1 00:00:13,386 --> 00:00:15,954 Ow. Khao lard gaeng. 2 00:00:16,022 --> 00:00:17,005 Sawat Dee? 3 00:00:17,146 --> 00:00:18,713 Well, since I can only assume 4 00:00:18,781 --> 00:00:20,382 this is one of your idiot voicemails, I-- 5 00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:21,783 Mother?! 6 00:00:21,851 --> 00:00:23,418 Well, I'm not falling for it again. 7 00:00:23,486 --> 00:00:25,553 Oh, for-- mother, it's me, Sterling. 8 00:00:25,621 --> 00:00:27,889 Then, what is the square root of nine? 9 00:00:27,957 --> 00:00:29,090 Uh... 10 00:00:29,158 --> 00:00:30,391 negative nine? 11 00:00:30,459 --> 00:00:32,093 Sterling? 12 00:00:32,161 --> 00:00:34,696 Ha! Elaborate-- God damn it! 13 00:00:34,764 --> 00:00:37,932 I'm kidding, it's three, and also me. Ass. 14 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,280 Now, how'd the hell you find me? 15 00:00:39,335 --> 00:00:40,902 I didn't, the CIA did. 16 00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:43,037 Oh, and how are your new overlords? 17 00:00:43,105 --> 00:00:45,073 Oh for the-- they're not-- 18 00:00:45,141 --> 00:00:47,342 look, think of it as more of a merger. 19 00:00:47,409 --> 00:00:48,743 Ha! 20 00:00:48,811 --> 00:00:51,913 Organizations change. They evolve. They grow. 21 00:00:51,981 --> 00:00:53,114 Unlike some people I know. 22 00:00:53,182 --> 00:00:54,315 Hey, you know what? 23 00:00:54,383 --> 00:00:55,784 To wit, once again you're off 24 00:00:55,851 --> 00:00:58,787 on one of your usual self-pitying benders. 25 00:00:58,854 --> 00:01:00,388 It's not a usual one, mother. 26 00:01:00,456 --> 00:01:02,123 In case you forget, I was forced into 27 00:01:02,191 --> 00:01:04,092 becoming a parent against my will. 28 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,960 Join the club. 29 00:01:06,028 --> 00:01:08,196 But for God's sake, six weeks is long enough. 30 00:01:09,365 --> 00:01:11,132 Really? It's been six weeks? 31 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,680 Yes, so sober up and get a bunch of penicillin shots, because-- 32 00:01:13,736 --> 00:01:15,537 Is that him? Is that Lana? 33 00:01:15,604 --> 00:01:17,005 Let me talk to him. Let me talk to her. 34 00:01:17,072 --> 00:01:19,207 So, why'd you run away when you were so excited 35 00:01:19,275 --> 00:01:20,836 about being a father when A.J. was born? 36 00:01:20,843 --> 00:01:22,210 Did reality set it? 37 00:01:22,278 --> 00:01:24,546 I-- wait, was that rhetorical? 38 00:01:24,613 --> 00:01:25,947 Because the next time you use 39 00:01:26,015 --> 00:01:27,882 somebody's sperm to impregnate yourself, 40 00:01:27,950 --> 00:01:29,284 then maybe that decision 41 00:01:29,351 --> 00:01:31,052 should include that other somebody. 42 00:01:33,088 --> 00:01:34,689 Who? That other somebody who runs away 43 00:01:34,757 --> 00:01:36,057 at the thought of responsibility 44 00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:37,859 and as we speak is up to his eyeballs 45 00:01:37,927 --> 00:01:40,228 in cobra whisky and ladyboy hookers? 46 00:01:40,296 --> 00:01:43,097 Oh, that is-- 47 00:01:43,165 --> 00:01:44,065 you don't know me. 48 00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:45,333 Ha! 49 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,772 I believe there was some mention 50 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,007 of the Central Intelligence Agency? 51 00:01:53,075 --> 00:01:55,176 They've given us our first freelance mission, 52 00:01:55,244 --> 00:01:56,678 and if you screw it up, 53 00:01:56,745 --> 00:01:59,113 there won't be a second one, so listen up. 54 00:01:59,181 --> 00:02:00,915 I'm listening. 55 00:02:00,983 --> 00:02:03,084 Two days ago, an American spy plane 56 00:02:03,152 --> 00:02:04,385 went down in the jungles of Borneo 57 00:02:04,453 --> 00:02:07,188 about 500 miles from you. 58 00:02:07,256 --> 00:02:10,225 The pilot ejected, but without the onboard computer. 59 00:02:10,292 --> 00:02:13,261 You're to secure it, then destroy the aircraft. 60 00:02:13,329 --> 00:02:15,630 You should be receiving a mission dossier... 61 00:02:15,698 --> 00:02:17,565 well, now. 62 00:02:17,633 --> 00:02:21,469 Wow. Read it on the way to the airport, and hurry. 63 00:02:21,537 --> 00:02:22,904 All the equipment you'll need 64 00:02:22,972 --> 00:02:24,739 is on an air America cargo plane 65 00:02:24,807 --> 00:02:26,441 that is waiting for you as we speak. 66 00:02:26,508 --> 00:02:29,077 Uh, mother, it sounded like you said, "cargo plane," 67 00:02:29,144 --> 00:02:30,478 when obviously you meant, 68 00:02:30,546 --> 00:02:33,381 "first class luxury commercial airliner." 