1
00:00:02,396 --> 00:00:03,096
Item six.
2
00:00:04,398 --> 00:00:05,932
Yeah, we're not done with item five!
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,435
Well obviously we are,
because I just said "item six."
4
00:00:09,503 --> 00:00:12,689
Where the hell're we supposed to
eat lunch if you close the break room?
5
00:00:12,809 --> 00:00:13,943
Wherever you'd like.
6
00:00:14,011 --> 00:00:17,580
As long as it's not Le Cirque,
Lutèce, Elaine's, 21, The
7
00:00:17,647 --> 00:00:19,349
Russian Tea Room, or The Palm.
8
00:00:19,416 --> 00:00:21,577
Like we can afford to
eat lunch at any of those.
9
00:00:21,585 --> 00:00:22,118
All the better.
10
00:00:22,186 --> 00:00:24,720
Saves us all the embarrassment
of my snubbing you.
11
00:00:24,788 --> 00:00:25,221
Malory --
12
00:00:25,289 --> 00:00:26,722
And, shut up, it will
13
00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:28,724
save me God knows how much on
14
00:00:28,792 --> 00:00:32,161
exterminators... That
break room is disgusting.
15
00:00:32,229 --> 00:00:33,929
A pig wouldn't be caught dead in there.
16
00:00:33,998 --> 00:00:35,231
Yeah it would.
17
00:00:35,299 --> 00:00:38,067
- Aww, Pigley Two...
- And you!
18
00:00:38,135 --> 00:00:41,237
Mister "I Can Solve Your Ant Problem!"
19
00:00:41,305 --> 00:00:44,207
First of all, it's Doctor
"I Can Solve Your Ant Problem"...
20
00:00:51,581 --> 00:00:54,417
And second of all, here's your refund.
21
00:00:54,485 --> 00:00:55,951
I really thought that would work.
22
00:00:56,020 --> 00:01:00,756
What were you going for, ant-strength
relative to the size of a human?
23
00:01:00,824 --> 00:01:01,391
Shut up.
24
00:01:01,458 --> 00:01:05,728
Everyone shut up, because item six!
25
00:01:05,795 --> 00:01:09,865
Talk to Pam today, because somehow,
and seemingly impossibly soon, it is
26
00:01:09,933 --> 00:01:13,036
once again time for... peer reviews.
27
00:01:13,103 --> 00:01:14,470
Yaaayyyy!
28
00:01:14,538 --> 00:01:15,938
Ugh, how can you not hate those?
29
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:18,774
I dunno, maybe I'm the only
one who cares about this being
30
00:01:18,842 --> 00:01:20,743
an efficient and supportive
work environment...
31
00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:21,644
Maybe you're lame.
32
00:01:21,711 --> 00:01:23,779
Maybe you can shut
your dick-holster.
33
00:01:23,847 --> 00:01:26,815
So see me after, I've got
everyone paired off.
34
00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:28,084
Well, except Ms. Archer.
35
00:01:28,152 --> 00:01:29,792
Wait, why don't you have to do it?
36
00:01:29,853 --> 00:01:33,756
Well I would... if I had
a peer in this entire building.
37
00:01:33,823 --> 00:01:35,624
Item seven.
38
00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:36,092
Oh.
39
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,495
You all remember Lucas Troy...
40
00:01:39,563 --> 00:01:40,714
- Shitbag.
41
00:01:40,715 --> 00:01:41,864
- What're you talking
about, Luke's awesome!
42
00:01:41,932 --> 00:01:47,803
He's a kickass agent, a great wingman,
he can drink Ireland under the table...
43
00:01:47,871 --> 00:01:50,506
back when we were training
together we tore it up!
44
00:01:50,574 --> 00:01:52,175
Just like his ISIS contract!
45
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,677
I trained him for a year, and
the minute he's worth a damn he
46
00:01:54,744 --> 00:01:56,812
goes to work for ODIN?!
47
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,215
She said, oversimplifyingly!
48
00:01:59,283 --> 00:01:59,915
Wh-?!
49
00:01:59,983 --> 00:02:04,420
And so, congratulations to all our
new agents, but especially to our
50
00:02:04,488 --> 00:02:07,756
highest-scoring recruit, Lucas Troy!
51
00:02:08,858 --> 00:02:10,126
Way to go Luke!
52
00:02:10,194 --> 00:02:13,463
I'm going to work for ODIN.
53
00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:14,863
He was still awesome.
54
00:02:14,931 --> 00:02:15,831
And my best --
55
00:02:15,899 --> 00:02:16,299
Only --
56
00:02:16,366 --> 00:02:17,300
shut up, my best
57
00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:20,136
friend, Mother, which is why you
hated him, because you were
58
00:02:20,204 --> 00:02:23,439
jealous of our relationship.
59
00:02:23,507 --> 00:02:26,175
- So, you two were in a relationship...
Wh-?
60
00:02:26,243 --> 00:02:28,478
No, not the Ray kind!
61
00:02:28,545 --> 00:02:28,978
Meaning?
62
00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:30,846
Homosexual, Ray.
