1 00:00:02,554 --> 00:00:04,153 Wait, here's an idea: 2 00:00:04,155 --> 00:00:06,426 you talk louder, and maybe they'll just come to us. 3 00:00:06,428 --> 00:00:08,427 We'd lose the element of surprise Lana. 4 00:00:08,429 --> 00:00:09,428 That was sarcasm! 5 00:00:09,430 --> 00:00:10,855 No way, really? 6 00:00:10,975 --> 00:00:12,367 Because so was that, just now. 7 00:00:12,369 --> 00:00:14,802 I pretty much insist that you shut up. 8 00:00:14,804 --> 00:00:15,969 Oh shit, they're in the armory. 9 00:00:15,971 --> 00:00:18,307 Good, then we got 'em, this is the only way out. 10 00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,675 Of the armory. 11 00:00:19,677 --> 00:00:20,509 I heard you. 12 00:00:20,511 --> 00:00:23,848 And I can also read, so -- So what's in the armory? 13 00:00:23,850 --> 00:00:26,783 Burglars, Lana, that's why I'm here and not up 14 00:00:26,785 --> 00:00:28,150 to my ears in stewardess. 15 00:00:28,152 --> 00:00:29,718 What else is in the armory. 16 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,387 Well, there's a bunch of automatic weapons, rocket launchers, um, 17 00:00:32,389 --> 00:00:35,256 about a jillion grenades, oh. 18 00:00:35,258 --> 00:00:36,891 They may have fire superiority. 19 00:00:36,893 --> 00:00:37,924 Ya think? 20 00:00:37,926 --> 00:00:41,129 Lana, for all we know they're building a gundam-suit with bazookas for hands. 21 00:00:41,131 --> 00:00:42,665 Really wish we had some backup. 22 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:43,867 Who, Cyril? 23 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:47,005 Or ooh, maybe Ray could run over them with his wheelchair! 24 00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:50,842 That was also sarcasm, since apparently now we're saying whenever we do it. 25 00:00:50,844 --> 00:00:52,578 - Are you ready? - No. 26 00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:56,049 Sarcasm again, yes I'm ready. 27 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:04,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 28 00:01:05,029 --> 00:01:06,096 What the hell are you doing?! 29 00:01:06,098 --> 00:01:07,497 - Nothing! - Archer! 30 00:01:07,499 --> 00:01:10,234 What! The hell are you doing? 31 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,903 Nothin. What're y'all doing? 32 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:16,074 The alarm company called us because the motion sensors were going off. 33 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:16,941 Dukes! 34 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:21,313 Yeah, the rest of us got new keycodes Monday, but you were... 35 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:22,014 where was it? 36 00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:23,182 Physical therapy. 37 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,985 For your limp, useless legs. 38 00:01:25,987 --> 00:01:28,689 Well it's obviously working, you're on a -- wait a minute! 39 00:01:28,691 --> 00:01:30,891 How the hell are you walking around on ladders?! 40 00:01:30,893 --> 00:01:32,527 Because he's not paralyzed! 41 00:01:32,529 --> 00:01:34,829 And is that not the stuff of miracles? 42 00:01:34,831 --> 00:01:38,033 You lying little -- I never said I was paralyzed! 43 00:01:38,035 --> 00:01:39,467 Y'all just assumed I was! 44 00:01:39,469 --> 00:01:41,803 Because you left the hospital in a wheelchair! 45 00:01:41,805 --> 00:01:43,271 They make you! 46 00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:46,741 And then I couldn't get a cab, so I just got back in the chair, and... 47 00:01:46,743 --> 00:01:48,942 Spent the last six months pretending to be handicapped. 48 00:01:48,944 --> 00:01:49,944 Handi-capable. 49 00:01:49,946 --> 00:01:52,379 So before I kick this ladder over in the hopes of 50 00:01:52,381 --> 00:01:54,981 paralyzing you for real, why are you in here stealing 51 00:01:54,983 --> 00:01:58,885 guns and grenades and what better not be my night vision goggles?! 52 00:01:58,887 --> 00:02:01,688 I kinda have some family problems. 53 00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:05,992 So your brother, the drug dealer-- He's not a drug dealer! 54 00:02:05,994 --> 00:02:07,094 He's a drug farmer. 55 00:02:07,096 --> 00:02:10,198 Whatever, is gonna be murdered by your hometown's crooked sheriff? 56 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,636 E.Z. Ponder, yes, and he used to bully me so bad in high school... 57 00:02:14,638 --> 00:02:15,570 Nooo! 58 00:02:15,572 --> 00:02:16,705 Ray, that was sarcasm. 59 00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:18,740 Anyway, he wants Randy's dope farm for 60 00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:22,577 himself or he's gonna kill him, so I gotta go down there and... stop him. 61 00:02:22,579 --> 00:02:24,278 - Count me in. - What?! Why?! 62 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:28,282 Well for one thing it's eerily similar to the plot of White Lightning. 