller?
752
00:39:15,555 --> 00:39:18,642
That's like slapping God across the
face for giving you a gorgeous gift.
753
00:39:18,809 --> 00:39:20,102
She had back problems, man.
754
00:39:20,268 --> 00:39:23,397
And it's not just making them smaller.
They completely reshape them.
755
00:39:23,563 --> 00:39:25,565
They make them more
supple and symmetrical.
756
00:39:26,274 --> 00:39:28,235
I gotta catch a glimpse
of these warlocks.
757
00:39:28,402 --> 00:39:29,986
Let's make a move.
758
00:39:31,530 --> 00:39:33,407
- She's going around the corner.
- Come on!
759
00:39:39,746 --> 00:39:42,749
MINDY: Okay. Your total is 96.59.
760
00:39:44,084 --> 00:39:45,669
(SCREAMING)
761
00:39:52,634 --> 00:39:53,927
I don't believe it!
762
00:39:54,845 --> 00:39:56,930
Are you okay, mister?
763
00:39:57,681 --> 00:39:59,850
Ah! What the shit was that?
764
00:40:00,016 --> 00:40:01,184
(SHRIEKING)
765
00:40:01,351 --> 00:40:04,438
MINDY: I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.
766
00:40:05,897 --> 00:40:07,274
I don't believe it.
767
00:40:07,441 --> 00:40:09,818
I don't know, man. I think
she looked better before.
768
00:40:09,985 --> 00:40:13,196
But now that she can jog comfortably,
she's in the best shape she's ever...
769
00:40:13,363 --> 00:40:15,449
♪♪♪
770
00:40:16,783 --> 00:40:18,577
What is this? What's that?
771
00:40:21,288 --> 00:40:22,581
Oh, man.
772
00:40:27,794 --> 00:40:29,379
Holy shit, they busted Fogell.
773
00:40:30,464 --> 00:40:32,382
How did this happen, Evan?
Fuck, man!
774
00:40:32,549 --> 00:40:34,092
His dad's gonna fucking kill him.
775
00:40:34,259 --> 00:40:35,469
MINDY: Look, okay?
776
00:40:35,635 --> 00:40:39,014
He assaulted the customer,
grabbed the cash and ran out.
777
00:40:39,181 --> 00:40:40,223
So...
778
00:40:40,390 --> 00:40:42,058
- How...?
- How...? How...? How...?
779
00:40:42,225 --> 00:40:45,645
- Say when, height-wise.
- I'm gonna start up here, tell me when.
780
00:40:45,812 --> 00:40:48,106
- I'll start on the bottom and...
- MINDY: When.
781
00:40:48,273 --> 00:40:50,317
Whatever 5'10 " is, he was 5'10".
782
00:40:50,484 --> 00:40:54,196
Ethnically, I mean, did...?
What...? Urn...
783
00:40:54,362 --> 00:40:58,992
I mean, was he...?
Was he like us, or...?
784
00:41:00,327 --> 00:41:01,661
A woman?
785
00:41:01,828 --> 00:41:02,871
- Female?
- No.
786
00:41:03,038 --> 00:41:05,540
- Is that what you're asking?
- No, no. Was he...?
787
00:41:05,707 --> 00:41:06,750
- Like, uh...
- MINDY: What? What?
788
00:41:06,917 --> 00:41:07,959
- African?
- Af... Af...
789
00:41:08,126 --> 00:41:09,669
- MINDY: Was he African?
- African.
790
00:41:09,836 --> 00:41:11,922
No. He was American,
and he was like you.
791
00:41:12,088 --> 00:41:15,008
- He looked just like you.
- He was Jewish. Okay, Jew.
792
00:41:15,175 --> 00:41:17,677
- It's an odd crime for a Jew.
- SLATER: They're pretty docile.
793
00:41:17,844 --> 00:41:21,515
Okay, so we have an African
Jew wearing a hoodie.
794
00:41:21,723 --> 00:41:25,268
No, you don't. No. That's not what I said.
Is that what you heard me say?
795
00:41:25,435 --> 00:41:28,271
I said he looked like you.
Do you look like an African Jew?
796
00:41:29,105 --> 00:41:31,316
- No, I look like a cop.
- Yeah.
797
00:41:32,609 --> 00:41:34,861
He was Caucasian.
798
00:41:35,028 --> 00:41:36,780
- Caucasian.
- Oh. All right.
799
00:41:36,947 --> 00:41:37,989
- Okay.
- Well, touché.
800
00:41:38,156 --> 00:41:40,492
Kind of looked like Eminem.
Does that help you?
801
00:41:40,659 --> 00:41:41,701
- An M&M.
- An M&M.
802
00:41:41,868 --> 00:41:44,579
- So he was circular...?
- Marshall Mathers. Eminem?
803
00:41:44,746 --> 00:41:47,999
- The rapper, Eminem.
- Did he look like this?
804
00:41:48,416 --> 00:41:49,501
I'm an amateur. I kind of...
805
00:41:49,668 --> 00:41:51,044
Because that kind of
looks like an M&M.
806
00:41:51,211 --> 00:41:55,590
Longer face? Bigger nose?
Would you say his mouth was wider?
807
00:41:55,757 --> 00:41:57,175
Open? A gap?
808
00:41:57,342 --> 00:42:02,222
Is there another squad car that's in the area
that could probably be of further assistance?
809
00:42:02,389 --> 00:42:04,057
I don't seem to be getting any.
810
00:42:04,224 --> 00:42:07,143
Okay, so just walk me through
again what this guy did.
811
00:42:07,310 --> 00:42:10,438
He... He... He came in,
he's wielding...
812
00:42:10,605 --> 00:42:14,901
He's wielding something. He hits
this small gentleman in the slacks.
813
00:42:15,068 --> 00:42:18,113
And then he jumps over you,
he feels you up, violates you.
814
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:19,948
- MINDY: I did not say that.
- No, he doesn't.
815
00:42:20,115 --> 00:42:23,785
Look, I can't do this. I told you
already, I have an exam tomorrow.
816
00:42:23,952 --> 00:42:27,330
Can you understand that?
I have a goddamn veterinary exam!
817
00:42:27,497 --> 00:42:28,707
(MINDY CRYING)
818
00:42:28,874 --> 00:42:30,667
Goddamn it.
This is bullshit.
819
00:42:30,834 --> 00:42:33,587
This is some bullshit.
I got an exam tomorrow. Forget this.
820
00:42:33,753 --> 00:42:35,672
Well, apparently
someone has an exam.
821
00:42:35,839 --> 00:42:37,507
MICHAELS: How'd you know?
822
00:42:38,341 --> 00:42:40,010
You. You're the one
that got punched?
823
00:42:40,176 --> 00:42:41,845
- Yeah.
- Okay.
824
00:42:42,012 --> 00:42:44,055
First things first.
What is your name?
825
00:42:44,222 --> 00:42:45,640
Uh...
826
00:42:48,268 --> 00:42:50,020
My name?
827
00:42:50,186 --> 00:42:54,024
It's M... McLov... McLovin.
828
00:42:54,608 --> 00:42:56,109
McLovin?
829
00:42:56,276 --> 00:42:58,570
Yeah. Mm-hm.
830
00:42:58,737 --> 00:43:00,238
Now, what's your first name?
831
00:43:00,405 --> 00:43:01,656
What?
832
00:43:01,823 --> 00:43:03,700
- Your first name?
- My first name?
833
00:43:04,910 --> 00:43:09,623
Technically I don't have a first name,
so don't worry about my first name.
834
00:43:10,665 --> 00:43:12,876
But we're the police.
835
00:43:13,043 --> 00:43:14,878
SLATER: We just wanna
get the story straight.
836
00:43:16,379 --> 00:43:17,589
- Come on.
- Fuck, man.
837
00:43:17,756 --> 00:43:20,216
- Come on!
- He must be so afraid.
838
00:43:20,383 --> 00:43:23,386
I don't believe this bullshit.
I can't believe this is happening!
839
00:43:23,553 --> 00:43:27,057
I didn't know you could get arrested
for this shit. We need that liquor.
840
00:43:27,223 --> 00:43:29,893
- Are they gonna take him downtown?
- Fuck Fogell.
841
00:43:30,060 --> 00:43:31,937
He got arrested, okay?
We're on our own.
842
00:43:32,103 --> 00:43:33,688
We need a new way to get liq...
843
00:43:33,855 --> 00:43:37,484
Fuck! The money, man! Fuck!
How much money can you get?
844
00:43:37,651 --> 00:43:39,861
Why are you talking about money, man?
What about Fogell?
845
00:43:40,028 --> 00:43:43,698
That doesn't matter anymore.
I lost a hundred dollars of Jules' money.
846
00:43:43,865 --> 00:43:47,494
What am I gonna do, bust him out of jail'?
I'm gonna bake him a cake with a fucking file in it?
847
00:43:47,661 --> 00:43:51,748
Fuck Fogell. We need a new way to get liquor, which is
fucking impossible because we don't have any money.
848
00:43:51,915 --> 00:43:53,458
Fuck!
All right, you need to calm down.
849
00:43:53,625 --> 00:43:54,876
We need to think for a second.
850
00:43:55,043 --> 00:43:57,837
- We just need to think this out.
- Fuck thinking, we need to act!
851
00:43:58,004 --> 00:43:59,798
(TIRES SCREECH)
852
00:43:59,965 --> 00:44:01,424
EVAN: Whoa. Seth!
853
00:44:01,591 --> 00:44:04,427
- SETH: What the fuck happened?
- Just... Just get up. Slowly.
854
00:44:04,594 --> 00:44:07,430
You all right? You okay?
855
00:44:07,597 --> 00:44:10,558
I am so sorry, man.
I am so sorry.
856
00:44:10,725 --> 00:44:14,771
I didn't even effing see you at all, man.
Are you okay?
857
00:44:14,938 --> 00:44:18,358
So it's just McLovin?
858
00:44:18,525 --> 00:44:20,694
Yeah. Mm-hm.
859
00:44:20,860 --> 00:44:23,113
- That's badass.
- That is badass.
860
00:44:23,279 --> 00:44:24,531
MICHAELS: Really cool.
- A badass name.
861
00:44:24,698 --> 00:44:25,907
Lot of people with
weird names nowadays.
862
00:44:26,074 --> 00:44:27,450
Chingy. Shakira.
863
00:44:27,617 --> 00:44:29,077
Rafe. Pax.
864
00:44:29,244 --> 00:44:32,414
We arrested a man-lady
who was legally named "Fuck."
865
00:44:32,580 --> 00:44:34,457
Think he was Vietnamese,
it was with a P-H.
866
00:44:34,624 --> 00:44:36,626
But it's still pretty
shocking to see on a license.
867
00:44:36,793 --> 00:44:40,380
- Okay, and how old are you, McLovin?
- Old enough.
868
00:44:41,756 --> 00:44:43,258
Old enough for what?
869
00:44:45,677 --> 00:44:47,637
To party.
870
00:44:51,933 --> 00:44:53,810
Can I see your ID?
871
00:44:54,352 --> 00:44:56,479
Yeah, I think I have it.
872
00:44:56,646 --> 00:44:58,732
♪♪♪
873
00:45:16,332 --> 00:45:18,126
(INAUDIBLE DIALOG)
874
00:45:20,962 --> 00:45:24,174
- You're an organ donor.
- Bu-What?
875
00:45:24,340 --> 00:45:25,967
I didn't wanna be one,
but my wife insisted.
876
00:45:26,134 --> 00:45:28,011
I always give him shit
for it too. All the time.
877
00:45:28,178 --> 00:45:31,264
I say, "It's just like a woman.
Even after you're dead",
878
00:45:31,431 --> 00:45:34,517
- ...they wanna tear your heart out."
- They wanna tear your heart out.
879
00:45:34,684 --> 00:45:37,520
- I say it weekly and it's still funny.
- It still makes me laugh.
880
00:45:37,687 --> 00:45:39,147
- Really funny.
- There you go.
881
00:45:39,314 --> 00:45:42,442
I'm sorry, guys.
I don't really have any information.
882
00:45:42,609 --> 00:45:45,195
He just kind of hit me, and I didn't
really see what he looked like.
883
00:45:45,361 --> 00:45:47,781
- I don't know if I can help you.
- You in a hurry or something?
884
00:45:47,947 --> 00:45:50,033
Yeah, kind of had
to catch that bus.
885
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,912
- Where were you headed?
- Uh, near 13th and Granville.
886
00:45:54,704 --> 00:45:57,540
- We can take you there.
- Get your information on the way.
887
00:45:57,707 --> 00:46:00,001
- Why waste 2 bucks?
- We'll take you. No problem.
888
00:46:00,168 --> 00:46:03,838
Please don't report me, man. We can figure this
out, right? We can figure this out, right?
889
00:46:04,005 --> 00:46:06,633
Why the fuck wouldn't I report you?
You just hit me with your car.
890
00:46:08,676 --> 00:46:10,720
Because I'll do anything.
891
00:46:10,887 --> 00:46:13,431
Please, okay? Anything.
Like, literally,
892
00:46:13,598 --> 00:46:15,058
fucking anything.
893
00:46:15,225 --> 00:46:18,853
Name anything.
Name it. Name it.
894
00:46:19,896 --> 00:46:22,690
All right, look.
Hey, man. All right.
895
00:46:22,857 --> 00:46:24,359
Listen, you can trust me, okay?
896
00:46:24,526 --> 00:46:27,320
I'm gonna be
totally honest with you.
897
00:46:29,155 --> 00:46:31,616
I have a warrant out
for a totally nonviolent crime.
898
00:46:31,783 --> 00:46:35,537
Okay? There.
Mercy street, guys.
899
00:46:35,703 --> 00:46:37,455
Well, I'll be honest
with you for a second.
900
00:46:37,622 --> 00:46:39,874
You better get us a shitload of
cash or a shitload of alcohol
901
00:46:40,041 --> 00:46:41,751
or you're going to fucking prison.
902
00:46:41,918 --> 00:46:44,045
What are you doing, man?
You don't need to...
903
00:46:44,212 --> 00:46:46,131
No, let's not... Let's
hang on a second here.
904
00:46:46,297 --> 00:46:47,549
- Cough it up.
- Fine.
905
00:46:47,715 --> 00:46:49,551
I don't know if we should
be doing anything too official.
906
00:46:49,717 --> 00:46:52,679
Let's work together. We're working together.
It's like Let's Make a Deal. Here we go.
907
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:55,265
Seven bucks?
908
00:46:55,431 --> 00:46:58,226
Are you fucking serious? This isn't enough
for anything. What are you, a 6-year-old?
909
00:46:58,393 --> 00:47:02,063
- It's all I have, man. It's all I have.
- You better think of something quickly.
910
00:47:02,230 --> 00:47:06,317
- Ah! My back! My back. Cops, my back.
- No, no, no. Wait, don't do that.
911
00:47:06,484 --> 00:47:08,778
All right, listen.
I can get you alcohol.
912
00:47:08,945 --> 00:47:11,156
I'm going over to this party
right now, bro. Okay?
913
00:47:11,322 --> 00:47:15,285
It's got booze, it's got girls.
Booze and girls equals...
914
00:47:15,451 --> 00:47:17,704
I don't know. Do you?
I don't know. Do you?
915
00:47:17,871 --> 00:47:20,790
- I think you do. Do you?
- Yes. That's a definite yes.
916
00:47:20,957 --> 00:47:22,000
Definite yes, then.
917
00:47:22,167 --> 00:47:24,502
- Give me one see to talk to him.
- Stay right here.
918
00:47:24,711 --> 00:47:28,047
Yeah, yeah. Do what you gotta do. Mix it
over. I'll be over by the car. It's cool.
919
00:47:28,214 --> 00:47:31,176
Just talk it out.
Hey, I'm a nice guy.
920
00:47:31,968 --> 00:47:34,137
- Come on, it's great.
- What are you thinking, man?
921
00:47:34,304 --> 00:47:35,805
- What are you doing?
- What?
