1 00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:02,909 Where in the...? 2 00:00:02,911 --> 00:00:07,446 No, I'm sure it was... I swear, if that girl... 3 00:00:07,448 --> 00:00:10,516 - Lanaluakalani! - Yes, Father? 4 00:00:10,518 --> 00:00:12,985 Come in here this very instant! 5 00:00:12,987 --> 00:00:16,055 I tell you, this is the last straw! 6 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,457 - Pff. - Do not "pff" me, woman! 7 00:00:18,459 --> 00:00:21,160 That child of yours has gone too far! 8 00:00:21,162 --> 00:00:24,596 I tell you, this time, I shall really punish her! 9 00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:28,667 - You called, Father? - Where is it?! 10 00:00:28,669 --> 00:00:32,186 - Where is what? - The map... to the sacred tupua! 11 00:00:32,221 --> 00:00:35,607 - Tupua? - Oka atua, do not play dumb with me! 12 00:00:35,609 --> 00:00:39,010 You know exactly what I am talking about, child. 13 00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:43,348 - Now where is it?! - I'm sure I don't know. 14 00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:46,217 And why would anyone want a map to some moldy old statue? 15 00:00:46,219 --> 00:00:48,186 Because of its magical powers. 16 00:00:48,188 --> 00:00:51,907 - Oh, that's just a silly native legend. - Do you even...? 17 00:00:51,908 --> 00:00:54,792 - We're natives! - You know what I mean. 18 00:00:54,794 --> 00:00:59,129 I know what you think I mean. I mean I... 19 00:00:59,131 --> 00:01:01,298 You know what I think?! 20 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,669 I think you made some sort of deal with this ese Mai fafo, 21 00:01:04,671 --> 00:01:06,855 - the German. - Whaaat?! 22 00:01:06,856 --> 00:01:11,476 Yes. And I think, in your profound ignorance 23 00:01:11,478 --> 00:01:13,510 of the awesome power of the tupua, 24 00:01:13,512 --> 00:01:16,646 - you gave him the map! - Whaaat? 25 00:01:16,648 --> 00:01:19,816 In exchange for enough money to go live among the papalangi 26 00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:24,754 in New York City again and open another... What was it? 27 00:01:24,756 --> 00:01:26,756 - Failed art gallery? - Oh, come on! 28 00:01:26,758 --> 00:01:29,460 There was this little thing called The Great Depression! 29 00:01:29,462 --> 00:01:31,795 Well, and you don't know anything about art. 30 00:01:31,797 --> 00:01:35,198 - I do so! - Oh, please. 31 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,134 You thought the Dutch Masters were just a kind of cigar. 32 00:01:38,136 --> 00:01:40,871 I told you that in confidence! 33 00:01:40,873 --> 00:01:42,472 You have raised a fool! 34 00:01:42,474 --> 00:01:44,808 Because the tupua is a legend for a reason, 35 00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:47,443 and you have no idea of its power! 36 00:01:47,445 --> 00:01:51,247 And once that German snake finds it, he will be long gone, 37 00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,816 so I hope at least he paid you in advance! 38 00:01:53,818 --> 00:01:57,166 Excuse me. 39 00:01:58,689 --> 00:02:01,857 Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! 40 00:02:01,859 --> 00:02:04,393 Well, if that sneaky little schnitzel thinks 41 00:02:04,395 --> 00:02:06,428 he's gonna flimflam Princess Lanaluakalani, 42 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,130 he has got another thing... 43 00:02:16,507 --> 00:02:18,306 Are you out of your mind?! 44 00:02:18,308 --> 00:02:21,543 - Sacrebleu! - Oh! 45 00:02:21,545 --> 00:02:24,212 What the hell is the matter with you people? 46 00:02:24,214 --> 00:02:27,315 Ow! Well, I, for one, am starving, 47 00:02:27,317 --> 00:02:31,353 so please tell me you have oysters. 48 00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:07,818 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 49 00:03:08,409 --> 00:03:10,743 9x06 - Some Remarks on Cannibalism 50 00:03:10,745 --> 00:03:13,412 Who the hell taught you how to drive?! 51 00:03:13,414 --> 00:03:16,114 Me? Who the hell taught him how to drive? 52 00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:18,884 Oh, for the... 53 00:03:18,886 --> 00:03:21,687 And where the hell were you going in such a hurry? 54 00:03:21,689 --> 00:03:24,823 None of your beeswax. Wait. Where were you going? 