63 00:02:28,284 --> 00:02:30,050 And this is Ray's brother, Lana. 64 00:02:30,052 --> 00:02:32,152 What's more important than family? 65 00:02:32,154 --> 00:02:36,123 Getting hammered on moonshine and trying to bang skanky trailer-chicks? 66 00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:37,024 Trying? 67 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,859 Oh, that reminds me. 68 00:02:38,861 --> 00:02:43,731 - They all think I'm married to like, a woman, so... - Oh alright, 69 00:02:43,733 --> 00:02:44,565 I'll be your beard. 70 00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:46,167 What're you, insane? 71 00:02:46,169 --> 00:02:48,365 "Hey y'all, here's my great big ol' black wife!" 72 00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:50,118 Wh-? - Lana, c'mon. 73 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,165 You're gigantic. 74 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,669 Now what's all this nonsense about a break-in last night? 75 00:03:31,671 --> 00:03:37,375 I swear to God, if Krieger was doing more of his -- what's his new awful thing? 76 00:03:37,377 --> 00:03:41,146 Ultimate Bum Shockfights, and no, it looks like it was an actual break-in. 77 00:03:41,148 --> 00:03:42,347 - What?! - Jeezy Petes! 78 00:03:42,349 --> 00:03:43,715 Did they get into the mainframe?! 79 00:03:43,717 --> 00:03:47,218 I... don't know, but -- We need Sterling, where is he?! 80 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:50,754 He's tracking down, um, leads. 81 00:03:50,756 --> 00:03:52,356 From the clues. 82 00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:53,590 That there were some of. 83 00:03:53,592 --> 00:03:54,658 What kind of clues? 84 00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:57,494 The kind I'm gonna show you, if you're not too busy 85 00:03:57,496 --> 00:03:59,162 shutting up to come on. 86 00:03:59,164 --> 00:04:01,599 And put Sterling through to me the minute he calls in! 87 00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:05,436 Which I guess will be never... So, are there just no towers here? 88 00:04:05,438 --> 00:04:07,873 Or have we literally gone back in time? 89 00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:08,640 Both? 90 00:04:08,642 --> 00:04:10,776 Ow, you dumb idiot! 91 00:04:10,778 --> 00:04:13,112 - Great... Great... - Why am I in a, 92 00:04:13,114 --> 00:04:14,713 whatever, dune buggy? 93 00:04:14,715 --> 00:04:18,017 Remember? We picked you up last night, said we were going on a trip? 94 00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:19,419 No, and to where? 95 00:04:19,421 --> 00:04:22,055 Six Flags Over The Shittier Parts of Chernobyl? 96 00:04:22,057 --> 00:04:23,856 Ferlin, West Virginia. 97 00:04:23,858 --> 00:04:26,425 Yeah, and you and Ray are married. 98 00:04:26,427 --> 00:04:28,193 Oh my God oh my God oh my God! 99 00:04:28,195 --> 00:04:29,994 We're not actually -- Actually it'll be better if she thinks -- 100 00:04:29,996 --> 00:04:33,164 - We're marrieeeeed... - Super. 101 00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:34,132 Ray, look out! 102 00:04:34,134 --> 00:04:36,333 Wh-?! 103 00:04:37,303 --> 00:04:40,904 is that the sheriff, and have you recently gone insane. 104 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,272 Yes and no. 105 00:04:42,274 --> 00:04:43,140 Respectively? 106 00:04:43,142 --> 00:04:45,777 Now I know that ain't who I think it is! 107 00:04:45,779 --> 00:04:48,146 No shit! Ray Gillet! 108 00:04:48,148 --> 00:04:49,881 - Gillet? - How'n the hell are ya? 109 00:04:49,883 --> 00:04:51,849 Pretty good, E.Z. How you doin? 110 00:04:51,851 --> 00:04:53,351 Aw, can't complain. 111 00:04:53,353 --> 00:04:57,087 And nobody'd listen if I did! 112 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,589 I hear that. 113 00:04:58,591 --> 00:05:00,524 You hear what. 114 00:05:00,526 --> 00:05:02,025 Not? 115 00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:03,993 That? 116 00:05:03,995 --> 00:05:05,862 What brings you back up the holler? 117 00:05:05,864 --> 00:05:13,001 Oh you know, just wanted to show off my pretty new bride to the home folks. 118 00:05:13,003 --> 00:05:14,903 She is that. 119 00:05:14,905 --> 00:05:17,506 For a minute there I's thinkin maybe you come back to help yer 120 00:05:17,508 --> 00:05:21,544 brother out with his... business concern. 121 00:05:21,546 --> 00:05:23,112 Naw, just back for a visit. 122 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,015 Well, make sure it's a short one. 123 00:05:25,017 --> 00:05:29,820 'Cause believe me when I tell you, ain't nothin you can do to help him. 124 00:05:29,822 --> 00:05:32,956 Y'all drive safe now, hear? 125 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:35,625 Man, is it me or is he super-menacing? 126 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:36,927 Or super-hot? 127 00:05:36,929 --> 00:05:38,295 Hey! Remember?! 128 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,330 We're married?! 