1
00:00:03,555 --> 00:00:05,504
And so I thought
I'd give
2
00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,837
investigative journalism
a whirl.
3
00:00:07,922 --> 00:00:10,586
Well, get a hot scoop,
follow some leads,
4
00:00:10,671 --> 00:00:12,265
write an expose.
5
00:00:12,350 --> 00:00:14,007
Do I... know you?
6
00:00:14,092 --> 00:00:15,801
Hayley Smith.
Remember the name.
7
00:00:15,886 --> 00:00:17,210
I'm gonna be
a famous journalist,
8
00:00:17,295 --> 00:00:19,515
really blow the lid
off something.
9
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,679
Not sure what yet.
10
00:00:20,764 --> 00:00:21,813
But, hey,
11
00:00:21,898 --> 00:00:23,211
that's what the class
is for,
12
00:00:23,296 --> 00:00:25,093
- nahwhatimeanbrah?
- Ow.
13
00:00:25,314 --> 00:00:27,343
Stomp
the presses.
14
00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:31,843
Cool butt.
Congratulations.
15
00:00:37,706 --> 00:00:40,859
JOURNALISM
IS DEAD.
16
00:00:41,335 --> 00:00:43,148
This class is mainly
gonna focus
17
00:00:43,233 --> 00:00:44,867
on picking out
the best GIFs
18
00:00:44,952 --> 00:00:46,161
for listicles.
19
00:00:46,245 --> 00:00:48,359
That's what journalism
is now.
20
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,742
Oh!
Oh, no!
21
00:00:55,029 --> 00:00:57,977
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
22
00:00:58,062 --> 00:01:01,539
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
23
00:01:01,623 --> 00:01:04,437
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
24
00:01:04,617 --> 00:01:08,367
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
25
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,246
♪ Oh, boy,
it's swell to say ♪
26
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,628
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
27
00:01:16,713 --> 00:01:17,844
Aah!
28
00:01:19,336 --> 00:01:21,697
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
29
00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,665
*AMERICAN DAD*
Season 16 Episode 11 (IMDB)
30
00:01:23,749 --> 00:01:25,467
Episode Title: "Hot Scoomp"
Aired on: June 28, 2021.
31
00:01:25,556 --> 00:01:27,837
Mmm!
Oh, my God, Franny.
32
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,045
Are you kidding me
with this watermelon?
33
00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:32,569
Does anyone love watermelon
more than us?
34
00:01:32,654 --> 00:01:34,829
Is this the best day
of our whole lives?
35
00:01:40,595 --> 00:01:43,665
- Mmm.
- You gonna say something or...?
36
00:01:43,958 --> 00:01:45,186
Watermelon?
37
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,087
I'm too depressed.
38
00:01:47,282 --> 00:01:48,290
Okay.
39
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:50,448
Mmm.
40
00:01:50,533 --> 00:01:51,915
It's just that,
I was really
41
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,657
excited
about journalism.
42
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,110
But my professor said
journalism's dead.
43
00:01:56,259 --> 00:01:57,571
W-What do you think?
44
00:01:57,789 --> 00:02:00,025
Should I continue
or just give up?
45
00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:01,298
You could continue,
46
00:02:01,383 --> 00:02:02,431
you could give up...
47
00:02:02,516 --> 00:02:04,001
Right.
T-That's what I'm asking.
48
00:02:04,132 --> 00:02:05,563
I mean, should I look for
a story?
49
00:02:05,649 --> 00:02:07,303
Or should I drop
the class?
50
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,630
Any way
you want it,
51
00:02:08,721 --> 00:02:10,413
that's the way
you need it.
52
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,079
Any way
you want it.
53
00:02:12,164 --> 00:02:13,525
You're not saying
anything.
54
00:02:13,618 --> 00:02:15,587
I-I want
your advice.
55
00:02:16,375 --> 00:02:17,649
Hello?
56
00:02:17,907 --> 00:02:20,220
Beans?
In a salad?
57
00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:21,626
Okay...
58
00:02:21,735 --> 00:02:24,040
Are you pretending
to be on the phone?
59
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:27,446
Cool.
60
00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:29,813
Well, I'm gonna go get high
in my room
61
00:02:29,898 --> 00:02:32,079
at 2:00 p.m.
on a Wednesday.
62
00:02:32,227 --> 00:02:34,046
Do you have any thoughts
on that?
63
00:02:34,135 --> 00:02:35,384
Wednesday...
64
00:02:35,469 --> 00:02:37,948
it's not spelled
how it sounds.
65
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:39,290
Ugh!
66
00:02:40,135 --> 00:02:41,227
Mmm.
67
00:02:41,445 --> 00:02:44,837
- The **** was that?
- My parenting style, baby!
68
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,754
You know
my philosophy...
69
00:02:46,838 --> 00:02:48,364
"Benevolent Neglect."
70
00:02:48,449 --> 00:02:49,907
I don't know.
