1
00:00:03,658 --> 00:00:13,147
GILLETTE: Okay, okay, you got it, you
got it, you... Good morning, floor.
2
00:00:13,215 --> 00:00:14,415
[ Beeping ]
3
00:00:14,521 --> 00:00:17,956
Good morning asshole smoke alarm!
4
00:00:18,024 --> 00:00:19,791
And good morning, medical bills.
5
00:00:19,859 --> 00:00:22,488
Oh, and your friend, crippling debt.
6
00:00:29,836 --> 00:00:33,905
No no no no no no!
7
00:00:33,973 --> 00:00:37,843
Good morning, bittersweet memories.
8
00:00:37,910 --> 00:00:41,413
Good morning, bag of the unspeakable.
9
00:00:41,481 --> 00:00:47,519
And good morning to you, Archer...
The other shitbag in my life!
10
00:00:47,535 --> 00:00:48,887
It's broken?
11
00:00:48,902 --> 00:00:51,070
REPAIRMAN: Huh?!
GILLETTE: The elevator's broken?
12
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,010
REPAIRMAN: Huh?!
GILLETTE: The elevator.
13
00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:55,269
REPAIRMAN: Huh?!
GILLETTE: The elevator!
14
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,772
REPAIRMAN: - Outta order.
GILLETTE: - I can see that!
15
00:00:57,783 --> 00:00:59,600
REPAIRMAN: Why the hell did you ask?
16
00:01:06,105 --> 00:01:11,748
[ Strained grunts and groans ]
17
00:01:13,799 --> 00:01:15,354
MALORY: - You're late.
GILLETTE: - I...
18
00:01:15,369 --> 00:01:16,900
ARCHER: Jesus, sweat much?
19
00:01:16,916 --> 00:01:19,046
GILLETTE: The elevator's broken...
ARCHER: No shit.
20
00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:22,720
GILLETTE:... and once again, you parked
that ridiculous car in my space!
21
00:01:22,736 --> 00:01:26,435
ARCHER: Well, A, the El Camino is not a car...
GILLETTE: Truck, whatever!
22
00:01:26,451 --> 00:01:29,697
ARCHER: Nor is it a truck, it's a...
LANA: Vehicular hermaphrodite.
23
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,561
ARCHER: Shut up, and B...
wait, what was B?
24
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,789
I dunno, we'll say B was "shut up."
And are we done here?
25
00:01:36,816 --> 00:01:39,168
I need to go not pack some
shoes, since I'm gonna buy
26
00:01:39,185 --> 00:01:41,119
about ten pairs when we get there.
27
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,655
- GILLETTE: Get where?
- LANA: Roooome!
28
00:01:43,663 --> 00:01:47,632
GILLETTE: What?! Not for the Morelli thing!
I planned that entire operation!
29
00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:51,508
MALORY: Yes, and you did excellent legwork...
ARCHER: But now it requires
30
00:01:51,531 --> 00:01:54,700
literal legwork, Ray, like
walking, and maybe running.
31
00:01:54,729 --> 00:01:57,769
Although hopefully not running,
because I'll be in brand-new shoes.
32
00:01:57,777 --> 00:01:59,382
GILLETTE: That is so unfair!
33
00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:01,924
ARCHER: Not as unfair
as how laid I'm gonna get.
34
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,744
Ciao, bella, ho scarpe nuove!
35
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:08,245
LANA: Sorry, honey.
CYRIL: Yeah, we'll bring you a present.
36
00:02:08,246 --> 00:02:11,950
GILLETTE: Oh, blow me.
ARCHER: Why? You couldn't feel it!
37
00:02:11,994 --> 00:02:13,378
GILLETTE: [Weary sigh]
38
00:02:13,395 --> 00:02:14,965
KRIEGER: [ A-hum ]
GILLETTE: What.
39
00:02:14,981 --> 00:02:17,374
KRIEGER: Nothing, I'm just curious...
GILLETTE: A bag.
40
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,392
GILLETTE: I piss and shit in a plastic bag.
KRIEGER: Me too!
41
00:02:20,405 --> 00:02:22,950
But actually, I was wondering
if you'd like to walk again.
42
00:02:22,965 --> 00:02:27,312
GILLETTE: No, Krieger, because this
way I never have to buy new shoes!
43
00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:29,768
KRIEGER: Yeah, but is that worth it?
44
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:37,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
45
00:02:50,889 --> 00:03:01,766
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:03:05,657 --> 00:03:07,090
GILLETTE: Robot legs.
47
00:03:07,111 --> 00:03:09,972
KRIEGER: No, this has nothing
to do with robotics!
48
00:03:09,996 --> 00:03:13,905
I'm talking about bionics!
From the Greek for... like... kickass!
49
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,707
GILLETTE: Is there a
Greek word for "insane"?
50
00:03:15,708 --> 00:03:18,203
KRIEGER: Yes! I mean
I assume there is, but...
