1 00:00:00,570 --> 00:00:02,289 Before we begin, 2 00:00:02,375 --> 00:00:04,608 I want to make one thing perfectly clear to all of you. 3 00:00:04,677 --> 00:00:07,111 The information you're about to hear is top secret. 4 00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:10,014 Unauthorized publication or "leaking" of this information 5 00:00:10,083 --> 00:00:11,582 would be an act of high treason, 6 00:00:11,651 --> 00:00:13,150 for which you would be tried and convicted 7 00:00:13,219 --> 00:00:16,087 by a secret military tribunal and summarily executed. 8 00:00:16,155 --> 00:00:17,755 So no, Miss Poovey, 9 00:00:17,824 --> 00:00:19,824 I don't think a selfie would be appropriate. 10 00:00:19,892 --> 00:00:24,462 - Okay I'm not. Jesus. - Why is she even in this briefing? 11 00:00:24,530 --> 00:00:26,097 She's not allowed to go on missions. 12 00:00:26,165 --> 00:00:30,167 Because she always stows away somehow, as do Figgis and Dr. Krieger, 13 00:00:30,236 --> 00:00:32,703 and Julia gluey-Dreyfus over there. 14 00:00:32,772 --> 00:00:35,806 So this time they're going on the mission, so we can contain them. 15 00:00:35,875 --> 00:00:37,808 Well, unless the mission is a softball game 16 00:00:37,877 --> 00:00:40,611 - against Gary's olde town tavern... - No, it's... 17 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,146 in which case I nominate Ray Pitcher. 18 00:00:42,215 --> 00:00:44,482 - You know what? - Not because it's black. 19 00:00:44,550 --> 00:00:47,168 You know what? 20 00:00:47,169 --> 00:00:48,819 Lana, he's the one ashamed of his hand's heritage, not me. 21 00:00:48,825 --> 00:00:51,835 I'm not ashamed. 22 00:00:51,889 --> 00:00:55,302 Pssst, Ray. C-C-Call me. 23 00:00:55,309 --> 00:00:58,429 - Ooh, little "handingo" action. - Ahem. 24 00:00:58,498 --> 00:01:00,464 Time is a bit of a factor here, 25 00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:02,800 so as much as I'd like to spend the day murdering all of you, 26 00:01:02,869 --> 00:01:04,034 I'm afraid we need to press on. 27 00:01:04,103 --> 00:01:06,937 To wit, this is Dr. Zoltan Kovacs. 28 00:01:07,006 --> 00:01:08,706 Last night in Paris, someone... 29 00:01:08,775 --> 00:01:11,175 we suspect the Russians... attempted to abduct him. 30 00:01:11,244 --> 00:01:13,577 A high-speed chase ended in a crash, 31 00:01:13,646 --> 00:01:16,647 which left him in a coma with a blood clot in his brain. 32 00:01:16,716 --> 00:01:18,449 Which matters because? 33 00:01:18,518 --> 00:01:20,618 Because since defecting to the West 20 years ago, 34 00:01:20,686 --> 00:01:23,621 Dr. Kovacs has been developing a top-secret process 35 00:01:23,689 --> 00:01:25,222 for molecular miniaturization. 36 00:01:25,291 --> 00:01:26,957 Aren't they already pretty small? 37 00:01:27,026 --> 00:01:29,593 It doesn't miniaturize molecules. 38 00:01:29,662 --> 00:01:32,930 The process can miniaturize anything down to sub-microscopic size... 39 00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:35,800 robotics, computers, video cameras, vehicles, 40 00:01:35,852 --> 00:01:37,067 Even human beings. 41 00:01:37,136 --> 00:01:39,003 - But... - You maniacs! 42 00:01:39,071 --> 00:01:41,972 You stole it! You stole my idea! 43 00:01:43,643 --> 00:01:45,976 I've been working on miniaturization for years, 44 00:01:46,045 --> 00:01:49,480 - damn you, years! - Krieger, those were shrinky dinks. 45 00:01:49,549 --> 00:01:52,149 It's the same principle! 46 00:01:52,218 --> 00:01:54,852 It is absolutely not the same principle. 47 00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:57,621 Well... then I've wasted my life. 48 00:01:57,690 --> 00:01:59,423 And all of my good markers. 49 00:01:59,492 --> 00:02:03,527 But how does it work, this... process? 50 00:02:03,596 --> 00:02:05,162 You'll be given a cursory explanation 51 00:02:05,231 --> 00:02:07,998 - at the CIA laboratory in New Mexico. - Why? 52 00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:09,900 Well, I assume they needed a large building 53 00:02:09,969 --> 00:02:12,102 in a remote location with plenty of parking, 54 00:02:12,171 --> 00:02:14,472 and real estate is a lot cheaper out in the desert. 