71
00:02:50,031 --> 00:02:52,469
As a mother,
you can't be there all the time.
72
00:02:52,602 --> 00:02:55,103
Eventually,
you're going to let her down.
73
00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:57,540
So how do you prepare her
for that?
74
00:02:57,663 --> 00:03:00,648
By letting her down early
and often.
75
00:03:00,733 --> 00:03:02,893
So, you're saying you're not
gonna be there for her.
76
00:03:02,978 --> 00:03:06,337
Yes.
And that's for her, ya dig?
77
00:03:06,569 --> 00:03:08,610
Ow!
I dig, I dig!
78
00:03:09,326 --> 00:03:11,593
What's Mrs S's
problem?
79
00:03:11,797 --> 00:03:13,251
My babe is lost.
80
00:03:13,336 --> 00:03:15,602
Just give my babe
some guidance.
81
00:03:15,923 --> 00:03:17,626
Maybe
I'm not lost.
82
00:03:17,711 --> 00:03:20,103
And maybe
my professor is wrong.
83
00:03:20,195 --> 00:03:21,219
And maybe,
84
00:03:21,304 --> 00:03:24,462
I already know
everything about journalism.
85
00:03:24,563 --> 00:03:27,515
Been saying that about you
for years.
86
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,244
I'm just gonna look
for a story.
87
00:03:31,017 --> 00:03:32,907
That last hit
was a mistake.
88
00:03:33,031 --> 00:03:34,509
I can see that now.
89
00:03:34,594 --> 00:03:35,918
I'm too high.
90
00:03:36,086 --> 00:03:38,227
Me too,
babe!
91
00:03:41,266 --> 00:03:42,407
Maybe
my story's
92
00:03:42,492 --> 00:03:44,923
about...
clouds.
93
00:03:45,129 --> 00:03:48,618
Like, how...
where are they sometimes?
94
00:03:48,703 --> 00:03:50,368
Is this something?
95
00:03:50,579 --> 00:03:52,587
I have a worm
in my mouth.
96
00:03:53,325 --> 00:03:57,501
"Something to do
with clou-d-s."
97
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,438
Something to do
with bubbles?
98
00:04:02,781 --> 00:04:04,587
We should've brought
a car.
99
00:04:05,634 --> 00:04:07,407
Stomp the presses.
100
00:04:07,492 --> 00:04:08,924
- Butts.
- ♪ Cool, baby, know what I'm sayin'? ♪
101
00:04:09,008 --> 00:04:10,447
♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪
102
00:04:10,531 --> 00:04:12,999
- ♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪
- ♪ Show offf ♪
103
00:04:13,085 --> 00:04:15,252
♪ Show off, show off, boom ♪
104
00:04:15,337 --> 00:04:17,077
Jeff,
I have been noticing
105
00:04:17,161 --> 00:04:19,663
a lot of cool butts
in town recently.
106
00:04:19,869 --> 00:04:21,377
My reporter's instinct
is telling me
107
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,633
to follow 'em,
find their source.
108
00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:26,413
I'm gonna follow
a different lead.
109
00:04:30,546 --> 00:04:34,359
Eat me,
red spaghetti!
110
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:37,047
♪ Now let me see that
booty work, booty work ♪
111
00:04:37,132 --> 00:04:38,643
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
112
00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:41,529
♪ Left cheek, right cheek,
left cheek, right cheek ♪
113
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,547
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
114
00:04:43,632 --> 00:04:45,430
♪ Show off, boom ♪
♪ Show ... ♪
115
00:04:45,515 --> 00:04:46,912
♪ Boo-boo-booty work ♪
116
00:04:47,423 --> 00:04:48,820
HG.
117
00:04:49,048 --> 00:04:50,835
Huh.
But what does it stand for?
118
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,241
Holy grail!
119
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,429
Stomp the premsses!
I got a hot scoomp!
120
00:04:55,765 --> 00:04:57,570
But I'll have to go
undercover.
121
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:05,202
I'm just
a regular Hayley.
122
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:06,719
My hat's
in the Dumpster.
123
00:05:06,804 --> 00:05:08,538
Okay...
124
00:05:08,623 --> 00:05:10,376
Did you need to sign up
for a class?
125
00:05:10,461 --> 00:05:12,478
'Cause she's about
to start.
126
00:05:12,598 --> 00:05:14,219
- Who she?
- Holly?
127
00:05:14,304 --> 00:05:17,421
HG?
The Queen of Dance Cardio?
128
00:05:17,506 --> 00:05:19,413
- Hello?
- Hello.
129
00:05:19,514 --> 00:05:21,143
We specialize
in The Holly Method,
130
00:05:21,228 --> 00:05:23,179
the only technique proven
to make you a new you.
131
00:05:23,264 --> 00:05:24,718
The first class is free.
132
00:05:24,803 --> 00:05:27,310
We will need a credit card,
though.
133
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:29,145
The class itself
is free.
134
00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:31,786
What you get from the class
costs $500.
