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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:19,374 --> 00:00:20,774
WD-40, Mother.
3
00:00:20,776 --> 00:00:22,196
Costs like, a nickel.
4
00:00:22,316 --> 00:00:26,383
Or maybe you could swallow your pride
and just apologize to your super.
5
00:00:26,385 --> 00:00:30,388
Oh, and to me, for ruining my Friday
night, which is now being spent here.
6
00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:33,490
So what, why the frantic phone call?
7
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:34,459
Hello?
8
00:00:34,579 --> 00:00:36,160
Malory? Why did you call us?
9
00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:39,232
Because if it was -- oh.
10
00:00:39,234 --> 00:00:43,204
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume
it had something to do with that.
11
00:00:43,206 --> 00:00:45,207
It's not what it looks like.
12
00:00:45,209 --> 00:00:46,976
Oh, well that's a relief.
13
00:00:46,978 --> 00:00:50,213
Because it looks like you're
sitting here with a gun.
14
00:00:50,215 --> 00:00:52,851
And over there, strapped to
a chair and shot to death,
15
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:55,720
is a guy in a full-body latex catsuit!
16
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,390
Or am I misreading the situation?!
17
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,060
Well...
technically it's a zentai.
18
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:01,794
Wh-...?!
19
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:04,563
A zentai covers
the face and head.
20
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,902
- I think a catsuit just stops here...
- Give me that.
21
00:01:07,904 --> 00:01:09,537
I didn't shoot him.
22
00:01:09,539 --> 00:01:12,474
So, you're saying the fact that
your gun has recently been fired, is --
23
00:01:12,476 --> 00:01:14,309
-- is unrelated to
the dead guy over there,
24
00:01:14,311 --> 00:01:15,945
who's chock full of bullets!
25
00:01:15,947 --> 00:01:19,183
- Well, obviously they're related...
- Yeah, do that,
26
00:01:19,185 --> 00:01:19,917
take that tone.
27
00:01:19,919 --> 00:01:22,254
But I swear,
I didn't shoot him!
28
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:22,922
Okay.
29
00:01:22,924 --> 00:01:25,992
So I guess he walked in here already
shot, obviously panicking,
30
00:01:25,994 --> 00:01:28,495
so you had to restrain him
with these leather cuffs,
31
00:01:28,497 --> 00:01:31,265
and then to keep pressure on
the wounds you greased him up
32
00:01:31,267 --> 00:01:33,168
- and squeezed him into this...
- Zentai!
33
00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:35,604
And of course not, you ass!
34
00:01:35,606 --> 00:01:38,073
Someone broke in here and shot him!
35
00:01:38,075 --> 00:01:39,174
Okay, Malory?
36
00:01:39,176 --> 00:01:42,243
Well, unless it was the
creepy-old people-bondage-sex police,
37
00:01:42,245 --> 00:01:47,581
why would anyone break
in here and shoot him?!
38
00:01:47,583 --> 00:01:48,816
No answer?
39
00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,784
Okay, let's ask him!
40
00:01:50,786 --> 00:01:52,486
Ho-lee shit.
41
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:55,789
Because he's Savio Mascalzone.
42
00:01:55,791 --> 00:01:58,391
- Um...
- Oh for -- the prime minister of Italy?
43
00:01:58,393 --> 00:01:59,525
The what?!
44
00:01:59,527 --> 00:02:01,094
And wait, doesn't Italy use a king?
45
00:02:01,096 --> 00:02:01,661
Wh-?
46
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,729
No, they don't "use a king!"
47
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,832
What year do you think this is?
48
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:07,768
I -- yeah,
exactly, good question.
49
00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:11,006
- And uh, speaking of questions...
- No no no, don't --
50
00:02:11,008 --> 00:02:14,810
what're you -- don't go back there, Sterling, I--
I have a question!
51
00:02:14,812 --> 00:02:15,444
Mother!
52
00:02:15,446 --> 00:02:18,515
Why does this chair have no seat!
53
00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:20,651
And what!
54
00:02:20,653 --> 00:02:26,625
Is in his ass?!
55
00:02:28,077 --> 00:02:38,343
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
56
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:03,585
Mother!
57
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,605
What is in this man's ass?!
58
00:03:05,607 --> 00:03:10,109
Oh please, don't act like you've
never seen a... "marital aid" before.
59
00:03:10,111 --> 00:03:12,579
Not in a dead
prime minister's ass!
60
00:03:12,581 --> 00:03:14,147
And you don't have
to keep repeating it!
61
00:03:14,149 --> 00:03:16,216
We've established where it is!
62
00:03:16,218 --> 00:03:18,718
Yeah so, you
wanna move on to why?
63
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,752
Wait, not why that!
64
00:03:19,754 --> 00:03:21,988
Why he's here!
65
00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:25,758
Savio and I met after the war,
when I was in Italy with Gladio.
66
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,459
Who's that, his brother?!
67
00:03:27,461 --> 00:03:29,227
No, it --
Ewwwww!
68
00:03:29,229 --> 00:03:30,962
Are you finished?
69
00:03:30,964 --> 00:03:33,898
Hang on, ew, now I'm done.
70
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,066
Operation Gladio.
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00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:39,570
It was a NATO stay-behind mission, set
up to counter a possible Soviet invasion
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00:03:39,572 --> 00:03:40,671
of Western Europe.