55 00:03:24,825 --> 00:03:26,892 - None of... - We're searching for a sacred idol. 56 00:03:26,894 --> 00:03:28,327 - What?! - Goddamn it! 57 00:03:28,329 --> 00:03:31,848 - No, you can' I... forbid it! - Excuse me? 58 00:03:31,849 --> 00:03:34,900 I forbid it. As princess, I forbid the looting 59 00:03:34,902 --> 00:03:39,938 of Mitimotu's cultural artifacts by you, you... Europeans! 60 00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:42,473 - Code for "white." - And what of it? 61 00:03:42,475 --> 00:03:44,409 And what color are your Germans, huh? 62 00:03:44,411 --> 00:03:47,012 Damn it, the Germans. 63 00:03:47,014 --> 00:03:48,946 - Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey. Whoa, whoa. 64 00:03:48,948 --> 00:03:52,116 - Where do you think you're going? - To beat the Germans to the idol. 65 00:03:52,118 --> 00:03:54,319 No, we are gonna beat Archer to it. 66 00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:57,355 - Archer?! - Yes. So get in line, sister. 67 00:03:57,357 --> 00:03:59,457 Oh-ho, I'm at the head of it. 68 00:03:59,459 --> 00:04:02,193 Why you little... Do something! 69 00:04:02,195 --> 00:04:05,129 I, uh... commandeer this véhicule! 70 00:04:05,131 --> 00:04:07,998 You what? 71 00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:19,936 Woohoo! 72 00:04:19,938 --> 00:04:22,973 All right! Enough fun. Now back to business. 73 00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:24,908 Ja, shooting those damn cannibals. 74 00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:27,944 - Remember, you promised we could. - Don't worry, men. 75 00:04:27,946 --> 00:04:30,847 We will kill anyone who dares to interfere with our mission 76 00:04:30,849 --> 00:04:33,449 to bring the ultimate power to the Fatherland! 77 00:04:33,451 --> 00:04:35,051 Yeah! 78 00:04:35,053 --> 00:04:37,587 ♪ It's a long way to Tipperary ♪ 79 00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:40,756 ♪ It's a long way to go... ♪ 80 00:04:58,843 --> 00:05:02,845 All right, already. Come on! We don't need all this junk. 81 00:05:02,847 --> 00:05:06,235 - That crate is just gin. - And vermouth. 82 00:05:06,270 --> 00:05:07,249 Now move it, big boy. 83 00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:10,740 We can't let Sterling beat us to that damn idol. 84 00:05:11,321 --> 00:05:14,022 - That won't be too hard. - Goddamn it, bird! 85 00:05:14,024 --> 00:05:15,557 Because he's stuck in quicksand! 86 00:05:15,559 --> 00:05:16,624 - What? Where? - Really?! 87 00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:18,060 Quicksand. Pam, too. 88 00:05:18,062 --> 00:05:20,695 And I don't know how much time they have left. 89 00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:22,497 - Before...? - They die! 90 00:05:22,499 --> 00:05:25,133 Do you think it's enough time for us to toodle on over, 91 00:05:25,135 --> 00:05:28,364 grab the idol, and then come back and save them? 92 00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:30,805 - No! - Don't get chippy with me, bird! 93 00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:32,740 I'm with her. First we secure the idol, 94 00:05:32,742 --> 00:05:35,043 - and then we can rescue them. - Exactly. 95 00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:37,046 For the love of God, woman! 96 00:05:37,047 --> 00:05:41,449 - Your son... is going... to die! - Oh, all right. 97 00:05:41,451 --> 00:05:43,985 Take us to the damn quicksand. 98 00:05:43,987 --> 00:05:46,753 But I'll bet you dollars to donuts, they've already escaped, 99 00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:50,198 found the idol, and are just yucking it up! 100 00:05:56,935 --> 00:05:59,336 Don't! Don't say a word. 101 00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,604 I'm mad enough at you as it is. 102 00:06:05,343 --> 00:06:08,879 I was gonna say I wonder what I'm gonna taste like. 103 00:06:18,491 --> 00:06:21,191 'Cause this whole crazy thing's kind of got me thinking 104 00:06:21,193 --> 00:06:24,762 about if I'd ever, you know, like, eat a person. 105 00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:26,363 And not in a starvation-type deal, 106 00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,098 like the Donner Party or whatever. 107 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,466 That goes without saying. 108 00:06:29,468 --> 00:06:31,768 Your fat white ass is pioneer jerky. 