Oh!
Aah!
Wildfire, you either walk into that other corral,
or I'm gonna shoot ya and drag your carcass in there.
Come on, Wildfire. Come on, boy.
Let's go meet Susie now. You'll like her.
You two gotta get together.
Gotcha! Whoa, whoa!
Whoa, boy, whoa! Whoa!
Damn it.
You and Susie are gonna make some little birds,
or I'm gonna take some barbecue sauce to ya!
Earl Basset, right?
I told you that's the other one.
Señor Basset.
This is beautiful county, but very isolated.
I had great difficulty finding you, but I'm glad I did.
You see, we have had to close down one of Mexico's biggest oil fields.
Several workers have been killed.
Ah, we have now determined that...
the men were killed by...
certain large underground animals.
Graboids.
Ah! I told you that's what they named 'em. Excuse me.
You mean... there's more of them?
Yes. The company is facing very expensive delays.
But more importantly, there are many isolated people who live in the region.
Many lives are in danger.
We need someone, an expert, to eliminate these creatures.
- You want somebody to go graboid hunting? - Sí.
Ah, señor, please, please!
We've already spoken to your partner, Señor McKee.
H-He is unwilling to help us.
Sure, Val married a good woman. Why would he want to die?
Of course, we are willing to pay. They're willing to pay!
'Kay.
$50,000.
Go... away.
No, no, no. He wants to pay you $50,000 for each graboid.
Look.
No way. Not for any amount of money.
But for you, getting those worms would be a piece of cake.
Who are you? And why are you so dumb?
Oh, Grady. Grady.
Grady Hoover. It's an honour to meet you, Mr. Basset, sir.
I'm probably your biggest fan.
That Reebok commercial with you guys runnin' through the desert-- so very cool.
- You like that, huh? - Oh, yeah.
Listen, could I come in? I mean,just for a second.
Great.
Thanks.
Earl Basset. ohh!
Yep. I've read every one of these.
I got two copies of this one. I keep one wrapped in plastic.
Oh, my God, you got your own one of these!
Oh, I bet you made a fortune off this. Quarter, quarter, quarter, quarter.
Well, somebody did. It sure wasn't me.
Well, you musta got a percentage.
I shoulda got a lawyer.
Wow. That sucks.
Did he really say $50,000?
Stack of Bibles.
Forget it.
You boys don't know how mean these things are.
Well, okay-- okay, but-- That was my big chance.
Yeah, but M-Mr Basset-- You only get one of those in life, and I blew it...
on god-damn Big Bird and his scrawny girlfriend!
Yeah, but 50,000.
That's what she's doin' there.
Who?
Ooh. '' Miss October, 1979?
Yeah, she's there to remind me not to keep chasin' after things I'm never gonna get.
But why wouldn't you get this?
Earl-- Mr Basset, you're the expert. You guys kicked ass with those things.
And this time, you'll be a step ahead of them.
The Mexican army is willin' to give you whatever you want.
Dynamite. Shh, whoo, wa-bam! 50 Gs!
Maybe this is your big second chance.
Señor Ortega, you've got a deal.
Bravo, bravo! And I'm goin' with him.
Ah, muy bien, muy bien! Um, if you'll excuse me?
What? Why do you think I drove all this way?
When he said he was looking for the Earl Basset,
I knew Opportunity was knockin', and I was home.
I don't even know you.
I drive a taxi; I live in a crappy apartment; I watch too much TV; etcetera.
Look, you're going to need a partner. How many people would want to do this?
I'll do anything you want: carry luggage, make coffee,
light fuses.
Maybe you will come in handy.
Ha! When they're eating you, it'll give me a chance to get away.
Uh-oh.
Who gets the last soda? One, two--
What? Scissors, rock, paper.
One, two, three! What's this?
Scissors cuts paper. I win.
Buenos días, señores.
Ustedes dos son los americanos cazadores de monstruos? Um--
Um-- Quien es-- uh--
No, no, no, no. ''Dónde está...'' Señor Ortega?
Ortega? Oh, Ortega, venga acá. Están aquí.
Welcome. Welcome, gentlemen. You made good time.
The sooner we get here, the sooner we can leave.
- This is Pedro, the company's chief engineer. - Mucho gusto.
Uh, buenos días. Y su nuevo compañero, el Sr. Hoover.
Mucho gusto. Buena suerte y que los monstruos no los coman a ustedes.
Pedro.
Um, I have all your equipment over here.
Oh, by the way, I have some good news.
We offer you double the price if you are able to capture one of the animals alive.
Double? Alive? Have you ever seen one of these things?
It is only a suggestion-- if it was possible to capture one of them.
No, you never know. Earl, you never know. Yes, I do.
Never should have come down here.