129 00:05:39,332 --> 00:05:41,465 Not until it's consummated. 130 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:47,971 I'll drive if you wanna hop back there and um enter her. 131 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:51,875 So not only is Ray not paralyzed, but his brother is a drug dealer -- 132 00:05:51,877 --> 00:05:54,645 Farmer. And he and Archer are in West Virginia doing... 133 00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:55,713 what the heck are they doing? 134 00:05:55,715 --> 00:05:57,881 Fighting a war on the war on drugs? 135 00:05:57,883 --> 00:05:58,916 God damn it. 136 00:05:58,918 --> 00:06:01,018 What, you shoulda looked under the stalls! 137 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:01,986 I did! 138 00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:05,188 - Wait, I did... - Yeah, I usually put my feet up on the grab bars. 139 00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:08,157 Ugh, anyway, this is all obviously unauthorized, 140 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,994 - but I promised Ray we'd cover for him, so... - Oh, no! 141 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:14,364 I'm not getting mixed up in this, and if Ms. Archer asks me -- 142 00:06:14,366 --> 00:06:17,634 Why is it... That every time I need to use the restroom, 143 00:06:17,636 --> 00:06:21,204 you people are in here skulking around looking guilty? 144 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:25,809 - Uh... - I'll tell you why they look guilty... 145 00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:29,012 Because they, or we I guess, don't know how to tell 146 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:33,450 you that the break-in was a lot worse than we thought. 147 00:06:33,452 --> 00:06:34,651 How much worse?! 148 00:06:34,653 --> 00:06:38,622 - Uh, well, it's really hard to say... - But rest assured we are on 149 00:06:38,624 --> 00:06:41,458 it, and Archer is on it, and... we're on it. 150 00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:44,528 Well I want an update in one hour! 151 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:47,464 And why does it always reek of paint? 152 00:06:47,466 --> 00:06:50,400 Well, there she is... The old homestead. 153 00:06:50,402 --> 00:06:51,968 Jesus, what's my dowry? 154 00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:52,735 Tenus? 155 00:06:52,737 --> 00:06:54,304 Ya know what? 156 00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:57,373 That's far enough, you sonsabitches! 157 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,741 Randy, it's me! Ray! 158 00:06:58,743 --> 00:06:59,842 Your brother! 159 00:06:59,844 --> 00:07:00,877 Don't you move. 160 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:01,811 Don't move a inch. 161 00:07:01,813 --> 00:07:03,447 Wh-? What do you mean "don't move"?! 162 00:07:03,449 --> 00:07:04,982 I came home to help, you asshole! 163 00:07:04,984 --> 00:07:07,919 Well you ain't gonna be much help with your legs blown off. 164 00:07:07,921 --> 00:07:09,921 There's mines all in the yard. 165 00:07:09,923 --> 00:07:14,226 Ray, to be honest, I'm having second thoughts about this whole thing -- 166 00:07:14,228 --> 00:07:15,061 Get in line. 167 00:07:15,063 --> 00:07:16,829 Randy Gillet, where are your manners?! 168 00:07:16,831 --> 00:07:20,933 Get these folks the map of that damn minefield so they can come inside. 169 00:07:20,935 --> 00:07:26,139 - I got some nice hot pie for 'em... - Okay, now I'm having third thoughts. 170 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,340 Please don't. 171 00:07:27,342 --> 00:07:29,275 It would be rude not to eat her pie. 172 00:07:29,277 --> 00:07:33,145 Which I assume is not only hot but also moist. 173 00:07:33,147 --> 00:07:35,083 Although hopefully not flaky. 174 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,092 And so E.Z. gimme a choice. 175 00:07:40,094 --> 00:07:43,329 Give him my whole dang operation and get outta the holler by sundown, 176 00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:47,199 or else him and his boys'll just take it, and grind me up into fertilizer. 177 00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:49,468 Well -- But listen to me, just yappin. 178 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:52,437 Tell me bout this pretty new wife of yours! 179 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:56,241 'Cause I'm kinda surprised to see you married. 180 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,209 Homeboy knows what I'm talking about! 181 00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:58,943 He does? 182 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:02,212 A New York City interior decorator? 183 00:08:02,214 --> 00:08:03,647 That's what you went with? 184 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:06,082 Betcher up to yer eyeballs in poontang! 185 00:08:06,084 --> 00:08:09,586 Oh. Yeah, just so many vaginas. 