55 00:02:14,540 --> 00:02:18,008 - No, not why is the lab in New Mexico. - Why are you going to tell us 56 00:02:18,077 --> 00:02:20,478 how this super top-secret shrink ray works? 57 00:02:20,546 --> 00:02:25,049 Because in less than 14 hours, you're all going to be miniaturized 58 00:02:25,117 --> 00:02:29,587 down to the size of bacteria and injected into Dr. Kovacs. 59 00:02:29,588 --> 00:02:31,994 - Wait, what?! - Is that possible? 60 00:02:32,038 --> 00:02:34,225 What if we don't consent to be Dr. Shrinkered? 61 00:02:34,293 --> 00:02:36,093 Well there's a carrot and a stick here, 62 00:02:36,162 --> 00:02:39,864 the carrot being an one-time payment of $1,000,000 each. 63 00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:46,136 - And the stick? - The stick is this is your last chance. 64 00:02:46,205 --> 00:02:47,872 You people have bungled every assignment 65 00:02:47,940 --> 00:02:51,141 the CIA has given you, so if you refuse or fail this mission, 66 00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:53,711 I will personally ensure that none of you 67 00:02:53,779 --> 00:02:56,046 ever works in espionage again. 68 00:02:56,115 --> 00:02:57,448 - Ohh! - I'm just an assistant. 69 00:02:57,517 --> 00:03:00,518 - No likey. - Well it's normally the other way around, 70 00:03:00,586 --> 00:03:04,094 but this time, I think I definitely prefer the carrot. 71 00:03:04,228 --> 00:03:08,504 Not dick, Pam, stick. Carrot and stick! 72 00:03:08,505 --> 00:03:10,581 Yeah... I know. 73 00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:45,239 6x12 - Drastic Voyage, part 1 74 00:03:46,129 --> 00:03:49,041 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 75 00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:53,964 Okay people, listen up. 76 00:03:54,032 --> 00:03:56,700 We've got an enormous amount of information to cover 77 00:03:56,768 --> 00:03:58,134 in a very short time in which to do it, 78 00:03:58,203 --> 00:04:00,537 so your undivided attention is of the utmost... 79 00:04:00,606 --> 00:04:04,841 - Mr. Figgis, may I help you? - Yeah, is there any reason why you can't 80 00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:07,777 just do regular brain surgery without a shrink ray? 81 00:04:07,846 --> 00:04:11,715 Yes, there is. And, Mr. Archer, may I help you? 82 00:04:11,783 --> 00:04:14,718 Yeah, why the hell would this guy 83 00:04:14,786 --> 00:04:17,020 - have an oil can in his... - Elbow grease. 84 00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:19,856 Wow, it's pun for the whole family. 85 00:04:19,925 --> 00:04:21,191 That's racist! 86 00:04:21,259 --> 00:04:24,227 - You know what I don't have time for? - Mm, shopping for clothes? 87 00:04:24,296 --> 00:04:26,229 Your particular brand of bullshit. 88 00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:30,133 I was trying to familiarize myself with the human body, Slater. 89 00:04:30,202 --> 00:04:32,703 - Yeah, you know what this is? - Your best gal? 90 00:04:32,704 --> 00:04:34,738 - You son of a... - Slater! 91 00:04:34,806 --> 00:04:38,308 We do not have time for this. 92 00:04:38,377 --> 00:04:43,349 - After this is over, you and me. - Poop. 93 00:04:43,441 --> 00:04:46,640 Why do you constantly antagonize him? 94 00:04:46,641 --> 00:04:49,839 I... Oh my God! Cyril, are you jealous? 95 00:04:49,874 --> 00:04:52,520 - No, I'm... - I'm gonna make it up to you, buddy. 96 00:04:52,555 --> 00:04:53,917 - Oh please don't. - Archer! 97 00:04:53,952 --> 00:04:56,226 If you're done trying to win votes for class clown... 98 00:04:56,294 --> 00:04:58,061 More like most handsome. 99 00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,361 - I was voted best milker. - Me too. 100 00:05:00,396 --> 00:05:01,197 Ew. 101 00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:02,832 Please direct your attention 102 00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:06,069 to Dr. Kovacs' assistant, Dr. Sklodowska. 