1
00:00:03,196 --> 00:00:03,963
Lemme go!
2
00:00:03,965 --> 00:00:05,937
You have no jurisdiction over me!
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,071
I'm a Canadian citizen!
4
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:10,653
Yeah, and we're taking you to Canada, so--
Help!
5
00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:11,020
Help!
6
00:00:11,022 --> 00:00:11,890
Extraordinary rendition!
7
00:00:11,892 --> 00:00:12,525
Extraordinary rendition!
8
00:00:13,261 --> 00:00:15,661
Light him up, newbie.
9
00:00:15,663 --> 00:00:17,428
Sorry in advance.
10
00:00:17,430 --> 00:00:18,194
Owww!
11
00:00:18,196 --> 00:00:19,628
That hurts like, insanely bad.
12
00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:22,566
That's why I said sorry in advance.
And you have to have to
13
00:00:22,568 --> 00:00:24,970
stop yelling "extraordinary rendition."
14
00:00:24,972 --> 00:00:25,972
A, nobody cares.
15
00:00:25,974 --> 00:00:27,643
And --
Be careful!
16
00:00:27,645 --> 00:00:29,344
You big lummox!
17
00:00:29,346 --> 00:00:32,682
- I swear to God, if you scuff my bags...
- Oh,
18
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:33,382
I wouldn't dream of it, ma'am.
19
00:00:33,384 --> 00:00:35,616
And I can do
without the sarcasm.
20
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,020
Oh, no ma'am, that wasn't --
Enough!
21
00:00:38,022 --> 00:00:39,055
With the backchat!
22
00:00:39,057 --> 00:00:41,290
Ugh, Lana, maybe you can talk to him.
23
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:41,724
Um?!
24
00:00:41,726 --> 00:00:44,429
So this is the
infamous Kenny Bilcoe?
25
00:00:44,431 --> 00:00:47,265
- You don't look like much of a terrorist...
- That's because I'm a
26
00:00:47,267 --> 00:00:47,832
freedom fighter!
27
00:00:47,834 --> 00:00:49,969
For a free and sovereign Nova Scotia!
28
00:00:49,971 --> 00:00:51,939
Is that why you
blew up a donut shop?
29
00:00:51,941 --> 00:00:52,807
Allegedly!
30
00:00:52,809 --> 00:00:55,676
If you believe Canada's illegitimate,
so-called "government!"
31
00:00:55,678 --> 00:00:58,680
- I'm pretty sure we do...
- Which is why we're taking
32
00:00:58,682 --> 00:00:59,915
you back to Ottawa.
33
00:00:59,917 --> 00:01:04,020
And once we do, hopefully the Mounties
will start sending us all kinds of
34
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,188
lucrative work.
35
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:05,789
How noble.
36
00:01:05,791 --> 00:01:08,092
Speaking of work, can I
put what I just assume is
37
00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:10,195
your rock collection
on the stupid train?
38
00:01:10,197 --> 00:01:12,065
Yes, the -- nooope!
39
00:01:12,067 --> 00:01:13,501
Nice try, Pam.
40
00:01:13,503 --> 00:01:13,935
What?
41
00:01:13,937 --> 00:01:16,103
You want to get on that
train so you can stowaway!
42
00:01:16,105 --> 00:01:17,604
Just like on the blimp!
43
00:01:17,606 --> 00:01:18,205
The what?
44
00:01:18,207 --> 00:01:20,073
Okay, no biggie.
45
00:01:20,075 --> 00:01:20,806
Have a nice trip.
46
00:01:20,808 --> 00:01:22,675
I -- wait a minute.
47
00:01:22,677 --> 00:01:23,675
What now?
48
00:01:23,677 --> 00:01:24,576
Too easy.
49
00:01:24,578 --> 00:01:25,877
Pam's up to something.
50
00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:27,811
Booooarrrd!
51
00:01:27,813 --> 00:01:30,847
- Well, I doubt she'll make it on now...
- Ditto for Archer.
52
00:01:30,849 --> 00:01:31,314
Wh-?
53
00:01:31,316 --> 00:01:32,448
He's not here?
54
00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:35,350
Mmmmmm... nope.
55
00:01:35,352 --> 00:01:37,018
Need to get
these bags on, ma'am.
56
00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:38,019
I heard him!
57
00:01:38,021 --> 00:01:38,552
George!
58
00:01:38,554 --> 00:01:42,089
- Malory, don't call him that...
- My name actually is George.
59
00:01:42,091 --> 00:01:42,624
Really?
60
00:01:42,626 --> 00:01:45,727
Dammit, I told
Sterling six o'clock!
61
00:01:45,729 --> 00:01:47,862
I thought you meant six a.m.!
62
00:01:47,864 --> 00:01:50,699
No, six --
Sterling are you drunk?
63
00:01:50,701 --> 00:01:51,800
Winnerrrr!
64
00:01:51,802 --> 00:01:52,367
Nice.
65
00:01:52,369 --> 00:01:54,737
- Archer...
- You knew we were transporting a dangerous
66
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:55,571
terrorist to Canada!
67
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:58,874
So how and why are you
drunk at six o'clock?
68
00:01:58,876 --> 00:02:04,045
Well the how's pretty self-explanatory,
and the why is because, hic,
69
00:02:04,047 --> 00:02:06,716
I thought we were leaving at six a.m.
70
00:02:06,718 --> 00:02:07,350
tomorrow.
71
00:02:07,352 --> 00:02:10,520
Ergo, Latin, plenty of
time to sleep it off.
