1
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,545
What's wrong?
2
00:01:16,713 --> 00:01:17,812
My-my-my-my--
3
00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:20,482
Pam. Pam!
4
00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:21,549
My-my-my-my--
sis-sis-sis-sis--
5
00:01:21,618 --> 00:01:24,619
Hold this.
6
00:01:24,688 --> 00:01:26,721
Ow! God dammit, dude.
7
00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:28,423
Well, I'm sorry,
8
00:01:28,492 --> 00:01:31,426
but I've got other shit
to do today.
9
00:01:31,495 --> 00:01:32,660
Now, what the hell
is wrong with you?
10
00:01:32,729 --> 00:01:35,630
My sister Edie
is getting married
11
00:01:35,699 --> 00:01:38,633
to Don Ekblad, Jr.
of all people,
12
00:01:38,702 --> 00:01:41,536
and she asked me
to be a bridesmaid.
13
00:01:41,605 --> 00:01:44,572
Um...
I should be maid of honor, dicknuts,
14
00:01:44,641 --> 00:01:47,575
but no,
guess who she asks instead?
15
00:01:47,644 --> 00:01:49,644
Uh...
Midge Olerud!
16
00:01:49,713 --> 00:01:51,813
No!
Yes.
17
00:01:51,882 --> 00:01:53,581
Midge "Hey Edie,
18
00:01:53,650 --> 00:01:55,617
"let's me and you blow
Pam's boyfriend Arn
19
00:01:55,685 --> 00:01:58,586
behind the goddamn grain
elevator" Olerud!
20
00:01:58,655 --> 00:02:00,421
You had a boyfriend named Arn?
21
00:02:00,490 --> 00:02:02,790
Well, he didn't know
I liked him, but--
22
00:02:02,859 --> 00:02:04,292
Midge and Edie did.
23
00:02:04,361 --> 00:02:06,427
Pam!
24
00:02:06,496 --> 00:02:07,595
Okay, Jesus.
25
00:02:07,664 --> 00:02:09,697
Calm down, Ike Turner.
26
00:02:09,766 --> 00:02:11,733
I don't want
to show up with a black eye.
27
00:02:11,801 --> 00:02:13,668
Not a real diverse crowd, huh?
28
00:02:13,737 --> 00:02:15,503
Eye, idiot, eye.
29
00:02:15,572 --> 00:02:16,738
Although, no.
30
00:02:16,806 --> 00:02:19,541
Not a lot of black guys
in rural Wisconsin.
31
00:02:19,609 --> 00:02:21,509
And, I don't want
to sound racist,
32
00:02:21,578 --> 00:02:22,744
but--
Power through it.
33
00:02:22,812 --> 00:02:25,380
A black guy would
be better than no date,
34
00:02:25,448 --> 00:02:26,980
which is what I'm taking now.
35
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,783
When is it?
Saturday.
36
00:02:28,852 --> 00:02:30,618
Day after tomorrow.
37
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,533
Screw it, I'll go.
38
00:02:35,653 --> 00:02:37,475
Really?
Really, really, really?
39
00:02:37,595 --> 00:02:38,882
Yeah, why not?
40
00:02:39,002 --> 00:02:40,992
Oh, man.
Wait till they see--
41
00:02:41,112 --> 00:02:45,873
Wait, that's how you ask a woman out?
Yes.
42
00:02:45,942 --> 00:02:47,909
Wait, no,
I don't need a back-story.
43
00:02:47,977 --> 00:02:50,611
Yes you do. Shut up.
You're Gordon Shumway,
44
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,947
and you own a 500-acre
dairy farm in upstate New York,
45
00:02:53,016 --> 00:02:57,685
with 600 Holsteins and two
Herringbone milking parlors.
46
00:02:57,754 --> 00:02:59,787
Okay, A, that's Alf's name,
47
00:02:59,856 --> 00:03:01,221
and two, what's more impressive,
48
00:03:01,341 --> 00:03:02,890
a pathetic cheese farmer
49
00:03:02,959 --> 00:03:04,892
or the world's greatest
secret agent,
50
00:03:04,961 --> 00:03:08,896
A.K.A., me, Sterling Archer.
Oh, yeah.
