1 00:00:05,546 --> 00:00:08,404 I don't know but I think we're pretty close. What? 2 00:00:08,503 --> 00:00:11,399 Well blame these road signs. They don't have any vowels. 3 00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:13,606 Yes, and thanks for watching AJ. 4 00:00:13,726 --> 00:00:17,709 I-- No, as a matter of fact I don't think it's a good opportunity to 5 00:00:17,711 --> 00:00:21,947 quote "work some of that fat off her", unquote. I-- 6 00:00:21,949 --> 00:00:26,618 Mother, she's a goddamn baby! No, I have to go so-- 7 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:30,288 I will! And if I find out you gave her diet pills, Mother, no kidding, 8 00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:33,258 - I will have you arrested! - Hmm? Do what? 9 00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:36,261 - Who's having a rest? - I heard you, now I gotta go. Goodbye. 10 00:00:36,263 --> 00:00:39,897 - Hey, sleepyhead. - Hey you. 11 00:00:39,899 --> 00:00:43,901 - Mmm, man, I was out. - Yeah you were. 12 00:00:43,903 --> 00:00:46,904 Where are we? Seriously, what is this, the Shire? 13 00:00:46,906 --> 00:00:50,041 - No, uh-- it's-- - Wait, wait, wait. 14 00:00:50,043 --> 00:00:53,044 What the shit? Where are we? Where is AJ? 15 00:00:53,046 --> 00:00:56,047 - She's with Mother. Calm down, I-- - Why am I in a car, in a 16 00:00:56,049 --> 00:01:00,351 trench coat, and lingerie? Why am I in-- Oh my God, there was a vagina in your sink! 17 00:01:00,353 --> 00:01:04,321 - Okay, technically yes, but-- - I caught you cheating on me. 18 00:01:04,323 --> 00:01:07,291 - No you didn't because no I wasn't. - Stop the car, let me out. 19 00:01:07,293 --> 00:01:10,294 - You stop it now! Calm down? - Lana, calm down. 20 00:01:10,296 --> 00:01:13,397 - Yes! I can explain if you-- - Yeah, explain how I just woke 21 00:01:13,399 --> 00:01:21,251 up in weird clothes in a weird car, in-- Archer, where are we? 22 00:01:21,371 --> 00:01:24,074 - Wales. - Wales? 23 00:01:24,076 --> 00:01:28,745 - Yeah, surprise is ruined. - No it's not! I am extremely surprised! 24 00:01:28,747 --> 00:01:32,016 - Really? - Because the last thing I remember, we were arguing in 25 00:01:32,018 --> 00:01:36,320 - your bedroom! - Yeah, I wanted to explain everything but you were totally 26 00:01:36,322 --> 00:01:39,990 freaking out, so I thought let's go somewhere neutral, you know? Talk things out. 27 00:01:39,992 --> 00:01:44,327 So we're going to this little farm right on the coast. It's remote but it's got this 28 00:01:44,329 --> 00:01:49,699 real, kinda rugged beauty, you know? It's actually very romantic. 29 00:01:49,701 --> 00:01:55,611 Oh. So just curious, what happened between your bedroom and right now? 30 00:01:55,731 --> 00:01:57,974 Well you were hysterical, Lana, so I thought the best 31 00:01:57,976 --> 00:01:59,928 thing to do would be 32 00:02:00,048 --> 00:02:02,960 inject you with a tranquilizer, drive you to a private airfield, put you 33 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:07,738 on a CIA plane, fly you overnight to Wales and then that brings us to now. 34 00:02:07,858 --> 00:02:11,153 - Huh. - And I know drugging women isn't cool at all, ever, and 35 00:02:11,155 --> 00:02:15,691 obviously I would never, ever do that for any sort of sexual assaulty reason. 36 00:02:15,693 --> 00:02:18,694 I mean for one thing, I'd never need to. 37 00:02:18,696 --> 00:02:20,883 That's what the whole fight was about in the first place, right? 38 00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:22,604 Women throwing themselves at-- 39 00:02:22,724 --> 00:02:26,968 Stop the car. 40 00:02:26,970 --> 00:02:30,538 - Choking-- - Sorry, maybe you can't hear me over the sound of all the 41 00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:35,142 blood vessels bursting in your eyes. I said stop. 42 00:02:35,144 --> 00:02:41,082 Ahh! 43 00:02:41,084 --> 00:02:44,551 Ahh! 44 00:02:45,686 --> 00:02:51,959 Well, I hate to say it, but you were right. 45 00:02:51,961 --> 00:02:58,665 - It is kind of romantic. - Yeah, right? 46 00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:02,502 I'm pretty sure there's a fireplace. 