1 00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:06,538 Announcer: Fargo. 2 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,674 All new wednesdays at 10:00. 3 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,509 On fx. 4 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,645 Woman: Son of a bitch! 5 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:16,849 Woman: Fxx presents Archer. 6 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,959 So, uh, what are we doing? 7 00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:28,293 Are we just jumping right into this, 8 00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:29,628 or what's the deal? 9 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,466 Alrighty! And how's our patient? 10 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:38,237 And, follow up, where is our patient? 11 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,872 Meaning? 12 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,340 Okay, you know what? 13 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,075 You're about as helpful as tits on a-- 14 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,677 You! 15 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,579 Look what you've done to me! 16 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:50,582 Yeah, right? I'm a monster! 17 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,052 You're a miracle! You didn't even have feet! 18 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,754 Now look at you, walking around on new legs, 19 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,157 with hands that can crush steel-- 20 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:01,860 And, I mean, don't try it right now, obviously, but-- 21 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,029 Look at me! 22 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,864 I'm a goddamn freak! 23 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,667 And I don't know who I'm gonna kill first, 24 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:11,003 you or that son of a bitch len trexler. 25 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,238 Well, first of all, it's "whom." 26 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,773 Uh, no, it isn't. 27 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,341 It absolutely is. Doesn't matter. 28 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,177 But if it'll help you decide, 29 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,446 this serum, which is sort of the key to the whole deal, 30 00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:21,880 I call factor-k. 31 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:24,917 And? And your body will reject its new components, 32 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,285 and you will die in agony, 33 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,786 unless you get an injection of it. 34 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,189 Wha-- well, give it here, shitbeard. 35 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,092 Uhh! Goddamn it. 36 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,461 Ow. Okay, that kind of hurt, 37 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,729 and I'm already in a pretty bad mood, 38 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,431 so I'm gonna kill you first. 39 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,266 So, any last words? 40 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,202 Every 12 hours. 41 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,770 Cryptic. Nice. 42 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,738 Usually people just blubber and beg, 43 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,641 and those big gloobs of snot run outta their nose, but you-- 44 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:52,544 if you don't get a shot of factor-k every 12 hours, 45 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:53,812 you will die. 46 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,048 Bullshit. Which-- and that's fair, but-- 47 00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:57,449 let me guess. 48 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,952 You're only gonna make enough for one injection at a time. 49 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,920 Well, I am now. 50 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:04,890 Goddamn it! Yeah, so, like an insurance policy. 51 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,993 How long does it take you to make it? I don't know. An hour? 52 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,896 Well, then, I guess I'll wake you up in about 11 hours. 53 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,298 Wake me-- 54 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,503 What the-- are you... 55 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:21,106 Dreamland... has a whole goddamn 56 00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:24,610 Nazi robot farm in the basement. 57 00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,345 In this economy! 58 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,514 Figgis: Hello? 59 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,016 Hello! Son of a-- 60 00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,518 hang on. 61 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,587 What the-- oh, for the love of cocks! 62 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:39,525 I mean, seriously, just... 63 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,361 Goddamn it. 64 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,938 hello! Can anybody hear me? 65 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,541 Man, that thing is outta control. 66 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,743 Hello! Hello! 67 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,079 Somebody! Hey! 68 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:36,982 What the-- no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 69 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:40,385 Help! My pubes! 70 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,654 My goddamn pubes are on fire! 71 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,856 All right. I guess let him out. 72 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,592 Now that second lunch is ruined. 73 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,164 Aw, man! Some of it got in my mouth. 74 00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,433 How long was I in there? 75 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,867 How should I know? 76 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:58,770 Usually dead people don't just climb out of these drawers 77 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,572 with their big bushy birds on fire, 78 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,941 so for all I know, you're that zombie 79 00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,043 that got walked with! That what? 80 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:08,347 In the movie I walked with a zombie. The zombie titular. 81 00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,681 I'm not a goddamn-- 82 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:13,452 I am lieutenant cyril figgis, LAPD, you sentient shit-sacks! 