51
00:03:18,216 --> 00:03:23,711
GILLETTE: If you think I'm gonna let you turn
me into some cyborg zombie like Katya...
52
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,437
KRIEGER: Whoa whoa whoa whoa, no!
53
00:03:25,451 --> 00:03:29,420
Zombie implies I raised her from the dead.
GILLETTE: Oh, then I'm using it correctly.
54
00:03:29,457 --> 00:03:33,291
KRIEGER: No, you're not. For one thing,
Katya wasn't completely dead.
55
00:03:33,311 --> 00:03:34,911
GILLETTE: Just pretty dead?
56
00:03:35,161 --> 00:03:38,429
[ Involuntary shuddering ]
57
00:03:38,455 --> 00:03:39,927
KRIEGER: So pretty...
58
00:03:39,955 --> 00:03:41,341
GILLETTE: Hello?
KRIEGER: Hm?
59
00:03:41,366 --> 00:03:44,639
Oh, so, nothing a few hundred
thousand volts couldn't cure.
60
00:03:44,672 --> 00:03:46,739
The human body's basically
a potato clock.
61
00:03:46,761 --> 00:03:48,829
GILLETTE: So, it's gonna
look like I'm leaving?
62
00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:51,698
But that's only because I'm leaving.
KRIEGER: Why won't you let me help you?!
63
00:03:51,718 --> 00:03:53,946
GILLETTE: Besides the fact
you'll probably kill me?!
64
00:03:53,980 --> 00:03:56,517
KRIEGER: Yes!
GILLETTE: Because it's wrong!
65
00:03:56,541 --> 00:03:59,041
And I may have wandered pretty
far from the Church,
66
00:03:59,058 --> 00:04:02,225
but I do still believe there are some
things that only God should do!
67
00:04:02,252 --> 00:04:04,053
KRIEGER: Like give you an erection?!
68
00:04:04,081 --> 00:04:08,818
GILLETTE: I'm assuming you mean "give
me the ability to have an erection"?
69
00:04:08,847 --> 00:04:10,382
KRIEGER: Also, yes.
70
00:04:10,407 --> 00:04:12,253
LANA: No!
ARCHER: Yes, Lana!
71
00:04:12,281 --> 00:04:16,238
LANA: We don't need a...
ARCHER: Rocket launcher, si, molto pronto!
72
00:04:16,253 --> 00:04:20,165
RODNEY: Mmmmneew, not on the pre-approved
list of equipment for this mission.
73
00:04:20,166 --> 00:04:21,419
ARCHER: The what?
RODNEY: The...
74
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,092
ARCHER: I heard you!
RODNEY: Why'd you ask?
75
00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:25,860
LANA: Pre-approved by whom?!
ARCHER: Oh, now you're on my side.
76
00:04:25,861 --> 00:04:27,609
LANA: Shut up.
ARCHER: Common enemy.
77
00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:30,651
CYRIL: That's how Lana and I started dating.
LANA: Shut up.
78
00:04:30,658 --> 00:04:32,806
Pre-approved, by whom.
79
00:04:32,827 --> 00:04:35,609
RODNEY: Ms. Archer.
ARCHER: Wh-? She doesn't know what we need!
80
00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:38,331
LANA: The last time she was in the field,
they were still using muskets!
81
00:04:38,332 --> 00:04:39,894
CYRIL: Really?
LANA: Seriously?
82
00:04:39,915 --> 00:04:41,115
CYRIL: No?
83
00:04:41,116 --> 00:04:44,653
ARCHER: Look dipshit, my mother obviously
doesn't know about this stuff, so...
84
00:04:44,654 --> 00:04:48,239
RODNEY: So she goes by my personal,
professional recommendations.
85
00:04:48,256 --> 00:04:50,757
LANA: I'm gonna need you to repeat that.
86
00:04:50,788 --> 00:04:54,471
RODNEY: I said...
LANA: No no, shh, after I come back there
87
00:04:54,472 --> 00:04:57,087
and pull your tongue
out through your...
88
00:04:57,113 --> 00:04:58,546
LANA: Asshole!
ARCHER, CYRIL: Ew.
89
00:04:58,553 --> 00:05:01,531
RODNEY: You'd need a bulldozer
made of acid to get in here.
90
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:02,785
ARCHER: Ooh, or Spacebot!
91
00:05:02,806 --> 00:05:05,075
RODNEY: And if you continue
to behave threateningly...
92
00:05:05,101 --> 00:05:06,859
LANA: You haven't
seen threateningly.
93
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,942
RODNEY: You'll need one
to get out of there.
94
00:05:11,246 --> 00:05:12,713
ARCHER: Remember Spacebot?
95
00:05:12,714 --> 00:05:13,916
Guys?
96
00:05:13,927 --> 00:05:16,569
KRIEGER: And so, a small power
unit goes here, on your uh,
97
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:20,897
spiny thing, which sends electrical
impulses to your muscles and ligaments and
98
00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:24,406
stuff, which I will fuse to a
vanadium alloy endoskeleton,
99
00:05:24,426 --> 00:05:27,619
replacing your current, um, legbones.