109 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:34,771 I'm talking about where you voluntarily eat a guy 110 00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:37,974 like he's just damn dinner. Or a woman. 111 00:06:37,976 --> 00:06:40,344 Ooh, or a teenage girl. 112 00:06:40,346 --> 00:06:41,978 But I wouldn't want her to get killed 113 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,780 just so I could eat her, so maybe... I don't know. 114 00:06:43,782 --> 00:06:46,850 What if it was one of these native girl's confirmation or whatever? 115 00:06:46,852 --> 00:06:49,185 So she gets a ceremonial bath, scrubbed head to toe, 116 00:06:49,187 --> 00:06:51,320 and then her whole body gets shaved. 117 00:06:51,322 --> 00:06:53,189 - Why...? - Shut up. Let me finish. 118 00:06:53,191 --> 00:06:55,191 But then, on the way to the ceremony, 119 00:06:55,193 --> 00:06:57,060 this tender, hairless young thing 120 00:06:57,062 --> 00:06:59,328 has a massive yet painless brain aneurysm 121 00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:02,032 and falls into a vat of braising liquid. 122 00:07:02,034 --> 00:07:04,795 - Why the hell would... - Wow! 123 00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:05,334 - What the...? - Huh? 124 00:07:05,336 --> 00:07:07,403 You just described, almost word for word, 125 00:07:07,405 --> 00:07:10,406 what's gonna happen to you guys over the next two days. 126 00:07:10,408 --> 00:07:12,408 I mean, is that goose bumps or what? 127 00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:14,410 - Who...? - E-Except for the aneurysm. 128 00:07:14,412 --> 00:07:17,149 - Who the hell are you? - I'm Noah. 129 00:07:17,184 --> 00:07:20,348 - Besso ekla baht! - Ek eklan oki. 130 00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:24,453 - Wait, you speak their language? - Uh, yeah, I should hope so. 131 00:07:24,455 --> 00:07:26,889 I mean, I've been here almost four years now, so... 132 00:07:26,891 --> 00:07:29,491 Four years?! So there's no way to escape? 133 00:07:29,493 --> 00:07:32,895 Um... Well, I suppose, I... Well, there's probably... 134 00:07:32,897 --> 00:07:34,496 Oh, gosh. I mean... 135 00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:36,298 - I don't know. - What do you mean 136 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,300 you don't know, idiot? Haven't you even tried? 137 00:07:38,302 --> 00:07:40,835 Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not their captive. 138 00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:43,838 I'm doing my doctoral dissertation on the Mua Mua. 139 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,173 I'm an anthropologist. 140 00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:47,842 - Wh... A spider scientist? - What? 141 00:07:47,844 --> 00:07:49,177 That's an arachnologist. 142 00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:51,179 - Like you would know! - No, no, it is. 143 00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:54,315 - An anthropologist... - I know what an anthropologist is. 144 00:07:54,317 --> 00:07:56,050 - No, he doesn't. - Nobody does! 145 00:07:56,052 --> 00:07:59,921 An anthropologist studies human beings and their societies and cultures. 146 00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:01,522 The Mua Mua, for example... 147 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:04,592 - Zakila gizona. - Ek ezan oki! 148 00:08:04,594 --> 00:08:06,260 ...are assholes. 149 00:08:06,262 --> 00:08:08,129 Yeah, right? So then how 'bout it, man? 150 00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:09,863 - Help us escape. - Yeah. 151 00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:11,599 No, no, no, no, no, no. I couldn't do that. 152 00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:14,335 I-I'm here to document. I can't interfere. 153 00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:17,338 - What?! - Even after they ate your goddamn arm? 154 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:19,273 Oh. Yeah. 155 00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:21,609 - Man, that was really... - Eggelak! 156 00:08:21,611 --> 00:08:23,210 Dongay emakume! 157 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:27,213 - What is she saying? - That I taste like chicken. 158 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:31,484 Which, to them, is, like, the worst. 