186 00:08:09,588 --> 00:08:13,656 - No offense, darlin... - None taken. 187 00:08:13,658 --> 00:08:16,192 - Want s'more of my pie, Mr. Archer? - No! 188 00:08:16,194 --> 00:08:21,298 Yes! Thank you, Janelle, I would love more of your moist and hot pie. 189 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:25,169 - Well then open wiiide... - Folks, we can't set 190 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,071 around eatin her pie all day. 191 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,573 We got a situation here. 192 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:31,109 So Krieger's running the logs to see if any files were 193 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,143 accessed last night. 194 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:35,012 - Who the hell could have done this? - Who knows? ODIN, the KGB, um... 195 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:39,550 Actually-- But this'll take hours so 196 00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,419 we'll just bring you a report when he's done! 197 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,720 Actually -- Krieger! 198 00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:43,588 More type, less gripe. 199 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,523 And has anyone heard from Sterling? 200 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,724 No, yes! 201 00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,326 He's out... on the case. 202 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:52,096 Well, I want some answers, and soon. 203 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,232 And since there's nothing in these logs, 204 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,468 I too would like some answers. 205 00:08:56,470 --> 00:09:00,306 - So, here's the thing... - If I can just get what I 206 00:09:00,308 --> 00:09:02,508 got to my distributor, I can retire. 207 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,511 Maybe move up to New York City with you. 208 00:09:04,513 --> 00:09:06,480 I -- what, where, do what?! 209 00:09:06,482 --> 00:09:07,714 I'm kiddin. 210 00:09:07,716 --> 00:09:10,450 Last thing you want's your redneck brother hangin around... 211 00:09:10,452 --> 00:09:14,387 No, it's not that, it's -- Plus I'd rather kill myself. 212 00:09:14,389 --> 00:09:17,591 Nothin up there but a buncha you-know-whats. 213 00:09:17,593 --> 00:09:18,858 There are a lot of 'em. 214 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:21,728 Don't see how you stand it. 215 00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:24,364 - Anyhow... - Dude. 216 00:09:24,366 --> 00:09:25,131 Awesome. 217 00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:26,066 Sweet gracious God. 218 00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:27,767 This here's what E.Z. 219 00:09:27,769 --> 00:09:28,735 wants. 220 00:09:28,737 --> 00:09:31,438 - How did you afford all this?! - Farm subsidy. 221 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,608 He told the government he's growin corn, for that high-flooktose syrup. 222 00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:37,544 But damned if I'm gonna contribute to the obesity epidemic. 223 00:09:37,546 --> 00:09:39,379 A man's gotta have a code. 224 00:09:39,381 --> 00:09:40,146 Right? 225 00:09:40,148 --> 00:09:43,683 I put my heart and soul into this, but now it's either roll over 226 00:09:43,685 --> 00:09:47,020 for that sheriff like a dog, or fight. 227 00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:48,989 Like a different, better dog. 228 00:09:48,991 --> 00:09:50,123 So is it just E.Z. 229 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:53,227 coming, or -- No, the whole sheriff's department. 230 00:09:53,229 --> 00:09:58,532 I'd say twenty men, AR-15's, maybe grenades, uh... oh, dogs. 231 00:09:58,534 --> 00:09:59,166 Duh. 232 00:09:59,168 --> 00:10:00,834 Ray, I'm having fourth thoughts. 233 00:10:00,836 --> 00:10:03,503 Well I got a few tricks up my sleeve. 234 00:10:03,505 --> 00:10:07,741 Janelle, why dontcha take Mr. Archer and show him the defensive perimeter. 235 00:10:07,743 --> 00:10:10,744 - I'd be delighted... - No, no, wait a second -- 236 00:10:10,746 --> 00:10:12,112 - Fifth thoughts! - Archer! 237 00:10:12,114 --> 00:10:14,114 Don't worry, she won't bite. 238 00:10:14,116 --> 00:10:16,250 But speakin of, it's about suppertime. 239 00:10:16,252 --> 00:10:17,985 You still partial to fried chicken? 240 00:10:17,987 --> 00:10:20,020 I -- I'll cook it! 241 00:10:20,022 --> 00:10:22,556 If somebody shaves it or whatever. 242 00:10:22,558 --> 00:10:23,590 What in the...? 243 00:10:23,592 --> 00:10:24,691 Janelle?! Janelle! 244 00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:26,426 Randy! Wait! 245 00:10:26,428 --> 00:10:27,327 Dukes! 246 00:10:27,329 --> 00:10:31,098 So is there like, special chickenshaving cream, or...? 247 00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,400 I -- first of all, that's a rooster! 