The army has sent everything you requested.
You have asked for some...
unusual things.
Earl, please check this out.
Look, this isn't some kind of party.
I know that.
I just think we should show a little enthusiasm here.
Let me introduce you to Kate Riley. Hi.
She's the geologist for the oil company. And these are the men--
I know, I know. The monster hunters. I saw you on Good Morning, America...
or, uh, one of those.
Yeah, this is, uh, the Earl Basset, the one and only.
Uh, that's right. Nice to meet ya.
- Really nice to meet you. - I'm Grady Hoover, the new guy.
Nice... hat. Thanks.
I hope to hear good news soon.
Miss Riley will stay in contact with me. Let us know anything else you need.
And, uh...
well, best of luck to you, huh?
Vaya con Dios.
So this is the place. I'll show you around. You thirsty or anything?
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.
Anyway, we've been pretty nervous down here.
Glad you guys were willin' to come all this way.
It sure is in the middle of nowhere.
Well, of course. Stuff like this only happens in the middle of nowhere.
- Hey,Julio. - Hey, Kate.
So? It's all done. They're all working.
Yes, yes! Guys, this is Julio. He's been setting up the seismographs. Earl, Grady.
Yes, I've seen you in the magazines.
Actually, I'm not the original guy.
You know, you musta made a lot of money, huh?
The royalties on that video game alone! Ooh.
Julio, we should be able to get an accurate count now, right?
Yes, yes. I have a friend who invested in that company.
Hey.
Hi. Come on in.
So, uh, we were gonna look over some maps?
Right. Um, coffee?
Yeah, black.
How were those burritos, anyway?
Um, good. Good.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Pretty bad, I know. But with Cook gone, that's best we've got.
So, um... how many of you are still workin' out here?
Only the three of us. They had to shut the whole operation down.
Six people got killed--
people I knew.
Hmm. Well, uh, how come you stayed on? Well--
You're not scared? Shit, yeah, I'm scared.
But... I'm also fascinated.
It's, uh--
With me, ''fascinated '' usually wins.
Maps.
I'll get these cores out of the way. Come on, baby.
So, uh, have the graboids come near the refiney yet?
No, they've left us alone. They stay about 20 miles north.
That's where the workers were killed.
Who named them graboids, anyway?
A... friend of ours, Walter Chang.
He named them, then they ate him.
Hey, guys, look what I made.
Just, you know, drag it behind the truck.
Make, you know, make more noise.
You see, uh, graboids hunt by sound.
I'll probably just go hook that to the back of the truck.
''Moonstros.'' Ah, sí.
Mr Hoover, come here please.
I have the monitor working.
Okay.
We've set up radio seismographs all over,
so the monitor will show you where the graboids are.
Cool.
You know, this is none of my business,
I guess, but you guys are going out there alone?
You don't want to take with you the whole army of Mexico?
Let me explain,Julio.
Graboids, they got no eyes. They hunt by sound.
You make a noise; they're gonna come after you.
If we get a bunch of people runnin' around--
Graboids gonna spread out all over the place.
No, we want 'em all to come to us.
So you guys are what? You guys are the bait?
That's the plan.
Okay, so, uh--
That's us. That's our truck.
Seems like everything's workin' okay.
Well, sure it is, Earl. This is a high-tech, professional operation here.
Hey, we got a good plan goin'. Fifty thousand apiece, baby.
Ho! You know, me, I'm gonna get mine all at once,
just stacked!
Well, if I make any money this time, I'll invest it... conservatively.
Hey, you shaved.
What? No, I just... I just noticed you... you know, shaved.
So what? A man can shave, can't he?
No, you're right. She's a babe.
here's where they're supposed to be.
Man, look at that county, huh?
Yeah. Not a lot of rocks and boulders out there.
Not much to climb on if we don't want to get slurped.
There's mountains around. You said they can't get through mountains.
I said they can't go through rock.
These hills are alluvial.
Oh, ''alluvial.''
Wait a minute, that's the little dinglebery in the back of your throat, right?
You want to hunt graboids; you better know geology.
Here, you drive. I'm keepin' my eye on this... seismo-jigger.
Oh, good call.
No offense, Earl, but you're nervous as a chihuahua.
I'm not nervous. I'm alert.
Whatever.
Those worms have to be deaf if they don't hear us.
Hey, take it easy, huh?
Jesus, Grady. We got one !
- It's spotted us! It's comin' right toward us!
- Well, that's the idea.
Doesn't mean I have to like it. Now stop. Stop already!
Okay, time for the secret weapon.
Careful with that detonator. Set it like I showed you.
- How dumb do you think I am? - Catch me later on that one.
- He's comin' in. I think he's followin' it.
Of course he is.
