1 00:00:03,301 --> 00:00:04,662 I dunno, it just feels weird. 2 00:00:04,669 --> 00:00:06,664 That's just the altitude, dummy. 3 00:00:06,784 --> 00:00:07,679 I'm talking about the-- 4 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,875 Try popping your ears, go like this... 5 00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:12,747 Mawp, mawp, mawp, mawwwwwwp! 6 00:00:12,964 --> 00:00:15,197 Goddammit, it's not my ears! What? 7 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,934 Sorry, my ears won't pop. 8 00:00:18,002 --> 00:00:19,285 Ray, did you bring gum? No. 9 00:00:19,370 --> 00:00:21,120 Well great, trip's ruined. 10 00:00:21,205 --> 00:00:22,955 Sorry, Ray forgot to bring gum-- 11 00:00:23,041 --> 00:00:24,924 I'm talking about the fact 12 00:00:25,009 --> 00:00:27,126 that we're about to climb a Swiss goddamn frickin Alp 13 00:00:27,211 --> 00:00:29,095 to assassinate somebody! 14 00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:30,963 The target's an assassin, Lana, 15 00:00:31,049 --> 00:00:33,883 not a king, or a pope, or a-- vice-pope. 16 00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:37,887 So it's not assassination. It's just a extrajudicial killing. 17 00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:39,105 And that makes it better. 18 00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:40,940 Yes, Lana, that's why they made up 19 00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:42,225 a whole different word for it. 20 00:00:42,277 --> 00:00:44,944 And the CIA told mother the target has killed judges 21 00:00:45,029 --> 00:00:48,281 and prosecutors and bankers and generals all over the world, 22 00:00:48,366 --> 00:00:50,915 so God knows how many actual assassinations 23 00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:52,037 we'll be preventing. 24 00:00:52,157 --> 00:00:54,994 And of course your mother would do anything to impress the CIA. 25 00:00:55,114 --> 00:00:56,703 - So... - Oh my God! 26 00:00:57,175 --> 00:01:00,977 You have to try this! Hot cocoa, dark creme de cacao, 27 00:01:01,045 --> 00:01:03,279 hint of creme de menthe, and peppermint schnapps. 28 00:01:03,348 --> 00:01:05,047 I call it a Peppermint Patty. 29 00:01:05,116 --> 00:01:07,049 Here. 30 00:01:07,118 --> 00:01:09,051 Wow, that is your major loss. 31 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,319 Ooh, can I try it? No. 32 00:01:10,388 --> 00:01:12,888 How hard is it to remember gum? 33 00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:16,058 Okay, so tonight we infiltrate this swanky climbing party. 34 00:01:16,127 --> 00:01:18,894 Then tomorrow we extra-judicially kill this guy. 35 00:01:18,963 --> 00:01:19,996 Yeah, or woman. 36 00:01:20,064 --> 00:01:21,230 Wait, what? Excuse me? 37 00:01:21,299 --> 00:01:23,099 We kill whoever it is. 38 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,334 You don't know who the target is? 39 00:01:25,403 --> 00:01:28,037 I mean... Ugh, God dammit. 40 00:01:28,106 --> 00:01:30,940 And since you obviously didn't read the mission dossier-- 41 00:01:31,009 --> 00:01:34,310 For your information, Lana... I skimmed it. 42 00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:36,946 And bully for you. Give it here. 43 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,280 Ah. 44 00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:40,883 God dammit! Where the hell is it? 45 00:01:40,952 --> 00:01:42,318 I assume on the back of my toilet. 46 00:01:42,387 --> 00:01:45,021 What, Lana? Look at all the shit I had to pack. 47 00:01:45,089 --> 00:01:47,356 I don't know what people are gonna be wearing for apres-montee! 48 00:01:47,425 --> 00:01:49,959 S-- And Ray didn't bring the gum! 49 00:01:52,063 --> 00:01:53,329 Ah. 50 00:01:53,398 --> 00:01:54,781 Witch... 51 00:01:59,137 --> 00:02:03,272 Just like every car trip I ever took with mom and daddy. 52 00:02:03,341 --> 00:02:05,667 Only I'm not getting whipped with a fan belt. 53 00:02:07,575 --> 00:02:11,013 Lana, wait! I just remembered a crucial detail about the target. 54 00:02:11,082 --> 00:02:13,215 I made a mental note of it at the time. 55 00:02:13,284 --> 00:02:15,317 Oh! Oh, my... 56 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:17,953 And you must be our late reservations. 57 00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:19,922 Good to see some fellow Americans. 58 00:02:19,991 --> 00:02:22,124 I'm your guide, Crash McCarran. 