63
00:02:30,914 --> 00:02:32,848
So, so obviously.
64
00:02:32,916 --> 00:02:36,285
What's not obvious, Mother, is why my
best friend, the awesome Luke Troy,
65
00:02:36,353 --> 00:02:38,154
is on your stupid agenda!
66
00:02:38,222 --> 00:02:43,910
Oh, right, let's see here...
Doo doo doo dooo... oh.
67
00:02:44,157 --> 00:02:46,025
He's dead.
68
00:02:46,743 --> 00:02:47,893
He's... what?
69
00:02:48,013 --> 00:02:49,031
Dead!
70
00:02:49,099 --> 00:02:52,795
Jesus, clean the secretly gay for
Lucas Troy out of your ears.
71
00:02:54,000 --> 00:03:00,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
72
00:03:15,565 --> 00:03:23,565
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
73
00:03:27,837 --> 00:03:29,858
This is crazy,
how could Luke be --
74
00:03:29,978 --> 00:03:31,606
- Gay?
- Dead! Lana.
75
00:03:31,674 --> 00:03:34,943
And your little, whatever, gay
innuendos don't even merit a --
76
00:03:35,011 --> 00:03:36,445
Reach-around?
77
00:03:36,513 --> 00:03:38,447
Owww! Jesus!
78
00:03:38,515 --> 00:03:39,316
Ha ha!
79
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:42,617
It's just like my birthday
party all over again.
80
00:03:42,685 --> 00:03:43,485
Remember?
81
00:03:43,553 --> 00:03:44,319
Nooo!
82
00:03:44,387 --> 00:03:44,853
Yeah.
83
00:03:44,921 --> 00:03:46,255
Because you weren't invited.
84
00:03:46,322 --> 00:03:48,623
Mother, tell me exactly what happened!
85
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:51,726
To lure a black market
arms dealer into the open,
86
00:03:51,794 --> 00:03:54,796
Troy was posing as a nuclear
scientist who had stolen enough
87
00:03:54,864 --> 00:03:56,798
uranium for a dirty bomb.
88
00:03:56,866 --> 00:03:59,801
Oh, that is classic Luke the Spook!
89
00:03:59,869 --> 00:04:05,240
Hey stupid, here's your fake uranium,
click, handcuffs, drops mic on stage.
90
00:04:05,308 --> 00:04:06,808
Yes, that was the plan.
91
00:04:06,876 --> 00:04:10,446
But somehow, thanks to what I
just assume is ODIN idiocy,
92
00:04:10,513 --> 00:04:12,581
Troy acquired real uranium.
93
00:04:12,648 --> 00:04:13,815
Even classic-er!
94
00:04:13,883 --> 00:04:16,452
The bad guys would obviously
bring a Geiger counter!
95
00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:19,020
And ten million
dollars in bearer bonds.
96
00:04:19,089 --> 00:04:23,058
And when the smoke had cleared,
four ODIN agents were dead, and
97
00:04:23,126 --> 00:04:26,528
the uranium, the bad guys, and
the money had all disappeared.
98
00:04:26,596 --> 00:04:27,596
And so had Troy.
99
00:04:27,663 --> 00:04:28,930
Doesn't... prove anything.
100
00:04:28,998 --> 00:04:30,966
Oh for -- Archer, if it
walks like a duck, and quacks
101
00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:34,136
like a duck, and murders a
bunch of its fellow ducks...
102
00:04:34,204 --> 00:04:37,038
Then maybe the duck
knew there was a mole!
103
00:04:37,107 --> 00:04:38,474
Ever think of that?!
104
00:04:38,541 --> 00:04:40,842
That maybe there's a
fox in the henhouse?!
105
00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:42,844
A wolf in sheep's clothing?!
106
00:04:42,912 --> 00:04:44,846
Or one of the other tricky animals?!
107
00:04:44,914 --> 00:04:46,381
Well, we'll never know.
108
00:04:46,449 --> 00:04:48,783
The plane he escaped in
crashed, in Vermont.
109
00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:51,886
What, no, I bet he faked his
own death so he can expose the mole!
110
00:04:51,954 --> 00:04:54,456
There is no mole, and faked it how?
111
00:04:54,524 --> 00:04:56,458
Paging Dr. Cooper!
112
00:04:56,526 --> 00:04:57,993
Dr. D.B. Cooper!
113
00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:00,996
Lana, he obviously bailed out and --
And then...
114
00:05:01,063 --> 00:05:04,466
landed safely, buried his
chute, ran ten miles to the
115
00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:08,303
crash site and then strapped himself
into the still-burning wreckage?
116
00:05:08,371 --> 00:05:10,639
That... that could be anybody.
117
00:05:10,706 --> 00:05:12,974
Well, anybody with his dental records.
118
00:05:13,042 --> 00:05:13,675
What?!
119
00:05:13,743 --> 00:05:18,180
Yes, Sterling, I'm --
actually no, I'm not sorry.
120
00:05:18,248 --> 00:05:21,550
He was a traitor and a thief,
and so I'm glad he's dead.
121
00:05:21,618 --> 00:05:22,384
If he is!
