1 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,543 ''The night was...'' 2 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,223 (thunder) 3 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:26,103 ''The night was...'' 4 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:44,037 ''The night...'' 5 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,317 (grunts) 6 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,736 The Phantom of the Novel... 7 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,947 ..is coming to haunt the pages of Larry Donner. 8 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,584 Jeez, what the hell am I doing? 9 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,426 Hello, Op. Remember me? Professor Blank? 10 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:43,305 We're back. Well, I'm sure you all know the name Margaret Donner. 11 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,641 - Unless you live under a rock. - No! 12 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:50,938 Ladies and gentlemen, the author of the best-selling novel ''Hot Fire''. 13 00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:55,651 - Author of the best-selling novel? - You must be very proud of yourself. 14 00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,695 - Well, I... I am. - The woman stole my book! 15 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:01,949 - What's to be proud of? - ...and there's just you,... 16 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:06,495 ..you facing you in that mirror, do you say ''Margaret, you did it''? 17 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,164 - Yes, I do. - Slut! 18 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,376 She's a slut! Look at her! Slut! 19 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:16,505 - Hey! Hey, man, your wife's on TV! - Ex-wife, Lester. Ex-wife. 20 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,132 - She looks good! - Criminals don't age, Lester. 21 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,759 It's a common fact. 22 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,429 - What the hell do you want? - Something for a gig. 23 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,391 - You got anything in green? - You borrowed all my green. 24 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:31,770 It is a lot more difficult for women to get themselves published... 25 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,023 How about women thieves, Oprah? Big difference. 26 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:38,860 I would say that, once I was divorced,... 27 00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,112 ...blissfully divorced,... 28 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:45,867 ...a freedom overcame me, and I was allowed to be the writer, the artist,... 29 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:50,747 ..that I was nefer allowed to be within the confines of my prison-like marriage. 30 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:54,376 Did you think about writing when you were with this beast? 31 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,545 - Well, I did. I did, yes. - (laughter) 32 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,715 Because he fancied himself a sort of a hack writer. 33 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,967 I watched him at the typewriter and thought: 34 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,720 Oh, God, I can do that in spades. 35 00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,179 Then did, clearly. 36 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:09,558 How do you think he will feel now about your success? 37 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,935 Frankly, I don't really care how he feels. 38 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,562 (laughter) 39 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:18,150 - Well, Margaret... - (applause) 40 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,445 So she stole your book. Write another one and forget it. 41 00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,447 - I am writing. - Oh, you're writing? 42 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,241 - Yes, I am. - Yeah, right! ''The night was...'' 43 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,077 - The night was what? - I just started. 44 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,830 You been on ''The night was'' since July. 45 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,415 It takes place in the Yukon. 46 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,543 ..severed the ties. You live in Hawaii now. 47 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:40,297 - Yes. I just adore a tropical climate. - Look at those earrings, man! 48 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,591 It's your money. 49 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,595 How was it that you, Margaret Donner,... 50 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:52,726 ...produced such a brilliant piece of writing in... just your first time out? 51 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,272 Well, Oprah, I mean... it's the story of my life. 52 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,442 It's my life, Margaret! And I want it back! 53 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:04,821 ''Hot Fire,'' ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for being on the show. 54 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:07,741 - My pleasure. - I want it back! 55 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,787 - Owen! - (thunder) 56 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:15,957 Owen! 57 00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,962 Owen! Owen! 58 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:24,174 - What?! - Get me a soda with some ice in it! 59 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,552 - Owen, hurry up! - Momma... 60 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,806 - Chop chop, Owen! Come on! - All right! 61 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,355 - You were writing a letter! - No, Momma! 62 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:42,943 You were writing to tell them to take me away! You want them to take me away! 63 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:47,447 I'm writin' a story for class, Momma! I don't want 'em to take you away! 64 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,991 - Yes, you do! - Owen loves his momma! 65 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,160 (mimics) ''Owen loves his momma.'' 66 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:56,498 (singsong) Owen loves his momma, Owen loves his momma... 67 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,150 - Hurry up with that soda! - Coming, Momma. 68 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:27,237 (mimics) ''Coming, Momma.'' I'm choking to death, you moron! 69 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,615 - You're too damn slow! - I'm sorry, Momma. 70 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,200 (mimics) ''I'm sorry, Momma.'' 71 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:37,038 - Where are the salted nuts? - The salted ones are no good for you. 72 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,374 The unsalted ones make me choke! 73 00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:53,513 Aarrghhh! 74 00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,435 Momma! 75 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,315 You clumsy poop! What'd you do that for? 76 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,073 Come on, move it, lard-ass! 77 00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,411 Pick up every piece! 78 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,924 (woman) '''Dive,... 79 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:32,469 ..dive!' yelled the captain through the thing.'' 80 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:38,934 ''So the man who makes it dive pressed a button or something and it dove,... 81 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:42,312 ..and the enemy was foiled again.'' 82 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,233 '''Looks like we foiled them again' said Dave.'' 83 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,693 '''Yeah' said the captain.'' 84 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:53,406 '''We foiled those bastards again, didn't we, Dave?''' 85 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,992 '''Yeah' said Dave.'' 86 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,037 ''The end.'' 87 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,164 OK. 88 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,794 Here we have all the elements of drama. 89 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:11,091 We have the tension, the horror ofwar... 90 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,593 Uh... Mrs. Hazeltine, 91 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,596 when you're writing a novel that takes place on a submarine,... 92 00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:20,725 ..it's not a bad idea to know the name of the instrument... 93 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,936 ..that the captain speaks through. 94 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,313 - I used to know that. - And your similes... 95 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,899 ...need a little work. 96 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:32,487 ''His guts oozed nice like a melted malted.'' 97 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:36,324 Well, it's, um... a little... 98 00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:38,910 - Too harsh? - A tad. 99 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,663 Otherwise it was, um... 100 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,832 ..very good, it was, uh... 101 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,333 ..very real. 102 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,720 Here's another one. This is a real classic by Mr. Pinsky. 103 00:09:56,887 --> 00:10:00,682 It's entitled 100 Girls I'd Like to Pork. 104 00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:03,226 Pork? 105 00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,646 It's a coffee-table book. 106 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,275 100 Girls I'd Like to... hm. 107 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,405 ''Chapter 1 : Kathleen Turner.'' 108 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,868 ''Chapter 2: Cybill Shepherd. Chapter 3: Suzanne Pleshette.'' 109 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,705 ''Chapter 4: The Girl in the Taco Commercial.'' 110 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:29,002 ''Chapter 5: The Woman in 4B. Chapter 6: The Oriental Laker Girl.'' 111 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,171 ''Chapter 7: Chris...'' 112 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,673 Mr. Pinsky, this is not literature. 113 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:37,469 Well, you know, I would put in photographs,... 114 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,556 ..a brief character sketch, like a biography,... 115 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,850 ..and a nice dustjacket. 116 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:48,396 - Mr. Pinsky, what is this? - It's... literature. It's a fantasy. 117 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:52,067 Like Melville. This is my great white whale. 118 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,278 - It's whacking material. - Isn't that literature? 119 00:10:55,905 --> 00:11:00,367 How do you associate Moby Dick to a list ofwomen you'd like to have sex with? 120 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:03,244 - I think it's brave. - (Mrs. Hazeltine) He's vulgar. 121 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,538 - They said Twain was. - I'm saying he is. 122 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,208 - I think you're vulgar. - You're a no-talent shit. 123 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,461 - Maybe I should change the title. - (man) I like the title. 124 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,214 - (bell) - OK, I'll see you Wednesday, class. 125 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,926 Good work today. Remember, a writer writes... always. 