1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 Downloaded from RARBG 2 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,770 I love when our moms have book club. 3 00:00:05,810 --> 00:00:08,250 They talk books, and we have... 4 00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:10,420 - weeknight sleepovers! - Weeknight sleepovers! 5 00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:14,250 Two best friends, just doing their thang, 6 00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:17,040 making collages or whatnot. 7 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:20,210 While my mom gets too drunk to drive me home. 8 00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:23,300 Treasure Island! What'd you think? 9 00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:27,400 So good! How crazy was Gonzo's story arc?! 10 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,050 - Gonzo? - Yeah! 11 00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:31,440 When they pulled him down from the sail 12 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,400 and his fuzzy blue arms got all stretched out 13 00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:37,060 and he snapped back like a window blind! 14 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:40,670 Dut-dut-dut-dut-dut-dut-dut. That's good writing. 15 00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:43,760 Francine, did you watch Muppet Treasure Island< 16 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,110 instead of reading the book? 17 00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:48,330 Yes. But it's basically the same thing. 18 00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:50,330 There's no Muppets in the book! 19 00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,900 That sounds boring. 20 00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:54,510 Steve, I don't want to bore you with the math. 21 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:55,900 Oh, by all means, do. 22 00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:58,120 These biweekly book club meetings 23 00:00:58,170 --> 00:01:01,430 account for almost 40% of our friendship. 24 00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:04,520 Snot, you've confirmed what I've always suspected. 25 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,180 Weeknight sleepovers are the cornerstone of our friendship. 26 00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:10,000 The fact our moms are friends 27 00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:13,790 makes us the luckiest boys in the universe. 28 00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:15,660 Do you like the way I drew the letters? 29 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,660 They look like they came out of a magazine, right? 30 00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,840 You're out of your mind if you think Gonzo's a dog. 31 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,840 He's blue. 32 00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:24,370 He woofed when he saw the treasure! 33 00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:27,330 Sometimes I think we don't have anything in common. 34 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,540 Are we just pretending to get along 35 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,110 because our sons are friends? 36 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,630 I think so. 37 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,460 Maybe we can... stop? 38 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:36,680 Let's never hang out again! 39 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,820 Steve! 40 00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:41,300 We have an exciting announcement. 41 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:45,470 Snot's Mom and I have decided to stop pretending to be friends. 42 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:46,820 Pretending? 43 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,700 Yep! Book club is canceled forever. 44 00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:53,960 A 40% decrease in friendship? 45 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,400 Good morning, U.S.A. 46 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:03,230 I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day 47 00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:06,360 The sun in the sky has a smile on his face 48 00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:10,460 And he's shinin' a salute to the American race 49 00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:15,980 Oh, boy, it's swell to say 50 00:02:16,030 --> 00:02:18,030 - Good... - Good morning, U.S.A. 51 00:02:20,770 --> 00:02:24,030 Good morning, U.S.A. 52 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,860 Please, you have to stay friends! 53 00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:28,340 Think of the children! 54 00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:31,040 No one's saying you two can't be friends. 55 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,170 Why does it matter if we are? 56 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,520 Well, I don't want to bore you with the math, Mrs. Smith... 57 00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:36,870 Please, don't. 58 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:40,180 Listen, maybe you just need to clear the air. 59 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:42,750 Why don't we talk about what bothers you about each other? 60 00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:44,010 I'll start. 61 00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:46,270 She's never seen Muppet Treasure Island, 62 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,750 which is a big problem for me. 63 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,890 Book club is just an excuse for you to get shithosed! 64 00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:53,890 You brought your own bartender! 65 00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:57,370 Paul Gary's the name, mixologist is the game! 66 00:02:57,420 --> 00:03:00,940 I've got Aperol Spritzes. Boiling hot Aperol Spritzes! 67 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,200 He's not even a good bartender! 68 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,420 Aperol Spritzers are served cold! 69 00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:08,030 What are you, the Aperol Spritzers police?! 70 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,380 I'm sorry, I'm defensive because you're right. 71 00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:12,080 I'm a terrible mixologist! 72 00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:13,780 Let's go, Steve. 