69 00:02:33,449 --> 00:02:36,117 Sterling, a commercial airline 70 00:02:36,185 --> 00:02:37,886 won't let you parachute into the jungle 71 00:02:37,953 --> 00:02:40,755 in the middle of a communist insurgency-- A what? 72 00:02:40,823 --> 00:02:43,958 ...at night. Now, don't screw this up! 73 00:02:45,527 --> 00:02:46,628 "Screw it up." 74 00:02:46,695 --> 00:02:48,229 Yeah, like she's one to talk. 75 00:02:48,297 --> 00:02:49,464 Look how I turned out. 76 00:02:49,531 --> 00:02:51,332 Hey, freaky bigtime! 77 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,167 You owe us a hundred thousand bhat! 78 00:02:53,235 --> 00:02:55,136 Oh, right, yeah, no problem. 79 00:02:55,204 --> 00:02:57,705 Oh, and I've got an extra twenty thousand 80 00:02:57,773 --> 00:02:59,867 if you're genetic females. 81 00:03:04,013 --> 00:03:06,014 Super. 82 00:03:31,534 --> 00:03:41,861 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 83 00:03:44,389 --> 00:03:47,558 God, okay, final offer, ten thousand baht, 84 00:03:47,626 --> 00:03:49,193 some of which has blood on it. 85 00:03:49,261 --> 00:03:51,095 For the millionth and last time, 86 00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:53,498 we do not have mini-bottles! 87 00:03:53,565 --> 00:03:55,566 Well, then this isn't a real airline. 88 00:03:55,634 --> 00:03:58,669 No, it's not. It's a CIA front! 89 00:03:58,737 --> 00:04:00,037 Still, though. 90 00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:02,139 Why don't you go read the damn dossier? 91 00:04:02,207 --> 00:04:04,375 Read about the communist insurgency. 92 00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:06,210 I don't do dossiers. 93 00:04:06,278 --> 00:04:08,079 Besides, I'm not a CIA schoolgirl. 94 00:04:08,146 --> 00:04:10,481 This is a cakewalk for a real spy. 95 00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:12,483 I punch the coordinates in the GPS, 96 00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,052 get the computer, blow up the plane with C-4, 97 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,320 and, uh... 98 00:04:16,388 --> 00:04:18,456 So then do you guys pick me up, or...? 99 00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:19,724 Read the dossier. 100 00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:20,758 No. 101 00:04:20,826 --> 00:04:22,560 Suit yourself. 102 00:04:22,628 --> 00:04:23,661 Go, go, go, go, go! 103 00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:24,695 Wha-- 104 00:04:26,164 --> 00:04:28,132 Assho-- 105 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,233 Woohoo! 106 00:04:29,301 --> 00:04:32,503 Halo! 107 00:04:32,571 --> 00:04:33,905 But mini-bottles? 108 00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:35,473 That's not a bad-- 109 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,275 I'm sorry, Hank. 110 00:04:37,342 --> 00:04:39,544 I forget you were working the program. 111 00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:41,112 Inappropes. 112 00:04:41,179 --> 00:04:43,548 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh my God! 113 00:04:43,615 --> 00:04:45,816 Are you guys so frickin' excited? 114 00:04:45,884 --> 00:04:48,553 I would be, if you quit jumping around. 115 00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:50,888 Seriously, honey, come on. Baby on board. 116 00:04:50,956 --> 00:04:52,857 And if you two dopes didn't screw up 117 00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:54,959 this $10 million renovation-- 118 00:04:55,027 --> 00:04:56,994 Which, again, curious as to why 119 00:04:57,062 --> 00:04:58,342 you put Pam and Cheryl in charge. 120 00:04:58,397 --> 00:05:00,631 Because I had a very specific vision, 121 00:05:00,699 --> 00:05:03,267 and it wasn't "Japanese whorehouse." 122 00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:05,970 Well, Ms. Archer, I think you'll find 123 00:05:06,038 --> 00:05:09,273 we were very true to your vision. 124 00:05:09,341 --> 00:05:10,808 Oh, I've dreamed of this day. 125 00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:11,842 I know. 126 00:05:11,910 --> 00:05:13,844 It's... I mean... 127 00:05:13,912 --> 00:05:14,979 I don't know what to say. 128 00:05:15,047 --> 00:05:16,714 Can I even wear shoes in here? 129 00:05:16,782 --> 00:05:19,317 Oh, this is nothing. 130 00:05:19,384 --> 00:05:20,851 Wait till you see... 131 00:05:20,919 --> 00:05:22,386 Oh, my God! 132 00:05:22,454 --> 00:05:25,723 I... I think I could use a drink. 133 00:05:28,126 --> 00:05:29,694 Oh, shut up. Hey. 134 00:05:29,761 --> 00:05:31,362 Wha-- 135 00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:33,197 Psych! 136 00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:36,200 No, bring it back. 137 00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:38,936 It's exactly like it was! 138 00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:42,039 We redid everything exactly like it was before 139 00:05:42,107 --> 00:05:44,275 Jesus, God, I'm having a stroke. 140 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,243 No, the other one was just a hologram. 