922
00:47:35,972 --> 00:47:38,433
I lost Jules' money,
Fogell's dead to us now,
923
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:40,101
we don't have any
other choices. Let's go.
924
00:47:40,268 --> 00:47:43,396
I don't like this idea. This guy's
fucking creepy, man. Look at him.
925
00:47:43,563 --> 00:47:46,357
What? He looks like a guy.
That's what guys look like.
926
00:47:46,524 --> 00:47:49,194
- What is your problem?
- You guys know a guy named Jimmy?
927
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,613
You totally look like his brother.
928
00:47:51,779 --> 00:47:54,282
You totally look
like his brother, man.
929
00:47:54,449 --> 00:47:56,034
You do.
930
00:47:57,702 --> 00:47:59,537
You promised Becca
you'd get her alcohol.
931
00:47:59,704 --> 00:48:01,706
If you don't, she's gonna
have a shitty night.
932
00:48:01,873 --> 00:48:03,791
That's all I'm saying.
Come on.
933
00:48:04,626 --> 00:48:06,628
We bingo, bango, ready to go, go?
934
00:48:07,212 --> 00:48:08,421
MICHAELS: Good luck on
your exam tomorrow.
935
00:48:08,588 --> 00:48:09,797
SLATER: Good luck on your exam.
936
00:48:09,964 --> 00:48:11,132
You don't wanna
ride the bus anyway.
937
00:48:11,299 --> 00:48:12,842
MICHAELS: Buses smell like
piss, generally.
938
00:48:13,009 --> 00:48:14,052
- You know why?
- FOGELL: Why?
939
00:48:14,219 --> 00:48:15,261
MICHAELS: People piss on them.
940
00:48:15,428 --> 00:48:17,305
(MICHAELS AND SLATER LAUGHING)
941
00:48:17,972 --> 00:48:20,058
♪♪♪
942
00:48:21,976 --> 00:48:26,981
You know, one of you bros could've
come up and sat up with me.
943
00:48:27,148 --> 00:48:28,858
- We're fine back here.
- Back's fine.
944
00:48:29,025 --> 00:48:30,985
Safe in the back seat.
945
00:48:31,653 --> 00:48:32,695
(PHONE BUZZING)
946
00:48:32,862 --> 00:48:34,280
Oh!
947
00:48:34,447 --> 00:48:36,699
- Oh, my God.
- EVAN: What's up?
948
00:48:36,866 --> 00:48:39,494
- Hey, Jules.
- Who is it? Who's on the phone?
949
00:48:39,661 --> 00:48:41,162
Seth. Hey, where are you?
950
00:48:41,329 --> 00:48:44,832
I'm in a cab right now,
on the way to a liquor store.
951
00:48:44,999 --> 00:48:46,834
Okay, good. I can't wait
for you to get here.
952
00:48:47,001 --> 00:48:49,587
Well, I hope your friends
are ready to get fucked up.
953
00:48:51,130 --> 00:48:52,382
JULES: I'm sure they will be.
954
00:48:52,548 --> 00:48:54,801
- Okay, I'll see you soon.
- SETH: Peace.
955
00:48:55,718 --> 00:48:57,553
Oh, man! Dude, this is crazy.
956
00:48:57,720 --> 00:49:00,473
She called, she said,
"I can't wait for you to get there."
957
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,643
That sounds like she fully wants
it, man. Oh, yeah.
958
00:49:03,810 --> 00:49:08,314
Who's gonna give it to her, huh, my man?
You, that's who.
959
00:49:08,481 --> 00:49:10,733
Man.
960
00:49:11,067 --> 00:49:12,777
You guys on MySpace, or...?
961
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:18,783
(THE REMAINS' "WHY DO I CRY?"
PLAYS ON STEREO)
962
00:49:19,325 --> 00:49:21,661
(HUMMING)
963
00:49:25,832 --> 00:49:27,542
- Um, officers?
- Hm?
964
00:49:27,709 --> 00:49:29,877
I can answer those questions
now if you want me to.
965
00:49:30,044 --> 00:49:33,131
We get the gist of it. You were
buying beer, some guys punched you.
966
00:49:33,298 --> 00:49:35,508
Don't worry about it.
We're not gonna find them.
967
00:49:35,675 --> 00:49:37,552
- Case closed.
- Um, but it was only...
968
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:39,262
- SLATER: Uh-oh.
- Whoop.
969
00:49:39,429 --> 00:49:40,888
(SIREN WAILING)
970
00:49:46,477 --> 00:49:47,687
(SIREN STOPS)
971
00:49:47,854 --> 00:49:49,022
(LAUGHING)
972
00:49:49,647 --> 00:49:52,650
- But it was only one guy.
- Only one guy? Shit.
973
00:49:52,817 --> 00:49:54,986
How am I supposed to find
one guy in the whole county?
974
00:49:55,153 --> 00:49:58,614
This job really isn't how, you know,
shows like CSI make it out to be.
975
00:49:58,781 --> 00:50:02,452
When I first joined the force,
I assumed there was semen on everything
976
00:50:02,618 --> 00:50:05,204
and there was some, like,
huge semen database
977
00:50:05,371 --> 00:50:08,333
that had every bad guy's semen in it.
There isn't. That doesn't exist.
978
00:50:08,708 --> 00:50:11,544
I often go to sleep and dream of
waking up in a world where
979
00:50:11,711 --> 00:50:14,172
- ...everything is covered in semen.
- I mean, who doesn't?
980
00:50:14,339 --> 00:50:16,132
It'd be nice.
Like that crime scene today.
981
00:50:16,299 --> 00:50:18,760
If the man had ejaculated and
then punched you in the face,
982
00:50:18,926 --> 00:50:20,428
we'd have a real good shot
at catching him.
983
00:50:20,595 --> 00:50:22,180
- No way.
- Just punched in the face, no semen.
984
00:50:22,347 --> 00:50:23,890
No semen.
985
00:50:24,057 --> 00:50:25,350
MICHAELS: Story of my life.
SLATER: Oh!
986
00:50:25,516 --> 00:50:27,852
(SIREN WAILING)
987
00:50:30,396 --> 00:50:31,481
(SIREN STOPS)
988
00:50:31,647 --> 00:50:34,734
Michaels here, he's six months in.
989
00:50:35,693 --> 00:50:38,154
He's young, but the Force
is strong with this one.
990
00:50:38,321 --> 00:50:40,740
(IMITATING YODA) Learning you
are, young padawan.
991
00:50:40,907 --> 00:50:42,533
Thank you very much.
992
00:50:43,785 --> 00:50:46,204
- (IN NORMAL VOICE) That's Yoda.
- MICHAELS: You familiar with Yoda?
993
00:50:46,371 --> 00:50:47,872
From Attack of the Clones?
994
00:50:48,039 --> 00:50:52,168
WOMAN (OVER RADIO): We have a 245 at East
24 and Montgomery, Bailey's Bar and Grill.
995
00:50:52,335 --> 00:50:54,337
Car 98 on it.
996
00:50:54,504 --> 00:50:57,465
See, Michaels, you always
take a call at a bar because
997
00:50:57,632 --> 00:50:59,759
better or worse, you get
a beer out of it.
998
00:50:59,926 --> 00:51:01,719
- Wow.
- SLATER: Pretty sweet, huh?
999
00:51:01,886 --> 00:51:04,055
- True that. Amazing thinking.
- SLATER: Hey, McLovin.
1000
00:51:04,222 --> 00:51:07,308
We got a situation at Bailey's,
so we'll drop you off after, all right?
1001
00:51:07,475 --> 00:51:08,810
Actually, I kind of
have to be somewhere...
1002
00:51:08,976 --> 00:51:10,603
Sweet. Sit tight.
1003
00:51:10,770 --> 00:51:13,898
Set course for Bailey's Bar and Grill,
warp 10. Engage.
1004
00:51:14,065 --> 00:51:16,526
(SIREN WAILING)
1005
00:51:19,987 --> 00:51:24,450
FRANCIS: Yeah.
Welcome to the Thunderdome.
1006
00:51:24,617 --> 00:51:26,494
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1007
00:51:26,661 --> 00:51:29,288
EVAN: Hey, man, are you sure it's
cool that we're here with you?
1008
00:51:29,455 --> 00:51:30,832
FRANCIS: Oh, definitely, man.
1009
00:51:30,998 --> 00:51:33,000
I'm essentially
best friends with the guy,
1010
00:51:33,167 --> 00:51:35,128
so a bunch of my buds are coming.
1011
00:51:35,294 --> 00:51:38,131
Don't worry. We're gonna rock out
with our cocks out. Just kidding.
1012
00:51:38,297 --> 00:51:41,092
- We are gonna rock out.
- Just go, just go.
1013
00:51:41,259 --> 00:51:43,261
FRANCIS: What's up?
What's up? What's up?
1014
00:51:44,429 --> 00:51:46,931
Hello, hello. Hey, guys.
1015
00:52:04,615 --> 00:52:06,784
This is something
a smart person wouldn't do.
1016
00:52:06,951 --> 00:52:09,620
Look, just act cool and act
casual, and try and look old.
1017
00:52:09,787 --> 00:52:12,498
We'll get the booze and get
the fuck out of here, okay?
1018
00:52:16,502 --> 00:52:18,671
Hey, where the party at? Right.
1019
00:52:18,838 --> 00:52:21,632
MAN 1: You got those shots, bro?
MAN 2: It's coming.
1020
00:52:22,592 --> 00:52:24,135
Come on, let's party.
1021
00:52:24,302 --> 00:52:27,722
Come on. Do it up.
1022
00:52:33,561 --> 00:52:35,771
We should just grab one of these
buckets and get out of here.
1023
00:52:35,938 --> 00:52:38,983
Are you out of your mind? How are
we gonna get a fucking bucket out?
1024
00:52:39,233 --> 00:52:40,818
Hey, man.
1025
00:52:40,985 --> 00:52:42,820
What the fuck do you
think you're doing?
1026
00:52:42,987 --> 00:52:45,573
- What are you...? What? Nothing.
- You using my phone?
1027
00:52:46,199 --> 00:52:49,869
- What do you think you're doing?
- Hang on. Nothing.
1028
00:52:50,036 --> 00:52:51,913
What...? What...?
What's wrong, Mark?
1029
00:52:52,079 --> 00:52:54,457
You weren't invited.
Get the fuck out of here.
1030
00:52:54,624 --> 00:52:57,668
- Come on, Mark. It's cool, man.
- You using my fucking phone?
1031
00:52:57,835 --> 00:52:59,670
You calling your fucking
friends again? Huh?
1032
00:52:59,837 --> 00:53:02,173
You calling your friends,
your fantastic friends?
1033
00:53:02,590 --> 00:53:04,550
No. I mean, yes.
But I mean I'll...
1034
00:53:04,717 --> 00:53:07,136
Come on, man, just relax.
Mark, please.
1035
00:53:07,303 --> 00:53:09,514
Get the fuck out of here.
The fuck out of my house.
1036
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,182
Get the fuck out of my house.
1037
00:53:11,349 --> 00:53:14,519
- This is my house.
- Don't be such a dick, man!
1038
00:53:14,852 --> 00:53:16,312
What the fuck?
1039
00:53:16,479 --> 00:53:18,523
Mark! You really wanna
do this, man?
1040
00:53:18,689 --> 00:53:20,858
Here we 90.
We're really gonna do this?
1041
00:53:21,025 --> 00:53:22,652
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1042
00:53:22,818 --> 00:53:24,654
That's right, motherfucker.
1043
00:53:25,738 --> 00:53:28,032
MAN 1: Come on, pussy.
Get up, dude.
1044
00:53:28,199 --> 00:53:29,450
CROWD: Ooh!
1045
00:53:29,617 --> 00:53:31,744
FRANCIS: Oh, shit. I'm sorry, bro.
I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro.
1046
00:53:31,911 --> 00:53:35,081
Tiger got out of the cage, man.
All right? I'm sorry. Come on, Mark.
1047
00:53:35,248 --> 00:53:37,458
Let's just chill.
Everyone just chill out.
1048
00:53:37,917 --> 00:53:39,377
Truce, man.
1049
00:53:39,544 --> 00:53:41,754
(GROANING)
1050
00:53:42,713 --> 00:53:44,715
MAN 2: Right in the nads!
1051
00:53:47,134 --> 00:53:50,721
MARK: This is for your friends.
Here, have another one.
1052
00:53:50,888 --> 00:53:54,141
EVAN: Shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit.
Oh, my God. What do we do?
1053
00:53:54,308 --> 00:53:56,060
SETH: Come on. come on.
EVAN: Choose one.
1054
00:53:57,103 --> 00:54:00,523
- We can slip out the back, man.
- Wait, wait. Come on.
1055
00:54:00,690 --> 00:54:01,983
We're here. Let's
hurry up and do this.
1056
00:54:02,149 --> 00:54:04,277
Are you crazy, man?
Wanna end up like that guy?
1057
00:54:04,443 --> 00:54:07,071
Not me. I need my nuts,
man, for a lot of things.
1058
00:54:07,238 --> 00:54:08,990
- We need this liquor.
- No. You need it. I don't.
1059
00:54:09,156 --> 00:54:11,867
I'm just gonna tell Becca how I feel.
And then maybe she'll get with me.
1060
00:54:12,034 --> 00:54:14,370
I'm not gonna get her
drunk out of her mind.
1061
00:54:14,537 --> 00:54:17,331
Oh, really? Then how come you
never made a move, you pussy?
1062
00:54:17,498 --> 00:54:20,918
Because I respect her, Seth. I'm not gonna
put that kind of unfair pressure on her.
1063
00:54:21,085 --> 00:54:23,087
Come on, I don't see a problem.
Let's just do it.
1064
00:54:23,254 --> 00:54:26,007
We're leaving, okay? These guys could kill
us, man. You wanna get killed for liquor?
1065
00:54:26,173 --> 00:54:29,510
No, but I would get killed for
pussy, no questions asked.
1066
00:54:29,677 --> 00:54:32,847
- Fuck this, man.
- You're just gonna bail on me?
1067
00:54:33,014 --> 00:54:35,933
- EVAN: I'm going.
- Fucking bitch.
1068
00:54:36,475 --> 00:54:38,811
MICHAELS (OVER LOUDSPEAKER):
Move, people.
1069
00:54:39,770 --> 00:54:43,441
- Thank you.
- SLATER: Oh, I love this place.
1070
00:54:49,780 --> 00:54:52,450
(MEN ARGUING IN DISTANCE)
1071
00:54:52,617 --> 00:54:54,285
What the hell is going on in there?
1072
00:54:54,452 --> 00:54:56,704
If the bullets start flying,
hit the deck.
1073
00:54:56,871 --> 00:54:59,123
MAN 1: You pissed everywhere,
you son of a bitch!
1074
00:54:59,290 --> 00:55:02,543
MAN 2: Everywhere?
You didn't see me pissing anywhere.
1075
00:55:02,710 --> 00:55:04,462
Sir, I don't know what
you're talking about.
1076
00:55:04,629 --> 00:55:06,380
Take your nuts out of your shells!
1077
00:55:06,547 --> 00:55:08,174
All right, Michaels,
I got your back.
1078
00:55:08,341 --> 00:55:10,301
Why don't you show
this rummy how we roll?
1079
00:55:10,468 --> 00:55:11,802
10-4.
1080
00:55:12,345 --> 00:55:15,389
Excuse me, sir.
Stop what you are doing at once.
1081
00:55:15,556 --> 00:55:19,810
- Ah! Blue guys!
- Resisting. Resisting!
1082
00:55:19,977 --> 00:55:21,604
- Slater!
- Michaels!
1083
00:55:22,021 --> 00:55:23,314
Everybody stay calm.
1084
00:55:25,149 --> 00:55:28,319
- Everybody stay calm.
- Get the fuck out of my way!
1085
00:55:28,694 --> 00:55:30,488
Stay calm! Fuck!
1086
00:55:31,405 --> 00:55:33,324
- Should I shoot him?
- SLATER: No, no, no!
1087
00:55:33,491 --> 00:55:35,826
- No!