73 00:03:16,090 --> 00:03:18,920 Our friendship will survive this, right? 74 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,050 I'll need to crunch the numbers. 75 00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:25,920 If Paul Gary isn't a mixologist, then who is he? 76 00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:28,230 This is the beginning... 77 00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:31,230 beginning of a deeply personal journey. 78 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,630 This is... Get over yourselves! 79 00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:35,800 ...my story. 80 00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:39,980 Cheer up, Steve. 81 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,760 We can still be friends even if our moms aren't. 82 00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:45,850 Your moms aren't friends anymore? Well, I'm out. 83 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:48,950 I am not gonna watch your friendship fall apart. 84 00:03:48,990 --> 00:03:50,250 What are you talking about? 85 00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:51,950 Your moms being friends is the glue 86 00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:53,690 holding the two of you together. 87 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:55,470 It's like on the show Friends. 88 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,890 Remember how their friendship was held together 89 00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:58,690 by a deep mutual love 90 00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:01,310 of being paid a million dollars an episode? 91 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:02,870 That's your moms. 92 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,790 That's... That's crazy. 93 00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,010 Toshi, tell him. 94 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,840 Toshi? Toshi! Say something! 95 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,710 I speak fluent English and have the whole time. 96 00:04:18,020 --> 00:04:20,450 Hey, guys, are your moms friends? 97 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,980 Was The Poisonwood Bible< written by Barbara Kingsolver? 98 00:04:24,020 --> 00:04:26,370 We're not losing Barry and Toshi. 99 00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:27,850 How do we fix this? 100 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,810 May I suggest drugging the moms? 101 00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:32,990 Are you the bartender from my mom's house? 102 00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:34,690 Sort of. You see, 103 00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:38,910 I'm on a deeply personal journey to find out who I am. 104 00:04:38,950 --> 00:04:41,300 Okay. 105 00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:43,300 Paul Gary isn't a mixologist, 106 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,130 so I enrolled at Pearl Bailey to use the chemistry lab. 107 00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:49,660 Because I am now... A. Paul Gary, 108 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,490 drug mixologist. 109 00:04:51,530 --> 00:04:54,840 I mix illegal narcotics together to see what they do. 110 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,490 And recently, I came across something interesting. 111 00:04:57,540 --> 00:05:00,150 I was working in my lab late one night, 112 00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:03,500 when my eyes beheld an eerie sight. 113 00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:06,150 That's "Monster Mash," right? You're doing "Monster Mash"? 114 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,590 Never heard of it. Anyway, I was working in the lab 115 00:05:08,630 --> 00:05:10,500 late one night... 116 00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:13,380 When my eyes beheld an eerie sight 117 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:17,030 I had acid on a tab, weed in a bag 118 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,730 A splash of ether on a rag 119 00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:21,250 - He did the mash - He did the mash 120 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,950 I did the narcotics mash 121 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,690 - Narcotics mash - Narcotics mash 122 00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,740 It was a coked-out bash 123 00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:28,520 This is "Monster Mash"! 124 00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:30,920 I don't know that song! 125 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,530 I don't know any songs! 126 00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:35,050 All I do know is your moms are MILDs... 127 00:05:35,090 --> 00:05:36,700 Mothers I'd Like to Drug. 128 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:40,580 And the mash I discovered in my lab works as a love drug. 129 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:43,100 Drugs can make people fall in love? 130 00:05:43,150 --> 00:05:44,970 Drugs can do almost anything 131 00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:47,110 once you realize they're super good for you. 132 00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:50,630 Anyway, I'm proposing we dose your moms with the love drug 133 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,550 and make them fall back in love! 134 00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:53,900 And it will work? 135 00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:56,640 Steve, are you actually thinking about doing this? 136 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,210 - What other options do we have? - I don't know! 137 00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,640 We only brainstormed for like two seconds 138 00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,640 before we started talking to this guy. 139 00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:06,080 Snot's in! Love that enthusiasm! 140 00:06:06,130 --> 00:06:08,390 I'll mix up the drugs, and you two trick your moms 141 00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:09,460 - into meeting up! - They did the mash 142 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,260 Scary song! 143 00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:17,140 I can't believe the Impractical Jokers< 144 00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:19,970 are doing a meet-and-greet in Langley Falls! 145 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,920 Yeah, well, it's true. 146 00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:24,270 Steve, you seem nervous. 