248 00:10:33,402 --> 00:10:36,304 Yeah, like Kenny Rogers' Roosters -- Roasters! 249 00:10:36,306 --> 00:10:38,239 Randy, wait! 250 00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:39,641 Bawk bawk. 251 00:10:39,643 --> 00:10:41,877 And just what the hell is this?! 252 00:10:41,879 --> 00:10:46,349 Well, I'll tell you what it's not, which is, um, what it looks like. 253 00:10:46,351 --> 00:10:49,252 I got caught on the fence, then Mr. Archer tried to get me loose, and -- 254 00:10:49,254 --> 00:10:52,421 You better git yer ass in that house. 255 00:10:52,423 --> 00:10:54,724 Do you wanna have sex with my wife? 256 00:10:54,726 --> 00:10:59,395 No I swear, this was just an extremely unlikely mishap with the barbed wire. 257 00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:03,432 'Cause we would be amenable to that. Well? 258 00:11:03,434 --> 00:11:04,467 Why you look so nonplussed? 259 00:11:04,469 --> 00:11:08,070 Because I wasn't sure if you knew what amenable actually meant. 260 00:11:08,072 --> 00:11:10,440 Until you followed it up with nonplussed. 261 00:11:10,442 --> 00:11:13,410 See, me and Janelle got us one of them open marriages? 262 00:11:13,412 --> 00:11:14,544 Like in France? 263 00:11:14,546 --> 00:11:15,946 Oh right, in Europe. 264 00:11:15,948 --> 00:11:20,718 And I would really like that open marriage to include Ray's new wife. 265 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:21,319 What?! 266 00:11:21,321 --> 00:11:23,321 - Now look, that's in the bible. - Really? 267 00:11:23,323 --> 00:11:25,990 - Genesis thirty-eight, verse eight. - Really? 268 00:11:25,992 --> 00:11:28,259 But even though Ray used to be a preacher he was never 269 00:11:28,261 --> 00:11:30,260 big on the Old Testament -- I could see that. 270 00:11:30,262 --> 00:11:32,329 So I doubt he'd wanna reciprocate. 271 00:11:32,331 --> 00:11:36,833 So I just need you to keep him busy while I have sex with his wife... 272 00:11:36,835 --> 00:11:40,470 And then I get to have sex with-- My wife, you son of a bitch! 273 00:11:40,472 --> 00:11:43,606 Yeah, I think I got -- So where the hell's your damn pants?! 274 00:11:43,608 --> 00:11:44,674 They're on the fence. 275 00:11:44,676 --> 00:11:45,941 Goddammit, Archer! 276 00:11:45,943 --> 00:11:47,977 Wait, hang on -- Archer shut up! 277 00:11:47,979 --> 00:11:54,952 Ray, he was -- and poor Janelle was -- I gotta go make sure she's okay! 278 00:11:54,954 --> 00:11:57,588 And you better have a talk with him! 279 00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:59,324 I will, Randy, I'm sorry. 280 00:11:59,326 --> 00:12:00,558 A good long talk. 281 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:04,863 Like, talk for about forty, forty-five minutes. 282 00:12:04,865 --> 00:12:06,631 Okay, so -- Stop! 283 00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:12,370 I have never, in my entire life, been as disgusted as I am at this moment. 284 00:12:12,372 --> 00:12:16,373 - Well, give it a minute... - What do you mean, a cyber-attack?! 285 00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:20,644 Apparently the uders downloaded a virus into the mainframe... 286 00:12:20,646 --> 00:12:22,779 So this all needs to come out. 287 00:12:22,781 --> 00:12:24,647 The mainframe is like Krieger's baby. 288 00:12:24,649 --> 00:12:26,115 How'd you get him to go in on this? 289 00:12:26,117 --> 00:12:29,686 I told him I'd get Pam to fight in his Ultimate Bum Shockfights. 290 00:12:29,688 --> 00:12:33,924 Is it called that because paying homeless men to fight is shocking? 291 00:12:33,926 --> 00:12:35,393 Noop. 292 00:12:35,395 --> 00:12:38,162 Well, hello there, game-changer. 293 00:12:38,164 --> 00:12:39,731 He what?! 294 00:12:39,733 --> 00:12:41,166 Yeah, apparently it's in the bible? 295 00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:42,134 No, it isn't! 296 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,670 It did sound too cool for the bible. 297 00:12:44,672 --> 00:12:45,605 But why do you care? 298 00:12:45,607 --> 00:12:48,675 A, you're gay, and B, you and Carol aren't really married. 299 00:12:48,677 --> 00:12:50,510 But Randy thinks we are! 300 00:12:50,512 --> 00:12:52,879 Yeah, but -- that's actually a really good point. 301 00:12:52,881 --> 00:12:55,548 I'm gonna beat him like a rented mule! 302 00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:58,518 Now that sounds like something from the bible. 303 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,320 - She in there? - Yeah, where's mine at? 304 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:01,821 Up'n the woods with Ray. 305 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,689 You gotta wait til later, maybe after supper. 306 00:13:03,691 --> 00:13:05,491 Remember, no kissing. 307 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:08,960 I was -- that is the wierdest rule. 308 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:09,961 I know, right? 