1
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:07,053
Oh, come on, how long are
you guys gonna stay mad at me?
2
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,510
What, for getting
us all arrested
3
00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:11,721
for smuggling
cocaine into Colombia?
4
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,601
Probably the rest
of our damn lives.
5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,775
Which shouldn't be very long,
since we're headed to La Culebra,
6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,273
the most dangerous prison
in South America!
7
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,197
Well, Cyril, when we get there,
and I join the toughest gang,
8
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,024
don't hold your
breath for a bid.
9
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,324
A bid?
10
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,277
They're prison gangs,
not frats.
11
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,705
And don't call
a fraternity a frat!
12
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,836
No, I'm fine,
don't worry about me.
13
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,381
And don't worry about La Culebra,
gringos, you are not going there.
14
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,212
Well, that's good.
Is that good?
15
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,543
It doesn't
sound very good.
16
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,754
Why does that sound really,
really, really bad?
17
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:47,464
Because they're
gonna kill us. What?
18
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:53,471
Unless you got maybe,
$100,000 U.S. on you?
19
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:56,356
Well, not on me,
on me, but...
20
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,856
But when we're digging our own
graves they're gonna get cocky
21
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:02,188
and then we whang 'em
with our shovels, right?
22
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,615
Cyril, this isn't an episode of B.J.
and the Bear.
23
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:05,737
That was?
24
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,489
It's the jungle,
nobody digs graves,
25
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,367
they just kneel you down by a
ditch and put a bullet in your...
26
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,537
Cow!
27
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,365
Why would they
shoot your... Cow!
28
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:21,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
29
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,856
God...
30
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:56,867
Damn...
31
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,133
Well, now I'm
almost afraid to say...
32
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,343
Eat a dick, jungle.
33
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,556
Easy, easy, careful!
34
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,759
Cyril!
For the love of Christ, man.
35
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:57,056
Sorry.
You have to shut up.
36
00:02:57,135 --> 00:03:00,264
I am. Starting now.
Starting now...
37
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,599
Cyril?
Sorry.
38
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:03,855
What was that?
39
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,777
Probably a jaguar,
excited about
40
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,275
being magnificent
and crepuscular.
41
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,198
But I need you to
focus on me,
42
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,322
because if by some
miracle, I get the keys...
43
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:16,872
And then, by some other,
even bigger miracle,
44
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,449
get us out of these cuffs...
45
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,953
I am gonna beat
the shit out of you, Cyril!
46
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,879
I'm gonna beat the shit
outta both of y'all.
47
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,047
Oh, my God, Ray!
48
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,249
You're alive?
49
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,879
What? Did y'all
think I was dead?
50
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,802
Yeah, I totally did.
Well, I just assumed...
51
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,050
And you didn't
even take a moment?
52
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,052
I mean...
53
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,345
Screw you guys!
Ya know...
54
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,809
What is in your mouth?
55
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,637
Nothing.
It's the keys!
56
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,846
He's eating the keys?
57
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,021
Ray, don't you
eat those keys!
58
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,600
I'm not eating
the goddamn keys! Ow!
59
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,063
What're you
doing down there?
60
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:47,565
What do you
think I'm doing?
61
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,605
On. Sorry.
62
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,066
Do me! Do me. Do me.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
63
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,492
Ray! Do me.
64
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,698
Sorry. Do me. Please.
65
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,829
First promise you
won't be mad at me.
66
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,244
I... Wait, why would
I be mad at you?
67
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,246
Because you're an asshole!
68
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,165
I beg your pardon?
69
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,337
Since Cyril's not here,
I'm helping Cherlene
70
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,915
redline
her record contract.
71
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,922
And I think we should move on, they're
not gonna let you kill a guy.
72
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,093
What about a dwarf?
73
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,421
What about Sterling?
74
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,925
Wait, he's a dwarf now?
75
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,760
He's missing! With God knows how
much of our dwindling cocaine
76
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:21,095
and no one's doing
anything to find him!
77
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,480
If he calls here,
my plan, in its entirety,
78
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,977
is to ask him
where he is.
79
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,478
It has a simple elegance.
80
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,102
Well, have you
tried calling him?
81
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,278
The mailbox of...
82
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,196
Ar-ar-ar-archer
83
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,447
...is full, leave it.
84
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,743
All right! Turn it off!
Turn it off!
85
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,113
Ar-ar-ar-Archer...
86
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,239
I can’t! It's...
87
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,035
Aw!
Aw!