73
00:03:40,673 --> 00:03:44,908
But then it sort of turned into
this whole weird cryptofascist CIA
74
00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:48,211
shitshow, starring Allen Dulles
and a bunch of former Nazis.
75
00:03:48,213 --> 00:03:50,347
Thanks, Holly Hindsight.
76
00:03:50,349 --> 00:03:54,719
Anyway, Savio was in Italian intelligence--
Rimshot.
77
00:03:54,721 --> 00:03:57,122
-- shut up, and we were
working all these late nights,
78
00:03:57,124 --> 00:03:59,925
there was a mutual attraction,
one thing led to another...
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00:03:59,927 --> 00:04:02,228
- Please skip ahead...
- And then he got married
80
00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:03,729
and went into politics.
81
00:04:03,731 --> 00:04:06,232
But ever since then, once a
year he'd slip away and
82
00:04:06,234 --> 00:04:08,568
we'd spend a romantic weekend together.
83
00:04:08,570 --> 00:04:11,103
Well, you nailed it!
84
00:04:11,105 --> 00:04:13,572
I mean, if this doesn't
just scream romance...!
85
00:04:13,574 --> 00:04:14,873
- Archer...
- What, Lana?!
86
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:17,475
What's more romantic than a
dildo-party-slash-murder?!
87
00:04:17,477 --> 00:04:21,011
A murder I'm trying to get a handle
on, so could you shut up a second?!
88
00:04:21,013 --> 00:04:22,746
And he wasn't always into that!
89
00:04:22,748 --> 00:04:24,181
You mean vice versa?
90
00:04:24,183 --> 00:04:25,549
Shut up!
91
00:04:25,551 --> 00:04:30,487
As he grew older, Savio's tastes
became more and more... exotic.
92
00:04:30,489 --> 00:04:35,426
And so he started introducing all these...
accoutrements very gradually.
93
00:04:35,428 --> 00:04:36,495
Well, he'd have to.
94
00:04:36,497 --> 00:04:37,662
Thing's huge.
95
00:04:37,664 --> 00:04:38,697
Ow! Ow!
96
00:04:38,699 --> 00:04:42,901
Okay, okay, I -- okay!
God, your hands are like cricket bats.
97
00:04:42,903 --> 00:04:43,702
Shut up.
98
00:04:43,704 --> 00:04:45,938
So Malory, what happened, can
you walk us through the crime?
99
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:49,942
Just the crime of murder, not
the crime of sodomy-by-rubber-eggplant.
100
00:04:49,944 --> 00:04:52,444
Savio was in town
to give a speech at the UN.
101
00:04:52,446 --> 00:04:55,614
We'd made plans to meet here, so
he gave his handlers the slip
102
00:04:55,616 --> 00:04:58,717
and arrived here at about... seven.
103
00:04:58,719 --> 00:05:01,887
We caught up over a
glass or two of champagne.
104
00:05:01,889 --> 00:05:07,025
Then I freshened up while Savio
got changed and... situated.
105
00:05:07,027 --> 00:05:11,697
- So he put the, uh, in his own...
- Yes, hush.
106
00:05:11,699 --> 00:05:15,368
I came out of the bedroom...
Savio, sei pronto?
107
00:05:15,370 --> 00:05:18,171
Si, cara mia, molto pronto!
108
00:05:18,173 --> 00:05:21,975
I crossed over to the chair,
and tightened his last restraint...
109
00:05:21,977 --> 00:05:23,243
Oho!
110
00:05:23,245 --> 00:05:25,412
Mi fai pazzo con libido!
111
00:05:25,414 --> 00:05:30,518
Then I went to refill my champagne--
Savio loved to be kept waiting --
112
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,753
and then bang!
113
00:05:31,755 --> 00:05:33,722
In burst three men!
114
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:34,856
Aaaaaghh! Oof!
115
00:05:34,858 --> 00:05:35,857
Che cosa?!
116
00:05:35,859 --> 00:05:37,793
Cara mia, che --
Savio!
117
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:40,662
Andiamo! Subito!
118
00:05:40,664 --> 00:05:44,299
Wait, whoa, whoa, back up--
Why did you have a gun?!
119
00:05:44,301 --> 00:05:49,337
Hm? Oh, well, Savio liked
it to seem a little... dangerous.
120
00:05:49,339 --> 00:05:49,804
You know?
121
00:05:49,806 --> 00:05:50,672
No, Mother, I don't!
122
00:05:50,674 --> 00:05:52,640
Jesus, what else was
on tonight's menu?!
123
00:05:52,642 --> 00:05:54,909
Sex under a hive of Africanized bees?!
124
00:05:54,911 --> 00:05:56,277
Archer!
125
00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,814
- So, you fired three times...
- And missed!
126
00:05:59,816 --> 00:06:01,082
Can you believe it?
127
00:06:01,084 --> 00:06:01,816
No.
128
00:06:01,818 --> 00:06:04,585
Oh, sorry, was that rhetorical?
129
00:06:04,587 --> 00:06:06,054
Lawyer up, call the cops.
130
00:06:06,056 --> 00:06:07,322
What?!
131
00:06:07,324 --> 00:06:10,825
Oh, and hit the throttle on the
bourbon, because I'm gonna have to...
132
00:06:10,827 --> 00:06:12,493
I'm gonna have to bust you
in the face a couple times.
133
00:06:12,495 --> 00:06:13,995
What are you talking about?!
134
00:06:13,997 --> 00:06:14,796
Self-defense!
135
00:06:14,798 --> 00:06:15,964
It's your only shot!