309 00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,263 Some honeymoon. 310 00:13:11,265 --> 00:13:13,432 Oh hey, do I do the face? 311 00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:16,035 And where the hell is Sterling when I need him? 312 00:13:16,037 --> 00:13:18,070 You've reached Sterling Archer's voicemail. 313 00:13:18,072 --> 00:13:19,438 Please leave a message. 314 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,942 Wh-? Finally, a non-idiotic greeting! 315 00:13:22,944 --> 00:13:27,413 Sterling, I want an update, so call me the instant you get this mess -- 316 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,317 - The voice mailbox of... - Sterling Archer. 317 00:13:30,319 --> 00:13:32,620 ...is full. Goodbye. 318 00:13:32,622 --> 00:13:37,826 Idiot. 319 00:13:37,828 --> 00:13:40,530 C'mere, you skinny-legged sumbitch! 320 00:13:40,532 --> 00:13:41,698 Oh! Sorry. 321 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,800 That's okay, they're not my best feature. 322 00:13:43,802 --> 00:13:45,502 No, I was -- Not important. 323 00:13:45,504 --> 00:13:48,505 What is important is that Randy gave me a bible lesson? 324 00:13:48,507 --> 00:13:49,406 Yeah? 325 00:13:49,408 --> 00:13:50,908 And what'd the bible say? 326 00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:54,011 Well, Janelle, obviously the actual scripture 327 00:13:54,013 --> 00:13:57,047 is open to interpretation, but what I took away from it, 328 00:13:57,049 --> 00:14:00,685 is that we should go in the barn and screw our brains out on a 329 00:14:00,687 --> 00:14:02,019 huge pile of marijuana. 330 00:14:02,021 --> 00:14:05,522 It didn't say nothin about a rubber, did it? 331 00:14:05,524 --> 00:14:07,824 It did not! 332 00:14:07,826 --> 00:14:09,560 Ray's still up in the woods, right? 333 00:14:09,562 --> 00:14:10,727 Uh... oh. 334 00:14:10,729 --> 00:14:14,731 No, he actually said he wanted to talk to -- Randy! 335 00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:16,467 Whoa whoa whoa now hang on a second! 336 00:14:16,469 --> 00:14:20,003 You wife-swappin white trash piece of -- Ray, no! 337 00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:21,839 Randy! 338 00:14:21,841 --> 00:14:23,607 Yes. Randy. 339 00:14:23,609 --> 00:14:26,186 Which I probably should've mentioned earlier. 340 00:14:27,379 --> 00:14:28,621 Don't judge me. 341 00:14:29,374 --> 00:14:30,703 Food. 342 00:14:33,322 --> 00:14:34,985 You lucky I didn't kill you. 343 00:14:34,709 --> 00:14:36,163 You're lucky I didn't kill you! 344 00:14:36,289 --> 00:14:37,722 While you were in bed with my wife! 345 00:14:37,724 --> 00:14:39,990 Our marriage was never consummated! 346 00:14:39,992 --> 00:14:42,293 - And I think we all know why... - Stop! 347 00:14:42,295 --> 00:14:44,929 Carol! Look, there's plenty of blame to go around here. 348 00:14:44,931 --> 00:14:48,132 I mean, I don't think I deserve any, but-- You were gonna screw her! 349 00:14:48,134 --> 00:14:49,933 Yeah so, is that still on, or...? 350 00:14:49,935 --> 00:14:51,035 Wh-?! 351 00:14:51,037 --> 00:14:52,402 Carol? Wh-?! 352 00:14:52,404 --> 00:14:54,104 Well, somebody. C'mon, promises were made. 353 00:14:54,106 --> 00:14:57,439 Just like you promised Mama'n Deddy you'd always take care of me! 354 00:14:57,441 --> 00:14:58,405 And here we go! 355 00:14:58,407 --> 00:15:00,941 But they weren't even cold in the ground before you 356 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,142 were galivantin around Europe! 357 00:15:02,144 --> 00:15:03,710 It was the Olympics! 358 00:15:03,712 --> 00:15:04,845 Which you lost! 359 00:15:04,847 --> 00:15:06,813 Bronze medal! Is not losing! 360 00:15:06,815 --> 00:15:09,082 And then it was off to New York City! 361 00:15:09,084 --> 00:15:10,317 You can just say New York. 362 00:15:10,319 --> 00:15:13,187 To be a hoity-toity interior decorator! 363 00:15:13,189 --> 00:15:14,655 You can just say decorator. 364 00:15:14,657 --> 00:15:17,725 Whatever, I don't know why I thought he could help save my farm! 365 00:15:17,727 --> 00:15:19,260 Because your job?! 366 00:15:19,262 --> 00:15:21,229 That's a job for sissies! 367 00:15:21,231 --> 00:15:22,197 Oh yeah?! 368 00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:23,198 Well guess what! 369 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,032 Ray! 370 00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:26,268 Is not an interior decorator. 371 00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:27,803 I -- no, ya know what? 372 00:15:27,805 --> 00:15:28,704 Yes, shut up. 373 00:15:28,706 --> 00:15:32,041 Randy, your seemingly effeminate brother is actually a 374 00:15:32,043 --> 00:15:33,475 highly-trained secret agent. 375 00:15:33,477 --> 00:15:34,243 Pshh! 376 00:15:34,245 --> 00:15:39,982 Yeah, and I'm... something equally hard to believe is true. 377 00:15:39,984 --> 00:15:41,951 It is true. That's why I married him. 378 00:15:41,953 --> 00:15:43,218 Well, and the bronze medal. 