59 00:02:22,193 --> 00:02:25,027 Is-- um... I thought there were three of you. 60 00:02:25,096 --> 00:02:26,962 One of us is weeping in the car. 61 00:02:27,031 --> 00:02:28,864 Oh. Uh, okay, 62 00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:31,200 well, come on in and meet the rest of the climbing party. 63 00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:33,269 That's Hans Hessler, from Germany. 64 00:02:33,337 --> 00:02:34,870 Guten Abend. 65 00:02:34,939 --> 00:02:35,905 Mario Savino, from Italy... 66 00:02:35,973 --> 00:02:37,239 Buonasera. 67 00:02:37,308 --> 00:02:40,242 And Michiko Ishikawa, from Japan. Konbanwa. 68 00:02:40,311 --> 00:02:42,912 We're just heading into the bar for some gluhwein. 69 00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:45,915 Why don't you join us when you're ready? 70 00:02:45,983 --> 00:02:48,050 Well? What's this "crucial detail" 71 00:02:48,119 --> 00:02:49,885 you remembered about the target? 72 00:02:49,954 --> 00:02:52,354 The target was from a country that in World War Two, 73 00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:55,024 was an Axis power. 74 00:02:58,229 --> 00:02:59,353 Ray forgot the gum. 75 00:03:24,556 --> 00:03:34,594 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 76 00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:39,069 So... how'd you get the name Crash? 77 00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:42,397 Oh, it's a long story... 78 00:03:42,466 --> 00:03:44,532 about me saving the lives of eight other climbers 79 00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:45,601 right after an avalanche. 80 00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:47,368 Sploosh. Sploosh. 81 00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:50,538 Sorry? Is I bet the sound an avalanche makes. 82 00:03:50,607 --> 00:03:54,375 Uh, no, it's more like a freight train full of tornadoes, 83 00:03:54,444 --> 00:03:56,478 which are in turn full of smaller freight trains. 84 00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:59,024 Which are in turn full of shit. Sorry? 85 00:03:59,144 --> 00:04:00,315 She just had a baby. 86 00:04:00,383 --> 00:04:01,483 Ya know... I didn't. 87 00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:02,684 Okay, well, we've got 88 00:04:02,753 --> 00:04:04,385 an extremely difficult climb tomorrow, guys, 89 00:04:04,454 --> 00:04:06,254 so you might wanna take it easy on the... 90 00:04:06,770 --> 00:04:11,459 C'mon, if you've climbed it... 91 00:04:11,528 --> 00:04:13,194 how hard can it be? 92 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,184 Die Totenspitz... 93 00:04:19,269 --> 00:04:22,470 For those of you who don't speak German, that means... 94 00:04:22,556 --> 00:04:26,058 Herr Hessler? Ze peak... of death. 95 00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:29,956 Fifteen thousand feet of some of the most dangerous climbing in all of Europe. 96 00:04:30,076 --> 00:04:32,617 Unstable seracs, frequent avalanches, 97 00:04:32,737 --> 00:04:34,164 and hundreds of crevasses 98 00:04:34,284 --> 00:04:37,452 that can swallow entire climbing parties in a split-second. 99 00:04:37,521 --> 00:04:39,320 One in every seven climbers 100 00:04:39,406 --> 00:04:41,656 who has dared to climb die Totenspitz 101 00:04:41,741 --> 00:04:43,575 has paid with his life. 102 00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,627 So yes, she's earned her name, alri -- 103 00:04:49,104 --> 00:04:51,466 Okay people, I want a good alpine start tomorrow, 104 00:04:51,535 --> 00:04:53,434 so pack your gear and get some sleep. 105 00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:54,898 We head out at dawn. 106 00:04:55,018 --> 00:04:56,893 And that's A.M.? 107 00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:58,573 As opposed to? 108 00:04:58,642 --> 00:04:59,840 P.M. dawn? 109 00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:02,871 Set adrift on memory bliss. Come on, buddy. 110 00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:06,414 The mountain is dangerous... 111 00:05:06,483 --> 00:05:08,616 Very dangerous... 112 00:05:08,685 --> 00:05:10,914 So you should watch your step. 113 00:05:12,489 --> 00:05:15,113 Okay, great climb, everybody! 114 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,521 Yaaaaaaay... 115 00:05:18,082 --> 00:05:22,397 So, instead of antagonizing the person responsible for our safety-- 116 00:05:22,465 --> 00:05:23,665 What, shamelessly flirt with him? 117 00:05:23,733 --> 00:05:25,533 Was it obvious? 