1 00:00:17,176 --> 00:00:19,539 What? 2 00:00:19,801 --> 00:00:21,846 Ugh, yes I'll accept the charges. 3 00:00:23,215 --> 00:00:26,785 Goddamn, who is it? Cancer? 4 00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:29,821 I think it's Mr. Archer. Hello? 5 00:00:29,889 --> 00:00:31,956 Carol, hey, shut up. I need your help. 6 00:00:32,024 --> 00:00:35,160 And that's how you ask? Wait, Pam? Is that you? 7 00:00:35,227 --> 00:00:38,163 - Yes. - Great, shut up, because I'm talking to Carol, 8 00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:40,999 and Carol, here's the deal-- let me guess. You're all butt-hurt 9 00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:43,802 because Lana hired some Pakistani dude to shoot you, 10 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:46,738 so you went to Vegas, and now you're drunk and broke outside a casino, 11 00:00:46,806 --> 00:00:48,740 and you want me to wire a thousand dollars 12 00:00:48,808 --> 00:00:52,177 to buy you a plane ticket and a pre-flight whore. 13 00:00:52,244 --> 00:00:56,114 Okay, I'm gonna list everything you just said that's totally wrong. A... 14 00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:57,856 Not outside a casino, so... 15 00:00:57,976 --> 00:01:00,900 Okay, it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up? But-- 16 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:03,888 No. No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! C'mon, I really need your help. 17 00:01:03,956 --> 00:01:06,858 Okay, where do I send the-- 18 00:01:06,926 --> 00:01:08,793 Hang on! Make him beg! 19 00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:10,862 Pam, goddamn it, I said shut up! 20 00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:14,966 You shut up! Jesus, I'm sending you the money for your stupid plane ticket! 21 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,868 Which would be great... 22 00:01:16,936 --> 00:01:19,838 If I were not on the no-fly list. 23 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,773 How did you get on the no-fly list? 24 00:01:21,841 --> 00:01:23,007 Uh... 25 00:01:23,075 --> 00:01:25,944 Help! Get it off! 26 00:01:26,011 --> 00:01:29,047 I wanna fly the plane! 27 00:01:29,115 --> 00:01:32,016 You know, who knows? It's the government. That's not important-- 28 00:01:32,084 --> 00:01:34,919 What is important is getting me home. 29 00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:38,123 Ugh, fine, then I'll send money for a stupid train ticket. 30 00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:40,992 Which would also be great... 31 00:01:44,096 --> 00:01:46,731 I wanna fly the train! 32 00:01:46,799 --> 00:01:49,595 Wow, I had no idea there was a "no-train" list. 33 00:01:49,715 --> 00:01:51,059 Well, neither did I, 34 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:54,839 but apparently there is, and before you ask, the answer is no, Carol. 35 00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:56,373 A thousand times no. 36 00:01:56,493 --> 00:02:00,945 I will not-- I cannot ride the bus. 37 00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:03,081 Wh--? Stop! Goddamn it, I said no! 38 00:02:03,149 --> 00:02:06,751 Simone, I swear to God, I will rub 39 00:02:06,819 --> 00:02:08,686 your own remaining teeth in your eyes! 40 00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:13,658 You ain't got... 41 00:02:13,726 --> 00:02:17,762 So. I don't care what it costs me, financially or self-respectfully, 42 00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:19,998 but I need you to do me a big favor. 43 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:25,803 Oh, thank you! Thank you, God! 44 00:02:25,871 --> 00:02:29,674 Yay! Right? 