122
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:25,887
Because you've always been
insanely jealous of my friends!
123
00:05:29,725 --> 00:05:32,694
So if you'll excuse me,
Mother, I have to go clear
124
00:05:32,762 --> 00:05:36,398
the name of an American hero.
125
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:39,934
Does he seem... almost
a little too fond of Troy?
126
00:05:40,002 --> 00:05:42,371
Yeah, and you know he was gay, right?
127
00:05:42,438 --> 00:05:43,772
As a tangerine.
128
00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:45,774
In jean shorts.
129
00:05:45,841 --> 00:05:47,682
But, I thought Troy was already dead.
130
00:05:47,743 --> 00:05:49,711
Because he wants you to think that!
131
00:05:49,779 --> 00:05:53,014
But I have a list of all his
known aliases, so see if any of
132
00:05:53,082 --> 00:05:54,749
them used a passport!
133
00:05:54,817 --> 00:05:56,218
Oh, or a credit card!
134
00:05:56,286 --> 00:05:57,919
Yeah, like at roughtrade dot net.
135
00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:00,755
Lana, I will hire Kenny
Loggins to come here and
136
00:06:00,823 --> 00:06:03,925
play an acoustic set while I
slap some sense into you.
137
00:06:03,993 --> 00:06:04,560
Pff.
138
00:06:04,627 --> 00:06:05,467
Ray, back me up here.
139
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,929
Luke Troy, yes or no, gayest dude ever.
140
00:06:07,997 --> 00:06:09,698
Uh...
141
00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:13,935
Dude, what, it was just the tip!
142
00:06:14,003 --> 00:06:18,540
Meathead fratboy asshole jock
maybe, but no, definitely not gay.
143
00:06:18,608 --> 00:06:19,641
What?!
144
00:06:19,709 --> 00:06:21,943
Boom!
145
00:06:22,011 --> 00:06:23,044
Sorry.
146
00:06:23,112 --> 00:06:24,112
What.
147
00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:24,946
What?!
148
00:06:25,014 --> 00:06:25,914
I knew it!
149
00:06:25,981 --> 00:06:26,981
Where is he?!
150
00:06:27,049 --> 00:06:30,252
And why don't we leave the
terrace door open, Woodhouse?!
151
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,954
Exactly, because he's a frickin lemur!
152
00:06:33,022 --> 00:06:34,623
Ray, call me when you find a lead!
153
00:06:34,691 --> 00:06:38,727
I'll be somewhere in or on top of my
building, shooting tranquilizer darts at
154
00:06:38,794 --> 00:06:40,462
the world's shittiest pet.
155
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,063
Told him when he bought it.
156
00:06:42,131 --> 00:06:44,766
And I'm telling you these
reviews are mandatory, and
157
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:46,954
- since I outrank you...
- Hang on, lemme check this
158
00:06:46,969 --> 00:06:49,471
imaginary list of all the
people I report to...
159
00:06:49,472 --> 00:06:51,973
Doo doo doo doo dooooo...
160
00:06:52,041 --> 00:06:52,608
Okay.
161
00:06:52,675 --> 00:06:53,308
What the hell is this?
162
00:06:53,376 --> 00:06:56,278
This, mustache on a penis, is Rodney.
163
00:06:56,346 --> 00:07:00,415
And since there's only one name
on this list, you must be Ms. Archer.
164
00:07:00,483 --> 00:07:02,684
Cleverly disguised as a large man.
165
00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:03,619
Meh-heh!
166
00:07:03,686 --> 00:07:06,288
He's the new, whatever, gun librarian.
167
00:07:06,356 --> 00:07:07,989
Armory supervisor.
168
00:07:08,057 --> 00:07:09,558
Hooray, what's with the cage?
169
00:07:09,626 --> 00:07:13,428
Oh, some wacky new thing the kids
are doing, called inventory control?
170
00:07:13,496 --> 00:07:17,999
Ms. Archer's pissed cause a buncha
guns and stuff keep going missing...
171
00:07:18,768 --> 00:07:21,336
Oh, and lemme know
if you want a good deal on a
172
00:07:21,404 --> 00:07:22,771
gallon of irradiated ants.
173
00:07:22,838 --> 00:07:23,605
Well, whatever.
174
00:07:23,673 --> 00:07:26,007
I need some range time, so just
scuttle back into the tiny
175
00:07:26,075 --> 00:07:28,443
little domain over which you
have power, and get me a
176
00:07:28,511 --> 00:07:30,545
thousand rounds of nine mil, wadcutter.
177
00:07:30,613 --> 00:07:31,446
Absolutely.
178
00:07:31,514 --> 00:07:34,483
Just fill out these requisition
forms, in triplicate.
179
00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:34,983
Wh-?
180
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:36,485
For a few lousy bullets?!
181
00:07:36,552 --> 00:07:40,021
Well one, they're excellent bullets--
Are you gonna stand there,
182
00:07:40,089 --> 00:07:42,891
in what I just assume are
two-inch lifts, and tell me
183
00:07:42,958 --> 00:07:46,662
Archer filled out your stupid forms
just to get a tranquilizer gun?
