1
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:09,217
So then he's all like, "You gotta go
before my roommate gets home."

2
00:00:09,385 --> 00:00:12,053
And I'm like, "Who cares?"
And he's like...

3
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:14,013
You're a moped.
Huh.

4
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,599
How did you know? And what's it mean?
Because...

5
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:19,477
Mopeds are fun, but you don't want
your buddies to see you riding one.

6
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:22,313
Oh.
Yeah.

7
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,566
I thought he meant I was fuel-efficient.
I only had 10 beers.

8
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,777
Forties?
No.

9
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,696
Yes. Hence the shandy.

10
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,199
My head feels like a bunch of monkeys
fighting over a bucket of marbles.

11
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:38,287
So stick that horn in your ass!

12
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,456
Nut sack.

13
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,084
And what time is it?
Well, it's 9:01, but...

14
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,919
And what time is late?

15
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,838
Technically, 9:01 also.

16
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:50,091
But I'm sure Cheryl
has a good excuse this time.

17
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,597
Right, like the time her ocelot was sick?
Well...

18
00:00:56,765 --> 00:01:01,144
Or yesterday, when she had to walk to work
because there was a midget on the train?

19
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:04,605
I think she said it was a dwarf.
And I said that was her last chance.

20
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:05,857
But...
She's fired.

21
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,818
I want her desk cleaned out
and a new secretary by lunch.

22
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,238
That's kind of more Pam's department.
Who is also late.

23
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,575
And I just can't wait to hear
that lame excuse.

24
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,203
Just get her in the damn van.

25
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,997
She's crazy fricking strong.

26
00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:23,791
Yeah, you fight
them off, Cheryl.

27
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,501
- What? Cheryl?
- Yes.

28
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:27,628
That is you. You're Cheryl.

29
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,130
What? What are you...?

30
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,799
I swear to God
I'm blind.

31
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:35,178
Come on, the boss is waiting.
We don't need her.

32
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:38,306
Because I'm just
her stupid friend.

33
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:39,766
- What?
- She's who you want.

34
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,809
She's...
Cheryl!

35
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:45,980
Yes, just keep shouting your own name!

36
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,691
What are you talking about?
I'll pray for you, Cheryl.

37
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:51,652
Goddamn it, I'm not Che...

38
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,909
That was a close one.

39
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,996
And thanks, Pam, way to drag out
a kidnapping. Now I'm late again.

40
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:05,249
Although this is a way better excuse
than the train dwarf, which...

41
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:08,294
Ugh. Ugh.

42
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:16,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

43
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,415
Kidnapped.

44
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:50,586
Like a huge, sweatery Lindbergh baby.
So it's really Pam's fault I'm late.

45
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,588
Why would anyone...
In the world.

46
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,257
- Want to kidnap Pam?

47
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:58,344
There's a teeny, tiny chance
they maybe might've thought Pam was me.

48
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,554
How?
No idea.

49
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,264
Well, even if you
weren't lying...

50
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:05,768
The train dwarf was real, and he looked
right at me with his dwarfy eyeballs.

51
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,020
Why would anyone
wanna kidnap you?

52
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,438
Because...

53
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:14,402
...my last name isn't Gimple,
like it says on my W-4.

54
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:15,611
It's Tunt.

55
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,738
Wha...
Tum again?

56
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,032
Come on, nothing?
Not the Tunts.

57
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,617
Wait, how do I
know that name?

58
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,369
Uh, ever been on a railroad?

59
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,954
Oh! Holy shit!
Yes.

60
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,497
Not a big deal,
they're everywhere.

61
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,457
Yeah.
They crisscross the nation, Lana.

62
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,918
And her great-grandfather built them all.
What?

63
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:35,298
Do you expect me to believe
you're a descendant of Cornelius Tunt?

64
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,050
Yeah, all, whatever, five Cornelii.

65
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,970
And George Washington Tunt of the...
The Tuntmore House.

66
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,055
Yes, I spent, like, every summer there...

67
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,559
...listening to my creepy great-grandmother
bitch about Abraham Lincoln.