47 00:03:28,268 --> 00:03:38,661 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 48 00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:47,037 There, see? Quaint little farmhouse, a cozy little fire going. 49 00:03:47,146 --> 00:03:49,550 I mean this place is right out of a fairytale. 50 00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:53,018 Yeah, a fairytale in which the heroine is drugged and kidnapped. 51 00:03:53,138 --> 00:03:55,781 You realize that's like every fairytale. 52 00:03:56,055 --> 00:03:58,855 - I do now that you mention it! - Don't yell at me. 53 00:03:58,857 --> 00:04:02,258 - I'm not the one advocating rape and child cannibalism. - No! 54 00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:05,362 You're the one whose ex-girlfriend left her robot vagina in your sink. 55 00:04:05,364 --> 00:04:09,999 Unbeknownst to me, Lana! Jesus, we've been through this like ten times already. 56 00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:13,740 Well, sorry I'm hazy on the details of what happened right before I was drugged 57 00:04:13,741 --> 00:04:16,906 - and stuffed in a cargo hold. - It wasn't the c-- You were in a seat. 58 00:04:16,907 --> 00:04:21,249 - Is that supposed to make it better? - That is better! Like, empirically. 59 00:04:21,369 --> 00:04:23,178 - I am leaving. - No no, wait, wait, wait. 60 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,782 - Let me explain. - If you don't let go of me, you're gonna have to explain how 61 00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:31,754 - those tampons got driven into your brain. - Thanks for these, by the way. 62 00:04:31,756 --> 00:04:35,876 And Lana, I swear I didn't call Katya. I just came home and there she was. 63 00:04:35,996 --> 00:04:38,241 And why would she just show up? 64 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:42,530 - I think the idiots called her. - What idiots? 65 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,800 - Alrighty, can someone give me a hand? - But, Doctor, I thought the 66 00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:48,803 - patient was getting the hand. - Speaking of hands, Nurse, I'm-- 67 00:04:48,805 --> 00:04:51,806 - Overplaying yours? - Well I was gonna say "putty in yours", 68 00:04:51,808 --> 00:04:55,168 - my dear, but I'll have to hand it to ya. - Hm, keep your hands to yourself, Doctor. 69 00:04:55,176 --> 00:04:58,241 Can we have a show of hands? Who thinks this is getting out of hand? 70 00:04:58,361 --> 00:05:02,950 Goddamn it! Can you please shut up 71 00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:05,930 and sew on my robot hand? 72 00:05:08,287 --> 00:05:12,826 - Hand job. - So they call Katya because they're jealous we're dating. 73 00:05:12,828 --> 00:05:16,163 - She shows up-- - Unbeknownst. - And nothing happens, even 74 00:05:16,165 --> 00:05:20,034 though all your clothes get burned off, champagne gets jizzed everywhere and her vag 75 00:05:20,036 --> 00:05:24,604 - winds up in the sink. - Yes. - So, you're saying it was-- 76 00:05:24,606 --> 00:05:28,108 - Literally a farce. Exactly, yes! - Ah. 77 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:31,644 Lana, come on. Whose life through no, or sometimes maybe moderate fault 78 00:05:31,646 --> 00:05:35,548 - of his own, is as farcical as mine? - Hmm. 79 00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:38,851 - You still shouldn't have drugged me. - No, I know, that was-- 80 00:05:38,853 --> 00:05:41,471 Extremely uncool. 81 00:05:42,282 --> 00:05:43,972 Mmm, that's not though. Holy shit. 82 00:05:44,092 --> 00:05:49,094 Right? Glengoolie: for the best of times. 83 00:05:49,096 --> 00:05:50,697 And after we're done here, well 84 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,920 we'll have to rent a new car, but we can drive up to the distillery and-- 85 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,969 Done here, at our romantic fairytale getaway where you 86 00:05:56,971 --> 00:06:01,240 make up for all the idiot Archer shit you pulled over the past 24 hours? 87 00:06:01,242 --> 00:06:04,744 Yes, and-- Here's the thing. 88 00:06:04,746 --> 00:06:07,712 What the-- Freeze! 89 00:06:07,714 --> 00:06:11,015 - Whoa, whoa, steady on. - Freeze or I'll-- I have no weapon. Archer! 