- Stop him, McLovin!
1088
00:55:35,993 --> 00:55:38,245
SLATER: McLovin, stop him!
Do it, do it, do it, do it!
1089
00:55:38,412 --> 00:55:39,455
(SCREAMING)
1090
00:55:43,250 --> 00:55:46,504
Please stop it, you fucking bum.
What the fuck?
1091
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:54,345
(SCREAMS)
1092
00:56:01,185 --> 00:56:04,188
McLovin! Nice!
1093
00:56:04,730 --> 00:56:06,691
He just came at me.
I took him down.
1094
00:56:06,857 --> 00:56:08,567
SLATER: I'm buying you a beer, McLovin.
1095
00:56:08,734 --> 00:56:09,902
I'm buying you one too.
All you guys,
1096
00:56:10,069 --> 00:56:12,196
take note. That's how
you take down a motherfucker.
1097
00:56:12,363 --> 00:56:13,739
SLATER: That's right.
1098
00:56:13,906 --> 00:56:16,534
McLovin in the fucking house!
1099
00:56:16,701 --> 00:56:19,620
(THE RAPTURE'S "ECHOES"
PLAYING ON STEREO)
1100
00:56:51,235 --> 00:56:55,614
Hey.
You dance hot.
1101
00:56:56,532 --> 00:56:58,242
Thank you.
1102
00:57:07,501 --> 00:57:09,670
(PHONE BUZZING)
1103
00:57:14,049 --> 00:57:17,887
Okay, okay.
Here we... Here we go.
1104
00:57:18,721 --> 00:57:20,431
- Hello?
- Evan, it's Becca.
1105
00:57:20,598 --> 00:57:22,892
Oh, Becca. Hi. Hey.
1106
00:57:23,058 --> 00:57:24,351
(STATIC OVER PHONE)
1107
00:57:24,518 --> 00:57:26,812
Hello?
Hello. Hey. Becca.
1108
00:57:27,188 --> 00:57:28,731
- Becca...
- Evan, can you hear me?
1109
00:57:28,898 --> 00:57:30,941
- Hello? What?
- Can you hear...? Piece of shit!
1110
00:57:31,108 --> 00:57:33,527
Guy sells me
a piece of shit fucking phone.
1111
00:57:33,694 --> 00:57:35,154
- Becca?
- It's Becca.
1112
00:57:35,321 --> 00:57:37,364
I get one bar
everywhere I fucking go.
1113
00:57:37,531 --> 00:57:40,326
- What is he saying?
- Fucking asshole.
1114
00:57:40,493 --> 00:57:42,286
- I think...
- What happened?
1115
00:57:42,453 --> 00:57:44,079
Son-of-a-fucking-bitch phone company.
1116
00:57:44,246 --> 00:57:46,957
- That's rude. Hello?
- Fuck. You suck.
1117
00:57:47,124 --> 00:57:49,335
Bullshit phone. Piece of shit.
Hello?
1118
00:57:49,502 --> 00:57:51,295
I swear I'll bitchslap you
so fucking hard.
1119
00:57:51,462 --> 00:57:53,130
- What?
- Bec...?
1120
00:57:53,297 --> 00:57:55,466
(PHONE BEEPS)
1121
00:58:00,513 --> 00:58:03,098
(NOTORIOUS B.I.G.'S "BIG POPPA"
PLAYING ON STEREO)
1122
00:58:37,091 --> 00:58:39,009
Thanks.
1123
00:58:40,678 --> 00:58:42,429
This is fucking crazy.
1124
00:58:42,596 --> 00:58:45,224
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
1125
00:58:51,438 --> 00:58:54,275
Hey. Look what
fell out of the truck!
1126
00:58:54,441 --> 00:58:56,360
(CHEERING)
1127
00:58:56,527 --> 00:58:58,028
MAN: You're full of shit.
1128
00:58:58,195 --> 00:59:00,155
Yeah, I know.
1129
00:59:00,823 --> 00:59:05,452
Dude. Dude.
We're so gonna get fucked up.
1130
00:59:05,619 --> 00:59:07,997
- All right.
- Hey.
1131
00:59:08,497 --> 00:59:11,333
What is that? Uh...
1132
00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:13,168
I don't know. What?
1133
00:59:13,335 --> 00:59:17,089
That fucking stain on your pants, idiot.
What is that?
1134
00:59:17,548 --> 00:59:19,717
- What are you talking about, man?
- Dude.
1135
00:59:20,593 --> 00:59:23,053
- Is that blood?
- SETH: What the fuck is that?
1136
00:59:23,220 --> 00:59:25,222
- Are you bleeding?
- I'm not cut or anything.
1137
00:59:25,389 --> 00:59:28,142
- Why would I be bleeding?
- It's fucking blood, man.
1138
00:59:29,268 --> 00:59:31,979
Were you dancing
with some chick in there?
1139
00:59:32,521 --> 00:59:34,773
- Yeah, so?
- It's blood.
1140
00:59:34,940 --> 00:59:38,527
- Dude, that's not funny.
- It's blood, dude.
1141
00:59:38,694 --> 00:59:42,239
But Why would I be bleeding?
Why the fuck would I be bl...?
1142
00:59:42,406 --> 00:59:44,241
Dude, Why would there be bl...?
1143
00:59:44,783 --> 00:59:46,327
(MAN LAUGHING)
1144
00:59:46,493 --> 00:59:49,496
Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
1145
00:59:51,665 --> 00:59:55,085
Oh, shit.
I'm gonna fucking throw up.
1146
00:59:55,252 --> 00:59:56,837
Someone perioded on my fucking leg?
1147
00:59:57,004 --> 00:59:59,089
- Oh, shit.
- What the fuck do I do?
1148
00:59:59,256 --> 01:00:01,550
I've never before
seen that in my life!
1149
01:00:01,717 --> 01:00:03,427
This is so disgusting.
1150
01:00:03,594 --> 01:00:05,095
- Yes, it is.
- I'm gonna go get Bill.
1151
01:00:05,262 --> 01:00:06,847
- He's gotta Check this shit out.
- Fuck, yeah.
1152
01:00:07,014 --> 01:00:10,267
No. Who's Bill? Don't tell Bill!
Bill has nothing to do with this!
1153
01:00:10,434 --> 01:00:13,020
Hey, calm down, calm down.
Let me get a picture of that real quick.
1154
01:00:13,187 --> 01:00:14,563
No, you can't have a picture!
1155
01:00:14,730 --> 01:00:16,607
- Dude, stop!
- Bill, Bill! Check it out!
1156
01:00:16,774 --> 01:00:18,734
This kid's got period blood
on his slacks.
1157
01:00:18,901 --> 01:00:20,736
It's merlot.
That's what you don't get.
1158
01:00:20,903 --> 01:00:23,572
Hey, Pat! This jerk-off's
got period blood on his pants!
1159
01:00:23,739 --> 01:00:25,741
- Please stop.
- PAT: God, man, let me see.
1160
01:00:25,908 --> 01:00:28,869
Oh, my God,
that's a fucking man-gina, man.
1161
01:00:29,036 --> 01:00:32,456
- Do you need a tampon? I could...
- Wait, wait. I have one! I have one!
1162
01:00:33,123 --> 01:00:35,125
Yeah, right? I don't know.
1163
01:00:35,292 --> 01:00:37,002
- I gotta wash this merlot off.
- Is this the line?
1164
01:00:37,169 --> 01:00:38,379
What does it look like?
1165
01:00:38,545 --> 01:00:40,255
Fuck me, right?
1166
01:00:55,479 --> 01:00:57,231
MICHAELS: Uh, yeah, I'm McLovin.
I'd like to buy some...
1167
01:00:57,398 --> 01:00:58,983
Oh!
1168
01:00:59,149 --> 01:01:00,234
(LAUGHING)
1169
01:01:00,401 --> 01:01:01,819
Shit.
1170
01:01:01,986 --> 01:01:04,321
MICHAELS: Rewind, rewind.
FOGELL: Rewind it. Yeah!
1171
01:01:04,488 --> 01:01:07,658
So hot. Let's see it again.
MICHAELS: Oh!
1172
01:01:08,993 --> 01:01:10,536
- Your legs lifted off the ground.
- Oh, my God.
1173
01:01:10,703 --> 01:01:12,454
That is bona fide badass, man.
1174
01:01:12,621 --> 01:01:14,999
You gotta keep that tape, McLovin.
It is badass.
1175
01:01:15,165 --> 01:01:16,500
- It really is.
- Really?
1176
01:01:16,667 --> 01:01:19,503
Well, don't you guys, like,
need it for, like, evidence or...?
1177
01:01:19,670 --> 01:01:22,881
The only thing that's evidence of
is you can take a hit like a champ.
1178
01:01:23,048 --> 01:01:24,800
Seriously. Take that.
1179
01:01:24,967 --> 01:01:29,596
Are there any ladies we'd
like to show this tape to?
1180
01:01:30,347 --> 01:01:33,892
No. You don't wanna meet a chick
in a bar, man. Seriously.
1181
01:01:34,059 --> 01:01:36,729
That was a major turning point
in my life, when I realized that.
1182
01:01:36,895 --> 01:01:41,150
You gotta go to other places. You gotta
go to a spin class, a farmers' market,
1183
01:01:41,316 --> 01:01:44,028
pumpkin patch,
given the time of year.
1184
01:01:44,194 --> 01:01:46,697
Just somewhere social,
non-threatening.
1185
01:01:46,864 --> 01:01:50,159
- You know, something like that.
- Yeah, I met the missus at paintball.
1186
01:01:50,325 --> 01:01:53,328
Yeah, I shot her in the neck.
And we just...
1187
01:01:53,495 --> 01:01:55,372
And we just hit it off, you know.
1188
01:01:55,539 --> 01:01:59,043
My first wife... Who is a
whore, by the way.
1189
01:01:59,209 --> 01:02:00,544
...Where do you think I met her?
1190
01:02:00,711 --> 01:02:03,589
A bar. A bar.
1191
01:02:03,756 --> 01:02:05,799
- It was this bar.
- It was this bar.
1192
01:02:05,966 --> 01:02:08,177
Yeah, it was this bar.
1193
01:02:08,385 --> 01:02:12,139
Bought her a Binion's,
complimented her on her tote bag,
1194
01:02:12,306 --> 01:02:17,227
and next thing I know, she's putting
her mouth around the tip of my penis.
1195
01:02:17,978 --> 01:02:20,064
You don't have to tell me that.
1196
01:02:20,230 --> 01:02:23,025
- Right in there.
- She opened up my world, sexually.
1197
01:02:23,192 --> 01:02:25,611
On our wedding night,
we had group sex.
1198
01:02:25,778 --> 01:02:27,196
I wasn't involved in it.
1199
01:02:27,362 --> 01:02:29,907
- But I could hear it through the wall.
- I was.
1200
01:02:30,074 --> 01:02:33,118
She was amazing.
And then it was exactly 23 months later
1201
01:02:33,285 --> 01:02:35,370
that I found out that
she was an actual whore.
1202
01:02:35,537 --> 01:02:37,539
- We discovered her on the street.
- Yeah.
1203
01:02:37,706 --> 01:02:39,166
I'm sorry.
1204
01:02:39,333 --> 01:02:41,585
SLATER: She was bad.
Fucking whoring bitch.
1205
01:02:41,752 --> 01:02:45,255
- But you got a new wife now, so...
- Yeah. Yeah.
1206
01:02:45,422 --> 01:02:47,758
And she is wonderful.
1207
01:02:47,925 --> 01:02:49,927
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You'll meet her.
1208
01:02:50,094 --> 01:02:52,179
You know what?
I bet I know your trick, McLovin.
1209
01:02:52,346 --> 01:02:53,347
You play the whole myst...
1210
01:02:53,514 --> 01:02:54,807
WOMAN (ON RADIO): Calling all units.
1211
01:02:54,973 --> 01:02:56,642
Just turn that off.
1212
01:02:56,809 --> 01:02:58,602
MAN (ON RADIO): Send backup!
There '3 so much blood...!
1213
01:02:58,769 --> 01:03:00,062
(RADIO CLICKS OFF)
1214
01:03:00,229 --> 01:03:03,774
I bet you play the whole
mysterious-guy thing, right?
1215
01:03:04,566 --> 01:03:07,778
Yeah, seriously.
How's it going with the ladies?
1216
01:03:08,028 --> 01:03:12,116
It's not the going with the ladies
I care about,
1217
01:03:12,282 --> 01:03:15,119
it's the coming.
1218
01:03:16,954 --> 01:03:18,956
- I get it.
- What is it? What is it?
1219
01:03:19,123 --> 01:03:20,457
Like:
1220
01:03:20,624 --> 01:03:22,292
Like coming.
1221
01:03:25,129 --> 01:03:29,424
- That's funny. That is really funny.
- Oh, my God.
1222
01:03:32,219 --> 01:03:33,470
Whoo!
1223
01:03:33,637 --> 01:03:34,680
(IMITATES RADIO STATIC)
1224
01:03:34,847 --> 01:03:37,599
All right, looks like we got a call.
We can't pay for these.
1225
01:03:37,766 --> 01:03:39,101
MICHAELS: 10-4. We'll be right there.
1226
01:03:39,268 --> 01:03:41,937
- Speedy Gonzales, let's go.
- We should get road beers, huh?
1227
01:03:42,437 --> 01:03:44,439
Hell, yeah, we should
get some road beers.
1228
01:03:44,606 --> 01:03:46,817
Can I have 13 beers to go, please?
1229
01:03:46,984 --> 01:03:50,237
Please. God, my fucking leg.
1230
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:01,290
♪♪♪
1231
01:04:06,461 --> 01:04:08,172
Fuck.
1232
01:04:31,737 --> 01:04:32,863
(PHONE RINGING)
1233
01:04:33,030 --> 01:04:34,198
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
1234
01:04:34,364 --> 01:04:36,742
- BECCA: I think it's him. Shh.
- Oh, is it him?
1235
01:04:36,909 --> 01:04:38,202
- Hello?
- EVAN: Hey, Becca.
1236
01:04:38,368 --> 01:04:42,122
Hi, I had a bad reception.
So, um, about your Goldslick...
1237
01:04:42,289 --> 01:04:45,042
- Guys, shut up.
- Hey, what's going on over there?
1238
01:04:45,209 --> 01:04:47,294
Oh, it's nothing. It's just...
1239
01:04:47,461 --> 01:04:50,380
Um, I was just calling, you know,
to see if you were coming
1240
01:04:50,547 --> 01:04:53,800
because I thought maybe you were stuck
at, like, a nightclub
1241
01:04:53,967 --> 01:04:56,553
or a cocktail party or something.
1242
01:04:56,720 --> 01:05:00,015
No, no, I'm gonna be there for sure.
Full throttle.
1243
01:05:00,182 --> 01:05:01,892
- Charlie's Angels 2.
- BECCA: Awesome.
1244
01:05:03,769 --> 01:05:06,104
- I can't wait to see you. Evan?
- Okay, bye.
1245
01:05:06,271 --> 01:05:09,608
MAN 1: That was the first time I ever did
coke. Off that bitch's nipple. That was so...
1246
01:05:09,775 --> 01:05:11,693
MAN 2: A little White sniff.
MAN 1: That was awesome.
1247
01:05:11,860 --> 01:05:12,903
That was gorgeous.
1248
01:05:13,070 --> 01:05:16,365
MAN 3: Hey, hey, hey.
You guys, stay in this room, man.
1249
01:05:16,531 --> 01:05:19,743
They're gonna kill that guy tonight.
That Chick's boyfriend is pissed.
1250
01:05:19,910 --> 01:05:21,495
Yeah. He's a beast.
1251
01:05:21,662 --> 01:05:24,748
I've been praying for a fight. I'm literally
waking up every morning and praying...
1252
01:05:24,915 --> 01:05:26,875
...to see a fucking fight.
BILLY: Hey, hey, hey.
1253
01:05:29,086 --> 01:05:30,254
Who's that guy?
1254
01:05:35,259 --> 01:05:36,301
- BENJI: Who is that guy?