118 00:05:25,602 --> 00:05:27,569 Maybe call Malory on the sat-phone, 119 00:05:27,637 --> 00:05:29,470 and find out who the damn target is! 120 00:05:29,539 --> 00:05:31,530 One step ahead of you! 121 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:35,577 May I please have the sat-phone? Rrrgh... 122 00:05:35,645 --> 00:05:37,378 It's mother's fault anyway, Lana, 123 00:05:37,447 --> 00:05:40,315 you're obviously the one she should've -- 124 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:41,482 What? Mother-- 125 00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:43,251 Hey, it's me, quick question -- 126 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,485 Let me guess -- 127 00:05:44,554 --> 00:05:46,521 Oh, how's A.J.? Because if the rash came back, 128 00:05:46,590 --> 00:05:48,523 what she needs to -- Shut up, please? 129 00:05:48,592 --> 00:05:51,392 Although actually yes, how is A.J.? 130 00:05:51,461 --> 00:05:52,701 That's why you called? 131 00:05:52,762 --> 00:05:54,696 Uh, no, actually I'm calling because -- 132 00:05:54,764 --> 00:05:56,531 You haven't the foggiest idea 133 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,600 what it is you're supposed to be doing. 134 00:05:58,668 --> 00:06:00,942 Ugh, I know what, mother, I just don't know-- 135 00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:02,728 Let me speak to Lana. 136 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,663 - Who? - Lana! 137 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,865 No, I meant -- Sterling, let me speak to-- 138 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,034 No! Because you're gonna tell her she's agent-in-command, 139 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,737 so that when she's not pathetically trying to make me jealous 140 00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:14,073 by hitting on this idiot beard-face sweater-model, 141 00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,075 she's gonna lord it over me and Ray, 142 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,571 who, by the way, forgot to bring gum! 143 00:06:18,691 --> 00:06:20,105 Are you finished? 144 00:06:20,225 --> 00:06:22,881 - Yes. - Good, because... 145 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,017 The voice mailbox of... 146 00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:26,581 Elaborate voicemail hoax 147 00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:27,629 is full. 148 00:06:27,749 --> 00:06:29,300 Goodbye. 149 00:06:31,795 --> 00:06:33,746 Huh. I guess you had that coming. 150 00:06:33,866 --> 00:06:36,153 Wh-? How so? Gimme that... 151 00:06:36,273 --> 00:06:38,697 And if I wanted to make you jealous-- 152 00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:39,419 What? 153 00:06:39,539 --> 00:06:40,918 Shut up. Let me talk to Malory. 154 00:06:41,038 --> 00:06:43,327 Make me, and also hang on. 155 00:06:43,447 --> 00:06:45,762 What the stupid shit are you doing? 156 00:06:45,882 --> 00:06:48,034 You said you wanted watermelon! 157 00:06:48,154 --> 00:06:50,142 Watermelon's red? 158 00:06:50,211 --> 00:06:52,351 Wh-? Yes! How do you not know that? 159 00:06:52,471 --> 00:06:55,008 Who am I, Charles Fedric Adrus? 160 00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:57,524 She didn't come in today. 161 00:06:57,644 --> 00:06:58,647 Well where is she? 162 00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:00,980 Well, I assume somewhere else. 163 00:07:01,316 --> 00:07:04,256 It's like... 164 00:07:04,376 --> 00:07:05,353 Yeah, right? 165 00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:06,351 Ya find it? 166 00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:07,423 No... 167 00:07:07,492 --> 00:07:09,259 Find what? Nothing. 168 00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:11,427 Just don't make any sudden movements. 169 00:07:11,479 --> 00:07:13,296 Bowel or otherwise. 170 00:07:13,365 --> 00:07:16,688 Wh-? Why would we make a sudden bowel movement? 171 00:07:16,808 --> 00:07:18,472 Don't worry about it. 172 00:07:20,861 --> 00:07:24,140 Rrgh! No answer at home, no answer on her cell! 173 00:07:24,209 --> 00:07:26,542 So not only do we not know who the target is, 174 00:07:26,611 --> 00:07:29,312 now your mother has absconded with my child! 175 00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:31,301 Yes, but on the plus side, there are seven of us, 176 00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:34,484 so if one out of seven climbers dies on this mountain... 