51
00:03:08,965 --> 00:03:12,567
Attention, now boarding flight 934,
52
00:03:12,635 --> 00:03:13,901
to Green Bay, Wisconsin.
53
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:15,248
Come on, Archer, that's us.
54
00:03:15,368 --> 00:03:18,000
Flight 934,
to Greenbay, Wisconsin.
55
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,741
Yeah, you're booked
through to New York.
56
00:03:19,809 --> 00:03:20,775
Will you be needing
anything else?
57
00:03:20,844 --> 00:03:22,043
Huh?
58
00:03:22,112 --> 00:03:24,912
Oh, is there a place
that sells down jackets
59
00:03:24,981 --> 00:03:26,581
and thermal underwear?
60
00:03:27,784 --> 00:03:29,951
I'm, uh, what do you call it?
61
00:03:30,019 --> 00:03:31,786
Coldblooded.
62
00:03:57,496 --> 00:04:08,277
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
63
00:04:08,807 --> 00:04:13,438
Archer? Archer? Archer?
64
00:04:13,766 --> 00:04:15,450
Have you seen Archer?
65
00:04:15,715 --> 00:04:17,044
Did you look in here?
66
00:04:17,164 --> 00:04:19,164
I--
that is what I'm doing now.
67
00:04:19,232 --> 00:04:20,265
Then, I guess
go look everywhere else.
68
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:21,599
You know...
69
00:04:21,668 --> 00:04:23,708
Starting with Dick-cheese, Wisconsin.
70
00:04:25,262 --> 00:04:26,228
Excuse me?
71
00:04:26,297 --> 00:04:27,462
Him and--
He and...
72
00:04:27,531 --> 00:04:30,065
Whomever, and...
Whoever, and...
73
00:04:31,468 --> 00:04:33,435
If you wake this child,
I will climb inside you
74
00:04:33,504 --> 00:04:35,237
with my shoes on.
75
00:04:35,306 --> 00:04:38,407
He and Pam
are at her sister's wedding.
76
00:04:38,475 --> 00:04:40,375
In Wisconsin?
77
00:04:41,445 --> 00:04:43,278
Happy?
78
00:04:43,347 --> 00:04:45,414
No, no, no,
he's got her all weekend.
79
00:04:45,482 --> 00:04:47,349
I'm going upstate
for SERE school.
80
00:04:47,418 --> 00:04:49,151
So take her with you.
81
00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:50,419
To survival school?
82
00:04:50,487 --> 00:04:52,421
Big whoop,
hang her in a bear bag.
83
00:04:52,489 --> 00:04:56,191
So... Mallory...
84
00:04:56,260 --> 00:04:58,126
Nope. Ron and I are going
85
00:04:58,195 --> 00:04:59,461
to our house in the Hamptons,
86
00:04:59,530 --> 00:05:03,098
and, trust me, it would
be no place for a baby.
87
00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:05,200
You're back together?
Like, for real?
88
00:05:05,269 --> 00:05:08,270
And happier
and stronger than ever.
89
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,240
Try not to burn the place down.
90
00:05:12,309 --> 00:05:15,043
And you, my tweedy widdle--
91
00:05:15,112 --> 00:05:17,312
What, are your boobs
full of corn syrup?
92
00:05:17,381 --> 00:05:18,447
Excuse me?
93
00:05:18,515 --> 00:05:20,678
Feel that, she feels chubby.
94
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,217
She's a baby.
95
00:05:22,286 --> 00:05:25,087
A fat widdle baby, yes you are, yes you are.
96
00:05:25,155 --> 00:05:27,356
You're fat widdle baby.
97
00:05:27,424 --> 00:05:29,391
Fast forward
to me buying her liposuction
98
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,093
for graduation.
99
00:05:31,161 --> 00:05:33,395
I hope you do
burn this place down.
100
00:05:33,464 --> 00:05:36,164
She said not to.
101
00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:40,068
She said try not to.
102
00:05:41,205 --> 00:05:42,270
You're kidding.
103
00:05:42,339 --> 00:05:44,239
How either, in this universe,
104
00:05:44,308 --> 00:05:46,341
or any of
it's infinite parallels,
105
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,695
could I possibly embarrass you?
106
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:51,213
By dressing like a
maitre D' on a dinner cruise
107
00:05:51,281 --> 00:05:53,415
for gay Republicans?