159 00:08:31,486 --> 00:08:33,525 - What the...? - What's that? 160 00:08:33,543 --> 00:08:36,183 Oh. Uh, okay. Uh, well, I got to go. 161 00:08:36,218 --> 00:08:38,559 Uh, maybe I'll see you guys later or maybe not. Okay, bye! 162 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,261 - Wait, what was that?! - Nothing! 163 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,597 I think it was something. 164 00:08:44,599 --> 00:08:46,399 - No shit. - Yep. 165 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,401 Well, if we get out of this alive somehow, 166 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:51,137 we should definitely open a detective agency. 167 00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:53,406 Ooh! 168 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:56,888 Aw, damn, but we're not getting out alive, huh? 169 00:08:56,923 --> 00:08:57,977 Nope. 170 00:08:57,979 --> 00:09:00,646 Well? Where the hell are they, bird? 171 00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:04,249 I-I don't get it. They were right here, up to their necks in it! 172 00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:07,252 - I ought to wring your neck! - This was all just a ruse. 173 00:09:07,254 --> 00:09:09,168 - What? A ruse? - Oh, come on. 174 00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:10,656 - A ruse? - He set me up! 175 00:09:10,658 --> 00:09:13,358 This mite-riddled bird's just stalling us 176 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,460 so that Sterling can get to the idol first. 177 00:09:15,462 --> 00:09:16,562 - Damn it, bird! - Seriously? 178 00:09:16,564 --> 00:09:19,064 No! Whoa! First of all, I am... 179 00:09:19,066 --> 00:09:23,602 almost mite-free. And, B, I swear, they were right here. 180 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,604 Oh, go eat worms. Come on, Reynaud, 181 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,606 we can still beat him if we hurry. 182 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:31,576 Look, there's boot prints coming up out of the quicksand. 183 00:09:31,578 --> 00:09:33,211 - Really? - No! - Ah, yes! 184 00:09:33,213 --> 00:09:35,880 And here's another set of boot prints. 185 00:09:35,882 --> 00:09:37,215 And over there, there... 186 00:09:37,217 --> 00:09:39,918 there's all these different sets of bare footprints. 187 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,253 Pretty muscular, by the looks of them. 188 00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:44,189 - Muscular? - And here, 189 00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:48,392 this trail is two barefoot men, carrying a load between them, 190 00:09:48,394 --> 00:09:50,094 probably on, like, a pole or something. 191 00:09:50,096 --> 00:09:51,929 See, they're, like, six feet apart. 192 00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:54,298 - That's about the size of a man. - Or a party sub. 193 00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,400 - Look, can we just... - Shut up! 194 00:09:56,402 --> 00:09:59,437 - Do you think it was...? - Yes! It was clearly Archer. 195 00:09:59,439 --> 00:10:02,324 And then here's a trail of four men carrying a much, 196 00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:05,175 - much heavier load. - Ooh, which I bet was Pam. 197 00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:08,545 Mon dieu, can it be Les cannibales? 198 00:10:08,547 --> 00:10:10,480 Oh, my God. 199 00:10:10,482 --> 00:10:12,349 Well, but since they're out of the quicksand... 200 00:10:12,351 --> 00:10:16,220 And about to be eaten! We have to follow this trail and rescue them. 201 00:10:16,222 --> 00:10:18,155 No. No, no. Uh-uh. 202 00:10:18,157 --> 00:10:20,390 As your princess, I demand we get the idol first. 203 00:10:20,392 --> 00:10:22,325 As whose princess? 204 00:10:22,327 --> 00:10:23,360 - Yeah, right? - Exactement! 205 00:10:23,362 --> 00:10:25,528 Et tu, Doudou? 206 00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:29,683 So we're just gonna go gallivanting through this deadly jungle 207 00:10:29,684 --> 00:10:32,869 because this dodo says she can see a trail? 208 00:10:32,871 --> 00:10:34,971 Do you seriously not? It's so obvious. 209 00:10:34,973 --> 00:10:38,274 Then let's go. Come on, Lady Baltimore. 210 00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:45,782 Ew, look! This guy has ringworm. 