135
00:05:31,871 --> 00:05:33,647
That's too high
of a money!
136
00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:37,577
This is an expensive gym
where people have good butts.
137
00:05:37,692 --> 00:05:39,390
I don't think that's a story.
Damn.
138
00:05:39,474 --> 00:05:40,754
You look lost.
139
00:05:40,885 --> 00:05:42,341
Well, you look...
140
00:05:46,336 --> 00:05:48,663
...a-ma-ma-ma-mazing.
141
00:05:48,747 --> 00:05:50,445
You reek of weed.
142
00:05:50,572 --> 00:05:52,259
It's the middle
of the day.
143
00:05:52,405 --> 00:05:53,867
It's Wednesday.
144
00:05:54,057 --> 00:05:55,703
Do you have any thoughts
on that?
145
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,546
It's not spelled
how it sounds?
146
00:05:57,631 --> 00:06:00,286
You're lost.
I just said so myself.
147
00:06:00,371 --> 00:06:01,860
But I can help.
148
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,457
You need someone to tell you
what to do.
149
00:06:04,554 --> 00:06:05,636
You need me.
150
00:06:05,736 --> 00:06:06,844
Yes.
151
00:06:07,712 --> 00:06:09,267
- Yes, what?
- Yes, Mommy.
152
00:06:09,352 --> 00:06:10,599
You did it.
153
00:06:10,684 --> 00:06:12,367
You said
the right answer.
154
00:06:12,767 --> 00:06:14,367
♪ Booty work, booty work ♪
155
00:06:14,452 --> 00:06:16,023
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
156
00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:18,273
♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪
157
00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:24,001
We gotta confuse the muscles
to get results.
158
00:06:24,086 --> 00:06:25,797
When I say leg,
I mean bicep.
159
00:06:25,883 --> 00:06:26,951
Just follow me.
160
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:28,756
I am in charge of your body
now.
161
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,054
Gimme an amen.
162
00:06:30,163 --> 00:06:31,601
Amen!
163
00:06:32,764 --> 00:06:33,828
Good.
164
00:06:33,913 --> 00:06:36,352
Sip some agua,
grab some protein,
165
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,711
get those bank routing numbers
to Lindsay,
166
00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:40,262
and let's get back
out there.
167
00:06:43,686 --> 00:06:44,999
Oh, hey, Hayley.
168
00:06:45,084 --> 00:06:46,750
How's journalism class
going?
169
00:06:46,835 --> 00:06:48,789
Mom, I dropped that class
months ago.
170
00:06:48,874 --> 00:06:51,023
I am a one-class-at-a-time
kind of person.
171
00:06:51,108 --> 00:06:53,340
And right now,
it's five workout classes a day,
172
00:06:53,425 --> 00:06:54,492
seven days a week.
173
00:06:54,577 --> 00:06:56,344
But only one class
at a time.
174
00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:58,522
That's a physical
limitation I have.
175
00:06:58,607 --> 00:06:59,992
Can't be in two classes
at once.
176
00:07:00,077 --> 00:07:02,461
And I would if I could,
and HG knows that.
177
00:07:02,546 --> 00:07:04,165
She gets
that I'm dedicated.
178
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,561
She hasn't said it,
but sometimes I can feel
179
00:07:06,646 --> 00:07:07,937
her eyes graze
over me,
180
00:07:08,022 --> 00:07:10,476
and I feel oceans of approval
and love.
181
00:07:10,561 --> 00:07:12,578
One day,
I am gonna get a DMT.
182
00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:14,594
That stands for
Distressed Muscle Tank.
183
00:07:14,679 --> 00:07:16,976
The DMTs get to work out
next to HG.
184
00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,617
I just gotta put in the time,
keep getting better.
185
00:07:19,702 --> 00:07:22,222
I'm gonna go fill up my mattress
with ice and rest up for later.
186
00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:25,797
So,
Hayley's in a cult.
187
00:07:25,882 --> 00:07:27,635
Yeah,
an exercise cult.
188
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,976
No.
It's a real cult, Roger.
189
00:07:30,061 --> 00:07:32,257
Like Jonestown
with ankle weights.
190
00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:33,442
And I should know.
191
00:07:33,527 --> 00:07:35,310
I've been in more cults
than anyone.
192
00:07:35,395 --> 00:07:36,676
Remind me?
193
00:07:39,895 --> 00:07:40,801
Francine!
194
00:07:40,886 --> 00:07:42,559
Is that
The Scrapbook I hear?
195
00:07:42,668 --> 00:07:43,715
I don't have my keys!
196
00:07:43,823 --> 00:07:45,663
I left them in the car
when I rolled out of it!
197
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,706
- Scrapbook!
- Scrapbook?
198
00:07:49,822 --> 00:07:50,888
Oh, shit!
199
00:07:50,973 --> 00:07:53,499
Scrapbook! Yay!
200
00:07:53,584 --> 00:07:55,483
Oh, wow.
Remember this?