That's a thing?
108
00:05:53,484 --> 00:05:55,150
I don't know,
but you don't want
109
00:05:55,219 --> 00:05:57,319
Edie dogging you out
in front of the entire school.
110
00:05:57,388 --> 00:05:58,987
The entire what?
111
00:05:59,056 --> 00:06:00,296
Rehearsal dinner.
Shut up.
112
00:06:00,357 --> 00:06:01,763
Come on, what happened?
113
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,729
Did she dump pig's blood
all over you at the prom?
114
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:05,930
No, not pig's blood.
115
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,632
Wait, what?
116
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,634
Hang on, did she really?
117
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,868
Oh my God, Pam...
118
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,638
You look amazing.
119
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,006
Really?
120
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,290
I mean, you know, relatively.
121
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,443
Shit-ass.
122
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,111
But you've got to pace me,
123
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,479
I'm sewn into this sumbitch.
124
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,214
So for every ounce that goes in,
125
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,518
an ounce gotta go out.
126
00:06:24,855 --> 00:06:27,038
So, diuretics?
127
00:06:27,158 --> 00:06:28,497
And watch this...
128
00:06:28,747 --> 00:06:30,231
there's a sundae bar.
129
00:06:30,530 --> 00:06:32,339
What could possibly go wrong?
130
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,460
Who the shit is that?
131
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:38,129
Is it Barry?
132
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:41,432
Does that mean Barry possibly,
literally froze his nuts off
133
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,401
in the wheel-well of a 747
134
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:46,037
so he could murder
the shit-eating Archer?
135
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,535
Yes it does, other Barry.
136
00:06:49,655 --> 00:06:51,242
Oh, yes.
137
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,478
Okay. Jesus Christ.
138
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:57,181
Uh, wow.
139
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,398
You have got to be Edie.
140
00:06:59,518 --> 00:07:02,386
Uh, I'm Archer,
uh, Pam's boyfriend.
141
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,456
Bullshit, my asshole.
142
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:08,292
Pam, hon?
Edie's here.
143
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,361
And you will be civil
and polite.
144
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,230
And you will not let
her push your--
145
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:16,067
Spamela! Get
your fat ass out here.
146
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,270
Uh, she should
be right out, she's--
147
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,379
Yikes.
148
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,249
Guess I should get in there
and break that up.
149
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,112
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
150
00:07:38,232 --> 00:07:38,998
Wait!
151
00:07:39,397 --> 00:07:40,724
Yeah, come on.
You coming?
152
00:07:40,964 --> 00:07:43,899
No, but hey, I know it's late
notice, and I really hate to ask,
153
00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:45,967
but would you mind
keeping A.J. for the--
154
00:07:46,036 --> 00:07:47,169
What?
I'm hitting door open.
155
00:07:47,237 --> 00:07:49,070
You can't see it,
but I really am.
156
00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:52,107
Oh, my God, it's just like
maximum overdrive.
157
00:07:52,176 --> 00:07:53,842
Ray!
Lana!
158
00:07:53,911 --> 00:07:55,010
On Monday let's talk about
159
00:07:55,078 --> 00:07:56,945
how scary this was for me.
160
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:01,116
God dammit!
Let me go!
161
00:08:01,185 --> 00:08:03,752
No, now just calm--
Let me go!
162
00:08:03,821 --> 00:08:05,053
Shit, she's gonna--
163
00:08:05,122 --> 00:08:06,087
Jesus Christ, woman!
164
00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:07,122
Whoo!
165
00:08:07,191 --> 00:08:08,824
God dammit!
166
00:08:08,892 --> 00:08:10,058
Happy?
167
00:08:10,127 --> 00:08:11,993
Less than I was, to be honest.
168
00:08:12,062 --> 00:08:13,795
When?
When you were chugging balls
169
00:08:13,864 --> 00:08:15,104
behind whatever gay strip joint
170
00:08:15,132 --> 00:08:16,731
she hired you at?
171
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,899
Whoa.
172
00:08:17,968 --> 00:08:19,734
Told ya, it's that jacket.
173
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,002
First of all, Pam, shut up.