68
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,645
Apparently, slavery
was pretty awesome.

69
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,898
Prove it.
What's to prove? It's free labor.

70
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,399
- Not that, ass.
- What?

71
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,484
Prove you're really a Tunt.

72
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,653
Um, I have a picture.

73
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,989
- You're kidding.
- Ha, ha.

74
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,075
Oh, my God. That's you.
Yes, it's me.

75
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,912
You guys, I'm kind of freaking out.
You mind if I glue up?

76
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,830
It's your house.
This is your house.

77
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,916
- And right next door, is that...?
- Yes.

78
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,918
Oh! That's the Roosevelt mansion.

79
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,419
Total shitbox. They're weird.

80
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:15,922
What the hell was that?
Ugh!

81
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,965
My stupid ocelot.

82
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,301
I've never seen an ocelot.

83
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:23,179
Cheryl, dear, I don't quite know
how to put this, but...

84
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:24,430
Holy shit.

85
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,683
You guys, look at his little spots.
How much are you...

86
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,186
Look at his tufted ears.
...worth?

87
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:33,606
Well, until Monday it was, like,
I don't know, 50 million?

88
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,108
- Uh, do what, how what?
- Hey, Carol, what's his name?

89
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,777
- Babou.
- I love it.

90
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,946
- But it should be Buyer's Remorse.
- And...

91
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,698
Stupid thing's sick all the time.

92
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:43,908
What happened Monday?

93
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:45,534
Oh, my parents were murdered.

94
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,036
Oh!
What?

95
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,372
Ha, ha. I'm kidding.
What...?

96
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:53,000
They are dead, though. The chauffeur
had a stroke and slammed into a tree.

97
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,169
Holy shit.
Funeral's probably wrapping up.

98
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,379
Why aren't you there?

99
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,340
Because you said if I was late again,
you'd fire me.

100
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:02,802
Not for your parents' funeral.
Well, I don't know all your rules.

101
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,137
Can I jump in?
Kind of curious.

102
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,723
Why do you even work at ISIS?
Why do you?

103
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,059
Ha, ha. Because I'm not worth
a billion dollars.

104
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:13,729
Yeah, me neither. I have to split it
with my stupid brother, Cecil.

105
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,816
And how much
will you be splitting?

106
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,235
It actually is a billion dollars.
Oh.

107
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,570
I am literally wet with jealousy.

108
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:25,449
Jealous of what? Being scared
of kidnappers for the rest of my life?

109
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,952
It was bad enough
when I was only worth 50 million.

110
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,579
Now it's gonna be,
like, 10 times worse and...

111
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,581
Oh, my God, I'm such a chicken.

112
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,085
I told them Pam was me.

113
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,753
Wow.
Lana, shut up.

114
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,548
First of all,
I'm sure Pam is fine.

115
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,467
Who taught you how to punch?

116
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,677
Your husband?

117
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,598
You better just ******* kill me.

118
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:53,936
And second of all, no one
is going to kidnap you on my watch.

119
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,939
You may consider ISIS
your personal bodyguard.

120
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,315
But...
For, you know.

121
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,276
- A modest retainer.
- Ah.

122
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:01,694
But...
Still shut up.

123
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,738
Oh, my God, what about Pam?

124
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,782
I don't know about Pam,
and I know even less about ocelots...

125
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,618
...but my gut tells me
you gotta get some tree branches...

126
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,246
...or a tire swing or something in there.

127
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,708
Because he is desperate for stuff
to play with. What are we doing?

128
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,502
We're taking Cheryl back to ISIS
and locking it down...

129
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:21,630
...until we catch
those dastardly kidnappers.

130
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,591
Because we're all she has now.

131
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:28,262
On the way, we gotta stop at a toy store
and get him a stuffed animal. Something.

132
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,226
It's like Meowschwitz in there.

133
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,323
Mm-hm.

134
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:48,991
Half a billion?

135
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,160
With a B?
Followed by an "illion."

136
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,328
Well, that little...

137
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:54,955
She owes me $3700.
For what?

138
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,540
What?