141 00:05:46,311 --> 00:05:48,613 What the--? 142 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:49,880 What, what? What just happened? 143 00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:51,983 Oh, man! 144 00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:53,951 The look on your dumb face. 145 00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:55,119 No, it's a stroke. 146 00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:56,387 I smell toast. 147 00:05:56,455 --> 00:05:58,456 Oh, that's probably just Milton. 148 00:05:58,523 --> 00:06:00,324 Okay, it's the one new thing. 149 00:06:01,426 --> 00:06:02,560 It makes-- 150 00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:04,095 lemme finish! 151 00:06:04,162 --> 00:06:05,463 ...toast. 152 00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:08,399 You ruined it. 153 00:06:12,404 --> 00:06:13,671 Agh, son of a-- 154 00:06:13,739 --> 00:06:16,507 God, is one last non-malarial hurrah 155 00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:18,442 before I go home too much to ask? 156 00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:20,511 Agh, thanks jungle. 157 00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:22,513 Eat a buffet of dicks. 158 00:06:22,581 --> 00:06:25,016 Okay, the plane should be just about a half click 159 00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:26,250 down this trail, and-- 160 00:06:43,735 --> 00:06:44,969 Stop! 161 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:47,471 Stop! Jesus, Kato, will you stop? 162 00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:48,973 I mean, is this a mugging, or...? 163 00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:50,174 You are American. 164 00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,976 Hey, English, good. 165 00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:53,711 Yes, I'm American. 166 00:06:53,779 --> 00:06:55,246 Then we are at war! 167 00:06:55,313 --> 00:06:58,115 We... we as in who, exactly? 168 00:06:58,183 --> 00:07:00,651 America, and the Empire of Japan. 169 00:07:00,719 --> 00:07:02,687 The-- wait a minute, do you mean, like, 170 00:07:02,754 --> 00:07:05,222 cool Honda scrambler Japan, or-- 171 00:07:05,290 --> 00:07:07,892 super uncool Pearl Harbor Japan? 172 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,160 What? 173 00:07:09,227 --> 00:07:10,394 How long have you been on this island? 174 00:07:10,462 --> 00:07:12,463 Since the tenth of May... 175 00:07:12,531 --> 00:07:13,998 1942. 176 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:15,266 Oh, boy. 177 00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,401 Uh, well, Kato-- 178 00:07:17,469 --> 00:07:18,602 Sato! 179 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:21,172 First lieutenant Sato Kentaro. 180 00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:24,175 Well Ken, I've got some bad news. 181 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:28,279 Oh, and also some worse news. 182 00:07:30,769 --> 00:07:34,372 Liar. Why would I lie about the war being over? 183 00:07:34,439 --> 00:07:36,941 Since 1945, I might add. 184 00:07:37,008 --> 00:07:38,709 To trick me into surrendering! 185 00:07:38,777 --> 00:07:40,845 Um... I do not surrender, 186 00:07:40,912 --> 00:07:43,547 nor consent to be your prisoner, 187 00:07:43,615 --> 00:07:44,782 so just kill me. 188 00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:45,950 What? No. 189 00:07:46,017 --> 00:07:48,052 Ken, will you relax 190 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,687 or is your entire generation 191 00:07:49,755 --> 00:07:51,689 physically incapable of doing that? 192 00:07:51,757 --> 00:07:53,991 How can I relax while we are at war? 193 00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:56,827 We're not! Here, shut up, look. 194 00:07:56,895 --> 00:07:59,497 Here's you guys signing the surrender on the USS Missouri. 195 00:07:59,564 --> 00:08:01,499 Here's all the VJ day parades in America. 196 00:08:01,566 --> 00:08:04,034 Here's The Bad News Bears Go to Japan. 197 00:08:04,102 --> 00:08:06,337 That's Lupus and Tanner. 198 00:08:06,405 --> 00:08:07,438 Oh, and here's a link to an episode 199 00:08:07,506 --> 00:08:09,039 of The Six Million Man 200 00:08:09,107 --> 00:08:11,375 about this exact thing we're doing right now. 201 00:08:11,443 --> 00:08:13,010 The six million who? 202 00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:15,646 Oh, God, you've got so much to catch up on. 203 00:08:15,714 --> 00:08:17,281 Okay, so there's this guy, Steve Austin, 204 00:08:17,349 --> 00:08:18,716 and he was an astronaut, 205 00:08:18,784 --> 00:08:21,051 but-- damn, wait. Okay. So, an astronaut-- 206 00:08:21,119 --> 00:08:24,054 What is this thing? This device? 