45 00:02:29,742 --> 00:02:30,909 Archer, you look like shit. 46 00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,111 And-- 47 00:02:33,179 --> 00:02:34,979 And obviously thank you, too. 48 00:02:35,047 --> 00:02:38,759 Asmodeus, destroyer of men. 49 00:03:04,410 --> 00:03:14,982 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 50 00:03:18,295 --> 00:03:20,806 All I needed was an airplane! 51 00:03:20,926 --> 00:03:23,461 So why is it full of you idiots? 52 00:03:23,529 --> 00:03:25,563 I wasn't going to sit around the office all by myself! 53 00:03:25,631 --> 00:03:27,499 Because one of us needed 54 00:03:27,566 --> 00:03:30,468 some multi-engine time for his pilot's license-- 55 00:03:30,536 --> 00:03:33,538 And one of us would go pretty much anywhere to piss off your mother. 56 00:03:33,606 --> 00:03:38,676 Hello. Hello? Son of a... 57 00:03:38,744 --> 00:03:42,547 Fine! Then I'll just get my own ice! 58 00:03:42,615 --> 00:03:44,883 No. I'll drink it neat. 59 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:48,686 And me and Krieger are all about going to Branson! Booyah! 60 00:03:48,754 --> 00:03:51,554 And I assume Branson is some sort of all-one-cares-to-eat establishment? 61 00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:53,691 You're kidding, right? Say what? 62 00:03:53,759 --> 00:03:57,629 It's only the biggest country music tourist destination in the world! 63 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,465 Wait a minute, is this about Cherlene? Who? 64 00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:02,634 She has no memory of any of that. 65 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:06,638 Wait, what? You don't remember being the number one country singer in America? 66 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,740 Pfff, okay... 67 00:04:08,808 --> 00:04:11,576 Besides, Branson isn't just country music! 68 00:04:11,644 --> 00:04:13,812 There's Tony Orlando, Charo-- 69 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,581 the comedy stylings of Yakov Smirnoff! 70 00:04:16,649 --> 00:04:18,616 How do you not know about Branson? 71 00:04:18,684 --> 00:04:21,847 I guess the same reason I don't know what grits are, or... hush puppies! 72 00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,144 Are you serious? Oh, my God. 73 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,690 Hush puppies are little balls of fried cornmeal batter. 74 00:04:25,758 --> 00:04:27,759 Mm. Not really, though. 75 00:04:27,827 --> 00:04:30,395 Well, and also shoes. 76 00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:33,865 Well thank you, Cyril. I was just angry, now I'm confused and angry. 77 00:04:33,933 --> 00:04:36,801 Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. 78 00:04:36,869 --> 00:04:40,438 This is captain Ray Gillette, welcoming you aboard from the flight deck. 79 00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:42,574 Flight time to Branson is about three hours. 80 00:04:42,641 --> 00:04:44,542 No it isn't! Shut up! And in the meantime, 81 00:04:44,610 --> 00:04:46,578 if you look out the left side of the cabin-- 82 00:04:46,645 --> 00:04:51,482 you can just make out Nellis Air Force base, home to... Area 51! 83 00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:52,717 Wait, what? Seriously? 84 00:04:52,785 --> 00:04:54,886 Hey, watch it! Ow! Man, I can't see it! 85 00:04:54,954 --> 00:04:57,655 See what? What's Area 51? What's Area-- 86 00:04:57,723 --> 00:05:00,692 Are you shitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51! 87 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:04,362 Yeah, even me, and I didn't even know they made shoes out of cornbread. 88 00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:07,498 It's where the government keeps all the aliens that have crashed on earth. 