147 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,450 Wait, are you worried the Jokers are gonna joke you? 148 00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,850 Don't flatter yourself. 149 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,760 No one's putting a hot dog in your pocket. 150 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,290 Now, remember, Snot, when we meet the Jokers, 151 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,330 you're my nephew. 152 00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:39,510 Francine. 153 00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:44,340 Shove! Drugs! 154 00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:45,950 - What is this? - Don't leave me in here... 155 00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:49,130 Congrats on a perfectly executed drugging, boys. 156 00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:51,210 To the 33rd floor! 157 00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:55,260 I really hope this works. 158 00:06:55,310 --> 00:06:58,180 Did you even notice that I basically teleported us up here? 159 00:06:58,220 --> 00:06:59,610 I was impressed. 160 00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:01,620 Thank you, Snot's Mom's kid. 161 00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:03,440 Now, by the time these doors open, 162 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,620 your moms will be fast friends, 163 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:07,840 unless the dose is too strong. 164 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,060 Are you two prepared to see your moms hooking up? 165 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,450 I'm not saying it's what I want to see, 166 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,020 but I won't be disappointed. 167 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:16,630 Well, I hope you two... 168 00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:21,550 What is happening?! They're worse than before! 169 00:07:21,590 --> 00:07:24,070 This might not be a love drug. 170 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,810 Yeah, this is meth. I made meth. 171 00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,640 Welp, when in Rome... 172 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,210 Well, this is surprising. 173 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:37,870 So to get us to be friends, you drugged us?! 174 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:40,000 I don't want you seeing Snot anymore. 175 00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:42,000 He's a terrible influence on you! 176 00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:43,660 - What?! - No way! 177 00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:46,230 I forbid Snot from seeing Steve! 178 00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:48,490 He's the one who started calling him Snot, 179 00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:50,230 and now everyone says it! 180 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,840 No, mom! Please, it was my fault. 181 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,060 It's my fault! Don't do this! 182 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,500 But it's really my fault. 183 00:07:57,540 --> 00:08:00,330 I'm a terrible drug mixologist. 184 00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:04,240 Will A. Paul Gary ever know who he's supposed to be? 185 00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:06,110 My story continues. 186 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,250 Well, I'm off. Goodbye, Father. 187 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,520 Goodbye, Sister. Goodbye, fish. 188 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,430 Damn, he left out Mother. 189 00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:19,910 Don't try to sneak around with Snot at school. 190 00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:21,570 I will find out. 191 00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:23,520 We're finally getting rid of Snot? 192 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,050 Good. That kid is the worst. 193 00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,350 - Stan, you love Snot. - I do? 194 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,620 Yeah, I think your Memento< style amnesia 195 00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:30,700 is acting up. 196 00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:31,920 You need to check your tattoos. 197 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,060 Interesting. 198 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,360 Concerning. 199 00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:40,370 Oh, yeah! Why are we getting rid of Snot? He's the best! 200 00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:43,630 Because Mom can't put her son ahead of her selfish wants. 201 00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:45,420 That's how it started. 202 00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:48,460 But then someone decided to drug their mom. 203 00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:51,550 Oh, if it was so awful, then why did you and Roger 204 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,420 finish the baggie and go to that warehouse party?! 205 00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:57,510 I had no choice but to dance it off! 206 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,820 "You appreciate your family." 207 00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:02,650 That doesn't sound right. 208 00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:05,130 No, it doesn't. 209 00:09:07,790 --> 00:09:11,400 Gosh, our moms did not respond well to getting dosed? 210 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,750 No kidding. 211 00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:14,840 My mom told me I couldn't even see you at school. 212 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,750 Rule breakers! 213 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:20,800 Last night, I got a phone call from your mom, Smith. 214 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,760 This friendship has always weirded me out, 215 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,460 and I am on board with tearing it apart! 216 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,850 Billy! 217 00:09:27,890 --> 00:09:30,160 Here are your new schedules. 218 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,770 Zero classes together. 219 00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:34,330 Billy, why are you helping him? 220 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:37,120 I've already got the stitches. 221 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,950 Might as well be a snitches. 