136
00:06:15,966 --> 00:06:19,068
We gotta uncuff him and...
de-dildo him, obviously.
137
00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:22,305
Smash the furniture like he was
chasing you around all rapey,
138
00:06:22,307 --> 00:06:26,009
fortunately he's Italian so that
shouldn't be too hard a sell, then --
139
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:27,277
I! Didn't! Shoot him!
140
00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:30,347
On purpose, exactly,
the gun just went off.
141
00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:33,317
But you probably wanna play
that a lot softer with a jury.
142
00:06:33,319 --> 00:06:34,318
A jury?!
143
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,919
When you don't believe me?!
144
00:06:35,921 --> 00:06:38,455
Mother, come on, I
mean I want to believe you...
145
00:06:38,457 --> 00:06:42,059
But those bullet holes don't
prove anyone else was ever here.
146
00:06:42,061 --> 00:06:46,731
- Well, maybe those don't...
- Puttana!
147
00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:47,665
Ungh!
148
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:48,399
What?!
149
00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:49,967
You got -- Malory, you got shot!
150
00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:51,736
Yes, I know dear, I was there.
151
00:06:51,738 --> 00:06:53,271
Well, lemme see,
take off your coat!
152
00:06:53,273 --> 00:06:55,006
No! I'm fine, it's
just a through-and-through.
153
00:06:55,008 --> 00:06:56,508
Mother! Malory!
154
00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:57,943
What, I put Bactine on it!
155
00:06:57,945 --> 00:06:58,710
Mother!
156
00:06:58,712 --> 00:06:59,411
Sterling!
157
00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:02,515
The Italian prime minister was
just assassinated in my apartment!
158
00:07:02,517 --> 00:07:05,151
And so I think an apology is in order!
159
00:07:05,153 --> 00:07:07,354
Thanks, I know
that's hard for you.
160
00:07:07,356 --> 00:07:07,787
Wh-?
161
00:07:07,789 --> 00:07:09,857
You two owe me an apology!
162
00:07:09,859 --> 00:07:10,591
For what?!
163
00:07:10,593 --> 00:07:11,759
Not believing me!
164
00:07:11,761 --> 00:07:14,628
How about for you
dragging us into your S&M--
165
00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:17,097
dildo-sex-murder freak show?!
166
00:07:17,099 --> 00:07:19,199
I -- look --
You look!
167
00:07:19,201 --> 00:07:22,069
I bet I'll never be able to have sex
again without thinking about this!
168
00:07:22,071 --> 00:07:25,305
I bet I won't even be able to
eat spaghetti and meatballs!
169
00:07:25,307 --> 00:07:26,106
Oh my God.
170
00:07:26,108 --> 00:07:27,107
What? What?
171
00:07:27,109 --> 00:07:28,509
I could eat.
172
00:07:28,511 --> 00:07:31,344
I mean, not necessarily spaghetti
and meatballs, but...
173
00:07:31,346 --> 00:07:34,639
Not necessarily not
spaghetti and meatballs.
174
00:07:34,759 --> 00:07:36,486
I mean I really like
spaghetti and meatballs.
175
00:07:36,969 --> 00:07:39,934
Man if I don't get some spaghetti
and meatballs, I may literally die.
176
00:07:42,993 --> 00:07:45,896
- Oh, and thanks so much...
- You're welcome.
177
00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:48,899
But you should wait'll you try it,
I'm just kinda winging it here.
178
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:51,069
I meant for
dragging me into this.
179
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,404
Still welcome.
180
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:52,904
So.
181
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:55,540
We've got dead Italian prime minister
in the living room, which --
182
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,409
Sucks, I bet he
knew how to make sauce.
183
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,411
Which will be hard to explain.
184
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:03,015
Especially given the circumstances
leading up to his death, which were --
185
00:08:03,017 --> 00:08:03,816
Dildoey.
186
00:08:03,818 --> 00:08:04,784
Unseemly!
187
00:08:04,786 --> 00:08:09,188
- Potato podildo...
- So "plausible deniability"
188
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:11,291
isn't a super-realistic goal here.
189
00:08:11,293 --> 00:08:13,193
So we need to sneak
the body out somehow.
190
00:08:13,195 --> 00:08:15,896
Sure, we'll just walk a
dead body right out the front door!
191
00:08:15,898 --> 00:08:16,763
Idiot!
192
00:08:16,765 --> 00:08:17,531
What, then?!
193
00:08:17,533 --> 00:08:18,632
Burn the apartment down?!
194
00:08:18,634 --> 00:08:21,268
We're not burning
down my apartment!
195
00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:21,902
You sure?
196
00:08:21,904 --> 00:08:23,804
Shut up, I hit
broil instead of bake.
197
00:08:23,806 --> 00:08:25,673
Well, blood loss
can make you stupid.
198
00:08:25,675 --> 00:08:27,542
Can I please look at your wound?
199
00:08:27,544 --> 00:08:28,042
No!
200
00:08:28,044 --> 00:08:30,712
Nor can you burn down my apartment,
so think of something else.
201
00:08:30,714 --> 00:08:33,115
I shall fetch a rug!
202
00:08:33,117 --> 00:08:33,916
Something else!
203
00:08:33,918 --> 00:08:36,785
You're not rolling him
up in one of my rugs!
204
00:08:36,787 --> 00:08:37,452
Why not?
205
00:08:37,454 --> 00:08:38,754
Because then what?!