90 00:06:11,135 --> 00:06:16,455 - Ah, so you're Archer. - Uh, yes. 91 00:06:16,457 --> 00:06:20,366 - And are those tampons? - Also yes. 92 00:06:20,486 --> 00:06:22,909 Right, so if he's Archer, 93 00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:27,398 - I suppose that makes you Lana Kane. - I-- Yes, actually. 94 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,058 And I suppose that makes you-- Who the hell are you? 95 00:06:30,178 --> 00:06:31,351 Lloyd Llewellyn. 96 00:06:31,471 --> 00:06:34,811 This is my brother, David. Say hello to the lady, David. 97 00:06:34,931 --> 00:06:36,170 Hello, lady. 98 00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:40,445 Hello, human giant. And follow up question: why the hell are you here? 99 00:06:40,447 --> 00:06:44,582 - Ah. Have you not told her? - Yeah, so, even though it's a 100 00:06:44,584 --> 00:06:51,687 romantic fairytale getaway, there's also kind of a work component to it. 101 00:06:51,807 --> 00:06:55,860 - Lana? - What? 102 00:06:56,464 --> 00:06:58,863 Come on, it's like 30 bucks a glass. 103 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:04,835 So if I understand the situation correctly, 104 00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:07,709 we're supposed to help these terrorists who-- 105 00:07:07,829 --> 00:07:10,516 Well you obviously don't understand the situation, 106 00:07:10,636 --> 00:07:13,298 because we're not terrorists. We're freedom fighters. 107 00:07:13,418 --> 00:07:15,495 They're the Free Wales Army, Lana. 108 00:07:15,615 --> 00:07:18,876 - "Fe godwn ni eto." - Oh yeah, that's-- that's right, David. Good lad. 109 00:07:18,996 --> 00:07:20,415 Leg hurts. 110 00:07:20,534 --> 00:07:23,902 - Yes, it will do, Dav. You've been shot. - So we're supposed to help 111 00:07:23,904 --> 00:07:27,924 George and Lennie here out of the country because they're wanted by MI5? 112 00:07:28,044 --> 00:07:31,609 - Yeah, that's what Mother said. - MI5, from England. 113 00:07:31,611 --> 00:07:34,612 - Our ally. - Well they're no ally to Wales. 114 00:07:34,614 --> 00:07:38,116 What are you-- It's the same country, Lloyd! 115 00:07:38,118 --> 00:07:41,886 - Tell that to Dyffryn Thebwys. - Duffer who? 116 00:07:41,888 --> 00:07:45,923 Dyffryn Thebwys. It was a town in Wales that had stood proudly for a thousand 117 00:07:45,925 --> 00:07:51,095 years until the Saesnig-- the English, deliberately flooded it. 118 00:07:51,097 --> 00:07:54,231 - Oh my God, to drown everybody? - No, to make a reservoir. 119 00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:58,135 They needed water! So they built a dam and that flooded Dyffryn Thebwys, and 120 00:07:58,137 --> 00:08:03,052 - all the people lost their homes. - My God, countless thousands of them! 121 00:08:03,172 --> 00:08:05,193 - Well, 48. - Thousand! 122 00:08:05,313 --> 00:08:07,476 - No, just 48. You know, four dozen. - Are you-- 123 00:08:07,596 --> 00:08:09,980 Still though! So now they're all homeless? 124 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,986 Well, no. They were compensated, so they 125 00:08:13,106 --> 00:08:16,619 got new houses somewhere else and well, in many cases, much nicer ones. 126 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,589 - Then what's the problem? - Who are you, Josephine Stalin? 127 00:08:19,591 --> 00:08:22,592 - That shit wouldn't happen in America. - Yes it would, and does, all 128 00:08:22,594 --> 00:08:27,327 the time. The TVA has flooded thousands of Americans out of their homes. 129 00:08:27,447 --> 00:08:30,250 - The what? - Tennessee Valley Authority? 130 00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:33,970 Remember Deliverance? How the whole valley was gonna 131 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:37,039 - be flooded? - Lana, I hate to break it to 132 00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:41,343 you-- I even hate to say it out loud, but Deliverance was just a movie. 133 00:08:41,463 --> 00:08:46,281 Oh, my God. So what exactly are you wanted by MI5 for? 134 00:08:46,283 --> 00:08:49,685 - Uh, we tried to blow up a dam. - A dam? 135 00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:51,786 What, to flood a bunch of other people out of their homes? 