83 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:17,089 I showed you my shield! And if you'd show it to me again-- 84 00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,757 I don't-- whoever hit me took it. 85 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,293 Goddamn it! And my service weapon! 86 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,462 And yet they left you your lighter. 87 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,398 Wait. When I got pistol-whipped, i was talking to an English guy. 88 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,699 We don't have an English guy. 89 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,735 I-- you have to remember me! 90 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:33,038 Uh, actually, I don't. And also, I don't, so-- 91 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,208 oh, you think you're pretty smart, huh? I mean, smart enough to know 92 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,710 you cut a finger off one of my cadavers-- which, ew. 93 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:42,881 And also gross abuse of a corpse, which is punishable by-- 94 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,417 I know all about gross abuse of a corpse! 95 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,720 Yeah, that's kind of my whole point. 96 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,423 As the lord our god himself is my witness, 97 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,226 upon the conclusion of my current business, 98 00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:56,495 I shall return to this place 99 00:04:56,497 --> 00:05:00,666 and visit upon you an apocalypse of such terror and destruction 100 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:04,903 that you will rue-- rue the very fact of your miserable birth! 101 00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:08,573 I'll be here. 102 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,911 I actually won't. Well, unless it's before Friday. 103 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:15,414 Oh, yeah, that's right. What's it you're leaving to do? 104 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:18,450 Lumber inspector. Huh. Didn't know that was a thing. 105 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,419 That's because you have no vision. 106 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:23,322 This, Danny-- This is your world. 107 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,490 Yeah. 108 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,427 Please, figgis, for your sake, tell me you're joking. 109 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,761 It's just a temporary setback, 110 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,197 but I am going to fix this, trust me. 111 00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,599 That's the whole point. I don't trust you. 112 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:38,503 I wouldn't trust you to fix potato Salad! 113 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,839 You're probably one of those assholes 114 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,708 who puts relish in it! 115 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:46,945 I mean, first my whores, and now Charlotte vandertunt? 116 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,314 How many women can one man lose? 117 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,016 Oh, plus your wife. Would you-- 118 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,051 oh! Mr. trexler, 119 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:56,722 I swear to god that I will get you your million dollars. 120 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,623 You know, you say that with the confidence of a man 121 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,158 who has a lot longer to live. 122 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,626 I-- 123 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,663 How'd that go? 124 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,298 How do you think it went? 125 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,666 Not great. Ya think? 126 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:08,800 Yes. 127 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,335 Because while I was getting pistol-whipped 128 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,037 and shoved in a drawer at the morgue-- 129 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,973 losing precious time, not to mention my gun and my shield-- 130 00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:17,309 you were supposed to find Charlotte vandertunt. 131 00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:18,643 And, so, how did that go? 132 00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,246 Also not great. But more importantly-- 133 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,215 because we know Archer broke her out of jail, 134 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:25,083 and we know he's working for mother, so-- 135 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,351 son of a bitch! 136 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,320 I bet she's gonna try to ransom Charlotte! 137 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:30,889 Wait. Shut up. "More importantly" what? 138 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,325 What is that smell? What is what smell? 139 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:37,062 That. Smells like cuy. 140 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,564 What the hell is cuy? Roasted Guinea pig. 141 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,033 Huh? They blowtorch the hair right off of it. 142 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:44,169 It's like the national dish of Peru. Did-- 143 00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,405 or is it Ecuador? Did you-- 144 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,407 which one's the native habitat of the spectacled bear? 145 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:51,042 Did-- wait. Shit. They both are. 146 00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,612 Hang on. Uh, hey, let me see your service weapon. 147 00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,347 Huh? Yeah. Here. 148 00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:57,849 Now, Peru has the pisco sour, but-- 149 00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,217 did you find Charlotte vandertunt? 150 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,752 Tell me before, so help me god, 151 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,422 I put a bullet in your big fat stupid face! 152 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:06,391 First of all, that's just hurtful. 153 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,593 And second of all, 154 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:12,264 it doesn't matter where she is, just where the ransom money is. 155 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,599 Hmm. Presumably with the vandertunts. 