- Hi.
1255
01:05:36,468 --> 01:05:38,553
- Who's this guy?
- Pleasure to see you fellas.
1256
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:39,805
Hi, everyone.
1257
01:05:39,972 --> 01:05:41,682
- Who are you?
- I'm nobody.
1258
01:05:41,848 --> 01:05:43,433
No, no, no. I know you.
I know you.
1259
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:45,978
He was at that party with me.
The one I was telling you about.
1260
01:05:46,144 --> 01:05:47,271
- No, no.
- Who is it?
1261
01:05:47,437 --> 01:05:50,607
Remember? He's Jimmy's brother.
The guy. The singer.
1262
01:05:50,983 --> 01:05:52,025
- No shit.
- MAN 3: He's the guy
1263
01:05:52,192 --> 01:05:53,735
with the beautiful voice
I was telling you about.
1264
01:05:53,902 --> 01:05:56,196
- The fucking singer, Jimmy's brother!
- That's not me, man.
1265
01:05:56,363 --> 01:05:58,115
- Oh, my God.
- Sing for us! Sing.
1266
01:05:58,282 --> 01:05:59,783
Oh, "It's not me"?
You fucking lying?
1267
01:05:59,950 --> 01:06:03,120
No, I don't mean to accuse you
guys of being ill-informed, but...
1268
01:06:03,287 --> 01:06:05,664
My brother came from Scottsdale,
Arizona to be here tonight.
1269
01:06:05,831 --> 01:06:07,249
And you're not gonna sing for him?
1270
01:06:07,416 --> 01:06:08,625
- Fucking bullshit.
- MAN 1: Sing.
1271
01:06:08,792 --> 01:06:10,961
- You're a fucking singer.
- You sing. And you sing good.
1272
01:06:11,128 --> 01:06:12,629
- BENJI: Sing it again.
- Like a bird.
1273
01:06:12,796 --> 01:06:15,507
- No, I know, I just... I want to.
- You want a line of cocaine?
1274
01:06:15,674 --> 01:06:16,800
- EVAN: No way, man.
- Yeah.
1275
01:06:16,967 --> 01:06:19,177
Don't make this weird. Sing.
1276
01:06:19,344 --> 01:06:21,555
MAN 3: Sing it again.
BENJI: Turbo.
1277
01:06:21,722 --> 01:06:25,726
(TED NUGENT'S "JOURNEY TO THE CENTER
OF YOUR MIND" PLAYING ON RADIO)
1278
01:06:25,892 --> 01:06:27,978
SLATER: Fuck! Over!
MICHAELS: Okay, watch this.
1279
01:06:28,145 --> 01:06:30,981
I'll get it right on the nose.
1280
01:06:31,148 --> 01:06:33,108
SLATER: You're gonna fuck it up.
You're gonna fuck it up.
1281
01:06:33,275 --> 01:06:34,318
Under!
1282
01:06:34,484 --> 01:06:35,819
(LAUGHING)
1283
01:06:35,986 --> 01:06:37,863
I feel hammered.
That doesn't make any sense.
1284
01:06:38,030 --> 01:06:40,657
- You're a fucking pussy.
- Okay, okay. Great, great.
1285
01:06:40,824 --> 01:06:44,328
- Okay, McLovin, see if you can do it.
- The kid's gonna nail it.
1286
01:06:44,494 --> 01:06:47,414
Come on, McLovin.
Do it, buddy. Come on, buddy!
1287
01:06:47,581 --> 01:06:50,208
- Bring it!
- 0.08, motherfuckers!
1288
01:06:50,375 --> 01:06:53,086
- Man!
- SLATER: That's my boy!
1289
01:06:53,462 --> 01:06:55,422
- FOGELL: Yes!
- Beginner's luck. Beginner's luck.
1290
01:06:56,256 --> 01:06:59,092
So, What's it like to have guns?
1291
01:06:59,259 --> 01:07:02,012
It is awesome, McLovin.
1292
01:07:02,179 --> 01:07:03,847
- I mean, it's mindbl...
- It's great.
1293
01:07:04,014 --> 01:07:06,808
I haven't had one for long,
only a few months, but I'll tell you
1294
01:07:06,975 --> 01:07:08,769
- it's like having two cocks.
- Yup.
1295
01:07:08,935 --> 01:07:11,104
If one of your cocks
could kill someone.
1296
01:07:11,271 --> 01:07:12,689
(LAUGHING)
1297
01:07:12,856 --> 01:07:15,484
- Can I hold one?
- What?
1298
01:07:15,650 --> 01:07:16,985
Can I hold one of your guns?
1299
01:07:20,197 --> 01:07:23,325
- Yeah, sure.
- Fine with me. Why not?
1300
01:07:23,492 --> 01:07:25,827
Everyone should hold a gun
at least a couple times.
1301
01:07:25,994 --> 01:07:27,454
Yeah, there you go.
1302
01:07:27,621 --> 01:07:29,998
- Have a blast.
- "Have a blast."
1303
01:07:30,165 --> 01:07:34,378
- That's funny.
- I've never held one of these before.
1304
01:07:34,544 --> 01:07:37,297
- Are they hard to shoot?
- Uh, if you're Michaels, they are.
1305
01:07:37,464 --> 01:07:39,216
- He can't shoot worth dick.
- What?
1306
01:07:39,383 --> 01:07:40,884
I can shoot. What are you...? Wait.
1307
01:07:41,051 --> 01:07:42,511
You honestly saying
I can't shoot worth dick?
1308
01:07:42,677 --> 01:07:44,596
- SLATER: You cannot shoot.
- I shot that cat last week.
1309
01:07:44,763 --> 01:07:46,056
It was already dead, man.
1310
01:07:46,223 --> 01:07:47,808
- I still shot it.
- That cat was dead.
1311
01:07:47,974 --> 01:07:49,893
There's only one way
to settle this, guys.
1312
01:07:50,394 --> 01:07:51,937
- MICHAELS: Shoot-off.
- Shoot-off.
1313
01:07:52,104 --> 01:07:53,647
- Shoot-off!
- SLATER: Shoot-off!
1314
01:07:53,814 --> 01:07:54,981
(CHEERING)
1315
01:07:55,190 --> 01:07:56,942
Dude, there's a lot of
reasons why I like you.
1316
01:07:57,109 --> 01:07:59,444
I mean, you're handsome
and you're a good friend.
1317
01:07:59,611 --> 01:08:03,657
Dude, there he is. That's the guy.
Hey, Mark, right there.
1318
01:08:05,409 --> 01:08:06,576
Oh, you got a stain too.
1319
01:08:08,328 --> 01:08:10,580
- We're blood brothers.
- Shut the fuck up.
1320
01:08:10,789 --> 01:08:13,333
You're in my house,
you answer my questions.
1321
01:08:13,500 --> 01:08:15,460
What were you doing
dancing with Jacinda?
1322
01:08:18,130 --> 01:08:19,423
I don't even dance. I just...
1323
01:08:19,589 --> 01:08:22,175
I don't even dance ever, so...
I've never even tried it.
1324
01:08:22,342 --> 01:08:25,011
Then where the hell did this
come from, asshole?
1325
01:08:26,471 --> 01:08:29,015
Maybe you and I rubbed up against
each other at some point in time.
1326
01:08:29,182 --> 01:08:32,185
I don't remember. Or maybe it was some
sort of ricochet scenario. I don't know.
1327
01:08:32,352 --> 01:08:34,438
- How am I supposed to know?
- Kick his ass, Mark.
1328
01:08:34,604 --> 01:08:36,398
Shut the fuck up, Scarlett.
1329
01:08:37,190 --> 01:08:39,943
Where do you get off
dancing with my fiancee?
1330
01:08:40,110 --> 01:08:43,405
(SINGING "TH ESE EYES")
1331
01:08:48,368 --> 01:08:49,453
To some girl.
1332
01:09:02,799 --> 01:09:04,176
BILLY: Talk about the hurting.
1333
01:09:14,394 --> 01:09:15,854
MAN 1: AW, Shit.
BILLY: All right.
1334
01:09:36,917 --> 01:09:38,627
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1335
01:09:38,793 --> 01:09:40,504
- Yo! Fight!
- Move it!
1336
01:09:40,670 --> 01:09:42,422
- Go, check this out!
- Oh, fuck!
1337
01:09:42,589 --> 01:09:44,591
And what the hell is this?
1338
01:09:45,091 --> 01:09:48,428
- I don't fucking... It's detergent.
- Yeah, what are you doing with it?
1339
01:09:50,138 --> 01:09:51,973
I got fucking blood on my pants.
1340
01:09:53,391 --> 01:09:54,726
Get down.
1341
01:09:54,893 --> 01:09:56,770
(SCREAMING)
1342
01:09:56,937 --> 01:09:59,397
What the fuck is this all about,
man? Are you...?
1343
01:10:00,398 --> 01:10:03,777
- Well, fuck me.
- Fellas.
1344
01:10:04,277 --> 01:10:07,280
Oh, shit,
I've been tackled by little girls!
1345
01:10:07,447 --> 01:10:08,615
You die! You're next!
1346
01:10:09,449 --> 01:10:10,659
(YELLING)
1347
01:10:11,284 --> 01:10:16,122
I should fucking kill you,
you motherfucker!
1348
01:10:16,289 --> 01:10:17,832
MAN: Hold him, Jimmy's brother!
1349
01:10:17,999 --> 01:10:20,293
- Hold him!
- What do you mean? No. No way!
1350
01:10:20,460 --> 01:10:22,212
- You humiliated me!
- SETH: I'm sorry!
1351
01:10:22,379 --> 01:10:25,966
- You used my leg as a tampon!
- I'm calling the cops.
1352
01:10:26,132 --> 01:10:30,887
Evan! Come on! Move!
1353
01:10:31,096 --> 01:10:33,765
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
1354
01:10:33,932 --> 01:10:38,144
Yeah. Fifth and Paysview.
Hurry.
1355
01:10:38,311 --> 01:10:41,064
Mark, I called the cops.
You should hide your gun.
1356
01:10:41,273 --> 01:10:42,899
SLATER: You're a fucking pussy.
1357
01:10:43,066 --> 01:10:44,317
FOGELL: Don't listen to him, officer.
1358
01:10:44,484 --> 01:10:46,361
SLATER: If you make this,
we're no longer friends, Michaels.
1359
01:10:46,528 --> 01:10:47,779
FOGELL: Shh. Cheating.
1360
01:10:47,946 --> 01:10:49,614
- You're a fucking pussy.
- You're cheating.
1361
01:10:50,699 --> 01:10:55,412
- Fuck me.
- Oh, suck on my nuts, Slater!
1362
01:10:55,579 --> 01:10:57,455
SLATER: All right,
you... That was a lucky shot.
1363
01:10:57,622 --> 01:11:00,834
- That was a lucky shot.
- I rule.
1364
01:11:01,001 --> 01:11:02,252
I got jizzed on.
All right.
1365
01:11:02,460 --> 01:11:04,504
- Can I shoot one?
- Yeah, go nuts. Go nuts.
1366
01:11:04,671 --> 01:11:06,172
Have a good time, man.
1367
01:11:06,339 --> 01:11:08,091
Empty the clip.
Empty the clip on it, man.
1368
01:11:08,258 --> 01:11:09,342
(SIREN WAILING)
1369
01:11:09,509 --> 01:11:10,594
Shit!
The cops!
1370
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:13,471
Bail! Bail! Bail!
Shotgun, shotgun! Damn it!
1371
01:11:14,848 --> 01:11:16,266
Shotgun.
1372
01:11:21,938 --> 01:11:23,898
(SCREAMING)
1373
01:11:25,650 --> 01:11:28,236
- What a rush.
- What do you guys wanna do?
1374
01:11:28,403 --> 01:11:30,864
- Man, let's get drunk!
- Let's get more fucked up!
1375
01:11:31,031 --> 01:11:33,158
SLATER: You're fucking
living the dream, Michaels!
1376
01:11:33,325 --> 01:11:34,367
MICHAELS: Oh, man.
1377
01:11:34,534 --> 01:11:36,286
This is gonna be
the best night ever.
1378
01:11:36,453 --> 01:11:38,121
WOMAN (ON RADIO):
Got a 257 at Fifth and Paysview.
1379
01:11:38,288 --> 01:11:39,331
AW, Shit.
1380
01:11:39,497 --> 01:11:41,499
All units in the area report
to Fifth and Paysview.
1381
01:11:41,666 --> 01:11:44,002
- Car 98, that's you. Do it.
- Fuck.
1382
01:11:44,169 --> 01:11:46,254
- Shit.
- Shit.
1383
01:11:46,421 --> 01:11:49,716
Car 98 on it.
You dumb fucking whore.
1384
01:11:49,883 --> 01:11:52,927
Hey, did she say we're gonna get
to shoot somebody or something?
1385
01:11:53,094 --> 01:11:54,429
SLATER: Oh, God, I Wish.
1386
01:11:54,638 --> 01:11:58,058
It's probably some lame house party.
We'll drop you off after. Cool?
1387
01:11:58,224 --> 01:12:00,560
Yeah, man. Let's show
these fuckers how we roll!
1388
01:12:00,727 --> 01:12:02,854
(LAUGHING)
1389
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:18,870
- You fucking prick.
- What?
1390
01:12:21,748 --> 01:12:25,752
- You bailed on me.
- I didn't bail on you.
1391
01:12:25,919 --> 01:12:28,004
Yeah, you did.
1392
01:12:28,171 --> 01:12:31,049
You said you were gonna do
something and you didn't do it.
1393
01:12:31,216 --> 01:12:32,384
That's bailing.
1394
01:12:32,550 --> 01:12:35,804
You're the one that dragged me to that
fucking party with those lunatics.
1395
01:12:35,970 --> 01:12:40,975
- I didn't bail on you.
- You bailed on me, okay?
1396
01:12:41,142 --> 01:12:43,603
You bailed on me this morning
when Jesse spat on me,
1397
01:12:43,770 --> 01:12:45,480
and you're bailing on me next year.
1398
01:12:45,647 --> 01:12:48,692
What the fuck? It finally comes out.
That's good, man.
1399
01:12:48,858 --> 01:12:50,819
We were supposed to go
to college together, Evan.
1400
01:12:51,027 --> 01:12:53,113
Since we were little kids,
since elementary school,
1401
01:12:53,279 --> 01:12:55,782
that's all we've ever talked about,
was us going to college together.
1402
01:12:55,949 --> 01:12:57,659
And you got into fucking Dartmouth.
1403
01:12:57,826 --> 01:12:59,786
You're making me feel
like I'm a bad guy.
1404
01:12:59,953 --> 01:13:02,956
What...? I didn't do anything wrong.
I got into a good school.
1405
01:13:03,665 --> 01:13:06,876
How the fuck am I supposed to get
into Dartmouth? You knew I couldn't.
1406
01:13:07,085 --> 01:13:08,586
How fucking selfish are you?
1407
01:13:08,753 --> 01:13:10,797
You had no problem letting
Fogell take the fall back there.
1408
01:13:10,964 --> 01:13:12,966
You obviously don't want me
going to a good school.
1409
01:13:13,133 --> 01:13:14,926
- Fuck, man!
- So what the fuck do you want?
1410
01:13:15,093 --> 01:13:17,929
I'm not gonna let you slow
me down anymore, Seth.
1411
01:13:21,057 --> 01:13:22,142
What are you saying?
1412
01:13:22,851 --> 01:13:26,604
I've wasted the last three years of my life
sitting around talking bullshit with you.
1413
01:13:26,771 --> 01:13:28,773
Instead of chasing girls
and making friends,
1414
01:13:28,940 --> 01:13:31,985
I've just sat around wasting
all my time with you.
1415
01:13:32,152 --> 01:13:34,779
And now because of you I'm going to
college a fucking friendless virgin.
1416
01:13:34,988 --> 01:13:38,491
Is this about Becca?
This is about some girl, man?
1417
01:13:38,658 --> 01:13:40,118
- I like her!