379 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:44,019 Prove it. 380 00:15:44,021 --> 00:15:45,521 What do you want, a business card? 381 00:15:45,523 --> 00:15:48,357 Where do you think he got a duffel bag full of assault weapons? 382 00:15:48,359 --> 00:15:51,494 - Well, y'all do live in New York City... - Just New York. 383 00:15:51,496 --> 00:15:53,529 Ray? Is he tellin the truth? 384 00:15:53,531 --> 00:15:54,964 Mostly. 385 00:15:54,966 --> 00:15:59,869 So... cause you're a spy, is that why you never come back to visit? 386 00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:01,337 Mostly. 387 00:16:01,339 --> 00:16:05,108 And here all this time I thought it was cause you were ashamed of us. 388 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:07,611 Oh c'mon now, why would you think that? 389 00:16:07,613 --> 00:16:09,346 I found a buncha your old diaries. 390 00:16:09,348 --> 00:16:12,315 Well, obviously not the one with the Miss Piggy on it. 391 00:16:12,317 --> 00:16:13,750 No, Deddy said he burned that one. 392 00:16:13,752 --> 00:16:17,687 - Ugh, great... - And I'm sorry I screwed your wife. 393 00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:21,257 And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I was ashamed of you. 394 00:16:21,259 --> 00:16:24,427 The important thing is you came back to help me. 395 00:16:24,429 --> 00:16:27,030 C'mon, that's what family's all ab -- 396 00:16:27,032 --> 00:16:28,431 - Dukes! - Shit! 397 00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:29,432 Dammit! 398 00:16:29,434 --> 00:16:30,433 Randy Gillet! 399 00:16:30,435 --> 00:16:33,035 This is Sheriff E.Z. Ponder! 400 00:16:33,037 --> 00:16:35,237 You come out there with your hands up! 401 00:16:35,239 --> 00:16:37,072 That sonuvabitch is early! 402 00:16:37,074 --> 00:16:37,906 I dunno, "sundown" 403 00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:41,109 sounds more colloquial than like, an actual -- Well, if you wanna back 404 00:16:41,111 --> 00:16:43,144 out on me, now's probly the time to do that. 405 00:16:43,146 --> 00:16:47,448 Randy, you may be a racist, homophobic, wife-swapping drug dealer -- 406 00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:48,049 Farmer. 407 00:16:48,051 --> 00:16:50,652 -- but nobody murders my brother. 408 00:16:50,654 --> 00:16:53,187 The Gillet boys, side by side! 409 00:16:53,189 --> 00:16:54,822 Janelle, cover that winder yonder! 410 00:16:54,824 --> 00:16:59,828 Archer, you got a little fight in ya? 411 00:17:02,165 --> 00:17:05,367 Yeah, I'm pretty furious about not getting to bang Janelle. 412 00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:08,136 Plus I wanna unleash the power of moonshine. 413 00:17:08,138 --> 00:17:10,939 Then grab a gun and cover that winder! 414 00:17:10,941 --> 00:17:12,241 What should I do?! 415 00:17:12,243 --> 00:17:14,110 I got some red hot pokers layin in that fire! 416 00:17:14,112 --> 00:17:17,413 If anybody gets hit, you grab one and slap iron to it! 417 00:17:17,415 --> 00:17:21,317 - Awesome... - And remember, it's us or them. 418 00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:23,153 So this is how it's gonna be, huh?! 419 00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:25,289 Randy, I didn't want it like this! 420 00:17:25,291 --> 00:17:27,458 C'mon, I tried to reason with ya! 421 00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:31,137 Reason with this! 422 00:17:31,139 --> 00:17:32,074 A'ight then! 423 00:17:32,076 --> 00:17:33,175 Light 'em up! 424 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,747 - Ow! - Janelle! Are ya hit?! 425 00:17:38,749 --> 00:17:43,952 Naw, a piece of -- waaaaaghhhhhh! 426 00:17:43,954 --> 00:17:46,088 Well don't just set there! Shoot! 427 00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:47,756 Ugh, I can't. 428 00:17:47,758 --> 00:17:50,825 I feel sick, what's happening, do I have cancer again? 429 00:17:50,827 --> 00:17:52,294 You drank too much! 430 00:17:52,296 --> 00:17:53,995 That's a thing? 431 00:17:53,997 --> 00:17:57,632 Looks like it's just you and me, brother. 432 00:17:57,634 --> 00:18:00,236 Randy, you don't have to do this! 433 00:18:00,238 --> 00:18:01,571 They'll go easy on you! 434 00:18:01,573 --> 00:18:03,640 Hell, the judge is my wife's cousin! 435 00:18:03,642 --> 00:18:05,509 I bet he'll give you probation! 436 00:18:05,511 --> 00:18:06,277 Oh please! 437 00:18:06,279 --> 00:18:09,479 You're gonna murder him so you can take over his dope farm! 438 00:18:09,481 --> 00:18:10,581 What?! 439 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,782 Cease fire! 440 00:18:11,784 --> 00:18:13,117 Hold your fire! 441 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:17,021 Why in the world would you think that I, a peace officer 442 00:18:17,023 --> 00:18:20,156 sworn to uphold the law, would wanna murder your brother 443 00:18:20,158 --> 00:18:21,658 to get his marijuana farm? 444 00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,994 I -- because that's what Randy said! 445 00:18:23,996 --> 00:18:26,663 - Randy's a drug dealer! - Farmer! 