136 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:56,092 - Well not real people. Just English ones. - Excuse me. 137 00:08:56,094 --> 00:09:00,329 Christ, is she always this angry? 138 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:03,499 - She's not mad at you, Lloyd. She's mad at me. - For what? 139 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:07,769 Um, okay. So I was engaged to this smoking hot Russian woman. 140 00:09:07,771 --> 00:09:10,696 - Lieutenant Ginger Bayliss. - Clamp. 141 00:09:10,945 --> 00:09:12,567 Played by Odessa Cleveland. 142 00:09:12,687 --> 00:09:15,087 Who later had a guest spot as a nurse on Trapper John, M.D. 143 00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:16,261 What? 144 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:19,714 Starring Pernell Roberts as the titular Trapper John, somehow. 145 00:09:19,716 --> 00:09:23,251 - In a drama, which was totally weird. - But not as weird as Ed Asner. 146 00:09:23,253 --> 00:09:25,396 Mary Tyler Moore's Lou Grant. 147 00:09:25,516 --> 00:09:28,689 Playing Lou Grant in the show Lou Grant,which was also a drama. 148 00:09:28,809 --> 00:09:32,779 Okay, yeah, but besides one nurse, M*A S*H didn't have any black characters. 149 00:09:32,899 --> 00:09:36,324 - Actually it did have one. - And his name was Spearchucker. 150 00:09:36,444 --> 00:09:38,854 - What? - Spearchucker Jones. 151 00:09:38,974 --> 00:09:41,480 - I mean-- - Okay yeah, maybe in the book 152 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,103 or that crazy football movie, but I'm talking about-- 153 00:09:44,223 --> 00:09:45,216 Yeah, the show! 154 00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:48,650 - On network television! - In America, and not that long ago. 155 00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:51,874 - But how is this even possible? - Well I know it may seem strange. 156 00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:54,112 What, aiding our ally's enemies? 157 00:09:54,232 --> 00:09:55,571 Well it makes sense! 158 00:09:55,691 --> 00:09:58,395 When you're the biggest kid in the schoolyard, if your little 159 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,884 - friends have a bully-- - You want them to come running to you. 160 00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:05,087 - Exactly. And Slater says-- - Wait, you talked to Slater? 161 00:10:05,089 --> 00:10:10,225 Yes, Lana. Obviously I've spoken to Slater, and he says the CIA does this 162 00:10:10,227 --> 00:10:12,154 sort of thing all the time, so-- 163 00:10:12,274 --> 00:10:14,811 So, did he say why he keeps giving us these assignments that 164 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,999 - always seem to blow up in our faces? - No. 165 00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:21,370 - Although speaking of blowing up-- - Malory, she's a baby, and 166 00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:25,274 she weighs exactly as much as she's supposed to, so you better be feeding her! 167 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:28,276 I am, it's just- 168 00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:31,190 Hello? Please. 169 00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:37,390 As if I wouldn't feed you. Now who wants a wittle ice chip? 170 00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:42,879 No? I suppose you'd prefer a nice big bottle of that liquid butter fat. 171 00:10:42,999 --> 00:10:46,661 Goat, swear to Christ, I'll 172 00:10:46,663 --> 00:10:50,397 have your hide as boots and the rest of you as a curry! Go on, shoo! 173 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,700 Shoo! Sh-- hit. Shit, shit! 174 00:10:53,702 --> 00:10:57,637 - Ah, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. - No shit, I'm telling 175 00:10:57,639 --> 00:11:02,810 you guys, Katya looked absolutely amazing. The tiniest, laciest lingerie 176 00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:06,246 you've ever seen. Sexy stiletto heels. 