222 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,200 What are we going to do? Lewis is everywhere. 223 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,980 We could build a friendship here. 224 00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,810 This stall isn't so bad. 225 00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:16,460 I'm doing a trainspotting! 226 00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:21,640 Steve and Snot, two friends, both alike in stupidity. 227 00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:24,340 Busted as hell! 228 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,860 Since you can't be trusted, 229 00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:28,170 I'll be escorting Smith to his next class. 230 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:38,750 Steve! 231 00:10:38,790 --> 00:10:40,400 What are you doing here? 232 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,050 I can't sit at home knowing you're down the road 233 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,580 staring up at the same stars as me! 234 00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,840 I actually don't look at the stars that often. 235 00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:49,670 They've always kind of bored me. 236 00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:52,850 That's right, chuckle heads! 237 00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:55,410 I'm patrolling your houses, too! 238 00:10:55,460 --> 00:10:57,500 Run! 239 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,040 Go in on foot, Billy! 240 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:10,780 I'll cut them off on the other side. 241 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,390 I think we lost him. 242 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,700 End of the road... 243 00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:22,270 ...for my hypocrisy. 244 00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:25,530 I, too, know what it is to be in love. 245 00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,750 I wouldn't say we're in love. 246 00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:30,710 But my father forbids our union. 247 00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:34,110 I don't know why. He created her! 248 00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:38,280 Isn't she beautiful? 249 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,722 - Yeah, yeah, super pretty. - Totally. 250 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,290 Now go! Wait! 251 00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:45,330 He needs to think you overpowered me. 252 00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:48,250 I know violence isn't in your nature, but... 253 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,770 Eat knuckles, freak! 254 00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:55,040 You went easy on me, Steve! 255 00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:58,480 Ma'am. 256 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,960 Over here! 257 00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:06,090 Wait, this is that bartender again. 258 00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:07,440 Mixologist. 259 00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:10,100 And, yes, I'm still on a deeply personal journey 260 00:12:10,140 --> 00:12:12,270 to discover who I'm supposed to be. 261 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,010 But I think I've figured it out! 262 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:16,670 And I've gone full apothecary! 263 00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:21,940 That's right! A. Paul Gary is now A. Poth E. Cary, 264 00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:24,020 dealing in potions and poisons. 265 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,030 Which, at the moment, are a little difficult to tell apart 266 00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:31,600 because my label maker is garbage. 267 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,470 I hear you've got a real Romeo and Juliet< problem. 268 00:12:34,510 --> 00:12:37,600 Well, I have a Romeo and Juliet< solution... 269 00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:38,780 Fake your deaths! 270 00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:43,350 Yes! There's that famous Snot enthusiasm! 271 00:12:43,390 --> 00:12:44,830 You see, on this shelf, 272 00:12:44,870 --> 00:12:47,530 I've got thousands of unlabeled potions and poisons. 273 00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:49,700 This will put you in a deep slumber, 274 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,970 indistinguishable from death. 275 00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:55,360 When you're found "dead," your mothers will blame themselves. 276 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,710 We'll time it so you wake up at your own funeral, 277 00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:59,040 and then you pop out of your coffins, 278 00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:00,410 and they'll be so relieved, 279 00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:01,980 they'll let you be friends again! 280 00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,800 Steve, we can't do this. 281 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,500 The love drug was a disaster. 282 00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,550 Disaster? This guy's acting like 283 00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:09,640 you didn't see me punching myself in the dick. 284 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:12,160 We don't have another choice. 285 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,160 Okay, let's do it. 286 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,860 Wait. 287 00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:17,600 That one was the poison. 288 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:20,470 There. 289 00:13:21,690 --> 00:13:22,740 There. 290 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,170 There. 291 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,740 Actually. Here's the potion. 292 00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:30,530 All the little ones are full of poison... I think. 293 00:13:30,570 --> 00:13:33,090 But let's just decide to feel confident. 294 00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:12,390 Steve and Snot had a friendship so close 295 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,610 that they died in each other's arms, 296 00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:17,400 clinging so tight that they could not be separated. 297 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:22,140 Now they will be laid to rest together, in one big-ass coffin. 