88
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,042
Okay, so he forwards his
phone here, that's easy,
89
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,123
then he taps the phone
line into the intercom,
90
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,084
they're both low-voltage,
no big deal,
91
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,636
but that's patched into
the actual house wiring,
92
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,133
obviously 110 AC,
93
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:59,763
which means he must've wired a
transformer in the circuit somewhere,
94
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:03,012
but he's got all these fake wires in
here, that don't connect to any...
95
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,228
Is this all just
a game to you people?
96
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,976
My God, I'm broke.
97
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,528
My husband kicked me
out of my own home,
98
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:15,904
we're running out of cocaine, and on
top of all that, my son is missing!
99
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,786
Um, okay,
if Archer calls, I'll...
100
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,410
No, please, don't disturb me, I
think I'm getting a migraine...
101
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,583
Outlaw country!
102
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,955
Whoo!
103
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:29,083
I honestly don't know
how much more I can take!
104
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,005
Wow, I think she
seriously might be,
105
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,337
like, nearing the
end of her rope.
106
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,513
Hey, speaking of rope...
107
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:39,931
You want cocaine?
108
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,013
Yay!
109
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,551
God damn it!
110
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,304
How is this my fault?
111
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:47,515
Because why do you
always get paralyzed?
112
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,144
Because why do
you always crash
113
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,976
every goddamn
vehicle I get in?
114
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,734
I didn't crash it! That crooked
idiot drunk murdering cop did!
115
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:58,109
Yeah, speaking of... These
guys don't look too good.
116
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,699
Well? They're gonna look even
worse when they're jaguar poop!
117
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,951
What? We can't
just leave them here.
118
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,327
As opposed
to what, Cyril?
119
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,160
You and I sling them over our
shoulders and climb 200 feet
120
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,792
straight up a cliff,
without a goddamn rope?
121
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,706
I... Wait, where am
I in that scenario?
122
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,588
I guess getting
pooped out of a jaguar!
123
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,465
Well, we definitely
can't leave Ray!
124
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,260
We have to! Ray, I'm sorry.
No, you're not!
125
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,057
I am, actually, which, whatever, but...
126
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,597
We are not leaving Ray.
127
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,642
What do you even
think you're doing?
128
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,940
I'm taking command!
129
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,521
Hey! I'm serious!
130
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:40,909
Oh, my God, okay.
That's really funny.
131
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,986
Thanks, Cyril,
I think we needed that.
132
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,071
We did,
we really did.
133
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,908
Man! Now gimme
the goddamn weapon.
134
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,836
You nut.
135
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,004
Thought you were
gonna hit me with it.
136
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,126
I was.
137
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,209
Okay, so how do we get Ray and
his useless legs out of here?
138
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,928
Well, now, I actually have
some thoughts on that.
139
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,013
God damn it.
140
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,350
I think it's
a pretty good plan, y'all.
141
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,018
No, it isn't!
142
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,262
We might as well
slather ourselves
143
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,348
with whatever it is
crocodiles eat,
144
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,683
and swim down!
145
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,022
What do crocodiles eat?
146
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,945
Everything!
They eat everything!
147
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,449
And fear is
their bacon bits.
148
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,581
I don't understand
what you're saying.
149
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,375
Damn it! Look, I think
Malory is genuinely
150
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,206
going through a really
hard time right now,
151
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,291
so I think we should do
something nice for her.
152
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,297
I don't understand
what you're...
153
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,345
God damn it!
I'm with you, Lana.
154
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,381
It freaked me out
seeing her cry like that.
155
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,050
It was like
seeing my dad cry.
156
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,886
Crying because...
157
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,722
Name it,
he's a gigantic pussy.
158
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,895
Oh, my God,
when my mom died?
159
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,147
Hey,
and speaking of pussies...
160
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,819
A Long Island Iced Tea?
161
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,896
I'm not even supposed
to drink regular iced tea.
162
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,906
Yeah, this is
a Long Island.
163
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,325
Yeah, stupid.
164
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,947
Your words.
165
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,661
Shut up, and okay,
166
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,159
so what would cheer Malory
up, what does she like?
167
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,582
Archer and money
and liquor.
168
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,741
Besides that.
169
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,826
Some different liquor.
170
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,502
You know what
always cheers me up...
171
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,999
We're not
giving her cocaine.
172
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,296
I was gonna say cock.
173
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,090
Yeah... Ow!
174
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:20,799
You done?
175
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,422
I am. Thank you.
176
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,005
Ass. And, Pam,
that's not a bad idea.
177
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:29,343
Hmm. I dunno if I'd be comfortable with
that. I mean, even for me, it's...
178
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,053
Lemme stop you,
before you say
179
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,770
what it is you think
I'm talking about.