72
00:02:11,156 --> 00:02:12,856
Well drink some coffee,
because there's a good chance
73
00:02:12,858 --> 00:02:15,425
Bilcoe's terrorist pals --
Alleged terrorist pals!
74
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,360
-- are going to attack
the train at some point,
75
00:02:17,362 --> 00:02:18,795
and try to bust him loose.
76
00:02:18,797 --> 00:02:19,796
Awesome!
77
00:02:19,798 --> 00:02:20,396
Right?
78
00:02:20,398 --> 00:02:22,765
I'm sorry, how
is that "awesome?"
79
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,801
Because, hic, pretty
much my whole life I've
80
00:02:24,803 --> 00:02:27,571
wanted to fight some guys on
the roof of a speeding train.
81
00:02:27,573 --> 00:02:30,974
Well if I know my boys, you
may just get your wish, big guy.
82
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,676
Thanks, Freddy Foreshadowing.
83
00:02:33,678 --> 00:02:35,178
Who is this?
84
00:02:36,047 --> 00:02:39,482
Please tell me he's a
renowned chicken-and-waffle chef.
85
00:02:39,484 --> 00:02:43,352
Because..
I am starving.
86
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:51,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
87
00:03:10,610 --> 00:03:15,652
3x03
- The Limited -
88
00:03:21,947 --> 00:03:24,106
- So listen,
- you look like a pretty smart guy...
89
00:03:24,251 --> 00:03:26,352
- Well thanks,
- I like to think so...
90
00:03:26,454 --> 00:03:29,320
- So why dontcha do yourself a
pretty-smart-guy favor and just let me go?
91
00:03:29,822 --> 00:03:31,989
- Uh, because
- Ms. Archer would kill me?
92
00:03:32,091 --> 00:03:34,792
Well what do ya think's gonna
happen when my boys storm this train?
93
00:03:34,794 --> 00:03:36,060
Oh, I'm not too
worried about that.
94
00:03:36,062 --> 00:03:37,127
Ya should be.
95
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:37,861
My boys are bad ass.
96
00:03:37,863 --> 00:03:39,964
Well, so am -- Lana.
97
00:03:39,966 --> 00:03:41,132
And I'm learning.
98
00:03:41,134 --> 00:03:42,867
Oh, and don't forget about Archer.
99
00:03:42,869 --> 00:03:43,568
The drunk guy?
100
00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:46,804
He may have seemed drunk, but he's--
Still drinking?
101
00:03:46,806 --> 00:03:48,873
Relax, Lana it's
just a bloody mary.
102
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:51,242
And by the way, not a great one.
103
00:03:51,244 --> 00:03:52,944
Mr. Vodka and Ketchup.
104
00:03:52,946 --> 00:03:55,680
Archer, at any time in the next
twelve hours this train could be
105
00:03:55,682 --> 00:03:58,149
attacked by radical Nova
Scotian separatists.
106
00:03:58,151 --> 00:03:59,684
Armed with what?
107
00:03:59,686 --> 00:04:02,854
Pamphlets about Canada's
responsible gun control laws?
108
00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:04,622
The New
Scotland Front has guns,
109
00:04:04,624 --> 00:04:07,292
and they're not afraid to use them, so --
So okay!
110
00:04:07,294 --> 00:04:08,961
God, I'll switch to coffee.
111
00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:11,531
Hey Heinz 56,
can I get an Irish coffee.
112
00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:11,898
No!
113
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,366
Lana, I have to taper off.
114
00:04:13,368 --> 00:04:18,371
Trust me, if these Noma Scojens are a
real threat, you do not want me hungover.
115
00:04:18,373 --> 00:04:20,873
Do you even still get hangovers?
116
00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:23,143
Normally no, but I
drank about two gallons of
117
00:04:23,145 --> 00:04:24,577
mamajuana this afternoon.
118
00:04:24,579 --> 00:04:29,448
I was playing dominoes with a, Dominican
bike gang, or was it Mahjong.
119
00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:30,048
I don't remember.
120
00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:31,383
Ridiculous!
121
00:04:31,385 --> 00:04:33,986
This thing's a sardine can.
122
00:04:33,988 --> 00:04:36,088
How are people supposed
to travel like this?
123
00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:37,890
Most people bring less luggage.
124
00:04:37,892 --> 00:04:39,425
Most people fly.
125
00:04:39,427 --> 00:04:42,929
So your days of sullen
superiority are numbered.
126
00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:44,931
I have no response to that.
127
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:45,765
They never do.
128
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:47,967
Now let's go find a bigger compartment.
129
00:04:47,969 --> 00:04:49,502
I'm afraid there aren't any.
130
00:04:49,504 --> 00:04:52,506
Nonsense, I'm sure
there's one here somewhere.
131
00:04:52,508 --> 00:04:54,007
Why are these all locked?
132
00:04:54,009 --> 00:04:55,441
They're occupied.
133
00:04:55,443 --> 00:05:00,278
So if you don't mind --
What I mind is your familiar tone, young man.
134
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,146
What's through here?
135
00:05:01,148 --> 00:05:02,914
Those are private cars, ma'am.
136
00:05:02,916 --> 00:05:04,182
What do you mean, "private?"
137
00:05:04,184 --> 00:05:07,551
I mean they're not --
Not for you to be knocking on!
138
00:05:07,553 --> 00:05:11,755
Now I have to insist that you --
Get yer panties untwisted!
139
00:05:11,757 --> 00:05:13,323
- Damn...
Wh-?
140
00:05:13,325 --> 00:05:14,557
I knew it!
141
00:05:14,559 --> 00:05:18,994
I want this train stopped immediately
and this stowaway forcibly disembarked!