184
00:07:46,729 --> 00:07:47,763
No I am not.
185
00:07:47,830 --> 00:07:48,196
Well?!
186
00:07:48,264 --> 00:07:52,301
He filled them out to get,
doo doo dooooo, two H&K MP-five,
187
00:07:52,368 --> 00:07:55,036
two thousand rounds ammunition
for same, twenty mark-two
188
00:07:55,104 --> 00:07:56,471
fragmentation grenade...
189
00:07:56,539 --> 00:07:57,038
Wait a minute...
190
00:07:57,106 --> 00:07:59,308
Yeah, that lemur is hosed.
191
00:07:59,375 --> 00:08:02,043
Fourteen days survival
ration, two night vision goggle,
192
00:08:02,111 --> 00:08:06,648
two each arctic camouflage parka
and pant, and, doo doo doo doooo,
193
00:08:06,716 --> 00:08:08,049
two pairs snowshoe.
194
00:08:08,117 --> 00:08:09,250
Son of a bitch!
195
00:08:09,319 --> 00:08:13,254
That phone call was --
Loooooooooooooooke!
196
00:08:13,323 --> 00:08:16,325
Dude, I knew you faked your
death because a mole framed you
197
00:08:16,392 --> 00:08:18,092
for stealing that uranium!
198
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,196
Dude, that is such a relief, I was
worried they turned you against me.
199
00:08:21,263 --> 00:08:22,130
Are you kidding?
200
00:08:22,198 --> 00:08:26,067
Dude, bros before... apparent
threats to national security.
201
00:08:26,135 --> 00:08:27,932
Archer, you sure you're up for this?
202
00:08:28,057 --> 00:08:29,690
Because this thing... it runs deep.
203
00:08:29,758 --> 00:08:31,892
Dude, I love deep Said your mom!
204
00:08:31,961 --> 00:08:33,061
Haa!
205
00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:34,062
Classic you!
206
00:08:34,129 --> 00:08:36,697
Allright, GPS says I'll
be there in four hours.
207
00:08:36,765 --> 00:08:38,699
Don't worry, Luke... I'm coming for you.
208
00:08:40,202 --> 00:08:40,835
What was that?
209
00:08:40,902 --> 00:08:42,184
Phrasing.
210
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,360
Nice!
211
00:08:43,582 --> 00:08:45,373
Queer!
212
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,808
Wait a -- oh my God, holy shit!
213
00:08:47,876 --> 00:08:49,377
No, Vermont has liquor stores.
214
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,695
Right?
215
00:08:50,815 --> 00:08:53,982
Yeah they have to, it sucks there.
216
00:08:55,672 --> 00:08:57,306
Cyril, not now.
217
00:08:57,373 --> 00:08:59,541
What's the signal strength
on Archer's cellphone?
218
00:08:59,610 --> 00:09:02,144
The doohickey says he's
about thirty minutes away.
219
00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:04,880
And my point was, we could've
easily done it by now.
220
00:09:04,948 --> 00:09:07,282
And my point, is that
pursuing a dangerous rogue
221
00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:11,353
agent, isn't the optimal
time to do peer reviews!
222
00:09:11,421 --> 00:09:13,222
Coulda done it ten times by now.
223
00:09:13,289 --> 00:09:15,357
God damn it fine frickin review me!
224
00:09:15,425 --> 00:09:16,786
Section one, Team Dynamics.
225
00:09:16,793 --> 00:09:19,662
Question one, "Does
employee cooperate with..."
226
00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:25,400
Oh. These are all "Strongly Disagree."
227
00:09:25,468 --> 00:09:28,638
You --
Pussy!
228
00:09:28,705 --> 00:09:30,205
Shut up, it went down wrong.
229
00:09:30,273 --> 00:09:32,642
Said your... oh.
230
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:34,309
Yeah, doesn't work there.
231
00:09:34,377 --> 00:09:36,879
Mmmmokay, say
"Thanks for coming."
232
00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:37,467
Nooope!
233
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,750
No, seriously, if anybody finds
out I helped you I'll be disavowed.
234
00:09:40,817 --> 00:09:41,383
I know.
235
00:09:41,451 --> 00:09:42,584
Dude, I know.
236
00:09:42,653 --> 00:09:43,252
Thank you.
237
00:09:43,319 --> 00:09:44,053
For...?
238
00:09:44,121 --> 00:09:44,453
Nope.
239
00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:45,387
God, what a dick.
240
00:09:45,455 --> 00:09:46,388
Said your mom!
241
00:09:46,456 --> 00:09:46,956
Boom!
242
00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:47,590
Dammit!
243
00:09:47,624 --> 00:09:48,290
So easy...
244
00:09:48,358 --> 00:09:49,391
Okay, I got an El Camino
245
00:09:49,459 --> 00:09:50,592
full of rampage here,
246
00:09:50,661 --> 00:09:52,327
so what's the plan?
247
00:09:52,395 --> 00:09:55,397
Right, yes, okay, so, I know
it doesn't look like much now...
248
00:09:55,465 --> 00:09:58,367
But it has tons of potential.