I can't see it, Earl. Earl, I can't see it!
Left. Left. Left?
- Okay, okay. - Wait. Wait, there.
He did it. He took it. O-Okay. Hit it! Get him!
Oh, shit. Earl, what are you doin'? Hit it, hit it!
Hit it! Hit it, Earl!
Whoo-hoo-hoo! 50 Gs, baby, 50 Gs?
Oh, shit!
Told ya.
I forgot.
- Yeah! - Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Man, this stuff really stinks.
Yeah, don't forget to get that antenna too.
You left the radio on the ground?
Sorry, I forgot.
Is that a coyote?
Yep.
Man, he better keep quiet.
Yep.
He took it. Hey, it's my turn.
Oh, c-come on, Earl. Let me get one more.
Shit.
Rock breaks scissors. I win.
It does?
I told you one stick would be enough.
You're right.
That makes $300,000.
Apiece.
I'm feelin' light-headed, Earl.
And whatcha gonna do with all your money?
Invest it. Well, yeah, of course, invest it, but--
Even at five percent, I'll be doin' pretty good.
five percent? You're talkin', um, mutual funds or C.D.s or somethin', huh?
That's right. That's small, Earl. You're thinkin' small.
See, I'm thinkin' big.
I'm thinkin' themep_rk.
Now, now. ''Grady Hoover's World of Natural Wonders.''
Whoa! Or, you know, maybe somethin' simple,
like ''Monster World,'' or ''Monsterland''...
or ''Worm World.''
How 'bout ''Looney World''? Seems to fit. Get off the ground!
It's vision, Earl.
Vision is what separates the average--
I know that song.
Jesus! Get on the ground, Grady? Get off the ground?
Whoa!
Jesus, man, those things are huge!
Shh! Be quiet! Did you see that mouth?
Oh, no.
It snagged the chain.
Can it do that?
It can't be that strong.
Son of a bitch!
- Hit the brakes! - I am! I did!
It doesn't work!
Earl! What do I do?
- I don't know. Do anything! - Ooh!
- Cliff! - Oh, no.
He stopped. He stopped.
Oh, shit.
Oh, come on.
Rock!
Rock? He's going under it!
Turn! Turn the wheel!
- Turn! - I'm tying; I'm tying!
Oh, God, oh, God!
Yee-ha!
All right.
You all right?
Wow, chain broke right off.
Jesus, we're lucky.
Well, truck seems to be all right.
Earl, that's gonna be the first ride in my theme park.
Doesn't anything ever get you down?
Well, I'm blessed with a sunny disposition.
Most people seem to like it.
Oh, yeah? What does this do for your disposition?
I think we're gonna need some help.
Help? Who'd be crazy enough to help us with this mess?
The big guns pounded enemy positions for 72 straight hours.
It was the deadliest bombardment of the siege.
Yeah?
Hey, Burt, it's Earl. How ya doin'?
Listen, um,
if this sounds kinda funny, it's 'cause I'm on a radio phone.
It's the only way we can call out of this place.
Earl? Oh... Earl. Haven't seen you in a while.
Well, I haven't seen you. Guess you've been layin' kinda low, huh?
Layin' low? No. Negative.
I've been real busy-- lots of projects.
So, uh, how you and Heather doing?
Well, she, uh-- She's still visiting her sister.
Yeah?
You know, she actually...
blames our problems on the collapse of the Soviet Union?
Well, you did take that kinda hard, Burt.
Said I was hard to live with. Said I couldn't handle life without the threat of war.
What kind of thing is that to say to a man? Well, I don't know, Burt--
Anyway, it takes more than that to get me down.
I been running around so much, it's lucky you caught me home.
Well, in that case, I don't know if you'd be interested in this.
I'm down in Mexico, see, and I find myself in a sort of situation.
What kind of situation?
A graboid kind of situation.
Hey, you keepin' an eye on that monitor?
Uh, yeah, I'm watchin' it. They're just stayin' up north.
- Oh, my God! - What?
Sorry. Come here. Come here. Look at this.
I've been staring at this fossil for over a month, and I just realized what it is.
Hey, Earl, that looks like one of those spikes on their sides.
Okay, it resembles one.
I really think it is a fossil fragment of a graboid.
It's gonna take months to prove--
No, this is important, isn't it?
Science has never determined their origin.
I read that in People.
And that's true. But that's not the only thing. You guys, this is Precambrian rock.
Precambrian.
Precambrian. That means that this is the oldest life form on the planet.
I mean other than one-celled things. But look at that.
- Wait a minute. Older than dinosaurs? - Way.
So they're from earth, right? Damn. Yeah.
I always thought they were from outer space.
Doesn't look like it.
¡Mira, mira! ¡El monstruo más grande... viene acá!