174
00:08:21,071 --> 00:08:22,838
I'm not the one who chugs balls
175
00:08:22,906 --> 00:08:24,005
behind buildings,
176
00:08:24,074 --> 00:08:25,740
and even if I were,
177
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,909
they wouldn't belong
to that dude Arn.
178
00:08:30,147 --> 00:08:32,747
Oh God, you told him about Arn?
179
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:34,632
Arn didn't even
know she was alive.
180
00:08:34,752 --> 00:08:36,130
Okay, you know what?
181
00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:38,165
Besides what Arn's
balls taste like?
182
00:08:39,302 --> 00:08:43,437
I--
Ah! I am out of here.
183
00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:45,239
Pam, wait!
184
00:08:45,308 --> 00:08:47,041
Wow, and here I thought
185
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,110
she was kidding
about the pig's blood.
186
00:08:49,178 --> 00:08:52,012
No...
187
00:08:52,081 --> 00:08:55,950
It was--
it was calf's blood.
188
00:09:00,022 --> 00:09:02,356
Stupid, frickin' Edie.
189
00:09:02,425 --> 00:09:05,192
I'll show her
what Arn's balls taste like.
190
00:09:05,261 --> 00:09:07,061
Wait, what the?
191
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,062
Barry?
192
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,296
Hey...
193
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,333
You.
194
00:09:13,503 --> 00:09:15,136
Hello?
195
00:09:15,204 --> 00:09:16,170
Krieger?
196
00:09:16,239 --> 00:09:17,338
You in here?
197
00:09:17,406 --> 00:09:18,973
Hey, you!
198
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:20,207
What can I do you for?
199
00:09:20,276 --> 00:09:23,377
So, hey, um,
Archer totally flaked on me.
200
00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:25,112
Mallory and Ray are being lame,
201
00:09:25,181 --> 00:09:27,281
and Cheryl is-- Cheryl.
202
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,450
So I was wondering
if you could do me a favor.
203
00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:31,352
Yep, yep, yep, but, first,
204
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:33,954
who is this little person?
205
00:09:34,023 --> 00:09:36,991
Um, A.J., my baby,
206
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:39,226
who I've had for,
like, six months,
207
00:09:39,295 --> 00:09:40,961
who you've met.
208
00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,129
Mm-kay.
209
00:09:42,198 --> 00:09:43,998
Ooh, and who also
has a poopy diaper.
210
00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:46,133
Great Bacchus plateau,
211
00:09:46,202 --> 00:09:47,301
it works!
212
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,712
What? What does?
213
00:09:48,832 --> 00:09:51,033
The k-9000
infrasonic pulse rifle.
214
00:09:51,270 --> 00:09:52,692
What do you mean?
What does it do?
215
00:09:52,812 --> 00:09:55,835
I assume you're familiar
with the brown note?
216
00:09:55,955 --> 00:09:57,195
I am not.
217
00:09:57,446 --> 00:09:59,313
What? The brown note,
218
00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:01,048
the frequency that makes humans
219
00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:03,284
shit their pants,
or their onesie.
220
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,053
I'm pretty sure
that was a coincidence.
221
00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:08,322
That's what they said
about Tesla's death ray.
222
00:10:08,391 --> 00:10:10,357
So, this favor...
223
00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:11,646
Lana?
224
00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:13,729
Wait, Lana.
What's the favor?
225
00:10:13,849 --> 00:10:16,263
Just promise to use
your powers for good!
226
00:10:19,502 --> 00:10:20,622
No.
227
00:10:20,742 --> 00:10:22,303
Yes.
No.
228
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,305
Clean the jizz out of
your ears, jizz-ears.
229
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,494
I'm getting married tomorrow,
230
00:10:25,508 --> 00:10:27,074
so tonight
at my rehearsal dinner,
231
00:10:27,143 --> 00:10:28,409
I get all you can eat prime rib
232
00:10:28,477 --> 00:10:30,311
and bottomless vin rogue.
233
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,445
Gimme that.
Put it down.
234
00:10:31,514 --> 00:10:33,280
We are going to go find Pam,
235
00:10:33,349 --> 00:10:34,415
and then you are gonna apologize
236
00:10:34,483 --> 00:10:36,150
for hurting her feelings.
237
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,452
Why do you care?
You're just a-- wait.
238
00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:40,457
Are you really her boyfriend?