- Who gives a fuck?
1418
01:13:40,285 --> 01:13:42,495
She's some fucking girl!
You gonna go out with her for two years?
1419
01:13:42,662 --> 01:13:45,165
- What about after that?
- Fuck you, you're a piece of shit.
1420
01:13:45,665 --> 01:13:48,460
Fuck you! And next time you're
pissed off about something,
1421
01:13:48,626 --> 01:13:51,463
don't keep it inside for 10
years, say it like a fucking man!
1422
01:13:51,629 --> 01:13:53,089
- Don't touch me.
- Fuck you!
1423
01:13:53,256 --> 01:13:55,008
(THE GUESS WHO'S "THESE EYES"
PLAYING ON RADIO)
1424
01:13:55,175 --> 01:13:58,136
SLATER: Hey, McLovin, are the
numbers on your side odd or even?
1425
01:13:58,303 --> 01:14:02,056
- I don't know. It's too dark to see.
- We got flashlights.
1426
01:14:02,223 --> 01:14:04,017
Oh, that's true.
1427
01:14:05,769 --> 01:14:07,187
Bing.
1428
01:14:09,689 --> 01:14:11,608
Where the fuck are we?
1429
01:14:12,233 --> 01:14:13,443
- Hey, Slater.
- What's that?
1430
01:14:13,610 --> 01:14:14,861
(IMITATES ELECTRONIC HUMMING)
1431
01:14:15,028 --> 01:14:16,279
Slater.
1432
01:14:16,446 --> 01:14:17,947
(BOTH IMITATING ELECTRONIC HUMMING)
1433
01:14:18,114 --> 01:14:19,616
(LAUGHING)
1434
01:14:19,783 --> 01:14:23,453
Now, young Michaels, you will die.
1435
01:14:24,996 --> 01:14:26,664
All right. Come on, stop it.
I can't fucking see.
1436
01:14:26,831 --> 01:14:28,374
You can't see?
No, I can't see. Fuck it.
1437
01:14:28,541 --> 01:14:30,376
- How do you like it?
- Hey, fuck off, that hurts.
1438
01:14:30,543 --> 01:14:32,295
- You stop first.
- Not until you stop.
1439
01:14:32,462 --> 01:14:34,130
- Stop it, asshole.
- Hey, you stop.
1440
01:14:35,173 --> 01:14:37,592
- SETH: Fuck you, Evan!
- Don't fucking touch me.
1441
01:14:37,759 --> 01:14:39,552
(SCREAMING)
1442
01:14:49,103 --> 01:14:50,271
Why did you do that?
1443
01:14:50,438 --> 01:14:52,649
- You shined a light in my face.
- You shined a light in my face.
1444
01:14:52,816 --> 01:14:54,901
- I'm driving.
- We were playing Lightsabers.
1445
01:14:55,068 --> 01:14:56,986
- Excuse me.
- FOGELL: Oh, my God.
1446
01:14:57,153 --> 01:15:00,573
Are you guys gonna
make sure he's okay?
1447
01:15:02,909 --> 01:15:04,619
- Go out there and check on him.
- MICHAELS: You Check.
1448
01:15:04,786 --> 01:15:07,872
- You go out there and check on him.
- Fuck that. You go.
1449
01:15:08,039 --> 01:15:12,418
Balls. Okay, we'll both go
out there and check on him.
1450
01:15:13,837 --> 01:15:16,756
I can't believe this is happening again.
What are the odds?
1451
01:15:17,799 --> 01:15:19,425
SETH: Fuck.
1452
01:15:22,887 --> 01:15:26,641
- Is everyone okay?
- Yeah, we're great, thanks.
1453
01:15:26,808 --> 01:15:31,312
Hey, hey, where's the love?
1454
01:15:31,479 --> 01:15:35,984
- He's okay. He's fine.
- Stand right next to your friend.
1455
01:15:36,150 --> 01:15:38,027
- Get over there.
- I got them.
1456
01:15:38,194 --> 01:15:39,529
You got these guys?
1457
01:15:46,327 --> 01:15:48,204
You boys doing
a bit of drinking tonight?
1458
01:15:48,371 --> 01:15:52,542
- No, officer. Not at all. Not... We...
- We found those.
1459
01:15:52,709 --> 01:15:53,877
SLATER: I don't believe you.
1460
01:15:57,547 --> 01:15:59,716
Freeze. Stand right there.
1461
01:15:59,883 --> 01:16:02,051
- We're telling the truth.
- SLATER: Yeah. Keep it going.
1462
01:16:02,218 --> 01:16:04,512
- Don't be a hero tonight, guys.
- MICHAELS: Wrong night for that.
1463
01:16:04,762 --> 01:16:06,598
This is your fault.
You gotta fucking take care of this.
1464
01:16:06,764 --> 01:16:10,643
No. Look, I am not fixing your
mistakes again, okay? Fuck that shit.
1465
01:16:10,810 --> 01:16:13,104
I don't wanna get shitcanned.
I happen to like this job.
1466
01:16:13,271 --> 01:16:15,607
I like this job too. I get free haircuts.
I'm not taking the fall.
1467
01:16:15,773 --> 01:16:17,442
Okay, okay!
1468
01:16:18,401 --> 01:16:20,612
We're gonna arrest
these two little dipshits, okay?
1469
01:16:20,778 --> 01:16:22,530
And we're gonna pin it on them.
1470
01:16:23,156 --> 01:16:24,657
Yeah, do what you have to do.
1471
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:32,165
Spread your shit!
1472
01:16:32,332 --> 01:16:35,418
Get on the ground!
Loaded gun, ready to go!
1473
01:16:35,585 --> 01:16:38,212
Spread your shit!
Pussies on the pavement, fellas.
1474
01:16:38,379 --> 01:16:40,632
- Come on!
- Please don't shoot, sir.
1475
01:16:40,798 --> 01:16:43,426
"Please don't shoot."
Shut up and spread your shit!
1476
01:16:44,969 --> 01:16:47,889
I am the law! Okay?
1477
01:16:48,056 --> 01:16:49,223
Now hold hands.
1478
01:16:49,390 --> 01:16:50,808
- What?
- Why?
1479
01:16:50,975 --> 01:16:54,646
Because you don't want an asshole where
your face used to be, Whaling Jennings.
1480
01:16:54,812 --> 01:16:57,231
- Hold his fucking hand!
- Fucking hold my hand.
1481
01:16:57,398 --> 01:16:59,817
SLATER: There.
That's not so hard, is it?
1482
01:16:59,984 --> 01:17:02,445
MICHAELS: Here, McLovin,
have a Cigarette.
1483
01:17:03,655 --> 01:17:05,448
Smoke up.
Life's short, you know.
1484
01:17:06,157 --> 01:17:08,201
Suck it in, my friend.
1485
01:17:08,368 --> 01:17:10,995
Suck it long and deep.
1486
01:17:11,162 --> 01:17:12,664
Enjoy it.
1487
01:17:13,247 --> 01:17:15,833
McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.
1488
01:17:17,293 --> 01:17:22,548
- You like Officer Slater and myself?
- Yeah, you guys are awesome.
1489
01:17:22,715 --> 01:17:25,885
Thanks. We really
like you too, McLovin.
1490
01:17:26,052 --> 01:17:27,679
So here's what's about to happen.
1491
01:17:27,845 --> 01:17:29,305
We're gonna arrest these two guys,
1492
01:17:29,472 --> 01:17:33,059
you're gonna write a witness report saying
they leapt out in front of our car like madmen
1493
01:17:33,226 --> 01:17:35,603
and there was nothing we could do
to avoid hitting them. Sound cool?
1494
01:17:36,854 --> 01:17:39,774
- Yeah, that's fine.
- MICHAELS: Good.
1495
01:17:39,941 --> 01:17:42,276
SLATER: That's good.
Pretend he's your little sister.
1496
01:17:42,443 --> 01:17:44,070
Your little sister with the...
1497
01:17:44,237 --> 01:17:45,780
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1498
01:17:55,331 --> 01:17:56,374
What the fuck?
1499
01:17:57,625 --> 01:17:59,877
♪♪♪
1500
01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:10,304
Page"?
1501
01:18:12,598 --> 01:18:14,726
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1502
01:18:19,564 --> 01:18:21,441
MICHAELS: Shit!
SLATER: Shit!
1503
01:18:21,607 --> 01:18:25,403
♪♪♪
1504
01:18:25,570 --> 01:18:26,988
SETH: Run! Run!
1505
01:18:27,155 --> 01:18:28,406
FOGELL: Wait.
1506
01:18:28,573 --> 01:18:32,035
Hold on, I gotta get all the booze.
Seth, wait up!
1507
01:18:32,201 --> 01:18:33,911
McLovin bailed!
1508
01:18:34,078 --> 01:18:36,164
Chase the kid!
1509
01:18:43,755 --> 01:18:44,881
Stop!
1510
01:18:47,383 --> 01:18:48,634
Ah!
1511
01:18:48,801 --> 01:18:49,927
(MAN GROANING)
1512
01:18:50,094 --> 01:18:51,471
(SCREAMS)
1513
01:18:56,934 --> 01:18:59,395
(PANTING)
1514
01:19:05,777 --> 01:19:07,945
That was a fast kid.
1515
01:19:10,573 --> 01:19:15,036
MAN: I want a ride! You hear me?
You can't unarrest me!
1516
01:19:17,497 --> 01:19:19,040
Stop!
1517
01:19:21,125 --> 01:19:25,088
- SLATER: McLovin!
- Come on.
1518
01:19:27,006 --> 01:19:28,216
McLovin!
1519
01:19:28,925 --> 01:19:31,719
McLovin! Why?
1520
01:19:33,638 --> 01:19:34,722
McLovin, come back!
1521
01:19:36,140 --> 01:19:41,646
GIRL 1: Ow! My hand! Monster!
Nicole! Nicole, get Daddy.
1522
01:19:41,813 --> 01:19:44,315
GIRL 2: Get Daddy.
GIRL 1: Get Daddy!
1523
01:19:44,482 --> 01:19:47,151
- FOGELL: Oh, Shit.
- Get away from my kids!
1524
01:19:50,404 --> 01:19:52,615
You sick sons of bitches!
1525
01:19:53,282 --> 01:19:55,076
(GRUNTS)
1526
01:19:55,243 --> 01:19:57,120
SETH: Ow! What the fuck?
1527
01:19:59,622 --> 01:20:00,790
(GROANS)
1528
01:20:02,834 --> 01:20:05,336
SLATER: Michaels, are you okay?
1529
01:20:05,503 --> 01:20:07,338
- It's just beer.
- SLATER: Oh, give me a break.
1530
01:20:07,505 --> 01:20:09,132
- It's just beer.
- Man up.
1531
01:20:09,298 --> 01:20:10,925
What happened?
What, did you lose him?
1532
01:20:11,092 --> 01:20:13,886
He's a freak.
He's the fastest kid alive.
1533
01:20:14,053 --> 01:20:16,639
- This is not good.
- He's the fastest kid alive.
1534
01:20:16,848 --> 01:20:19,350
Fastest kid alive, my ass.
Come on. What are we gonna do?
1535
01:20:20,184 --> 01:20:21,394
I'll shoot my gun in the air.
1536
01:20:21,561 --> 01:20:22,603
(GUNSHOT)
1537
01:20:22,770 --> 01:20:24,272
Give me a fucking warning
before you do it.
1538
01:20:24,438 --> 01:20:26,274
MICHAELS: I'll scare him
out of wherever he's hiding.
1539
01:20:26,440 --> 01:20:27,525
This isn't gonna do shit.
1540
01:20:27,692 --> 01:20:29,443
Shh. Shh.
Get in the car. Get in the car.
1541
01:20:29,610 --> 01:20:30,820
This is your fault, you piece of...
1542
01:20:30,987 --> 01:20:32,071
(GUNSHOT)
1543
01:20:32,238 --> 01:20:34,282
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
They shot Seth.
1544
01:20:34,448 --> 01:20:36,617
They fucking shot Seth, I know it.
1545
01:20:36,909 --> 01:20:37,994
Holy shit.
1546
01:20:38,161 --> 01:20:39,245
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
1547
01:20:39,412 --> 01:20:41,205
Holy shit.
Ah!
1548
01:20:41,372 --> 01:20:43,416
- Should I run?
- Yes.
1549
01:20:47,170 --> 01:20:49,338
FOGELL: Fuck. Stop!
SETH: Stop the bus!
1550
01:20:49,505 --> 01:20:50,965
FOGELL: Stop it!
EVAN: It's stopping.
1551
01:20:51,132 --> 01:20:53,342
- It's stopping.
- FOGELL: Oh, thank God.
1552
01:20:56,053 --> 01:20:58,347
Hey, Evan, pay for me, please.
1553
01:21:00,641 --> 01:21:01,684
EVAN: That's me and him.
1554
01:21:02,727 --> 01:21:06,314
Hey, hey. It's you.
1555
01:21:06,480 --> 01:21:07,732
McMuffin.
1556
01:21:08,107 --> 01:21:09,525
- You know this guy?
- It's...
1557
01:21:09,692 --> 01:21:13,738
Ain't got no cop people to help
you keep your booze now, do you?
1558
01:21:13,905 --> 01:21:17,283
Hey! Back the fuck up, man,
or I'll beat the shit out of you.
1559
01:21:17,450 --> 01:21:19,577
- Give me the booze.
- SETH: Hey! Back the fuck up.
1560
01:21:19,744 --> 01:21:22,955
Back the fuck up. Back the fuck up.
1561
01:21:23,122 --> 01:21:24,832
EVAN: Please, please,
calm down, sir.
1562
01:21:33,966 --> 01:21:39,347
Goldslick.
1563
01:21:50,775 --> 01:21:52,902
DRIVER: Get off the bus
or I'm calling the cops.
1564
01:21:59,575 --> 01:22:01,661
Eat shit, bum.
1565
01:22:01,994 --> 01:22:04,872
Oh, shit, guys.
We're three blocks away, man. We made it.
1566
01:22:05,039 --> 01:22:06,749
We made it with the
booze and everything.
1567
01:22:06,916 --> 01:22:08,292
We made it.
1568
01:22:08,459 --> 01:22:09,919
Hold this.
1569
01:22:10,628 --> 01:22:13,172
I can't believe
you still have the liquor.
1570
01:22:14,173 --> 01:22:15,299
That's awesome.
1571
01:22:15,466 --> 01:22:18,552
FOGELL: Yeah, I told you the idea
would work. I fooled those cops.
1572
01:22:18,761 --> 01:22:21,764
I'm McLovin. Whoo!
I am McLovin.
1573
01:22:23,599 --> 01:22:25,017
Why do you guys have detergent?
1574
01:22:25,184 --> 01:22:28,187
I don't understand why you were
smoking cigarettes with those cops.
1575
01:22:28,354 --> 01:22:30,022
Because I fucking rule.
1576
01:22:30,189 --> 01:22:33,526
- We are so gonna get laid tonight.
- SETH: I am. I'm gonna get laid.
1577
01:22:33,693 --> 01:22:37,196
FOGELL: We're finally gonna get
our drinks on. Chica, chica, yeah.
1578
01:22:38,281 --> 01:22:39,991
EVAN: I can't believe
Becca's bottle broke.
1579
01:22:40,157 --> 01:22:41,575
- I'm sure it'll be fine.
- Yeah.
1580
01:22:41,742 --> 01:22:44,662
SETH: I thought you didn't need it anyway.
You were gonna tell her how you feel.
1581
01:22:44,829 --> 01:22:47,415
Good luck getting Jules drunk
enough to have sex with you.
1582
01:22:47,581 --> 01:22:49,542
- What's wrong with you guys?
- Nothing.
1583
01:22:49,709 --> 01:22:52,920
You two femmes can talk about it next
year at your little slumber party.
1584
01:22:53,087 --> 01:22:54,839
Oh, you told him.
1585
01:22:55,006 --> 01:22:57,675
- Told me what?
- Yeah. You're an idiot, Fogell.