211 00:10:45,944 --> 00:10:47,876 So, where do you think everybody went? 212 00:10:47,878 --> 00:10:49,412 Who knows? Probably taking a vote 213 00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:51,981 - on what sides to serve us with. - Ooh... 214 00:10:51,983 --> 00:10:53,816 But I'm not sticking around to find out. 215 00:10:53,818 --> 00:10:55,884 Well, unless you know something I don't... 216 00:10:55,886 --> 00:10:59,354 - What, besides everything? - Oh, hardy-har. 217 00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:03,158 Including, look, there's a piece of, uh, whatchamacallit. Ob-Obsidian. 218 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,127 - So? - So we can cut the ropes with it, dummy. 219 00:11:06,129 --> 00:11:09,565 If I can just scrooch down the pole, I can... 220 00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:12,067 - Get a splinter in your ass? - I'm not gonna get a... 221 00:11:14,271 --> 00:11:15,803 Goddamn it. 222 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,840 We'll see how funny... you think it is 223 00:11:18,842 --> 00:11:20,842 when I leave you here. 224 00:11:20,844 --> 00:11:22,110 Oh... 225 00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:23,945 Does that mean we're not getting married? 226 00:11:23,947 --> 00:11:25,447 You know, first of all, that was... 227 00:11:25,449 --> 00:11:28,883 - I just wanted you to die happy. - Ha! 228 00:11:28,885 --> 00:11:30,585 And, two, I'm about this close 229 00:11:30,587 --> 00:11:32,553 to getting a new goddamn sidekick. 230 00:11:32,555 --> 00:11:36,190 - How is this Crackers's fault? - Wha... Not Crackers! 231 00:11:36,192 --> 00:11:38,860 - You. - You think I'm the sidekick? 232 00:11:38,992 --> 00:11:41,258 Yes, Lennie! 233 00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:44,461 - Well? - Cut me loose. 234 00:11:44,463 --> 00:11:49,600 - I will, but only because I choose to. - Well, bully for you. 235 00:11:49,602 --> 00:11:51,368 And, while you're at it, 236 00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:53,637 you can leave one hand tied behind my back. 237 00:11:53,639 --> 00:11:56,039 - Why? - So I can whip your ass fairly. 238 00:11:56,041 --> 00:11:58,375 Oh, my God, you are such a Lennie. 239 00:11:58,377 --> 00:12:00,576 Well, if we get out of this bullshit... 240 00:12:00,578 --> 00:12:04,180 If we do, it's only because I unleashed the power of obsidian. 241 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,350 You won't have old Pam to kick around anymore because... 242 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:10,720 Shh. Stop. Stop it. Stop cutting. 243 00:12:10,722 --> 00:12:12,522 What? 244 00:12:13,224 --> 00:12:17,026 - Is your dick hard? - No. 245 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:21,664 Then what... is touching... my ass? 246 00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:24,500 - Also nothing. - Oh, for the... Ew! 247 00:12:24,502 --> 00:12:27,670 - No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait. - Dude, that is a hard dick. 248 00:12:27,672 --> 00:12:31,707 - It's not that hard. - Oh, please. I bet it hasn't been that hard 249 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,876 since the time the Army checked you for a hernia. 250 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,546 - I told you that in confidence. - Yeah? Well, I ain't your priest. 251 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:40,649 Speaking of hard dicks... 252 00:12:40,651 --> 00:12:43,385 I also told you that in confidence! 254 00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:53,952 - Uh-huh. - An involuntary biological response 255 00:12:53,954 --> 00:12:55,820 to physical and visual stimuli. 256 00:12:55,822 --> 00:12:58,356 Well, then I hope to God this helps. 257 00:12:58,358 --> 00:13:01,626 - Ka-kow. - Yeah, that's... wait. 258 00:13:01,628 --> 00:13:04,662 - What's the opposite of stimuli? - That. 259 00:13:04,664 --> 00:13:08,066 It's not supposed to be sexy, it's protective. In case there's thorns. 260 00:13:08,068 --> 00:13:11,269 - Okay, Master Coconut. - Nobody gets that. 261 00:13:11,271 --> 00:13:13,937 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you think you're doing? 262 00:13:13,939 --> 00:13:15,072 Making piña coladas. 263 00:13:15,074 --> 00:13:16,874 What the hell's it look like we're doing? 264 00:13:16,876 --> 00:13:20,678 - Uhh... I genuinely don't know. - We're escaping. 