177 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:10,284 - And a good body, huh? - Good? I mean, you're from the UK, so 178 00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:13,953 you don't have anything to compare it to, but no Lloyd. Not good. 179 00:11:13,955 --> 00:11:17,290 - Insane. - David! 180 00:11:17,292 --> 00:11:20,742 And she was just like rubbing all over me. 181 00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:22,877 But nothing happened? 182 00:11:22,997 --> 00:11:26,731 No, nothing. Well, except for the goodbye kiss 183 00:11:26,851 --> 00:11:31,221 which was definitely NSF Wales, if you know what I mean. 184 00:11:31,341 --> 00:11:32,854 Oh, you little-- 185 00:11:32,974 --> 00:11:36,630 I say, pardon me. Madam. Hello? 186 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:40,998 - Lana, hey. We were just-- not talking. - Shut up. 187 00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:42,131 Already was, so-- 188 00:11:42,251 --> 00:11:46,452 So, is it possible you two were followed here by MI5? 189 00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:52,240 - Ummmmmm... Yeah. - What?! 190 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,785 - Yeah, they're quite good. - Son of a-- 191 00:11:53,836 --> 00:11:54,812 Archer, passport. 192 00:11:54,853 --> 00:11:56,654 - What, why do you--? - Give me your passport! 193 00:11:56,895 --> 00:11:58,068 Here. 194 00:11:58,442 --> 00:12:01,536 - Ah, for the love of-- "Randy Randalman"? - Yeah. 195 00:12:01,656 --> 00:12:03,588 Randy grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, 196 00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:05,853 ran with a bad crowd, got into some trouble, 197 00:12:05,973 --> 00:12:09,574 went to juvie. Uh, he worked in the mess hall there, fell in love with 198 00:12:09,576 --> 00:12:12,845 cooking, and so when he got out he went to culinary school and now he's got 199 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:14,380 two restaurants, Lana, 200 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:19,150 one Michelin star and a marriage that's on the rocks. He's here to go balls deep on 201 00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:21,501 farm to table, you know. Trying to get back to basics. 202 00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:22,334 Archer-- 203 00:12:22,454 --> 00:12:24,453 Like that time Rocky went to Russia. 204 00:12:24,573 --> 00:12:27,101 Just get in that closet over there and take Lurch with you. 205 00:12:27,221 --> 00:12:27,800 David. 206 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,457 Wait, he's the one they're looking for. Why am I getting in the closet? 207 00:12:30,577 --> 00:12:33,031 Because I said so! How is your American accent? 208 00:12:33,151 --> 00:12:34,404 Um, I guess it's okay, 209 00:12:34,524 --> 00:12:36,485 I mean like, you know, like, people are always like, you know. 210 00:12:36,605 --> 00:12:39,965 - Like, you know, it's crap? - No dude, people really dig it. 211 00:12:40,085 --> 00:12:44,428 People from where, dude? Quebec? He's the one who should be in the closet! 212 00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,976 No, wait. Oh, hang on. 213 00:12:46,978 --> 00:12:49,735 - Lana, why am I in the closet? - Because I said so! 214 00:12:49,855 --> 00:12:52,031 I think this'll really help sell it. 215 00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:54,354 What? Randy doesn't wear nerd goggles! 216 00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:56,162 He's a culinary bad boy! 217 00:12:56,282 --> 00:12:58,162 Open the door, please. 218 00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:02,325 - Get in the closet! - I am getting in the closet 219 00:13:02,327 --> 00:13:05,806 because I choose to get in the closet. Come on, Gort. 220 00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:07,689 David. 221 00:13:08,064 --> 00:13:11,527 Okay, Randy. Follow my lead. 222 00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:14,209 - Yes? - Good afternoon. 223 00:13:14,329 --> 00:13:17,340 My name is Bardsley. I'm with MI5. 224 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:22,744 - MI5, my goodness! Please, do come in. - Uh, what's the problem here? 225 00:13:22,746 --> 00:13:26,049 - Well the problem, Mister um-- - Randalman, Randy Randalman. 