100
00:05:27,629 --> 00:05:29,919
GILLETTE: I have to say it kind
of worries me you don't know the
101
00:05:29,927 --> 00:05:31,557
names of the actual bones.
102
00:05:31,558 --> 00:05:33,990
KRIEGER: Who cares?
Zrrp, they're in the dumpster.
103
00:05:34,002 --> 00:05:38,881
GILLETTE: Ew. Wait, then all I need is the
power unit, not a bunch of vanadium bones!
104
00:05:38,882 --> 00:05:40,282
KRIEGER: Yeah, but they're awesome.
105
00:05:40,291 --> 00:05:43,218
GILLETTE: But if you don't put everything
back where it's supposed to go...
106
00:05:43,241 --> 00:05:45,177
KRIEGER: I've already done it twice!
107
00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:49,356
There you go, Conway.
108
00:05:49,393 --> 00:05:53,420
Plus when I'm taking out the old bones
I take tons of pictures with my phone.
109
00:05:53,444 --> 00:05:55,825
GILLETTE: Oh, well then
what could go wrong?
110
00:05:55,857 --> 00:05:57,937
KRIEGER: Seriously?
GILLETTE: Sarcastically.
111
00:05:57,971 --> 00:06:00,645
KRIEGER: Oh.
Because you could die.
112
00:06:00,679 --> 00:06:04,853
GILLETTE: I realize that. And I'll, ya
know, sign a release form or whatever...
113
00:06:04,869 --> 00:06:06,459
KRIEGER: Oh, that's not necessary.
GILLETTE: Really?
114
00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:09,824
KRIEGER: No, I mean if, God
forbid, the worst happens...
115
00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:12,195
There's lots of dumpsters.
GILLETTE: Jesus.
116
00:06:12,221 --> 00:06:15,768
KRIEGER: Sure, if he helps.
GILLETTE: Whew, okay, so when do we do this?
117
00:06:15,783 --> 00:06:18,685
KRIEGER: Well, you should already be
feeling the effects of the anesthetic...
118
00:06:18,717 --> 00:06:21,615
GILLETTE: The...
God damn it, Krieger!
119
00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:25,124
KRIEGER: So whenever my assistants get here.
PAM: What's up, spaghetti-legs?
120
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:27,134
GILLETTE: Wait a minute!
KRIEGER: Yeah, where's Carol?
121
00:06:27,150 --> 00:06:29,749
PAM: Gettin' that list
of shit you wanted.
122
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:33,854
LANA: Thank you!
CHERYL/CAROL: Seriously! What am I, hourly?!
123
00:06:33,855 --> 00:06:35,599
CYRIL: Are you not?
CHERYL/CAROL: I don't know!
124
00:06:35,624 --> 00:06:38,638
LANA: Move. Oh, and when
I'm through talking to Malory?
125
00:06:38,639 --> 00:06:41,389
I wouldn't be surprised if you
find yourself out of a job.
126
00:06:41,398 --> 00:06:42,765
RODNEY: I would.
CYRIL: Burn.
127
00:06:42,795 --> 00:06:45,106
LANA: Cyril?!
ARCHER: Is it Halloween already?
128
00:06:45,124 --> 00:06:46,124
CHERYL/CAROL: I don't know!
129
00:06:46,127 --> 00:06:47,493
ARCHER: Then why are
you dressed like that?
130
00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:50,985
CHERYL/CAROL: Because, duh, I'm helping
Krieger turn Ray into a stupid cyborg.
131
00:06:51,005 --> 00:06:51,931
ARCHER: A what?!
132
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,821
CHERYL/CAROL: But I guess
some cyborgs are smart...
133
00:06:53,850 --> 00:06:55,483
ARCHER: What are you talking about?!
134
00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:58,801
CHERYL/CAROL: Well, you gotta be pretty smart
to fool the ol' Voight-Kampff machine.
135
00:06:58,829 --> 00:07:02,234
ARCHER: In Krieger's lab?!
CHERYL/CAROL: Anywhere, duh, it's portable.
136
00:07:02,253 --> 00:07:04,588
ARCHER: No no no no no!
137
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,067
CHERYL/CAROL: Uh, yes it is.
138
00:07:06,089 --> 00:07:07,582
Yo, Magnum P.U.
139
00:07:07,602 --> 00:07:11,252
I need a lead-acid battery, fifty
units of plasma, some bolt cutters,
140
00:07:11,272 --> 00:07:15,710
and something called a...
Defrimbulator?
141
00:07:15,722 --> 00:07:17,222
That's a made-up word.
142
00:07:17,235 --> 00:07:18,686
RODNEY: They're all made up.
143
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:21,348
CHERYL/CAROL: [ Laughs ]
144
00:07:21,376 --> 00:07:24,032
Mind! Blown!