89 00:05:07,566 --> 00:05:08,700 Well, allegedly, but-- 90 00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:10,638 Oh, my God. Cyril, shut up. 91 00:05:10,706 --> 00:05:13,641 Oh, so you believe the United States government 92 00:05:13,709 --> 00:05:16,777 is actually harboring extra-terrestrial life-forms 93 00:05:16,845 --> 00:05:18,746 at an air force base in the Nevada desert. 94 00:05:18,814 --> 00:05:20,481 No. Ray! 95 00:05:20,549 --> 00:05:22,483 Get in closer, I can't see jack dick! 96 00:05:22,551 --> 00:05:23,784 No, this is good. 97 00:05:23,852 --> 00:05:25,920 That airspace is all extremely restricted, so-- 98 00:05:25,988 --> 00:05:27,888 - Oh come on, you pussy! - For the love of God, man! 99 00:05:27,956 --> 00:05:29,657 Well, maybe a little closer. 100 00:05:29,725 --> 00:05:31,926 Whoa, hang on, what're you doing? 101 00:05:31,994 --> 00:05:33,961 And what are you wearing? 102 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,831 It was in the crew locker. I think it looks pretty sharp. 103 00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:38,632 - Really? - Ray, get closer! 104 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,668 - Pam, shut up! - Make her! 105 00:05:40,736 --> 00:05:43,938 - Look, Ray, I know you don't do well with peer pressure-- - Wha-a-a-aa? 106 00:05:44,006 --> 00:05:45,973 Teacup pig. Oh. Yeah. 107 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:48,776 And how big was Li'l Hamlet when you finally had to get rid of him? 108 00:05:48,844 --> 00:05:50,745 He was up there. Yeah. 109 00:05:50,812 --> 00:05:52,680 Like three hundred shit-covered pounds. 110 00:05:52,748 --> 00:05:54,989 But seriously, Ray. Don't dick around with the air force. 111 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:58,753 That's a top-secret base down there and they've got surface-to-air missiles, so-- 112 00:05:58,820 --> 00:05:59,945 Ray! Pam! 113 00:06:00,065 --> 00:06:01,217 Ray? Krieger! 114 00:06:01,337 --> 00:06:02,182 Ra-ay! 115 00:06:02,302 --> 00:06:03,891 What? God-- Damn it! 116 00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:05,559 What? That. 117 00:06:08,630 --> 00:06:10,831 Goddamn it. Everybody hang on! 118 00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:13,934 God damn it! 119 00:06:14,002 --> 00:06:15,836 I said, hang on. 120 00:06:15,904 --> 00:06:16,904 Ya know... 121 00:06:23,712 --> 00:06:25,713 Jesus Christ, Ray, do something! 122 00:06:25,781 --> 00:06:27,848 Besides fly the goddamn plane? 123 00:06:27,916 --> 00:06:30,751 Oh, you're already-- sorry, I didn't know what the deal was, if you-- 124 00:06:30,819 --> 00:06:34,622 I think I can land it! But I gotta... put it down... at Nellis! 125 00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:37,725 Where the missiles are coming from? It's either that or frickin' crash! 126 00:06:37,793 --> 00:06:40,728 Okay, sorry, just making sure there's not a third option we haven't-- 127 00:06:40,796 --> 00:06:42,530 Get out! 128 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,468 Are we gonna die? 129 00:06:49,704 --> 00:06:52,973 Not today, gorgeous, not today. 130 00:06:53,041 --> 00:06:55,643 I mean, probably today, but-- 131 00:06:55,710 --> 00:06:58,779 Krieger! Everybody! Calm down! 132 00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:00,681 Ray says he can land us at Nellis! 133 00:07:00,749 --> 00:07:02,917 You mean right at Area 51? 134 00:07:02,984 --> 00:07:05,786 Yes, Pam! Happy? 135 00:07:05,854 --> 00:07:09,134 I mean... yes? 136 00:07:12,647 --> 00:07:14,318 But who needs ice? 137 00:07:14,558 --> 00:07:16,726 It's perfectly fine without ice. 138 00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:20,596 Just ask Europe. Lana? 139 00:07:20,664 --> 00:07:21,681 No? 140 00:07:21,801 --> 00:07:25,334 Come in dear, what're you doing? Come in here. 141 00:07:25,402 --> 00:07:27,470 Hello! 