177 00:07:34,552 --> 00:07:35,780 maybe we'll get lucky. 178 00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:37,601 Yeah, maybe it'll be you. 179 00:07:37,721 --> 00:07:38,713 No, not me, dummy, 180 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,324 I meant-- oh, I get it. 181 00:07:41,393 --> 00:07:43,459 I see what you did there. 182 00:07:43,528 --> 00:07:45,595 Really? 183 00:07:45,664 --> 00:07:46,585 Yes. 184 00:07:49,212 --> 00:07:52,063 C'mon, c'mon... 185 00:07:52,132 --> 00:07:53,831 Pick up, pick up, pick up-- 186 00:07:53,883 --> 00:07:55,166 Mmblello? 187 00:07:55,251 --> 00:07:57,001 Oh thank God, you're still at the office. 188 00:07:57,053 --> 00:07:58,169 I am? 189 00:07:58,254 --> 00:07:59,971 Aw, maaan... 190 00:08:00,039 --> 00:08:01,319 Pam, I need you to find-- 191 00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:03,007 Yaagh! 192 00:08:03,076 --> 00:08:05,042 Pam! What? Goddammit! 193 00:08:05,111 --> 00:08:06,978 I need you to-- Shut up! 194 00:08:07,046 --> 00:08:08,179 --And listen! I need you to check 195 00:08:08,248 --> 00:08:10,081 Malory's apartment for me. 196 00:08:10,563 --> 00:08:12,563 All right, pick it up, people! 197 00:08:12,598 --> 00:08:15,349 The weather's good now but it can change on a dime! 198 00:08:15,434 --> 00:08:17,568 Michiko, right there, that's your line. 199 00:08:17,603 --> 00:08:20,604 Now, stay on it, and work across toward the ridge. 200 00:08:20,656 --> 00:08:22,439 Hai, okay. 201 00:08:22,491 --> 00:08:24,491 Looking good guys, looking real good! 202 00:08:24,577 --> 00:08:26,443 Oh, this old thing? It's just -- Keep walking. 203 00:08:26,495 --> 00:08:27,661 Uh-huh. Yep. 204 00:08:27,746 --> 00:08:30,447 Sat-phone? Yeah, sorry, I was just-- 205 00:08:30,499 --> 00:08:33,283 Keep it handy. I'm getting a majorly weird vibe 206 00:08:33,335 --> 00:08:35,452 from um-- from one of the other climbers. 207 00:08:35,538 --> 00:08:38,589 Oh, yeah, no, just tell him you're not interested. 208 00:08:38,624 --> 00:08:40,624 No, not him, one of the others. 209 00:08:40,676 --> 00:08:42,459 Yeah what's up, what're we doing? 210 00:08:42,511 --> 00:08:45,345 Uh, besides jeopardizing the entire rope line 211 00:08:45,431 --> 00:08:46,513 by being out of position? 212 00:08:46,599 --> 00:08:48,515 Yes, obviously besides that. 213 00:08:48,601 --> 00:08:50,467 Crash has a bad feeling about one of the other climbers. 214 00:08:50,553 --> 00:08:52,469 Oh, he's harmless, just tell him-- 215 00:08:52,555 --> 00:08:54,471 Not Ray. One of the others. 216 00:08:54,523 --> 00:08:56,821 Aha. And also ah-who? 217 00:08:56,941 --> 00:08:59,226 Well, look, maybe it's nothing, but-- 218 00:08:59,311 --> 00:09:01,645 Get down! You're not my supervi--! 219 00:09:05,651 --> 00:09:07,384 Oh, no! 220 00:09:15,427 --> 00:09:17,494 Hang on! 221 00:09:19,665 --> 00:09:22,797 Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hang on! 222 00:09:22,917 --> 00:09:25,537 I got a key, ya skimpnuts. 223 00:09:27,171 --> 00:09:28,618 Oh yeah, me, too. 224 00:09:28,738 --> 00:09:31,450 Why do you have keys to her apartment? 225 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:32,625 Ron gave them to us, 226 00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:35,345 when they were doing that weird open-house thing. 227 00:09:35,414 --> 00:09:36,513 Open marriage. 228 00:09:36,582 --> 00:09:40,450 Oh. Well that explains that... 229 00:09:40,519 --> 00:09:43,587 You both had sex with hopefully Ron? 230 00:09:43,656 --> 00:09:45,255 Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. 231 00:09:45,324 --> 00:09:46,556 But I just wanna say, 232 00:09:46,625 --> 00:09:48,392 breaking into Ms. Archer's apartment 233 00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:49,726 to hopefully find a crying baby 234 00:09:49,795 --> 00:09:51,595 clinging to her dead and shriveled body 235 00:09:51,664 --> 00:09:54,264 is the best birthday present I've ever gotten. 236 00:09:55,501 --> 00:09:57,701 Except for that Formula One team. 237 00:09:57,770 --> 00:10:00,671 Dibs on snacks. 238 00:10:00,739 --> 00:10:03,507 Looks like Pam's lucky night... 239 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:08,378 because of the snacks, ya dickholes! 240 00:10:08,447 --> 00:10:10,681 Although... 241 00:10:10,749 --> 00:10:13,258 Michiko! Michikooooo! 242 00:10:13,378 --> 00:10:14,880 I can't see her! There's a ledge! 243 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,651 Hang on, I'm coming! 