201
00:07:55,568 --> 00:07:58,358
I liked wearing all
the red and orange clothes.
202
00:07:58,472 --> 00:08:00,427
Oh, this was
this vegan one.
203
00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:02,254
We ate so much spelt.
204
00:08:02,339 --> 00:08:04,647
Some people had a lot of sex
with the guy.
205
00:08:04,732 --> 00:08:07,429
Those cupcakes ended up
being poisoned.
206
00:08:07,514 --> 00:08:09,993
Still have those Nikes
somewhere.
207
00:08:10,078 --> 00:08:13,030
Honey, you might fall for cults,
but let's be real...
208
00:08:13,294 --> 00:08:15,553
Cults also fall
for you.
209
00:08:15,638 --> 00:08:16,929
Frann-ay!
210
00:08:17,014 --> 00:08:20,319
Always skyrocketing right
into the inner circle.
211
00:08:20,404 --> 00:08:21,355
True.
212
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,983
I'm either a right-hand man
or a high-up wife.
213
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,312
Oh, God, and there's me
on the altar.
214
00:08:26,409 --> 00:08:28,096
You were gonna
sacrifice me.
215
00:08:28,181 --> 00:08:30,116
But then the knife broke!
216
00:08:34,425 --> 00:08:36,515
Ah! That was fun.
I needed that.
217
00:08:36,623 --> 00:08:38,706
- But I gotta get back to it.
- Same.
218
00:08:38,791 --> 00:08:40,538
Yeah, it's a big time
of year for me.
219
00:08:41,906 --> 00:08:43,984
You've been in a lot of cults.
I remember now.
220
00:08:44,069 --> 00:08:46,577
Yeah,
cults are really fun,
221
00:08:46,662 --> 00:08:50,142
but I have a sixth sense about
when the fun is over.
222
00:08:50,227 --> 00:08:52,934
You know,
when there's gonna be a FBI raid
223
00:08:53,019 --> 00:08:55,999
or mass soo-ey,
or blend up beavers
224
00:08:56,084 --> 00:08:58,093
and put it in
the town's water supply.
225
00:08:58,178 --> 00:08:59,194
Cool.
226
00:08:59,279 --> 00:09:01,703
How and why did we get
into this convo again?
227
00:09:01,788 --> 00:09:03,476
- Hayley is in a cult.
- Riiight.
228
00:09:03,561 --> 00:09:05,843
- You gonna help her get out?
- I'm not helping her.
229
00:09:05,928 --> 00:09:07,943
She's gotta get out by herself
because...
230
00:09:08,028 --> 00:09:09,468
Benevolent Neglect!
231
00:09:09,553 --> 00:09:10,570
Speaking of which,
you know
232
00:09:10,654 --> 00:09:12,124
what I neglect
sometimes?
233
00:09:12,249 --> 00:09:13,585
My own needs.
234
00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:16,147
That's not a joke.
It's something sad.
235
00:09:18,998 --> 00:09:21,265
Whooooo!
Let's do this!
236
00:09:26,106 --> 00:09:27,155
What's going on?
237
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,327
Everyone huddle up
for a second.
238
00:09:29,412 --> 00:09:31,062
We're having a bit
of a problem.
239
00:09:31,147 --> 00:09:34,038
The fire marshall's
been sniffing around.
240
00:09:34,123 --> 00:09:36,671
He wants to do
an "inspection,"
241
00:09:36,756 --> 00:09:38,101
and we all know
what that means.
242
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,066
He's gonna come in here
and try to shut us down.
243
00:09:44,946 --> 00:09:46,155
Guns?
244
00:09:46,446 --> 00:09:48,991
They have to be worth
$600 each!
245
00:09:49,076 --> 00:09:50,546
And you're just
giving them to us?
246
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:51,851
Is this real?
247
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,405
Hey, girl, what that?
248
00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:58,474
It's my gym gun.
249
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,272
Anyway, I'm just here to grab
some extra clothes
250
00:10:00,356 --> 00:10:01,999
and all of
my important documents.
251
00:10:02,084 --> 00:10:03,641
I'm gonna be living at the gym
from now on,
252
00:10:03,725 --> 00:10:05,116
for maximum readiness.
253
00:10:05,201 --> 00:10:08,640
Honey, what if, just like,
as a readiness exercise,
254
00:10:08,725 --> 00:10:10,874
I said, don't go live
at the gym?
255
00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:13,383
I'd call you a CV and tell you
to suck my butt.
256
00:10:13,516 --> 00:10:15,546
And a CV is...?
257
00:10:15,631 --> 00:10:16,718
A Commitment Vampire.
258
00:10:16,803 --> 00:10:18,031
It's the worst thing
you can be.
259
00:10:18,115 --> 00:10:20,163
Cool.
Perfect answer.
260
00:10:22,139 --> 00:10:25,233
Looks like the fun is over
at HG Studio.