249
00:09:58,434 --> 00:10:02,571
As a... base of operations while
we track down the mole who framed
250
00:10:02,639 --> 00:10:06,408
you for murdering your colleagues and
selling uranium on the black market?
251
00:10:06,476 --> 00:10:07,543
No, asshole.
252
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:09,344
As a bed-and-breakfast.
253
00:10:09,412 --> 00:10:11,213
- Uhh...
- Twin Oaks.
254
00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:12,114
You like that?
255
00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:13,115
For the name?
256
00:10:13,183 --> 00:10:15,584
Twin Oaks?
257
00:10:15,652 --> 00:10:16,752
Seriously?
258
00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:20,756
Yeah, according to the doohickey
it says Archer's in that direction --
259
00:10:20,824 --> 00:10:22,091
Are you reading it wrong?
260
00:10:22,159 --> 00:10:23,480
Within two hundred meters.
261
00:10:23,526 --> 00:10:24,760
I bet you're reading it wrong.
262
00:10:24,828 --> 00:10:26,428
Section two, Interpersonal.
263
00:10:26,496 --> 00:10:29,965
"Does employee frequently
criticize oth --"
264
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:32,301
Strongly agree.
265
00:10:32,368 --> 00:10:33,435
Somewhat disagree?
266
00:10:33,503 --> 00:10:34,436
Somewhat shut up.
267
00:10:34,504 --> 00:10:36,638
Come on, we're going on
foot, through the woods.
268
00:10:36,707 --> 00:10:38,574
I've got a bad feeling about this.
269
00:10:38,641 --> 00:10:41,443
I know, but imagine it all fixed up!
270
00:10:41,511 --> 00:10:44,413
No, yeah, I mean obviously it's --
It's gonna be amazing,
271
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,082
dude, look at these floors!
272
00:10:46,149 --> 00:10:46,989
That's heart of pine!
273
00:10:47,050 --> 00:10:50,285
Yeah, so look --
Look at this mantelpiece!
274
00:10:50,353 --> 00:10:51,253
Mahogany!
275
00:10:51,321 --> 00:10:52,454
There's another seven!
276
00:10:52,522 --> 00:10:55,557
Eight fireplaces, dude,
how nuts is that?!
277
00:10:55,625 --> 00:10:58,427
- Pretty nuts...
- Said your mom!
278
00:10:58,494 --> 00:11:02,732
Yeahhh... so, um, about
un-framing you for treason and murder...
279
00:11:02,799 --> 00:11:06,468
Yeah, I dunno, man, it kinda
seems like what's the point, you know?
280
00:11:06,536 --> 00:11:08,270
I don't, actually.
281
00:11:08,338 --> 00:11:10,439
C'mon, there's too much evidence!
282
00:11:10,506 --> 00:11:12,708
- I mean it's all fake, obviously, but...
- Exactly!
283
00:11:12,776 --> 00:11:14,777
Dude, there's a mole in your agency!
284
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:15,745
We gotta catch him!
285
00:11:15,812 --> 00:11:16,979
But then what?
286
00:11:17,047 --> 00:11:20,916
Then there's another mole, or a
double agent, on and on, it's
287
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,684
all just secrets and lies, man!
288
00:11:22,753 --> 00:11:24,820
Yeah, it's espionage.
289
00:11:24,888 --> 00:11:27,957
I can't go back to that
world, man, I'm too tired.
290
00:11:28,024 --> 00:11:31,861
Hopefully that's just neurological
damage from scraping lead paint...
291
00:11:31,928 --> 00:11:32,494
No, it's --
292
00:11:32,562 --> 00:11:33,483
Because turning
293
00:11:33,529 --> 00:11:34,496
the Munsters' house into a B&B
294
00:11:34,564 --> 00:11:37,733
is an insane response to your situation!
295
00:11:37,801 --> 00:11:41,203
It'd be cheaper to build a brand
new house out of actual money!
296
00:11:41,271 --> 00:11:43,639
Yeah, I know it'll cost
a fortune to fix her up,
297
00:11:43,706 --> 00:11:45,141
but money's not a problem.
298
00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:48,343
Why, wait, why is money not a problem?
299
00:11:48,411 --> 00:11:52,648
And my situation, is anyone who
could hurt me thinks I'm already dead.
300
00:11:52,715 --> 00:11:55,484
I -- wait, and
who was in the plane?
301
00:11:55,551 --> 00:11:55,851
Hm?
302
00:11:55,919 --> 00:12:01,523
I said who was in the goddamn--
No no no no, what the hell?!
303
00:12:01,591 --> 00:12:02,992
How could you not see that?!
304
00:12:03,059 --> 00:12:06,061
Because I only have two eyes, and
they were busy looking for hunters!
305
00:12:06,129 --> 00:12:08,530
Why, is it pumpkin season?!
306
00:12:08,598 --> 00:12:10,065
Is that a thing?!
307
00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:11,613
Archer, were you followed here?
308
00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:14,469
Wow, okay, a little insulting.
309
00:12:14,537 --> 00:12:17,539
I think I know how to spot a tail, so --
Is your... phone on?!