244 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:18,173 Do not move! Don't move! 245 00:10:18,293 --> 00:10:20,724 Everybody stay put, keep the weight spread out! 246 00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:22,693 I'm gonna clip on, abseil down on a v-thread, 247 00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:24,031 and try to reach her! 248 00:10:24,151 --> 00:10:27,564 I'm gonna blip blorp, blobba-do dob onna beep borp, 249 00:10:27,633 --> 00:10:29,700 check out mah beard! 250 00:10:29,768 --> 00:10:31,813 Little jealous? Little bit, yeah. 251 00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,751 No no no, damn it! 252 00:10:33,871 --> 00:10:36,049 Guys, be ready to pull on my command! 253 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,982 And we gotta hurry. A storm's coming! 254 00:10:38,102 --> 00:10:41,354 Um, should somebody call the Ghostbusters? 255 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,776 Okay, here goes! And pull on my command! 256 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,719 So, will your feelings be super-hurt if I bang him? 257 00:10:48,754 --> 00:10:49,936 Yes! 258 00:10:50,056 --> 00:10:51,783 No, nothing in the study. 259 00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:53,978 Krieger, how about the other guest bedroom? 260 00:10:54,098 --> 00:10:55,137 No, nothing. 261 00:10:55,257 --> 00:10:57,631 No sign of Ms. Archer or the baby... 262 00:10:57,751 --> 00:11:01,480 Pam, how about in the kitchen? Pam? 263 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,467 No, nothing. 264 00:11:03,535 --> 00:11:05,268 Wh-? You better be eating snacks! 265 00:11:05,337 --> 00:11:06,470 Ew! 266 00:11:06,538 --> 00:11:08,538 Wait, yeah, where is Carol? 267 00:11:08,607 --> 00:11:10,822 Growrrrf! 268 00:11:11,159 --> 00:11:14,452 Oh, God, somebody kill me. 269 00:11:14,572 --> 00:11:16,400 We thought you threw up. 270 00:11:17,649 --> 00:11:19,549 Ew. Ew. 271 00:11:19,618 --> 00:11:21,618 What're you-- Is that a radish? 272 00:11:21,687 --> 00:11:23,720 And literally the most fattening thing 273 00:11:23,789 --> 00:11:25,288 in the entire goddamn fridge. 274 00:11:25,408 --> 00:11:27,770 No wonder she's so frickin skinny. 275 00:11:28,618 --> 00:11:30,923 Everything else is in plastic bags. 276 00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:32,619 What was that? 277 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,631 Don't worry about it. 278 00:11:36,898 --> 00:11:38,020 Okay, ready? 279 00:11:38,146 --> 00:11:39,161 Ready! 280 00:11:39,196 --> 00:11:40,279 Pull! 281 00:11:45,426 --> 00:11:47,656 Okay, okay! Ease up, ease up... 282 00:11:47,776 --> 00:11:50,804 Was?! Wo ist Michiko?! 283 00:11:50,924 --> 00:11:52,040 She's dead. 284 00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:53,292 Gott im Himmel... Dio mio... 285 00:11:53,377 --> 00:11:56,094 The fall... must've broken her neck. 286 00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,391 Oh, my God... 287 00:11:57,511 --> 00:11:59,881 Well, now, that could be very good for us. 288 00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:01,883 Japan? Axis power? 289 00:12:01,969 --> 00:12:03,268 Okay people, listen up! 290 00:12:03,354 --> 00:12:06,154 We've got a blizzard rolling in on us right now! 291 00:12:06,223 --> 00:12:07,856 There's no time to descend! 292 00:12:07,891 --> 00:12:10,192 We've gotta bivouac right here, right now! 293 00:12:10,227 --> 00:12:11,943 C'mon, people, let's move! 294 00:12:12,029 --> 00:12:13,979 B-but, what about Michiko?! 295 00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:15,113 You mean her body. 296 00:12:15,199 --> 00:12:16,865 But-- She's dead, 297 00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,221 but we're alive! And you never let 298 00:12:18,235 --> 00:12:20,035 the dead jeopardize the entire party! 299 00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:21,286 Now, you would know that if you were 300 00:12:21,372 --> 00:12:23,579 an experienced climber like you said you were! 301 00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:24,702 You think it's Hessler? 302 00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:27,209 Axis power Germany... 303 00:12:27,244 --> 00:12:29,044 Axis power Italy... 304 00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:31,997 Then yeah, I dunno. 305 00:12:32,082 --> 00:12:33,248 Goddammit. 306 00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:34,883 Okay, listen up, people! 307 00:12:34,918 --> 00:12:36,168 Now, we've only got two bivvy tents! 