239
00:10:40,577 --> 00:10:42,523
Mm-hm.
240
00:10:42,592 --> 00:10:45,125
Oh, and a secret agent, so...
241
00:10:46,517 --> 00:10:49,463
And, not only
am I a secret agent,
242
00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:51,465
I am the world's
greatest secret agent.
243
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:52,499
Mm... hello?
244
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,401
Jesus, Archer.
245
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:56,971
You're not even the greatest
secret agent in that room.
246
00:10:57,039 --> 00:10:58,239
Actually, Barry,
247
00:10:58,307 --> 00:11:00,007
that's where you're--
Wait! Barry?
248
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,108
Hey, dummy.
249
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:02,309
How did you get--
where are you?
250
00:11:02,378 --> 00:11:03,444
How did you even
know I was here?
251
00:11:03,512 --> 00:11:05,112
Uh, I followed you.
252
00:11:05,181 --> 00:11:06,502
What do you mean,
you followed me?
253
00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:09,350
Okay, that's obviously
your abusive ex-boyfriend,
254
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:12,052
so I'm just gonna tip on out.
255
00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:14,054
I was on my way
to New York to kill you,
256
00:11:14,123 --> 00:11:16,390
when I saw you
in Chicago, idiot,
257
00:11:16,459 --> 00:11:19,026
and now you are gonna follow me.
258
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,412
That is, if you ever wanna
see your buddy--
259
00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:23,247
uh-- wait,
what was your name?
260
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:25,889
Your worst
frickin' nightmare.
261
00:11:26,009 --> 00:11:28,202
Pam?
Oh right, yeah, it's Pam.
262
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:30,287
Anyway, if you don't wanna
spend the next year
263
00:11:30,373 --> 00:11:33,374
signing for packages full
of her head and feet and shit,
264
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,409
meet me out
by the old grain elevator.
265
00:11:35,478 --> 00:11:37,419
Pam says Edie
knows where it is.
266
00:11:37,539 --> 00:11:39,213
Now, you listen to me,
Barry, you--
267
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,414
Barry!
268
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:43,517
God damn, son of a cyborg bitch!
269
00:11:43,586 --> 00:11:44,781
What, he give you anal warts?
270
00:11:44,901 --> 00:11:47,221
He kidnapped your sister,
you jerk!
271
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,222
What?
272
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,490
Who'd wanna kidnap Pam?
273
00:11:49,558 --> 00:11:51,458
I'll tell you in the car.
Come on!
274
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:52,734
Look, I know you're bitter
275
00:11:52,854 --> 00:11:54,995
'cause you people can't
get married or whatever,
276
00:11:55,064 --> 00:11:58,365
but all you care
to eat prime rib!
277
00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:01,168
Well, Edie, I was
almost half-way hoping
278
00:12:01,237 --> 00:12:02,269
it wouldn't come to this.
279
00:12:02,338 --> 00:12:03,237
Come to what--
280
00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:08,007
Hello? Lana?
281
00:12:08,943 --> 00:12:10,365
No...
282
00:12:10,485 --> 00:12:11,762
What are you still doing here?
283
00:12:11,882 --> 00:12:13,881
I thought you had Rambo sleepaway camp.
284
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,150
SERE school, and I did,
285
00:12:16,218 --> 00:12:18,118
but Archer hosed me,
and I don't have a sitter.
286
00:12:18,187 --> 00:12:20,032
Oh, well you should
have asked--
287
00:12:20,152 --> 00:12:22,022
I asked everybody, even Krieger.
288
00:12:22,091 --> 00:12:25,326
I-- wow,
so you'd ask Krieger
289
00:12:25,394 --> 00:12:27,494
to watch your baby
before you'd ask me?
290
00:12:27,563 --> 00:12:30,787
I didn't, well--
that would be weird.
291
00:12:30,907 --> 00:12:32,440
Weirder than the guy
trying to make
292
00:12:32,509 --> 00:12:33,958
some kind of ejaculation ray?
293
00:12:34,078 --> 00:12:36,889
No,
it's a pants-shitting ray.
294
00:12:37,126 --> 00:12:39,414
Okay, well, then,
that's new, but--
295
00:12:39,482 --> 00:12:40,815
Cyril, look--
How about this?