126 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:01,970 Argh! Oh! 127 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,305 - This is your tie. - Oh, God. 128 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:07,350 - You dropped it. - Oh. How'd that get in there? 129 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:11,396 It got wet. I was afraid it would be ruined. 130 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:12,897 Thanks. 131 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,483 - Hi. I'm Owen. - I know. 132 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,111 Why didn't you read my story in class? 133 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:22,240 - Your story? -Yeah. Murder at my Friend Harry's. 134 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,659 Why didn't you read it? 135 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,829 - I did. - You did? What'd you think of it? 136 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,499 It's raining, Irwin. Can't we discuss it tomorrow? 137 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,461 Owen. Didn't you like it? 138 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:37,922 - Well... no. No, I didn't. - Why not? 139 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:41,509 It was three pages long. It was a murder mystery... 140 00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:45,013 ..that, by the way, was no big trick in finding the murderer. 141 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,891 - What gave it away? - You only had two characters,... 142 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:50,935 ..one ofwhich was dead on page two! 143 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:52,771 Well, one guy killed the other guy. 144 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:57,233 - It wasn't motivated! - Sure it was. 145 00:12:57,401 --> 00:13:00,278 A guy in a hat killed the other guy in a hat. 146 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,323 I have to go now, Owen. 147 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,038 Thanks. 148 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:11,873 - (bleep) - Hi, Beth. It's me. 149 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:16,711 It's, uh... 10:30... and I did it again. I'm sorry. 150 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,256 It's just that... Margaret was on the... 151 00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,009 Oy, there I go again. It's... 152 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:26,262 I'll... Look, I'm sorry. That's all. Bye. 153 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,597 (tuts) 154 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,230 So Margaret's a big star. That's life. 155 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,274 This is life, too. That goes on, this goes on. 156 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,153 Hm. 157 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,280 The night was hot. 158 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:47,534 Wait, no. The night... The night was... 159 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,453 ...humid! The night was humid. 160 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:53,706 No, wait. Hot. Hot! The night was hot. 161 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:56,084 The night was hot and wet. Wet and hot. 162 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,254 The night was wet and hot... hot and wet... That's humid. 163 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,338 The night was humid. 164 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:04,384 Maybe the night isn't humid. Maybe... the night isn't humid. 165 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:08,137 Maybe it was humid in the morning and at night it was cold. 166 00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:09,264 That gives you fog. 167 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,057 Ha! The night was foggy. 168 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:15,478 The night... The night was... The night was... 169 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:19,232 The night... The night was dry, yet it was raining. 170 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,901 The... The... The... 171 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,404 The streets were wet,... 172 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,615 ...but the night... was as bright... 173 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,617 ...as... the... 174 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:33,955 ...earrings in Margaret Donner's ears! My God! I'm goin' outta my mind! 175 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,456 Fuck it! 176 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:38,793 The... night... was... humid! 177 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,920 That's it and that's all. 178 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,463 (grunts) 179 00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:54,934 Stop it, damn it! I got a wax ball in my ear. Get it out. 180 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:59,439 - Momma! - You were writing to her, weren't you? 181 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,525 Don't start that again, Momma. And don't hit me! 182 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:06,487 - You love her. - There's no ''her'', Momma. 183 00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:11,784 - You were writing a letter. - I'm writin' a story for class, Momma. 184 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:15,330 - I take a class. I take a nice class. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 185 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:19,542 - And I'm gonna be a writer some day. - You know how that typing upsets me. 186 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,211 I'm sorry, Momma. A writer writes. 187 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:25,340 You're gonna be nothing. You're gonna be nothing. 188 00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,008 You'll never get to first base. 189 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:31,054 All you do is type, type, type, type, type! 190 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,766 You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon. 191 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,685 You won't ever hear it again, Momma. 192 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,687 I promise. 193 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:46,152 Aarrghhh! 194 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,613 - Momma... - I think you got it, sonny. 195 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,700 I don't know what I'd do without you, Owen baby. 196 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,873 - I know, Momma. - Owen, my little baby. 197 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:02,001 - I know. - Owen, my little baby boy. 198 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:07,548 (Owen) And even though he was mortally wounded, 199 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:10,551 the guy in the hat got up... 200 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:15,056 ...and pulled himself up and... 201 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:20,395 ...staggered out into the dark night... 202 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:23,022 ...like a milkman... 203 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:26,067 ...going out on his route. 204 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,695 (man) There he is, Owen. 205 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:32,240 - Professor Donner... - Not now, Owen. Another time. 206 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,536 - Beth... - Don't bother. 207 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,664 - I gotta talk to you. - You're 16 hours late. 208 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,835 And I'm sorry. It's just that... she was on the television. 209 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,920 Margaret was on TV and my mind went nuts. 210 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:49,549 My mind went crazy. I saw nothing but hate and death. 211 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:53,094 And I'm sorry, and I did call. I called you around 10:30. 212 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,139 - Where were you? - Did you think I'd stay in all night... 213 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,433 ..staring at my tandoori chicken? 214 00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:03,271 I know you're angry and... you have every right to be angry. 215 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,523 It's just that I... 216 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,780 - It's my class. - Ah. How do you do? 217 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,615 (all) Hi. 218 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:17,660 - What's your name? - Beth Ryan. 219 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,787 She teaches anthropology. 220 00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,497 Beth... Ryan? 221 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,460 Don't even think about it. 222 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:26,836 (man) Hang in there, Pinsky. 223 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:36,387 Come on. I'm sorry. Do you know that we are this far away from having a date? 224 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,638 We're just this far. 225 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,807 - (as Beth) Hello, you're late. - I'm sorry. 226 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:44,437 - You probably made tandoori chicken. - (as Beth) Come on in, Larry. Oh... 227 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:48,149 Come on, gimme a second chance. What do you say? Come on! 228 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:52,236 - I can't believe I'm saying this. Yes. - Yeah? Great! 229 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,739 Professor Donner, I saw your wife on Oprah! 230 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,407 Ex-wife. Ex! 231 00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:58,826 What's with him? 232 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,789 (sighs) I can't get over this. 233 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:05,374 - Why? - Why? Why?! 234 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:08,002 She steals my book! OK? 235 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,088 - She goes on national television... - I'm not gonna sit here 236 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,839 and be barked at. 237 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,010 Wait. Listen to me, Beth. The problem is... 238 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:19,639 ...I can't write. I'm dead inside. I have no passion. 239 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:24,060 You have passion. When you talk about Margaret, you have passion. 240 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,436 Slut! 241 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,981 No, my ex-wife is a major slut. 242 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,359 - But you're not a slut. - Thank you! 243 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:36,656 I'm talking about passion! It's selfless, committed, overflowing! 244 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,825 Not hate and murder! 245 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:42,161 And slut! I hate her! I wish she was dead! 246 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,507 Chill out. 247 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,385 Thank you. 248 00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:00,221 It's so beautiful! 