446 00:18:26,665 --> 00:18:28,197 And I tried to get him to quit. 447 00:18:28,199 --> 00:18:32,168 I come to him as a friend, I come to him as an elder of the church, 448 00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,369 but he wouldn't give it up. 449 00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:35,838 And so now I gotta come to him as the law. 450 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,841 And you accuse me of plannin a murder?! 451 00:18:38,843 --> 00:18:41,543 Well, you did used to pick on me a bunch. 452 00:18:41,545 --> 00:18:45,314 Well I'm sorry, I was a dick in high school. 453 00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:48,684 But you gotta admit, you were extremely pick-on-able. 454 00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:52,254 There's nothing wrong with Capezios! 455 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:55,525 Randy, is he telling the truth? 456 00:18:55,527 --> 00:18:57,094 - Mostly. - Randy! 457 00:18:57,096 --> 00:18:59,097 You almost got me and my friends killed! 458 00:18:59,099 --> 00:19:02,134 Because you could never be bothered to get a real job! 459 00:19:02,136 --> 00:19:04,369 Well?! I only got to ninth grade! 460 00:19:04,371 --> 00:19:07,638 How the hell else was I supposed to earn a livin?! Diggin seng?! 461 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,308 There is a perfectly good coal mine not a half-mile from here. 462 00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:15,678 And maybe you wouldn't get rich, but at least it's an honest living. 463 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,980 Yeah but it's hard. 464 00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:20,115 So's this. 465 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,550 - Randy! - Shut up. 466 00:19:21,552 --> 00:19:22,784 And Mama never liked you. 467 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:23,986 Easy, don't shoot! 468 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,188 I'm comin out! 469 00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:28,691 Phrasing. 470 00:19:28,693 --> 00:19:31,327 Here's the files you had me pull. 471 00:19:31,329 --> 00:19:32,061 Oww! 472 00:19:32,063 --> 00:19:33,863 What the hell is on your hands?! 473 00:19:33,865 --> 00:19:35,598 My bum-zappers. 474 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,601 For the shockfights? 475 00:19:37,603 --> 00:19:41,338 Th I'm doing for Krieger, which is why he broke the server, to help Lana cover 476 00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:44,575 up that Ray and Mr. Archer are killing cops for a drug dealer and also Ray's 477 00:19:44,577 --> 00:19:46,432 been faking that he's paralyzed? 478 00:19:47,513 --> 00:19:49,846 Lanaaaa! 479 00:19:49,848 --> 00:19:53,149 Or are we not telling you that? 480 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:58,187 No, thank God you guys got here before they started killing hostages! 481 00:19:58,189 --> 00:19:59,922 Which would have been us! 482 00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:01,022 As the hostages! 483 00:20:01,024 --> 00:20:02,891 You lyin-ass bitch! 484 00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:05,961 She's mad because I slept with Randy. 485 00:20:05,963 --> 00:20:09,198 To get food for my fellow hostages. 486 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,601 So, you really think you can fix it so I just get probation? 487 00:20:12,603 --> 00:20:14,304 Oh God no, I just said that. 488 00:20:14,306 --> 00:20:18,342 All these drugs and weapons, attempted murder of police officers, 489 00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:20,611 you'll probably die in prison. 490 00:20:20,613 --> 00:20:23,615 Oh. Will you come visit me? 491 00:20:23,617 --> 00:20:24,616 Probably not. 492 00:20:24,618 --> 00:20:26,251 Cause you're a spy and all? 493 00:20:26,253 --> 00:20:28,720 Uh -- He's a highly-trained secret agent. 494 00:20:28,722 --> 00:20:29,988 Is that right. 495 00:20:29,990 --> 00:20:35,427 Well listen here... If you ever find your way back up in the holler... 496 00:20:35,429 --> 00:20:36,829 gimme a call. 497 00:20:36,831 --> 00:20:40,432 I think I got myself an extra pair of Capezios layin 498 00:20:40,434 --> 00:20:42,168 around somewheres. 499 00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:43,736 Uh-?! 500 00:20:43,738 --> 00:20:45,873 O.K. - should I just 911? 501 00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:48,241 A'ight, let's move em out! 502 00:20:48,243 --> 00:20:49,342 Well that's just great. 503 00:20:49,344 --> 00:20:52,632 Everybody gets laid in the holler but me. 504 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,667 Oh. And you, I guess. 505 00:20:55,943 --> 00:20:57,614 Since I ate your husband. 506 00:20:58,884 --> 00:21:00,119 ***. 507 00:21:01,305 --> 00:21:07,266 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org