206
00:08:38,756 --> 00:08:40,889
We...
get some coveralls, and a van.
207
00:08:40,891 --> 00:08:43,858
Like a carpet cleaning van, and just
walk him right out the front door.
208
00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:45,493
You just called
me an idiot for that!
209
00:08:45,495 --> 00:08:48,295
Your version
didn't have coveralls.
210
00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:50,764
Could we go out
through the basement?
211
00:08:50,766 --> 00:08:51,165
No.
212
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:54,467
We'd have to go past the super's
apartment, and his door is always open.
213
00:08:54,469 --> 00:08:58,539
I assume to let the stink of cabbage
waft through the halls, but --
214
00:08:58,541 --> 00:09:00,508
So? You think he'd be a problem?
215
00:09:00,510 --> 00:09:01,275
God, yes.
216
00:09:01,277 --> 00:09:05,947
- We're not on the best of terms...
- It's just, at Christmas,
217
00:09:05,949 --> 00:09:09,585
the tenants usually gimme a small
consideration, for the work I do all yeer
218
00:09:09,587 --> 00:09:10,553
keepin up the bildin.
219
00:09:10,555 --> 00:09:12,355
We surely count on it, ma'am.
220
00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:15,625
Specially this yeer, as we had
more'n the usual medical bills.
221
00:09:15,627 --> 00:09:17,027
Your point being?
222
00:09:17,029 --> 00:09:21,131
Just that, fer the tird year runnin...
Ya gimme a potato.
223
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:24,634
Oh dear, so once again
you're faced with the classic
224
00:09:24,636 --> 00:09:26,269
"Irishman's Dilemma."
225
00:09:26,271 --> 00:09:32,943
Do I eat the potato now, or let it
ferment, so I can drink it later?
226
00:09:32,945 --> 00:09:34,911
Will I get
the operation now, Da?
227
00:09:34,913 --> 00:09:37,981
No son... yer gonnaa die.
228
00:09:37,983 --> 00:09:39,616
What is your
problem with the Irish?
229
00:09:39,618 --> 00:09:43,020
You mean besides not being
on our side in World War Two?
230
00:09:43,022 --> 00:09:44,988
Yeah, besides that.
231
00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:45,989
Wait, seriously?
232
00:09:45,991 --> 00:09:47,124
They were Nazis?!
233
00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:47,825
No.
234
00:09:47,827 --> 00:09:49,827
- Not Japanese...
- Neutral!
235
00:09:49,829 --> 00:09:52,563
And now, since I don't wanna be
an accessory after the fact,
236
00:09:52,565 --> 00:09:55,733
how's about we figure out a way to get
that body out of the damn apartment?!
237
00:09:55,735 --> 00:09:57,835
Where'd we land
on the coveralls thing?
238
00:09:57,837 --> 00:09:58,269
Archer?
239
00:09:58,271 --> 00:10:00,171
Because I don't even
know where we'd get coveralls
240
00:10:00,173 --> 00:10:04,708
this time of night, so --
Soooo... if we can't get the body out of
241
00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:07,510
- here in one piece...
- Nooope!
242
00:10:07,512 --> 00:10:08,077
What?
243
00:10:08,079 --> 00:10:09,345
Lana, it's the only way.
244
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:10,179
What is?
245
00:10:10,181 --> 00:10:13,850
No! Malory, I've done some messed
up shit working for you, but I am not,
246
00:10:13,852 --> 00:10:16,219
repeat not, chopping up a dead body!
247
00:10:16,221 --> 00:10:17,419
Oh. Ewww! Mother!
248
00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:19,955
What! My God, do you want
me to get the electric chair?!
249
00:10:19,957 --> 00:10:22,191
For a murder you both
know I didn't commit?!
250
00:10:22,193 --> 00:10:23,759
Malory, I just can't.
251
00:10:23,761 --> 00:10:24,627
Me neither.
252
00:10:24,629 --> 00:10:25,594
Can't?
253
00:10:25,596 --> 00:10:26,529
Or won't.
254
00:10:26,531 --> 00:10:30,599
I --
Whatever, call it her can't, me won't.
255
00:10:32,303 --> 00:10:33,469
No, hey, Mother, c'mon.
256
00:10:33,471 --> 00:10:35,805
Stop that!
257
00:10:35,807 --> 00:10:36,839
Here, here, look!
258
00:10:36,841 --> 00:10:38,174
I'm gonna get help!
259
00:10:38,176 --> 00:10:41,477
From, from who-hoo-hoooo?!
260
00:10:41,479 --> 00:10:45,314
I need access to a two-inch
drain, hot water, three GFCI outlets,
261
00:10:45,316 --> 00:10:49,385
this bathroom should do nicely, and a pot
of coffee, just like I like my women:
262
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:52,188
black, bitter, preferably fair trade.
263
00:10:52,190 --> 00:10:54,423
Oh, and your sauce needs less salt.
264
00:10:54,425 --> 00:10:56,992
- How can you --
- Put two halves of a potato in with the sauce,
265
00:10:56,994 --> 00:10:58,060
it'll absorb the salt.
266
00:10:58,062 --> 00:11:00,029
Oh, and I assume that's our patient?
267
00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:01,364
Not ours, Krieger.
268
00:11:01,366 --> 00:11:03,332
Yours.
269
00:11:03,334 --> 00:11:04,767
Thank you.
270
00:11:04,769 --> 00:11:06,002
Ugh, too salty.