226 00:13:26,169 --> 00:13:27,064 I'm an American. 227 00:13:27,184 --> 00:13:30,780 Right. Uh-- - Uh yeah, I'm here to learn about farm tables. 228 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,755 - I beg your pardon? - I thought it was dams. 229 00:13:33,757 --> 00:13:36,531 - Shh! Come on, buddy. - David. 230 00:13:36,651 --> 00:13:40,123 Farm to table, he meant to say. He's a chef. 231 00:13:40,243 --> 00:13:43,899 - An American chef. - He knows you're American, honey. 232 00:13:44,019 --> 00:13:48,430 Uh, the reason I'm here. We're searching for Welsh terrorists. 233 00:13:48,550 --> 00:13:52,473 Welsh terrorists? Is there even such a thing? 234 00:13:52,475 --> 00:13:56,660 Yes, I'm afraid so. The self-styled Free Wales Army. 235 00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:57,883 "Fe godwn ni--" 236 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:01,630 Shh! If you stay really, really quiet, I will buy you a puppy 237 00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:05,207 that you will probably accidentally strangle. 238 00:14:05,327 --> 00:14:06,601 And we've reason to believe 239 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:10,621 they're in the area, and that one of them is wounded. So we're canvassing all the farms, 240 00:14:10,741 --> 00:14:12,425 and when we saw the damaged vehicle-- 241 00:14:12,545 --> 00:14:14,700 A bee flew in it and I crashed. 242 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,964 A bee flew into aconvertible? 243 00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:23,129 Look, our marriage is on the rocks, and also I have two Michelin tires, so-- 244 00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:27,139 Right. May I just see your passport again, please? 245 00:14:27,141 --> 00:14:30,309 Oh good heavens. Wow. 246 00:14:30,311 --> 00:14:34,279 - What the-- Shit! - Mmm, whoa. 247 00:14:34,281 --> 00:14:40,152 This is actually why we're here in Wales. To try to save our marriage. 248 00:14:40,909 --> 00:14:45,157 Oh, my God, baby. I think it's working. 249 00:14:46,991 --> 00:14:50,942 Are you joking or insane? Do you really expect me to believe 250 00:14:51,062 --> 00:14:54,110 you came to Wales for a romantic getaway? 251 00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:56,026 Easy, bro. Wales is kickass! 252 00:14:56,146 --> 00:15:01,385 Honey! I do, because we did. I mean if this weren't a romantic getaway, 253 00:15:01,505 --> 00:15:05,181 would I be doing this? Mmm! 254 00:15:06,232 --> 00:15:10,336 - What the shit? - Or this? 255 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:14,488 Closet rampage! 256 00:15:14,608 --> 00:15:19,337 Right, then obviously I've made an extremely embarrassing mistake. So uh-- 257 00:15:19,457 --> 00:15:22,471 - What the shit, Lana? - Aha! 258 00:15:22,970 --> 00:15:24,242 "Aha", what? 259 00:15:24,362 --> 00:15:27,702 - Who is this man? - I-- Wait, shit. Who am I? 260 00:15:27,822 --> 00:15:31,095 You're Lloyd Llewellyn, if I don't miss my guess, which means 261 00:15:31,215 --> 00:15:35,425 - your brother David can't be too far off. - Uh, in the closet, jacking off in a hat. 262 00:15:35,545 --> 00:15:36,522 - David! - No I'm not. 263 00:15:36,642 --> 00:15:39,990 Yes you are! And I'm not Lloyd Llewellyn. He is! 264 00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:43,525 - Oh, Archer. - Archer? As in Sterling Archer? 265 00:15:43,645 --> 00:15:47,028 - Yes, you idiot! - As in Sterling Archer of the CIA? 266 00:15:47,148 --> 00:15:50,253 - I mean no, you idiot. I mean-- - My God. 267 00:15:50,373 --> 00:15:56,884 - Then you must be Lana-- Ugh! - Way to go, Randy. 268 00:15:57,004 --> 00:15:59,394 - Ugh, how is this Randy's fault? - Oh, I'm sorry. 269 00:15:59,514 --> 00:16:03,148 Did someone else just barge in here yelling their idiot head off about being with the CIA? 270 00:16:03,268 --> 00:16:07,236 Oh, I don't know. Was someone else making out with Frodo P. Gryffindor here, 271 00:16:07,356 --> 00:16:10,824 - just to make someone else jealous? - Well, maybe now you know how I feel. 272 00:16:10,944 --> 00:16:14,923 Actually I don't know how you feel Lana, because I didn't make out with Katya! 