249 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,558 It's very good, Phil. Very, very good. 250 00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:08,187 Forty yards of Naugahyde, a girl and a dream. What can I say? It's... 251 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,690 Well, I wrote itjust like I lived it. 252 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,818 Which is what you've been teaching us: to write what we know. 253 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,823 It's very good. It'll blow the lid off the upholstery business as we know it. 254 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,325 - Thank you. - OK. 255 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:28,416 Nextis Murder at my Friend Harry's by Owen... Lift. 256 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,048 ''Chapter 1 . The night was humid.'' 257 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:38,843 Class dismissed. 258 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,930 I have an enormous headache in my eye. 259 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,572 Yuck. 260 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,424 (sighs) 261 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,495 (car door closes) 262 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,714 (Larry) I'm so sorry about the cafeteria. 263 00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:01,133 It was Norman Bates in concert. 264 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:04,887 It's just that I see her and I... 265 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:07,682 - You wanna kill her. - Metaphorically, yes. 266 00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:10,351 Specifically, without a doubt. 267 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,815 - I'm glad you called. - Me, too. 268 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,692 I like trains. 269 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:21,570 Every great romance or mystery has a train in it. 270 00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:24,198 - Is this gonna be a great romance? - Could be. 271 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:29,245 We have a train, we have the moon, we have compatible body parts. 272 00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:32,206 - Would you like to kiss me? - I don't know. 273 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:34,417 You don't know? 274 00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:38,462 Oh, you're so sweet, Beth. 275 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,882 Oh, Larry, would you like to date me? 276 00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:47,388 - This isn't a date? - Mmm... I was speaking euphemistically. 277 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:50,725 - So you're... you're saying...? - Yeah, yeah. 278 00:21:50,892 --> 00:21:54,228 So you're saying...? Yeah, you are. I can feel that. 279 00:21:56,898 --> 00:22:00,693 - You're saying no? - Kids are gonna sit here tomorrow. 280 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,903 Awww... 281 00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:07,074 - I wanna make love to you, Beth. - Oh, Larry... 282 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:09,410 Sometime in the very near future. 283 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,079 - Huh? - I can't. 284 00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:14,290 - What? - I have writer's block. 285 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:17,251 - Everywhere? - Yeah. It's no good. I can't. 286 00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:23,257 - On the train? - Oh, I wanna ring the bell. 287 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,426 (moans and sighs) 288 00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:32,099 - (Beth) Oh, take me, Casey. - Who? 289 00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,101 - Take me, Casey. - I'm taking you, I'm taking you. 290 00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:36,562 Take me, oh God... 291 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,736 - Hi. - Oh, God! 292 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,449 Do you know Owen? This is Owen. Owen is a dead man. 293 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:52,244 - Did I come at a bad time? - Owen... I'm dating. 294 00:22:53,121 --> 00:22:55,456 You read it, right? My story? 295 00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:58,000 - Yes. - Good. 296 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:02,213 Owen, you cannot follow me around asking me questions. 297 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:06,592 This stuff belongs in the classroom. Not on my time. Do you understand me? 298 00:23:07,427 --> 00:23:09,303 Oh. 299 00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:11,597 I'm sorry. 300 00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:13,641 Good night, Miss Ryan. 301 00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:19,897 - Did you like it? - No! 302 00:23:23,151 --> 00:23:25,111 (ringing) 303 00:23:25,695 --> 00:23:27,822 (Owen) Why didn't you like it? 304 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:32,827 Because in a novel people have to have more of a reason to commit a murder. 305 00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:34,495 If they just do it because they're crazy, 306 00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,956 it's not strong enough for a novel. 307 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,875 You mean, if someone ruined you permanently, 308 00:23:40,043 --> 00:23:41,335 then you could murder 'em? 309 00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:43,504 Yes. Which brings us to the second point. 310 00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:46,048 The motive: you have to eliminate it. 311 00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:51,011 - Eliminate the motive. - Correct. I'll give you an example. 312 00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:53,848 My ex-wife. I hate her guts, right? 313 00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:58,769 Yeah. I overheard you in the cafeteria. She really ruined you. 314 00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:03,274 Yes, she did. And I hate her with a passion. But I would never murder her. 315 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:06,569 - You'd get caught. - Absolutely right. 316 00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:10,656 I would get caught because I have a motive and people know that. 317 00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:14,160 I got a similar problem with my momma. 318 00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:16,287 Well, look at this, Owen. 319 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:19,457 This is amazing. You and I have something in common. 320 00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,625 We do? 321 00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:24,295 Absolutely. Think about what I'm saying. 322 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,755 And then you just draw on your own personal experiences. 323 00:24:27,757 --> 00:24:32,052 You mean... how do you murder and not get caught? 324 00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,679 So how do you not get caught? 325 00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:38,058 Owen? How do you not get caught? 326 00:24:38,226 --> 00:24:41,729 By eliminating the motive and establishing an alibi. 327 00:24:43,231 --> 00:24:47,193 - How? - I can't tell you everything, Owen. 328 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,570 I don't know. Go see a Hitchcock film. 329 00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:51,322 Wanna go to the movies with me? 330 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:55,326 No, I don't wanna go to the movies. It's real late and I... 331 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:58,496 I'm gonna go now. You're gonna be fine. OK? 332 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,665 - Thank you, Professor Donner. - Good night, Owen. 333 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:08,047 Eliminate the motive. 334 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,424 Eliminate... 335 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,593 Elim... 336 00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:14,887 Eliminate the motive. 337 00:25:16,264 --> 00:25:18,307 Motive. 338 00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:21,602 Hitchcock. 339 00:25:22,145 --> 00:25:24,772 (man) Let's say that you'd like to get rid of your wife. 340 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:27,441 Let's say that you have a very good reason. 341 00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:30,528 - No, let's not... - No, no. Let's say. 342 00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:34,323 You'd be afraid to kill her. You know why? You'd get caught. 343 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:37,826 And what would trip you up? The motife. 344 00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:42,873 Ah. Now here's my idea. It's so simple, too. 345 00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:46,961 Two fellows meet accidentally, like you and me. 346 00:25:47,128 --> 00:25:50,798 Each one has somebody that he'd like to get rid of. 347 00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:54,176 So... they swap murders. 348 00:25:54,636 --> 00:25:58,764 - Swap murders? (laughs) - Each fellow does the other's murder. 349 00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:02,726 Then there's nothing to connect them. Each one has murdered a total stranger. 350 00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:06,188 Like... you do my murder, I do yours. 351 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:09,984 Your wife, my father. Crisscross. 352 00:26:10,151 --> 00:26:13,737 Some people are better off dead. Each one has murdered a total stranger. 353 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:17,157 They swap murders. You do my murder. Crisscross. 354 00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:18,284 I do yours. 355 00:26:18,451 --> 00:26:20,953 They swap murders. Crisscross. 356 00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:23,497 Crisscross. 357 00:26:24,874 --> 00:26:26,500 (Beth) ''Choo-Choo Charlie said to himself: 358 00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:29,420 ''I think I can. I know I can. 359 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:34,466 ''He opened up his throttle and pushed and pulled and pushed and pulled... 360 00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:39,346 ..and it spluttered some more and then... and then he... and then...'' 361 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:45,352 - How's that blockage problem? - All aboard! 362 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,229 - (Beth) Woo-woo! - (phone rings) 363 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,523 (Beth) No, no. Don't. Don't. 364 00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:51,150 I'm buying a gun, Owen. 365 00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:53,694 You must wonder what happened to me. 366 00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:57,156 - Uh... no, not at all. - I saw that movie. 367 00:26:57,324 --> 00:26:58,532 (Larry) Uh-huh, uh-huh. 368 00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,994 I know now what you tried to tell me, Professor Donner. 369 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,579 - Oh, good. - Crisscross. 370 00:27:03,747 --> 00:27:05,205 (Momma) Owen! 371 00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:08,751 - I'll call you in a few days, pal. - Take your time, Owen. OK? 372 00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:11,253 - Bye. - Owen! 373 00:27:12,088 --> 00:27:14,548 - Coming, Momma! - Who were you talking to? 374 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:18,552 - I just called the weather. - You were talking to a machine? 375 00:27:22,098 --> 00:27:24,683 Two minutes ago you were my agent, and now... 376 00:27:24,851 --> 00:27:27,603 Larry, I'm sorry. That's the way the mop flops. 377 00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:30,731 After seven years I get ''That's the way the mop flops''? 378 00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:34,777 Larry, you must feel like this is the lowest point of your entire life. 379 00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:38,572 Arnie, what are you doing? Don't bend the fern. Fluff it! 380 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,743 How, as a human being, can you give up on somebody after seven years? 381 00:27:42,911 --> 00:27:47,748 Larry, this is a whole other agency. Besides, you've never written anything. 