298 00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:28,320 Francine, I'm so sorry. 299 00:14:28,370 --> 00:14:31,150 All I had to do was pretend to like you, 300 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,410 and none of this would have happened! 301 00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:36,590 No, Snot's Mom. I'm sorry. 302 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,640 I'd spend an eternity pretending to like you 303 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,990 if it meant Steve would be alive again. 304 00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:45,300 After our loved ones move on, 305 00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,730 do we ever see them again on this Earth? 306 00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,610 Most people say no, 307 00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:53,610 but I say, sometimes we get a second chance! 308 00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:58,090 Shit. 309 00:14:58,140 --> 00:15:00,790 I must've given them poison. How could that have happened? 310 00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:02,790 Everyone, I have an announcement. 311 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,660 This is actually a real funeral. 312 00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:07,100 This is a strange eulogy. 313 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:10,320 Second announcement... I'm not a good apothecary. 314 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,150 My story marches onward. 315 00:15:13,190 --> 00:15:15,980 Please don't let Roger speak at my funeral. 316 00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:20,640 Guys, I know you're sad about Snot, 317 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,290 but let me turn that grief into relief, 318 00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,510 that sadness into gladness, 319 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,860 that sorrow into "the sun'll come out tomorrow". 320 00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,780 I'm good at these. 321 00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:32,340 Wait! I was gonna tell you something! 322 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,300 You know how I've been on this crazy adventure 323 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,960 trying to nail down this persona? 324 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,960 Well, I got it! 325 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,350 Apothe-Carrie Bradshaw, sex blogger! 326 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:45,570 I couldn't help but wonder, would Steve be alive 327 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:48,140 if I hadn't accidentally poisoned him? 328 00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:51,710 But sometimes that's how it goes when you're Sex and the City. 329 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,670 - You poisoned Steve?! - And Snot! 330 00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:56,320 Easy! 331 00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:58,200 If you really miss him, we can get him back. 332 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,720 What the hell are you talking about?! 333 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,900 We can go to the underworld and get him back. 334 00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:04,900 The underworld?! 335 00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:07,680 No mortal knows the path to the underworld! 336 00:16:07,730 --> 00:16:10,420 Yeah-huh! There's an elevator in the back of Sub Hub. 337 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,860 They had a promotion in the '80s 338 00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:13,780 where they were sending people to hell. 339 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,520 Now that my two favorite sad moms 340 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,260 have put their differences aside, 341 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,910 it's time to get their boys back. 342 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,570 Then maybe brunch? 343 00:16:22,610 --> 00:16:24,870 We still have to find out who sold them poison. 344 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,530 No, we don't! Stay focused. 345 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:30,710 Now, through this door lies the entrance to the underworld. 346 00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,230 Join me on the elevator. 347 00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:37,540 Or hell-evator, as those Sub Hub marketing geniuses 348 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:41,020 referred to it in the summer of '87. 349 00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:43,890 Here's how it works... Everyone gets sent to different floors 350 00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,550 based on how they lived their lives. 351 00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:46,940 There's a floor for philanderers, 352 00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,590 gossips, heretics. 353 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,070 Oh! There's a Cinnabon on six! 354 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,210 - Roger! - Okay, okay! 355 00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,380 Someone's in a hurry to find their dead son. 356 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,250 I think this should be it. 357 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,390 Snot's Mom, Steve's Mom, 358 00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:00,430 welcome to the floor for masturbators. 359 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:03,830 I mean, it makes sense... 360 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,920 That was... horrifying! 361 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,230 No Steve and Snot. 362 00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:14,750 Also, strange it's just a twisted landscape 363 00:17:14,790 --> 00:17:16,230 full of guys cranking it. 364 00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:17,800 Doesn't seem like a punishment. 365 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,150 More like a really good warehouse party. 366 00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:22,410 - Which floor is next? - Sodomites. 367 00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:24,410 I'd recommend waiting here. 368 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,280 Roger! 369 00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:31,770 Did you stop at the Cinnabon? 