207 00:08:24,122 --> 00:08:27,224 It's a telephone, kinda, that talks to outer space, 208 00:08:27,292 --> 00:08:28,993 and also-- shit! 209 00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:31,529 What? I'm supposed to go find a computer. 210 00:08:31,596 --> 00:08:32,830 Here? 211 00:08:32,898 --> 00:08:34,565 There are no building in the jungle 212 00:08:34,633 --> 00:08:36,767 big enough to hold a computer! 213 00:08:36,835 --> 00:08:38,202 No, they're really small, now. 214 00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:40,337 I think you guys actually did that. 215 00:08:40,405 --> 00:08:42,085 Anyway, I need to go get one out of a plane 216 00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:43,607 that crashed near here, so... 217 00:08:43,675 --> 00:08:46,043 Yes, I know where this airplane is. 218 00:08:46,111 --> 00:08:47,611 Duh. Me, too. 219 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,414 So, if I just kinda leave, are you gonna be cool, 220 00:08:50,482 --> 00:08:53,417 or try to sneak up on me and slit my throat? 221 00:08:54,619 --> 00:08:56,754 Well, I hope you're happy... 222 00:08:56,822 --> 00:08:59,056 because I feel like a total dick. 223 00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:00,925 And also kinda racist. 224 00:09:00,992 --> 00:09:03,194 And I resent you making me feel like that, so... 225 00:09:06,264 --> 00:09:08,132 I'm not a racist. 226 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:12,269 I just wanted it to be all white. 227 00:09:12,337 --> 00:09:14,438 Jeezy Petes, this drawer squeaks 228 00:09:14,506 --> 00:09:16,474 exactly like the old one did! 229 00:09:16,541 --> 00:09:17,775 And is this... 230 00:09:17,843 --> 00:09:19,210 Is this Brett's blood? 231 00:09:19,277 --> 00:09:21,979 Ugh, no, just the same type. 232 00:09:22,047 --> 00:09:23,981 We had to fudge it a little on the stains, 233 00:09:24,049 --> 00:09:25,783 some of which actually were fudge. 234 00:09:25,851 --> 00:09:27,852 And some of which merely resembled it. 235 00:09:29,588 --> 00:09:32,156 But why would you do this? 236 00:09:34,359 --> 00:09:36,193 Okay, it should be right up here, 237 00:09:36,261 --> 00:09:37,995 and if you try any funny stuff-- 238 00:09:38,063 --> 00:09:40,030 Please, be more quiet. 239 00:09:40,098 --> 00:09:42,700 Many enemy soldiers patrol the jungle. 240 00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:46,170 Guerillas, I think, Chinese and Malays. 241 00:09:46,238 --> 00:09:48,506 Oh, that must be the insurgency they were talking about, 242 00:09:48,573 --> 00:09:49,874 the communists. 243 00:09:49,941 --> 00:09:52,676 They are communists? So, America's allies? 244 00:09:52,744 --> 00:09:55,779 What? No. Communists hate America. 245 00:09:55,847 --> 00:09:58,549 No, American and Russian and Chinese 246 00:09:58,617 --> 00:10:00,384 are fighting together for communism. 247 00:10:00,452 --> 00:10:02,186 No, against fascism! And that was-- 248 00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:06,223 Ow! 249 00:10:06,291 --> 00:10:07,791 Ouch. 250 00:10:07,859 --> 00:10:10,127 Ya think?! Ya think ouch, do ya? 251 00:10:11,863 --> 00:10:12,963 The guerillas! 252 00:10:13,031 --> 00:10:14,665 They will kill me, let me go! 253 00:10:14,733 --> 00:10:18,068 They'll kill me! Pull me up, or I will kill you! 254 00:10:20,438 --> 00:10:22,873 At least give me the gun. 255 00:10:22,941 --> 00:10:24,308 I'll give you the bullets! 256 00:10:24,376 --> 00:10:26,710 You would rather we both die?! 257 00:10:26,778 --> 00:10:29,980 I'm honestly kind of on the fence! 258 00:10:32,717 --> 00:10:33,651 Oh, shut up. 259 00:10:33,718 --> 00:10:35,286 Hey. 260 00:10:35,353 --> 00:10:39,423 And here's your office, Ms. Archer... 261 00:10:43,128 --> 00:10:45,162 And if the rest of you will follow me, 262 00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:47,898 we've still got a lot to cover. 263 00:10:47,966 --> 00:10:50,100 But it's all just the same as it was. 264 00:10:50,168 --> 00:10:51,802 Exactly. That's the whole point. 265 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:53,137 But it almost would've been cheaper 266 00:10:53,204 --> 00:10:54,805 to build a time machine and go back 267 00:10:54,873 --> 00:10:56,774 to before the office got blown up. 268 00:10:56,841 --> 00:10:58,976 We looked into that! 269 00:10:59,044 --> 00:11:00,945 But that technology doesn't exist! 270 00:11:01,012 --> 00:11:02,313 I'll catch up, I gotta run in here real quick 271 00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,248 and grab some urinal cakes. 272 00:11:04,316 --> 00:11:06,984 Why the hell do you need urinal cakes? 273 00:11:07,052 --> 00:11:08,319 For my shower at home. 274 00:11:08,386 --> 00:11:09,520 Oh, lord. Gross. 275 00:11:18,997 --> 00:11:21,265 Ms. Archer looks like a mule kicked her in the face. 276 00:11:22,867 --> 00:11:24,034 How's the water? 