382 00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:50,042 What about Hot Fire? 383 00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:52,252 This may be a tad bit disturbing, 384 00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:54,713 but we've just signed your wife on as a client. 385 00:27:54,881 --> 00:27:58,384 Get me a doctor, Joel. I'm having a heart attack. 386 00:27:58,551 --> 00:28:00,803 The book sold two million copies! Arnie... 387 00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:03,889 But I wrote that and you know that! Arnie knows that! 388 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:06,642 Margaret couldn't write her name in the snow! 389 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:11,313 Larry, for seven years I've given you assignments. I've made your deals. 390 00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:15,609 And for seven years you didn't want to ''compromise your art''! 391 00:28:15,777 --> 00:28:19,780 Oh, boy. It is just like an agent to think that a writer can't be an artist. 392 00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:23,242 - Don't change the subject. Where was I? - You were letting me go. 393 00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:24,410 Thank you. 394 00:28:24,577 --> 00:28:28,122 For four years you've been writing a novel no one has ever seen. 395 00:28:28,289 --> 00:28:32,501 So you get the shaft from your wife. It's another excuse for not writing. 396 00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:38,132 Well, go ahead, Larry! Go! Go to Mexico! Write your heart out! Ándele, arriba! 397 00:28:38,299 --> 00:28:40,968 But I handle writers, Larry, not artists. 398 00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,804 You go be an artist. Let the rest of the world make a living. 399 00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:47,599 Here. It's my favorite fuchsia. Live and be well. 400 00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:12,458 (Owen) That's the house. This is good here. 401 00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:17,838 I'll be right back. I'm gonna visit my aunt. 402 00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:19,006 OK, bro. 403 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,798 - (object drops) - Oh, shit. 404 00:30:33,748 --> 00:30:36,124 (♪ Hawaiian music) 405 00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:46,218 Why, Mr. Lopez. 406 00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:54,268 Can I borrow that... towel? 407 00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,609 (Margaret) My big Chihuahua. 408 00:31:04,612 --> 00:31:06,613 - Oh! - (Mr. Lopez growls) 409 00:31:06,781 --> 00:31:08,824 (Margaret laughs) 410 00:31:11,077 --> 00:31:13,120 Grrr! Ruff, ruff! 411 00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,627 Ruff, ruff! Ruff! Grrr! 412 00:31:24,632 --> 00:31:26,633 (phone rings) 413 00:31:26,801 --> 00:31:28,844 Ruff, ruff, ruff! 414 00:31:34,350 --> 00:31:36,476 - Ruff! Ruff! - (Margaret moans) 415 00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:40,230 (phone still ringing) 416 00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:45,819 - Ruff, ruff! - Hello? 417 00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:48,822 Oh, hi, Joel. It's my agent. 418 00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:51,116 - Ruff! - My agente. 419 00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:54,494 How's L.A., darling? 420 00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:58,123 Oh, nothing much. I'm having a little trouble with the... gardener. 421 00:31:58,291 --> 00:32:00,834 - Ruff... ruff... - What sound, sweetie? 422 00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:03,003 Oh, that's the... the TV. 423 00:32:03,171 --> 00:32:05,839 - Ruff! Ru-ruff! - Uh... Old Yeller. 424 00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,176 Yes, I know they shot him in the end. 425 00:32:10,136 --> 00:32:12,137 Huh? Yes, darling. 426 00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:16,016 I'm aware of the book signing tonight... in Maui. 427 00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:19,227 I'll be there. Kiss, kiss. 428 00:32:23,983 --> 00:32:26,401 (growling and moans of pleasure) 429 00:32:55,431 --> 00:32:57,057 (motor starts) 430 00:32:58,017 --> 00:33:00,060 - (toots horn) - Bye, Mr. Lopez. 431 00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,744 (♪ Hawaiian music) 432 00:33:21,749 --> 00:33:23,792 Last boat to Maui! 433 00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:05,459 This is my first trip to the islands. 434 00:34:15,970 --> 00:34:19,306 (sings along with music) 435 00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:54,341 Oh! 436 00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,678 Oh, my God! 437 00:35:21,202 --> 00:35:23,662 (scream merging with laughter) 438 00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,673 The night... 439 00:35:34,841 --> 00:35:37,384 ..was...n't. 440 00:35:38,594 --> 00:35:40,720 Oy. 441 00:35:43,057 --> 00:35:47,519 There's probably halibut right here who could write better than me. 442 00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:53,900 Boy. The night was... 443 00:35:56,946 --> 00:35:59,531 If you got a line, fish, just yell it out. 444 00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:02,742 I'm up for grabs. 445 00:36:08,082 --> 00:36:10,584 - (engine fails to start) - Perfect. 446 00:36:14,922 --> 00:36:16,965 (sighs) 447 00:36:18,092 --> 00:36:20,760 (faraway phone ringing) 448 00:36:25,933 --> 00:36:28,059 (phone still ringing) 449 00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:37,235 What about Brenda Lee? You like Brenda Lee? 450 00:36:37,403 --> 00:36:39,487 - The jockey? - No. 451 00:36:41,782 --> 00:36:43,825 (ringing) 452 00:36:45,786 --> 00:36:48,288 - Cloudy. - (Owen) Aloha. 453 00:36:49,665 --> 00:36:51,958 - What? - I said aloha. 454 00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:54,419 - Hello. - Professor Donner? 455 00:36:55,671 --> 00:36:57,380 - Hello? - Hello! 456 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:02,010 - Hello. - Professor Donner, stay by the phone. 457 00:37:02,178 --> 00:37:04,262 I don't want 'em to be able to trace the call. 458 00:37:04,430 --> 00:37:05,764 (dial tone) 459 00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,149 (groans) 460 00:37:17,318 --> 00:37:19,361 (phone rings) 461 00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:22,489 - Who is this? - Professor Donner? 462 00:37:23,824 --> 00:37:24,991 Aloha! Hello! 463 00:37:25,159 --> 00:37:27,452 - Who is this? - It's Owen! 464 00:37:30,039 --> 00:37:32,332 - Owen? - Yeah, from class! 465 00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:33,792 What do you want? 466 00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,712 It's done. You want anything from Hawaii? 467 00:37:39,882 --> 00:37:42,342 - Hawaii? - Wiki-wiki. 468 00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:44,511 ♪ Aloha 'oe 469 00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:47,764 - What are you doing in Hawaii? - Crisscross. You know. 470 00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:52,686 Owen, I'm hanging up on you now. 471 00:37:52,853 --> 00:37:55,981 Oh, yeah, right! I got ya! Boy, are you smart! 472 00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:04,239 (phone rings) 473 00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:10,036 She didn't feel a thing. I know how important that is to you. 474 00:38:10,371 --> 00:38:12,414 - Who? - Your wife. 475 00:38:13,499 --> 00:38:16,418 She had a little trouble walkin', but that was from the gardener. 476 00:38:17,336 --> 00:38:21,089 - You saw my wife? - She was kind of a tart, Larry. 477 00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:24,301 But I can see why you married her. She was very beautiful. 478 00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:26,928 Owen, you stay away from my wife. 479 00:38:27,096 --> 00:38:29,222 (Owen hangs up) 480 00:38:32,601 --> 00:38:34,394 (phone rings) 481 00:38:34,562 --> 00:38:38,189 Did you hear what I said, Owen? You stay away from my wife. 482 00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:42,485 - I told you, it's done. Nobody saw. - What the hell are you talking about? 483 00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:45,322 Crisscross, like in the movie. Done! 484 00:38:45,781 --> 00:38:49,159 Owen, what the hell did you do to my wife? 485 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,578 I... I don't wanna say on the phone. 486 00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:54,873 All I can tell you is that I killed her last night. 487 00:38:55,374 --> 00:38:57,042 (dial tone) 488 00:38:57,209 --> 00:38:59,461 My God! Oh, my God. 489 00:39:00,087 --> 00:39:02,130 Oh, my God. 490 00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:04,090 (phone rings) 491 00:39:04,258 --> 00:39:07,260 Owen, what the hell did you do? Tell me the truth. 492 00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:10,847 Meet me tonight at 7:30 at Mulholland Drive and Cahuenga Pass. 493 00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:14,601 - We'll discuss your end of the bargain. - What are you talking about? 494 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:17,354 - You gotta kill my mother. - Kill your mother?! 495 00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:19,939 7:30, Cahuenga Pass. Crisscross. 496 00:39:20,107 --> 00:39:22,192 - Owen, I... - (Owen hangs up) 497 00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:24,486 Crisscross... Criss... 498 00:39:24,653 --> 00:39:28,656 Holy shit. He did it. He did it! The little bastard did it! 499 00:39:28,824 --> 00:39:32,786 He killed my wi... No, he didn't do it. He couldn't poss... No, he didn't do it. 500 00:39:32,953 --> 00:39:35,455 I'll call her up, call her up on the phone. 501 00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:39,084 She'll answer the phone, I'll hang up, and she won't be dead. 502 00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:41,294 That's it and that's all. 503 00:39:45,466 --> 00:39:47,509 (phone rings) 504 00:39:51,430 --> 00:39:56,601 Come on, come on, Margaret. Answer the phone. Answer the phone, Margaret. 505 00:39:56,977 --> 00:39:59,979 Why the hell isn't she answering the phone? 506 00:40:00,147 --> 00:40:04,109 Because she's dead. That's why she's not answering the phone. 507 00:40:04,276 --> 00:40:07,153 You don't answer the phone when you're dead! 508 00:40:09,115 --> 00:40:12,325 They're gonna think I did it. They're gonna think that I did it! 509 00:40:12,493 --> 00:40:15,662 Why would they think that I did it? Because I hate her guts! 510 00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:18,665 That's why they'll think that I did it. My God... 511 00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,167 I have no alibi. 512 00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:24,504 Lester! I was with you yesterday! Lester! 513 00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:30,009 I was with you yesterday, right, Lester? 514 00:40:30,177 --> 00:40:33,138 Right. And now I'm with Ms Gladstone. 515 00:40:33,514 --> 00:40:35,765 I left the club at one. I couldn't have done it! 516 00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:39,060 That's right. You couldn't have done it. Close the door on your way out. 517 00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:42,897 I couldn't have gone to Hawaii and back in that time. 518 00:40:43,065 --> 00:40:44,023 So what am I worried about? 519 00:40:44,191 --> 00:40:48,486 That's what I'd like to know. Hawaii and back? No way, man. You're cool. 520 00:40:48,654 --> 00:40:53,700 Well... Now, if he left the club at one, he could catch the three o'clock flight. 521 00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:57,162 You could be in Hawaii by five, given the three-hour time change. 522 00:40:57,329 --> 00:41:00,206 - She's got a point. - You could spend four hours there... 523 00:41:00,374 --> 00:41:02,959 ..and still catch the last flight out by ten. 524 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:06,546 - (Lester) That's true. - You'd arrive at LAX by 6am. 525 00:41:06,714 --> 00:41:10,884 An hour on the freeway... You'd be home by seven. 526 00:41:11,051 --> 00:41:14,387 Whatever it is, you're fuckin' guilty, man. 527 00:41:14,555 --> 00:41:17,056 Meet Senior Flight Supervisor Gladstone. 528 00:41:17,224 --> 00:41:20,894 Hi. Pleased to meet you. Listen, I've got a flight schedule in here. 529 00:41:21,061 --> 00:41:23,563 - I was on a rock! - A rock? 530 00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:26,316 They're gonna think I did it! I'm all motive and no alibi! 