Look! Look at the seismograph! Look!
El monstruo viene? Es grande?
It ain't no graboid.
It's somethin' more dangerous.
Monster H.Q., I presume.
Hey, Burt, good to see you. Earl, good to see you.
Uh, this is Kate, uh, Pedro, Hey, what's up?
Julio, and, uh-- The pleasure is mine.
Grady, Grady Hoover. Yeah, I read all about you, Mr-- Mr Gummer.
- Yeah, it's a real-- real honour. - Yes.
Man, you think you got a big enough truck here? He the new guy?
So, did you get me one of those seismo-monitors?
Hey, no problem. What you got in this thing?
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Don't touch. Don't touch. Easy.
Mexican army gave me this truck...
and a few little items on my wish list.
Ho!
It's, uh, a bit much, don't you think?
Maybe I'm wrong.
Hope I'm right.
Makes my home-made stuff look like cherry bombs.
Thermite, C-4, TNT, high-explosive... H.E.
ls there such thing as ''low-explosive''?
Well, y-yes, son, there is.
I mean, the federales offer you anything you want, and you guys take one case of dynamite?
What the hell is this thing for?
That, uh, might end up in my collection.
Hey, got some, uh, new equipment for you, gentlemen.
Your backup weapons. Can you handle a firearm?
I'll check him out.
Shotguns?
We're not huntin' rabbits down here, Burt.
Not shotguns. Double rifles. Elephant guns.
Wesley-Richards 480, 375 H&H Mag.
Knockdown power up the yin-yang. Treat them well.
But hold 'em good 'n tight to your shoulder, or they'll break your collarbone.
So where's, uh, Mrs Gummer? She didn't want to come?
Uh, why don't you get this, uh, stum in our truck?
Sure, no problem.
Look, man, I... really want to thank you for comin' down.
We're in pretty deep here.
Oh, forget it, Earl.
To tell you the truth, if I didn't get out of that house, I was gonna go crazy.
Heather's not comin' back.
No?
She called me and told me to send her the H.K.-91 .
Whew. Ouch.
Yep.
So.
Anyway, it'll be good to get into somethin' constructive.
Oh, my. What is this?
Grizzly single-shot 50-calibre B.M.G....
based on a World War I antitank cartridge.
- Antitank? - Had the bullets custom cast from solid bronze.
Man, Burt, you put a whole new shine on the word ''overkill.''
When you need it and don't have it, you sing a different tune.
Well, this is it, Burt. Okay.
I'll patrol east. You take the west.
You know, those are terrible for you.
You need complex carbohydrates. Lower those L.D.L.s.
I gave up smoking, Burt. What more do you want?
- Have an M.R.E. - A what?
Meals Ready to Eat.
Freeze-dried, foil sealed.
It's got to be foil. Plastic is not an oxygen barrier.
Includes entrée, cracker pack, cheese spread,
mixed fruit, beverage powder, spoon, coffee,
cream substitute, candy, salt, matches, toilet tissue.
Shelf life of ten years.
Here, take a few.
Buy 'em all the time. Saves trips to the supermarket.
Oh, no, Burt.
We don't want to use up all your food. No problem.
Brought 1 20 pounds of it.
Good luck, comp_dres.
Oh, man, this stum tastes like toilet paper.
Earl, that is the toilet paper.
14 May.
1500 hours.
I have a confirmed graboid reading.
I'm now employing the technique pioneered by Earl Basset...
to make my first kill.
Subject has taken the bait.
Preparing to fire.
Yes!
Memo:
four pounds of C-4 may be a little...
excessive.
Yo, Grady and Earl. I got one. Over.
Yeah, we know, Burt. We heard it clear over here.
Damnedest thing. It had a big chain hangin' out of its mouth.
Damn it. Burt, you skunk, that one was ours.
Oh, yeah, son? I didn't see your name on it. Over and out.
Why did we invite him, anyway?
Hey, pay attention.
Whoa. We got one.
Wait a minute.
It's movin' away from us.
It must be somethin' else.
Like what, a giant prairie dog?
Well, shit, I don't know, Earl. It's movin' away from us.
Should we follow it?
What the hell is the matter with him?
We're makin' plenty of noise.
I don't like it, Grady. They're gettin' smarter. That's what they do.
They got some kinda plan goin' here.
I tell ya, these boys are up to somethin' new.
They're diggin' a trap for us, or...
playin' possum,
or somethin'.
Holy Mother!
Oh, man, oh, man!
Shit! Shit, how could I do that?
I gotta get to Burt's gun!
Whoa.
- Where is he? Should be all over us. - I don't know.
- What is that? Can they do that? - shh.
That's a new one on me.
Jesus, Grady, what are you doin'? Get off the ground!