142
00:05:18,996 --> 00:05:21,229
Afraid I can't do that, ma'am.
143
00:05:21,231 --> 00:05:23,831
You can and you will,
or I'll have your job!
144
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,298
No, she won't, George!
145
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,132
Carol?
146
00:05:26,134 --> 00:05:27,467
What are you doing here?
147
00:05:27,469 --> 00:05:29,802
Uh, trying
to perform my ablutions?
148
00:05:29,804 --> 00:05:31,971
But --
This is Miss Tunt's private car.
149
00:05:31,973 --> 00:05:34,773
How do you have
a private train car?
150
00:05:34,775 --> 00:05:36,775
Uh, cause she owns the railroad?
151
00:05:36,777 --> 00:05:37,409
Well, half.
152
00:05:37,411 --> 00:05:40,378
And I knew you wouldn't let us go on
this stupid trip to Canada, so I had my
153
00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:41,446
cars hooked up.
154
00:05:41,448 --> 00:05:42,480
Cars?
155
00:05:42,482 --> 00:05:44,315
Plural?
156
00:05:44,317 --> 00:05:47,618
This car, two sleeping
cars, a private dining car,
157
00:05:47,620 --> 00:05:50,987
and one that's just a
teeny tiny skating rink.
158
00:05:50,989 --> 00:05:53,622
Er, two sleeping cars?
159
00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:56,625
Do you think there might be room for --
Nooope.
160
00:05:56,627 --> 00:06:03,597
It's already cramped back there,
what with that piss-reeking ocelot.
161
00:06:03,599 --> 00:06:05,766
Plus George
says you stiffed him.
162
00:06:05,768 --> 00:06:06,233
Wh-?
163
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,201
No I didn't, I gave him a tip!
164
00:06:08,203 --> 00:06:09,136
A stick of gum?
165
00:06:09,138 --> 00:06:10,070
Well?
166
00:06:10,072 --> 00:06:10,537
Really?
167
00:06:10,539 --> 00:06:11,738
Did you not have a button?
168
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:13,339
You button it, missy!
169
00:06:13,341 --> 00:06:17,043
Oh we don't know the
meaning of private, lets all pile in.
170
00:06:17,045 --> 00:06:17,910
Lana check it out!
171
00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:18,443
Actual gas lamps!
172
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,346
Amazing, Archer, yes, so
you think we can go guard the
173
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,714
prisoner now, or -- RROWR!
174
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,016
Is that Babou?
175
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:26,984
Or not.
176
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:27,818
Apparently.
177
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,086
Okay --
Wowww!
178
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:29,786
Lana!
179
00:06:29,788 --> 00:06:30,253
Cyril!
180
00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:30,854
Jesus!
181
00:06:30,856 --> 00:06:31,554
Lana!
182
00:06:31,556 --> 00:06:32,555
And Pam.
183
00:06:32,557 --> 00:06:33,423
Lanaaaaa!
184
00:06:33,425 --> 00:06:33,890
What?
185
00:06:33,892 --> 00:06:34,924
He remembers me!
186
00:06:34,926 --> 00:06:37,626
Cyril, why are you in here?
187
00:06:37,628 --> 00:06:39,427
I didn't know
where you guys were.
188
00:06:39,429 --> 00:06:42,096
It doesn't matter where
we are, Newb Gingrich --
189
00:06:42,098 --> 00:06:43,130
Then get out!
190
00:06:43,132 --> 00:06:44,531
where's the prisoner?
191
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,800
In my compartment.
192
00:06:46,802 --> 00:06:51,270
- At least, he was...
- Although he doesn't seem to be in here now.
193
00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:52,605
No kidding.
194
00:06:52,607 --> 00:06:54,840
Mmmmmm... nope.
195
00:06:54,842 --> 00:06:55,774
ARCHER Lana!
196
00:06:55,776 --> 00:06:56,141
Cyril!
197
00:06:56,143 --> 00:06:58,243
- Oh my God...
- Too late, he's gone.
198
00:06:58,245 --> 00:06:59,244
Thanks to Cyril.
199
00:06:59,246 --> 00:07:02,147
Well he's not gonna jump off a
train going eighty miles an hour, so --
200
00:07:02,149 --> 00:07:02,781
So, yeah.
201
00:07:02,783 --> 00:07:04,582
We'll sweep car by car,
moving from front to back.
202
00:07:04,584 --> 00:07:08,052
Good, you guys do that, I'll
get a big raw steak from the kitchen.
203
00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:10,655
Are you
talking about the ocelot?
204
00:07:10,657 --> 00:07:11,255
Are you not?
205
00:07:11,257 --> 00:07:12,690
I'm talking about the prisoner!
206
00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:14,224
- Oh.
- Well, maybe they're together.
207
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,393
Although I doubt it,
Babou's kind of a loner.
208
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,127
Like Paul Newman in Hud.
209
00:07:18,129 --> 00:07:27,269
If Paul Newman had constantly sprayed
piss all over, um... oh what was her...
210
00:07:27,271 --> 00:07:28,868
Patricia Neal!
211
00:07:28,988 --> 00:07:30,548
Who I hate.
212
00:07:37,377 --> 00:07:38,633
Sorry for the intrusion, folks.
213
00:07:38,753 --> 00:07:43,983
Nothing to worry about, just some
standard, um...train security.
214
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:45,993
Okay, that's all
the regular cars.
215
00:07:46,113 --> 00:07:49,681
Now we get to search all the sleeper
cars, thanks to your incompetence.
216
00:07:49,683 --> 00:07:51,416
Well you left me unsupervised.
217
00:07:51,418 --> 00:07:52,818
So this is my fault?