271
00:11:06,004 --> 00:11:07,437
Yeah, you got a potato?
272
00:11:07,439 --> 00:11:09,472
What is this, Christmas?
273
00:11:09,474 --> 00:11:11,641
And is Krieger... hard at work?
274
00:11:11,643 --> 00:11:14,277
He literally might be, yeah.
275
00:11:14,279 --> 00:11:14,845
Ew.
276
00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:17,347
Well, say what you will about him--
I did.
277
00:11:17,349 --> 00:11:18,248
he's discreet.
278
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:21,118
So no one else will ever know about this whole--
Aaaaaaaaaghhhh!
279
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,320
What in the--
Hell is that?!
280
00:11:23,322 --> 00:11:25,489
Hopefully my
greatest work yet.
281
00:11:25,491 --> 00:11:27,925
No no no no no!
282
00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:30,727
Whatever this is, I am not
getting mixed up in it!
283
00:11:30,729 --> 00:11:31,762
Too late.
284
00:11:32,832 --> 00:11:34,832
Hey whoa, whoa,
everybody calm down!
285
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:35,766
It's not what it looks like!
286
00:11:35,768 --> 00:11:37,434
Well, then,
what is it, exactly?!
287
00:11:37,436 --> 00:11:40,705
'Cause it sure as shit ain't
a surprise party, Krieger!
288
00:11:40,707 --> 00:11:41,439
Ya big fat liar!
289
00:11:41,441 --> 00:11:43,975
Someone's trying to frame
Malory for murdering the prime
290
00:11:43,977 --> 00:11:44,876
minister of Italy.
291
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:46,845
I bet
it's that wicked king!
292
00:11:46,847 --> 00:11:47,378
So?!
293
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:48,946
Why'd Krieger drag us into it?!
294
00:11:48,948 --> 00:11:50,080
Yes, Krieger!
295
00:11:50,082 --> 00:11:50,714
Why?!
296
00:11:50,716 --> 00:11:53,417
I needed help...
disseminating him.
297
00:11:53,419 --> 00:11:54,751
Ewww!
298
00:11:54,753 --> 00:11:55,552
Not what it means.
299
00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:57,488
But it's still
pretty gross though.
300
00:11:57,490 --> 00:11:58,355
And brilliant!
301
00:11:58,357 --> 00:12:00,224
When I'm done, each one of us
will walk out the front door
302
00:12:00,226 --> 00:12:02,226
- carrying a small parcel...
- How small?!
303
00:12:02,228 --> 00:12:02,926
Eh.
304
00:12:02,928 --> 00:12:05,028
Then on our way home, we
simply drop the parcels into
305
00:12:05,030 --> 00:12:08,064
seven different trash cans
in three different boroughs.
306
00:12:08,066 --> 00:12:10,233
That's... actually pretty smart.
307
00:12:10,235 --> 00:12:11,835
And hopefully,
when you look at all the
308
00:12:11,837 --> 00:12:15,806
different drop points on a map,
it'll look like a big smiley face.
309
00:12:15,808 --> 00:12:18,108
That's actually pretty gross.
310
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:21,511
Kind of clever.
311
00:12:21,513 --> 00:12:22,879
Every time!
312
00:12:22,881 --> 00:12:26,916
Every single time we come over here,
we have to help you get rid of
313
00:12:26,918 --> 00:12:27,550
a dead body!
314
00:12:27,552 --> 00:12:29,985
Well, you've
only been here twice.
315
00:12:29,987 --> 00:12:32,854
Speaking of, why the hell
was the prime minister of Italy here?
316
00:12:32,856 --> 00:12:33,789
Don't ask.
317
00:12:33,791 --> 00:12:36,125
And follow up, did those
dastardly dagoes kill
318
00:12:36,127 --> 00:12:39,061
him and then dress him up like
a big giant penis, or --
319
00:12:39,063 --> 00:12:40,896
Oh God, that reminds me.
320
00:12:40,898 --> 00:12:41,430
Krieger?
321
00:12:41,432 --> 00:12:42,665
Yeah, I found it!
322
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:43,299
Found what?
323
00:12:43,301 --> 00:12:44,434
Don't ask.
324
00:12:44,436 --> 00:12:45,134
Can I keep it?
325
00:12:45,136 --> 00:12:45,902
Keep what?
326
00:12:45,904 --> 00:12:46,603
Don't ask!
327
00:12:46,605 --> 00:12:48,605
Just get it
out of here, please!
328
00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:51,342
- Yeah, take that tone...
- I'd like to know this
329
00:12:51,344 --> 00:12:53,210
could possibly get any worse.
330
00:12:53,212 --> 00:12:56,547
Well, for one thing, there's
not enough sauce for everybody.
331
00:12:56,549 --> 00:12:57,714
NYPD!
332
00:12:57,716 --> 00:12:58,749
Open up, please?
333
00:12:58,751 --> 00:13:01,251
Jeez it! It's the cops!
Oh. Busted.
334
00:13:01,253 --> 00:13:03,586
And-or the
police could show up.
335
00:13:03,588 --> 00:13:05,388
Oh for the --
now what do we do?!
336
00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:07,841
Cover your arm up,
answer the door, and stall them.
337
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:10,805
And then. Somebody get me a Number 10
can of tomatoes.
338
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:12,247
What?
339
00:13:12,367 --> 00:13:13,941
Sorry. Not enough sauce.
340
00:13:16,072 --> 00:13:17,215
NYPD!