277 00:11:24,102 --> 00:11:27,204 Sweet baby James, it is perfect. 278 00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:28,839 Um... uh... 279 00:11:28,907 --> 00:11:30,140 Pam. Pam. 280 00:11:30,208 --> 00:11:32,309 Yes, of course, I know you're-- 281 00:11:33,745 --> 00:11:35,679 So I gained the weight back. Sue me. 282 00:11:35,747 --> 00:11:36,814 No, I was-- 283 00:11:36,881 --> 00:11:38,282 Look, my therapist says 284 00:11:38,350 --> 00:11:40,217 everybody's got a hole that needs to be filled. 285 00:11:40,285 --> 00:11:41,785 Some people fill it with drugs, 286 00:11:41,853 --> 00:11:43,153 some fill it with work, 287 00:11:43,221 --> 00:11:44,888 some fill it with between-meal snacks 288 00:11:44,956 --> 00:11:46,724 and liquor and their therapist's cock. 289 00:11:46,791 --> 00:11:50,561 Um, I was actually looking at your pubic hair. 290 00:11:50,629 --> 00:11:52,563 Oh, yeah. It's a lightning bolt, 291 00:11:52,631 --> 00:11:54,531 but I guess the letters could use a touch-up. 292 00:11:54,599 --> 00:11:56,433 It's supposed to say "TCB." 293 00:11:56,501 --> 00:11:58,869 "Takin' care of beaveness." 294 00:11:58,937 --> 00:12:00,037 Super. 295 00:12:00,105 --> 00:12:01,438 Kampai. 296 00:12:01,506 --> 00:12:02,506 Kampai. 297 00:12:04,442 --> 00:12:06,043 Is that medicine? 298 00:12:06,111 --> 00:12:08,379 Painkillers. Mixed with candy. 299 00:12:08,446 --> 00:12:09,847 I call 'em "Mike and Vikes." 300 00:12:09,914 --> 00:12:11,348 Hm. 301 00:12:11,416 --> 00:12:13,183 I'm sorry about your foot. 302 00:12:13,251 --> 00:12:14,618 Why? It's not your-- 303 00:12:14,686 --> 00:12:17,187 Wait, you led me right into that damn tiger trap?! 304 00:12:17,255 --> 00:12:19,923 My orders were to defend this island from the enemy 305 00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:21,425 until I was relieved. 306 00:12:21,493 --> 00:12:23,994 I'm not-- America's not your enemy! 307 00:12:24,062 --> 00:12:26,163 Japan has no enemies! You're like... 308 00:12:26,231 --> 00:12:28,465 I wanna say a platypus, 309 00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:31,435 but I'm not sure if that's an accurate analogy. 310 00:12:31,503 --> 00:12:33,937 You were saying something before you fell in, 311 00:12:34,005 --> 00:12:35,439 about the communists? 312 00:12:35,507 --> 00:12:37,107 Huh? Oh, yeah. 313 00:12:37,175 --> 00:12:39,109 Like, literally the day after the war ended, 314 00:12:39,177 --> 00:12:41,412 the U.S. and Russia became mortal enemies. 315 00:12:41,479 --> 00:12:44,615 China, too. Called the Cold War. 316 00:12:44,683 --> 00:12:46,817 Then we kinda became friends again. 317 00:12:46,885 --> 00:12:48,952 So, now you are... 318 00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,521 Now... 319 00:12:50,588 --> 00:12:52,356 I'm actually not sure where we stand. 320 00:12:52,424 --> 00:12:55,059 We left it kinda weird. 321 00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:58,662 Who is we? I do not understand. 322 00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,764 So, I work with, and used to date, 323 00:13:00,832 --> 00:13:04,301 a woman named Lana, who got pregnant. 324 00:13:04,369 --> 00:13:07,471 Well yes, but you can hardly blame Sterling for being upset, 325 00:13:07,539 --> 00:13:08,505 I mean-- 326 00:13:08,573 --> 00:13:11,075 Ugh, even the ice is the same! 327 00:13:11,142 --> 00:13:12,576 That hint of bleach. 328 00:13:12,644 --> 00:13:14,445 Anyway, you didn't ask if you could use his... 329 00:13:14,512 --> 00:13:16,180 ...goop. 330 00:13:16,247 --> 00:13:18,115 What?! Malory, the whole thing about 331 00:13:18,183 --> 00:13:21,218 me using his "goop" was your idea! 332 00:13:21,286 --> 00:13:23,387 Prove it. 333 00:13:23,455 --> 00:13:25,889 So now let's talk about this name, Abbiejean. 334 00:13:25,957 --> 00:13:29,159 Don't you think she'd be better off if she were a... 335 00:13:29,227 --> 00:13:30,094 Malory? 336 00:13:30,161 --> 00:13:31,395 Thoughts? 337 00:13:31,463 --> 00:13:34,031 You do not want to know my thoughts. 338 00:13:34,099 --> 00:13:38,836 I do, Ken. I much very do. 339 00:13:38,903 --> 00:13:40,370 You're a major dickhole. 340 00:13:41,806 --> 00:13:44,408 And you're kind of a mean drunk. 341 00:13:44,476 --> 00:13:47,211 My wife, Hatsumi, and my daughter, Keiko. 342 00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:50,748 Do you know what I would give to have seen her grow up? 343 00:13:50,815 --> 00:13:53,083 Yeah, but-- And now you have the chance 344 00:13:53,151 --> 00:13:56,920 I never had, but you just throw it away. 345 00:13:56,988 --> 00:13:59,923 I mean, ya know, I'm going back, obviously, 346 00:13:59,991 --> 00:14:02,092 I'm gonna parent the shit outta that kid, 347 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,428 I just-- I just needed some... 348 00:14:04,496 --> 00:14:07,564 time or space or whatever, 349 00:14:07,632 --> 00:14:09,600 you know, to kinda... 