370 00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:35,070 And even better, I finally figured out who Paul Gary is. 371 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,510 A sodomite! 372 00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:39,250 My journey has come to an end! 373 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,560 Oh, interesting. 374 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,000 The eighth floor is just for nibbling tush. 375 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,910 My journey might just be getting started! 376 00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:47,430 Roger! Where are the boys? 377 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,310 I'm out of ideas. Maybe we just talk to the man in charge? 378 00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:52,270 And then no matter what he tells us, 379 00:17:52,310 --> 00:17:54,830 we can circle back to the tush nibbling floor. 380 00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:59,450 And I'm sending my e-mail... 381 00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:00,840 now. 382 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,190 Okay, what are we doing here? What do we need? 383 00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,190 We're looking for our sons. 384 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,980 I will take you to them. 385 00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,940 They are with the worst of the worst. 386 00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:14,110 The floor for people who support live comedy. 387 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,290 I didn't say a billion oil tankers. 388 00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:19,820 I said a billion oil tankers! 389 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:22,640 Oops, I told that wrong! That's my time! 390 00:18:22,690 --> 00:18:25,120 All right! Keep it going for Crazy Dave. 391 00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:28,740 Up next, he's the only comedian down here... Crazy Dave! 392 00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:30,960 Just a reminder, guys. 393 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,830 This is a punishment for me, too. 394 00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:33,960 There they are! 395 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,480 - Steve! - Mom! 396 00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:36,960 - Snot! - Snot's Mom! 397 00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:38,660 You're coming home. 398 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,050 Who says we want to go? 399 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,970 Yeah, down here, no one says we can't be friends. 400 00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:45,580 You can be friends back home. 401 00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:48,150 Steve, I'm sorry. 402 00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:51,020 As a mother, I should've put you first. 403 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:54,200 And it was wrong of me to do something that made you die. 404 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:58,550 I'm sorry, too, Snot. Children should be alive. 405 00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:01,900 You guys really have learned your lesson. 406 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,820 I love you, Mom. Let's go home. 407 00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:07,380 Not so fast! 408 00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:10,170 I can't just release souls back into the world of the living. 409 00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,430 A bargain must be struck! 410 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,350 Yow! That was sick! 411 00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:21,750 Your refusal to spend time together 412 00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:24,880 started Steve and Snot on the journey that led them here. 413 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,190 If you want them to go back, 414 00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:30,360 you must stay behind in this room together. 415 00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:32,240 Really? 416 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,540 For how long? 417 00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,540 For eternity! 418 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:38,070 I heard you at the funeral! You said you would! 419 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:41,110 But they'll be miserable without their mothers! 420 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,200 They won't remember you. No one will. 421 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,810 It will be as if you never existed. 422 00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:48,210 But they will be alive. 423 00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,990 And they'll have each other? 424 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,130 We accept. 425 00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:56,780 Okay, great! That's great. 426 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:59,040 Just a bit of business... In a half-hour or so, 427 00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:01,310 one of my archangels is actually gonna need this room, 428 00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:04,480 so we'll probably have to move you to another room. 429 00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:06,750 No, you know what? I'm the devil, I'm the boss. 430 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:10,100 You're gonna stay here. He can go to another room. 431 00:20:10,140 --> 00:20:12,410 You know what? I should ask. 432 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,980 Hey, wanna stay over at my single dad's house tonight? 433 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,420 Weeknight sleepover! 434 00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:24,770 I'll call my sisterless uncle! 435 00:20:27,030 --> 00:20:33,340 If I die before I'm famous 436 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:39,520 What's the point of anything? 437 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:44,830 I'm too sentimental to get... 438 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:48,620 In a different timeline, you have different tattoos. 439 00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:50,310 That makes sense. 440 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,880 Francine loves Muppet Treasure Island. 441 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,670 Francine? Who is... 442 00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:56,450 Francine! 443 00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:58,450 Bye! Have a great time!