180
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,186
Gettin' shitty drunk on two
different kinds of liquor,
181
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,733
dressing up
like Mr. Archer,
182
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,685
and banging the old lady
with a strap-on...
183
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,862
Ow! That's not what
I had in mind.
184
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:44,191
Okay, good, 'cause the dressing
up like Mr. Archer part
185
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,947
makes it kinda weird.
I...
186
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,404
I'd have to be super
drunk, like so drunk
187
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,703
I bet I wouldn't
even enjoy...
188
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,905
Ow!
189
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,664
Okay,
so what's your plan?
190
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:58,209
Well, eventually we have
to come to a village or whatever
191
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,165
and maybe we can barter
with them for a ride, or...
192
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,875
Barter with what, Cyril?
193
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,052
I dunno,
maybe the gun, or...
194
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,300
Yes! Great idea,
yes, Cyril,
195
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,758
let's give an M-16 to
a bunch of wild Indians!
196
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:10,888
Whoa! Hey!
197
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:11,968
God damn,
Huckleberry Finn!
198
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,647
What? I don't think it's racist to
assume that a previously uncontacted
199
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,646
tribe of indigenous peoples
might react unpredictably,
200
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:22,146
perhaps even wildly,
to a bunch of white guys
201
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,072
who walk up and hand 'em
a goddamn M-16!
202
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,993
Okay, I didn't
know in your scenario
203
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,241
the indigenous people
were uncontacted...
204
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,663
Totally different scenario.
205
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,160
In which...
No, you obviously wouldn't
206
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,582
just want to
hand them an M-16.
207
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,785
'Cause they'd
be like "What?"
208
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,000
Or whatever their
word for that is.
209
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,172
What?
210
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:42,583
A spa day!
211
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:43,632
What?
212
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,710
No, I can't
go out like this...
213
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,388
No, no, no, that's the
best part, it's here!
214
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,966
Then it's not a spa day,
it's just a bath!
215
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,346
I want to go
back to sleep!
216
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,310
Well, after this
you'll be so relaxed...
217
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,762
I took three Valium!
218
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,189
If I get any more relaxed
I will literally die!
219
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,021
Okay, well,
that's also good,
220
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,355
because you may not actually find
this to be all that relaxing.
221
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,529
What the...
222
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,820
Why are they
dressed like that?
223
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,950
That was
the only way they'd do it.
224
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,152
Strip!
225
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,704
Yay!
226
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,910
Wait, what?
227
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,035
Crocodylus acutus!
And maybe even...
228
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,041
Are we in the
Orinoco drainage basin?
229
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,292
How should I know?
230
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,965
Okay, so maybe Crocodylus
intermedius is in play.
231
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,213
Not to mention
four kinds of caiman,
232
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,341
including the black caiman,
which can grow up to 22 feet!
233
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,639
Is that why you're up
on those goddamn cans?
234
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,217
Yeah, if a big bull croc
slithers up on the raft,
235
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,349
I'm gonna pour a ring of gas
around me and set it on fire.
236
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,223
Why? Cyril, they can't
chomp through fire.
237
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,067
Although I have no
reason to think that.
238
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,902
Why are you so
scared of crocodiles?
239
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,022
I dunno, Cyril,
maybe deep down
240
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,116
I'm afraid of
any apex predator
241
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,486
that lived through the
K-T extinction... Uh...
242
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,992
Physically unchanged
for 100,000,000 years,
243
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,119
because it's the
perfect killing machine.
244
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,916
A half-ton of
cold-blooded fury,
245
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,960
with a bite force
of 20,000 Newtons
246
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:04,581
and stomach acid so strong it
can dissolve bones and hoof.
247
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,086
And now we're surrounded,
248
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,009
those snake-eyes
are watching
249
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,969
from the shadows,
waiting for the night...
250
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,512
Waiting for the night!
251
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,965
Damn it, Ray!
252
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,173
Keep your voice down.
253
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,259
Why? Crocodiles
don't have ears.
254
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,470
They absolutely
have ears, shithead.
255
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,015
Well, so do I, and you just
talked yourself out of a hat.
256
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,186
Jeezy Petes!
257
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,863
Way to go, Ray.
Now he's got a taste for...
258
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,234
Shoot it. Shoot it!
259
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,409
I can't!
260
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,578
Sweet Jesus, God,
then at least
261
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,122
shoot out my eyes
so I don't have to see!
262
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:40,663
Oh, my God!
263
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,251
What is happening!
264
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,556
Huh.
265
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:59,262
I thought that was gonna be
way more epic-firebally.
266
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,143
Come on, Cyril,
pick one.