310
00:12:17,607 --> 00:12:18,573
Wh-? No!
311
00:12:18,641 --> 00:12:24,546
Jesus, what kind of... wallpaper
are you thinking about?
312
00:12:24,614 --> 00:12:28,517
Because how about a textile?
313
00:12:28,584 --> 00:12:29,518
Lana, listen.
314
00:12:29,585 --> 00:12:30,853
No, you listen!
315
00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:33,155
We're --
316
00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:35,590
Ha ha haa! Leave it!
317
00:12:35,658 --> 00:12:39,261
The voice mailbox of...
318
00:12:39,329 --> 00:12:40,062
Is full.
319
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,764
Goodbye.
320
00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:46,601
Why is Lana Kane -- and is that
the geeky little accountant dude?!
321
00:12:46,669 --> 00:12:48,537
-- attempting to breach my perimeter?!
322
00:12:48,604 --> 00:12:52,274
I honestly don't know, but
why are -- you doing that?
323
00:12:52,342 --> 00:12:54,503
Because they are a threat.
No they're not!
324
00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:55,577
To our future together.
325
00:12:55,645 --> 00:12:57,579
Especially not Cyril!
326
00:12:57,647 --> 00:13:00,382
He's -- wait, I'm sorry,
whose future together?
327
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,584
Yours and mine, dumbass.
328
00:13:02,652 --> 00:13:03,953
You lost me.
329
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:06,588
No, Archer, I thought I had--
No, yeah, you did.
330
00:13:06,656 --> 00:13:08,190
but then you came back to me.
331
00:13:08,258 --> 00:13:09,959
Don't take this the wrong way?
332
00:13:10,026 --> 00:13:13,595
But I'm getting an extremely gay vibe.
333
00:13:13,663 --> 00:13:14,029
Wh-?
334
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:16,098
Jesus, dude, I'm not gay!
335
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:17,599
I --
For other men!
336
00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:18,600
Lost me again.
337
00:13:18,668 --> 00:13:19,768
I can't really explain it?
338
00:13:19,836 --> 00:13:22,537
I mean, you know me, I've banged
more hot chicks than I've
339
00:13:22,605 --> 00:13:26,876
had hot dinners, but...
There's just something about you.
340
00:13:26,943 --> 00:13:28,543
That... makes you gay for me?
341
00:13:28,611 --> 00:13:30,251
Well, I don't really like that word?
342
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,214
Well sorry, I didn't invent English.
343
00:13:32,282 --> 00:13:35,417
It's more like... a
singular samesex attraction.
344
00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:40,622
- Can I, um, my head's kinda spinning...
- I know, this is a lot to process.
345
00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:42,491
No, literally.
346
00:13:42,558 --> 00:13:43,926
Well, figuratively.
347
00:13:43,994 --> 00:13:47,897
- If it was literally...
- The wine... you drugged the wine?
348
00:13:47,964 --> 00:13:51,233
Yeah, sorry, I thought you might
freak out when I told you all this.
349
00:13:51,301 --> 00:13:56,171
- Pfff, sunnersannable, I'd do me...
- And also when I told you I
350
00:13:56,239 --> 00:14:00,075
actually did steal the uranium
and murder my fellow agents.
351
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,945
- You dick...
- To fund our life together, dude!
352
00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:06,448
Which will start right after I
go murder your fellow agents.
353
00:14:06,516 --> 00:14:08,579
Way way way way, hang on.
354
00:14:08,699 --> 00:14:12,080
You had same wine, how you not get drug?
355
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,837
Coated the inside of the glass.
356
00:14:13,957 --> 00:14:15,222
Heh!
357
00:14:15,342 --> 00:14:17,821
Classic you!
358
00:14:21,157 --> 00:14:23,891
Well this is a frickin disaster!
359
00:14:23,959 --> 00:14:24,725
I know.
360
00:14:24,793 --> 00:14:28,733
When Ron said we were going on a
cruise, I almost vomited blood.
361
00:14:28,853 --> 00:14:31,521
No. Nobody's doing
their peer reviews!
362
00:14:31,589 --> 00:14:33,422
Pam, the word "disaster"
363
00:14:33,491 --> 00:14:35,692
implies it's something
that actually matters.
364
00:14:35,759 --> 00:14:36,993
It matters to me!
365
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,862
Well, but you don't.
366
00:14:38,929 --> 00:14:41,498
Well then maybe instead of
doing my job I'll go hang out
367
00:14:41,565 --> 00:14:44,501
in Vermont with Luke Troy
and all the other assholes!
368
00:14:44,568 --> 00:14:46,102
What?!
369
00:14:46,169 --> 00:14:47,236
Oops.
370
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:50,373
Trace Sterling's phone, and
scramble every available field agent!
371
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,142
I want them all converging
on his location!
372
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:55,879
- They... kinda already are...
- There's only like
373
00:14:55,946 --> 00:14:56,379
two of 'em.
374
00:14:56,446 --> 00:14:59,415
So why are these damn
peer reviews so hard?!
375
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:05,588
Only like ten people work in this
whole goddamn chickenshit outfit!