218
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,219
Mmm, fifty-fifty?
219
00:07:54,221 --> 00:07:57,589
Fifty-fifty you accidentally
shoot somebody, Newb.
220
00:07:57,591 --> 00:08:00,058
Now come on, it'll take us all
night to search this damn train.
221
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:03,328
- Well, but with Archer helping...
- I wouldn't exactly call it helping.
222
00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:06,766
Here kitty kitty kitty.
223
00:08:06,768 --> 00:08:09,101
Kitty?
224
00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:13,405
Excuse me, is
there an ocelot in there?
225
00:08:13,407 --> 00:08:15,308
No no no, what're you doing?
226
00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:17,543
Besides making a ms all over my train?
227
00:08:17,545 --> 00:08:20,212
Looking for a terrorist and an ocelot--
What?
228
00:08:20,214 --> 00:08:21,880
-- not necessarily
in that order.
229
00:08:21,882 --> 00:08:24,482
Okay that's it, we're stopping.
230
00:08:24,484 --> 00:08:26,751
- Frank, this is George, we gotta...
- Give me that!
231
00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:29,554
He's gotta keep the train at top
speed so they can't get off.
232
00:08:29,556 --> 00:08:30,889
So tell him to keep it floored.
233
00:08:30,891 --> 00:08:32,291
I will do no such thing.
234
00:08:32,293 --> 00:08:33,893
Okay then here, hold this?
235
00:08:33,895 --> 00:08:35,828
Why are you
giving me a -- oh my!
236
00:08:35,830 --> 00:08:37,864
Sorry, but I'm not
letting a terrorist escape.
237
00:08:37,866 --> 00:08:41,669
And obviously an ocelot wouldn't
survive in the frozen wasteland
238
00:08:41,671 --> 00:08:43,271
of upstate New York.
239
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,906
So.
240
00:08:44,908 --> 00:08:47,677
Sorry Frank, uh, Miss
Tunt says she wants to beat
241
00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:49,078
the record run to Ottawa.
242
00:08:49,747 --> 00:08:50,780
Those crazy Tunts.
243
00:08:50,782 --> 00:08:54,150
Okay, hang on...
244
00:08:54,152 --> 00:08:55,052
Jesus!
245
00:08:55,054 --> 00:09:01,658
- Boys, hang on a sec...
- Okay boys, make sure you bring the heavy
246
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:04,060
stuff, cause these crazy ISIS
bastards aren't playing...
247
00:09:04,062 --> 00:09:06,163
They just killed a black guy.
248
00:09:06,165 --> 00:09:07,297
I know, right?
249
00:09:07,299 --> 00:09:09,065
Welcome to America.
250
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:11,234
How is that racist?
251
00:09:11,236 --> 00:09:14,903
Never mind, look --
I treat all servants exactly the same,
252
00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:16,371
regardless of their race.
253
00:09:16,373 --> 00:09:18,073
Hang on, I hear freedom ringing.
254
00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:20,108
At worst I'm elitist.
255
00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,209
But not racist.
256
00:09:21,211 --> 00:09:21,843
Whatever.
257
00:09:21,845 --> 00:09:24,646
Cyril and I searched the front half of
the train, but we didn't see any sign of
258
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:26,681
Bilcoe, okay so --
I bet it's hard to see
259
00:09:26,683 --> 00:09:29,183
- anything from that high horse...
- So.
260
00:09:29,185 --> 00:09:32,920
- Unless Archer found Bilcoe in the back
half of the train... - Which, no,
261
00:09:32,922 --> 00:09:33,287
he didn't.
262
00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:34,088
Jeezy Petes!
263
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:34,588
Archer!
264
00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:35,456
Is that blood?
265
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:36,090
What?
266
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:36,557
Oh.
267
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:37,725
Yeah, but it's from a cow.
268
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:41,128
You shot a cow?
269
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:43,832
And Bilcoe's not in the back
half, so you guys must've missed him.
270
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,467
Which, no, we didn't.
271
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:47,936
Which, yes, obviously you did --
Or you did.
272
00:09:47,938 --> 00:09:48,703
Or you did.
273
00:09:48,705 --> 00:09:51,073
Because there's no way he got
off, we're moving too fast.
274
00:09:51,075 --> 00:09:52,708
Oh my God we totally are!
275
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:56,011
We might beat the record run!
276
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:59,048
You guys probably don't understand
because don't own a railroad?
277
00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:01,184
But it's actually a pretty huge deal.
278
00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:01,752
To whom?
279
00:10:01,754 --> 00:10:03,153
Railroad owners?
280
00:10:03,155 --> 00:10:05,589
We're a
pretty competitive bunch.
281
00:10:05,591 --> 00:10:06,524
No, Pam!
282
00:10:06,526 --> 00:10:08,392
No means no, now stop it!
283
00:10:08,394 --> 00:10:09,427
Whatsa matter?
284
00:10:09,429 --> 00:10:10,194
Ya chicken?
285
00:10:10,196 --> 00:10:12,029
I'm in a wheelchair!
286
00:10:12,031 --> 00:10:12,362
Ow!
287
00:10:12,364 --> 00:10:14,465
Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk!
288
00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:15,165
Ow!
289
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:18,335
Goddammit Pam I don't wanna race!
290
00:10:18,337 --> 00:10:19,670
Couple skate?
291
00:10:19,672 --> 00:10:21,940
I can't believe you
have a skating rink train car.
292
00:10:21,942 --> 00:10:25,443
Yeah, apparently my
great-grampa was nuts for skating.
293
00:10:25,445 --> 00:10:26,445
That and the Klan.