341
00:13:17,335 --> 00:13:18,540
C'mon lady, open the door!
342
00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:19,574
Comiiing!
343
00:13:19,576 --> 00:13:26,983
Sorry, I was in the-- kitchen,
I'm making spaghetti and --meatballs.
344
00:13:26,985 --> 00:13:29,018
Hi, I'm --
Italian, huh?
345
00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:30,353
That's a coincidence.
346
00:13:30,355 --> 00:13:31,988
Oh, are you
Italian, Officer...?
347
00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:34,057
No, and it's Detective.
Murphy.
348
00:13:34,059 --> 00:13:35,088
Irish.
349
00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:35,859
That's right.
350
00:13:35,861 --> 00:13:39,050
But we got an anonymous tip that
Savio Mascalzone was up here.
351
00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:41,445
Oooh, who's that, some mobster?
352
00:13:41,565 --> 00:13:43,628
Prime minister.
Of Italy.
353
00:13:43,651 --> 00:13:45,066
Doesn't Italy use a king?
354
00:13:45,068 --> 00:13:46,467
I wouldn't know.
355
00:13:46,469 --> 00:13:47,368
Somebody dead?
356
00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:48,770
What? Oh!
357
00:13:48,772 --> 00:13:49,604
My bird.
358
00:13:49,606 --> 00:13:50,705
Little Tweetsie.
359
00:13:50,707 --> 00:13:51,473
Uh-huh.
360
00:13:51,475 --> 00:13:54,376
Well, that's another coincidence,
'cause this anonymous tip said
361
00:13:54,378 --> 00:13:55,944
Mascalzone was dead up here.
362
00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:56,678
What?
363
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,413
Oh, for heaven's sake!
364
00:13:58,415 --> 00:13:59,915
Yeah, right
here in the living room.
365
00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:04,520
Well, as you can see, there
hasn't been a murder in here, my gosh!
366
00:14:04,522 --> 00:14:07,022
Although I guess someone
must've spilled a drink.
367
00:14:07,024 --> 00:14:09,758
I have a few dear friends
over for a dinner party.
368
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:10,692
Uh-huh.
369
00:14:10,694 --> 00:14:11,793
Mind if I talk to them?
370
00:14:11,795 --> 00:14:15,063
Heavens, no, of course not, but--
What's in here?
371
00:14:15,065 --> 00:14:15,998
Bathroom?
372
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,032
Uh-huh.
373
00:14:17,034 --> 00:14:21,236
My guests are in here, Detective, but--
What are you doing--
374
00:14:21,238 --> 00:14:23,805
from the left, dear,
one serves from the left!
375
00:14:23,807 --> 00:14:26,809
What's gotten
into you, Calpurnia?!
376
00:14:26,811 --> 00:14:28,010
My mistake, ma'am.
377
00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:31,380
Well, I should
say it is, Calpurnia!
378
00:14:31,382 --> 00:14:34,383
Muthah, your maid is -- oh, hello!
379
00:14:34,385 --> 00:14:35,017
Evening.
380
00:14:35,019 --> 00:14:38,187
- Sorry to disturb your, uh...
- Elegant dinnah pahty,
381
00:14:38,189 --> 00:14:43,193
for the most elegant
people in all of New Yawk.
382
00:14:43,195 --> 00:14:43,993
Uh-huh.
383
00:14:43,995 --> 00:14:45,862
But we got a tip there'd
been a murder up here.
384
00:14:45,864 --> 00:14:48,298
Good heavens, a murder?
385
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:53,403
Well, apart from this sullen wench
murdering good etiquette, owww!
386
00:14:53,405 --> 00:15:00,978
I find the very suggestion laughable.
387
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,713
So, you don't
mind if I look around?
388
00:15:02,715 --> 00:15:03,947
Uh, no!
389
00:15:03,949 --> 00:15:05,449
Of course not!
390
00:15:05,451 --> 00:15:06,350
Calpurnia?
391
00:15:06,352 --> 00:15:08,552
May I speak with you in the kitchen?
392
00:15:08,554 --> 00:15:10,453
Certainly.
393
00:15:10,455 --> 00:15:14,023
And I'll let you get back to your--
Elegant
394
00:15:14,025 --> 00:15:17,594
dinnah pahty!
395
00:15:17,596 --> 00:15:20,597
I hate you all so much.
396
00:15:20,599 --> 00:15:26,337
No one cares, Figgis, you were
only invited to round out the numbahs.
397
00:15:34,346 --> 00:15:35,713
What, how is this my fault?!
398
00:15:35,715 --> 00:15:38,817
Gee, where to start...
oh! The murder?
399
00:15:38,819 --> 00:15:41,220
Oh, I thought you meant
that silly French maid costume.
400
00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:43,622
Which makes you look ridiculous.
401
00:15:43,624 --> 00:15:46,959
And why do you even - never
mind, I don't even wanna know.
402
00:15:46,961 --> 00:15:49,295
Good, it's
none of your beeswax.
403
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:49,862
Here.
404
00:15:49,864 --> 00:15:52,564
I hope you won't need it, but--
Why would I need...?
405
00:15:52,566 --> 00:15:55,134
- Oh, huh-uh, noop.
- Lana!
406
00:15:55,136 --> 00:15:56,568
Malory! I am not!
407
00:15:56,570 --> 00:16:00,305
Killing a--
A perfectly nice dinnah, Calpurnia!
408
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:04,342
By God, if you were my servant, I'd
have you over my knee in a trice!