139
00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:58,542
Ah.
Nothing.

140
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,211
What are we doing?
Locking down ISIS.

141
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,797
Once the kidnappers realize
they've got the wrong idiot...

142
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,091
...they're gonna come back
for the right one.

143
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,093
So here. All hands on deck.

144
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,970
Cool. Ha, ha.

145
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,349
Safety's off, Barn.

146
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:17,520
And trust me dear, this vault is
the safest place in the entire building.

147
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,439
Wait, how much are you gonna charge
for ISIS to protect me?

148
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,358
Well, that's based
on my expenses.

149
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:25,653
Plus an administrative fee,
a small contingency fee...

150
00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:27,196
...few odds and ends.

151
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,366
You're gonna get Pam back, right?
After you sign that contract.

152
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,284
Okay, no.
But...

153
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,036
First, get Pam back.
But...

154
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:37,957
And bring me some stuff to do.
It's crazy, stupid boring in here.

155
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,376
Well, now you know
how Babou feels.

156
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,211
Corpuscular?

157
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,548
- Goddamn it, Cyril!
- Sorry.

158
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,342
Ahem.
Oh, come on.

159
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,177
Barney.

160
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,471
Well, now,
this is just a disaster.

161
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,306
Yeah, you think?
Wha...?

162
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,725
Not you, Mr. Bloodmobile.
Ha, ha, he got shot again.

163
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,937
Cheryl is insisting we try
to get the kidnappers to release Pam.

164
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:03,607
Weren't you gonna
do that anyway?

165
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,942
If it came up.

166
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,737
And will somebody answer
the damn phone for once in their life?

167
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,698
Looking your way,
Brett.

168
00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:12,700
Hello?
Was that so hard?

169
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,326
Yes? Yeah, one sec.

170
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,661
- Kidnappers.
- Wha...?

171
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,121
Okay, keep them on the line.

172
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,039
- I'm lead negotiator.
- No, you're not.

173
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:23,586
And you, take Cheryl some crayons
or cheese or something.

174
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,132
I'm so cold.
Brett, get off the phone.

175
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,467
You got it?
Yes, hang up.

176
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,511
How long do I keep him on?
Two minutes.

177
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,388
What?
What happened to 30 seconds?

178
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,390
Uh, your mother's budget priorities.

179
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,726
No, this is all one solid piece.

180
00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:42,479
Brazilian rosewood, straight from
the heart of the Amazon jungle.

181
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,107
Guess how many pygmies died
cutting it down.

182
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,068
Hint, six.

183
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,279
Small price to pay
for beauty. Ahem.

184
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,282
Hi, Sterling Archer,
lead negotiator.

185
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,284
And to whom
might I be speaking?

186
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,535
Your worst nightmare.

187
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,454
Great. Ahem. One sec.

188
00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:00,289
Hello?
What are you doing?

189
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,916
I'll tell you what I'm not doing...

190
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,460
...is negotiating with a goddamn cyborg.
Hello?

191
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,962
That's just a voice modulator.
Uh, hello?

192
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,965
You don't think cyborgs
have that technology? I'm hanging up.

193
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,384
Hanging up?
It's not worth it, it's just Pam.

194
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,636
No, Archer, stop.
Hello...

195
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:20,726
Ahem.
They were probably tracing us.

196
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,979
And we don't want them
coming here.

197
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,690
You idiots! This isn't Cheryl Tunt.

198
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,568
That's what I've been trying to tell you.

199
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,487
Between this little gal's love taps.

200
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:37,243
Seriously. Maybe see if your daddy
will give you a roll of nickels.

201
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,328
First of all,
how are you still even conscious?

202
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:42,665
Ha-ha-ha. How do you
think I paid for college?

203
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:46,835
Two-sixty, 280,
and Jackson makes three.

204
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,088
And, uh, sorry about your homey...

205
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,174
...homies.

206
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,843
And second, where is Cheryl Tunt?

207
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,512
I assume she's safe at ISIS...

208
00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:00,182
...laughing her skinny, lying ass off
because she got me kidnapped.