294
00:10:26,447 --> 00:10:28,680
I -- okay, so
let's try this again.
295
00:10:28,682 --> 00:10:31,150
Car by car, this time back to front.
296
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:34,987
Good, because Miss Stingy here
won't let me eat in her private dining car--
297
00:10:34,989 --> 00:10:36,855
Oh my God
we've been over thaaaat...
298
00:10:36,857 --> 00:10:39,791
-- so when you pass the dining
car, have a porter bring me a Cobb
299
00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:40,659
salad.
300
00:10:40,661 --> 00:10:43,662
Before or after we locate
the dangerous terrorist?
301
00:10:43,664 --> 00:10:45,497
Before.
302
00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:49,102
Sorry folks,
uh, go back to sleep.
303
00:10:49,104 --> 00:10:51,638
Yeah,
just disregard the gun-toting
304
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,107
spies and the blood smeared everywhere.
305
00:10:54,109 --> 00:10:55,408
Oh yeah, keep an
eye out for pawprints.
306
00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:56,809
Where, in the blood?
307
00:10:56,811 --> 00:10:59,746
Yeah, I assume at some point
he'll come out to like... lick it.
308
00:10:59,748 --> 00:11:01,847
Come on,
we've only searched two cars,
309
00:11:01,849 --> 00:11:03,449
so we've got a shitload to go.
310
00:11:03,451 --> 00:11:07,386
Uh, speaking of, I need to
make use of the facilities here...
311
00:11:07,388 --> 00:11:09,055
Fine, but catch up, okay.
312
00:11:09,057 --> 00:11:10,724
And pay attention.
313
00:11:10,726 --> 00:11:12,759
Yeah, they look just
like prints from a housecat,
314
00:11:12,761 --> 00:11:14,928
only bigger and awesomer.
315
00:11:14,930 --> 00:11:18,365
Go.
316
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:19,600
Hey, welcome to the bathroom.
317
00:11:19,602 --> 00:11:20,267
Well, thank you.
318
00:11:20,269 --> 00:11:21,669
No, no, wait, what're you -
319
00:11:21,671 --> 00:11:22,704
Ungh!
320
00:11:22,706 --> 00:11:24,939
I can tell you never
played much hockey, huh?
321
00:11:24,941 --> 00:11:28,176
Probably too busy runnin
around shootin black guys.
322
00:11:28,178 --> 00:11:30,245
What's the word, boys?
323
00:11:30,247 --> 00:11:31,079
Fantastic!
324
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,380
They'll never see that coming!
325
00:11:32,382 --> 00:11:34,081
I'll see ya at the border!
326
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:35,683
Archer, we don't
have time for this.
327
00:11:35,685 --> 00:11:37,351
It'll take like, two seconds!
328
00:11:37,353 --> 00:11:38,552
God!
329
00:11:38,554 --> 00:11:43,089
- Okay so, a Cobb salad...
- I am not taking that woman a salad,
330
00:11:43,091 --> 00:11:44,290
Cobb or otherwise.
331
00:11:44,292 --> 00:11:48,594
George, trust me, you don't want
to see my mother with low blood sug --
332
00:11:48,596 --> 00:11:49,896
Wait, why are we slowing down?
333
00:11:49,898 --> 00:11:51,531
We're at the border.
334
00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:51,998
Of?
335
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,634
Uh, this new
place, called Canada?
336
00:11:54,636 --> 00:11:55,101
So?
337
00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:57,871
So, customs, passport
control, immigration?
338
00:11:57,873 --> 00:11:59,807
You know, the border?
339
00:11:59,809 --> 00:12:01,442
Yeah, but... with America.
340
00:12:01,444 --> 00:12:03,177
They still guard the border!
341
00:12:03,179 --> 00:12:04,945
Lana, we're going into Canada!
342
00:12:04,947 --> 00:12:07,514
Okay, can you please explain to him--
Don't do that.
343
00:12:07,516 --> 00:12:11,952
Okay, already knowing your answer,
I'm going to ask, "Don't do what."
344
00:12:11,954 --> 00:12:14,320
Make this a weird racial thing.
345
00:12:14,322 --> 00:12:17,624
- I knew, and yet I asked...
- What, I just don't wanna be ganged up
346
00:12:17,626 --> 00:12:17,924
on!
347
00:12:17,926 --> 00:12:18,725
George, back me up here.
348
00:12:18,727 --> 00:12:21,928
I'm gonna back way up,
and not be in here when the
349
00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:24,631
mounties catch you crazy
people with all those guns.
350
00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:25,265
Oh, shit.
351
00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:28,534
What, they're Canadian, they
don't even know what a gun -- oh, shit!
352
00:12:28,536 --> 00:12:31,270
He said, realizing that --
That what's the perfect
353
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,873
disguise for some terrorists who
want to board a train to bust
354
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,441
loose another terrorist?
355
00:12:35,443 --> 00:12:36,808
Oh, shit!
356
00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:39,111
The --
Royal Canadian Mounted Police, folks.
357
00:12:39,113 --> 00:12:42,147
Please have your passports and
declarations forms out and ready.
358
00:12:42,149 --> 00:12:42,914
Ready?
359
00:12:42,916 --> 00:12:45,851
Yeah, but what if they're
like, actual real mounties?
360
00:12:45,853 --> 00:12:48,687
Well, not to belabor the
point, but they'd still be Canadian.
361
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:51,256
i.e., I doubt we're in any real danger.
362
00:12:51,258 --> 00:12:53,124
Okay, here goes...
363
00:12:53,126 --> 00:12:53,825
Freeze!
364
00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:54,325
Hands up!