296
00:12:40,884 --> 00:12:42,483
I'll drive you both upstate,
297
00:12:42,552 --> 00:12:43,618
and get us a motel room.
298
00:12:43,687 --> 00:12:45,208
What?
299
00:12:45,328 --> 00:12:46,767
For A.J. and me.
300
00:12:46,887 --> 00:12:49,590
While you run around the woods
eating snails and beetles.
301
00:12:49,659 --> 00:12:51,659
That way if you get anxious
about being away from her,
302
00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:53,257
we're right there.
303
00:12:53,494 --> 00:12:54,928
This is weird.
304
00:12:55,048 --> 00:12:56,631
Why is this weird?
305
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,633
Because what kind
of sick bastard
306
00:12:58,702 --> 00:13:00,635
travels with duct tape and rope?
307
00:13:00,687 --> 00:13:02,387
No, we actually
made a couple of stops
308
00:13:02,472 --> 00:13:03,638
while you were knocked out.
309
00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:05,690
Had to get more
Tom for the Collins--
310
00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:07,475
Oh, and also rob a gun store.
311
00:13:07,527 --> 00:13:08,526
Wait, what?
312
00:13:08,611 --> 00:13:10,311
Well, technically, burgle.
313
00:13:10,397 --> 00:13:11,479
How long was I out?
314
00:13:11,564 --> 00:13:12,647
Mm... 20 minutes?
315
00:13:12,699 --> 00:13:13,781
Dammit!
316
00:13:13,901 --> 00:13:15,783
Yeah, that is not good for you.
317
00:13:15,819 --> 00:13:17,485
No,
turn around dick-nuts,
318
00:13:17,537 --> 00:13:19,320
I can still make
the rehearsal dinner.
319
00:13:19,406 --> 00:13:21,634
After we rescue Pam.
Now, shut up.
320
00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:24,542
Oh, and un-shut up
for a second.
321
00:13:24,627 --> 00:13:25,743
Is this the way
to the grain elevator?
322
00:13:25,829 --> 00:13:27,662
Ah... oh, yeah,
right down that road.
323
00:13:27,747 --> 00:13:29,363
Take a left.
Take a left!
324
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:33,468
Even for me,
that was pretty lucky.
325
00:13:34,637 --> 00:13:36,421
Wa-hoo!
326
00:13:36,506 --> 00:13:38,773
Rental car!
327
00:13:38,842 --> 00:13:42,794
There we go.
Looking good, Barry.
328
00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:44,717
Well, thanks, other Barry.
329
00:13:44,786 --> 00:13:46,588
Archer comes in to save her,
330
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:47,720
and boosh!
331
00:13:47,789 --> 00:13:48,988
K-k-k-kill zone!
332
00:13:49,057 --> 00:13:51,563
So you're just bug-nuts
crazy, huh?
333
00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:54,727
Crazy like a fox!
334
00:13:54,796 --> 00:13:57,130
Who's bionic!
335
00:13:57,198 --> 00:13:59,737
And, whose fiance dumped him,
336
00:13:59,857 --> 00:14:01,701
for literally
the dumbest guy in Russia?
337
00:14:01,769 --> 00:14:04,224
Who want waffle?
338
00:14:05,106 --> 00:14:08,074
I forget to make waffle.
339
00:14:08,143 --> 00:14:11,357
Oh, and just so you know,
my worst nightmare,
340
00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:12,777
which is actually recurring,
341
00:14:12,846 --> 00:14:15,479
is me and Santa Claus
getting chased through the snow
342
00:14:15,548 --> 00:14:17,849
by Lurch from the Adam's family.
343
00:14:17,917 --> 00:14:20,818
Uh, why did you tell me that?
344
00:14:20,887 --> 00:14:25,183
Exactly.
345
00:14:27,084 --> 00:14:28,920
Piece of shit rental.
346
00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:31,961
You drive like a...egg.
347
00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:35,354
I-- no, I don't,
and also, shut up
348
00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:37,323
because right now
I'm going to explain
349
00:14:37,392 --> 00:14:39,659
what cyborgs are,
and why they're a threat,
350
00:14:39,727 --> 00:14:42,395
to our entire way of life.
351
00:14:42,463 --> 00:14:45,364
I mean, not
now, obviously.