265 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,281 Wait, what? No. No, you can't. I'll be punished. 266 00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:26,950 - Not if you're dead. - Well, you say that... 267 00:13:26,952 --> 00:13:28,886 Hey, buddy, no shit, she will kill you 268 00:13:28,888 --> 00:13:30,921 - like an innocent baby rabbit. - Goddamn it. 269 00:13:30,923 --> 00:13:34,691 So what's the best way out of here? 270 00:13:34,693 --> 00:13:36,894 Well, that's the thing, there isn't one now. 271 00:13:36,896 --> 00:13:40,563 The conch is telling the Mua Mua warriors to prepare for battle. 272 00:13:40,565 --> 00:13:41,865 - What, why? - Well, apparently, 273 00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:44,967 a scout saw another group of warriors headed toward the village. 274 00:13:44,969 --> 00:13:46,969 What other warriors? 275 00:13:46,971 --> 00:13:50,607 I swear to God, if those cannibals don't have a bar, 276 00:13:50,609 --> 00:13:54,544 - I may literally die. - Oh, my God, at an oyster bar. 277 00:13:54,546 --> 00:13:57,681 I can pretty much guarantee they don't have either of those things. 278 00:13:57,683 --> 00:14:00,016 Savages. 279 00:14:00,018 --> 00:14:01,684 Well, you two idiots can stick around 280 00:14:01,686 --> 00:14:03,652 to find out and then get eaten, 281 00:14:03,654 --> 00:14:05,855 but I'm gonna go find that goddamn idol. 282 00:14:05,857 --> 00:14:08,958 Wait. What idol? You mean the tupua? 283 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,028 - Whatever it's called, I... - How do you know where it is? 284 00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:13,562 We got a map. 285 00:14:13,564 --> 00:14:16,031 - Whoa. - A secret map, that is a secret! 286 00:14:16,033 --> 00:14:18,833 - Who's he gonna tell? - Oh, man. 287 00:14:18,868 --> 00:14:22,527 The tupua would be the greatest archaeological find of the-the... 288 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,507 well, probably just the past couple of years, but still. 289 00:14:25,509 --> 00:14:26,775 Still what? You're not coming. 290 00:14:26,777 --> 00:14:30,118 - Oh, come on, I-I know the jungle. - No. 291 00:14:30,153 --> 00:14:33,215 I-I can read any native petroglyphs we might find. 292 00:14:33,217 --> 00:14:35,063 - No, I said. - I know how to get past 293 00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:37,808 all the giant boulders and poison darts and stuff. 294 00:14:39,156 --> 00:14:40,688 The... do what, now? 295 00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:42,324 - Yeah, do huh? - Oh, man. 296 00:14:42,326 --> 00:14:44,826 Yeah, the legends all say the tupua is hidden 297 00:14:44,828 --> 00:14:46,694 deep inside a labyrinth of shafts and tunnels, 298 00:14:46,696 --> 00:14:49,096 just packed with deadly booby traps. 299 00:14:49,098 --> 00:14:52,099 - So... - That's why you got to know your petroglyphs. 300 00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,635 Okay, change of plans, you're coming with us. 301 00:14:54,637 --> 00:14:57,372 Yeah! Oh, wait, h-hang on. Hang on. 302 00:14:57,374 --> 00:15:01,676 I-I don't, I don't have to wear one of those, do I? 303 00:15:01,678 --> 00:15:04,379 And can we stop and rest a while? 304 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,380 I think my electrolyte levels are low. 305 00:15:06,382 --> 00:15:08,883 - Gin levels. - Also. 306 00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:11,085 No, I think we're getting close to a village or something. 307 00:15:11,087 --> 00:15:13,153 Look, there's a ton of footprints around here. 308 00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:17,324 Plus, this? 309 00:15:17,326 --> 00:15:22,763 Well, as long as we're close. 310 00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:24,998 Please, I can't leave without my dissertation. 311 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,734 - Yes, you can, now come on. - It's four years of writing. 312 00:15:27,736 --> 00:15:29,636 Plus, I had to make the paper from scratch. 313 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,140 - Ay! - Oh, shit! 314 00:15:31,175 --> 00:15:31,938 - Oh, my God! - Kekkozat? 315 00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:33,907 - What, oh, no, shh. - Kekkozat! 316 00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:35,776 - No. Shh. - Punch her in the face. 317 00:15:35,778 --> 00:15:37,210 - What? - Kekkozat! 