376
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:06,255
Sorry.
377
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,244
Don't be.
378
00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:09,358
It is a chickenshit outfit.
379
00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:10,793
Look, for your information?
380
00:15:10,861 --> 00:15:14,731
Blaze orange is the safest color to wear
to avoid being accidentally shot at.
381
00:15:14,798 --> 00:15:18,701
What about intentionally shot at?!
382
00:15:18,769 --> 00:15:23,439
- Oh man, this is almost too easy...
- Oh for -- seriously?!
383
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:26,275
Yeah, gotta give 'em a head start.
384
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:29,079
One Sterling Archer,
two Sterling Archer...
385
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,814
Ooh, Sterling Archer-Troy.
386
00:15:31,882 --> 00:15:33,616
We can take each other's names.
387
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:36,218
I'd be --
Luuuuke!
388
00:15:36,286 --> 00:15:38,755
C'mon, you're not thinking straight!
389
00:15:38,822 --> 00:15:44,393
A, you wildly underestimated my
liver's ability to metabolize toxins!
390
00:15:44,461 --> 00:15:48,798
And B, why would you possibly have these?
391
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:51,768
Because I'm not the idiot
who took his idiot clothes off!
392
00:15:51,835 --> 00:15:54,236
Just your jacket, c'mon, I'm freezing!
393
00:15:54,304 --> 00:15:55,304
No!
394
00:15:55,372 --> 00:16:00,309
I am gonna give you the worst
peer review in the history of... them!
395
00:16:02,846 --> 00:16:03,613
Hey, Lana!
396
00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:04,447
Where's Archer?!
397
00:16:04,514 --> 00:16:05,314
Did you kill him?!
398
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:06,415
He's fine.
399
00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:07,650
Unlike your aim.
400
00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:09,652
Guess you never learned
how to shoot, huh?
401
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:10,319
What?!
402
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:11,187
First of all!
403
00:16:11,254 --> 00:16:11,921
Shitass!
404
00:16:11,989 --> 00:16:13,255
Or take criticism.
405
00:16:13,323 --> 00:16:14,323
Strongly agree.
406
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,858
And from where?
407
00:16:15,926 --> 00:16:17,293
Under.
408
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:17,627
Wear.
409
00:16:17,695 --> 00:16:19,328
What was it we used to call you?
410
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:20,329
Truckasaurus?
411
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,197
Cyril?
412
00:16:21,264 --> 00:16:24,533
No, it was...
oh yeah, Spray-and-Pray!
413
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:27,036
Dammit!
414
00:16:27,104 --> 00:16:28,705
We also called you Shirley Temper.
415
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:29,973
Uh, Cyril?
416
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,641
Which, ya know, lame.
417
00:16:31,709 --> 00:16:33,409
But accurate.
418
00:16:33,477 --> 00:16:36,345
Again, unlike your aim.
419
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,514
Which is why I always thought
it was weird that you only ever
420
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,349
carried two magazines.
421
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,352
Section three, Organization Skills!
422
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:43,753
Cyril!
423
00:16:43,821 --> 00:16:46,589
"Employee is often
unprepared for important meetings!"
424
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,357
Strongly agree!
425
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,359
You left your gun in a pile of clothes!
426
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:51,861
Because I had nowhere to put it!
427
00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:56,532
And yet you found room for a twentypage
wad of Pam's stupid peer review!
428
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,235
It's important to her!
429
00:16:59,302 --> 00:17:04,340
Okay, so... Don't really
know what to make of that.
430
00:17:04,407 --> 00:17:07,810
Unless... Wait, no, get
it out of your head.
431
00:17:07,878 --> 00:17:11,180
Predator only hunts in tropical jungles.
432
00:17:11,248 --> 00:17:12,414
I assume.
433
00:17:12,482 --> 00:17:14,350
And desperately hope.
434
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,386
Dammit!
435
00:17:20,590 --> 00:17:21,223
Well?!
436
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,692
Have you found Sterling?!
437
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,400
Well his phone's in this house.
438
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:27,897
It's about twenty miles north of
Bennington, so I assume it's a B&B.
439
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,398
Well, you would know.
440
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:32,935
And if you want to keep those teeth,
missy, you won't suck them at me!
441
00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:35,905
- You know...
- Shut up, have you tried calling him?!
442
00:17:36,506 --> 00:17:39,876
Ha ha haa! Leave it!
443
00:17:39,943 --> 00:17:40,409
Yes.
444
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:42,879
- The voice mailbox of...
- You could've just said
445
00:17:42,946 --> 00:17:45,048
so, you little -- Alright!
446
00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:47,016
I swear to God, you people?
447
00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:48,804
Just say the word on the nerve gas.
448
00:17:48,852 --> 00:17:54,356
Feel like I owe you a freebie after
the whole ant-Krieger thing.
449
00:17:54,424 --> 00:17:57,426
I can't, go anymore, can't do it.
450
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,428
Section Four, Running.
451
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,831
Employee sucks ass at it.
452
00:18:01,899 --> 00:18:03,199
Strongly agree.
453
00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:04,400
Lana?!