352
00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:46,599
But, someday.
353
00:14:46,651 --> 00:14:47,683
Someday soon...
354
00:14:51,356 --> 00:14:54,273
I am gonna
re-hit that.
355
00:14:54,359 --> 00:14:57,276
Huh? Hm?
356
00:14:57,328 --> 00:14:59,328
Hey, you.
357
00:14:59,414 --> 00:15:00,546
Hello.
358
00:15:00,615 --> 00:15:02,181
Wait.
359
00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:03,382
Who's laws of what's its?
360
00:15:03,451 --> 00:15:05,651
Asimov's three laws
of-- look,
361
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,620
never mind.
They don't even apply to Barry
362
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,555
because he's a frickin' cyborg.
363
00:15:09,624 --> 00:15:12,425
Archer...
364
00:15:12,493 --> 00:15:16,262
Come out and play.
365
00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:20,333
Ugh, and also
a gaping, prolapsed anus.
366
00:15:20,401 --> 00:15:21,634
So, grain elevator.
367
00:15:21,686 --> 00:15:23,436
Besides a place to blow farmers,
368
00:15:23,471 --> 00:15:24,470
what's the point?
369
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,472
To store grain, dumbass.
370
00:15:26,524 --> 00:15:29,191
Yeah, but you elevator
it way the hell up there,
371
00:15:29,277 --> 00:15:32,194
then-- wait, cows don't
go up there to eat it,
372
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,230
do they?
Oh my God, no!
373
00:15:34,315 --> 00:15:38,200
It's gravity fed back down
to trucks and trains and shit.
374
00:15:38,286 --> 00:15:39,285
Which are on the ground.
375
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,369
Yes!
376
00:15:40,455 --> 00:15:42,204
See where I'm going with this?
377
00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:45,348
Why not make it horizontal,
so the cows can just walk up
378
00:15:45,468 --> 00:15:46,339
and eat whenever?
379
00:15:46,459 --> 00:15:50,080
So just a mile long trough of grain
getting rained on all the damn time.
380
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,036
I, well, no, it'd have a, like a...
381
00:15:53,156 --> 00:15:54,533
a salad bar roof on it,
382
00:15:54,602 --> 00:15:56,602
you idiot.
383
00:15:56,671 --> 00:15:58,504
Said the dumb waiter.
384
00:15:58,573 --> 00:16:00,339
Get it, Archer?
385
00:16:00,408 --> 00:16:03,576
As in, you're dumb,
and you dress like a waiter.
386
00:16:03,645 --> 00:16:05,907
Told ya!
God dammit, Pam,
387
00:16:06,027 --> 00:16:08,497
this is exactly
what a man should wear to a--
388
00:16:09,545 --> 00:16:11,417
Holy shitsnacks!
What the-- Pam?
389
00:16:11,486 --> 00:16:14,287
Yeah, and just a heads up--
390
00:16:15,657 --> 00:16:16,589
Whoa!
391
00:16:16,658 --> 00:16:19,191
Dammit, Pam.
392
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:21,294
How about a--
Oh, wait by heads up,
393
00:16:21,362 --> 00:16:22,495
did you mean--?
394
00:16:30,605 --> 00:16:32,638
Seriously, Barry,
why all the anger?
395
00:16:32,707 --> 00:16:35,641
Because Katya broke up with me!
396
00:16:41,112 --> 00:16:42,348
Too soon?
397
00:16:45,079 --> 00:16:47,386
Edie, cut me down!
398
00:16:47,455 --> 00:16:49,588
Oh, wow, where to start?
399
00:16:49,657 --> 00:16:52,525
Even in a new dress,
you look like ten pounds of shit
400
00:16:52,593 --> 00:16:54,293
in a five pound bag.
401
00:16:54,362 --> 00:16:56,495
The whole town thinks
you're a giant asshole
402
00:16:56,564 --> 00:16:58,164
for moving to New York City.
403
00:16:58,232 --> 00:17:00,797
You can just say New York.
404
00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:04,337
Oh, and dad was right,
you'll never find a husband
405
00:17:04,405 --> 00:17:06,272
unless you convince a blind man
406
00:17:06,341 --> 00:17:07,606
you're a seeing eye pig!