145
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:27,970
GILLETTE: Yeah, what
could go wrong...
146
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:31,336
ARCHER: Ray's gonna be a cyborg
over my dead body!
147
00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:33,112
Or preferably his!
148
00:07:33,127 --> 00:07:34,983
But somebody's!
149
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:41,076
GILLETTE: What could
possibly, go, wrrngzzzzzz.
150
00:07:41,607 --> 00:07:44,053
PAM: Hey, should I wash my hands?
151
00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:45,338
KRIEGER: I didn't.
152
00:07:55,544 --> 00:07:58,279
ARCHER: Krieger! Krieger!
153
00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:00,951
Krieger open this goddamn door!
154
00:08:00,995 --> 00:08:03,255
Krieger I am gonna count to one!
155
00:08:03,287 --> 00:08:06,391
PAM: Oh that's right, he hates robots!
156
00:08:06,455 --> 00:08:09,061
KRIEGER: For the... this! Is a robot!
157
00:08:09,086 --> 00:08:10,975
Gillette is a human being!
158
00:08:11,014 --> 00:08:14,169
But he won't be for long if
you don't clamp that artery!
159
00:08:14,206 --> 00:08:15,740
ARCHER: One!
160
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,567
ARCHER: Brett?
161
00:08:19,635 --> 00:08:21,469
What in the hell...?
162
00:08:21,591 --> 00:08:22,953
RON: Were those gunshots?!
163
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:26,127
MALORY: Oh, who knows with these people,
it's one calamity after another.
164
00:08:26,151 --> 00:08:32,028
RON: That's, yes, exactly, that's why
you need a nice long relaxing cruise!
165
00:08:32,060 --> 00:08:37,418
MALORY: But I really really really
really really don't think I'll enjoy it.
166
00:08:37,486 --> 00:08:39,420
RON: Sure you will.
167
00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:45,092
ARCHER: Brett?!
LANA: Archer!
168
00:08:45,128 --> 00:08:46,496
What the shit are you doing?!
169
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,297
ARCHER: Um, investigating
a ballistic anomaly.
170
00:08:49,348 --> 00:08:50,725
C'mon, walk and talk.
171
00:08:50,756 --> 00:08:54,262
I don't even think he's on this floor, but
idiot Brett still managed to get shot.
172
00:08:54,294 --> 00:08:56,271
LANA: Yeah, he's the idiot.
173
00:08:56,305 --> 00:08:58,318
ARCHER: Right?
CYRIL: You idiot!
174
00:08:58,340 --> 00:09:01,508
If I hadn't checked the time at that
exact second I'd be dead right now!
175
00:09:01,531 --> 00:09:05,180
ARCHER: Which reminds me, Grover Cleveland
called, he wants his watch back.
176
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,340
LANA: Archer... ARCHER: He left
two non-consecutive messages.
177
00:09:08,377 --> 00:09:10,645
CYRIL: This was my
grandfather's, you ass!
178
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,149
ARCHER: I'll buy you another one!
179
00:09:12,154 --> 00:09:14,155
Now how were you holding
it, like, exactly!
180
00:09:14,168 --> 00:09:19,658
CYRIL: I... I dunno, like this I guess...
ARCHER: Okay, sooooo... Boom.
181
00:09:19,669 --> 00:09:23,372
C'mon, this is awesome, it's like
we're the Warren Commission.
182
00:09:23,468 --> 00:09:25,135
Look look look, check it out!
183
00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:26,741
It's a real magic bullet!
184
00:09:26,772 --> 00:09:29,440
LANA: Why the hell were you shooting
at Krieger's door in the first place?
185
00:09:29,470 --> 00:09:31,003
ARCHER: Oh shit, right!
186
00:09:31,009 --> 00:09:33,306
Brett, this might be some kind of record!
187
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:36,179
So if you can move, don't!
188
00:09:36,207 --> 00:09:37,539
I gotta go stop him!
189
00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:38,783
LANA: Stop who?!
190
00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:40,277
ARCHER: "Whom!"
LANA: Archer!
191
00:09:40,278 --> 00:09:43,552
ARCHER: Krieger!
He's making a gay terminator!
192
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:45,850
LANA: Aaaaand yep.
193
00:09:45,891 --> 00:09:47,591
Officially confused.
194
00:09:47,615 --> 00:09:50,637
CYRIL: Yeah, did he mean
a terminator of gays?
195
00:09:50,662 --> 00:09:53,668
Because Krieger's creepy and
weird, but he's not homophobic,
196
00:09:53,698 --> 00:09:58,702
I don't think, so he must've meant...
well, no, aren't terminators asexual?
197
00:09:58,739 --> 00:10:01,417
KRIEGER: Not when I'm done with him...
PAM: C'mon, how's that even
198
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:05,342
supposed to... fit inside
another human being?
199
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:08,679
KRIEGER: Oh. That shouldn't
be doing that. There we go.