267
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,441
Either have a stroke
or spit it out.
268
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:08,816
Were you gonna say
"a taste for human flesh"?
269
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,863
No, I was gonna say "hat."
270
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:14,239
But now it's not funny.
Well, not as funny.
271
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,661
It's all your fault,
it's all your fault.
272
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:17,737
Which part, Ray?
273
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,697
The part where I flipped
our jeep down a cliff
274
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,158
about 90 goddamn times
275
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,039
because I got drunk
to cope with the fact
276
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,290
I was about to
murder us in the jungle?
277
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:29,336
It's your fault we're in this
stupid jungle in the first place!
278
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,759
Well, if we're gonna go back
to the beginning of time,
279
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,178
Mother's the one who got
us arrested for treason
280
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,507
and then bought a ton
of goddamn cocaine.
281
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,429
I thought you bought it.
282
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,968
Wait, what?
283
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,645
Up! Up! Hands off
the goods, mister!
284
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,721
Aw!
285
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,273
I said that's ridiculous,
286
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,976
where would I get
2,000 pounds of cocaine?
287
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,189
But if you didn't...
288
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,647
Okay, so where would
Archer get that much coke?
289
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,360
Who knows with him?
290
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,817
Maybe wherever he got
that new kind of V.D.
291
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,698
none of the doctors
had ever seen before...
292
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,282
When was that?
293
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,285
Yeah, when was that?
Seriously, was...
294
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,287
Trust me, if you
had it you'd know.
295
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,119
I loathe knowing
that I had sex
296
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,795
with the same person
as you two.
297
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,581
You had sex with me!
298
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:12,258
No, I...
Oh, my God, that's right.
299
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,135
Ha!
What're you laughing at?
300
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,132
Oh, my God,
that's right.
301
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,389
So if you dicks
want to blame somebody
302
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,387
for our current
predicament, blame...
303
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:25,313
You! I blame you!
Archer! I blame you!
304
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,686
J 'accuse!
305
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,814
What was that, Ray?
306
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,410
Sorry, I genuinely
couldn't hear you!
307
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,919
Jesus, what is wrong
with you two?
308
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:52,337
"What's wrong"? What's wrong
is we're about to be on fire!
309
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,667
Do something!
310
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,008
Uh,no?
311
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,176
What?
Archer!
312
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,424
Not until you apologize.
313
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,595
For what?
314
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,673
Ray, God damn it,
just apologize!
315
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,101
I... Jesus Christ,
I'm sorry!
316
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:06,100
There, was that
so hard? Okay.
317
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,056
What the hell
are you...
318
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,733
Crocodile repellent!
319
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,486
What?
We gotta swim for it!
320
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,359
On three.
No, no, no.
321
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,949
Archer!
Sorry, three.
322
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,784
Kick, Cyril, kick!
323
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,578
It's okay, stupid,
I forgive you.
324
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,374
Forgive, yes.
325
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,168
Cannonball!
326
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,369
Whoo!
327
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,214
Oh, God, I think
I swallowed a leech...
328
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,970
Well, the gas
oughta kill that.
329
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,427
You asshole,
you could've killed us.
330
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,183
Well?
331
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,351
Well, you did set
the raft on fire.
332
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,899
Oh, my God,
you always take his side!
333
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:55,319
I never, ever,
ever take his side!
334
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,487
Blah, blah, blah.
335
00:14:56,562 --> 00:15:00,157
Some joke about you two having
vaginas, come on, let's go.
336
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,359
Go where?
337
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,536
Well, long-term
I was thinking home,
338
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,705
short-term, I...
Here, hold this.
339
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,074
Go Herd.
340
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,788
Short-term,
somewhere that's not
341
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,120
the crocodile version of a drive-thru.
342
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:14,671
Sounds good, here we go!
343
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,749
Uh-uh-uh.
I got it.
344
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,005
Cyril.
345
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,551
What if I need a gun?
346
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:20,966
Urn...
347
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,214
Here!
Oh, come on.
348
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,050
The only limit is
your imagination.
349
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:35,606
Aw! Look, she's
almost not terrifying.
350
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,904
Thanks, you guys.
I think the spa day
351
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,738
took her mind off
Archer being missing,
352
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,407
even if it
almost got weird.
353
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,699
She made it weird.
354
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,822
No, you did.
355
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,118
Nobody wants an enema.
356
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,912
Some people...
Not with yogurt.
357
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:50,117
So, you think
those guys are okay?
358
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,748
I don't know. I mean, if it
were anybody else I'd say no,
359
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:56,582
but this is Archer we're talking
about, so probably not.
360
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,383
Oh, for...