142 00:07:27,537 --> 00:07:30,956 Hello dear, drink? Uh, no? 143 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,676 Well, you're not missing much. 144 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,080 No ice. Not a cube. 145 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,514 And I can't wait to hear her flimsy excuse this time. 146 00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:40,462 Get out the plane! Put your hands up! 147 00:07:40,517 --> 00:07:43,619 Get out of the plane now! Let's go, let's move! 148 00:07:45,689 --> 00:07:48,758 Wow, those guys look... furious. 149 00:07:48,825 --> 00:07:51,460 Yeah, no shit! So thank you, Ray! 150 00:07:51,528 --> 00:07:53,562 For what, safely landing the plane? 151 00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:55,941 What, like that cancels out getting it shot down in the first place? 152 00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:59,023 You were the one yapping your damn head off about my damn teacup pig! 153 00:07:59,073 --> 00:08:01,141 Who I hope to see on my next BLT! 154 00:08:01,209 --> 00:08:04,978 Well too bad, because he... went to... live on a... 155 00:08:05,046 --> 00:08:06,980 A farm! Exactly! 156 00:08:07,048 --> 00:08:09,897 So unless that farm had a magical talking spider-- 157 00:08:11,152 --> 00:08:13,954 Yeah, they don't keep 'em around for their milk. 158 00:08:14,022 --> 00:08:16,982 And I don't know that we're accomplishing as much as we could be right now. 159 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:21,128 Hmm. How about now? 160 00:08:21,195 --> 00:08:23,130 Oh my God, I bet it's nerve gas! 161 00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:26,233 Just like they sprayed on Duddy Kravitz in "Close Encounters"! 162 00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:29,236 Wait, what? It's not nerve gas, you idiots, it's-- 163 00:08:29,303 --> 00:08:31,972 You think the CIA's above nerve gas? 164 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:35,942 I-- holy shit, that's right, it's the CIA! I've got Q-clearance! 165 00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:38,145 Wait, what? What does that even mean? 166 00:08:38,212 --> 00:08:39,980 It means get naked. 167 00:08:40,048 --> 00:08:42,282 C'mon, let's go. Gun's out, buns out. 168 00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:44,418 Don't shoot! Hands up, everybody! 169 00:08:44,485 --> 00:08:46,253 We're coming out! Don't shoot! 170 00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:50,257 Do not shoot! 171 00:08:50,324 --> 00:08:52,059 Guys, it's okay, I-- 172 00:08:52,126 --> 00:08:53,260 He's got a weapon! He's got a weapon! Gun! 173 00:08:53,327 --> 00:08:55,162 Q-clearance! I've got Q-clearance! 174 00:08:55,229 --> 00:08:57,130 Seriously, is that even a real thing? 175 00:08:57,198 --> 00:08:59,594 Q-clearance? We'll see about that. 176 00:08:59,714 --> 00:09:01,234 What's your authentication phrase? 177 00:09:01,302 --> 00:09:05,972 Sweet dash forty-four, tender dash nine, hot dash juicy pork chops! 178 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,974 I didn't pick it. 179 00:09:08,042 --> 00:09:11,737 Authentication checks out, sir. Says here he's Agent Slater. 180 00:09:11,857 --> 00:09:14,014 Hmph! Well, Agent Slater! 181 00:09:14,082 --> 00:09:15,248 What? Who? Agent Slater. 182 00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:17,918 Shut up. How'd you get Slater's codeword? 183 00:09:17,985 --> 00:09:21,636 You mind telling me why in God's green dick you were in my airspace? 184 00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:24,625 Well, our airspace, for starters, right? 185 00:09:24,692 --> 00:09:27,261 Since I have CIA clearance and all. 186 00:09:27,328 --> 00:09:30,364 And not that it's any of your business, lieutenant... 