200
00:10:08,698 --> 00:10:11,596
PAM: No no no, do it again,
do it again, do it a...
201
00:10:11,634 --> 00:10:13,805
KRIEGER: This man is barely
clinging to life, woman!
202
00:10:13,819 --> 00:10:15,587
Get a hold of yourself!
PAM: Sorry.
203
00:10:15,603 --> 00:10:18,107
KRIEGER: And then get a hold
of your goddamn beer can!
204
00:10:18,135 --> 00:10:22,638
PAM: Sorry. Jeez... Ehh...
205
00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:27,665
KRIEGER: Blood pressure?
PAM: I'll be honest, it's not great.
206
00:10:27,697 --> 00:10:31,368
KRIEGER: Wh-? I'm talking about his!
PAM: [ Burps ] Me too.
207
00:10:31,436 --> 00:10:32,719
MALORY: Since when?
208
00:10:32,737 --> 00:10:36,912
ARCHER: Since the... the new intelligence,
Mother, from Ray, about the mission!
209
00:10:36,942 --> 00:10:38,702
MALORY: That says you
need a rocket launcher?
210
00:10:38,743 --> 00:10:39,977
ARCHER: Yes!
211
00:10:39,978 --> 00:10:41,187
RON: Can I...
ARCHER: No.
212
00:10:41,188 --> 00:10:43,993
RON:... just sort of interject
here, Malory, this is exactly
213
00:10:44,017 --> 00:10:46,930
what I'm talking about, with the stress...
MALORY: Ron?
214
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,021
ARCHER: Seriously, Ron,
why aren't you at work?
215
00:10:49,052 --> 00:10:52,819
RON: Because I spent thirty years building
the business so I don't have to be!
216
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,887
Because I hired good managers!
217
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:58,084
Walk into any one of my six dealerships...
ARCHER: Not six...
218
00:10:58,099 --> 00:11:02,294
RON: Next year it'll be seven, sport,
we just broke ground in White Plains.
219
00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:04,757
ARCHER: That's actually fairly impressive.
RON: You have no idea.
220
00:11:04,782 --> 00:11:06,042
With that city council?
221
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:09,656
MALORY: Ron this isn't a car dealership,
it's... RON: The same principle!
222
00:11:09,687 --> 00:11:12,686
You build it, hire people
you trust to manage it.
223
00:11:12,696 --> 00:11:14,417
MALORY: Ha!
ARCHER: Yeah, ha.
224
00:11:14,418 --> 00:11:16,352
RON:... and then you collect
the fruits of their labor!
225
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,764
Because don't, please, don't
take this the wrong way, babe -
226
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,833
but you're not getting any younger.
227
00:11:25,038 --> 00:11:28,186
MALORY: You said a rocket launcher?
ARCHER: I did.
228
00:11:28,214 --> 00:11:30,122
I did say a rocket launcher.
229
00:11:30,154 --> 00:11:32,324
MALORY: Then give this to whosits.
ARCHER: I will.
230
00:11:32,345 --> 00:11:34,028
I will give this to whosits.
231
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,781
RON: And call me if you ever wanna
test drive the new Coupe de Ville.
232
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:40,966
ARCHER: Well, I just got a new El Camino...
RON: Oh, so you're all set.
233
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,335
That'll hold way more
Hispanics and lawnmowers.
234
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,004
MALORY: [ Explosive laughter ]
235
00:11:46,031 --> 00:11:47,440
ARCHER: Wow.
MALORY: I know!
236
00:11:47,464 --> 00:11:50,713
That's why I can never stay mad at him!
237
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:52,745
RON: Right?
238
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,212
Wait, why were you mad?
239
00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:58,303
LANA: Because I think Krieger's doing some
kinda... bionic shit to Ray's legs!
240
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:01,219
CYRIL: And Archer, obviously...
LANA: Would rather see Ray dead!
241
00:12:01,248 --> 00:12:06,647
CYRIL: Jeezy P, I mean, besides Barry and
Katya, what is his deal with robots?
242
00:12:07,088 --> 00:12:10,162
DOCTOR: Servant, call an ambulance.
WOODHOUSE: Yessir, right away sir!
243
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:13,065
MALORY: An ambulance?!
DOCTOR: He needs emergency surgery.
244
00:12:13,082 --> 00:12:15,738
And even then, it'll be a miracle
if we can save his testicles.
245
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,824
MALORY: But... what could
have caused this?!
246
00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:21,907
WOODHOUSE: Mumps?
DOCTOR: Or who knows.
247
00:12:21,944 --> 00:12:24,345
The important thing is,
what are you doing tonight?
248
00:12:24,373 --> 00:12:26,173
MALORY: I... oh!
249
00:12:26,187 --> 00:12:29,023
Well, I said I might meet some
people at this thing downtown,
250
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:32,624
but it sounded like it'll be pretty
heavy on Negroes and jazz, so...