156 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,701 So all we gotta do is-- 157 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:19,104 insinuate ourselves into this whole deal, 158 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,572 like we're there to help, 159 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,374 and steal the ransom during the exchange. 160 00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:23,742 Yeah. It's a piece of piss. 161 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:25,410 Now, aren't you glad you didn't shoot me? 162 00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:26,545 For now. 163 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,546 Although I'm sure at some point 164 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,613 I'll regret that decision, so-- 165 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,248 why is there blood on the barrel? 166 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,885 What? No. That's, um, hot sauce. 167 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,388 Well, why is there hot sauce on it? 168 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,623 With a couple of hairs stuck in it. 169 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,892 Oh, sweet Christ. What? 170 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,561 Did you beat a Guinea pig to death 171 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:43,762 with your service weapon, 172 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,964 slather the thing in hot sauce and eat it? 173 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,232 Yep! 174 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,134 Well, I officially regret my decision. 175 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,103 Man, I almost always do. 176 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:59,311 Hey! Who keeps leaving the goddamn seat down? 177 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,246 Looking your way, huizhong. 178 00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,321 Poovey: So, how are we gonna play this with the vandertunts? 179 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,523 We're gonna play it that you keep your fat mouth shut-- 180 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,992 again, hurtful. ...While I explain to them 181 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,461 that the cavalry is finally here. 182 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,464 Yes, it's right here, as per your demand-- 183 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,700 a million dollars in unmarked, untraceable 184 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,768 20, 50, and 100-dollar bills. 185 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,437 Okay. Good. Good. That's-- 186 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,672 sheer idiocy on your part, frankly. 187 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,674 I'm sorry? As well you should be. 188 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,676 What do you-- i mean, including the bag, 189 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,345 which, by the way, was a gift, 190 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,847 the whole thing must weigh a good 50 pounds. 191 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,350 Well, too bad. I-- i mean, an envelope 192 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,386 with a hundred sammies would've been so much easier. 193 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,021 A hundred what? Sammies. 194 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,456 After salmon p. Chase, 195 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,191 the man on the $10,000 bill? 196 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,026 Well, what the hell am I supposed to do 197 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,961 with a $10,000 bill? 198 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:52,330 Well, what does one do with a twenty-dollar bill? 199 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,232 Buy a single orange? That's-- 200 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,635 just make sure the money's at the drop by midnight, 201 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:59,337 and that you follow my instructions to the letter. 202 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,340 Mmm, like a reverse scavenger hunt. 203 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,675 And once we have the money, 204 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,677 we'll arrange for the return of your sister. 205 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:08,413 Oh, right. Yes. Sorry. I forgot that part. 206 00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,715 And that's a firm firm? Yes. 207 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,218 And no cops, at all, anywhere. 208 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,253 No police. Also a firm firm? 209 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:18,557 Yes, it's a firm firm! Wait. Why? 210 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,559 What? I-- I don't know. No reason. 211 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,727 I'm sorry. This is my first kidnapping. 212 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,163 Well-- Or is it? 213 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,332 Jesus Christ. 214 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:30,168 Ciao! Alrighty, then. 215 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,237 Who's for cuy? 216 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,508 Yes, 217 00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,710 that's probably why you smell burnt hair. 218 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,712 But don't judge them by their looks. 219 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,914 They may seem appalling... 220 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,017 But trust me, they're quite delicious. 221 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,386 Yes, delicious. 222 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,755 Like all taboos. 223 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,791 You're frickin' weird. 224 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,393 I mean, just weird. Lana: What is? 225 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,862 Lana! Uh, I mean, miss Kane. 226 00:09:57,864 --> 00:10:00,398 I-- I mean, uh-- "Lana" is fine. 227 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,233 I'll say. You'll say what? 228 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:05,036 Nothing. Ah. A man of mystery. 229 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,539 Well, you know, mainly in the sense 230 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:10,108 that I try to solve them, you know-- 231 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,743 on your own. Well, yeah. 232 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,945 I mean, since my partner died. 233 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,581 Which I actually should really-- i meant without the police. 234 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,816 Without the who now? 235 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,385 "No cops, at all, anywhere," 236 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,420 I believe were your exact words. 