531 00:41:27,401 --> 00:41:29,527 I have no alibi! Motives are no problem. 532 00:41:29,695 --> 00:41:32,238 I'm up to my ass in motives. I'm majoring in motives. 533 00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:36,743 Alibi, nowhere near my neighborhood. But motives: whooo-ooh! 534 00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:41,039 - I gotta go! Can I borrow your car? - Sure, man. The keys are on the table, 535 00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:43,917 next to the door. Goodbye. 536 00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:45,752 I gotta find Beth. 537 00:41:48,255 --> 00:41:51,132 What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?! 538 00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:54,093 She's not dead. I'm crazy. I'm a crazy man. 539 00:41:54,261 --> 00:41:57,055 She is not dead. He didn't kill her. 540 00:41:57,765 --> 00:41:59,432 (Radio Announcer) Our top story from Hawaii: 541 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,477 Novelist Margaret Donner is missing and presumed dead. 542 00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:06,272 - According to the police... - Holy Christ! 543 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,775 I'm not crazy! She's presumed! 544 00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:13,279 She was last seen boarding a boat to Maui. She disappeared along route. 545 00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:16,950 - A search is on for the body. - Margaret is dead! Poor Margaret! 546 00:42:17,117 --> 00:42:20,453 She is the renowned author of the best-selling novel ''Hot Fire.'' 547 00:42:20,621 --> 00:42:23,915 That slut! She is a slut! Slut! 548 00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:26,334 Foul play has not been ruled out. 549 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,461 I'm gonna fry! 550 00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:30,755 (♪ didgeridoo playing) 551 00:42:32,132 --> 00:42:33,633 (door shuts) 552 00:42:34,134 --> 00:42:36,135 I'm in really deep shit, Beth. 553 00:42:36,303 --> 00:42:39,472 Ah. Look who's decided to breeze back into my life. 554 00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:42,392 - I gotta talk to you. - You have to talk to me? 555 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,478 You don't return my calls or get in touch. 556 00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:47,313 But hey, you need something from me? 557 00:42:48,482 --> 00:42:50,441 Make yourself at home. Have a seat. 558 00:42:50,609 --> 00:42:52,986 Can I offer you something? A cool drink? 559 00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:55,655 Would you listen to me? I'm in a lot of trouble! 560 00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:58,116 - I'm on the edge of my seat. - It's Margaret. 561 00:42:58,284 --> 00:43:00,159 Don't tell me! She's come back. 562 00:43:00,327 --> 00:43:02,787 - She's... - Pregnant, put on weight... 563 00:43:02,955 --> 00:43:04,038 She's dead! 564 00:43:05,332 --> 00:43:06,833 Oh, God. 565 00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:09,669 - It's awful. - Larry, I'm sorry. 566 00:43:11,338 --> 00:43:14,215 - Did she suffer? - He said she didn't feel a thing. 567 00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:15,842 - Her doctor? - Her killer. 568 00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:19,512 - She was killed?! - She's dead. It works that way. 569 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,515 Wait! Did the police find a clue or have a motive or... 570 00:43:22,683 --> 00:43:26,394 If there was a motive, the fat little bastard never would've killed her! 571 00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:29,856 Don't you see? Eliminate the motive, establish an alibi. 572 00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:33,526 - Just like I told him! - Just like you told him?! 573 00:43:33,694 --> 00:43:37,488 - We were speaking hypothetically. - Larry Donner! Did... 574 00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:41,492 - Did you pay a man to kill your wife? - No! He just did it. 575 00:43:41,660 --> 00:43:45,288 - Oh, my God! - Hey, look. I told a guy something... 576 00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:47,206 ...and he took it the wrong way. 577 00:43:47,374 --> 00:43:49,834 What, uh... What did you say to him? 578 00:43:50,002 --> 00:43:53,212 - ''Don't kill my wife'', wink, wink? - I don't like your tone. 579 00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:56,215 - Oh, God. You better leave. - I got no place else to go. 580 00:43:56,383 --> 00:43:59,594 - My head is spinning. - Oh, and my head isn't creamed corn? 581 00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:04,974 You announced that you may or may not have inadvertently murdered someone. 582 00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:06,059 Mm-hm. 583 00:44:06,226 --> 00:44:10,396 This puts me in a highly distracted state of mind. I am nauseous. 584 00:44:10,564 --> 00:44:13,816 Great! Margaret is dead, I have no alibi, 585 00:44:13,984 --> 00:44:15,652 and you're mad that I upset your stomach. 586 00:44:15,819 --> 00:44:19,280 Well, excuse me. I'll just go so the police can start their manhunt! 587 00:44:21,241 --> 00:44:23,951 One little murder and I'm Jack the Ripper! 588 00:44:26,872 --> 00:44:29,749 Jeez, you think you know somebody. 589 00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:43,096 Cahuenga Pass. 590 00:44:43,263 --> 00:44:45,598 (Larry's voice) Leave a snappy message. Bye. 591 00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:48,935 Larry, it's Beth. Um... 592 00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:51,813 Call me at home right now, OK? As soon as you get in. 593 00:44:51,980 --> 00:44:53,648 I'm very confused. 594 00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:58,820 You... came in with just... murder and Margaret, and I just... 595 00:44:59,613 --> 00:45:02,573 Call me... now. Thank you. 596 00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:11,290 - Larry! - Get in the car, Owen. 597 00:45:11,458 --> 00:45:13,835 - This isn't your car. - I borrowed it. Get in! 598 00:45:14,294 --> 00:45:17,797 I thought you might like to have this. It belonged to Margaret. 599 00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:20,258 Get in the car. Get in the car! 600 00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:25,930 Look what you did. You killed my wife! 601 00:45:26,432 --> 00:45:28,474 No, I didn't. Yes, I did. 602 00:45:29,184 --> 00:45:32,478 You're sick, Owen. You need care. I am taking you to the police. 603 00:45:32,646 --> 00:45:35,106 Did you know Hawaii was a series of islands... 604 00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:38,818 ..that was all spit up by the same volcano? I never knew that. 605 00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:42,530 You killed somebody! You're a murderer! You took a life! 606 00:45:42,698 --> 00:45:44,699 You're right. I'm no good. 607 00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:47,744 How could I do that? I'm a sick, sick per... Cows! 608 00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:53,040 - Why did you kill my wife?! - I thought you wanted me to. 609 00:45:53,208 --> 00:45:57,628 You said you wished she was dead. I told you I wished my momma was dead. 610 00:45:57,796 --> 00:46:00,339 I kill your wife, you kill my momma. That's fair. 611 00:46:00,507 --> 00:46:02,508 I am not killing your mother. 612 00:46:02,676 --> 00:46:06,679 - You have to turn yourself in. - No. It was part of our plan. 613 00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:11,184 What plan?! There was no plan, you moron! 614 00:46:11,351 --> 00:46:14,270 You killed a person and I'm takin' you to the police! 615 00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:17,523 I'll just tell 'em that you did it. You got the motive. 616 00:46:19,276 --> 00:46:21,527 - You're gonna tell them the truth. - Huh? 617 00:46:21,695 --> 00:46:25,698 You're gonna tell the police the truth or I'll kill us both, I swear! 618 00:46:26,408 --> 00:46:29,202 - I didn't do this only for me. - Say goodbye, Owen. 619 00:46:29,369 --> 00:46:32,538 Larry... Larry, slow down. You're goin' a tad fast. 620 00:46:33,332 --> 00:46:36,209 Please slow down, Larry! I don't like goin' fast! 621 00:46:36,376 --> 00:46:39,337 - Are you gonna tell 'em you did it? - Please slow down! 622 00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:40,671 Huh? 623 00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:44,467 - Yeah. I'll do it. - OK. 624 00:46:45,385 --> 00:46:47,178 - Please stop the car! - I can't! 625 00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:48,971 - Stop the car! - There's no brakes! 626 00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:53,059 - What?! Watch out for that car! - (car horn) 627 00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:56,020 - Oh. You're a good driver, Larry. - Just shut up! 628 00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:13,037 Larry! Larry! 629 00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:20,711 Larry, you're originally from the East, aren't you? 630 00:47:21,213 --> 00:47:24,382 - Owen! - A man on our block was from the East. 631 00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:26,759 Mr. Brockman. He was in the button business. 632 00:47:26,927 --> 00:47:29,095 - Is that right? - Yeah. This is good! 633 00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:31,389 It's like the Flintstones car wash. 634 00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:47,822 Larry! Ooh, I can't look! 635 00:47:47,990 --> 00:47:50,408 (truck horn) 636 00:47:55,414 --> 00:47:56,622 Whoa! 637 00:48:20,647 --> 00:48:24,233 So are you telling me you weren't driving that car? 638 00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:26,986 Look, man. It's like I told you. 639 00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:31,657 He borrowed the car yesterday morning and I haven't seen him since. 640 00:48:32,534 --> 00:48:37,121 - Did he say where he was going? - No. Mumbled about motives and alibis. 641 00:48:37,289 --> 00:48:39,123 Motives and alibis? 642 00:48:39,291 --> 00:48:42,585 He figured that since Margaret ruined his life, 643 00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:43,836 you'd think he killed her or somethin'. 644 00:48:44,004 --> 00:48:46,505 - You don't think he did? - No, I don't think so. 645 00:48:46,673 --> 00:48:50,343 Personally, if the bitch stole my book, I'd kill her. But that's me. 646 00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:53,304 Larry? There's no way he coulda done it. 647 00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:54,764 What makes you say that? 648 00:48:55,974 --> 00:48:58,976 Because Larry never did... 649 00:48:59,144 --> 00:49:01,020 ...anything. 650 00:49:02,314 --> 00:49:05,650 OK. Here we go. Eggs à la Owen. 651 00:49:05,817 --> 00:49:09,028 (sighs) Owen, get it through your thick head. 652 00:49:09,196 --> 00:49:11,530 I may be a lot of things, but I am not a killer. 653 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:15,034 You don't have to blow her brains out. 654 00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,870 Thank you! That takes the pressure right off. 655 00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:21,248 She's old. She's got a bad ticker. 656 00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:24,293 All you gotta do is jerk around a lot when you talk to her. 657 00:49:24,461 --> 00:49:27,171 - ''Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lift!'' - Would you stop it? 658 00:49:29,091 --> 00:49:33,219 Well, just meet her. Maybe she'd be somebody you'd like to kill. 659 00:49:33,387 --> 00:49:36,639 (Momma) Owen! What the hell's going on out there?! 660 00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:37,890 Nothing, Momma! 661 00:49:38,058 --> 00:49:39,100 (whispers) We woke her up. 662 00:49:39,267 --> 00:49:42,228 Who are you talking to? Who's in there? 663 00:49:43,021 --> 00:49:44,563 - Nobody, Momma! - (door bangs) 664 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:48,943 Who's this? 665 00:49:51,154 --> 00:49:52,863 This is Cousin Paddy. 666 00:49:53,031 --> 00:49:57,243 He's gonna be stayin' with us for a while. Isn't that nice? 667 00:49:58,078 --> 00:50:00,162 You don't have a Cousin Paddy! 668 00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:03,749 You lied to me! 669 00:50:05,293 --> 00:50:06,502 (Larry groans) 670 00:50:10,757 --> 00:50:13,676 - That's it. That's all. - Larry... Larry. 