I know, I know. I got an idea. Trust me.
Damn it, Grady, come on back.
He's still there.
What the hell's it doing?
I have no idea.
Something's wrong with him.
Must be sick.
Probably ate somebody that didn't agree with it.
Jesus, Grady!
It's okay, Earl.
He's not goin' anywhere.
Hey!
We just caught ourselves a live one.
That's $100,000 Earl.
Oh, yes!
Oh, yeah? What're you gonna do, cary him back?
We just wrecked the truck.
Oh, yeah.
Hello, this is Earl to anybody.
Anybody there?
Hey, Earl, it's Kate. How're you guys doin'? Well, uh--
we kinda wrecked our truck a little bit. What?
A-Are you okay?
We're fine. We're gonna need somebody to come fetch us.
Let me talk to her. Would you tell Pedro to bring that big truck of his out here?
It's got a crane on it, doesn't it? Yeah.
It's going to take him hours.
Tell him to bring it because--
- We're gonna winch that slinky off to Monster World. - Get off the damn ground!
I'm of_, I'm off.
Jesus!
Damn it, he got himself another one.
The man never sleeps.
Guys, Burt here, doin' a little night fishing.
Got three of 'em on a cluster charge. I'd say we're about even now. Over.
Come on, Burt. This isn't a competition. Who's competing?
I'm just saying the score's tied, that's all. Over.
Well, son, no it isn't, 'cause we just caught ourselves a live one.
A live one? How in the-- That's a trade secret. Happy huntin', Burt.
I'll bet that burned his skinny ass.
God Almighty!
Something's wrong with our worm, Earl.
Well, what do you want me to do about it?
Maybe somethin's tryin' to eat it out there-- coyotes or somethin'.
They'll have plenty to eat.
Come on, Earl. We have got to protect our investment. We can't just sit here.
Jesus, listen to it!
Poor thing. I mean, don't you just feel a little sorry for him?
No.
That's cold, Earl.
Where's that Pedro and that damn truck?
Something ate it!
ln two minutes?
Well, somethin' happened to it, 'cause there is nothin' left inside.
Something came out of it. What do you mean, something came out of it?
It did that thing that things do when they change, you know--
there's a word for it, uh--
It turned into something else like a caterpillar does.
Only I bet that whatever came out wasn't no sweet little butterfly.
Damn worms never cut you any slack.
I said you all ought to head out to Rioverde.
Clear out 'til we know what's going on. Over.
Kate, did you get any of that? Over.
Shit! Now, what?
The radio's out. How could that be? I was just talking to her.
Man! You know what that is, don't you?
Yeah. Another one's doing it.
There! There's Pedro!
'Bout damn time.
- He stopped. - He stopped?
Maybe he's taking a leak?
That's a long leak.
Hey, Pedro! Pedro!
Well
maybe we should go over and see what's wrong.
Go over? You mean, walk a mile across open county?
I'm not going six feet from that seismo.
Come on. There's no graboids anywhere near us right now.
Now, I say we go while the going's good.
You know, you could cary some of this stuff.
I got what I want.
Well, I can't say this looks good.
Pedro?
Hey, Pedro!
Man!
This brings back memories.
Jesus! Looks like somebody took a can opener to the thing.
Oh, man! Look at that engine.
It's torn to pieces.
Pedro!
Damn it! Where are you?
Hey! There he is!
Pedro?
Oh, God!
Whoa! It's a whole new ball game.
A whole new goddam ball game.
Well-- Well, you know what to do, right?
Right? I don't know shit!
Okay? Okay?
We can hike over to that radio tower.
Th-Th-They've gotta have a radio that's working. We can, uh-- We can call direct.
1 4 May. 1 900 hours.
I've been out of radio contact for several hours,
unable to reach Grady and Earl or anybody at H.Q.
The situation dictates that I return to base.
A further mystery:
I've not had a single seismic reading in hours,
yet I tracked one of the sightless brutes right into this valley.
Where the hell did he go?
They do get smarter.
ls it possible he learned...
to avoid the unique sound of my deuce-and-half's mil-spec engine?
I do not have the answer at this time.
Oh, no, no, no. Don't tell me that's the radio stuff.
I can't believe this.
Oh, man! Can't we ever get a goddam break?
If we get outta here alive, I'll count that as a break.
I mean, there wasn't even any people here to eat.
They're doing this on purpose, man.
They're cuttin' us off on purpose!
shh! shh! Quiet! Quiet!
I told you they get smarter.
Hey, look.
Oh, yes! Yes!
It's not gonna have a key.
So I'll hot-wire the damn thing. I like that.
Grady! Grady!
What is that? I don't know, but it's comin' this way.
Jesus? How big is this thing?