237 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,623 My exac-- were you eavesdropping on me? 238 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,057 Yes. 239 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,059 Did you have a follow-up to that, or-- 240 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,095 no, actually, because you caught me 241 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,097 totally off guard by not denying it. 242 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,099 But how much of that did you hear? 243 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,901 Depends. What's your angle, shamus? 244 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,938 Well, uh, probably about 30 degrees. 245 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,674 Gillette: Diminishing returns, cliff! 246 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,776 But I'm not working any angle, so-- 247 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:47,278 so, then, you wouldn't need any help? 248 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,615 No, i-- why are you so interested? No reason. 249 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:53,618 Just thought maybe you could make it worth my while. 250 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,620 Well, i-- I can't, so-- 251 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:58,356 what if I made it worth your while? 252 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,358 Umm... 253 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,494 No. 254 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,629 No what? Wait. What? 255 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,765 What? At the club, i said, "umm," 256 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:07,966 and then I was gonna say, "no," 257 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,467 but then you didn't let me finish. 258 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,871 Oh, you finished, all right. Yeah. Maybe try woolite? 259 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,006 Which, by the way, makes one of us! 260 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,043 Oh, please! Wait. Seriously? Get out. 261 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,311 'Cause I'd be happy to, you know-- 262 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:24,049 get-- ...St-stay and watch you finish. 263 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,151 ...out! Jesus! 264 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,253 Look, if you-- ehh! 265 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:31,523 Great. 266 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,058 Now I have no liquor. 267 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:36,161 Just a big fat pair of blue lady-balls. 268 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,363 Torrent downloaded from RARBG 269 00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:44,235 That's my mouth! 270 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,371 - Get outta here! - Oh! 271 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,374 If I wanted your asshole on my mouth, 272 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,009 I'd do it while you were asleep! 273 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,344 Which we've never talked about, but-- ow! 274 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,980 My face! How long was I out? 275 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,982 Oh, that helps. 276 00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:00,919 Man, I gotta warn trexler Dutch wants to kill him. 277 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,922 Mainly because trexler hasn't paid me for my work yet, 278 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,557 but also because-- 279 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,027 say what you will about der robotik ubermenschen. 280 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,495 Sure can punch good. 281 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:14,065 I'm sorry, darlin', 282 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,500 but you're gonna have to repeat that. 283 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,335 I said, 284 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,337 "i had a little towel, 285 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,506 "but I lost it walking here, 286 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,342 so I need your clothes, your boots, 287 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,844 and your motorcycle." 288 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,513 Oh, is that all? 289 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,181 Yeah. That oughta do it. 290 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:33,084 You, uh, sure you don't need me to, uh, check your oil? 291 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:38,056 Oh, okay. And by that remark, 292 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,892 I assume you're referring either to my robotic limbs 293 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,460 or offering to plunge your finger, 294 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,529 and/or penis, into my anus. 295 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,365 Ohhh! I'll plunge my fist into your-- 296 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,100 Were you gonna say "anus"? 297 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,270 'Cause a finger's one thing. 298 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,972 But a whole fist? Aaahhh! 299 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:56,141 That's like... 300 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,876 I just never understood that. 301 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,647 And I'm not trying to judge. 302 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:05,917 But it's like, at some point, you gotta question your choices. 303 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,621 Whoo! 304 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:18,163 - I don't know. - If it's two consenting adults, 305 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,831 I'm like, "live and let live." 306 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,833 But if you want me to let you live, chief, 307 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,401 I'm gonna need those keys. 308 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,270 Here. Take 'em! 309 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,938 Hey, thanks. 310 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,607 Oh, and if turns out you lose that arm, 311 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,242 just give me a call. 312 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,244 I got a guy. 313 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,612 He what? 314 00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:37,282 Uh, is going to kill you. Was I not-- 315 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,117 what are you talking about? 