308 00:12:36,253 --> 00:12:37,418 Ta-daaa! 309 00:12:37,538 --> 00:12:40,005 And two bivvy sacks! But that's okay, 310 00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,890 because it's gonna hit 70 below, 311 00:12:41,925 --> 00:12:44,059 so if we wanna live, we're gonna have to combine 312 00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:45,977 our body heat. Wait, do huh? 313 00:12:46,063 --> 00:12:47,929 So what we're gonna do is strip down naked. 314 00:12:47,981 --> 00:12:49,931 We're gonna go three to a tent, three to a bag! 315 00:12:50,017 --> 00:12:51,933 And I actually have some thoughts on that, 316 00:12:52,019 --> 00:12:53,101 who-should-go-where-wise! 317 00:12:53,153 --> 00:12:55,854 We go wiss him! Americans go zair! 318 00:12:55,939 --> 00:12:57,272 Well, now, let's just hear him out at least! 319 00:12:57,324 --> 00:12:58,857 As if... 320 00:12:58,942 --> 00:13:00,108 No, she was totally in there. 321 00:13:00,194 --> 00:13:01,827 Hurry up, dammit! Get in your tent, 322 00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:03,161 huddle up, and hang on tight! 323 00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:04,946 The wind's probably gonna hit a hundred miles -- 324 00:13:04,998 --> 00:13:06,119 Shut the goddamn door! 325 00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:07,949 What're you -- zip it up! 326 00:13:08,035 --> 00:13:11,119 I am, obviously! If you'd shut up! 327 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,646 Wh-?! Nooope! 328 00:13:14,766 --> 00:13:15,791 What? 329 00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:17,876 I am not ridin' bitch in this tent! 330 00:13:17,961 --> 00:13:19,127 You have to! It's the only way 331 00:13:19,213 --> 00:13:21,129 to keep Ray's genitals away from mine! 332 00:13:21,215 --> 00:13:22,798 Oh, as if! 333 00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:26,184 Uh-uh, no. No. Ray is the DMZ. 334 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:28,070 Goddammit... 335 00:13:28,138 --> 00:13:29,338 Oh, please, I oughta be worried 336 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,840 about your dirty old junk touching mine... 337 00:13:31,909 --> 00:13:33,909 Ray, if I ever have sex with a man, 338 00:13:33,977 --> 00:13:37,079 it'll be a man who remembers the gum. 339 00:13:37,147 --> 00:13:40,516 And, not that it matters, also black. 340 00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,179 Eat a dick, blizzard. 341 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,881 Can you see anything? 342 00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:54,982 Besides snow? 343 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,817 Yes, Archer, besides snow. 344 00:13:56,886 --> 00:13:58,152 Hang on... 345 00:13:59,856 --> 00:14:04,997 Hang on... No. 346 00:14:05,117 --> 00:14:07,094 Well, now nobody's answering their damn phones. 347 00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:08,929 I tried Cyril, Pam, Cheryl, 348 00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:10,164 now I'm even trying Krieger! 349 00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,099 Where the hell is everybody? 350 00:14:12,168 --> 00:14:13,968 ♪ Teutonic butts ♪ 351 00:14:14,037 --> 00:14:15,970 ♪ teutonic butts ♪ 352 00:14:16,039 --> 00:14:17,805 ♪ white on white butts ♪ 353 00:14:17,874 --> 00:14:19,240 ♪ white on white butts ♪ 354 00:14:28,985 --> 00:14:30,217 Seriously, I swear to God, 355 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,920 somebody please come in here and kill me... 356 00:14:32,989 --> 00:14:35,156 I would if I had the strength, dick! 357 00:14:35,224 --> 00:14:37,858 What'd I do? You poisoned us! 358 00:14:37,927 --> 00:14:41,095 With that stupid ceviche nobody asked you to bring! 359 00:14:41,164 --> 00:14:42,897 You asked me to bring it! 360 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,033 I didn't know what ceviche was! 361 00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,968 Uh, hey guys? 362 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:49,770 What do you want? What is it? 363 00:14:49,839 --> 00:14:52,073 I don't think it was the ceviche... 364 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,908 Huh. 365 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:54,909 What, can you see something? 366 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,110 Uh... yeah. 367 00:14:56,179 --> 00:14:57,912 Well? You wanna share it 368 00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,980 with the rest of the-- Jesus Christ! 