350 00:14:12,337 --> 00:14:13,904 Dickhole. 351 00:14:18,810 --> 00:14:21,145 The March of News! 352 00:14:21,212 --> 00:14:23,680 The tide of war in the Pacific is finally changing, 353 00:14:23,748 --> 00:14:25,783 as U.S. Marines attack the Japs 354 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:28,085 on the island of Guadalcanal. 355 00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:33,071 I dunno. Some cereal. 356 00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:34,105 It's supposed-- 357 00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:35,907 supposed to be good for you. 358 00:14:35,974 --> 00:14:37,208 What's that-- what, what-- 359 00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,010 What's that?! What the--? 360 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,878 Oh. Morning, Ken. 361 00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,547 So I know this a long shot, 362 00:14:42,614 --> 00:14:46,117 but do you know how to make eggs Woodhouse? 363 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:47,385 Ken? 364 00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,686 Ken, what are you doing-- 365 00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:49,987 Victory in the Pacific! 366 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,956 Japan finally surrenders, 367 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:53,958 brought to her knees by the explosion 368 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:54,947 of two atomic bombs... 369 00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:56,227 What? No, no, no! 370 00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:57,462 No, Ken. Turn it off. 371 00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,530 The first, dropped on Hiroshima, 372 00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:01,432 and the second, on Nagasaki. 373 00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,437 I, uh, I-- 374 00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:07,438 I'm sorry. 375 00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:08,473 Why? 376 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:10,308 Why? Why are you sorry?! 377 00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:11,876 That you had to see that. 378 00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,077 That it even happened in the f-- 379 00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:17,982 Sneak attack. Typical. 380 00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,117 Aiyah! 381 00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:20,618 Hello? 382 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,286 Goddammit. 383 00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:23,788 Mother... Mother, it's-- 384 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,256 Well, listen up, Vinny voicemail. 385 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:27,125 I hope you check your messages, 386 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:29,127 because if you don't retrieve that computer 387 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:32,163 and meet the extraction team within the next two hours, 388 00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,464 you can just... 389 00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:35,433 get used to bananas! 390 00:15:37,035 --> 00:15:38,136 If you'd like to make a call... 391 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:43,007 Even the damn phone is the same. 392 00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:45,009 Everything is the same. 393 00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:46,010 Jesus! 394 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:51,182 Okay, so, Ken, we've got a situation. 395 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,550 We don't have anything. 396 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,686 You have a situation. I am going home to Japan! 397 00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:57,488 Well unless you wanna swim there-- 398 00:15:57,556 --> 00:16:00,057 which, spoiler alert, you can't, it's too far-- 399 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,325 you're gonna need my help! 400 00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:04,195 Ha! Because you also need my help. 401 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,997 Only because you just broke two of my ribs, 402 00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:09,200 in addition to impaling me on a bamboo stake, 403 00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:12,603 on which, I think we both know, you smeared some poop! 404 00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:15,606 I-- And if you did I don't wanna know! 405 00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:16,741 Because... 