1586
01:22:57,842 --> 01:22:59,677
- Well, we gotta tell him now.
- No, we...
1587
01:22:59,844 --> 01:23:01,345
Well, he knows something's up.
1588
01:23:01,512 --> 01:23:03,848
What are you guys talking about?
Tell me now.
1589
01:23:04,015 --> 01:23:06,225
Seth, me and Evan are rooming
together next year at college.
1590
01:23:06,392 --> 01:23:07,435
What's the big deal?
1591
01:23:07,601 --> 01:23:09,562
"Oh, my God,
Fogell's rooming with Evan."
1592
01:23:09,729 --> 01:23:11,480
Jeez, why don't you
go cry about it?
1593
01:23:11,647 --> 01:23:14,066
- I didn't tell you because...
- SETH: Because you're a backstabber
1594
01:23:14,233 --> 01:23:17,778
and you lied to your best friend and only want to
hang out with Fogell and you just don't care anymore?
1595
01:23:17,945 --> 01:23:19,947
I didn't expect this
from you, Evan.
1596
01:23:20,364 --> 01:23:21,574
Not from you.
1597
01:23:21,741 --> 01:23:23,993
Give me that booze, Fagell.
1598
01:23:27,538 --> 01:23:30,541
We never should have had
to hide our arrangement.
1599
01:23:30,708 --> 01:23:33,169
(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
1600
01:23:40,676 --> 01:23:43,054
- Seth's here.
- Seth, you're here.
1601
01:23:43,220 --> 01:23:46,223
Hi. Everybody, Seth has got it.
1602
01:23:46,390 --> 01:23:48,851
(CHEERING)
1603
01:24:10,206 --> 01:24:12,375
- GABY: Evan.
- Gaby, hey.
1604
01:24:12,541 --> 01:24:14,418
Where have you been?
You almost blew it.
1605
01:24:14,585 --> 01:24:17,171
- What are you talking about?
- Becca. She's been waiting for you.
1606
01:24:17,338 --> 01:24:18,672
She's over there.
1607
01:24:19,507 --> 01:24:20,841
She's way smashed.
1608
01:24:21,008 --> 01:24:23,344
And she's been yammering
about you all night.
1609
01:24:23,511 --> 01:24:25,346
Really? What was she saying?
1610
01:24:25,513 --> 01:24:27,640
She told you that she thinks
I'm a good guy?
1611
01:24:27,807 --> 01:24:30,434
No, no. She said
something more like:
1612
01:24:30,601 --> 01:24:33,145
"I willfully blow him tonight."
1613
01:24:33,354 --> 01:24:35,731
- What?
- I know.
1614
01:24:39,110 --> 01:24:41,404
- Yeah.
- EVAN: But she's totally hammered,
1615
01:24:41,570 --> 01:24:44,490
and if I get with her and I'm not
drunk, isn't that unethical?
1616
01:24:44,657 --> 01:24:46,742
Oh. Not if you're drunk too.
1617
01:24:48,035 --> 01:24:49,453
I guess not.
1618
01:24:49,620 --> 01:24:50,955
To Seth.
1619
01:24:51,122 --> 01:24:53,374
- ALL: To Seth!
- All right.
1620
01:24:53,541 --> 01:24:55,459
Who the fuck is Seth?
1621
01:24:55,626 --> 01:24:56,794
I'm Seth!
1622
01:24:56,961 --> 01:24:58,879
(CHEERING)
1623
01:24:59,046 --> 01:25:01,298
Let's do another one to me.
1624
01:25:12,309 --> 01:25:13,936
Oh, boy.
1625
01:25:14,645 --> 01:25:16,730
Calm down.
Calm down, man.
1626
01:25:16,897 --> 01:25:18,983
Calm down.
She likes you.
1627
01:25:19,316 --> 01:25:21,610
She wants to suck on your penis.
1628
01:25:21,819 --> 01:25:23,487
It's a good thing.
1629
01:25:23,654 --> 01:25:27,324
It's the best thing.
1630
01:25:28,117 --> 01:25:29,827
Just down the hatch.
1631
01:25:57,605 --> 01:25:59,523
Fogell. What's up?
1632
01:26:14,955 --> 01:26:17,541
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1633
01:26:21,670 --> 01:26:23,380
(GROANS)
1634
01:26:42,858 --> 01:26:44,860
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
1635
01:26:46,487 --> 01:26:48,822
Evan, hey. Evie, come here.
1636
01:26:48,989 --> 01:26:50,407
Can you please help me up?
1637
01:26:50,574 --> 01:26:54,203
I fell down and none of these
assholes will help me up.
1638
01:26:54,370 --> 01:26:56,956
- Shit.
- Becca.
1639
01:26:57,122 --> 01:26:59,250
I have been waiting for you
for, like, ever.
1640
01:26:59,416 --> 01:27:01,418
- What took you so long?
- I know, it...
1641
01:27:01,585 --> 01:27:04,088
- No, I can't even...
- Do you have my Goldslick?
1642
01:27:04,255 --> 01:27:05,923
It's such a crazy stow, okay?
1643
01:27:06,090 --> 01:27:09,426
- I swear I was try...
- It doesn't even matter.
1644
01:27:09,593 --> 01:27:12,137
Look. Look what we...
We can just drink this.
1645
01:27:12,304 --> 01:27:14,598
- Here. You could have a drink.
- Oh, no.
1646
01:27:14,765 --> 01:27:16,809
- I'm already pretty wasted.
- Take a drink.
1647
01:27:16,976 --> 01:27:19,395
Okay, here's to you.
This is to Becca.
1648
01:27:19,562 --> 01:27:20,688
To Becca.
1649
01:27:20,854 --> 01:27:23,232
- To the respecting...
- Guys.
1650
01:27:23,399 --> 01:27:26,485
...Women. To people
respecting women.
1651
01:27:26,652 --> 01:27:29,697
Okay. Yeah.
1652
01:27:32,116 --> 01:27:33,367
You're a lightweight.
1653
01:27:34,702 --> 01:27:36,120
Hey.
1654
01:27:37,121 --> 01:27:40,416
You and me,
we should go upstairs, because...
1655
01:27:40,583 --> 01:27:44,753
Because I need to
tell you something. Okay?
1656
01:27:45,296 --> 01:27:47,464
You could just tell me
here, I mean...
1657
01:27:47,631 --> 01:27:52,428
I can't tell you, because
it's a secret for you from me.
1658
01:27:52,595 --> 01:27:54,680
- All right.
- So come. Come on. Okay.
1659
01:27:54,847 --> 01:27:56,056
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.
1660
01:27:56,223 --> 01:27:58,475
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
1661
01:28:03,856 --> 01:28:08,235
You changed your name
to McLovin? Wow.
1662
01:28:08,986 --> 01:28:11,655
- That's so cool.
- Thanks.
1663
01:28:11,822 --> 01:28:15,743
Hm?
So, like, what's Hawaii like?
1664
01:28:16,368 --> 01:28:17,786
JULES: All right. I am back.
1665
01:28:17,953 --> 01:28:20,247
I had to thank the peeps
for coming out, you know.
1666
01:28:20,414 --> 01:28:22,958
Jules. I want you
to have a drink with me.
1667
01:28:23,125 --> 01:28:25,502
Just drink some of this.
You're gonna love it.
1668
01:28:25,669 --> 01:28:27,504
You're to...
I know you're gonna love it.
1669
01:28:27,671 --> 01:28:31,300
You know, I...
It's green beer. For your information.
1670
01:28:31,467 --> 01:28:34,136
You know, I'm actually good
right now. But thank you.
1671
01:28:34,553 --> 01:28:37,848
And thank you very much for
bringing everything, again.
1672
01:28:38,015 --> 01:28:39,683
Seriously, it really
made the night.
1673
01:28:39,850 --> 01:28:42,645
No, that's how I roll.
That's the thing.
1674
01:28:42,811 --> 01:28:45,689
It's no problems.
You'll learn that.
1675
01:28:51,445 --> 01:28:56,116
I love talking
and conversing with you.
1676
01:28:56,283 --> 01:28:59,328
But I can't hear you, though,
because the music is so loud.
1677
01:28:59,495 --> 01:29:02,706
So do you wanna go outside
and talk more?
1678
01:29:03,082 --> 01:29:04,667
Um...
1679
01:29:05,542 --> 01:29:08,212
Yeah. Sorry, sure.
You know, why not?
1680
01:29:08,379 --> 01:29:10,381
Let's do it.
I haven't conversed in ages.
1681
01:29:10,547 --> 01:29:14,051
- Okay. Ladies... Ladies first.
- Okay.
1682
01:29:15,052 --> 01:29:17,054
- Thank you very much.
- No problem.
1683
01:29:17,221 --> 01:29:19,682
- Watch your step. I fell earlier today.
- JULES: Are you serious?
1684
01:29:19,848 --> 01:29:21,975
SETH: Well, I was hit by a car.
It's a long story.
1685
01:29:22,518 --> 01:29:26,271
- BECCA: Oh, shit. Careful.
- Okay, well...
1686
01:29:27,356 --> 01:29:30,567
So loud. Don't let
the parents hear.
1687
01:29:31,193 --> 01:29:33,070
You look so pretty.
1688
01:29:36,365 --> 01:29:40,577
- Are you okay?
- I so flirt with you in math.
1689
01:29:40,744 --> 01:29:42,913
Tell me about it. I... Samesies.
1690
01:29:43,080 --> 01:29:48,669
I've wanted to tell you for so
long that you're the best girl.
1691
01:29:48,836 --> 01:29:53,757
I know. I've wanted to get with
you, like, so hard.
1692
01:29:55,342 --> 01:29:57,720
Like so hard.
1693
01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:05,561
You're the best.
1694
01:30:05,728 --> 01:30:09,273
We'll take this sweater off.
I think so.
1695
01:30:09,440 --> 01:30:12,735
Just be careful, because it's a
meaningful sweater to me. It's vintage.
1696
01:30:12,901 --> 01:30:13,986
Okay.
1697
01:30:14,695 --> 01:30:17,614
- Bought it at that vintage market.
- Just hurry.
1698
01:30:18,073 --> 01:30:20,617
- And this one.
- It's off.
1699
01:30:20,784 --> 01:30:22,953
Hey, wait, careful.
1700
01:30:24,079 --> 01:30:25,622
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my.
1701
01:30:25,789 --> 01:30:27,040
Put that there.
1702
01:30:27,207 --> 01:30:28,959
- Now, looky, looky...
- Oh, my gosh.
1703
01:30:29,126 --> 01:30:31,712
What I got for you under here.
1704
01:30:31,879 --> 01:30:33,714
You are the prettiest girl
1705
01:30:33,881 --> 01:30:36,800
this side of the Mississippi.
I have a little something
1706
01:30:36,967 --> 01:30:39,887
for you under here.
1707
01:30:40,053 --> 01:30:41,138
You look so pretty.
1708
01:30:41,555 --> 01:30:43,891
- Look so pretty.
- Under there.
1709
01:30:44,057 --> 01:30:45,934
Hello.
1710
01:30:47,144 --> 01:30:49,229
For you.
1711
01:30:49,396 --> 01:30:51,690
(HUMMING)
1712
01:30:53,817 --> 01:30:58,280
You're the best. You're so unique.
1713
01:30:58,447 --> 01:30:59,948
Come here.
1714
01:31:00,115 --> 01:31:02,493
Evan, kiss me.
1715
01:31:02,785 --> 01:31:04,620
I like you so much.
1716
01:31:05,662 --> 01:31:07,539
Come on, McLovin.
1717
01:31:07,706 --> 01:31:09,583
I've never been
with an older guy before.
1718
01:31:09,750 --> 01:31:13,128
Well, it's way better.
1719
01:31:13,295 --> 01:31:15,506
I know, we made some
kick-ass tiramisu earlier.
1720
01:31:15,672 --> 01:31:19,259
It was deli... It looked weird.
But it was delicious.
1721
01:31:22,387 --> 01:31:23,889
Whoa.
1722
01:31:24,056 --> 01:31:26,975
What...? What's wrong?
1723
01:31:27,559 --> 01:31:31,188
I... I would prefer
if we would just do that
1724
01:31:31,355 --> 01:31:34,942
at some other time.
1725
01:31:35,108 --> 01:31:38,195
No. There is no other time.
School is up.
1726
01:31:38,362 --> 01:31:42,699
- What's wrong with right now?
- Well, I mean, you're... You're drunk.
1727
01:31:43,367 --> 01:31:47,287
- You're, like, really, really drunk.
- So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules.
1728
01:31:47,454 --> 01:31:50,457
Yeah, I'm actually...
I'm not drunk at all.
1729
01:31:50,624 --> 01:31:53,210
I don't even drink, so it's...
I mean...
1730
01:31:54,419 --> 01:31:57,548
Jules, you drink. You drink.
1731
01:31:57,714 --> 01:32:00,551
Everybody... You... You had me
get liquor, so you drink.
1732
01:32:00,717 --> 01:32:01,802
It's like...
1733
01:32:01,969 --> 01:32:05,347
Well, yeah, because
I'm throwing a party, remember?
1734
01:32:05,514 --> 01:32:07,140
Other people drink and so I just...
1735
01:32:07,307 --> 01:32:08,851
You...?
1736
01:32:10,185 --> 01:32:13,564
You don't wanna, you know?
1737
01:32:15,315 --> 01:32:18,277
Not, uh, right now.
1738
01:32:18,443 --> 01:32:21,572
You know, not while you're drunk.
1739
01:32:22,155 --> 01:32:24,199
But, you know, thank you.
1740
01:32:29,496 --> 01:32:34,084
- Evan. Evan, I'm so wet.
- Oh, yeah.
1741
01:32:34,251 --> 01:32:37,588
They said that would happen in
health, when I learned about it.
1742
01:32:37,754 --> 01:32:39,590
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1743
01:32:39,756 --> 01:32:42,926
- They taught me about... Oh!
- Who's down there?
1744
01:32:43,093 --> 01:32:44,386
Yeah, it's your hand.
1745
01:32:45,846 --> 01:32:47,681
Ah-ha-ha.
1746
01:32:49,266 --> 01:32:52,644
- Thank you, that's good.
- You have such a smooth cock.
1747
01:32:52,811 --> 01:32:54,897
Thank you.
You would too if you were a man.
1748
01:32:55,063 --> 01:32:57,608
But you got such a smooth chest.
1749
01:32:57,774 --> 01:33:00,444
I am gonna give you
1750
01:33:00,611 --> 01:33:05,115
the best blow-J ever
1751
01:33:05,282 --> 01:33:07,701
with my mouth.
1752
01:33:07,868 --> 01:33:10,120
Why don't we...?
Why don't we just kiss a while?
1753
01:33:10,287 --> 01:33:13,916
Why don't we keep kissing for a
bit, instead of...?
1754
01:33:15,792 --> 01:33:17,377
How badly do you wanna fuck me?
1755
01:33:17,794 --> 01:33:19,463
Jesus Christ.
1756
01:33:20,213 --> 01:33:21,256
Jesus, fuck.
1757
01:33:21,423 --> 01:33:22,716
- Hang on, one second.
- What?
1758
01:33:22,883 --> 01:33:24,635
Becca, I don't think
you wanna do this.
1759
01:33:24,801 --> 01:33:28,764
- You're really drunk.
- No, I'm not. I am not drunk.
1760
01:33:28,931 --> 01:33:33,143
- I see that you are. I think you are.
- And I really... I want you inside me.
1761
01:33:33,310 --> 01:33:35,562
I want you to be my first.
I want you inside me.
1762
01:33:35,729 --> 01:33:37,981
So just... Just go with it.
1763
01:33:38,148 --> 01:33:40,108
- Let it happen.
- I know, but...
1764
01:33:40,567 --> 01:33:42,611
Becca, this is kind of intense.
1765
01:33:42,778 --> 01:33:47,157
And I just... I'm so drunk.
I can't even, like, process this.
1766
01:33:47,324 --> 01:33:49,660
And, um, you're really pretty.
1767
01:33:49,826 --> 01:33:51,954
And I just think
this isn't how I pictured it.