316 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,618 Why? Stop it! 317 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,620 What, I should be calm when you tell me 318 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:45,123 a goddamn robot wants to kill me? 319 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,492 No, not you. Wha-- wha-- then who? 320 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,328 No. Sorry. You. He wants to kill you. 321 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,263 The good news is, without my help, 322 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,299 he'll be dead in... Ten hours. 323 00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,534 Okay, well, my house is a fortress. 324 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,670 I got a ton of guys. We'll outlast him. 325 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,839 Yeah. You say that... 326 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,276 Feels pretty good, huh, Dutch? 327 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:09,581 Yes, it does, other Dutch. Yes, it does. 328 00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:17,689 Goddamn it. 329 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,562 Mother: I think you're confused, doll. 330 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,865 Charlotte: I am not in the least confused! 331 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,400 I don't care if my family does pay the ransom. 332 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,735 I'm not going back there! 333 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,871 I meant you were confused about me caring 334 00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,572 what you did after the payoff. 335 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,007 You're not planning to blindfold me 336 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,242 and hide me in a bomb shelter 337 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:39,244 with limited oxygen and send my family cryptic notes 338 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,579 about how to find me in a race against time for my life? 339 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:45,683 Who are you, collective pseudonym Carolyn keene? 340 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,086 What? Who would go to all that trouble? 341 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,988 Johann schmidt, aka the red skull, 342 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,689 in my Nazi kidnap-slash-rape fantasy. 343 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,224 Ew! 344 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,993 Right? Shut up. 345 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,095 Look, tonight your brother is going to drop 346 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,764 the ransom money at the Griffith observatory. 347 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:02,834 Archer is going to retrieve it and bring it to me. 348 00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:04,569 And if nobody screws up, 349 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,372 once I have the money, you're free to go. 350 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,440 Well, but that's my whole point. 351 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:12,277 Go where? 352 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,445 Who knows? Maybe a handsome 353 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,048 young Nazi scientist will take you in. 354 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,218 Do what now? What the hell are you doing? 355 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,753 Just filling the coolers with ice. 356 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,923 You know, normal bartendery stuff. 357 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,592 Oh, so suddenly you work here again? I-- 358 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,427 what happened to your face? I-- 359 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,462 did someone catch you snooping? 360 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:35,199 Uh, no, I walked into a door... Repeatedly. 361 00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,201 Oh, yeah. My mother used to do that. 362 00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:39,904 Well, you better not have been snooping on me, mister. 363 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:43,908 Are you-- pfft! Come on! I wouldn't do that! 364 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:47,645 So, Archer's the bagman for a kidnapping, huh? 365 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:50,448 Okay, then. 366 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,117 Because you know what happens to snoops. 367 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:56,154 They get... poops? What? 368 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,889 Cecil: It's just that the kidnappers 369 00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:01,426 were extremely clear on that point. 370 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,594 No police, at all, anywhere. 371 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,097 Well, of course they're gonna say that, but trust me-- 372 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,166 I trust him. He brought me a finger. 373 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,836 Only you. What? 374 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:14,939 All I had today was some cuy. 375 00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,507 Oh, and congee. 376 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,910 Oh, and a bunch of salted duck eggs. 377 00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,079 Look, we'll be right behind you, 378 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,780 so just follow their instructions, 379 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,782 drop the ransom off, and with a bit of luck, 380 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,818 we'll get it and the kidnappers. 381 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,621 Okay, but I have a bad feeling about this. 382 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,357 Well, I don't care. 383 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,359 Hmm. Fair enough. 384 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:41,265 Do you wanna go? 385 00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:45,470 Archer: I thought I made it pretty clear to the little weirdo 386 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,605 that I didn't wanna see any cops near the drop. 387 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,341 I guess you can't blame the guy for trying. 388 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,378 Plus, it's not like I can't handle figgis and poovey. 389 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,546 But I may have to wait them out. 390 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,815 Whatever. You paid for an hour. 391 00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,050 Well, that's my whole point. 392 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,019 It may take a lot longer than an hour-- 393 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,021 well-- and I'm not paying you any extra. 394 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,456 What? But feel free to hike the five miles 395 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,358 back to sunset in those heels. 