671 00:50:15,137 --> 00:50:17,430 I'm sorry. She makes me so nervous. 672 00:50:17,597 --> 00:50:21,267 Come on. Go in there and sit down. I'll get you some ice. 673 00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:25,146 So what do you think of her? 674 00:50:26,314 --> 00:50:28,858 I think she could relax a little bit. 675 00:50:29,943 --> 00:50:31,944 - Are you gonna do it? - Owen... 676 00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:35,322 I'm not gonna kill your mother. If you wanna do it, you do it. 677 00:50:35,490 --> 00:50:39,118 A guy kills my wife. He can't even kill his own mother. 678 00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:41,829 - You wanna see my coin collection? - No! 679 00:50:43,623 --> 00:50:45,708 I collect coins. 680 00:50:46,835 --> 00:50:50,337 - I got a dandy collection. - I don't wanna see it, Owen. 681 00:50:51,715 --> 00:50:54,383 - But it's my collection. - I don't care. 682 00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:57,303 Look, Owen. I'm just not in the mood. OK? 683 00:51:05,479 --> 00:51:07,646 Never showed it to anyone before. 684 00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:13,152 - All right, I'll look at it. - No, it's OK. 685 00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,071 - Show it to me. - No, you don't mean it. 686 00:51:15,238 --> 00:51:17,573 - Show me the damn coins! - All right. 687 00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:20,993 This one is a nickel. 688 00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:23,996 This one also is a nickel. 689 00:51:25,290 --> 00:51:27,374 And here's a quarter. 690 00:51:28,376 --> 00:51:30,461 And another quarter. 691 00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:33,839 And a penny. 692 00:51:34,758 --> 00:51:37,134 See? Nickel, nickel, quarter, quarter, penny. 693 00:51:37,302 --> 00:51:39,845 Are any of these coins worth anything? 694 00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:42,431 No. 695 00:51:43,016 --> 00:51:47,019 And here... is another nickel. 696 00:51:47,979 --> 00:51:51,190 - Why do you have them? - What do you mean? 697 00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:56,028 The purpose of a coin collection is that the coins are worth something, Owen. 698 00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:57,238 Oh, but they are. 699 00:51:58,281 --> 00:52:01,075 This one here I got in change... 700 00:52:01,243 --> 00:52:04,370 ...when my dad took me to see Peter, Paul and Mary. 701 00:52:05,205 --> 00:52:09,875 And this one I got in change when I bought a hot dog at the circus. 702 00:52:10,043 --> 00:52:13,879 My daddy let me keep the change. He always let me keep the change. 703 00:52:14,089 --> 00:52:15,881 This one... 704 00:52:16,049 --> 00:52:17,633 ...is my favorite. 705 00:52:17,801 --> 00:52:21,053 This is Martin and Lewis at the Hollywood Palladium. 706 00:52:22,305 --> 00:52:23,556 Look at that. 707 00:52:24,349 --> 00:52:27,768 See the way it shines on the little eagle? 708 00:52:30,063 --> 00:52:31,480 I loved my dad a lot. 709 00:52:34,776 --> 00:52:38,904 - So this whole collection is... - Change my daddy let me keep. 710 00:52:39,781 --> 00:52:41,782 - What was his name? - Ned. 711 00:52:41,950 --> 00:52:44,034 He used to call me his little Ned. 712 00:52:44,828 --> 00:52:47,288 That's why Momma named me Owen. 713 00:52:47,455 --> 00:52:49,456 I really miss him. 714 00:52:49,624 --> 00:52:52,877 - It's a real nice collection, Owen. - Thank you, Larry. 715 00:52:53,044 --> 00:52:56,380 - Owen! Food! - In a minute, Momma! 716 00:52:56,548 --> 00:52:58,257 Don't you ''in a minute'' me! 717 00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:00,843 Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! 718 00:53:01,011 --> 00:53:03,721 I want two soft-boiled eggs, white toast 719 00:53:03,889 --> 00:53:06,098 and some of that grape jelly, goddamn it! 720 00:53:06,266 --> 00:53:08,184 And don't burn the toast! 721 00:53:08,351 --> 00:53:09,810 - Kill her, Larry. - I can't. 722 00:53:09,978 --> 00:53:14,398 You gotta kill her for me, Larry. Don't you understand? Crisscross. 723 00:53:14,566 --> 00:53:18,986 Crisscross! You gotta do it, Larry! If you don't, I will. I swear I will. 724 00:53:19,154 --> 00:53:21,488 Move it, fat boy! 725 00:53:21,656 --> 00:53:23,449 That's it! I'm gonna choke her to death! 726 00:53:23,617 --> 00:53:27,036 - No, Owen! - I swear to God, I'm gonna kill her! 727 00:53:28,622 --> 00:53:30,456 - Calm down, Owen. - Larry... 728 00:53:30,624 --> 00:53:33,834 It's gonna be OK. It's gonna be OK, Owen. 729 00:53:34,002 --> 00:53:36,086 I promise. 730 00:53:40,592 --> 00:53:42,468 Will you do it? 731 00:53:42,636 --> 00:53:44,553 Yeah. I'll do it. 732 00:53:44,721 --> 00:53:47,139 Larry, you're the best pal a guy ever had. 733 00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:49,558 Here. Look. I want you to have this. 734 00:53:49,726 --> 00:53:53,687 Look. Here. It's a souvenir from the London Bridge gift shop in Arizona. 735 00:53:53,855 --> 00:53:57,983 Look. See? They brought this bridge over from London, England, 736 00:53:58,151 --> 00:53:59,485 stone by stone. 737 00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:02,029 See the little bridge? See the stones there? 738 00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:05,115 - Yeah, I see 'em. - Here. You can have that. 739 00:54:09,788 --> 00:54:10,955 Crisscross. 740 00:54:12,540 --> 00:54:15,834 - When did you last see him? - I can't remember. I told you. 741 00:54:16,962 --> 00:54:20,089 - The day after his wife disappeared? - I didn't say that. 742 00:54:20,257 --> 00:54:21,799 Miss Ryan, why are you protecting him? 743 00:54:21,967 --> 00:54:24,843 I'm not. I just don't think he killed her. 744 00:54:25,011 --> 00:54:27,513 Where do you think he is, Miss Ryan? 745 00:54:27,681 --> 00:54:29,598 I don't know! 746 00:54:30,558 --> 00:54:33,102 - He's in a lot of trouble. - He didn't do it. 747 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,187 Then who do you suppose did? 748 00:54:38,358 --> 00:54:41,527 - Somebody else. - So you do think it was murder. 749 00:54:42,862 --> 00:54:45,990 - You know who killed her, don't you? - No. 750 00:54:46,157 --> 00:54:49,159 - Yes, you do. - I do not! He wouldn't tell me! 751 00:54:53,373 --> 00:54:56,875 Did Professor Donner hire a man to kill his wife? 752 00:54:57,043 --> 00:55:00,170 No! He said... not really. 753 00:55:04,342 --> 00:55:08,929 And I heard him scream out ''I hate her! I wish she were dead!'' 754 00:55:09,097 --> 00:55:12,975 Yeah, I heard him. He said ''I hate her. I wish she was dead.'' 755 00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:14,810 That's what he said. 756 00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:18,230 ''I hate her. I wish she was dead.'' 757 00:55:18,982 --> 00:55:21,191 He called her a very bad name... 758 00:55:21,359 --> 00:55:24,737 ...and screamed ''I hate her. I wish she were dead.'' 759 00:55:26,031 --> 00:55:28,115 It's a coffee-table book. 760 00:55:31,661 --> 00:55:33,203 (TV on) 761 00:55:35,540 --> 00:55:37,374 All right, Momma. 762 00:55:37,542 --> 00:55:39,877 Turn off the TV. 763 00:55:40,045 --> 00:55:41,795 OK. 764 00:55:43,673 --> 00:55:45,758 Goodbye, Momma. 765 00:55:50,847 --> 00:55:53,182 She'll be sleepin' in a couple of minutes. 766 00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:55,225 I graduated from Yale. 767 00:55:56,561 --> 00:55:59,772 All right. Out you go. 768 00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:03,192 - Out? Out where? - Out on the ledge. Go out on the roof. 769 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,986 No, no. I'm not going out on any ledge. 770 00:56:06,154 --> 00:56:07,821 You gotta make it look like a burglar. 771 00:56:07,989 --> 00:56:11,617 - You go in, you mess up things... - No, Owen. This is going too far. 772 00:56:11,785 --> 00:56:13,243 - You want outta this? - Yes. 773 00:56:13,411 --> 00:56:15,079 Then fulfill your end of the bargain. 774 00:56:15,246 --> 00:56:18,207 You go in, stuff a pillow over her face and leave. 775 00:56:18,375 --> 00:56:21,585 You walk out that door. You never have to see me again, OK? 776 00:56:21,753 --> 00:56:23,796 Oh, God! 777 00:56:26,132 --> 00:56:30,719 - OK. Out you go. - Shit. I hate heights. 778 00:56:32,180 --> 00:56:33,180 Larry! 779 00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:39,770 - You all right? Move your hand. - Why? 780 00:56:39,938 --> 00:56:41,647 Gotta close the window. 781 00:56:47,362 --> 00:56:49,947 And like this you kill an evening. 782 00:56:52,867 --> 00:56:55,244 Rats! Now I got Willard here. 783 00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:59,164 I'm bein' held captive by a little troll 784 00:56:59,332 --> 00:57:02,543 who should be hanging off a rear-view mirror. 785 00:57:02,710 --> 00:57:04,795 I'm not doin' this. 786 00:57:07,590 --> 00:57:09,258 - Aargh! - What are you doin'? 787 00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:12,344 I'm selling The Watchtower! What do you think?! 788 00:57:12,512 --> 00:57:14,721 You got rats the size of Oldsmobile's here! 789 00:57:18,017 --> 00:57:20,102 Rats. 790 00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:23,856 OK, forget about the burglar stuff. Just go through her door. 791 00:57:24,023 --> 00:57:28,902 It's less dramatic but I don't wanna make you uncomfortable. Here, use this. 792 00:57:29,070 --> 00:57:32,030 - I really don't like you, Owen. - OK, I gotta go. 793 00:57:32,198 --> 00:57:35,576 If I'm late for my lane, they tack on an extra buck. 794 00:57:43,877 --> 00:57:46,003 Ugh. What a week. 795 00:58:14,365 --> 00:58:20,204 Mrs. Lift, I know you don't want to hear anything derogatory about your son. 796 00:58:20,371 --> 00:58:23,749 I understand that. Because he's not a bad man, Mrs. Lift. 797 00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:28,754 He's a nice man, actually. He is a lunatic. No, Mrs. Lift, he is. 798 00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:31,381 He's a lunatic. And, um... 799 00:58:31,549 --> 00:58:33,133 I don't have to be here now, Mrs. Lift. 800 00:58:33,301 --> 00:58:38,680 I could be in Mexico, out of all of this. I'm only here to stop him fro... 801 00:58:40,266 --> 00:58:42,768 How do you say this, Mrs. Lift? 802 00:58:43,436 --> 00:58:45,604 Listen to me, Mrs. Lift. 803 00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:49,900 Your son... killed my wife. 804 00:58:50,068 --> 00:58:53,820 And now he wants me to kill you. 805 00:58:55,031 --> 00:58:57,449 (snores) 806 00:58:57,742 --> 00:59:00,244 - Mrs. Lift? - (snores) 807 00:59:03,414 --> 00:59:07,000 - I'm gonna go read the paper now and... - (snoring continues) 808 00:59:07,168 --> 00:59:09,711 I'm just glad we had this chance to talk. 809 00:59:11,297 --> 00:59:13,215 (snores) 810 00:59:14,968 --> 00:59:19,471 I'm a fugitive. The little bastard turned me into Richard Kimble. 811 00:59:19,639 --> 00:59:22,849 He shit and shoved me in it. I gotta get outta here! I gotta go! 812 00:59:24,102 --> 00:59:27,771 Where am I running? Evidence. Incriminating evidence! 813 00:59:32,443 --> 00:59:33,569 Nothing. 814 00:59:38,408 --> 00:59:40,492 Ha! A lei. 815 00:59:41,035 --> 00:59:43,120 Poha jelly. 816 00:59:43,830 --> 00:59:45,163 Not enough! 817 00:59:46,666 --> 00:59:49,710 Poha jelly, a lei and a doll. I need some evidence. 818 00:59:49,877 --> 00:59:51,878 Aha! Bingo. The mother lode. 819 00:59:52,046 --> 00:59:54,798 A plane ticket! A little careless, Owen, aren't we? 820 00:59:54,966 --> 00:59:57,175 Los Angeles, Hawaii, 10am! 821 00:59:57,343 --> 01:00:00,345 (cackles) I got you! A plane ticket! 822 01:00:00,513 --> 01:00:02,514 With my name on it. 823 01:00:02,682 --> 01:00:04,474 Oh, God! 824 01:00:04,642 --> 01:00:06,727 (knock at door) 825 01:00:11,316 --> 01:00:12,399 Cops! 826 01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:16,111 (knocking continues) 827 01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:30,959 Mr. Lift? 828 01:00:35,256 --> 01:00:37,215 (heart thumping) 829 01:00:45,558 --> 01:00:47,601 We'd like to ask you a few questions. 830 01:00:47,769 --> 01:00:49,686 I hope there's no trouble. 831 01:00:49,854 --> 01:00:53,899 I was at the bowlin' alley all night. I hope there's nothin' wrong. 832 01:00:54,067 --> 01:00:56,485 No, we'd like to ask you about Professor Donner. 833 01:00:57,153 --> 01:01:00,614 - Professor Donner? - Yes. Would you mind ifwe came in? 834 01:01:01,908 --> 01:01:04,618 - In the house? - Just a few questions. 835 01:01:05,036 --> 01:01:07,663 I... I'm sorry. You can't. 836 01:01:10,124 --> 01:01:13,293 My momma's real sick. I don't think it's a good idea. 837 01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:16,004 - It'll only take a minute. - No, I... 838 01:01:21,511 --> 01:01:23,845 OK! All right. Come on up. 839 01:01:24,013 --> 01:01:27,015 If it'll only take a minute, that won't be so bad. 840 01:01:27,558 --> 01:01:29,601 Would you like to meet my momma? 