273 00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:19,573 Oh no? You didn't jam your fat tongue down her throat on that goodbye kiss? 274 00:16:19,693 --> 00:16:21,658 You were eavesdropping! 275 00:16:21,778 --> 00:16:23,866 - Uh yeah, I'm a spy. - Oh, right. 276 00:16:23,986 --> 00:16:27,288 And I also heard you raving about how insane Katya's body was! 277 00:16:27,408 --> 00:16:29,958 Is! But not as insane as your mind! 278 00:16:30,078 --> 00:16:32,663 And her stilettos, and her lingerie, and her big, fat, 279 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,894 - vibrating robot vagina! - And you're making my point for me! 280 00:16:36,014 --> 00:16:37,228 And-- how? 281 00:16:37,348 --> 00:16:41,033 It's easy not to bang your ex if she's gone all frump-a-dump. 282 00:16:41,153 --> 00:16:46,235 The fact that Katya's still crazy hot makes it all the more commendable I didn't bang her! 283 00:16:47,033 --> 00:16:50,216 I'm sorry, I think one of us must have just suffered a massive stroke. 284 00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:53,771 - Oh, sorry. That's me, just making toast. - Tooooast! 285 00:16:53,891 --> 00:16:57,326 - Yes, come and have some toast, David. - Ugh, make him wash his hands first. 286 00:16:57,446 --> 00:16:59,060 Okay so, what do we do about this? 287 00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:01,060 Well, since apparently we're seeing other people now-- 288 00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,320 - Oh? - Not you. 289 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,669 Not us, I meant sleepy Floyd here. 290 00:17:04,789 --> 00:17:07,904 Right, shit. He knows we're with the CIA, thanks to your fat mouth. 291 00:17:08,024 --> 00:17:11,796 Well it was your fat mouth all over him that started this whole thing. 292 00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:15,789 Here, both of you. Get your fat mouths around some hot, crispy toast. 293 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,558 - Toooast! - Damn it, David! Come and have some toast! 294 00:17:18,678 --> 00:17:20,320 It's obvious what we have to do with him. 295 00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:22,528 Shoot him. 296 00:17:22,648 --> 00:17:24,836 - What? - We're not shooting an MI5 agent. 297 00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,141 That's like shooting-- a cow. 298 00:17:27,261 --> 00:17:29,960 - How is that like-- - Lana, cows are our friends! 299 00:17:30,347 --> 00:17:33,551 - They may even be our best friends. - We have to shoot him! 300 00:17:33,671 --> 00:17:37,468 If we don't, Downing Street will know the CIA's bankrolling the Free Wales Army! 301 00:17:37,588 --> 00:17:39,059 "Fe godwn ni eto." 302 00:17:39,179 --> 00:17:42,219 David, come and have the bloody toast or I'm throwing it in the bloody bin. 303 00:17:42,277 --> 00:17:45,230 - He does have a point, Lana. - Yeah, I hate to waste good toast. 304 00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:47,939 We are not murdering an MI5 agent. 305 00:17:48,059 --> 00:17:52,305 - End of sentence, end of discussion. - Are you sure there's nothing I can do 306 00:17:52,425 --> 00:17:54,631 - or say to change your mind, Lana? - Very. 307 00:17:54,751 --> 00:17:58,137 - Well then could you hold the toast? - Damn it! 308 00:17:58,257 --> 00:18:00,384 - Lloyd? - Yeah, grabbed it while you were arguing. 309 00:18:00,504 --> 00:18:03,246 You never read Rosenberg's writings on nonviolent communication? 310 00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:05,990 - Uh, no. - Ah it really helped me and David. 311 00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:09,156 - Well, maybe we'll check that out. - Uh, don't bother. 312 00:18:09,276 --> 00:18:12,807 Because before I shoot this MI5 asshole, I'm gonna have to shoot the both of you. 313 00:18:12,927 --> 00:18:16,024 - Wait, what? - Ah, don't worry. We'll always have-- 314 00:18:17,434 --> 00:18:19,427 You think he was gonna say "table"? 315 00:18:19,547 --> 00:18:21,987 - I think probably "Wales". - Lloyd! 316 00:18:22,107 --> 00:18:24,794 Uh, so, that's a problem. 317 00:18:24,914 --> 00:18:28,424 - Nope, that is your problem. - Uh, then may I have the gun please? 