369 00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:02,129 That's Hessler and Savino... 370 00:15:02,185 --> 00:15:04,885 Who I think just did our job for us, 371 00:15:04,954 --> 00:15:06,821 because we are out of Axis powers. 372 00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:07,988 Mornin', gang! 373 00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:09,857 Who's ready for a piping hot cup 374 00:15:09,926 --> 00:15:11,025 of fair-trade practices? 375 00:15:11,094 --> 00:15:12,093 What the hell happened to them? 376 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,861 Hypothermia. 377 00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:16,095 No shit, they're naked in the snow! 378 00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,027 It's called paradoxical undressing. 379 00:15:18,147 --> 00:15:20,244 You see it sometimes with severe hypothermia. 380 00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:22,439 The poor bastards rip off all their clothes 381 00:15:22,559 --> 00:15:23,920 and run out into the snow. 382 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,272 With belts on their necks? 383 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,174 What's that? 384 00:15:27,243 --> 00:15:30,911 Oh. Yeah, man, that hypothermia... 385 00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:32,980 make ya do some pretty crazy shit. 386 00:15:33,049 --> 00:15:35,015 But-- Irish bastard! 387 00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,217 What? What's that? 388 00:15:36,285 --> 00:15:39,153 McCarran! That's an Irish name! 389 00:15:39,222 --> 00:15:42,890 Uh, yeah, Scotch-Irish, but I'm actually Canadian -- 390 00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:45,226 Save the blarney for the Colleens, Paddy! 391 00:15:45,294 --> 00:15:46,894 What? Archer, what're you -- 392 00:15:46,963 --> 00:15:48,229 He's the target! What? 393 00:15:48,297 --> 00:15:50,931 I just remembered, from the dossier! 394 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,868 Patrick McCarran, mountain climbing enthusiast, 395 00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:55,102 slash assassin! 396 00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:57,071 Okay, first of all... 397 00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:58,072 Lana! Lana! 398 00:15:58,141 --> 00:15:59,807 Yeah, that's true. 399 00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:02,810 Although I prefer the term "cleaner" to "assassin." 400 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:03,944 Well that's just smart branding. 401 00:16:04,013 --> 00:16:05,846 And I'm actually Canadian, not Irish. 402 00:16:05,915 --> 00:16:07,081 As is that. 403 00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:09,049 Those jagoffs and the Japanese broad 404 00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:10,951 were from Interpol. They've been on me for months, 405 00:16:11,020 --> 00:16:13,254 but obviously didn't know I was on to them. 406 00:16:13,322 --> 00:16:15,089 I sent her down into that crevasse, 407 00:16:15,158 --> 00:16:17,191 then went down in there and broke her neck for her. 408 00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,927 Those two, well that's kinda self-explanatory. 409 00:16:19,996 --> 00:16:21,061 They died in your arms... 410 00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:22,637 Hang on-- Lana, hush. 411 00:16:22,757 --> 00:16:23,964 Yeah, shut up. 412 00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:26,967 I thought you three were just some idiot wannabe tourists, 413 00:16:27,036 --> 00:16:29,236 but now... can I assume you're CIA? 414 00:16:29,305 --> 00:16:32,006 No! You know what, Patty? Hang on! 415 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,174 Lana, I said shut up. I said shut up. 416 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,976 And I said hang the frickin shit on! 417 00:16:36,045 --> 00:16:37,178 Okay, God... 418 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,147 So where did you get Axis power! 419 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,849 Ireland? 420 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,078 Again, I'm actually Canadian. 421 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,986 And Ireland was not an Axis power! 422 00:16:46,055 --> 00:16:47,794 You sure? 423 00:16:47,914 --> 00:16:50,127 They were neutral! You asshole! 424 00:16:50,701 --> 00:16:52,226 Oh, that's right. 