407
00:17:10,445 --> 00:17:13,512
I meant cut me down from here!
408
00:17:13,581 --> 00:17:15,247
Yeah. Duh.
409
00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:18,551
But you know
you're no prize, right?
410
00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:20,286
Excuse me?
411
00:17:20,355 --> 00:17:21,287
He said--
412
00:17:30,531 --> 00:17:32,498
Archer! Do something!
413
00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:34,300
Flower box.
414
00:17:34,369 --> 00:17:35,368
Shot gun.
415
00:17:38,506 --> 00:17:39,505
Ow.
416
00:17:45,413 --> 00:17:47,346
Hey, track suit,
417
00:17:47,415 --> 00:17:50,549
if anybody's gonna choke
my sister's bitch neck,
418
00:17:50,618 --> 00:17:52,385
it's gonna be me.
419
00:17:52,453 --> 00:17:54,487
What are you doing?
420
00:17:54,555 --> 00:17:56,522
What you got a little
shot gun? Huh?
421
00:17:56,591 --> 00:17:58,357
Yeah, remember right now?
422
00:17:58,426 --> 00:18:00,526
When I'm a frickin' cyborg?
423
00:18:00,595 --> 00:18:03,244
Barry, just for you,
424
00:18:03,364 --> 00:18:05,527
I got explosive ammo.
425
00:18:05,963 --> 00:18:07,061
You what now?
426
00:18:07,181 --> 00:18:09,880
Jesus Christ, you could have killed me!
427
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,537
Shut up!
428
00:18:11,606 --> 00:18:14,766
Huh, I mean, I'm not a doctor,
429
00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,308
or, a robotisist,
430
00:18:16,377 --> 00:18:18,692
but, uh, that can't be good.
431
00:18:18,979 --> 00:18:20,340
So, hey,
why don't we all do this--
432
00:18:21,382 --> 00:18:24,250
Oh, God.
Oh!
433
00:18:24,318 --> 00:18:26,185
Forgot what I was gonna say.
434
00:18:44,555 --> 00:18:47,373
So, thank you...
435
00:18:47,442 --> 00:18:48,407
For?
436
00:18:48,476 --> 00:18:49,642
Saving your life?
437
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:52,278
I thought you were
thanking me...
438
00:18:52,346 --> 00:18:54,280
for dropping those truth bombs.
439
00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:56,382
What?
You'll never find a husband.
440
00:18:58,286 --> 00:19:01,220
So, you really think he's dead?
441
00:19:01,289 --> 00:19:03,072
Only one way to be sure.
442
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,301
Hello? I'm sorry, what?
443
00:19:15,369 --> 00:19:17,169
Shut up, no,
uh-uh. No!
444
00:19:17,238 --> 00:19:19,171
What are you saying, Don?
445
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,174
Sir, sir, over there.
446
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:23,292
Is that a man?
447
00:19:25,313 --> 00:19:27,513
Yeah, you're damn right it is.
448
00:19:31,319 --> 00:19:33,385
Hey, but slow down, though,
we're, hey--!
449
00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:37,590
Jesus Christ, Arn.
450
00:19:37,658 --> 00:19:41,143
Huh. I think I got
a blowjob out here once.
451
00:19:41,229 --> 00:19:45,397
A what? I'm sorry,
did you say a blowjob?
452
00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:49,168
What? Yes!
Of course it's off, Don!
453
00:19:53,229 --> 00:19:56,609
So, apparently,
Don over-served on vin rogue,
454
00:19:56,677 --> 00:19:59,545
and increasingly impatient
for his bride-to-be's arrival
455
00:19:59,614 --> 00:20:01,380
at the rehearsal dinner,
456
00:20:01,449 --> 00:20:04,517
let Midge Olerud suck him off
behind the sundae bar!
457
00:20:07,388 --> 00:20:08,504
Too soon?
458
00:20:08,589 --> 00:20:11,767
So thank you, Pamela,
for ruining my wedding.
459
00:20:11,887 --> 00:20:14,343
Oh, and also, my life.
460
00:20:14,428 --> 00:20:16,395
You ruined my life!
461
00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:18,463
Are you happy?
462
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:23,017
Yes. All I wanted.
463
00:20:58,110 --> 00:21:08,294
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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