187 00:09:30,432 --> 00:09:34,368 Colonel. Lieutenant Colonel, but during transport of these prisoners-- 188 00:09:34,436 --> 00:09:36,437 black site, pretty icky stuff. 189 00:09:36,504 --> 00:09:40,607 They attempted to overpower me, forcing my pilot to make an emergency landing, 190 00:09:40,675 --> 00:09:44,611 but before he could radio your tower for permission to land, boom! 191 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:46,480 And then-- well, you know the rest. 192 00:09:46,548 --> 00:09:47,815 Is this true? 193 00:09:47,882 --> 00:09:51,385 Uh-- He's Israeli! So, just Hebrew. Unless... 194 00:09:51,453 --> 00:09:52,856 Reds Yiddish? Nisht? 195 00:09:52,976 --> 00:09:54,655 So no, just Hebrew. 196 00:09:54,722 --> 00:09:56,623 Then how was he gonna radio the tower? 197 00:09:56,691 --> 00:10:01,105 Which, I mean-- yeah, exactly, and if I spoke Hebrew I would ask him. 198 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:04,465 - Well-- - R-right after I ask your wife and kids about you, 199 00:10:04,532 --> 00:10:06,700 but they don't know, they haven't seen you in a year. 200 00:10:06,768 --> 00:10:08,469 They think you ran off with a stripper, 201 00:10:08,536 --> 00:10:10,637 when in reality you are literally climbing the walls 202 00:10:10,705 --> 00:10:14,508 of a farmhouse in Virginia somewhere, out of your mind on LSD, 203 00:10:14,576 --> 00:10:18,312 compliments of the CIA and MK-Ultra. Jesus Christ... 204 00:10:18,379 --> 00:10:20,747 So while you're finding me a new airplane, Air Force guy, 205 00:10:20,815 --> 00:10:23,818 we're gonna need some sort of shuttle to... 206 00:10:23,938 --> 00:10:25,677 I assume you have an officer's club? Yep. 207 00:10:25,797 --> 00:10:30,283 Jeeps! Gimme two jeeps up here, on the double! Jeeps, goddamn it, jeeps! 208 00:10:30,657 --> 00:10:32,693 Shisn tsvey hozn mit eyn shos. 209 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,072 I'm sorry? 210 00:10:34,192 --> 00:10:35,880 You're sure you don't want a drink? 211 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,898 Yeah, in the... low nineties on that. 212 00:10:38,018 --> 00:10:42,214 Suit yourself. So. And how is our little Abbiejean? 213 00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:45,904 Oh, yeah she's good, great actually, 214 00:10:46,024 --> 00:10:47,574 and I'm really liking her nanny. 215 00:10:47,642 --> 00:10:49,075 Mm. Hispanic? 216 00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:51,396 She's actually Polish. 217 00:10:51,516 --> 00:10:53,034 Is that supposed to be better? 218 00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:54,615 What? No. They're both-- 219 00:10:54,682 --> 00:10:57,584 Abbiejean. That's from where, again? 220 00:10:57,652 --> 00:10:59,753 Again, it was my grandmother's name. 221 00:10:59,821 --> 00:11:03,281 Hmm. You know what I think would be wonderful? 222 00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:07,248 A border moat? ...Is if she had her grandmother's name. 223 00:11:07,368 --> 00:11:11,139 Well yeah, and obviously I talked to my mother of god, you mean you. 224 00:11:11,924 --> 00:11:12,910 Thoughts? 225 00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:16,218 Because they don't have my brands, I don't even recognize most of these. 226 00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:19,373 Well, maybe instead of worrying about what cocktails to make-- 227 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,709 That's what I'm saying, Cyril. I don't even know if I can make cocktails! 228 00:11:22,777 --> 00:11:25,746 What the hell's the air force spending all those kajillions of dollars on? 229 00:11:25,813 --> 00:11:28,549 O'Dublin tequila? I mean vodka, maybe. 230 00:11:28,616 --> 00:11:30,684 They obviously know their way around a potato, but-- 231 00:11:30,752 --> 00:11:33,883 My point... is maybe you should worry about what's gonna happen to us 232 00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:35,854 when they find out you're not Slater! 