103 00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:08,638 - It's Sk-wuh-doh-fska. - I'm sorry. What'd I say? 104 00:05:08,707 --> 00:05:09,873 I don't know. Something else. 105 00:05:09,941 --> 00:05:11,541 Welcome, all of you, 106 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,843 and thank you for volunteering for this mission. 107 00:05:13,912 --> 00:05:17,280 - Albeit under threat of death. - Due to boredom. Come on! 108 00:05:17,349 --> 00:05:19,616 Let's get shrunked up already! 109 00:05:19,685 --> 00:05:21,117 First we need to cover some basics. 110 00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:25,155 Now as you may or may not know, Dr. Kovacs and I are lovers. 111 00:05:25,223 --> 00:05:27,190 If that is shocking to you, so be it. 112 00:05:27,259 --> 00:05:29,059 That's not shocking at all. 113 00:05:29,127 --> 00:05:31,127 This is Dr. Kovacs' brain, 114 00:05:31,196 --> 00:05:34,064 home to the greatest mind in the history of mankind, 115 00:05:34,132 --> 00:05:35,699 if not the universe. 116 00:05:35,767 --> 00:05:38,902 This is the blood clot that threatens to destroy that brain. 117 00:05:38,970 --> 00:05:42,072 But we will destroy the clot with the Nereus. 118 00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:44,074 Dibs on captain. Dibs on driving! 119 00:05:44,142 --> 00:05:47,677 You have dibs on neither. Mr. Gillette, who is a licensed pilot, 120 00:05:47,746 --> 00:05:49,245 will be piloting the Nereus. 121 00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:51,281 Oh so I'm good enough to drive y'all around? 122 00:05:51,349 --> 00:05:54,718 Great. Maybe on the way, we can stop off down the piggly wiggly. 123 00:05:54,786 --> 00:05:56,152 When this is over, 124 00:05:56,221 --> 00:05:58,154 I really think you and I should have a nice, long talk. 125 00:05:58,223 --> 00:06:01,558 - I'm sorry. Am I forgetting my place? - Little bit. 126 00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:04,027 After being miniaturized, the Nereus and its crew will... 127 00:06:04,096 --> 00:06:06,129 Yes, Mr. Archer? 128 00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:08,264 Yeah, I think I should at least be co-captain. 129 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,733 I've had astronaut training. 130 00:06:09,801 --> 00:06:12,569 - So what? So did I. - So did most of us. 131 00:06:12,637 --> 00:06:14,070 Yeah, but you sucked at it. 132 00:06:14,139 --> 00:06:16,172 You kept puking your guts out on the... 133 00:06:16,241 --> 00:06:17,540 - the... - Don't say it. 134 00:06:17,609 --> 00:06:19,676 the vomit comet. 135 00:06:19,745 --> 00:06:23,913 But I kicked total ass in zero gravity, so I think I should be in charge. 136 00:06:23,982 --> 00:06:25,281 What the hell are you talking about? 137 00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,617 I know how to do it... be weightless. 138 00:06:27,686 --> 00:06:29,780 - So? - So when we're floating 139 00:06:29,813 --> 00:06:31,888 around in this Kovacs guy, in the submarine... 140 00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:33,790 Have you ever seen a submarine movie? 141 00:06:33,859 --> 00:06:36,693 Oh my god, "Operation Petticoat," 142 00:06:36,762 --> 00:06:38,595 "Das Boot," "The enemy below," 143 00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:41,664 "Run silent, run deep", uh... "Gray lady down..." 144 00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:43,967 - Ooh, "Yellow sub..." - "Yellow submarine," yes! 145 00:06:44,035 --> 00:06:46,302 Wow, there's so many submarine movies. 146 00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:51,775 And in any of them was anyone on board any submarine weightless? 147 00:06:51,843 --> 00:06:53,910 ...fat joke? 148 00:06:53,979 --> 00:06:56,212 Yeah, plus that time we were all on a submarine 149 00:06:56,281 --> 00:06:59,906 - and were not weightless? - Oh, right. 