318 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:32,534 - No. - Oh my God, you are so immature. 319 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:36,051 And you are so big. 320 00:18:38,062 --> 00:18:40,357 This is gonna be all Daniel Boone. 321 00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:45,726 Alrighty, I think that's got it. Nurse, would you close for me? 322 00:18:45,846 --> 00:18:48,778 - Uh, you already did that, Doctor. - Oh right. 323 00:18:48,898 --> 00:18:50,338 Well then would you open for me? 324 00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:52,614 Goddamn it! Stop sexually harassing me! 325 00:18:52,879 --> 00:18:54,844 - Sorry. - Jesus. 326 00:18:54,964 --> 00:18:58,726 Seriously. Come on, Tinker Toy, let's go pound some homemade gin! 327 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:03,096 So wait, how did we get to talking about African American characters on M*A S*H? 328 00:19:03,216 --> 00:19:06,923 Well the M*A S*H connection is obvious, perhaps even painfully so, 329 00:19:07,043 --> 00:19:11,686 but the African American thing? Nope, no idea. 330 00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:14,213 But all things considered, 331 00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:16,450 that went about as well as could be expected. 332 00:19:16,570 --> 00:19:18,233 Oh yeah? Which part? 333 00:19:18,586 --> 00:19:21,174 Leaving two Welsh terrorists basically at large, or 334 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:23,324 kidnapping an MI5 agent? 335 00:19:23,444 --> 00:19:25,624 - Well first of all, both. - How-- 336 00:19:25,744 --> 00:19:29,655 And second of all I was talking about our argument and how now you realize 337 00:19:29,775 --> 00:19:34,118 - you overreacted about Katya. - I-- Oh my God. 338 00:19:34,238 --> 00:19:37,315 - Admit it, Lana. - I admit nothing. 339 00:19:37,627 --> 00:19:40,895 Although, I do think we both learned that 340 00:19:41,015 --> 00:19:43,215 trust is important and-- 341 00:19:43,335 --> 00:19:44,911 I don't know, whatever! Trust! 342 00:19:45,031 --> 00:19:47,422 - Is that the best I'm gonna get out of you? - Yup. 343 00:19:47,542 --> 00:19:48,420 By far. 344 00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:51,169 Well then I accept your non-apology. 345 00:19:51,289 --> 00:19:52,154 And? 346 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:55,050 Oh my God, and I promise to try not to get into 347 00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:57,348 compromising situations with other women. 348 00:19:57,468 --> 00:19:58,474 Best I can do. 349 00:19:58,594 --> 00:20:00,906 Well then let's just get this limey bastard 350 00:20:01,026 --> 00:20:03,801 on that CIA plane and let Slater worry about the blowback. 351 00:20:04,113 --> 00:20:05,809 You don't think they'll kill him, do you? 352 00:20:05,929 --> 00:20:07,793 No, then they'd have to kill us. 353 00:20:08,702 --> 00:20:11,826 But, before we go back to the States-- 354 00:20:11,946 --> 00:20:13,687 Archer, I am not driving to Scotland 355 00:20:13,807 --> 00:20:15,757 with a kidnapped MI5 agent in the back 356 00:20:15,877 --> 00:20:19,125 - just to visit a stupid distillery. - It's not stupid, Lana, it's-- 357 00:20:19,462 --> 00:20:21,812 Glengoolie: for the best of times. 358 00:20:22,037 --> 00:20:22,748 Although you're right. 359 00:20:22,868 --> 00:20:24,926 It's probably not the smartest idea I've ever had. 360 00:20:25,046 --> 00:20:26,535 Hmm. What is? 361 00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:28,123 Oh my God, I'm glad you asked. 362 00:20:28,243 --> 00:20:31,314 Okay, so you put giant magnets in the bumpers of all the cars 363 00:20:31,434 --> 00:20:34,183 so that every car repels every other car 364 00:20:34,303 --> 00:20:36,385 so there would never be any accidents! 365 00:20:36,505 --> 00:20:38,618 Except every single time you're at a red light 366 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,838 and a car comes and bounces you out into the intersection 367 00:20:40,958 --> 00:20:43,118 and you get the shit T-boned out of ya. 368 00:20:45,804 --> 00:20:47,675 Thanks for the tampons. 369 00:20:48,674 --> 00:21:00,683 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net