261
00:10:25,318 --> 00:10:27,616
Unfortunately, Hayley doesn't
seem to have
262
00:10:27,717 --> 00:10:29,405
my sense of cult timing.
263
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,018
I'm gonna have to
help get her out.
264
00:10:31,103 --> 00:10:32,658
What happened
to Benevolent Neglect?
265
00:10:32,743 --> 00:10:34,661
Too late
for Benevolent Neglect!
266
00:10:34,746 --> 00:10:36,077
We've got a new plan.
267
00:10:36,162 --> 00:10:37,397
It's called...
268
00:10:38,608 --> 00:10:40,390
Francine's Plan.
269
00:10:45,423 --> 00:10:47,554
Keep the car running.
I'll be right out.
270
00:10:47,639 --> 00:10:48,874
Vroom vroom.
271
00:10:55,539 --> 00:10:56,897
Mom?!
272
00:10:57,101 --> 00:10:58,513
Did I inspire you?
273
00:10:58,606 --> 00:10:59,655
Yeah.
274
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:02,659
Let me just say,
you have amazing taste.
275
00:11:02,952 --> 00:11:05,601
I wish the first cult
I ever joined was this nice.
276
00:11:05,686 --> 00:11:07,769
- Not a cult.
- It's a great space.
277
00:11:07,854 --> 00:11:10,443
I'm seeing
a super-charismatic leader.
278
00:11:10,674 --> 00:11:13,163
The inner circle
has sick-ass tanks.
279
00:11:13,248 --> 00:11:14,297
DMTs.
280
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,103
- Primo cult, for sure.
- Damn right.
281
00:11:17,188 --> 00:11:19,271
But shit is
about to go down.
282
00:11:19,356 --> 00:11:21,450
We have to get you out of here
right now.
283
00:11:21,535 --> 00:11:22,882
Okay, suck my butt.
284
00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:24,885
Since when do you have
advice for me?
285
00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:26,796
We will deprogram you
later,
286
00:11:26,881 --> 00:11:28,688
but for now,
just listen.
287
00:11:28,962 --> 00:11:31,428
The schematics show
a window in the bathroom.
288
00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:33,077
We're gonna slip out.
289
00:11:33,162 --> 00:11:35,718
Roger is waiting outside
with the car running.
290
00:11:35,803 --> 00:11:37,452
There was a funny smell
in the car,
291
00:11:37,537 --> 00:11:38,836
and I couldn't get
the windows down.
292
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,319
Had to use that hammer
to get out.
293
00:11:40,404 --> 00:11:42,445
The little hammer for
if you drive into a river?
294
00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:44,712
Anyway, have you seen
HG?
295
00:11:44,819 --> 00:11:46,264
I'm all in, Franny.
296
00:11:46,349 --> 00:11:47,442
All. In.
297
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,316
Roger gets it!
298
00:11:49,401 --> 00:11:50,976
And you're a CV.
299
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,287
And I have to report
any CV behavior.
300
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:54,733
- HG!
- HG!
301
00:11:54,818 --> 00:11:56,329
HG, I love you!
302
00:11:56,414 --> 00:11:57,788
Do you see me, HG?
303
00:11:57,873 --> 00:12:00,808
First day, HG!
Very impressive, yes?
304
00:12:01,784 --> 00:12:04,679
Hi, ladies!
Fire marshall here.
305
00:12:05,673 --> 00:12:07,798
I'm just gonna take
a quick looky-loo,
306
00:12:07,883 --> 00:12:09,914
and I will be
out of your hair.
307
00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:14,433
Fire marshall?
308
00:12:14,518 --> 00:12:17,239
Fire Marshall Bill!
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
309
00:12:17,324 --> 00:12:19,731
Remember that?
Oh, my God, so funny.
310
00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:25,499
I'm honored you all have taken
such an interest in my work!
311
00:12:27,296 --> 00:12:30,272
Hmm.
All the windows are sealed shut.
312
00:12:30,357 --> 00:12:32,382
That's gonna be a no-go.
313
00:12:32,476 --> 00:12:35,312
No one's getting out of there
in a hurry.
314
00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:39,116
I'm not lovin' that.
315
00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:43,647
Whoa.
Loose floorboard?
316
00:12:43,732 --> 00:12:44,851
When I was a kid,
317
00:12:44,936 --> 00:12:47,413
my grandma tripped
on a loose floorboard
318
00:12:47,498 --> 00:12:49,062
and fell on her butt.
319
00:12:49,147 --> 00:12:51,296
It was so embarrassing!
320
00:12:51,381 --> 00:12:53,068
I'm gonna have to close
this place down.
321
00:12:53,252 --> 00:12:54,319
Just leave!
322
00:12:54,404 --> 00:12:56,621
No one shuts us down
over a loose floorboard!
323
00:12:56,706 --> 00:12:57,632
Aah!
324
00:12:57,729 --> 00:12:59,530
Ah!
My tiny gun went off!
325
00:12:59,615 --> 00:13:02,952
Y-You shot me
in the tummy!