365
00:12:54,327 --> 00:12:55,026
Get 'em up!
366
00:12:56,095 --> 00:12:58,730
I swear to God if any of
you Canadian fruitcakes move I
367
00:12:58,732 --> 00:13:00,798
will shoot that stupid
hat right off your head.
368
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:01,966
That, that's not okay.
369
00:13:01,968 --> 00:13:04,067
Get 'em up Dudley Douchebags!
370
00:13:04,069 --> 00:13:05,702
Maintain the right, boys.
371
00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:08,738
Whoa, dude, we're serious, we'll shh --
372
00:13:08,740 --> 00:13:11,241
iiiiiiit!
373
00:13:11,243 --> 00:13:12,909
God damn it, Archer!
374
00:13:12,911 --> 00:13:14,277
What, Lana?
375
00:13:14,279 --> 00:13:15,645
You are so!
376
00:13:15,647 --> 00:13:16,480
Stupid!
377
00:13:16,482 --> 00:13:20,417
Thinking terrorists would be disguised as --
Royal Canadian Mounted Police!
378
00:13:20,419 --> 00:13:22,153
Stand down, boys!
379
00:13:22,155 --> 00:13:22,921
We're mounties!
380
00:13:22,923 --> 00:13:23,621
Piss off!
381
00:13:23,623 --> 00:13:24,322
We're mounties!
382
00:13:24,324 --> 00:13:27,092
Great, good, we're all
mounties, so no need for a Mexican
383
00:13:27,094 --> 00:13:28,126
standoff, eh?
384
00:13:28,128 --> 00:13:33,065
Oh yah, hooz aboota co-opt s'moor
American stoof there, eh, Cahnada?
385
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:35,234
Stuff like Mexican standoff?
386
00:13:35,236 --> 00:13:37,302
- Oh, look at that, the race card...
Wh-?
387
00:13:37,304 --> 00:13:38,703
Let's all just
put down the guns, boys!
388
00:13:38,705 --> 00:13:40,872
C'mon, we're not Americans!
389
00:13:40,874 --> 00:13:41,272
RRROWR!
390
00:13:41,274 --> 00:13:42,940
Unvaccinated animal!
391
00:13:42,942 --> 00:13:43,641
Put him down, boys!
392
00:13:43,643 --> 00:13:44,108
No!
393
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:44,875
Serpentine, Babou!
394
00:13:44,877 --> 00:13:45,376
RROWR!
395
00:13:45,378 --> 00:13:46,811
Aw jeez, he sprayed me!
396
00:13:46,813 --> 00:13:47,511
That reeks!
397
00:13:47,513 --> 00:13:48,412
Did he get away?
398
00:13:48,414 --> 00:13:50,714
Ya, ugh, he
ran right oat past us!
399
00:13:50,716 --> 00:13:51,348
Good.
400
00:13:51,350 --> 00:13:52,716
Then screw this.
401
00:13:52,718 --> 00:13:54,391
Please tell me
that's a smoke grenade.
402
00:13:54,511 --> 00:13:55,961
Okay.
403
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,625
It's not, though.
404
00:14:07,210 --> 00:14:08,710
Whooo
405
00:14:08,823 --> 00:14:11,123
Hoh-lee --
-- shitsnacks!
406
00:14:11,125 --> 00:14:12,091
What was that?
407
00:14:12,132 --> 00:14:13,898
Probably my stomach growling.
408
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:16,335
I am literally starving to death.
409
00:14:16,337 --> 00:14:17,436
I don't care, Frank!
410
00:14:17,438 --> 00:14:19,872
We are gonna beat that record,
so put this stupid train in...
411
00:14:19,874 --> 00:14:22,542
train-gear, and jam it!
412
00:14:22,544 --> 00:14:22,909
Rrgh!
413
00:14:22,911 --> 00:14:26,046
- I'm surrounded by mediocrity...
- In what way?
414
00:14:26,048 --> 00:14:29,215
In what possible way did that work?
415
00:14:29,217 --> 00:14:32,518
- Umm A, they're all incapacitated...
- And B,
416
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:33,987
I got to blow up a train.
417
00:14:33,989 --> 00:14:36,088
Well thanks, Gomez --
Nice.
418
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:37,656
But that doesn't
help us find Bilcoe!
419
00:14:37,658 --> 00:14:39,425
He's right there, stupid.
420
00:14:39,427 --> 00:14:39,859
Wh-?
421
00:14:39,861 --> 00:14:41,193
Jesus boys, what happened?
422
00:14:41,195 --> 00:14:42,128
I happened.
423
00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:43,262
Drop it, Bilcoe.
424
00:14:43,264 --> 00:14:45,230
You drop it, ya racist bastard!
425
00:14:45,699 --> 00:14:46,431
Gagh!
426
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:47,099
Oww!
427
00:14:47,101 --> 00:14:49,968
Wait, how am I a racist?
428
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:50,468
Really?
429
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:53,271
Shut up and
come on and shut up!
430
00:14:53,273 --> 00:14:55,406
Wait, we don't know which
Mounties are the real ones!
431
00:14:55,408 --> 00:14:57,408
What do we do?
432
00:14:59,847 --> 00:15:00,912
Archer!
433
00:15:00,914 --> 00:15:01,813
I'm kidding!
434
00:15:01,815 --> 00:15:04,149
Jesus Lana...
Hey, good guys and bad guys!
435
00:15:04,151 --> 00:15:08,954
All of you just got a pretty huge pass,
so don't make me regret it later!
436
00:15:08,956 --> 00:15:09,321
Deal?
437
00:15:10,791 --> 00:15:11,289
Come on!