233 00:11:35,974 --> 00:11:38,156 Cyril, I should worry about all kinds of shit. 234 00:11:38,276 --> 00:11:40,561 But you know what they say about stress. 235 00:11:43,297 --> 00:11:44,430 C'mon, anybody? 236 00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:50,136 Exactly, the silent killer. 237 00:11:52,306 --> 00:11:54,140 What? What is wrong with you? 238 00:11:54,208 --> 00:11:57,076 Jesus, use your talking words! Just slap her. 239 00:11:57,144 --> 00:11:59,278 Ho, ho, ho, holy shitsnacks! 240 00:11:59,346 --> 00:12:00,913 Did you guys see that? 241 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,081 What are you talking about? 242 00:12:02,149 --> 00:12:04,217 It was, it-it-it-- Just slap him. 243 00:12:04,284 --> 00:12:05,918 C'mon! 244 00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:08,354 Uhh! Where are you going? 245 00:12:08,422 --> 00:12:10,389 Oh! Goddamn it. Ya think? 246 00:12:10,457 --> 00:12:13,359 Yeah, it's worse than I thought. 247 00:12:13,427 --> 00:12:15,061 We might even have to use sour mix. 248 00:12:15,128 --> 00:12:18,197 I am talking about Pam and Krieger running around 249 00:12:18,265 --> 00:12:20,299 a top secret military installation in their underwear! 250 00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:22,401 When they're supposed to be prisoners! 251 00:12:22,469 --> 00:12:25,892 Yeah that's no good, huh? They'll probably shoot them on sight. 252 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,974 Well? 253 00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:32,011 Well what, Cyril? Yes, obviously I'm gonna go after them... 254 00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:41,153 So just calm down, do something with your hands. Cut some limes. 255 00:12:41,221 --> 00:12:45,224 Security breach, sector nine. 256 00:12:45,292 --> 00:12:49,028 No, but seriously, Cyril. Cut some limes. 257 00:12:49,096 --> 00:12:51,063 Like, six. 258 00:12:53,407 --> 00:12:56,814 Security breach. Sector nine. 259 00:12:56,934 --> 00:13:00,470 You think that's for us? I don't know. What sector is this? 260 00:13:00,538 --> 00:13:02,162 What am I, this map? 261 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,809 Oh wait. Aw crap, this is totally nine! 262 00:13:05,877 --> 00:13:09,075 Eh, could be a coincidence. Yeah, like just a fire drill. 263 00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:12,243 Although it's probably because they found that poor kid you clobbered. 264 00:13:12,311 --> 00:13:16,147 You don't think I killed him, do ya? What am I, a doctor? 265 00:13:16,215 --> 00:13:18,149 Ouch. 266 00:13:18,217 --> 00:13:22,917 So, guess Pam came through here. Jesus, it's like tracking a bear. 267 00:13:24,457 --> 00:13:26,856 Wait, you're breathing though, right? 268 00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:31,129 Attaboy, shake it off. Bet you probably just have brain-- 269 00:13:31,197 --> 00:13:33,098 Freeze! 270 00:13:33,165 --> 00:13:35,300 Hey, guys. Drop it! I said drop it! 271 00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:43,108 It was empty anyway. 272 00:13:43,175 --> 00:13:45,143 The weapon! Drop the weapon! 273 00:13:45,211 --> 00:13:47,545 What, on the floor? Are you serious? 274 00:13:47,613 --> 00:13:51,182 So hey, you may not know this, since I assume you get yours for free, 275 00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,218 but guns are actually pretty expensive-- 276 00:13:53,285 --> 00:13:54,385 I'm gonna count to three! 277 00:13:54,453 --> 00:13:56,221 Look, count to whatever you want. 278 00:13:56,288 --> 00:13:59,257 A hundred thousand. Mm-hm. 279 00:13:59,325 --> 00:14:01,359 Dollars. Mm. 280 00:14:01,427 --> 00:14:03,328 To name my kid after you? 281 00:14:03,395 --> 00:14:05,130 I think it's quite generous. 