326
00:13:03,102 --> 00:13:04,905
Oh, my God!
327
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:08,804
- What do we do? What do we doooo?
- Everything is okay.
328
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,488
This needed to happen.
329
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:12,029
It was necessary.
330
00:13:12,114 --> 00:13:13,749
It had to happen, HG.
331
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,447
Here's the good news...
332
00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:17,983
This brought us
to Phase Two.
333
00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:19,920
Just a little sooner
than planned.
334
00:13:20,162 --> 00:13:21,866
Yeah, Phase Two, HG.
335
00:13:21,951 --> 00:13:23,737
This new woman...
What's your name?
336
00:13:23,822 --> 00:13:25,267
- HG?
- No.
337
00:13:25,352 --> 00:13:26,390
Then Britney M.
338
00:13:26,475 --> 00:13:27,932
Welcome to
the inner circle.
339
00:13:28,017 --> 00:13:30,083
Two tosses for Britney M.
340
00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:35,562
Yay!
341
00:13:35,647 --> 00:13:37,687
In 20 minutes, we're gonna
load up the buses,
342
00:13:37,772 --> 00:13:39,288
head to the airfield,
and take off
343
00:13:39,373 --> 00:13:42,798
for our remote studio location
in the jungles of the Congo.
344
00:13:42,883 --> 00:13:44,867
Everyone
have your passports?
345
00:13:44,952 --> 00:13:47,687
Just kidding.
We have your passports.
346
00:13:49,122 --> 00:13:50,303
- Ugh!
- Don't worry.
347
00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,196
We have your passports.
348
00:13:52,281 --> 00:13:54,038
I'm part of the "we."
349
00:13:57,154 --> 00:13:58,749
You saw what I saw.
350
00:13:58,834 --> 00:13:59,982
There's still time.
351
00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:01,952
We can't leave the country
with these people.
352
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:03,968
You're right.
That was crazy.
353
00:14:04,053 --> 00:14:05,733
I wanna go home.
354
00:14:05,818 --> 00:14:08,905
Just follow me behind the bus,
and then start running.
355
00:14:14,141 --> 00:14:15,647
Good work, Francine.
356
00:14:17,338 --> 00:14:19,058
What are you doing?!
357
00:14:19,197 --> 00:14:21,489
Betraying you,
getting a cool tank top.
358
00:14:21,574 --> 00:14:23,723
It looks great on you,
Francine.
359
00:14:23,808 --> 00:14:25,577
You've got the good shoulders
for it.
360
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,616
So do I, though.
361
00:14:31,134 --> 00:14:34,218
And up and back and kick,
362
00:14:34,403 --> 00:14:37,163
front, table top, extend.
363
00:14:37,432 --> 00:14:40,714
I mean, I love HG,
but what you did was savage.
364
00:14:40,799 --> 00:14:43,042
Sold out your own kid
for a DMT.
365
00:14:43,127 --> 00:14:45,757
My voice is the only voice
I should hear.
366
00:14:45,842 --> 00:14:47,069
Sorry, HG.
367
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,270
I mean, I get it.
I shot a guy.
368
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:51,502
But I'm like you...
I don't even feel bad about it.
369
00:14:51,587 --> 00:14:53,604
Shhhh!
Britney M.
370
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,372
Almost done, HG.
371
00:14:55,457 --> 00:14:57,900
And she's fine.
She's in Non-Prison Confinement.
372
00:14:57,985 --> 00:15:00,772
I don't wanna go to non-prison,
but Hayley's probably okay.
373
00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:03,006
- Oh, God.
- Ooof. I know.
374
00:15:03,091 --> 00:15:05,075
- It's really hot in here, right?
- Shhhh!
375
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:08,187
And then, I put a little bit
of mint, banana, a green apple.
376
00:15:08,272 --> 00:15:08,978
Sometimes.
377
00:15:09,063 --> 00:15:10,425
It's packed with,
like, everything...
378
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,955
Flax, chia, fish oil,
CBD oil, coconut oil,
379
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,619
olive oil, Pennzoil...
It's very oily.
380
00:15:15,704 --> 00:15:17,692
Don't spill it,
because you'll be cleaning
381
00:15:17,777 --> 00:15:18,759
for the rest
of the morning.
382
00:15:18,844 --> 00:15:21,588
But you'll have crazy energy
if you get any in your mouth.
383
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:23,063
How long do
I have to be in here?
384
00:15:23,148 --> 00:15:24,728
Until you're ready
to dance again.
385
00:15:24,813 --> 00:15:26,900
You mean I can just
go back to class?
386
00:15:26,985 --> 00:15:27,902
Sure.
387
00:15:27,987 --> 00:15:29,740
But if you are gonna make
the smoothie,
388
00:15:29,825 --> 00:15:32,436
do not smoke for
up to 36 hours after.
389
00:15:32,521 --> 00:15:33,884
You will explode.
390
00:15:40,283 --> 00:15:41,869
Hayley, I'm so sorry.