438
00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:13,859
I'm taking that
as tacit agreement!
439
00:15:13,861 --> 00:15:15,194
Cyril, what the
hell are you doing?
440
00:15:15,196 --> 00:15:16,796
Being blind!
441
00:15:16,798 --> 00:15:18,498
Oh my God, I'm blind!
442
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,199
Sweater!
443
00:15:19,201 --> 00:15:20,634
Huh?
444
00:15:20,636 --> 00:15:20,967
Oh.
445
00:15:20,969 --> 00:15:22,536
When will you not suck at this?
446
00:15:22,538 --> 00:15:25,405
When you don't suck at...
shut up!
447
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,074
Go ahead shoot me.
448
00:15:28,076 --> 00:15:29,809
It's better than starving to death.
449
00:15:29,811 --> 00:15:30,944
Everybody shut up!
450
00:15:30,946 --> 00:15:34,581
And then somebody get over
here to be my hostage!
451
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,317
Oh for -- way to man up, Ray!
452
00:15:37,319 --> 00:15:37,817
Wh-?
453
00:15:37,819 --> 00:15:38,985
I'm in a wheelchair!
454
00:15:38,987 --> 00:15:42,287
Yeah, no offense but we're gonna
be, ya know, running around and stuff?
455
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,088
Uh, no!
456
00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:44,056
You're not!
457
00:15:44,058 --> 00:15:44,856
Uh, yeah!
458
00:15:44,858 --> 00:15:45,424
I am!
459
00:15:48,395 --> 00:15:49,328
Everybody okay?
460
00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,429
Yeah, I think so.
461
00:15:50,431 --> 00:15:50,929
Yeah.
462
00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:53,198
Paralyzed, but other
than that, fine. Yeah.
463
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,434
- Okay, then Lana, you guard them...
- Okay, what's the plan.
464
00:15:56,436 --> 00:16:00,271
And Cyril, you keep sliding down
the learning curve like the Banana Splits.
465
00:16:00,273 --> 00:16:01,272
And what are you gonna do?
466
00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:04,809
I am going to
fulfill my lifelong dream.
467
00:16:04,811 --> 00:16:07,978
Meeting Mr. Greenjeans?
468
00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:09,146
Snap out of it, boys!
469
00:16:09,148 --> 00:16:09,980
Bilcohhhhhh!
470
00:16:09,982 --> 00:16:12,482
I could use
some help on the roof!
471
00:16:12,484 --> 00:16:16,886
Oh my God, this
is gonna be awwshiiiit!
472
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:17,720
Owww!
473
00:16:17,722 --> 00:16:18,354
The dust!
474
00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:23,324
It's like being shot in the eyes by a...
glittergun!
475
00:16:23,326 --> 00:16:24,926
There, that oughta do it.
476
00:16:24,928 --> 00:16:28,296
Okay, let's try that agawwwshiit!
477
00:16:28,298 --> 00:16:29,565
Retinas!
478
00:16:29,567 --> 00:16:31,634
Seared, like tuna steaks!
479
00:16:31,636 --> 00:16:34,136
All I want is to fight
on top of a train!
480
00:16:34,138 --> 00:16:36,405
Is that too much to ask?
481
00:16:36,407 --> 00:16:39,041
The good news,
is now I'm furious.
482
00:16:39,043 --> 00:16:41,377
So, rethinking this, huh?
483
00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:44,114
On top of the train you're
still like, on the train,
484
00:16:44,116 --> 00:16:46,616
plus you got all -- oh shit!
485
00:16:46,618 --> 00:16:48,351
Plus you got all that.
486
00:16:48,353 --> 00:16:54,423
Oh shit. Whyyyyyyyyy--
-- do people do this?
487
00:16:54,425 --> 00:16:56,459
You're still just on the train.
488
00:16:56,461 --> 00:16:57,360
I know, right?
489
00:16:57,362 --> 00:16:59,195
Although, I guess sometimes
there's a helicopter?
490
00:16:59,197 --> 00:17:00,863
Do you have a helicopter?
491
00:17:00,865 --> 00:17:02,765
Mmmmmm... nope.
492
00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:03,299
Just a gun.
493
00:17:03,301 --> 00:17:05,033
It's empty, dickhead.
494
00:17:05,035 --> 00:17:07,202
Yeah nice try, super-dickhead.
495
00:17:08,605 --> 00:17:09,204
What the...?
496
00:17:09,206 --> 00:17:11,673
You fired eight
rounds, ultradickhead.
497
00:17:11,675 --> 00:17:15,711
Am I the only person who ever
keeps track of that, -- oww!
498
00:17:15,713 --> 00:17:18,313
- Wow, and I thought I was mad before...
- Why,
499
00:17:18,315 --> 00:17:20,883
didja see some old black lady
sittin in the front of a bus?
500
00:17:20,885 --> 00:17:23,019
What is your deal
with calling me a racist?
501
00:17:23,021 --> 00:17:27,490
Well A, you're American --
That's, oh shit, racists
502
00:17:27,492 --> 00:17:28,924
jingoist, whatever!
503
00:17:28,926 --> 00:17:31,059
And B, you murdered the porter!
504
00:17:31,061 --> 00:17:31,526
Wh-?
505
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:32,060
No I didn't!
506
00:17:32,062 --> 00:17:32,727
You shot him!
507
00:17:32,729 --> 00:17:33,862
There was blood everywhere!
508
00:17:33,864 --> 00:17:35,663
That was from
a steak, you idiot!
509
00:17:35,665 --> 00:17:37,599
I was trying to catch an ocelot!