425 00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:54,862 Gaping asshole. 426 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,851 Because I dunno what your plan was with that gun, 427 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:57,965 but there's about four feet of new wet snow 428 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,967 on top of the ice crust, 429 00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:02,136 so if you fire that thing, I guarantee you 430 00:17:02,205 --> 00:17:03,570 it's gonna trigger an avalanche. 431 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,382 Well Paddy, if there's one thing I've learned... 432 00:17:06,502 --> 00:17:07,629 Wait, wait, Archer? 433 00:17:07,749 --> 00:17:09,210 It's that there's no guarantees 434 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,590 in this crazy world. 435 00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:11,979 No, no, no-- 436 00:17:14,917 --> 00:17:17,918 I-- that-- you-- the-- that-- 437 00:17:17,987 --> 00:17:19,987 I believe the phrase you're searching for 438 00:17:20,056 --> 00:17:23,670 is "Thank you, Archer. That was--" 439 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:25,159 What's that sound? What was that? 440 00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:28,195 It's an avalanche! You... you... 441 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:32,199 And I believe the phrase you're searching for is... 442 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,746 Holy shit, is that really an-- 443 00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:39,583 Avalanche! Whoo-hoo! 444 00:18:02,277 --> 00:18:05,232 And exactly what are you doing with those bags? 445 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,234 I don't live on the sidewalk, you mope. 446 00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,034 Take them upstairs. 447 00:18:09,493 --> 00:18:11,005 Where the hell is A.J.? 448 00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:12,139 With me, she's fine. 449 00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:14,008 I was having my apartment bug-bombed, 450 00:18:14,076 --> 00:18:15,242 so I took her to the Plaza. 451 00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:17,111 I'll call you back. 452 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,115 And what fresh hell is this? 453 00:18:21,150 --> 00:18:23,250 Can you believe that shit? 454 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:26,408 Absconds with my child and she'll call me back? 455 00:18:26,528 --> 00:18:29,406 No, seriously, I mean can you believe that shit? 456 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,589 Can you believe this other shit? 457 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:36,948 Peppermint patties! Still warm! 458 00:18:37,796 --> 00:18:40,100 Plenty more where that came fr-- 459 00:18:40,169 --> 00:18:43,137 How could you possibly be that excited 460 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,205 to be in a frickin avalanche? 461 00:18:45,274 --> 00:18:47,875 I have kind of a weird bucket list. 462 00:18:47,944 --> 00:18:49,777 Number three, bang Joe Frazier. 463 00:18:49,845 --> 00:18:51,979 Really regret sharing that with you... 464 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,949 So, you think Crash is dead, or...? 465 00:18:55,017 --> 00:18:56,917 I mean, he'd have to be, right? 466 00:18:56,986 --> 00:19:00,921 And either way... I say we say he's dead. 467 00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,193 Yeah, right? Seems like a win-win. 468 00:19:06,262 --> 00:19:08,228 Unless you're him... 469 00:19:08,297 --> 00:19:09,897 or the other three. 470 00:19:09,966 --> 00:19:11,932 But seriously, how in the hell 471 00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:14,201 did you think Ireland was an Axis power? 472 00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:17,137 Oh, my God, I think this whole time 473 00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:19,172 I was actually thinking of Romania... 474 00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:22,042 but only as an inevitable consequence 475 00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:23,978 of the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact 476 00:19:24,046 --> 00:19:26,113 and the Soviet invasion of Bessarabia. 477 00:19:26,721 --> 00:19:32,421 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net