209
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,478
This isn't funny, Cheryl.

210
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,605
I need that $3700 back.

211
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,191
Well, sorry, that money's gone.
What do you...?

212
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,360
Wait, what do you mean,
it's gone?

213
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,745
It's been an extremely
volatile year.

214
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,289
In the stock market?
Sure.

215
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,792
Well, whatever. I borrowed it from
my IRA, and if I don't pay it back...

216
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,752
What are they gonna do, kneecap you?
What...?

217
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,131
Oh. Not the IRA, my IRA.

218
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,800
And there are huge
tax implications for that.

219
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,135
I don't have it, dum-dum.

220
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,555
All my money's in, like, a trust
and I'd have to ask my gross brother.

221
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,640
So?
So he's gross.

222
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,225
Cheryl, I need that money.

223
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,727
I don't have it.
Ugh!

224
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,646
Now screw already.
I've got kidnappers to worry about.

225
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,023
But...

226
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,195
Okay, here we go.

227
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,323
This is Agent Lana Kane.
And you are?

228
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,742
About five seconds away...

229
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,328
...from shooting your friend Pam
in her rock-like face.

230
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:06,415
Well, we obviously don't want you to...
Violate the first law of robotics.

231
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:07,666
- Shoot Pam.

232
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,669
Okay.
So, what will it take for you to release her?

233
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,088
I'll trade you. For Cheryl Tunt.

234
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,757
Tum again? Still nothing?

235
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,842
No, no, no.

236
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,553
First of all, we don't even
know if Pam is still alive.

237
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,722
Yeah, I'm right here with the guy.

238
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,766
- And even if she were...
- I am.

239
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:24,975
That's a no-brainer.

240
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,853
I mean, my God,
Cheryl's worth half a billion.

241
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,063
What?

242
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,940
Well, how much is this one worth?

243
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:37,279
Oh, for... Seriously?
I'm thinking.

244
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,740
You're stalling so you can trace the call.

245
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,575
Now you've got tons of time.
Oh, shut up.

246
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:44,453
Hey, what's it gonna be?

247
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,997
Malory.
All right.

248
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,833
I can do 5000.

249
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,710
- What?
- Okay, we're done here.

250
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,629
No, wait, wait, don't hang...

251
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:56,673
Five thousand?
For Pam?

252
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,885
I bet you spent 10 times that
on your new conference table.

253
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,095
I did not.

254
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,932
Unless you include the funeral
expenses for those pygmies.

255
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,768
And I bet that sneaky little chief
just dumped them all...

256
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,978
...into one medium-sized hole.

257
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,107
Well, I was able to trace the call
to a one-block radius.

258
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,193
So if you will excuse me,
I am going to rescue Pam.

259
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,237
I will do that.
No, I will.

260
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,073
- Goddamn it, let's just everybody go.
- No.

261
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,451
There's half a billion dollars' worth
of Tunt sitting in that vault.

262
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,328
That's the critical mission here.

263
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,914
So who gets it?

264
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,585
No heroics, you two.
It's just Pam.

265
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,755
I mean, I know it's hard to put
a dollar value on a human life...

266
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,049
...but for shit's sake, 5 grand?

267
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,678
Yeah, so please don't take this
the wrong way, but I am gonna kill you.

268
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:46,014
Oh, come on,
I haven't seen your faces.

269
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,182
There.
Damn.

270
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,392
Now shut up.

271
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:52,771
Hey, so I'm not totally on board
with a full frontal assault on ISIS.

272
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,690
Ugh.
Yeah, I'm actually totally off board.

273
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,900
My eyes still hurt pretty bad.
Too bad.

274
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:59,403
That's the only way
we're gonna get to Cheryl Tunt.

275
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,364
I can get you guys in.
Uh, seriously?

276
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,367
Yeah, screw them,
especially Cheryl.

277
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,661
Hope you kidnap the shit out of her.

278
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:11,290
Wha...?
Where the hell is she?

279
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,375
You're gonna be in so much trouble.

280
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:17,546
No, trouble is what the IRS will do
to me if I don't pay back that loan.