251
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,667
DOCTOR: I happen to
love Negroes and jazz.
252
00:12:34,698 --> 00:12:37,160
MALORY: Oh! Well then
I'll just get my coat.
253
00:12:37,183 --> 00:12:38,441
WOODHOUSE: And I'll wait here.
254
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,960
For the ambulance to take your
grievously wounded child to the
255
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:43,395
hospital for emergency surgery?
256
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:47,908
MALORY: Yes, Woodhouse, and then you
can go buy some wax for your cross.
257
00:12:47,939 --> 00:12:49,273
LANA: Krieger?
258
00:12:49,317 --> 00:12:51,574
KRIEGER: Oh my God... I'm
a little busy right now!
259
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:55,172
LANA: Yeah I know, are you cyborging Ray?
260
00:12:55,188 --> 00:12:56,305
KRIEGER: No?
261
00:12:56,321 --> 00:12:59,044
LANA: Look, I think it's great
if you are... KRIEGER: Then yes!
262
00:12:59,065 --> 00:13:01,479
LANA: But I think Archer's
gonna try to stop you!
263
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:03,246
He's kinda freaking out!
264
00:13:03,279 --> 00:13:05,943
KRIEGER: Let him! That door
came off the Graf Spee!
265
00:13:05,944 --> 00:13:07,312
To get in here he'd need...
266
00:13:07,313 --> 00:13:10,478
RODNEY: One RPG-7 launcher
and two grenades.
267
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,814
As per the note from your mother.
268
00:13:12,841 --> 00:13:15,310
ARCHER: Thank you, uh, sorry,
what was your name again?
269
00:13:15,346 --> 00:13:18,597
RODNEY: Rodney.
ARCHER: Thank you, asshole.
270
00:13:21,537 --> 00:13:24,973
MALORY: What in the...? Why aren't you
people on the way to the airport?
271
00:13:25,041 --> 00:13:28,510
LANA: We may have sort
of a, uh, situation.
272
00:13:28,537 --> 00:13:30,373
MALORY: And what sort would that be?!
273
00:13:30,379 --> 00:13:32,447
RON: This is what I'm talking about...
MALORY: Ron!
274
00:13:32,462 --> 00:13:35,155
If you keep it up, this headache
you gave me is going to last for
275
00:13:35,184 --> 00:13:37,154
the next three to five nights.
276
00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:38,961
LANA: Look, don't worry, I can handle it.
277
00:13:38,974 --> 00:13:41,790
MALORY: But...
RON: Let her handle it! She seems capable.
278
00:13:41,819 --> 00:13:43,086
LANA: Hey, thanks.
279
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,913
RON: Reminds me of the head mechanic
at my dealership in Yonkers.
280
00:13:45,928 --> 00:13:47,629
He's a black.
LANA: Wow.
281
00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:49,568
RON: I know, and head mechanic!
282
00:13:49,598 --> 00:13:52,668
Now c'mon, babe, let these people do
whatever it is you pay them to do,
283
00:13:52,735 --> 00:13:54,502
and let's go start our weekend.
284
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:57,127
MALORY: Alright, but
don't miss that flight.
285
00:13:57,174 --> 00:14:00,508
God knows how long it takes to
check in with a rocket launcher.
286
00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,535
LANA: Oh, shit!
287
00:14:02,635 --> 00:14:05,776
CYRIL: Well calling the
airport's not gonna help.
288
00:14:06,491 --> 00:14:10,761
ARCHER: Oh, and one last thing, Rodney,
when I get back from Rome, you're...
289
00:14:10,790 --> 00:14:13,689
RODNEY: Hang on oooooone second.
Armory.
290
00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:16,598
CHERYL/CAROL: Hey will you bring
me a present? ARCHER: No.
291
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:19,360
RODNEY: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Ooookay.
292
00:14:19,381 --> 00:14:21,562
You were saying?
ARCHER: I... shit.
293
00:14:21,597 --> 00:14:24,866
Something about an asskicking
with handmade Italian shoes?
294
00:14:24,894 --> 00:14:28,465
RODNEY: Well, think about it,
you've got time.
295
00:14:28,738 --> 00:14:31,586
ARCHER: What do you think you're doing?
RODNEY: What do you think you're doing?!
296
00:14:31,607 --> 00:14:36,344
Obtaining armory materiel under false
pretenses is a fireable offense!
297
00:14:36,412 --> 00:14:40,749
ARCHER: Oh my... I basically just lurch
from one fireable offense to the next!
298
00:14:40,785 --> 00:14:43,280
CHERYL/CAROL: Ugh, like the
infamous "Luau Incident."
299
00:14:43,319 --> 00:14:46,627
ARCHER: Jesus Christ, how many times
do I have to apologize for that?!
300
00:14:46,655 --> 00:14:48,790
CHERYL/CAROL: Once would be nice!
301
00:14:48,858 --> 00:14:51,061
ARCHER: No.