318 00:15:37,212 --> 00:15:38,311 - Punch her in the face. - Kekkozat! 319 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,979 I can't punch an old lady in... ow! 320 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,949 - Dongay ekakume! - Whoa. 321 00:15:42,951 --> 00:15:44,650 - Yeah, not cool. - What? 322 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,585 - But you just told me to... - Lakundu! 323 00:15:46,587 --> 00:15:48,955 Lakundu! Lakundu! 324 00:15:50,858 --> 00:15:52,825 Now can we go, please? 325 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,027 But my dissertation... 326 00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:56,929 actually had kind of a weak premise. 327 00:15:56,931 --> 00:16:00,232 Ketak. Ketakalak. 328 00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,336 Batu! Batu, Batu! 329 00:16:06,607 --> 00:16:09,642 Goddamn it! Eat a dick, cannibals. 330 00:16:09,644 --> 00:16:12,044 It's funny you say that. 331 00:16:12,046 --> 00:16:14,246 - Actually... - It's a figure of speech, Noah. 332 00:16:14,248 --> 00:16:17,149 - No, let him finish. - Oh, my God. 333 00:16:17,151 --> 00:16:19,584 I was gonna say that they don't eat the penis. 334 00:16:19,586 --> 00:16:21,686 The testicles, though... 335 00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:24,222 - Nok geziak! - Lakana. 336 00:16:32,265 --> 00:16:33,932 In there. 337 00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:38,035 Schmidt! Was dauert so Lange? 338 00:16:38,037 --> 00:16:40,572 Weil mein Schwanz so Lang ist. 339 00:16:40,574 --> 00:16:41,906 Nun beeile dich! 340 00:16:41,908 --> 00:16:45,909 Ja, ja. Komm runter, Junge. 341 00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:04,895 Seriously? 342 00:17:04,897 --> 00:17:08,866 - Scheisse. - Was, hast Du auf deine Schue gepisst? 343 00:17:10,836 --> 00:17:13,136 Schmidt? 344 00:17:13,138 --> 00:17:14,905 What the hell? Why did you do that? 345 00:17:14,907 --> 00:17:16,974 - Guys? - What? He was gonna wipe them out. 346 00:17:16,976 --> 00:17:20,193 - Yeah, problem solved. - Guys. 347 00:17:20,228 --> 00:17:22,112 - What? - What?! 348 00:17:24,316 --> 00:17:28,751 - He wants us to come with him. - Gee, thanks, Noah. 349 00:17:28,753 --> 00:17:30,586 Oh, you're welcome. 350 00:17:32,524 --> 00:17:37,159 Zwei Männer, gehen und finden Schmidt. 351 00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:39,655 Eh? Zakila koko? 352 00:17:39,657 --> 00:17:42,658 He wants to know why you stuffed your genitals into a coconut. 353 00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:45,460 Because I hate this goddamn island. 354 00:17:48,236 --> 00:17:50,569 Zu Laguna Mua Mua. 355 00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:53,204 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. He says you saved their lives, 356 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,674 so now you're friends of the Mua Mua. 357 00:17:55,676 --> 00:17:57,938 Batu baruka zu zaku. 358 00:17:57,973 --> 00:18:01,173 And that together, we will kill these white devils. 359 00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:02,307 Nik andu. 360 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,883 - Uh, no offense. - None taken? 361 00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:06,551 Teko besta. 362 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,519 And then, we'll have a huge feast. 363 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,588 Ekari zim. 364 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,715 - Oh, my gosh, really? Wow. - What? 365 00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,362 Ah, well, he said even I could come. 366 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:21,814 - Do you not normally go to the feasts? - Oh, no, no. God, no. 367 00:18:21,909 --> 00:18:25,447 They're... super racist. 368 00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:31,207 Well, guess you can find out what a human being tastes like after all. 369 00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:33,710 Oh, man, and this is probably gonna sound weird, 370 00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:37,594 - but I could kind of eat. - A person? 371 00:18:37,629 --> 00:18:40,336 Not a whole person, asshole. 372 00:18:41,319 --> 00:18:44,129 But maybe, like, a drumstick? 373 00:18:46,423 --> 00:18:50,624 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~