391
00:15:41,954 --> 00:15:44,388
I never should have betrayed you
for this tank top,
392
00:15:44,473 --> 00:15:45,588
even though
I look amazing.
393
00:15:45,673 --> 00:15:47,767
We gotta get out of here,
for real.
394
00:15:47,852 --> 00:15:49,345
I shouldn't trust you.
395
00:15:50,081 --> 00:15:52,967
Okay, meet me tonight.
I know a way.
396
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:56,301
Also, I figured out which one
of the girls has the bad B.O.
397
00:15:56,386 --> 00:15:57,386
It's me.
398
00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:00,387
Just a little further.
399
00:16:00,472 --> 00:16:02,192
Ah, here it is!
400
00:16:02,277 --> 00:16:04,393
You see, HG?
I told you!
401
00:16:04,478 --> 00:16:05,967
She's the real CV!
402
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,299
Hayley!
403
00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:10,475
Oh, what, Mom?
404
00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:12,424
I wanna be
in the inner circle.
405
00:16:12,509 --> 00:16:14,236
I feel really left out!
406
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,939
I'll take my DMT now,
thank you.
407
00:16:16,054 --> 00:16:17,533
You better watch
your back!
408
00:16:17,618 --> 00:16:19,503
That DMT is mine.
409
00:16:19,588 --> 00:16:22,639
No, that DMT is mine,
actually.
410
00:16:22,724 --> 00:16:24,147
You two are
a lot of trouble,
411
00:16:24,232 --> 00:16:26,009
and I don't have time
for this.
412
00:16:26,094 --> 00:16:28,408
You're both going
to non-prison.
413
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:29,656
- What?!
- What?!
414
00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:32,869
Ooooh!
You made Mommy maaaaad.
415
00:16:32,954 --> 00:16:34,872
Shh!
You talk too much.
416
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,056
A criticism!
417
00:16:37,448 --> 00:16:39,814
A flying caterpillar!
418
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,400
What is wrong with us?
419
00:16:41,485 --> 00:16:42,588
It's not us.
420
00:16:42,673 --> 00:16:44,899
It's the cult.
We're brainwashed.
421
00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:47,804
Yeah, but we're the ones
who decided to join a cult.
422
00:16:47,889 --> 00:16:49,103
That's true.
423
00:16:49,188 --> 00:16:51,304
Why do I
keep joining cults?
424
00:16:51,389 --> 00:16:52,845
What is that about?
425
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,892
Maybe it has something to do
with my mom.
426
00:16:55,977 --> 00:16:59,198
She was always telling me
what to do, what to think.
427
00:16:59,283 --> 00:17:00,478
I hated it!
428
00:17:00,563 --> 00:17:02,987
But maybe on some level,
429
00:17:03,072 --> 00:17:05,584
I keep looking
to re-create it?
430
00:17:05,669 --> 00:17:07,389
I think it's the opposite
for me.
431
00:17:07,474 --> 00:17:10,393
I was dying for someone
to tell me what to do,
432
00:17:10,478 --> 00:17:12,869
or at least
just give me some advice.
433
00:17:12,954 --> 00:17:15,037
I'd like you
to be that person.
434
00:17:15,122 --> 00:17:16,353
I'm sorry.
435
00:17:16,614 --> 00:17:19,095
I just didn't want to be
like my mom.
436
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,884
You're not
your mom.
437
00:17:21,078 --> 00:17:23,619
But I do need you
to be my mom.
438
00:17:24,247 --> 00:17:25,527
I can do that.
439
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,728
Should we start a coup
against HG?
440
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,463
Are you ready
for my motherly advice?
441
00:17:31,058 --> 00:17:32,392
Yes.
442
00:17:33,060 --> 00:17:34,603
Let's dance.
443
00:17:37,441 --> 00:17:38,744
Listen up, ladies!
444
00:17:39,013 --> 00:17:41,424
I've been in a lot of cults
in my life,
445
00:17:41,509 --> 00:17:43,017
and I know what's up.
446
00:17:43,102 --> 00:17:46,758
HG acts like a god,
but she's just a person.
447
00:17:46,843 --> 00:17:49,511
A very hot,
charismatic person
448
00:17:49,596 --> 00:17:51,789
with a great
exercise regimen
449
00:17:51,874 --> 00:17:53,689
that gives us confidence
450
00:17:53,789 --> 00:17:56,807
and the direction
that we need in our lives,
451
00:17:56,892 --> 00:18:01,134
and cool butts that look like
two stuck-together onions!
452
00:18:01,219 --> 00:18:03,236
Yay!
453
00:18:03,321 --> 00:18:04,843
No! No.
454
00:18:05,011 --> 00:18:08,095
She means,
HG is a bad person.
455
00:18:08,195 --> 00:18:10,252
And we're all
brainwashed!
456
00:18:10,337 --> 00:18:14,689
She's got us exercising
in a jungle for 10 hours a day!