What the hell is that?
ls that it?
Sure ain't no damn ostrich.
How does a 30-foot worm turn into that little thing? Shh! Might hear us.
Shit! It heard us.
Wait.
We got it!
Ugly little toad.
No eyes.
Wow! Just like the big ones.
Earl, man. We oughta take this one with us.
You crazy? What?
Sounds like a bunch of them!
Come on, man t Let's go t Let's go t
- I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'! - Let's 'go! '
Pedro. Can you hear me?
Earl, come on! Talk to me.
Burt? Anybody?
God! What the hell is going on?
Oh, man! Hey!
Julio, man, you scared me half to death! Sorry.
Oh, shit. You know the radios-- They're out?
I know. That's what I've been doin' here.
I think the repeater towers are down.
How can that be? I don't know.
Something coming our way?
No! The creatures have completely disappeared off the screen. It's weird.
With the radios all out, shouldn't everybody come back?
Yeah, everybody should have been here a long time ago.
I don't like this. This is not good.
Okay, stay here with the seismos.
I'm going to go look for them right now.
Okay, but--
Oh, my God!
Oh, no!
No! No!
Get him!
Bastards?
Kate! What are they?
We don't know. The worms change somehow.
Now we've got these things. Julio! Julio! They-- They--
- I know. I know. - We got them, though. We just blew 'em away?
Pedro! Did Pedro find you?
No. They jumped his truck. He's dead too.
Have you seen Burt? Did he get back?
No. I tried to call him. I tried you. The radio-- Uh, excuse me.
But I think we should get goin'.
You okay? Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Oh, no! - Not again!
They wrecked our car, Pedro's truck, the radio tower. How can they be so smart?
Let's get our butts inside.
What the hell we gonna do?
Get these windows shut! It's like they got the whole thing planned.
Grady! Grady! Come on! All right. How many do you think there are?
All right, I remember. I remember.
There was three big sacks, or bags, in that one we saw split open.
Huh, Earl? Can't be more than three of those things in each worm.
Yeah, I-- I-- That's right, I guess.
Kate, how many big worms were left out there?
You killed all but eight graboids. I was watching.
So if all eight of them changed, that would make, uh--
Twenty-four! Twenty-four of those things left!
How many have you killed? Well, let's see--
We, uh-- We killed one on the radio tower and-- and one out there...
and, um, on top of the car.
That's it? Well, I'm sorry.
No. It's just that I mean--
Oh, man! Now what?
Thank God, it's Burt.
Yes! They didn't get him.
I think they did get him.
Burt t
Burt, you okay?
Burt?
I feel I was denied...
critical, need-to-know information.
Well, we're sorry, Burt.
They just changed all of a sudden, man.
We would have warned you, but they knocked out the radio tower.
Come on, Burt! What happened?
Well, when the radios went out,
I decided to return to the refiney.
But en route, I find I'm in an ambush situation.
Must have been a couple of dozen of these things!
I dropped the first wave with semiauto fire, but they just kept coming.
Most were in front of the truck, so I popped it in six-wheel and ran 'em down.
The ones that got on board, I handled with a combination...
of small arms fire and hand-to-hand techniques.
I am completely out of ammo.
That's never happened to me before.
Well, shit! Who cares, Burt?
Sounds like you killed 'em all, huh?
I hope not. These creatures are very important.
You know, I mean scientifically.
That fact was not lost on me.
When it was all over, I saw one of the little S.O.B.s was just stunned.
So I detained him.
Oh, man, it's drooling.
Don't let him spook ya.
That line is 1 ,000-pound test.
Go on. Haul him out of there.
Hold on to that son of a bitch!
I'll get the door.
I knew it. Infrared.
It doesn't hear us; it doesn't actually see us;
it senses the heat of our bodies.
See that? The thing that rises up must be the heat sensor.
You feel that?
Gives off a lot of heat when it screams.
That's it.
I bet that's the way they communicate.
The sound doesn't matter.
They make noise, but they signal each other with their body heat.
It only sees heat? Yes, that's not so weird.
A rattlesnake strikes at body heat.
That's why they tore up the cars-- because the engines were hot.
They thought it was food.
And the same thing with the radio tower.
That electronic gear puts off all kinds of heat.
So basically, they bite anything that's warm.
They been actin' so smart 'cause they're so stupid?
Now, that's not warm. How does he know to eat that?
Well, it tastes it with its tongue.
See how he's draggin' his tongue all over.
Touches anything he likes, uh,
he eats it.
How much can he eat? Those M.R.E.s aren't cheap, you know.
Looks like he's had enough.
You're feeding it too much! You made it sick.
Give me a break. Probably your nasty food made it sick.
Oh, good God!
Hermaphrodites.