454
00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:05,434
Little geek dude?!
455
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:10,873
My only regret, is I won't, get
to turn this in, because it is scathing.
456
00:18:10,941 --> 00:18:13,442
That can't possibly,
be your only regret.
457
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,277
Well there's dating you.
458
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,547
Actually no, that was... far and away the
best thing that ever happened to me.
459
00:18:18,615 --> 00:18:23,019
So as much as I'd like to, I don't
think now's an optimal time for that.
460
00:18:23,087 --> 00:18:25,121
Aww, really?
461
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:27,590
- I mean, if you think we have time...
- Cyril!
462
00:18:27,657 --> 00:18:28,157
Ahh!
463
00:18:28,158 --> 00:18:29,458
Yeah we don't have time!
464
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,460
Not for this, dickbrain.
465
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:32,161
For that.
466
00:18:32,229 --> 00:18:36,065
What, what is... oh. Ohh, okay!
467
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:37,054
But do get naked.
468
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:37,934
Panties too.
469
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:39,468
Yeah, they're called briefs?
470
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:42,338
Yeah, you're a grown man?
471
00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:44,473
Yeah, that's our Lana.
472
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:48,611
Let's see, so judging from the shell
ejection she was firing at...
473
00:18:48,678 --> 00:18:51,647
What I really hope was not an ent.
474
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:55,351
Because that is like the
last thing we need.
475
00:18:55,418 --> 00:18:56,485
An entmoot.
476
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:59,922
Oh my God what if I'm gay for Tolkien?
477
00:18:59,990 --> 00:19:00,623
Dude.
478
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:03,292
Seriously, not that it's gonna
matter in thirty seconds...
479
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,627
But what is your problem?
480
00:19:04,694 --> 00:19:08,097
- Well, besides Lana ditching me...
- For what, an entmoot?
481
00:19:08,165 --> 00:19:10,266
Ya know, cause she's got
those big-ass tree-hands?
482
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:12,601
I'd have to go with hypothermia.
483
00:19:12,669 --> 00:19:15,938
- Well, I know a cure for that...
- Oh my God, not in my face!
484
00:19:16,006 --> 00:19:18,141
Said your mom, BOOM!
485
00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:20,643
Sorry, that's terrible to
hear that right before you...
486
00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:22,444
What in the... hell... is...?
487
00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:24,013
Well, you know what they say.
488
00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:26,515
Big hands... Big dick.
489
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,517
Noooooooooo!
490
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,121
- Ew.
- Gross.
491
00:19:32,189 --> 00:19:32,789
Luke?!
492
00:19:32,856 --> 00:19:33,355
Archer?!
493
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:34,824
Shut up, Luke?!
494
00:19:34,892 --> 00:19:35,825
Archer?
495
00:19:35,893 --> 00:19:37,326
Oh dude, is it bad?
496
00:19:37,394 --> 00:19:40,263
There's a... kind of
a lot of blood down there.
497
00:19:40,330 --> 00:19:41,530
Said your mom.
498
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:42,665
Oh my God, I'm sorry.
499
00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:43,532
Seriously.
500
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,067
No, for everything.
501
00:19:45,135 --> 00:19:49,672
The uranium, killing my fellow
agents, that hobo I set on fire
502
00:19:49,739 --> 00:19:53,209
after I paid him to get his teeth
drilled to match my dental records?
503
00:19:53,277 --> 00:19:54,677
Jesus, the dentist?
504
00:19:54,744 --> 00:19:57,046
God damn, dude.
505
00:19:57,114 --> 00:19:57,914
I know.
506
00:19:57,981 --> 00:20:01,383
But I only did it because I wanted
us to be together, forever.
507
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:01,851
Called it.
508
00:20:01,919 --> 00:20:03,853
I've loved you since the day we met.
509
00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:09,158
So mostly I'm sorry for... remember
that training mission in the D.R.?
510
00:20:09,226 --> 00:20:12,895
Uh... yeah, tap-and-trace
on the Cuban embassy.
511
00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:15,031
Then we got shit-housed on mamajuana.
512
00:20:15,098 --> 00:20:18,234
And then you passed out in your room.
513
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,536
Um... yeah...
514
00:20:20,603 --> 00:20:22,238
Well, after you
515
00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:23,572
passed out, I --
516
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:24,373
Luke?
517
00:20:24,441 --> 00:20:25,574
If you really do love me?
518
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:26,575
You know I do.
519
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,845
Then please don't finish that sentence.
520
00:20:28,912 --> 00:20:29,445
Dude.
521
00:20:29,512 --> 00:20:30,633
It's my deathbed confession.
522
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,723
C'mon, I'm dying.
523
00:20:31,754 --> 00:20:35,156
Well I'm not, so please, don't --
After you passed out.
524
00:20:35,224 --> 00:20:38,059
I snuck into your room with a
big bottle of suntan oil, put
525
00:20:38,127 --> 00:20:44,766
- on some Al Green, and...
- Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
526
00:20:57,644 --> 00:20:59,549
Can we have the radio?
527
00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:08,667
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
527
00:21:09,305 --> 00:21:15,320
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