281
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,381
The IRS?

282
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:23,886
Jesus, how many
Irish gangs are there?

283
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,141
But she must still be
in the building.

284
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,685
All the blast doors are down.
Yeah, so...

285
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:34,855
Oh, damn it. Archer and Ray
had to leave through the garage.

286
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:39,735
But they're not dumb enough
to leave the door wide open. Are they?

287
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:40,944
- Yes.
- Why?

288
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,405
Because you're just
wearing it to piss me off.

289
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,450
Is it working?
Yes, so take it off.

290
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,243
We look totally gay.
I am gay.

291
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,330
Well, I'm not.
Then why are you wearing that turtleneck?

292
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,664
Take it off.

293
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,833
You better put that back in your purse.

294
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,712
Hang on, this is far from over.

295
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,255
Talk to me.

296
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,424
Yeah, it's totally wide open.

297
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,301
What? No, I'm not an idiot, Mother.

298
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:07,262
We're still here in the garage.

299
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,264
Because Ray is being a total bitch.

300
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,642
Why do you care what he's wearing?
Oh, my God.

301
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,894
I'm not taking his side.
Oh, my God.

302
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,354
Sterling, they've taken Cheryl.

303
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:20,526
Probably right past you two while
you were arguing over who's prettiest.

304
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,777
They didn't come here.

305
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,445
Kidnappers got Cheryl.
Dukes.

306
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,031
- They gotta be in the building, right?
- Probably.

307
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,825
So secure the perimeter,
do a floor-by-floor sweep, and...

308
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,453
Brett, for the love of God.

309
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:32,913
Hello?

310
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,206
Yeah, one sec.

311
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,625
Kidnappers, line one.

312
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,294
That's them. Secure and sweep.

313
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,588
Idiots. Lana, follow me.

314
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,800
Roger that.
I will definitely tell him right now.

315
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,635
Tell me what?
For you take it off.

316
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:50,013
No, she didn't.
She absolutely certainly did, Ray.

317
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:55,143
And also for us to sweep the building,
the doing of which I am in charge.

318
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,146
Hey, thanks for
getting us inside, Pam.

319
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,856
Somebody shoot her.
Oh, okay.

320
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,985
Then good luck getting past
all the biometric scanners.

321
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:08,824
I mean, unless you wanna chop off
my fingertips and slice out my retinas.

322
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,828
- Oh, don't be dicks.
- What?

323
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,247
I said I'll kill the Tunt woman...

324
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,623
...if you don't pay the ransom.

325
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,250
I can't understand
a word of this.

326
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,044
Trainspotting, can you dial
that modulator down a skosh?

327
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,671
Oh, I'm sorry.

328
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:23,922
Is that better?
Barely.

329
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,424
Hang on a second. Uh...

330
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,842
- How about now?
- Better.

331
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,261
Now I believe
there was some mention of a ransom?

332
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,597
Three thousand, seven hundred dollars.

333
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,349
Bu...
Wait a minute, how much?

334
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:38,353
A million dollars. Fifty million dollars.

335
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,188
Why the hell are you down here?

336
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,025
Because Cyril
kidnapped me, duh.

337
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,193
What?
Oh, you are full of shit.

338
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,696
You heard me. Fifty million dollars.

339
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:51,658
Unmarked bills, uh, non-sequential.
Just keep him on the line.

340
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,785
Something is very fishy
about this kidnapper.

341
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,164
Uh, let's see, what else?
Tom Collins, try not to drown it.

342
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,125
Obviously, a dye pack is a deal breaker.

343
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,127
Jesus, would you hurry up?

344
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,088
Hey, I'm not the one who smashed
my eyes into eggplants.

345
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,381
Nut sack.

346
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:10,385
There. Now cut this shit off
so I can do the fingerprint reader.

347
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,845
Uh, let's see. What else?

348
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,388
Aha!
Aah!

349
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,558
Who you talking to?
Nobody. Phone sex.

350
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,352
Really.
Yep, see?

351
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,396
Oh, yeah, you like that, don't you?