282 00:14:05,197 --> 00:14:07,298 I think it's quite batshit insane! 283 00:14:07,366 --> 00:14:09,467 Well, I-- and Ron can afford it and-- 284 00:14:09,535 --> 00:14:12,170 I'm not selling you the naming rights, Malory! 285 00:14:12,238 --> 00:14:14,172 She's not a frickin' bowl game! 286 00:14:14,824 --> 00:14:19,415 Oh... now... 287 00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:24,797 I mean, if it means that much to you-- 288 00:14:27,319 --> 00:14:32,557 I guess maybe Malory could be her... middle name? 289 00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:37,228 Really? Yes. 290 00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:40,650 Well, obviously that's not worth a hundred thousand dollars, but-- 291 00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:42,133 Fifty? Pff! 292 00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:46,171 22.5, and I want a notarized copy of the revised birth certificate 293 00:14:46,238 --> 00:14:48,273 on my desk by Friday. 294 00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:50,542 I-- Oh, and christen her in a white church, 295 00:14:50,609 --> 00:14:55,380 and I'll kick in five more. Wow. 296 00:14:55,447 --> 00:14:59,450 Real life E.T.'s! My God, I hope we find them. I have so many questions! 297 00:14:59,518 --> 00:15:02,749 Pff, like what, how to build a better anal probe? 298 00:15:02,788 --> 00:15:05,684 Right? I bet their anal technology is light-years ahead of mine. 299 00:15:05,752 --> 00:15:08,520 A light-year's a unit of length, dipshit. 300 00:15:08,588 --> 00:15:10,522 Well, whatever then... Parsecs. 301 00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:12,458 Length. I-- hey ya know what? 302 00:15:12,525 --> 00:15:16,261 I know how far light travels in vacuum in a Julian year. 303 00:15:16,329 --> 00:15:17,629 Ooooh! 304 00:15:17,697 --> 00:15:20,332 Very good, Pamela. 305 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,603 I, that, my, I-- you know my name? 306 00:15:24,671 --> 00:15:27,573 Yes, Pamela. And yours, Algernop. 307 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,342 But, but, but-but but-but-- English? 308 00:15:31,678 --> 00:15:35,280 Yeah, head. Head. 309 00:15:35,348 --> 00:15:37,674 Pam! I think he means telepathy. 310 00:15:37,794 --> 00:15:39,932 Holy shit, like in scanners? 311 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,040 No. 312 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,103 No no no, wait! I have Q-clearance! 313 00:15:44,223 --> 00:15:46,863 Bullshit. Firing in three! Two! 314 00:15:46,930 --> 00:15:50,390 No! Stop it! Look, I'm serious. Just radio Lieutenant Colonel. 315 00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:52,030 He can straighten this whole thing out! 316 00:15:52,144 --> 00:15:53,995 Lieutenant Colonel who? What? 317 00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:56,839 Lieutenant Colonel who. 318 00:15:56,907 --> 00:15:58,603 Oh, my God! 319 00:15:58,877 --> 00:16:02,295 Wow, all right, this is pretty embarrassing. 320 00:16:02,415 --> 00:16:04,714 I thought that guy was a lieutenant, 321 00:16:04,782 --> 00:16:06,957 and that his last name was Colonel. 322 00:16:07,456 --> 00:16:09,252 In three! Two! Wait! 323 00:16:09,372 --> 00:16:13,073 Goddamn it, look, I was just trying to get home from Vegas. 324 00:16:13,924 --> 00:16:17,342 So okay, here, you can have my weapon. 325 00:16:17,462 --> 00:16:19,089 But I do have some conditions. 326 00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:20,963 Uh, what conditions? 327 00:16:21,031 --> 00:16:23,599 Well... you're not gonna like 'em. 328 00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,982 Whew! 329 00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:41,658 And not to knock the air force, but... 330 00:16:41,778 --> 00:16:44,214 good thing you guys have airplanes. 