Rodney, open this door.
302
00:14:51,085 --> 00:14:53,921
RODNEY: Give me that weapon.
ARCHER: Oh. You mean this rocket launcher?
303
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:56,664
Because I bet it would open the door.
304
00:14:56,694 --> 00:14:58,527
RODNEY: No, that is
inadvisable at this time.
305
00:14:58,556 --> 00:15:01,514
ARCHER: Ya know, if I asked it nicely.
RODNEY: I seriously wouldn't do that.
306
00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:03,958
ARCHER: Yeah, because you're not awesome.
307
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:09,443
MALORY: Oh, and what fresh hell is this?!
RON: Whatever it is, they can handle it!
308
00:15:09,489 --> 00:15:11,715
MALORY: They can't even
handle a simple luau!
309
00:15:11,751 --> 00:15:14,894
My God, what they did to that pig...
BRETT: Heeelp...
310
00:15:14,941 --> 00:15:17,722
MALORY: Brett?!
BRETT: Nghhh...
311
00:15:17,732 --> 00:15:21,383
MALORY: Great, now I get to slog my
new Delmans through a lake of blood.
312
00:15:21,407 --> 00:15:25,627
I want that all cleaned up before
Monday, mister! Do you hear me?!
313
00:15:25,647 --> 00:15:29,480
RODNEY: No... Because
that room is blast-proof!
314
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,078
ARCHER: Mawp.
315
00:15:31,237 --> 00:15:33,003
Maaaawp.
316
00:15:34,216 --> 00:15:35,720
Mawp.
317
00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:38,874
PAM: What the shit was that?!
318
00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:42,338
KRIEGER: Hopefully the last remaining
shred of Archer's eardrums.
319
00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:45,334
LANA: That crazy son of a... come on!
320
00:15:45,355 --> 00:15:48,591
CYRIL: Why is your instinctive
response to run toward explosions?!
321
00:15:48,621 --> 00:15:51,689
LANA: Mmm... because
I'm not a giant pussy?
322
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:53,479
CYRIL: Although, somehow,
incredibly single.
323
00:15:53,489 --> 00:15:56,469
LANA: Wh-?! I go on...
tons of dates!
324
00:15:56,492 --> 00:15:58,426
CYRIL: With who?!
LANA: Men!
325
00:15:58,494 --> 00:16:00,095
Men models!
326
00:16:00,162 --> 00:16:01,930
Men who model!
327
00:16:01,998 --> 00:16:03,599
[ High pitched whine ]
328
00:16:03,666 --> 00:16:06,307
CHERYL/CAROL:... permanent damage
to my earballs because you're too
329
00:16:06,368 --> 00:16:11,306
chickenshit to take your candy-ass to
the future and smash the defense grid
330
00:16:11,373 --> 00:16:14,109
so Skynet...
RODNEY: Whoa whoa whoa!
331
00:16:14,121 --> 00:16:16,912
Not cool, man!
That is not at all cool!
332
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:20,448
CHERYL/CAROL: Rodney you
mind your own dicky beeswax!
333
00:16:20,516 --> 00:16:22,550
You got another one in ya?
RODNEY: Ew.
334
00:16:22,619 --> 00:16:24,385
ARCHER: I don't...
CHERYL/CAROL: Tease.
335
00:16:24,453 --> 00:16:27,194
ARCHER:... and I'm sorry for that one...
CHERYL/CAROL: Don't be.
336
00:16:27,225 --> 00:16:29,483
ARCHER:... because I'm just
gonna say it, I think it's
337
00:16:29,525 --> 00:16:33,344
suuuper creepy you get sexually
aroused by physical violence.
338
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:37,465
CHERYL/CAROL: Well but
also emotional violence.
339
00:16:37,533 --> 00:16:39,001
ARCHER: Wow.
CHERYL/CAROL: Yeah.
340
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:42,904
ARCHER: That's even creepier.
So are you gonna open the damn door?
341
00:16:42,972 --> 00:16:44,506
RODNEY: As soon as you
give me that weapon.
342
00:16:44,573 --> 00:16:48,416
ARCHER: Wh-? Do you honestly wanna
live through the rise of the machines?!
343
00:16:48,486 --> 00:16:51,988
Which you won't, because no one will?!
344
00:16:52,055 --> 00:16:54,138
RODNEY: I...
ARCHER: It was rhetorical!
345
00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:02,665
So now if you'll excuse me... I
have an entire human race to save.
346
00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:04,934
RODNEY: What is he...
Hey, that's ISIS property!
347
00:17:05,002 --> 00:17:07,536
ARCHER: What this?
RODNEY: Yes.
348
00:17:07,585 --> 00:17:10,172
CHERYL/CAROL: Take me with you!
ARCHER: Shut up!
349
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:14,562
CHERYL/CAROL: Ooh, yeah, even that little
bit's enough to get the engine revved up.