841 01:01:32,980 --> 01:01:37,401 We understand you take Professor Donner's course at Valley College. 842 01:01:37,568 --> 01:01:39,820 Yeah. Creative writing. 843 01:01:39,987 --> 01:01:42,614 I'm gonna put my bowlin' ball away. 844 01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:46,868 - I'm his star pupil. - Do you have any idea where he is? 845 01:01:47,036 --> 01:01:51,498 Did you try his apartment? He goes there a lot. He keeps his stuff there. 846 01:01:53,501 --> 01:01:55,627 You guys wanna have some tea? 847 01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:57,629 We've got orange pekoe,... 848 01:01:57,797 --> 01:02:00,215 ...we've got Irish breakfast,... 849 01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:02,300 ...we've got Darjeeling... 850 01:02:02,468 --> 01:02:05,971 Mr. Lift, have you ever heard Professor Donner talk about his wife? 851 01:02:06,139 --> 01:02:10,851 Professor Donner? Oh, he... he always talked about her like she was an angel. 852 01:02:11,018 --> 01:02:14,396 He loved his wife. He worshipped the ground she... Hi. 853 01:02:16,482 --> 01:02:19,192 Hi, tea! Hi, tea. Hi. 854 01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:22,070 You never heard him say anything bad about her? 855 01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:27,951 Oh. This is Irish breakfast. I'll get Darjeeling. 856 01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:31,496 Whatever you want, Mr. Lift. We won't be havin' any. 857 01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:35,667 - What was that question again? - (Momma) Owen! 858 01:02:38,504 --> 01:02:40,213 Momma! You're alive! 859 01:02:43,134 --> 01:02:45,510 Old people, you have to reassure them. 860 01:02:47,597 --> 01:02:50,390 Mr. Lift, can we get back to Professor Donner? 861 01:02:50,558 --> 01:02:54,978 Yes. By all means, let's get back to him. 862 01:02:56,481 --> 01:02:59,316 - Mr. Lift... - Oh! You know what? 863 01:02:59,484 --> 01:03:01,860 This... This box is empty. 864 01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:05,363 Could you get me some tea in the pantry? 865 01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:08,533 Sure. No problem. 866 01:03:10,203 --> 01:03:14,664 (detective) You said that he loved his wife. What gave you that idea? 867 01:03:15,416 --> 01:03:17,667 Oh! I'm sorry, officer. 868 01:03:17,835 --> 01:03:21,671 I have some tea right here on the stove. It won't be necessary. 869 01:03:21,839 --> 01:03:25,217 - Oh. No problem. - What was that question again? 870 01:03:25,384 --> 01:03:28,261 What makes you think that he loved his wife? 871 01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:33,016 But you know what you could get me is some sugar. 872 01:03:33,184 --> 01:03:34,392 Is it in the pantry? 873 01:03:36,020 --> 01:03:38,480 - Yeah. - No problem. 874 01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:43,527 I shouldn't use sugar in my tea because I'm carryin' around this spare tire. 875 01:03:43,694 --> 01:03:47,489 I'd like to get rid of it but it's so hard to cut back. 876 01:03:48,449 --> 01:03:52,327 - Owen! You did it, didn't you, Owen? - No, Momma, I didn't. 877 01:03:52,495 --> 01:03:55,872 - Yes, you did! - No! Honest to God, I didn't do it! 878 01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:57,833 You told them to take me away! 879 01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,920 Oh. No, Momma. No. 880 01:04:02,129 --> 01:04:05,257 - You came to take me away! - I'm sorry. 881 01:04:05,424 --> 01:04:09,803 - My momma's not feelin' well. - Not feeling well, my foot! 882 01:04:09,971 --> 01:04:11,680 - I'm sorry. - You little bastard! 883 01:04:11,848 --> 01:04:14,558 I said you'd desert me, and you did! 884 01:04:14,725 --> 01:04:17,894 The only way they'll get me outta here is to drag me out! 885 01:04:18,062 --> 01:04:21,106 You're gonna have to take me out in a pine box! 886 01:04:22,483 --> 01:04:25,527 Get out! Get outta my house! 887 01:04:27,113 --> 01:04:28,989 Owen! 888 01:04:29,907 --> 01:04:31,867 You're grounded! 889 01:04:34,161 --> 01:04:36,204 I can't believe that you brought them here! 890 01:04:36,372 --> 01:04:39,124 - Why didn't you kill Momma? - Because I'm not a killer! 891 01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:43,253 I can't put a pillow over her face and squeeze the life out of her! 892 01:04:47,133 --> 01:04:50,135 - You see that door with the hook on it? - Yeah. 893 01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:53,680 Every night around nine o'clock, she yells ''Bath'' 894 01:04:53,848 --> 01:04:55,807 and hangs her shawl on that hook. 895 01:04:55,975 --> 01:04:58,310 - I'll bet that's where I come in. - Yeah. 896 01:04:58,477 --> 01:05:00,687 - Now, how did I know that? - Come on, come on. 897 01:05:00,855 --> 01:05:02,731 - Watch out for my skates. - Ow! 898 01:05:08,696 --> 01:05:10,780 (hinge falls down stairs) 899 01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:15,285 She'll get out of her chair, she'll go to the door, 900 01:05:15,453 --> 01:05:19,122 you go behind her and pow! Down the stairs she goes. 901 01:05:19,290 --> 01:05:23,001 - And where are you gonna be? - Howie's Lanes. Come on. 902 01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:39,392 To hell with this guy! What am I? Crazy? 903 01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,562 I'm outta here. I can't stay here. 904 01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:45,941 - I can't stay in this house! - (siren) 905 01:05:54,575 --> 01:05:56,660 Stand back, please. 906 01:06:09,048 --> 01:06:11,549 Milk and Mallomars... 907 01:06:36,075 --> 01:06:38,201 Bath!! 908 01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:42,330 - Who the hell are you?! - I'm Owen's friend. 909 01:06:42,498 --> 01:06:46,668 - Owen doesn't have a friend! - That's because he's shy. 910 01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:48,878 No, he's not. He's fat and he's stupid. 911 01:06:49,046 --> 01:06:51,464 Get outta my house! Where is Owen? 912 01:06:51,632 --> 01:06:53,925 - Owen went bowling. - I want Owen! 913 01:06:54,093 --> 01:06:56,845 - He'll be back soon. - I want my bath and my medicine! 914 01:06:57,013 --> 01:06:59,222 - I can get it for you. - Who the hell are you? 915 01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:01,433 - Let me hang that up. - I can do it myself! 916 01:07:01,600 --> 01:07:03,018 I know, but I'd like to hang it up for you. 917 01:07:03,185 --> 01:07:05,270 Get out of my way, you black bastard! 918 01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:06,980 What?! 919 01:07:08,065 --> 01:07:09,524 Mrs. Lift! 920 01:07:09,942 --> 01:07:12,444 - He tried to kill me. - What? 921 01:07:12,611 --> 01:07:14,988 I said, he's tryin' to kill me! 922 01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:16,614 Mrs. Lift! Don't... 923 01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:19,534 I can hang up my own goddamn shawl. 924 01:07:22,830 --> 01:07:25,999 He's trying to kill me! 925 01:07:26,167 --> 01:07:30,378 I asked for the salted nuts! He brought me the unsalted nuts! 926 01:07:30,546 --> 01:07:33,131 The unsalted nuts make me choke! 927 01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:40,305 Aargh! 928 01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:52,859 Pain in the ass! 929 01:07:59,617 --> 01:08:01,493 Oh, no! 930 01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:17,842 Your friend had an accident. He's dead! 931 01:08:18,010 --> 01:08:21,054 You go bowling and leave a corpse to take care of me! 932 01:08:21,222 --> 01:08:23,932 - He's dead? - See for yourself! 933 01:08:25,768 --> 01:08:27,852 Larry! My friend! 934 01:08:28,020 --> 01:08:31,606 - My friend! Larry! - (mimics) ''My friend! My friend!'' 935 01:08:31,774 --> 01:08:33,775 You little crybaby! 936 01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:37,487 Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place! 937 01:09:45,681 --> 01:09:47,640 Larry, you're alive! 938 01:09:50,728 --> 01:09:52,687 You killed her. 939 01:10:04,366 --> 01:10:07,952 Holy shit! What a dream I was having! 940 01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:10,455 Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me! 941 01:10:10,623 --> 01:10:14,375 - Mrs. Lift? - Get away from me, you horse's ass! 942 01:10:17,922 --> 01:10:20,256 (groans) 943 01:10:25,137 --> 01:10:28,723 She's not a woman. She's the Terminator. 944 01:10:33,938 --> 01:10:36,022 (dinging) 945 01:10:58,003 --> 01:11:01,089 The ex-husband of missing novelist Margaret Donner... 946 01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:04,384 ...is wanted for questioning but has now himself disappeared. 947 01:11:04,551 --> 01:11:07,470 If you have any information regarding his whereabouts 948 01:11:07,638 --> 01:11:09,347 contact your local police. 949 01:11:09,515 --> 01:11:12,934 Owen! There's a murderer in the house! 950 01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:15,895 Hello, police? I found him! The wife murderer! 951 01:11:16,063 --> 01:11:18,189 - He's here! - Gimme the phone! 952 01:11:18,649 --> 01:11:20,650 I'm on the next train to Mexico. 953 01:11:20,818 --> 01:11:24,487 - No! This is no time to panic. - This is the perfect time to panic! 954 01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:28,866 She turned me in! Do what you want with her. I gotta think about myself. 955 01:11:29,034 --> 01:11:31,119 Larry, don't leave me! 956 01:11:32,204 --> 01:11:33,871 Larry! 957 01:11:42,006 --> 01:11:43,881 (cracking) 958 01:11:51,348 --> 01:11:52,890 I'm sorry, Larry. 959 01:11:54,184 --> 01:11:56,060 It's OK, Owen. 960 01:11:56,228 --> 01:12:00,315 - I messed everything up. - Owen, it's gonna be OK. 961 01:12:00,482 --> 01:12:02,108 I ruined your life. 962 01:12:02,568 --> 01:12:06,446 Come on, Owen. Sometimes things happen in life for a reason. 963 01:12:07,781 --> 01:12:12,035 No, really. Maybe I was meant to go to Mexico to be a writer. You never know. 964 01:12:12,202 --> 01:12:14,537 This is a great ending. 965 01:12:14,705 --> 01:12:18,249 I don't have the beginning, but this is a great ending. 966 01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:22,128 Story of my life. I always have great endings and no beginnings. 967 01:12:22,296 --> 01:12:24,839 That's not good for a writer, is it? 968 01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:27,091 No, it's not. 969 01:12:29,511 --> 01:12:31,137 How about ''The night was humid?'' 970 01:12:35,851 --> 01:12:38,603 - It's hot in here. - Yeah, hot and close. 971 01:12:38,771 --> 01:12:42,357 - Moist. - Right. ''The night was moist.'' 972 01:12:42,524 --> 01:12:46,486 This is what I'm talking about. It's writing. Finding the perfect word. 973 01:12:46,653 --> 01:12:50,156 The perfect start. ''It was the best of times, it was the worst of times''. 974 01:12:50,324 --> 01:12:52,325 ''Now is the winter of our discontent''. 975 01:12:52,493 --> 01:12:56,037 See what I'm saying? Perfect beginnings. Perfect words. 976 01:12:56,205 --> 01:12:59,665 It's like us. We're on a train to Mexico. We're on the lam. 977 01:12:59,833 --> 01:13:02,126 It's exciting, it's kinda mysterious. 978 01:13:02,294 --> 01:13:05,463 Do you say ''The night was humid'' or ''The night was moist?'' 979 01:13:05,631 --> 01:13:08,466 - That's writing! - The night was sultry. 980 01:13:14,098 --> 01:13:16,808 I'm getting the hell outta here! 981 01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:21,187 Too goddamn sultry in here! 982 01:13:25,734 --> 01:13:27,068 Where you goin'? 983 01:13:27,903 --> 01:13:29,404 I'm gonna kill the bitch. 984 01:13:31,031 --> 01:13:33,825 - You want anything? - You can get me a Chunky. 985 01:13:42,126 --> 01:13:46,170 - Come here, Mrs. Lift. - You stay away from me, you murderer! 986 01:13:51,009 --> 01:13:52,510 Momma... 987 01:13:52,761 --> 01:13:54,220 Mrs. Lift! 988 01:13:54,638 --> 01:13:56,764 - (Owen) Momma! - Murderer! Murderer! 989 01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:01,394 Momma... Momma... 990 01:14:01,562 --> 01:14:06,149 Sultry? I'll show you something sultry, Mrs. Lift! 991 01:14:06,358 --> 01:14:07,859 G, 54. 992 01:14:08,026 --> 01:14:13,072 Stupid bingo! Don't you idiots know there's a murderer loose on this train? 993 01:14:13,615 --> 01:14:16,367 - Mrs. Lift, come back here. - Bingo bastards. 994 01:14:16,535 --> 01:14:18,411 My mother's a little overmedicated. 995 01:14:18,579 --> 01:14:22,582 Murderer! Murderer! There's a murderer on the train. 