150 00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:03,621 Uh, but this time we're gonna be tiny. 151 00:07:03,622 --> 00:07:06,390 After being miniaturized the Nereus with the mission 152 00:07:06,391 --> 00:07:09,159 team onboard will be injected into Dr. Kovacs here, 153 00:07:09,227 --> 00:07:11,294 as close to the blood clot as possible. 154 00:07:11,363 --> 00:07:14,564 This is because we only have exactly 60 minutes 155 00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:17,634 before the process wears off and we revert to normal size. 156 00:07:17,702 --> 00:07:19,202 Sixty minutes exactly? 157 00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:21,171 Yes, I feel like I was very clear on that. 158 00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:23,273 Our progress will be tracked in real time 159 00:07:23,341 --> 00:07:25,241 - on a 3-D map of the human body... - Ta-da! 160 00:07:26,678 --> 00:07:28,278 Oh my god, Slim Goodbody. 161 00:07:28,346 --> 00:07:32,248 No! No, this is absolutely not that trademark character. 162 00:07:32,317 --> 00:07:35,018 - This is... - Michael? Oh my god. 163 00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:39,155 Just a unitard with the systems of the human body on it. 164 00:07:39,224 --> 00:07:42,445 - On a guy. - On a guy named TV's Michael Gray. 165 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,094 - What? - Earballs! Jesus! 166 00:07:45,163 --> 00:07:47,330 I see I have some fans in the audience. 167 00:07:47,399 --> 00:07:49,666 - Are you kidding? - Are you? 168 00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:51,634 Lana, it's TV's Michael Gray. 169 00:07:51,703 --> 00:07:54,103 Billy Batson, from "the Shazam/Isis hour?" 170 00:07:54,172 --> 00:07:55,905 Well, and "the Brian Keith show." 171 00:07:55,974 --> 00:07:58,541 Obviously in "the Brian Keith show." 172 00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:01,611 - Who is Brian Keith? - Now you're just trying to piss me off. 173 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,746 So what's up? W-What have you been doing? 174 00:08:03,815 --> 00:08:08,051 - As you see, my good sir. - Uh... CIA puppet shows? 175 00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:13,621 - Act-ting, you philistine. - Michael, what are you doing here? 176 00:08:13,668 --> 00:08:15,658 - I... - How did he even get on the base? 177 00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:18,561 - He said he knew you. - You let an unauthorized civilian 178 00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:21,598 onto a CIA black site just because he said he knew me? 179 00:08:21,666 --> 00:08:24,000 Well plus, he is TV's Michael Gray. 180 00:08:24,069 --> 00:08:26,336 And as you may or may not know, 181 00:08:26,404 --> 00:08:28,171 TV's Michael Gray and I were lovers. 182 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,106 If that is shocking to you, so be it. 183 00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:31,741 No. I get it. 184 00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,576 I think maybe you're confusing 185 00:08:33,645 --> 00:08:35,712 - the word, "shocking" with the word... - This! 186 00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:38,615 - This is shocking! - No, that's just gross. 187 00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:40,683 Which is also the word I think you're looking for 188 00:08:40,752 --> 00:08:43,753 - with your old man fetish. - Aw come on, they're not so... 189 00:08:43,822 --> 00:08:45,889 That one doesn't even have skin! 190 00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:49,058 Okay if everyone will follow me into the miniaturization chamber, 191 00:08:49,127 --> 00:08:50,727 we will now begin boarding the Nereus. 192 00:08:50,795 --> 00:08:52,528 Whoa. Wait. Already? 193 00:08:52,597 --> 00:08:54,264 Yeah. Shouldn't we learn a little more about 194 00:08:54,332 --> 00:08:57,166 - the mission parameters? - Oh you absolutely should! 