352
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:22,898
- What?
- I know you do.

353
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,275
Because you're daddy's dirty,
dirty little whore.

354
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:28,320
Wha...?
Okay, I'm done masturbating. Goodbye.

355
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,697
What kind of sick, degenerate...?

356
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,075
Bu...

357
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,915
My God, he was calling from this floor.

358
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,250
Lana. Lana!

359
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:43,752
Where is she?
Who knows?

360
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,671
Probably some trailer park
in Alabama.

361
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,840
Not the phone-sex operator
you're totally lying about, Cheryl.

362
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,175
She's right here.

363
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,385
What?
What?

364
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:52,594
I mean, see?

365
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:55,764
Yeah, Little Miss Cry-Wolf here
handcuffed herself to a radiator.

366
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,600
What?
Which, even for you, pretty pathetic.

367
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,103
I didn't kidnap myself.
He did.

368
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,312
Who, me? No.

369
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,441
No, I've been up here the whole time
having some phone sex.

370
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:09,361
Just jacking it. On the telephone.

371
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,905
Um, does Internet porn know
you're cheating?

372
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,198
Very funny.
Thank you.

373
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,534
Lana, Lana, the kidnapper.

374
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,160
He was calling
from this floor.

375
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,371
Yeah, it was...
And where the hell was she?

376
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,872
Basement.
Kidnapped herself.

377
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,624
- No, I didn't.
- Oh, even for you.

378
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,918
No, I didn't!
That is pathetic.

379
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,629
Yeah, she's crazy.
You're crazy.

380
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:31,633
Just for jacking it on the telephone, which
we've established is what I was doing.

381
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,344
Wait, hang on...
All the trouble you put us through.

382
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,930
Were there even any kidnappers
in the first place?

383
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,099
Wha...? Yes.

384
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,601
Prove it.
They're right there, duh.

385
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,228
Double dukes.
That's not good.

386
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,981
Drop your weapons or she dies.

387
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,110
Oh, for... Seriously?

388
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:53,155
They're not gonna shoot you.
Their programming won't allow it.

389
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,781
What?
Don't ask.

390
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,950
Plus if they do, I'll shoot Carol.
What?

391
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,285
Sterling.
What the shit?

392
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,579
Relax. They can't risk killing Carol.

393
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,165
That would actually be a win-win for me.
Shut up.

394
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,000
- And here, just in case.
- Cool.

395
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,085
No, no, no, don't give him a...

396
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,087
- Unh!
- Damn it.

397
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,012
Shut up.
That vest is bulletproof.

398
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,680
Oh. Ow!

399
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:21,683
But it is, you know,
a vest.

400
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,940
No, hey, hey, hey. Don't shoot,
don't shoot. I give up, totally give up.

401
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,276
Keep those hands up.
Pam, you okay?

402
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,070
Do you people even give a shit?

403
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,031
Oh, shit.
Good God, woman.

404
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:40,285
Cheryl's dumb ass gets me kidnapped
and the shit kicked out of me all day...

405
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,829
...and nobody even tries to rescue me?

406
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,498
Archer's fault.
Shut up.

407
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,334
- You shut up, Mr. Pam's-Not-Worth-lt.
- Um...

408
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:52,547
Then you stupid A-holes
shoot a jillion stupid A-hole bullets at me.

409
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,508
Not me. I wasn't shooting.

410
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,886
And you, the worst of the bunch.

411
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,304
Me? Why me?

412
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,265
Five thousand measly dollars.

413
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:06,228
You know, maybe I lowballed him at first,
but I had some wiggle room.

414
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,562
Yeah?
I... You...

415
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,523
Well, let's see how much
you wiggle...

416
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,567
...when I'm whipping
5000 bucks' worth of your ass.

417
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,361
What?
Hey, whoa, Pam.

418
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,238
Lana, let her have this one.

419
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,572
Sterling.

420
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,741
Somebody? Anybody?

421
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,369
Yeah, anybody...

422
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:23,578
Ugh.

423
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:26,248
...want a piece of this?

424
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,254
Nope.

424
00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:39,648
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org