They reproduce without having sex.
I claim the little one. Hey, it was my food!
Whenever one of them gets enough food, they just bla-a-ah, and there's another one.
Then one makes two, two makes four,
four makes eight-- It's exponential.
Well, uh, hell. That gives 'em quite an edge.
You never see this in higher animals. Ever!
It's astounding.
Don't you guys get it?
Oh, we get it. We just don't want it.
The little one's getting big already.
Uh, I think we better think about leaving.
These guys have taken a completely different evolutionary path.
They got into your damn super-food, Burt!
Go! Go!
Yeah! Yeah!
The warehouse! We gotta close the warehouse!
oh! oh!
This way! Grady! No!
No! Not that way! Grady!
Grady, damn it!
All right! All right! This isn't gonna work.
Shit!
They stopped.
They're just milling around.
Looks like they lost track of us. That's not gonna last.
We're like sittin' ducks here!
Well, it looked like a goddam building!
Why didn't you listen to me? These little snappers are blind and deaf.
We've gotta be able to beat them.
I told ya, they can't see us.
Great, now what? Now, move with me.
Move?
It's gonna work, damn it. Now move! And step, and step,
and step and step-- I don't know how you come up with this shit.
I think on my feet.
Come on! It's working.
Comin' at ya. Okay. All right.
And down.
So...
where are we going?
Are there any more cars left?
Um, uh, yeah.
One. Julio's. It's by the storage tank.
- Which way? - Left. Move left.
Okay. Ready and moving left,
and step, and step, and step,
and step and step.
Okay, it's not much further.
oh!
There's one of them out there!
Oh, shit! Did it see you?
Well, if it had, I think we'd be hearing about it by now.
How far is it?
Uh, uh, 100 yards about.
That's a heck of a shot.
Uh-huh.
Whoa! You got only one shot? Then you gotta hit it...
before it sends one of those heat signals to the others.
I know.
Cover your ears.
Oh,Jesus.
Jesus!
God! You smoked his ass.
Doin' what I can with what I got. Good.
Oh, shit, partner.
Oh, no! Pop the hood.
I got it, I got it.
Damn!
We're dead.
What?
I didn't know. How could I've known?
We're supposed to be up against graboids! I wanted maximum penetration.
- Well, you've got it. - Now what?
We can't stay here. We've got to get inside.
uh,
Cantina!
Damn!
Burt?
Uh-oh!
Burt!
Oh, no, Burt!
Burt, it's working; they can't find you. Don't move.
Good! Good idea.
This is pathetic!
Wait a minute! I've got a plan, I think!
Earl! Earl!
Yeah, I know! I know. I just need another second.
Ow! Ow! Shit! Ouch!
That's great! Uh, here. Here.
Get ready to run.
We're gonna head for those oil towers and climb.
Yes! Earl, you're a genius.
Come on! It's clear. Hurry.
You're okay. They can't climb.
Watch your shin. Oh, man!
They can't climb. Pretty slick, my man.
Slick? That was brilliant.
You really do think on your feet, don't you?
Yeah, well.
Hey, where's Burt?
Oh, over here. And don't worry, they can't even find him in there.
Oh, man. I think he's gonna be okay for now.
Oh, I'm just dandy!
So what do we do now?
Hey, Burt!
Are you sure you don't have any more bullets? Did you check all your pockets?
You know, as I lie here, I can't help but comment:
The reason I am out of nine millimetre rounds is I was not properly briefed.
And the reason for that is this mission was not properly researched.
If certain people had bothered to gather intelligence on the creatures...
before bumbling into the situation--
Knock it off, Burt! Nobody made you come.
when we should be packing full-auto, preferably belt-fed!
Shut up!
They're Precambrian life forms. How's anybody supposed to research Precambrian life?
What difference does it make now?
We're stuck on a goddam roof with a bunch of whatsits tying to eat us.
I've done this before, and I did not like it.
Okay. It's all my fault! So things didn't work out exactly the way we planned.
If I had the right tools, I'd finish the job!
Jeez! Would you just all relax?
Now, look. Nobody's heard from us since last night,
which means pretty soon they're going to be up here looking for us, right?
So all we have to do is sit and wait. Okay?
Burt?
Okay.
So I figured I wanted to learn some Spanish, and six months in Mexico would be an adventure.
So, uh--
Seeing anybody?
Not since the monsters arrived.
Well, you know, you...
spend a couple of days almost getting killed, you start, uh,
thinking about your future and--
Thinking you should date more?
Well, uh, yeah, actually.
Uh, look, uh,
I just don't meet that many women who can keep their cool...
in a situation like this.
What I mean is that, uh-- What matters to me is that a woman can handle herself.
It's much more important than what she looks like.