195 00:08:57,235 --> 00:08:58,902 But we're behind schedule, thanks to... 196 00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:02,038 - TV's Michael Gray. - Whoo! 197 00:09:02,107 --> 00:09:06,542 - And... - Scene! Yes. We get it, Michael. 198 00:09:06,611 --> 00:09:11,560 Scene! No, you ruined it. 199 00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:17,102 Miniaturization will begin in 60 minutes. 200 00:09:17,171 --> 00:09:19,071 Okay people, you heard the lady. 201 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:20,639 We've got no time to lose, so here are your mission assignments. 202 00:09:20,691 --> 00:09:22,207 - Archer... - Captain! 203 00:09:22,276 --> 00:09:25,577 No you're not. Gillette is the pilot, and Cyril is the co-pilot. 204 00:09:25,646 --> 00:09:27,146 Well we'll see about that. 205 00:09:27,214 --> 00:09:30,249 Go see about that. Okay. Pam and crazy glue, 206 00:09:30,318 --> 00:09:32,184 your job is to stay out of everybody's way, 207 00:09:32,253 --> 00:09:34,153 so maybe go do that in the rear. 208 00:09:34,221 --> 00:09:35,654 What, like, butt-sex? 209 00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:38,791 - Of the ship. - Well let's keep an open mind. 210 00:09:38,859 --> 00:09:40,426 And a closed mouth. How about that? 211 00:09:40,494 --> 00:09:42,561 - Mmm. - Just go. 212 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:45,297 Okay. Lana, you think you can help Dr. Sklodowska 213 00:09:45,366 --> 00:09:48,434 - with the navigation? - Well I did get an "A" in college biology. 214 00:09:48,502 --> 00:09:51,838 Oh wow, great. So when we're traversing the occipital lobe, 215 00:09:51,839 --> 00:09:55,174 you'll know what to do if the ship is in imminent danger 216 00:09:55,242 --> 00:09:59,511 of phagocytosis by polymorphonuclear leukocytes? 217 00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:03,126 It actually might've been an A-minus. 218 00:10:03,284 --> 00:10:05,250 Okay maybe just help Archer with the laser 219 00:10:05,319 --> 00:10:07,219 - if he ever gets... out here. - Ow! 220 00:10:07,288 --> 00:10:08,687 You two head up to the laser turret 221 00:10:08,756 --> 00:10:11,357 and get acquainted with that bad boy. 222 00:10:11,425 --> 00:10:13,199 Jesus H. Christ, Ray! 223 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,782 Speaking of "H", do you see me in a sort of 224 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:18,365 Leonard H. Bones McCoy type of role, or... 225 00:10:18,432 --> 00:10:20,799 - Meaning? - Irascible on-board medical officer. 226 00:10:20,868 --> 00:10:25,237 - Mm yeah, I wouldn't say on-board. - Oh man! 227 00:10:25,306 --> 00:10:29,441 So not only am I not going to tiny town, now I have to execute a guy? 228 00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:32,111 - What are you talking about? - This big, meaty bastard right here. 229 00:10:32,179 --> 00:10:36,115 - What are we doing, lethal injection? - Are you... this is Dr. Kovacs. 230 00:10:36,183 --> 00:10:39,034 - This is? Are you sure? - Yes. 231 00:10:39,069 --> 00:10:41,053 Because even a first-year phrenology student 232 00:10:41,122 --> 00:10:46,225 could see that this man... is a cold-blooded murderer. 233 00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:49,061 Phrenology? Who are you, George Combe? 234 00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:50,729 Man, I wish. 235 00:10:50,798 --> 00:10:53,399 Because now I probably have nerve damage. 236 00:10:54,535 --> 00:10:57,369 I've decided to let Ray drive. 237 00:10:57,438 --> 00:11:00,506 With his racist robot monster hand! 238 00:11:00,574 --> 00:11:04,309 Hand, legs, feet. I am a monster! 239 00:11:04,378 --> 00:11:07,546 Oh now... come on. You're not a monster, 240 00:11:07,615 --> 00:11:10,382 you're just different. Come on. It could be a lot worse. 241 00:11:10,451 --> 00:11:12,284 - How?! - Well I guess the hand, 242 00:11:12,353 --> 00:11:15,254 or the tissue covering the bionic part, it would be, I guess. 