331 00:16:44,464 --> 00:16:46,272 I got a cousin in the Air Force. 332 00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:48,783 Brian. I should give him a call. 333 00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:51,070 Should we, uh... 334 00:16:51,309 --> 00:16:53,911 Guys, I really feel like we should be doing something. 335 00:16:53,979 --> 00:16:56,380 - Ugh, we are... - C'mon, nothing by the drifters? 336 00:16:56,448 --> 00:17:00,084 The tams? The dominoes? The embers? They call this "Classic Rock." 337 00:17:00,151 --> 00:17:03,053 Pff, what is this, Myrtle Beach? 338 00:17:03,121 --> 00:17:06,223 Ray. Is this Myrtle Beach? No. 339 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:10,060 And that, my dear earthlings, 340 00:17:10,128 --> 00:17:14,098 is the key to understanding the entire universe. 341 00:17:14,165 --> 00:17:17,201 Well, at least as we understand it. 342 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:18,969 Yes. 343 00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:23,941 Ta-take us... with you! 344 00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:26,243 I will, if you shut up! 345 00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:35,185 What the hell, Krieger, did you shove your dick in a socket? 346 00:17:35,253 --> 00:17:38,222 Did-did-- ow! 347 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,391 Krieger, I am in no mood. Now, get dressed. 348 00:17:40,458 --> 00:17:42,326 Ugh, seriously? 349 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:45,396 Yes, seriously. We're gonna walk out of this building, 350 00:17:45,463 --> 00:17:48,432 into a hangar, and steal an Air Force plane! 351 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,928 And while we're doing that, I could do with a whole lot less shit from you, 352 00:17:51,996 --> 00:17:54,364 Since all I wanted was a ride home! 353 00:17:54,432 --> 00:17:58,001 On my private jet. Wh--? Yes! 354 00:17:58,069 --> 00:18:00,937 Can, can-can we talk for a second? About what happened? 355 00:18:01,005 --> 00:18:05,108 Uh, is that before or after Krieger sexually assaulted a two-twenty outlet? 356 00:18:05,176 --> 00:18:07,110 "Area 51". 357 00:18:07,178 --> 00:18:09,946 No! You guys! I swear, they were-- 358 00:18:10,014 --> 00:18:11,948 Pam! Seriously, get your shit together. 359 00:18:12,016 --> 00:18:15,085 We have to go steal a plane from the United States Air Force. 360 00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:18,288 Which... 361 00:18:18,356 --> 00:18:20,924 not as hard as I would've thought. 362 00:18:20,992 --> 00:18:22,359 Ray! Wie geht's? 363 00:18:22,427 --> 00:18:24,961 Pff, darf min gehn in kolledj? 364 00:18:25,029 --> 00:18:29,199 Yeah? You guys good? If you want a drink, just-- wh--? 365 00:18:29,267 --> 00:18:31,732 Because it's just de-icing fluid and Tang. 366 00:18:31,852 --> 00:18:35,005 Tell me! Tell me you saw them! 367 00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:39,209 I-- Pam, I saw a blinding white flash, that's it. No E.T., no Alf... 368 00:18:39,277 --> 00:18:42,012 B-but you believe me, don't you? 369 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,006 You believe I'm telling the truth! 370 00:18:45,715 --> 00:18:48,985 Pam, the truth is out there. 371 00:18:49,053 --> 00:18:51,354 So you do believe me? 372 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:54,958 No! You stupid idiot! 373 00:18:55,026 --> 00:18:58,803 Alrighty then! I think I'm sufficiently drunk enough, so... 374 00:18:59,060 --> 00:19:00,981 so who's up for Branson? 375 00:19:01,101 --> 00:19:03,316 Realsies, realsies? Yeah! 376 00:19:04,322 --> 00:19:06,190 This thing have bombs on it? 377 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:19,727 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net