396 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:12,397 What the hell? Who brings a hooker? 397 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:20,238 - Cecil : Okay. - Here's the topiary garden. 398 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,474 Which I wish I could buy it so i could burn it to the ground. 399 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,210 Topiary. My god, what rubbish. 400 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,513 Shrubbish! 401 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:31,182 So freakin' weird. Cecil: Hmm. 402 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,584 Well, I suppose that looks like a mushroom. 403 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:36,421 What? It's clearly a mushroom. 404 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,189 Well, then... 405 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,526 All right, then. I'm off. 406 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:46,764 Alone, as I arrived, with no police anywhere! 407 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:47,932 I mean... 408 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,033 Seriously. 409 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:52,203 Okay, Archer. It's your move. 410 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,038 Damn it. I gotta at least tip her. 411 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,441 This is definitely gonna take longer than an hour. 412 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,076 Man, I wish I had a-- 413 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,045 smoke grenade? What the shit? 414 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,714 Poovey: Goddamn it! 415 00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,049 Figgis: Will you come on? 416 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,118 No, no, no, no, no, no! 417 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,887 God...Damn it! 418 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:14,192 I guess it's not his move. 419 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,394 Jesus! 420 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,029 Sorry. Here. Take these. 421 00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:19,430 What the hell are these for? 422 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,065 Um, I guess, parting gifts? 423 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,534 What? I don't know. Maybe you can sell 'em or whatever. 424 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,571 Because, listen, this car chase is gonna get a little crazy-- 425 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,806 well, then, let me out! Stop the car! 426 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,775 Let me finish! Because my point is, 427 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,143 I don't really have time to stop. 428 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,412 But I'm not gonna have that, 429 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,047 so I'm gonna need you to kind of jump out. 430 00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:38,616 Are you nuts? I'll slow down a little, obviously, 431 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,718 but when you hit the ground, 432 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,286 You're gonna wanna kind of roll. 433 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,724 Yeah, just like that! Good instincts! 434 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:50,595 Asshole! 435 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,497 Seriously! 436 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,165 Figgis: They're gaining on us! Step on it! 437 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,601 Trust me, it's totally stepped on! 438 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,769 Oh, son of a... 439 00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,004 Oh, shit. 440 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:05,977 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! 441 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,081 Goddamn it. 442 00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:11,482 Did ya get 'em? 443 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,117 No. I got somebody, though. 444 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,286 Wow. Good policin'. 445 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,687 Shut up. 446 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:28,966 Son of a... 447 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,835 No, no, no, no, no, no! 448 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:40,711 Oh, goddamn it. 449 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,284 So... 450 00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:49,854 How was your evening? 451 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,456 Uh, not g-great. 452 00:19:56,396 --> 00:20:00,731 And I assume about to get worse. 453 00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:34,065 man: Made in Georgia. 454 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,133 Captioned by media access group at wgbh 455 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:42,406 man: Dateline, Los Angeles, California, 1947. 456 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,909 Forecast: It's going to rain... 457 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,510 Lead! 458 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:53,117 So you're just-- Straight-up crazy. 459 00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,454 Archer: Dreamland. All new wednesdays at 10:00. 460 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,989 On fxx. 461 00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:02,760 It's gonna take an hour at this time. 462 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,363 Wow, look at Stan's yard. 463 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,531 Someone's been busy. 464 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,701 Clearly not in ours. Maybe Henry can do some work today. 465 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,703 Yeah. 466 00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:15,139 I forget your back is always bad this time of year. 467 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,874 Only when there are leaves-- 468 00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:23,180 when did you wash this last? 469 00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:25,783 The Americans. 470 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,020 All new Tuesdays at 10:00. On fx. 471 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:45,036 Announcer: Fargo. All-new wednesdays at 10:00 on fx. 472 00:21:53,178 --> 00:21:56,247 Man: I'm getting paid to learn how to run a business, 473 00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:58,949 do things when I want and how I want, 474 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:02,119 get paid more than some office job. 475 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,754 I got freedom. 476 00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:07,692 Freedom from all of it. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net