Can you not give it a rest?
361
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,177
Not until he admits
he's been half-assing
362
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,880
this entire cocaine
debacle from the get-go.
363
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,512
That's only because I thought
it was gonna be way easier.
364
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,935
You think everything's
gonna be easy.
365
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,478
It almost always is.
366
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,647
Aha! See,
that's what I resent.
367
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,019
What do you resent, Ray,
368
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,476
my muscly shoulders poking
into your tum-tum?
369
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:19,403
I resent how you never take
anything seriously,
370
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,028
because you just assume everything's
gonna work out for you.
371
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,322
It almost always does.
Case in point.
372
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,698
What the..
373
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:28,738
God damn it.
374
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,950
Do you think those guys
are Doctors Without Borders?
375
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:36,337
Yes, Cyril, I do. I bet those
assault rifles shoot polio vaccine.
376
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,001
They're narcos, dummy!
377
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,999
And that plane's probably
loaded with coke.
378
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,254
Okay, here's the plan.
379
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,756
What? Are you crazy?
380
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:43,836
You're outta your mind!
381
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,297
We have to get
out of the country!
382
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,598
So we can either
walk out, which no,
383
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,846
no, we can't,
or we can fly out
384
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,020
in an airplane
full of cocaine!
385
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,392
Ray is paralyzed,
who's gonna fly it?
386
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:57,772
Don't... Why would you worry
about that before you need to?
387
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,897
What?
388
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,820
Why clog your brain with a bunch of
hypothetical maybe-what-if bullshit?
389
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,282
Because... Shut up! This
is what we're doing!
390
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:07,156
So, Cyril,
lock and load that stick.
391
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,585
Manos arriba!
392
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,592
Nice.
393
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,469
You wanna...
Oh, right.
394
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,598
Manos...
395
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,145
Urn...
396
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,225
Wait, what was it?
397
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:42,232
Arriba!
God damn it! Manos arriba!
398
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:45,068
I don't think so, gringo.
399
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,987
Drop your weapons!
I'm serious,
400
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,992
I will shoot this guy right in the...
401
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,949
What the hell is that?
402
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,705
Suppressing fire!
403
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,008
Okay, Okay. Ow!
404
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,839
God damn it, Cyril!
405
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,219
Whoo!
406
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,721
Oh, geez. Oh, geez. Oh, geez.
407
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,892
Sorry.
408
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,845
That's why I
wanted you to be stick.
409
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,100
Ah-ah!
410
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,690
Yeah, come on,
it's been a long day.
411
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,693
Do you have
any idea who we are?
412
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,738
Nope. Do you
know who we are?
413
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:27,361
No.
414
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,697
Then blow me.
415
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,991
Cyril, make sure
it's good and tight.
416
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,120
Why are we not
still doing "phrasing"?
417
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,667
Why are we still
not worrying about
418
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,165
who's gonna fly
the damn plane?
419
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,545
Oh. Right.
420
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,928
You are kidding!
421
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,256
Okay, Ray, ballpark,
how long will it take you
422
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,966
to teach me
how to fly a plane?
423
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,096
How long?
424
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,308
I flew the
space shuttle...
425
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:58,558
Cyril, hush, big guys.
Ray, how long...
426
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,732
How long will it
take you, Archer,
427
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,650
to admit you dick around
every time we're in danger
428
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:07,026
just to screw with everybody,
because of your complete...
429
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:10,404
No, your utter contempt
for your own mortality!
430
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,620
I mean, yeah! Duh.
431
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,413
All I wanted.
432
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,495
What. You could
walk this whole time?
433
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,088
No, Cyril,
of course I'm not mad...
434
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,003
I think what Ray
did was awesome.
435
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,430
Okay. Well, then
you are an idiot.
436
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,848
Your words.
437
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,675
Which, I guess, so am I,
438
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,351
since I just realized
we can't land anywhere
439
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:38,473
with all this
cocaine on board.
440
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,270
Oh, my God, you guys,
where are we gonna land?
441
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,941
Jesus Christ, woman, calm down!
We've got five hours of fuel,
442
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,144
we'll worry about that
when we have to!
443
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,945
Guess I'm rubbing off
on you, Ray.
444
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,316
God damn it!
445
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,447
What?
What?
446
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,241
Why are we
not doing "phrasing"?
447
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,744
Now I'm coming
448
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,741
Now I'm coming
449
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:06,958
Now I'm coming
Coming home to you
450
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,134
Now I'm coming
451
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,003
Now I'm coming
452
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:19,053
Now I'm coming home to you
453
00:20:20,305 --> 00:20:26,845
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