406 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,342 you'd have no idea what 407 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,411 you're supposed to be looking for! 408 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,146 Not that I do, necessarily, but-- 409 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,882 Will you please hurry? 410 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:27,418 Keep your raggedy bits of shirt on! 411 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,787 That looks pretty computery to me. 412 00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:31,489 So now all I have to do is-- 413 00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,225 Shit. Come. 414 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,259 We must go now. 415 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,161 Not yet. I gotta blow this thing. 416 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,730 Then blow it, and then come. 417 00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:41,999 I mean, really? 418 00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:43,835 It's like why even-- 419 00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:45,870 I'm sorry! 420 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,738 No, no, no, no, no! 421 00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:00,718 Hey, remember that time you broke some of my ribs?! 422 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:02,220 And then all the remaining ones? 423 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:03,721 It's your own fault. 424 00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:06,591 My fault-- oh, shit, I didn't blow it! 425 00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:09,760 What?! I was supposed to blow up the plane! 426 00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:11,629 No, what're you-- I'll just lie! 427 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,698 You cannot shirk your duty! 428 00:17:13,765 --> 00:17:18,035 Yes, I can! I do it all the time! Goddammit. 429 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,303 Asshole! 430 00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,950 Which way to the extraction point? 431 00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:35,019 Uh... I guess head for the beach? 432 00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,157 Well? 433 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,492 Yeah, it's nice, 434 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,194 although, I assumed there'd be a bar. 435 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:45,363 You said this was the extraction point. 436 00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,999 Uh, no, I merely implied that. 437 00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:49,700 I have no idea where it is. 438 00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:51,903 Although... 439 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,305 Ah, so you did know. 440 00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,641 No, I totally didn't. Swear to God. 441 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:59,377 Things just usually work out for me. 442 00:17:59,444 --> 00:18:01,779 Which... I kinda take for granted. 443 00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:02,980 You Archer? 444 00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,315 Duh! 445 00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,217 So, ready to go home? 446 00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:07,718 I think no. 447 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,521 I have been gone far too long. 448 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,658 My family, even if they are still alive, 449 00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:16,627 surely by now they have moved on. 450 00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:19,196 Uh-huh. It would not be fair to them, 451 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:22,099 if I were to return after so many years. 452 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,834 Yeah, return to, uh... 453 00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:27,004 Where did you and Hatsumi and Keiko used to live? 454 00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:29,307 Hm? Oh, Takamori. 455 00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:31,475 A very small town, in Nagano prefecture, but-- 456 00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:39,150 Moshi moshi. 457 00:18:39,217 --> 00:18:40,151 Hatsumi? 458 00:18:40,218 --> 00:18:43,154 Sato Hatsumi? Hai. 459 00:18:43,221 --> 00:18:45,890 Hatsumi... 