1768
01:33:52,120 --> 01:33:56,583
I don't understand why you have to
be such a little bitch about it.
1769
01:33:57,751 --> 01:34:00,921
- Did you just call me a bitch?
- Yes, a scared...
1770
01:34:01,088 --> 01:34:03,715
See, I, like, I think
we're not thinking clear...
1771
01:34:03,882 --> 01:34:05,175
Holy shit. Oh, my God.
1772
01:34:05,342 --> 01:34:07,761
- Go get Gaby.
- I'll go get her.
1773
01:34:07,928 --> 01:34:12,683
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Go get Gaby, please.
1774
01:34:26,863 --> 01:34:30,534
- I got a boner.
- Good.
1775
01:34:31,827 --> 01:34:34,454
- Do you have a condom?
- Yes.
1776
01:34:36,373 --> 01:34:38,375
And lube.
1777
01:34:38,542 --> 01:34:40,043
Seth?
1778
01:34:44,006 --> 01:34:46,466
Are...? Are you crying?
1779
01:34:46,842 --> 01:34:49,720
No, I just have something
in both my eyes.
1780
01:34:49,886 --> 01:34:51,096
I don't cry. That's funny.
1781
01:34:51,263 --> 01:34:53,557
You look... You look...
It looks like you're owing.
1782
01:34:53,724 --> 01:34:55,058
So...
1783
01:34:57,269 --> 01:34:59,646
It was my last chance
and I fucked it up, and...
1784
01:34:59,813 --> 01:35:01,398
Your last chance to do what?
1785
01:35:01,565 --> 01:35:04,651
To make you my girlfriend
for the summer.
1786
01:35:05,235 --> 01:35:08,071
You're, like, the coolest
person that's ever talked to me.
1787
01:35:08,238 --> 01:35:09,906
I thought we'd both be drunk.
1788
01:35:10,073 --> 01:35:12,826
What does me being drunk
have anything to do with it?
1789
01:35:12,993 --> 01:35:15,328
You'd never get with me
if you were sober.
1790
01:35:15,495 --> 01:35:16,997
Look at you.
1791
01:35:18,040 --> 01:35:22,252
- Look at me.
- Seth, come on, you didn't blow it.
1792
01:35:22,836 --> 01:35:24,296
I think maybe...
1793
01:35:25,088 --> 01:35:26,882
What the fuck?!
1794
01:35:27,049 --> 01:35:28,759
OW!
Help me.
1795
01:35:30,886 --> 01:35:31,928
Shirley.
1796
01:35:32,095 --> 01:35:34,181
I'm sorry.
1797
01:35:34,556 --> 01:35:35,891
MICHAELS: Someone forgot
to call pest control.
1798
01:35:36,058 --> 01:35:37,100
SLATER: Yep.
1799
01:35:37,267 --> 01:35:39,102
MICHAELS: Where you going?
Hey, party's still on.
1800
01:35:39,269 --> 01:35:40,562
- Where are you going?
- Oh, no.
1801
01:35:40,729 --> 01:35:43,940
MICHAELS: If you're back there, get out.
Everyone, come on.
1802
01:35:44,107 --> 01:35:45,942
SLATER: We will shoot you.
MICHAELS: Party's over.
1803
01:35:46,109 --> 01:35:47,611
- Evan.
- MICHAELS: Get the hell out of here.
1804
01:35:47,778 --> 01:35:49,488
Keep your hands up.
1805
01:35:55,243 --> 01:35:57,954
Life's bullshit, Miroki.
1806
01:36:07,297 --> 01:36:09,299
Ev, wake the fuck up, man.
1807
01:36:09,466 --> 01:36:11,802
We gotta 90.
Those fucking cops are here, man.
1808
01:36:12,636 --> 01:36:14,262
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1809
01:36:15,097 --> 01:36:17,349
"Oh, no, it's the cops."
We have a complaint.
1810
01:36:17,516 --> 01:36:18,600
SETH: Evan, come on.
1811
01:36:18,767 --> 01:36:20,143
MICHAELS: Get the hell
out of here right now.
1812
01:36:20,310 --> 01:36:21,978
Get out of here, pal.
She's not interested.
1813
01:36:22,145 --> 01:36:23,855
MICHAELS: Drop the crantini
and move it, sister.
1814
01:36:24,022 --> 01:36:26,066
See you, sugar tits.
Guys, come on, move.
1815
01:36:26,233 --> 01:36:29,402
MICHAELS: Everybody out.
Leave the booze and go.
1816
01:36:30,529 --> 01:36:31,780
What the fuck, man?
1817
01:36:32,531 --> 01:36:33,824
What the fuck, Seth?
1818
01:36:33,990 --> 01:36:36,284
He's my best friend. Oh, shit.
1819
01:36:36,827 --> 01:36:39,287
Oh, shit. Come on.
1820
01:36:39,454 --> 01:36:42,124
I assume you all have guns
and crack.
1821
01:36:42,290 --> 01:36:44,626
♪♪♪
1822
01:36:44,835 --> 01:36:48,588
Oh, my God, come on. Don't stop.
1823
01:36:51,133 --> 01:36:52,509
MICHAELS: Okay, everyone,
1824
01:36:52,676 --> 01:36:55,554
prepare to be fucked
by the long dick of the law.
1825
01:36:55,720 --> 01:36:57,514
Get out.
1826
01:36:59,307 --> 01:37:00,350
Come on, go.
1827
01:37:04,521 --> 01:37:06,148
Fuck off, Seth.
1828
01:37:08,692 --> 01:37:09,901
MAN: Get a room.
1829
01:37:10,068 --> 01:37:12,529
SETH: I'm gonna save you.
I'm gonna save you, Evan.
1830
01:37:14,114 --> 01:37:15,824
Fuck.
1831
01:37:17,450 --> 01:37:20,704
Fuck. Fuck, man, so heavy.
1832
01:37:20,871 --> 01:37:23,665
(THE COUP'S "PORK AND BEEF"
PLAYING ON STEREO)
1833
01:37:35,969 --> 01:37:38,388
It's in. Oh, my God, it's in.
1834
01:37:38,555 --> 01:37:40,974
All right, everybody out.
Come on, let's go.
1835
01:37:41,141 --> 01:37:43,560
McLovin! What the fuck?
1836
01:37:43,727 --> 01:37:46,104
- Officer Slater, is that you?
- You ran away from us.
1837
01:37:46,271 --> 01:37:48,273
Why did you run away?
Michaels, get up here.
1838
01:37:48,440 --> 01:37:50,400
- No. I didn't run away.
- What the fuck?
1839
01:37:50,567 --> 01:37:51,610
Why would you do that?
1840
01:37:51,776 --> 01:37:54,321
- I was disoriented from...
- Were you violating that girl?
1841
01:37:54,487 --> 01:37:56,907
You just violated her with your penis?
Michaels, look.
1842
01:37:57,073 --> 01:37:58,491
- McLovin?
- No, no, no.
1843
01:37:59,034 --> 01:38:00,577
Whoa.
No.
1844
01:38:01,161 --> 01:38:02,996
Holy shit. Were you
just getting laid?
1845
01:38:03,163 --> 01:38:05,874
No. Yeah, I was, but...
1846
01:38:06,041 --> 01:38:08,335
- Yes, yes, he was.
- FOGELL: It's not what you think, guys.
1847
01:38:08,501 --> 01:38:10,754
- I'm not even...
- Sit the fuck down. Stay down.
1848
01:38:10,921 --> 01:38:12,756
- Calm down.
- I thought we were friends,
1849
01:38:12,923 --> 01:38:14,424
and then you go running away.
1850
01:38:14,591 --> 01:38:16,259
MICHAELS: Contain yourself.
1851
01:38:16,426 --> 01:38:17,969
SLATER: We're friends.
MICHAELS: Shut up.
1852
01:38:18,136 --> 01:38:20,430
- Calm down. Calm down, man.
- Why? What?
1853
01:38:20,597 --> 01:38:22,265
You just cock-blocked
McLovin. Okay?
1854
01:38:22,432 --> 01:38:23,934
He's our friend.
We don't do that.
1855
01:38:24,100 --> 01:38:27,479
We should be guiding
his cock, not blocking it.
1856
01:38:27,646 --> 01:38:31,441
Just relax, okay?
Let's make this right.
1857
01:38:39,074 --> 01:38:41,368
Wait, what are you...?
What are you guys doing?
1858
01:38:41,534 --> 01:38:44,788
No, please, I can't... I can't go to jail.
Please, I can't go to jail.
1859
01:38:44,955 --> 01:38:48,792
No, look. We're really
sorry, McLovin.
1860
01:38:48,959 --> 01:38:52,295
This has... This has gone on...
This has gone way too far.
1861
01:38:52,462 --> 01:38:55,590
What? What are you talking about?
1862
01:38:55,757 --> 01:38:59,719
We know you're not 25, man.
We're not idiots, McLovin.
1863
01:38:59,886 --> 01:39:02,430
- Yeah.
- Did you know the whole time?
1864
01:39:02,597 --> 01:39:07,811
Look, when we were your
age, we hated cops.
1865
01:39:07,978 --> 01:39:11,147
When we saw you in the liquor
store today, we just...
1866
01:39:11,314 --> 01:39:13,441
I guess we saw a bit of
ourselves, you know,
1867
01:39:13,608 --> 01:39:16,736
and we just wanted
to show you that,
1868
01:39:16,903 --> 01:39:19,322
you know, cops can have
a fun time too, you know?
1869
01:39:19,489 --> 01:39:21,116
Yeah.
1870
01:39:21,825 --> 01:39:26,413
You know, in a way,
I think we wanted to show ourselves.
1871
01:39:28,123 --> 01:39:30,500
Also, I'm...
1872
01:39:30,667 --> 01:39:33,837
I'm really sorry that
I blocked your cock.
1873
01:39:34,462 --> 01:39:37,632
- Apology accepted.
- Seriously, man.
1874
01:39:38,633 --> 01:39:40,218
MICHAELS: That feels good.
1875
01:39:40,385 --> 01:39:42,304
- It feels so good.
- I missed you guys.
1876
01:39:42,470 --> 01:39:44,848
I just wish we could make
it up to you somehow, man.
1877
01:39:45,015 --> 01:39:47,684
Well, do you think you can
do me a really big favor?
1878
01:39:47,851 --> 01:39:49,978
- What is it? Anything.
- Name it.
1879
01:39:50,145 --> 01:39:51,313
SLATER: This kid's fucking crazy.
1880
01:39:51,479 --> 01:39:53,189
MICHAELS: Stay back
for your own safety.
1881
01:39:53,356 --> 01:39:55,692
Get off me, you fucking cops.
Get your hands off me.
1882
01:39:55,859 --> 01:39:58,445
Do you know who I am?
I'm Fogell.
1883
01:39:59,279 --> 01:40:02,699
- The joint can't hold me.
- Holy shit, Fogell's a badass.
1884
01:40:02,866 --> 01:40:05,869
I'm gonna break your glasses,
you fucking cop. You can't hold me.
1885
01:40:06,036 --> 01:40:07,203
JESSE: Fucking pigs.
1886
01:40:07,370 --> 01:40:09,205
CROWD: Oh!
1887
01:40:12,125 --> 01:40:13,376
Oh, shit.
1888
01:40:13,543 --> 01:40:14,961
(GRUNTS)
1889
01:40:15,920 --> 01:40:17,547
SLATER: Nice mullet, asshole.
1890
01:40:18,173 --> 01:40:20,050
- You crazy.
- This kid's crazy.
1891
01:40:20,216 --> 01:40:23,345
He's nuts.
Well, we caught the infamous Fogell.
1892
01:40:23,511 --> 01:40:25,180
FOGELL: Get your hands...
Wait for me, Nicola.
1893
01:40:25,347 --> 01:40:26,806
Wait for me on the outside.
1894
01:40:27,724 --> 01:40:29,893
We were gonna go to Hawaii.
1895
01:40:30,935 --> 01:40:32,645
Man, that's gonna
get you so much ass.
1896
01:40:32,812 --> 01:40:33,855
Seriously?
1897
01:40:34,022 --> 01:40:37,233
- I know what to do about the car.
- Sweet.
1898
01:40:37,817 --> 01:40:41,488
SETH: Fucking go. Fucking throw up.
1899
01:40:45,325 --> 01:40:46,743
Are you carrying me?
1900
01:40:46,910 --> 01:40:49,079
No, I'm saving you from the cops.
1901
01:40:49,371 --> 01:40:50,413
You saved me?
1902
01:40:52,248 --> 01:40:55,210
Well, I don't know what you're
talking about, but thanks.
1903
01:40:55,377 --> 01:40:57,545
Can I...?
Should I just walk?
1904
01:40:57,712 --> 01:41:01,257
- Should I walk?
- Yeah, sure.
1905
01:41:02,008 --> 01:41:06,054
- Okay.
- Where do you wanna go?
1906
01:41:06,846 --> 01:41:10,016
Sleepover at my house?
You wanna come sleep...?
1907
01:41:11,684 --> 01:41:14,687
- Okay.
- Okay.
1908
01:41:17,732 --> 01:41:19,442
Does your mom still
have pizza bagels?
1909
01:41:19,609 --> 01:41:21,277
Yeah. Lots.
1910
01:41:21,444 --> 01:41:23,446
Pizza bagels.
1911
01:41:23,613 --> 01:41:25,949
(SIREN WAILING)
1912
01:41:31,621 --> 01:41:34,290
So by signing this,
you are officially saying
1913
01:41:34,457 --> 01:41:36,918
that as we stopped you
from being mugged,
1914
01:41:37,085 --> 01:41:40,004
a crackhead stole our cruiser
and did God knows what with it.
1915
01:41:40,171 --> 01:41:42,799
You cool to sign that?
Of course. I owe you guys my life.
1916
01:41:42,966 --> 01:41:45,635
We owe you, MC-Wait,
what's your real name again?
1917
01:41:45,802 --> 01:41:46,845
- FOGELL: Fogell.
- Fuck that.
1918
01:41:47,011 --> 01:41:49,639
- We're calling you McLovin.
- McLovin.
1919
01:41:49,806 --> 01:41:52,225
Let's do this dance, boys.
1920
01:41:52,392 --> 01:41:55,103
(VAN HALEN'S "PANAMA" PLAYS)
1921
01:41:57,397 --> 01:41:59,399
(SCREAMING)
1922
01:42:15,582 --> 01:42:16,749
FOGELL: Oh, my God.
1923
01:42:16,916 --> 01:42:18,460
MICHAELS: What did I tell
you guys, right?
1924
01:42:18,626 --> 01:42:19,669
FOGELL: That was crazy.
1925
01:42:21,087 --> 01:42:23,882
(SINGING "PANAMA")
1926
01:42:25,633 --> 01:42:26,843
All right.
1927
01:42:27,010 --> 01:42:29,012
All right, now, guys,
check this out.
1928
01:42:29,179 --> 01:42:32,390
It's probably the greatest move
in doughnut-spinning history.
1929
01:42:32,557 --> 01:42:33,600
You paying attention?
1930
01:42:33,766 --> 01:42:37,061
Behold, the upward-spiraling pigtail.
1931
01:42:37,228 --> 01:42:40,523
- MICHAELS: Why is it called that?
- I don't know!
1932
01:42:44,694 --> 01:42:46,821
Make the badge proud, Slater.
1933
01:42:48,781 --> 01:42:50,992
He's not usually this drunk
when he does this,
1934
01:42:51,159 --> 01:42:54,329
but I think
that could make it more cool.
1935
01:42:59,375 --> 01:43:01,169
McLovin!
1936
01:43:07,550 --> 01:43:09,802
(SCREAMING)
1937
01:43:11,638 --> 01:43:12,722
Oh, no.
1938
01:43:13,515 --> 01:43:14,599
Fuck.
1939
01:43:14,766 --> 01:43:16,601
(SCREAMING)
1940
01:43:21,231 --> 01:43:24,651
- Slater!
- FOGELL: Officer Slater.