243 00:11:15,322 --> 00:11:17,256 You know, could've come from a serial killer. 244 00:11:17,324 --> 00:11:20,025 And then one day soon, maybe you're shaving, 245 00:11:20,094 --> 00:11:22,594 and you find out it has a mind of its own. 246 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,292 It's a force of pure evil, 247 00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:27,516 and it starts dragging you out into the city at night. 248 00:11:27,601 --> 00:11:30,602 Just cats at first. But once the hand gets a taste for killing, 249 00:11:30,688 --> 00:11:32,738 it's only a matter of time before you're out there 250 00:11:32,773 --> 00:11:35,574 strangling male prostitutes, and then posing them 251 00:11:35,643 --> 00:11:39,044 in grotesque and horrific parodies of Mentos ads. 252 00:11:39,113 --> 00:11:41,580 You know, the freshmaker. 253 00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:45,317 In which case, I guess try to remember 254 00:11:45,386 --> 00:11:50,656 - I was always kind to you. - Not always. 255 00:11:50,724 --> 00:11:54,526 Miniaturization will begin in 30 minutes. 256 00:11:54,595 --> 00:11:57,496 And besides, I don't think Ray's hand is the one that's racist. 257 00:11:57,565 --> 00:11:59,131 - Shock. Nothing. - What? 258 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,632 So, listen. 259 00:12:00,701 --> 00:12:04,603 - I can't. I'm swiveling. - Yes you can, Archer. 260 00:12:04,672 --> 00:12:06,438 I need to talk to you about something important. 261 00:12:06,507 --> 00:12:09,642 Lana, what's more important than blasting 262 00:12:09,643 --> 00:12:12,778 imaginary womp rats in my imaginary T-16 back home? 263 00:12:12,847 --> 00:12:16,315 - Your infant daughter. - Oh right. Sorry. What's up? 264 00:12:16,383 --> 00:12:20,085 Well A: this mission feels fairly dangerous and totally half-cocked. 265 00:12:20,154 --> 00:12:22,254 That's normally cock aplenty. 266 00:12:22,323 --> 00:12:24,490 Shut up. And what if Kovacs dies, 267 00:12:24,558 --> 00:12:26,926 and the CIA disavows us, and we're blacklisted 268 00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:29,801 - from intelligence work? - I'd have a lot more free time? 269 00:12:29,802 --> 00:12:34,689 So your entire career, your entire personal identity as a spy gone. 270 00:12:34,718 --> 00:12:37,662 - Maybe I finally learn to fly fish. - That's great, Archer. 271 00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:40,739 - What if we die? - I'd have a lot more free time? 272 00:12:40,808 --> 00:12:44,143 Well if we do die, I just want to reiterate that my 273 00:12:44,144 --> 00:12:47,479 parents are gonna be A.J.'s legal guardians, not Malory. 274 00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:51,517 Okay. A: you've made that hurtfully clear about a jillion times. 275 00:12:51,585 --> 00:12:55,754 B: Ava Jean could do a lot worse for a guardian. 276 00:12:55,823 --> 00:12:57,368 Really? 277 00:12:57,825 --> 00:12:59,658 Jesus Christ! 278 00:12:59,727 --> 00:13:01,693 I-I'm sorry. I didn't see the child. 279 00:13:01,762 --> 00:13:04,663 Hmm? Oh she's fine. She's used to it. 280 00:13:04,732 --> 00:13:07,799 - Really? - "Then the mama bear said, 281 00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:11,036 "'well somebody's been eating my porridge.' 282 00:13:11,105 --> 00:13:14,640 - And then the baby bear said... " - Are you out of your goddamn mind? 283 00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:15,807 - What? - What? 284 00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:19,738 - I just had the drapes cleaned! - And then papa bear said, 285 00:13:19,773 --> 00:13:22,314 "Yeah? You just keep it up because this town is crawling 286 00:13:22,383 --> 00:13:26,051 with goldilockses with hot, young bodies and daddy issues." 287 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,467 Exactly. 288 00:13:27,468 --> 00:13:30,556 Like what's-her-face at work. 289 00:13:30,624 --> 00:13:32,524 Debbie, yeah. 290 00:13:32,593 --> 00:13:34,393 And as far as I'm concerned, 291 00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:36,628 the sooner she learns about cigarettes, the better. 