350
00:17:14,587 --> 00:17:19,032
So Rodneeeeeey... Tease!
351
00:17:19,983 --> 00:17:21,612
CYRIL: Jeezy Petes...
352
00:17:21,628 --> 00:17:24,153
CHERYL/CAROL: Cyril what're you doing
right now?
353
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:27,097
CYRIL: I...
LANA: Helping me find Archer, where is he?!
354
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:30,496
LANA: Super.
355
00:17:30,528 --> 00:17:34,136
CYRIL: Are you calling the airport again?
LANA: Cyril shut your goddamn mouth!
356
00:17:34,159 --> 00:17:36,999
CHERYL/CAROL: [ Involuntary
shudder of pleasure ]
357
00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:40,770
KRIEGER: Hey, guess what's not
a good time? Wait, where?!
358
00:17:40,795 --> 00:17:44,749
PAM: Gotta be somewhere in there...
KRIEGER: Not you! And did you count right?
359
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:47,510
PAM: What, to five? Dicknuts?
LANA: Krieger!
360
00:17:47,541 --> 00:17:49,618
KRIEGER: Look, you gotta
keep him away from the lab!
361
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:53,349
We're almost done, if somebody
can find their last beer!
362
00:17:53,367 --> 00:17:56,268
PAM: [ Burps ] I can
promise it ain't my last.
363
00:17:56,286 --> 00:17:58,818
KRIEGER: I mean, I doubt
he can find it...
364
00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:02,004
ARCHER: God damn it.
I told 'em, I said...
365
00:18:02,043 --> 00:18:05,294
Maps!
All through the HVAC ducts!
366
00:18:05,362 --> 00:18:08,264
Or just at the, whatever, junctions.
367
00:18:08,278 --> 00:18:12,969
MALORY: I won't even waste however much
dryerase it'll take to write that down.
368
00:18:12,986 --> 00:18:18,109
ARCHER: No, Mother, because you were too
busy wasting it on "Fourth of Ju-Luau!"
369
00:18:18,809 --> 00:18:22,645
KRIEGER: But still, see if you can flush
him out. I'd hate to use the nerve gas.
370
00:18:22,713 --> 00:18:25,047
LANA: Do not!
Use the nerve gas!
371
00:18:25,081 --> 00:18:28,886
KRIEGER: And yet incredibly single...
LANA: How the hell do we flush him out?
372
00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:31,320
CHERYL/CAROL: Uh, duh...
REPAIRMAN: Huh?!
373
00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:34,442
LANA: I said, how hot can you make it?
374
00:18:35,759 --> 00:18:41,130
ARCHER: No no no... It's
already happening...
375
00:18:41,482 --> 00:18:43,825
LANA: Holy shit, already?
376
00:18:43,868 --> 00:18:46,335
GILLETTE: Yeah, I actually
feel pretty good.
377
00:18:46,403 --> 00:18:49,572
How is that possible?
KRIEGER: It's a proprietary blend.
378
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,281
And barring some sort
of massive infection...
379
00:18:52,312 --> 00:18:54,811
PAM: Don't look at me,
found number six!
380
00:18:54,839 --> 00:18:56,403
KRIEGER: You should be
up and around by Monday.
381
00:18:56,413 --> 00:19:00,295
GILLETTE: Well then can I go home?
Cause it's hot as balls up in here.
382
00:19:00,318 --> 00:19:03,486
ARCHER: The thermostat's
becoming sentient!
383
00:19:03,554 --> 00:19:07,722
Oh God! That's how
Maximum Overdrive started!
384
00:19:19,436 --> 00:19:21,532
MALORY: Well I'd be lying
if I said I cared...
385
00:19:21,558 --> 00:19:23,907
LANA: Wh-? Malory,
Ray can walk again!
386
00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:26,375
GILLETTE: Buh-duh-buh-baaaaa!
MALORY: You mean "mince?"
387
00:19:26,387 --> 00:19:28,006
GILLETTE: Ya know...
MALORY: Maybe he can mince
388
00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:31,382
to the bank and apply for a twelve
thousand dollar loan for a new furnace!
389
00:19:31,416 --> 00:19:34,468
Why did you idiots leave it
on ninety all weekend?!
390
00:19:37,484 --> 00:19:39,804
ARCHER: Your clothes.
Give them to me.
391
00:19:39,839 --> 00:19:41,307
CYRIL: Aaagh!
392
00:19:41,369 --> 00:19:45,773
ARCHER: I'm kidding, obviously, I wouldn't
be caught dead in a sweater vest.
393
00:19:45,796 --> 00:19:47,943
Now, if you'll excuse me...
394
00:19:48,669 --> 00:19:51,021
PAM: Just like
Fourth of Ju-Luau...
395
00:19:51,046 --> 00:19:54,215
CHERYL/CAROL: Yeah, if you
slid a pig under him.
396
00:19:54,974 --> 00:20:03,974
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
397
00:20:04,305 --> 00:20:10,833
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