1941
01:43:26,402 --> 01:43:29,405
All right. Fucking crazy.
1942
01:43:30,114 --> 01:43:31,157
Let's do this.
1943
01:43:31,991 --> 01:43:33,201
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Let's go. Go, go.
1944
01:43:33,368 --> 01:43:36,204
FOGELL: I'm going,
I'm going, I'm going.
1945
01:43:36,371 --> 01:43:38,581
- I'm out, I'm out.
- Good, here we go, here we go.
1946
01:43:38,748 --> 01:43:40,875
Yeah? Yeah, okay. Back up.
1947
01:43:41,042 --> 01:43:43,670
Don't blow yourself up, asshole.
1948
01:43:44,254 --> 01:43:46,297
SLATER: Oh!
1949
01:43:46,464 --> 01:43:48,633
(ALL LAUGHING)
1950
01:43:48,800 --> 01:43:52,345
Yes. Oh, my God.
1951
01:43:52,512 --> 01:43:54,931
It worked. It worked.
1952
01:43:55,098 --> 01:43:59,102
We won. We won.
1953
01:44:07,652 --> 01:44:09,612
Can we shoot at it?
1954
01:44:10,738 --> 01:44:13,908
I don't know. Can you?
1955
01:44:32,677 --> 01:44:34,429
Break yourself, fool.
1956
01:44:35,930 --> 01:44:37,557
(YELLS)
1957
01:44:40,768 --> 01:44:42,312
Tight.
1958
01:44:42,478 --> 01:44:45,106
EVAN: Listen, and then she said
she was gonna give me a blow-J.
1959
01:44:45,273 --> 01:44:47,567
SETH: I can't believe
she said that to you.
1960
01:44:47,734 --> 01:44:49,027
Man, you have no idea.
1961
01:44:49,193 --> 01:44:52,113
- What was she thinking?
- You don't even know.
1962
01:44:59,871 --> 01:45:03,916
I gotta tell you.
I gotta tell you something, Evan.
1963
01:45:04,083 --> 01:45:05,460
What?
1964
01:45:05,627 --> 01:45:07,503
I was in your room, like,
three weeks ago
1965
01:45:07,670 --> 01:45:09,964
while you were taking a shit.
1966
01:45:10,131 --> 01:45:15,178
And I saw your housing,
like, forms.
1967
01:45:15,637 --> 01:45:19,849
So I knew you and Fogell were
gonna live together, you know.
1968
01:45:20,016 --> 01:45:22,644
I'm sorry, man, I don't know.
1969
01:45:24,646 --> 01:45:28,775
I should've told you.
I don't know why I didn't.
1970
01:45:28,941 --> 01:45:31,694
Don't... No, don't be sorry.
I should be sorry.
1971
01:45:31,861 --> 01:45:34,656
I was being a dick.
I was being a big dick to you.
1972
01:45:34,822 --> 01:45:36,074
No, I...
1973
01:45:36,240 --> 01:45:40,703
Listen, Seth, I want you to know,
I don't wanna live with Fogell.
1974
01:45:40,870 --> 01:45:45,875
I never wanted to live with him.
I just don't... I ha...
1975
01:45:46,042 --> 01:45:48,211
I'm afraid to live with strangers.
1976
01:45:50,046 --> 01:45:51,214
I can't.
1977
01:45:52,298 --> 01:45:53,508
I can't do it.
1978
01:45:55,677 --> 01:45:58,429
I know, I know.
1979
01:45:59,722 --> 01:46:02,600
I can't believe you saved me.
1980
01:46:04,227 --> 01:46:06,396
You saved me.
1981
01:46:06,562 --> 01:46:09,524
I can't believe.
I owe you so...
1982
01:46:10,358 --> 01:46:14,529
You carried me. I love you.
1983
01:46:15,113 --> 01:46:16,572
I love you, man.
1984
01:46:19,534 --> 01:46:21,577
I love you.
1985
01:46:22,995 --> 01:46:27,667
I love you. I'm not even
embarrassed to say it. I just...
1986
01:46:27,834 --> 01:46:29,836
I Io... I love you.
1987
01:46:30,002 --> 01:46:31,713
- I'm not embarrassed.
- I love you.
1988
01:46:31,879 --> 01:46:33,381
I love you.
1989
01:46:33,548 --> 01:46:36,342
Why don't we say that every day?
Why can't we say it more often?
1990
01:46:36,509 --> 01:46:38,761
I just love you. I just wanna
go to the rooftops and scream:
1991
01:46:38,928 --> 01:46:40,263
"I love my best friend, Evan."
1992
01:46:40,430 --> 01:46:44,100
- We should go up on my roof.
- For sure.
1993
01:46:44,267 --> 01:46:50,106
Like, when you went away for Easter,
on your vacation, I missed you.
1994
01:46:50,273 --> 01:46:53,776
- I missed you too.
- I want the world to know.
1995
01:46:54,193 --> 01:46:58,906
It's... It's the most beautiful
thing in the world.
1996
01:47:00,366 --> 01:47:02,326
Boop. Boop, boop.
1997
01:47:02,493 --> 01:47:06,038
Come here. Come here, man.
1998
01:47:16,674 --> 01:47:19,260
- I love you.
- I love you.
1999
01:47:32,231 --> 01:47:34,317
What the fuck?
2000
01:47:41,657 --> 01:47:46,704
- What up?
- Morning. Morning.
2001
01:47:47,163 --> 01:47:49,665
I should get moving.
I should get moving.
2002
01:47:49,832 --> 01:47:52,084
I should be getting
a move on, for sure.
2003
01:47:52,251 --> 01:47:55,254
Yeah, you don't... I mean,
you don't have to, you know.
2004
01:47:55,421 --> 01:47:58,508
I don't really have
anything going on.
2005
01:47:58,674 --> 01:48:01,260
You don't have to
rush off like that.
2006
01:48:04,722 --> 01:48:06,808
You wanna hang out?
2007
01:48:07,183 --> 01:48:09,685
I was gonna go to the mall.
2008
01:48:09,852 --> 01:48:13,314
I have to get a new comforter.
2009
01:48:13,898 --> 01:48:16,442
For college. The mall,
they would sell that.
2010
01:48:16,609 --> 01:48:18,194
Cool. So, uh,
2011
01:48:19,529 --> 01:48:21,864
your mom's got huge tits.
2012
01:48:24,450 --> 01:48:25,743
What do you think?
2013
01:48:25,910 --> 01:48:27,328
I don't know, man.
Don't ask me.
2014
01:48:27,495 --> 01:48:30,289
Because I don't give a shit
how pants look.
2015
01:48:30,456 --> 01:48:32,875
Yeah, I need someone's opinion.
2016
01:48:33,042 --> 01:48:36,379
Those are too tight.
Those are way too tight.
2017
01:48:36,546 --> 01:48:39,048
- Yeah, but, like...
- Way too tight. You need to upgrade.
2018
01:48:39,257 --> 01:48:41,884
There's not enough pants where
there should be more pant in there.
2019
01:48:42,051 --> 01:48:44,428
Yeah, but... I mean,
does it look weird?
2020
01:48:44,595 --> 01:48:48,015
Looks like you're standing funny. You
wouldn't be standing like that. Like a duck.
2021
01:48:48,182 --> 01:48:49,976
Yeah, but I'm doing like...
2022
01:48:50,142 --> 01:48:53,437
- I'm doing a college poses, it's like...
- I don't know if you are.
2023
01:48:53,604 --> 01:48:55,523
- You might just be doing...
- Hey, prof.
2024
01:48:55,690 --> 01:48:57,775
- Okay.
- That test was... Whoo!
2025
01:48:58,401 --> 01:49:02,280
Hey, Susan. Are you gonna
party tonight or no?
2026
01:49:02,446 --> 01:49:06,075
Yeah, but that's just... It's like I
wish there were more pants where...
2027
01:49:06,284 --> 01:49:07,535
You know, where there aren't.
2028
01:49:07,702 --> 01:49:09,579
But when I was wearing
your dad's pants last night,
2029
01:49:09,745 --> 01:49:12,582
I realized that if I wear pants
that are a little too small,
2030
01:49:12,748 --> 01:49:14,500
it might encourage me
to lose a little weight.
2031
01:49:14,667 --> 01:49:16,586
And also, chicks can
kind of see, like,
2032
01:49:16,752 --> 01:49:19,422
you know, the borders and
outline of my dick a little.
2033
01:49:19,589 --> 01:49:22,592
Yeah, man, they go nuts for that.
The male camel toe.
2034
01:49:22,758 --> 01:49:25,803
Yeah, the camel tail.
It's right...
2035
01:49:25,970 --> 01:49:27,680
I know where it is,
where it happens.
2036
01:49:27,847 --> 01:49:29,515
Like, right there.
2037
01:49:29,682 --> 01:49:33,311
It's like they're so tight that one
ball is, like, above my dick, even.
2038
01:49:33,477 --> 01:49:35,187
- Yeah, exactly.
- It's like three.
2039
01:49:35,354 --> 01:49:38,024
It's like a three thing.
It's like ball, dick, ball.
2040
01:49:38,190 --> 01:49:39,567
It's like a division sign.
2041
01:49:39,734 --> 01:49:41,569
Like a bunch of people
crammed into a van.
2042
01:49:42,528 --> 01:49:44,147
Like, does my ass look weird?
2043
01:49:44,172 --> 01:49:46,348
It makes a lot of stuff look weird.
2044
01:49:46,616 --> 01:49:48,075
No, those are way too tight.
2045
01:49:48,826 --> 01:49:51,662
You're right, these look stupid.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
2046
01:49:51,829 --> 01:49:55,124
I'm really sorry about that.
I can't believe I actually did that.
2047
01:49:55,291 --> 01:49:57,376
I feel bad that I'm making you
buy me a new one.
2048
01:49:57,543 --> 01:49:58,836
It's seems, like, ridiculous.
2049
01:49:59,003 --> 01:50:03,090
- No. I have to, it's puke. It's gross.
- Oh, my God.
2050
01:50:03,257 --> 01:50:05,801
Do alcoholics get hangovers?
2051
01:50:05,968 --> 01:50:08,804
Holy shit, holy shit,
holy shit. It's them.
2052
01:50:09,680 --> 01:50:13,601
- What the fuck do we do, man?
- Don't stop. I don't know.
2053
01:50:15,394 --> 01:50:17,855
- Hey.
- Hey.
2054
01:50:18,773 --> 01:50:20,524
How's it going?
2055
01:50:22,193 --> 01:50:25,029
It's so good to...
How are you feeling?
2056
01:50:25,613 --> 01:50:29,158
I've felt better. But I'll be fine.
How about you?
2057
01:50:30,201 --> 01:50:34,372
I'm okay, you know, yeah.
Did you have fun last night?
2058
01:50:35,039 --> 01:50:36,457
Uh...
2059
01:50:36,874 --> 01:50:40,461
You know, I actually
don't remember much.
2060
01:50:40,628 --> 01:50:42,213
I don't remember anything.
2061
01:50:43,047 --> 01:50:45,549
- So weird.
- Nothing.
2062
01:50:45,716 --> 01:50:49,178
Um, I didn't puke on you, did I?
2063
01:50:49,595 --> 01:50:51,889
You didn't. I remember
that you... I avoided it.
2064
01:50:52,056 --> 01:50:56,185
It whizzed right by me, and I said,
"Stay away from me," you know.
2065
01:50:56,769 --> 01:51:02,733
I'm really sorry about everything
last night, and I just...
2066
01:51:04,402 --> 01:51:06,862
Thank you for being
such a nice guy about it all.
2067
01:51:07,738 --> 01:51:09,407
That's okay, you know.
2068
01:51:09,573 --> 01:51:12,201
At least you don't have
a black eye from it.
2069
01:51:15,579 --> 01:51:18,749
- That looks terrible.
- Yeah.
2070
01:51:19,583 --> 01:51:23,921
You look great. You don't look terrible.
It's just, like, a bad bruise.
2071
01:51:24,088 --> 01:51:26,882
Everything's great, just from he...
This, just like right there.
2072
01:51:27,049 --> 01:51:28,676
- Your eye.
- Yeah, your eye.
2073
01:51:28,843 --> 01:51:30,511
Everything else is great.
2074
01:51:30,678 --> 01:51:34,724
But seriously, I acted like
a fucking idiot last night.
2075
01:51:37,393 --> 01:51:41,605
You don't deserve that.
So I'm sorry.
2076
01:51:42,440 --> 01:51:46,277
On the upside,
I think you look cool with a black eye.
2077
01:51:46,444 --> 01:51:49,822
I'm just gonna throw that out there.
I don't... I don't know.
2078
01:51:49,989 --> 01:51:54,035
Well, thank you, smart guy. Thanks.
That's actually, uh, why I'm here.
2079
01:51:54,201 --> 01:51:57,538
Because I have to get a ton of
cover-up for the grad photo.
2080
01:51:57,705 --> 01:52:00,166
Oh, man. Fuck.
2081
01:52:00,332 --> 01:52:02,793
And I'm gonna get Jules
a new comforter.
2082
01:52:02,960 --> 01:52:04,920
I have to get a comforter too.
For college.
2083
01:52:05,087 --> 01:52:07,631
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I just figured I would need one.
2084
01:52:07,798 --> 01:52:09,759
So, Seth...
2085
01:52:11,052 --> 01:52:15,056
So do you wanna come buy
me cover-up or something?
2086
01:52:15,222 --> 01:52:17,308
I mean, you kind of owe me.
2087
01:52:18,642 --> 01:52:20,978
Yeah, definitely.
I would love to do that.
2088
01:52:22,480 --> 01:52:24,440
I had such bad acne last year
2089
01:52:24,607 --> 01:52:27,985
that I pretty much became,
like, an expert on the stuff.
2090
01:52:28,527 --> 01:52:31,155
Well, you drove.
Evan drove me here, though, so...
2091
01:52:31,322 --> 01:52:33,407
Well, 30... Well, I mean,
I have my dad's car.
2092
01:52:33,574 --> 01:52:36,452
So I could just give you a lift,
2093
01:52:36,619 --> 01:52:38,662
and then Evan
could take Becca home.
2094
01:52:38,829 --> 01:52:41,290
If that works.
I don't know if it's in your route.
2095
01:52:41,457 --> 01:52:42,708
It'd be fine with me.
2096
01:52:42,875 --> 01:52:45,669
Fine, yeah.
Maybe we can get some food.
2097
01:52:46,837 --> 01:52:48,172
Yeah, I'd like that.
2098
01:52:51,008 --> 01:52:52,718
So I guess I'll call you, then.
2099
01:52:52,885 --> 01:52:54,929
Yeah, give me a call.
Yeah, you have my number.
2100
01:52:55,096 --> 01:52:58,182
I have your information.
So put her there.
2101
01:52:58,349 --> 01:53:01,352
Perfect. Good.
All right, man.
2102
01:53:01,519 --> 01:53:02,937
- Okay.
- Okay, guys.
2103
01:53:03,104 --> 01:53:04,688
- Becca.
- Bye, guys.
2104
01:53:04,855 --> 01:53:06,440
- Bye, have fun.
- See you, Jules.
2105
01:53:06,607 --> 01:53:09,777
EVAN: Yeah, that's funny.
Too funny.
2106
01:53:09,944 --> 01:53:11,362
BECCA: Where do you
wanna go to eat?
2107
01:53:11,529 --> 01:53:12,530
(MOUTHING)
I'm gonna fuck her.
2108
01:53:13,823 --> 01:53:17,118
JULES: So can you honestly help me
figure out what kind of cover-up to get?
2109
01:53:24,333 --> 01:53:27,086
(CURTIS MAYFIELD'S
"P.S. I LOVE YOU" PLAYS)
2110
01:54:08,586 --> 01:54:11,088
♪♪♪
2111
01:55:53,732 --> 01:55:56,026
♪♪♪
2112
01:57:16,315 --> 01:57:19,193
♪♪♪
2113
01:58:24,466 --> 01:58:25,884
SETH (WHISPERING): I love you.