996 01:14:22,749 --> 01:14:26,169 Wake up, you nut heads! Murderer! 997 01:14:26,336 --> 01:14:28,129 Excuse me. Excuse me. 998 01:14:28,297 --> 01:14:30,798 Wake up! There's a murderer on the train! 999 01:14:31,592 --> 01:14:33,134 Mrs. Lift? 1000 01:14:34,344 --> 01:14:36,554 Aarrghhh! 1001 01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:40,725 - Mrs. Lift, be careful! - Get away from me, you murderer! 1002 01:14:42,769 --> 01:14:44,645 - No! - (Momma yells) 1003 01:14:48,525 --> 01:14:51,611 - Mrs. Lift... - Let me go, you murderer! 1004 01:14:51,778 --> 01:14:52,945 Owen! 1005 01:14:53,614 --> 01:14:55,740 - Larry, you'll kill her! - Save me! 1006 01:14:55,908 --> 01:14:59,702 I'm not tryin' to kill her! I'm tryin' to save her, you toad! 1007 01:15:05,834 --> 01:15:07,543 Come on, Mrs. Lift! 1008 01:15:12,424 --> 01:15:15,384 Owen! Save me! 1009 01:15:18,889 --> 01:15:21,891 Aarrghhh! 1010 01:15:27,606 --> 01:15:30,900 Owen! Save me! 1011 01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:33,027 Owen! 1012 01:15:33,195 --> 01:15:37,573 - What are you doin' to my momma?! - Making a wish! What do you think?! 1013 01:15:39,076 --> 01:15:41,035 Help! 1014 01:15:41,203 --> 01:15:42,954 Oh, no! Larry! 1015 01:15:59,346 --> 01:16:01,973 Oh, you saved me, my Owen! 1016 01:16:02,140 --> 01:16:05,977 - Mrs. Lift, are you OK? - Beat it, chump! 1017 01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:09,313 - Larry! - Aarghhh! 1018 01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:15,194 Bye, Larry! 1019 01:16:21,451 --> 01:16:24,203 To tell you the truth, it was all a little bit embarrassing. 1020 01:16:24,371 --> 01:16:28,082 My earring fell over the rail. I bent ofer to retriefe it. 1021 01:16:28,250 --> 01:16:30,626 The last thing I remember, I was in the water. 1022 01:16:30,794 --> 01:16:33,838 She fell off the boat. She fell off the boat. 1023 01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:36,173 The little bastard never laid a hand on her. 1024 01:16:36,383 --> 01:16:38,467 This wonderful Adonis of the deep... 1025 01:16:38,635 --> 01:16:41,137 Oh, I love that. ''Adonis of the deep.'' 1026 01:16:41,305 --> 01:16:44,265 She's rescued by a fishing boat! The woman is priceless. 1027 01:16:44,433 --> 01:16:47,852 - You gotta love this woman. - Do you love this woman? 1028 01:16:49,313 --> 01:16:54,025 Shikamoto nursed me back to health, and we're going to be married. 1029 01:16:54,192 --> 01:16:56,819 Who asked this guy to pull her outta the water? 1030 01:16:56,987 --> 01:16:58,988 (chuckles) 1031 01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:01,991 Margaret Donner, author of the best seller ''Hot Fire,'' 1032 01:17:02,159 --> 01:17:06,203 has sold the movie rights of her ordeal at sea for $1 .5 million. 1033 01:17:06,371 --> 01:17:09,373 Will wonders nefer cease! Back to you, Stan. 1034 01:17:11,168 --> 01:17:14,003 She's a genius. She's getting $1 .5 million 1035 01:17:14,171 --> 01:17:15,630 and I'm getting glucose four times a day. 1036 01:17:15,797 --> 01:17:18,424 I'm getting something down the hall. 1037 01:17:18,592 --> 01:17:22,219 - What? - Anything. I can't take this any more. 1038 01:17:22,387 --> 01:17:26,140 Every ten minutes, it's ''Margaret this'' and ''Margaret that''. 1039 01:17:26,308 --> 01:17:28,351 I'm sorry. I just can't help it. 1040 01:17:28,518 --> 01:17:31,812 Hate's no good. I'm not living here with you in hate. 1041 01:17:32,606 --> 01:17:36,734 Get rid of it all together, Larry, or I'm leaving you. 1042 01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:17,024 Oh! 1043 01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:21,404 Oh, Larry! 1044 01:18:33,625 --> 01:18:35,292 Argh! 1045 01:18:35,460 --> 01:18:37,545 (static on TV) 1046 01:18:47,305 --> 01:18:50,558 (gentle snoring) 1047 01:19:05,866 --> 01:19:07,867 His name was Owen... 1048 01:19:08,034 --> 01:19:11,162 ...and he wanted me to kill his mother. 1049 01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,956 When I asked him why, 1050 01:19:14,124 --> 01:19:17,251 he said because he didn't like her. 1051 01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:20,463 When I asked him why me, 1052 01:19:21,131 --> 01:19:24,258 he said it was my idea. 1053 01:19:28,638 --> 01:19:31,432 I was teaching college... 1054 01:19:51,870 --> 01:19:53,954 (continues typing) 1055 01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:06,550 (rings) 1056 01:20:07,844 --> 01:20:10,387 - Hello. - Aloha. 1057 01:20:10,555 --> 01:20:12,973 - Owen! How are ya! - I'm fine. 1058 01:20:13,141 --> 01:20:16,560 - Where are you? - In Topanga Canyon. I just killed Beth. 1059 01:20:16,728 --> 01:20:18,729 - What? - Nah, I'm kiddin'. 1060 01:20:18,897 --> 01:20:22,566 - Look out your window. - You little couch potato! 1061 01:20:23,777 --> 01:20:26,779 - Hi, Owen! - Hi, Larry. 1062 01:20:27,280 --> 01:20:29,657 - Owen, come on up. - OK. 1063 01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:34,036 - I missed you. - I missed you, too. It's been a year. 1064 01:20:34,204 --> 01:20:37,039 - Wow. You look terrific. - Thank you. So do you. 1065 01:20:37,207 --> 01:20:39,750 - Well, thanks. How's Momma? - Dead. 1066 01:20:39,918 --> 01:20:42,753 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Mm, well... 1067 01:20:42,921 --> 01:20:44,588 Did you, um... 1068 01:20:44,756 --> 01:20:46,215 No! 1069 01:20:46,383 --> 01:20:48,968 No. Natural causes. 1070 01:20:49,135 --> 01:20:52,012 - That's good. - Yeah, well. 1071 01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:53,430 I see you're writing. 1072 01:20:53,598 --> 01:20:55,975 I started the day I got outta the hospital. 1073 01:20:56,142 --> 01:21:00,396 And I haven't stopped, Owen. I'm half a paragraph away from finishing my book! 1074 01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:02,940 - That's great! - Yeah, it's really somethin'. 1075 01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:05,526 Well, you know what they say. 1076 01:21:05,694 --> 01:21:08,946 (both) A writer writes... always. 1077 01:21:09,573 --> 01:21:11,448 Well, look. I won't keep you from it. 1078 01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:14,910 - I just came by to say hello and... - You just got here! 1079 01:21:15,078 --> 01:21:17,997 Actually, I gotta catch a plane. I'm goin' to New York because... 1080 01:21:18,164 --> 01:21:20,040 - I wrote a book. - What? 1081 01:21:20,208 --> 01:21:22,835 It's gonna be on the stands in two days. 1082 01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:26,088 You wrote a book? And it's gonna be published? 1083 01:21:26,256 --> 01:21:28,799 - Yeah. - Owen, that's unbelievable! 1084 01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:31,969 It's called Momma and Owen and Owen's Friend Larry, 1085 01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:36,724 and it's all about you and me and Momma and our experiences together. 1086 01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:40,060 What's your book about? 1087 01:21:42,772 --> 01:21:46,275 You wrote a book called Momma and Owen and Owen's Friend Larry? 1088 01:21:46,443 --> 01:21:47,818 Yeah. 1089 01:21:49,362 --> 01:21:53,240 - It's all about our... - (both) ..experiences together. 1090 01:21:55,452 --> 01:21:57,912 - Slut! You slut! - Are you angry with me? 1091 01:21:58,079 --> 01:22:00,831 - I don't like you, Owen! - You want me to leave? 1092 01:22:00,999 --> 01:22:02,416 No, I want you dead and in hell! 1093 01:22:04,085 --> 01:22:05,711 (Owen gags) 1094 01:22:05,879 --> 01:22:09,173 - I can't breathe! - Because I'm choking you, you moron! 1095 01:22:09,341 --> 01:22:10,883 Here! 1096 01:22:11,051 --> 01:22:12,968 Here. I want you to have this. 1097 01:22:13,136 --> 01:22:15,012 - What is this? - That's my book. 1098 01:22:20,101 --> 01:22:21,936 What is this? You wrote a pop-up book? 1099 01:22:22,103 --> 01:22:23,520 Yeah. Yeah. 1100 01:22:23,688 --> 01:22:26,899 See? Here's where we meet in class. Pull that tab. 1101 01:22:27,943 --> 01:22:31,862 See? And... And this is you and me and Beth on the choo-choo. 1102 01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:33,364 Toot, toot! 1103 01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:38,702 And here's where you meet Momma. See her cane? 1104 01:22:39,329 --> 01:22:40,412 (mimics Momma) ''Bath!'' 1105 01:22:41,331 --> 01:22:45,501 - And these are my coins. See my coins? - It's your coin collection! 1106 01:22:45,669 --> 01:22:48,504 And here's... See, instead of you chuckin' her off a train, 1107 01:22:48,672 --> 01:22:50,089 we go on a picnic together. 1108 01:22:50,256 --> 01:22:51,882 What do we do? Devil-egg her to death? 1109 01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:54,051 Oh, no. There's no death. 1110 01:22:54,219 --> 01:22:56,929 - There's no death? - No, this is a kids' book. 1111 01:22:57,097 --> 01:22:59,014 - You wrote a pop-up book! - Yeah. 1112 01:22:59,182 --> 01:23:01,225 This is the cutest thing I've ever seen! 1113 01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:03,686 Yeah, and here's the best part. 1114 01:23:03,853 --> 01:23:08,315 We all go on vacation in Hawaii. You... and me... and Beth. 1115 01:23:09,734 --> 01:23:12,736 (Beth) ''Hate makes you impotent, love makes you crazy.'' 1116 01:23:12,904 --> 01:23:15,406 ''Somewhere in between you can survive.'' 1117 01:23:16,116 --> 01:23:18,534 - Gets better every time I read it. - Thank you. 1118 01:23:18,702 --> 01:23:22,246 - Except for the last line. - I beg your goddamn pardon? 1119 01:23:22,414 --> 01:23:24,915 Hate makes you impotent, love makes you crazy. 1120 01:23:25,083 --> 01:23:26,834 In the middle you can survive? 1121 01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:29,420 - Yeah! - It's cryptic! 1122 01:23:29,587 --> 01:23:31,922 - Cryptic, he says. - That's right. Cryptic. 1123 01:23:32,090 --> 01:23:33,007 Cryptic. 1124 01:23:33,174 --> 01:23:37,261 Watch this, Beth. Have you ever seen a weeble snorkel? Look at him. 1125 01:23:37,429 --> 01:23:40,431 You know, actually, I find it a little confusing. 1126 01:23:40,598 --> 01:23:43,517 - Are you kidding me?! - Just that last line. 1127 01:23:43,685 --> 01:23:45,561 - Just the last line! - Yeah. 1128 01:23:45,729 --> 01:23:48,689 This is great. So you and Sancho Panza agree on this? 1129 01:23:48,857 --> 01:23:53,193 You're taking criticism from somebody who had his book signing at Toys 'R' Us! 1130 01:23:53,361 --> 01:23:54,820 I don't believe this. 1131 01:23:56,322 --> 01:23:59,366 - You're really agreeing with him? - He's got a point. 1132 01:23:59,534 --> 01:24:01,660 - He's got a point?! - Yeah! 1133 01:24:01,828 --> 01:24:05,622 I'm a Book-of-the-Month Club alternate, on the best-seller list. 1134 01:24:05,790 --> 01:24:09,376 With his book, you get a free balloon! I don't understand it. 1135 01:24:09,544 --> 01:24:13,797 - (Beth) He's entitled to his opinion. - I know he's entitled to his opinion. 1136 01:24:13,965 --> 01:24:16,383 But look at him. He's a buoy with hair. 1137 01:24:18,386 --> 01:24:22,765 Keep going a little further, Owen. Maybe somebody'll harpoon you. 1138 01:24:23,266 --> 01:24:25,350 (''Shikisha'' by Sipho Mabuse) 1139 01:24:27,437 --> 01:24:29,480 ♪ People, get ready 1140 01:24:31,274 --> 01:24:33,358 ♪ Wherever you are 1141 01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:38,906 ♪ People, get ready 1142 01:24:39,741 --> 01:24:42,367 ♪ No matter how far 1143 01:25:01,137 --> 01:25:03,430 ♪ Everywhere in the village 1144 01:25:05,225 --> 01:25:08,143 ♪ People are dancing in the streets 1145 01:25:09,020 --> 01:25:11,772 ♪ It's the beginning of the new life 1146 01:25:13,108 --> 01:25:16,235 ♪ You can turn it up on your radio 1147 01:25:17,654 --> 01:25:22,825 ♪ Shikisha 1148 01:25:22,992 --> 01:25:25,077 ♪ Shikisha, wah, Shikisha 1149 01:25:26,037 --> 01:25:31,250 ♪ Shikisha 1150 01:25:31,417 --> 01:25:33,502 ♪ Shikisha, wah, Shikisha 1151 01:25:34,838 --> 01:25:37,631 ♪ People are dancing in the streets 1152 01:25:39,050 --> 01:25:41,135 ♪ Right across the Limpopo 1153 01:25:42,720 --> 01:25:45,764 ♪ It's the beginning of the new age 1154 01:25:47,183 --> 01:25:50,018 ♪ So turn it up on your radio 1155 01:25:51,646 --> 01:25:53,438 ♪ Stomp your feet to the beat 1156 01:25:53,606 --> 01:25:55,649 ♪ Feel the heat 1157 01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:57,609 ♪ Stomp your feet to the beat 1158 01:25:57,777 --> 01:25:59,778 ♪ Feel the heat 1159 01:25:59,946 --> 01:26:01,905 ♪ Stomp your feet to the beat 1160 01:26:02,073 --> 01:26:04,074 ♪ Feel the heat 1161 01:26:04,242 --> 01:26:06,160 ♪ Stomp your feet to the beat 1162 01:26:06,327 --> 01:26:07,870 ♪ Feel the heat 1163 01:26:08,037 --> 01:26:10,164 ♪ Wah, Shikisha 1164 01:26:10,331 --> 01:26:13,083 ♪ Shikisha! 1165 01:26:29,601 --> 01:26:44,323 ♪ Stomp your feet