510
00:17:37,601 --> 00:17:39,501
In Canada?
511
00:17:39,503 --> 00:17:40,602
And I'm the idiot?
512
00:17:40,604 --> 00:17:42,270
Hold it
right there, boys!
513
00:17:42,272 --> 00:17:44,772
Royal
Canadian Mounted Police!
514
00:17:44,774 --> 00:17:45,907
Dammit, who are the real ones?
515
00:17:45,909 --> 00:17:47,843
Guess that's for me
to know and you to find out.
516
00:17:47,845 --> 00:17:50,780
Well I'm gonna find
out in like five -- RRROWR!
517
00:17:50,782 --> 00:17:51,280
Babou!
518
00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:52,948
He's corpuscular!
519
00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:53,682
Get him, boys!
520
00:17:53,684 --> 00:17:54,350
Nooooo!
521
00:17:57,020 --> 00:18:00,154
Babou, serpentiiiiiiine!
522
00:18:00,156 --> 00:18:03,591
- Yeah, so...
- So yeah, put that in your little secret
523
00:18:03,593 --> 00:18:07,162
agent notebook, along with "don't
leave prisoners unsupervised."
524
00:18:07,164 --> 00:18:10,866
There's absolutely no reason to
ever get on top of a moving train.
525
00:18:10,868 --> 00:18:12,300
Wait, what if
there's a helicopter?
526
00:18:12,302 --> 00:18:14,202
Ooh, yeah, or a dragon!
527
00:18:14,204 --> 00:18:15,870
Ooh, yeah, or some sarcasm!
528
00:18:15,872 --> 00:18:17,738
Ooh, yeah, or hang on!
529
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,506
What?
530
00:18:18,508 --> 00:18:20,407
Waaaaagh!
531
00:18:21,711 --> 00:18:25,379
Aaaaaa... ungh!
532
00:18:25,381 --> 00:18:26,480
Babooooo!
533
00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:30,918
That's right, buddy, I
goww oww oww oww oww, Babou no!
534
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:31,452
Owww!
535
00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:35,556
RRROWWRR!
536
00:18:35,558 --> 00:18:38,726
Oh come on, I wouldn't say
it was a complete failure...
537
00:18:38,728 --> 00:18:39,426
Oh, really?
538
00:18:39,428 --> 00:18:42,763
And what parts of this mission
would you call a success?
539
00:18:42,765 --> 00:18:44,765
- Well, let's see...
- Maybe the part
540
00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:48,369
where my non-recordbreaking
train is totally shit-housed?
541
00:18:48,371 --> 00:18:50,905
- Not as shit-housed as my spleen...
- Ooh,
542
00:18:50,907 --> 00:18:54,242
or maybe the part where the mounties
will never hire ISIS again!
543
00:18:54,244 --> 00:18:56,845
What's it matter, we're
all banned from Canada.
544
00:18:56,847 --> 00:19:00,849
- Au revoir, sweet man-whores of Montreal...
- Ugh.
545
00:19:00,851 --> 00:19:01,550
Lana?
546
00:19:01,552 --> 00:19:02,351
You were saying?
547
00:19:02,353 --> 00:19:05,788
- Ah, well, we did help with a major arrest...
- Kenny Bilcoe,
548
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:09,091
you're under arrest for violation of
sections one through nine of the Canadian
549
00:19:09,093 --> 00:19:10,326
Terrorism Act, buddy.
550
00:19:10,328 --> 00:19:12,461
Sorry to cut into
yer donut supply, boys.
551
00:19:12,463 --> 00:19:14,797
Long live free Nova Scotia!
552
00:19:14,799 --> 00:19:18,400
- Oh wait, make that five...
- Same goes for you bastards!
553
00:19:18,402 --> 00:19:20,869
Plus impersonating an RCMP constable!
554
00:19:20,871 --> 00:19:22,537
That's not
fair, you're doin it!
555
00:19:24,741 --> 00:19:25,740
Oh, wait!
556
00:19:25,742 --> 00:19:27,442
- I guess make that six...
- And besides
557
00:19:27,444 --> 00:19:30,313
attempted murder on a black
guy, you're under arrest for
558
00:19:30,315 --> 00:19:33,750
violating the Exotic Fish and
Wildlife Importation Act.
559
00:19:33,752 --> 00:19:37,154
- Yeah whatever, Dudley Douchebag...
- Plus you already
560
00:19:37,156 --> 00:19:37,621
used that once.
561
00:19:37,623 --> 00:19:40,223
It was good
enough to merit seconds!
562
00:19:40,225 --> 00:19:40,924
You hear that?
563
00:19:40,926 --> 00:19:42,359
They called you exotic!
564
00:19:42,361 --> 00:19:42,927
RROWR!
565
00:19:42,929 --> 00:19:46,163
Which is just people talk for
awesome, which is what you are,
566
00:19:46,165 --> 00:19:48,966
which is why I was happy
to save your life, buddy.
567
00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:49,800
Rrowr?
568
00:19:49,802 --> 00:19:52,603
No don't worry, probably
just thousands of dollars in fines,
569
00:19:52,605 --> 00:19:58,574
maybe a little jail time,
hopefully just probation.
570
00:19:58,576 --> 00:19:59,608
Totally worth it.
571
00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:01,310
Rrowr?
572
00:20:01,312 --> 00:20:02,078
No, Babou.
573
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,850
That was all sarcasm.
574
00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:06,867
Rrowr?
575
00:20:06,987 --> 00:20:08,284
Yes, all of it!
576
00:20:08,286 --> 00:20:10,154
You fox-eared asshole!
576
00:20:11,305 --> 00:20:17,572
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