457
00:18:14,774 --> 00:18:17,220
Let's band together
and get out of here!
458
00:18:17,545 --> 00:18:20,257
And she keeps shushing me.
It's so rude.
459
00:18:22,129 --> 00:18:24,132
What's with all
the loose floorboards?
460
00:18:24,388 --> 00:18:26,765
Okay, she's not even hurt.
What gives?
461
00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:28,504
The bullets went
right through her!
462
00:18:28,888 --> 00:18:31,046
She is a god!
463
00:18:33,247 --> 00:18:34,859
Oh, shit, she is!
464
00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:36,158
My bad, HG!
465
00:18:36,358 --> 00:18:39,079
Kneel before me.
466
00:18:39,164 --> 00:18:41,257
And remember to activate
your core
467
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:44,601
as you beg
for my forgiveness.
468
00:18:45,514 --> 00:18:46,514
Huh?
469
00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:50,913
Uh, eyes up.
470
00:18:51,066 --> 00:18:52,609
My butt is up here.
471
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:58,745
She's not a god!
472
00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:00,583
She's not even a person!
473
00:19:00,668 --> 00:19:02,382
She's a hologram!
474
00:19:06,335 --> 00:19:08,517
Uh... occupado?
475
00:19:08,602 --> 00:19:10,025
It's a big, gross man!
476
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:11,731
On a toilet.
477
00:19:11,947 --> 00:19:14,030
Eating oysters?
478
00:19:14,129 --> 00:19:15,734
Out of a garbage bag?
479
00:19:15,874 --> 00:19:19,484
Oh, look who it is...
Scoomby-Doo.
480
00:19:20,569 --> 00:19:22,256
So, Holly was a hologram.
481
00:19:22,341 --> 00:19:24,061
HG equals Holly Graham.
482
00:19:24,245 --> 00:19:25,444
You figured it out.
483
00:19:25,889 --> 00:19:28,878
Come on, it's funny!
It's a joke.
484
00:19:28,963 --> 00:19:31,178
You guys should smile more,
by the way.
485
00:19:32,510 --> 00:19:34,609
Yikes, dude.
What is your deal?
486
00:19:34,694 --> 00:19:35,796
My deal?
487
00:19:35,881 --> 00:19:38,991
No one ever asked the
Wizard of Oz what his deal was.
488
00:19:39,076 --> 00:19:41,882
He could sit behind a curtain,
spying on Munkins,
489
00:19:41,967 --> 00:19:44,281
and I can't ogle women
through one-way glass?
490
00:19:44,366 --> 00:19:46,866
I've committed
no crimes here.
491
00:19:48,117 --> 00:19:51,007
Why do I discard the shells
into the same sack
492
00:19:51,092 --> 00:19:52,788
I take the fresh ones
out of?
493
00:19:52,873 --> 00:19:54,304
Uh,
I frustrate myself.
494
00:19:54,389 --> 00:19:55,906
I should get
two sacks.
495
00:19:55,991 --> 00:19:57,437
Sometimes you gotta
swish around
496
00:19:57,522 --> 00:19:59,242
and look for the loosies
at the bottom.
497
00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:01,593
Oooh! Jackpot!
498
00:20:01,827 --> 00:20:04,515
Ugh!
Oh, that was a loogie.
499
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,038
I should not be spitting
my loogies in there.
500
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:11,327
See?!
You think I'm disgusting.
501
00:20:11,412 --> 00:20:13,351
This is why I need to hide
behind the mirror
502
00:20:13,436 --> 00:20:14,515
in the first place!
503
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,655
You never would have just
let me steal your money
504
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:19,229
so I could watch you dance
all day
505
00:20:19,314 --> 00:20:20,804
while I sit
on my little toilet,
506
00:20:20,889 --> 00:20:23,874
digging through my garbage bag
full of oysters.
507
00:20:24,655 --> 00:20:28,140
I had to be smart
about it.
508
00:20:29,591 --> 00:20:32,624
I see. You're all on
your periods or whatever.
509
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:33,499
Ooh!
510
00:20:33,584 --> 00:20:35,874
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
511
00:20:35,959 --> 00:20:37,382
♪ Boom, show off ♪
512
00:20:37,630 --> 00:20:38,859
Ooh!
513
00:20:39,609 --> 00:20:40,899
♪ Go 'head ♪
514
00:20:41,977 --> 00:20:44,595
♪ Now let me see that
booty work, booty work ♪
515
00:20:44,679 --> 00:20:46,866
- ♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
- I never should have made you
516
00:20:46,951 --> 00:20:48,171
so strong!
517
00:20:48,397 --> 00:20:51,444
One last request...
Put me back on the toilet.
518
00:20:51,529 --> 00:20:53,887
I wanna die
with dignity!
519
00:20:54,039 --> 00:20:55,444
- Suck our butts!
- Suck our butts!
520
00:20:56,241 --> 00:20:58,008
Buh-bye! See you soon.
Sync corrections by srjanapala