409
00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:06,844
And Muthah, the constable
wishes a word.
410
00:16:06,846 --> 00:16:07,711
He does?
411
00:16:07,713 --> 00:16:08,779
I mean yes?
412
00:16:08,781 --> 00:16:10,614
Yeah, sorry
for the intrusion.
413
00:16:10,616 --> 00:16:11,715
That tip musta been a hoax.
414
00:16:11,717 --> 00:16:13,249
I checked out the whole
apartment, it's clean.
415
00:16:13,251 --> 00:16:15,018
- No thanks to this one...
- Mmmm...?!
416
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:15,752
Sullen wench.
417
00:16:15,754 --> 00:16:19,055
I mean indubitably Lieutenant.
418
00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:22,625
So then I'll,
uh, just be on my way.
419
00:16:22,627 --> 00:16:25,929
It's just, who would call in with a
fake tip like that, though, ya know?
420
00:16:25,931 --> 00:16:29,065
I wouldn't be surprised
if it was our super, Mr. Herlihy.
421
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:29,899
He drinks.
422
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:33,637
Thanks, I'll check on --
oh hey, I never checked this bathroom.
423
00:16:33,639 --> 00:16:34,037
Ya mind?
424
00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:36,172
I -- no, of course not.
425
00:16:36,174 --> 00:16:39,576
Be my guest.
426
00:16:46,282 --> 00:16:49,451
Whew! Oh!
Sorry, didn't know anyone was waiting.
427
00:16:49,453 --> 00:16:52,653
But I'd recommend the other bathroom,
I mean I did what I could,
428
00:16:52,655 --> 00:16:55,322
but you can only ask so
much of a vanilla candle.
429
00:16:55,324 --> 00:16:56,757
Dinner ready?
430
00:16:56,759 --> 00:17:00,693
- My God...
- Ugh! Yeah, he really did a number on it.
431
00:17:00,695 --> 00:17:02,762
Might wanna make sure he didn't
leave ya an upper decker.
432
00:17:02,764 --> 00:17:04,731
Sorry again for the intrusion, ma'am.
433
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:07,601
And Herlihy, you said his name was?
434
00:17:07,603 --> 00:17:08,469
Hm? Oh, yes.
435
00:17:08,471 --> 00:17:10,438
Yes, that's right.
436
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,172
Ow! Ow!
437
00:17:11,174 --> 00:17:12,374
Lana, c'mon, I was -- ow!
438
00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:14,476
I'll show you a sullen wench!
439
00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:16,578
Right then.
440
00:17:16,580 --> 00:17:20,082
That snoopy detective is gone,
thanks to Dr. Krieger, so --
441
00:17:20,084 --> 00:17:20,783
Krieger?
442
00:17:20,785 --> 00:17:21,617
What about the rest of us?
443
00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:25,621
The rest of you can get out of
my clothes, and then out of my house.
444
00:17:25,623 --> 00:17:29,424
But thank you all so much for coming!
445
00:17:29,426 --> 00:17:30,325
Loved it.
446
00:17:30,327 --> 00:17:31,092
Never, never again.
447
00:17:31,094 --> 00:17:32,594
Thanks
for dead guy in a box.
448
00:17:32,596 --> 00:17:33,328
Not very elegant.
449
00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:35,396
Oh no, thanks
for having us, amazing.
450
00:17:35,398 --> 00:17:38,499
And remember, smiley face!
And thank you.
451
00:17:38,501 --> 00:17:39,466
Krieger, wait.
452
00:17:39,468 --> 00:17:42,136
The bathroom, the body, how did you...?
453
00:17:42,138 --> 00:17:44,671
Shhhhh!
Shh shh shh shh shhhhhhh.
454
00:17:44,673 --> 00:17:46,040
You don't wanna know.
455
00:17:46,042 --> 00:17:48,976
But you do probably wanna
wash your lips now.
456
00:17:48,978 --> 00:17:51,612
Ugh.
457
00:17:51,614 --> 00:17:53,247
Screw you, Archer!
458
00:17:53,249 --> 00:17:54,248
Sullen wench?!
459
00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:54,748
Lana!
460
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:55,916
C'mon, I was just kidding!
461
00:17:55,918 --> 00:17:57,184
I had to make it look good!
462
00:17:57,186 --> 00:18:00,654
- You had to make it look good...
- Well, and also annoy you.
463
00:18:00,656 --> 00:18:02,823
Walther PP, chambered
for thirty-two ACP.
464
00:18:02,825 --> 00:18:04,592
What's the magazine capacity?
465
00:18:04,594 --> 00:18:05,593
Uh..gh. Eight.
466
00:18:05,595 --> 00:18:06,361
Eight rounds.
467
00:18:06,363 --> 00:18:07,729
Plus one in the chamber.
468
00:18:07,731 --> 00:18:09,598
For a total... of nine.
469
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,166
Hey thanks, Rainman.
470
00:18:11,168 --> 00:18:11,933
Your point being?
471
00:18:11,935 --> 00:18:13,435
Malory's clip was empty.
472
00:18:13,437 --> 00:18:15,871
But she said she only
fired three shots.
473
00:18:15,873 --> 00:18:20,609
Oh my God, so you're saying
Mother lured Mascalzone up there...
474
00:18:20,611 --> 00:18:24,579
Greased him into a six-foot manrubber,
strapped him to a chair...
475
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:25,513
Sei pronto?