460 00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,061 Kentaro-San? 461 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,662 Hatsumi. 462 00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:05,176 Hey, there's this new thing we have 463 00:19:05,243 --> 00:19:06,777 called a schedule. 464 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,182 We need a minute! 465 00:19:11,249 --> 00:19:12,750 Captain shit-nuts! 466 00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:15,052 Tell her I said hi. 467 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,088 Nope. 468 00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:20,057 No, no, huh-uh, no. 469 00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,926 You don't disappear for six weeks, 470 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,894 and then just waltz in here like you never left, 471 00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:25,396 and casually say, "Hi"! 472 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,898 First of all, Lana, I didn't waltz in here, 473 00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:30,434 not with nine broken ribs, a punctured lung, 474 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,470 severe penetration trauma to my foot, 475 00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,206 and poop-related septicemia! 476 00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:36,874 - And also crabs. - Ugh! 477 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,909 I assume from the jungle. 478 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:40,111 Oh please, if-- 479 00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:41,979 Not to mention that stupid computer, 480 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,347 which is why you're upset, 481 00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,516 I mean jealous, because I aced the mission! 482 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:46,617 What? 483 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,352 And you did blow up the plane? 484 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:50,421 The plane blew up! Yes! I don't-- 485 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:51,589 Jealous? 486 00:19:51,656 --> 00:19:52,923 Oh, shut up. 487 00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:54,158 Hey! 488 00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:55,893 I'm not jealous about the mission. 489 00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,995 I'm upset because no one knew where you were. 490 00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:01,132 And if, huge if, you're gonna be involved, 491 00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:04,101 oh my God, in any sort of parental role for Abbiejean. 492 00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:07,304 No, yeah, and I, ya know, I want to. 493 00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,707 But are we married to Abbiejean, or...? 494 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,208 Believe me, I tried. 495 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,277 Zip it, gee-baw! 496 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:15,679 No! I will not be called gee-baw. 497 00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:17,782 It's grandmother Archer or nothing! 498 00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:19,016 Then hush. 499 00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:20,384 Because we, you and I, 500 00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,386 are gonna have to establish some ground rules. 501 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,155 Lana, they're just gonna get broken. 502 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:26,957 I am now going to feed our child. 503 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,692 If you'd like to talk while I do so, 504 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:29,860 follow me. 505 00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:33,297 I would! I would love to talk, Lana. 506 00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:34,732 Just don't wanna have to listen. 507 00:20:37,969 --> 00:20:39,570 And how about this renovation, huh? 508 00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:41,005 I can't believe they pulled it off. 509 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,074 What? You knew about this?! 510 00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:44,842 Yeah, I was on the planning committee. 511 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,778 I'm not a huge fan of change. 512 00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:51,682 Except for you, Milton! 513 00:20:55,842 --> 00:21:04,021 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net