Thanks a lot. Aw, come on! You look great.
Enough guys have told you that. Yeah, well.
Believe it or not, I made my living as a model once upon a time.
I put myself through college.
I believe it. I was a--
I was even a Playmate once.
About gave my dad a heart attack.
What? October '74?
Shit!
Yup!
Uh, guys. Guys!
Oh, my God. Look at that.
Goddam little... heat seekers.
What do we do, Earl? You gotta stop asking me?
I don't know! What's goin' on?
What's happening?
Uh-oh.
Smart little bastards.
Whoa! Oh!
Come get me, you suckers! You hungry?
- A hundred and eighty-five pounds of lean meat. - Burt, what are you doing?
You know you want it!
Burt! Burt!
What is wrong with him? Has he got a plan?
Burt's always got a plan... usually.
Yes!
Problem solved.
You maniac!
Who-oo! Oh, Burt, you did it?
You tricked the little plug uglies!
How's it feel to be so stupid?
Who-oo!
Oh, Christ! Did they find something to eat?
- Uh, what's in there, Kate? - I don't know-- boxes, supplies.
Golosinas-- Dulce.
Hell, uh-- Dulce. Dulce.
Sweet! Golosinas-- I know this one. Snack.
Sweet snack food?
Rice flour.
I didn't know! How could I've had known?
- God! Don't they ever get tired of eating? - There'll be 100 of 'em.
- Okay, we're gonna run for it! - What?
Where? We're not gonna make it!
Look? Earl, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I got you all into this. Come on, Grady.
We ain't dead yet.
Okay! Come on!
Okay, what, what, what, what, okay?
Uh, I've got a plan! Sorta.
You're gonna squirt me with this.
- That's great! It'll make you cold. - Right. They won't see me.
Says who? No, they're right; it oughta work.
For how long? Well, we gotta try something!
- But what is the point? - If I can just get to your truck, I can grab some bombs.
- This is nuts! - Well, yeah, and--
Let me do it! It was my idea!
No, I got you all into this. It's my fault. I'm going in. Spray me!
We gotta do it before they break out. Now, blast me!
Oh,Jesus!
- Yes! - No! Rock rips through paper.
Huh! I go! Give me that shirt. I need the gloves too.
You ready? Here goes.
Man, this stuff is cold!
Okay, here goes.
Lock this door behind me. Lock it?
Yeah. I'll get the bombs and go out the other door.
All right.
Sounds like it's working.
I can't see anything. Over here.
Here!
Holy tamole! There's dozens of 'em.
Good Lord.
Wait a minute! Paperwraps rock, doesn't it?
Paper _lw__s wraps rock.
Damn!
He's startin' to melt! Earl, you're melting?
Step on it! Come on! Go, go, go!
Damn! They see him.
Uh... rope! We need rope or something.
Hang on, Earl! A hose! There's a hose down by the fire hydrant.
Here you go.
Ah! It's too short!
Did you hear me? The hose is too short.
Burt, hurry!
oh!
Heads up, Earl! Grab it! Come on!
Go! Run! Run! Go! I set a bomb.
What? It's the only thing I could think of.
Kate, what did he do? Grady? Come on!
Where the hell are the bombs? I didn't have time. I just threw one in your truck.
You what?
That's two-and-a-half tons of high explosives!
You sayin' that's not enough? God, Burt! Don't tell me it's not enough!
Not enough! Never mind. Never mind. Just run!
Faster!
No, no, no! Keep going. It's gonna be big.
Big t Is he serious?
Uh, Burt knows his bombs. How big can it be?
How long did you set it for?
I don't know; I just pushed it.
God, it's going to be big. Big!
All right, this will have to do. Get down; stay down; cover your ears. It's gonna be b _i!
- Is it gonna be today? - Grady, get your ass down!
oh!
Hey, Grady. Grady. Grady, you all right, man?
You okay?
Yeah. Thanks.
oh! Watch yourselves.
Whew!
Wow!
You know, Grady. Some people think I'm overprepared.
Paranoid.
Maybe even a little crazy.
But they never met any Precambrian life forms, did they?
Uh, look, uh-- I don't mind hangin' around down here for awhile.
Gonna have any free time?
Well, spend a couple days almost gettin' killed,
you start thinkin' about your future.
Thinkin' you should date more?
Well, yeah, actually.
Hey, Earl, I just realized they owe us for 28 worms, man.
Hey, that's right. We didn't die.
Although, we did kinda blow up their refiney.
Hey, that's just part of the job.
ln fact, we oughta charge them for all those little ones too.
Oh, yeah. We'll have enough to start our own theme park--
Grady and Earl's Monster World.
Hey, no way!
Come on, Earl. This could be like your big, third chance.