476
00:18:25,515 --> 00:18:28,216
Si, cara mia,
sono molto pronto!
477
00:18:28,218 --> 00:18:29,884
Bene. Anch'io.
478
00:18:29,886 --> 00:18:31,118
Oho!
479
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,353
Mi fai pazzo con libido!
480
00:18:33,355 --> 00:18:34,321
I know dear.
481
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:35,488
But you have to wait.
482
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,824
Calls us... What?
483
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,327
Mother calm -- I'm on my way!
484
00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:41,027
Don't move.
485
00:18:41,029 --> 00:18:43,496
I'll probably be back.
486
00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:45,733
Then she pulls a gun on him?!
487
00:18:45,735 --> 00:18:46,667
Che cosa?!
488
00:18:46,669 --> 00:18:47,468
What is this?!
489
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:48,469
A crock of shit!
490
00:18:48,471 --> 00:18:51,205
Because that would mean she
called the cops on herself!
491
00:18:51,207 --> 00:18:54,275
Knowing they'd never come back
after they searched her apartment.
492
00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:56,645
Which was full of people, and spotless.
493
00:18:56,647 --> 00:18:59,282
Oh my God, do
the math, Rainman!
494
00:18:59,284 --> 00:19:07,124
The wall was shot three times...
Mascalzone was shot five times!
495
00:19:07,126 --> 00:19:09,993
For a total, wait for it, of eight!
496
00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:10,694
Yeah.
497
00:19:10,696 --> 00:19:11,728
Plus the one in her arm.
498
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:12,262
Wh-?!
499
00:19:12,264 --> 00:19:14,364
So what, Mother shot herself?!
500
00:19:14,366 --> 00:19:15,932
Oh my God!
501
00:19:15,934 --> 00:19:17,534
Ungh!
502
00:19:17,536 --> 00:19:18,968
Mio dio! Perche?!
503
00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:19,736
Why?
504
00:19:19,738 --> 00:19:21,504
I'll tell you exactly why.
505
00:19:21,506 --> 00:19:23,272
Before I kill you.
506
00:19:23,274 --> 00:19:24,506
Operation Gladio.
507
00:19:24,508 --> 00:19:25,608
Gladio?!
508
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:29,878
Which would mean Mother's been
banging him once a year for like
509
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:35,517
thirty-five years, and the whole
time she's been holding a grudge,
510
00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:39,553
just waiting to... Holy shit.
511
00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:40,354
She killed him.
512
00:19:40,356 --> 00:19:42,589
And got us to
dispose of the body.
513
00:19:42,591 --> 00:19:43,991
Ugh. But why?
514
00:19:43,993 --> 00:19:45,092
After all this time?
515
00:19:45,094 --> 00:19:48,229
Well, to be honest, until
recently the sex has been
516
00:19:48,231 --> 00:19:49,930
pretty phenomenal --
Grazie.
517
00:19:49,932 --> 00:19:52,099
And I figured,
eh, what's the hurry?
518
00:19:52,101 --> 00:19:55,036
But then you started getting... weird.
519
00:19:55,038 --> 00:19:56,971
But why
you make la vendetta?
520
00:19:56,973 --> 00:19:59,741
Because one night, all
those years ago in Rome,
521
00:19:59,743 --> 00:20:03,779
you and your fascist thugs gunned
down a young man in the street.
522
00:20:03,781 --> 00:20:04,680
A beautiful man.
523
00:20:04,682 --> 00:20:08,851
- Blue eyes, full lips, black thick wavy hair...
- Perche?
524
00:20:08,853 --> 00:20:09,953
What was his crime?
525
00:20:09,955 --> 00:20:13,223
Well, I wouldn't call speaking
out against the rebirtof fascism
526
00:20:13,225 --> 00:20:14,592
a crime.
527
00:20:14,594 --> 00:20:16,127
More of a mistake.
528
00:20:16,129 --> 00:20:19,130
By a beautiful, idealistic young man.
529
00:20:19,132 --> 00:20:21,165
Who may have beenee my son's father.
530
00:20:21,167 --> 00:20:22,766
May have been?!
531
00:20:22,768 --> 00:20:24,201
You don't know?!
532
00:20:24,203 --> 00:20:24,835
Madon'!
533
00:20:24,837 --> 00:20:28,237
Che tipo di puttana sei?!
534
00:20:28,239 --> 00:20:31,107
Che tipo davvero.
535
00:20:31,109 --> 00:20:32,608
Cazzo fascista.
536
00:20:32,610 --> 00:20:33,842
Who knows, it's Malory.
537
00:20:33,844 --> 00:20:35,811
You really wanna know
why she killed a guy?
538
00:20:35,813 --> 00:20:38,079
I... do not, no.
539
00:20:38,081 --> 00:20:41,883
Although... I am curious why she
wouldn't take off that trenchcoat.
540
00:20:41,885 --> 00:20:42,851
Mm!
541
00:20:42,853 --> 00:20:44,987
Honey, you still got it.
542
00:20:44,989 --> 00:20:46,755
Bow chicka bow bow!
543
00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:47,690
Uh huh huh!
544
00:20:47,692 --> 00:20:51,595
So much of this I never
wanna know the answer to.
545
00:20:51,597 --> 00:20:54,097
Okay, how 'bout a slice?
546
00:20:54,099 --> 00:20:56,842
God, what's with me and Italian lately?
547
00:20:57,854 --> 00:21:08,203
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
548
00:21:09,305 --> 00:21:15,320
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