292 00:13:36,697 --> 00:13:39,649 This little pudge-pop's going to need all the help 293 00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:42,601 she can get in the battle of the Bulge. 294 00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:46,305 And C: even if, god forbid something happens to you, 295 00:13:46,373 --> 00:13:49,741 - I'm gonna be fine. - So if, say, there's a malfunction 296 00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:52,595 with the shrink ray and the ship, and everything in it 297 00:13:52,596 --> 00:13:55,380 - gets vaporized? - I'd just jump out at the last second. 298 00:13:55,449 --> 00:13:59,184 While every single atom and molecule in your body is being destroyed? 299 00:13:59,253 --> 00:14:01,873 Uh, no. I already jumped out. 300 00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:04,456 It's this new thing called cat-like reflexes? 301 00:14:04,525 --> 00:14:07,759 So can you seriously not even grasp the concept of your own mortality? 302 00:14:07,828 --> 00:14:10,596 - Lana, nobody can. - Really? 303 00:14:10,664 --> 00:14:12,798 Except maybe bears. 304 00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:15,767 So will you do everyone a favor and relax for once? 305 00:14:15,836 --> 00:14:17,669 Nothing bad's gonna... 306 00:14:19,139 --> 00:14:21,306 Sorry, gang! 307 00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:23,242 My bad. That was on me. 308 00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:26,745 Hey, somebody roll that guy around. He's... smoldering. 309 00:14:26,814 --> 00:14:28,247 Miniaturization in... 310 00:14:28,315 --> 00:14:30,310 - You were saying? - I don't know. 311 00:14:30,345 --> 00:14:31,683 ten minutes. 312 00:14:31,752 --> 00:14:33,418 Probably something about Paris. 313 00:14:36,481 --> 00:14:39,982 Miniaturization in five minutes. 314 00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:41,317 Roger that, mission control. 315 00:14:41,386 --> 00:14:42,952 Navigation systems are online. 316 00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:45,287 We are ready for miniaturization process. 317 00:14:45,356 --> 00:14:46,489 Copy that, navigation. 318 00:14:46,557 --> 00:14:49,558 Bridge is online and we are ready for miniaturization process, over. 319 00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:53,262 - Said your dick. - That would mean it's too big, dummy, 320 00:14:53,331 --> 00:14:55,231 and so it's ready to be made smaller. 321 00:14:55,299 --> 00:14:56,966 Damn it. 322 00:14:57,035 --> 00:14:59,168 Turret, are you ready to begin miniaturization? Over. 323 00:14:59,237 --> 00:15:01,886 Yes, if... Lana, you good? 324 00:15:02,006 --> 00:15:06,242 - Yes. - We'll be fine, all right? 325 00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:11,195 - A.J. will be fine. - Just remember what we talked about. 326 00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:13,282 You already forgot. 327 00:15:13,351 --> 00:15:15,384 Bears. Turret ready. 328 00:15:15,453 --> 00:15:17,853 Roger that, stupid. You guys ready to make history? 329 00:15:17,922 --> 00:15:19,321 I'm ready to make a million dollars. 330 00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:22,158 Close enough. Okay, let's light this candle. 331 00:15:22,226 --> 00:15:24,560 What are you doing? 332 00:15:24,629 --> 00:15:27,596 - He said light the candle. - Not an ear candle! 333 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,266 Well you won't bleed him, you won't cup him, 334 00:15:30,334 --> 00:15:33,102 you won't divine his humors. For all you charlatans know, 335 00:15:33,171 --> 00:15:36,238 this poor man is both phlegmatic and bilious. 336 00:15:36,307 --> 00:15:38,407 - Get out. - Gladly! 337 00:15:39,844 --> 00:15:43,079 So, hey, do I need to swipe a keycard, or... 338 00:15:43,147 --> 00:15:47,450 Ow! Paging Dr. Dickwads. 339 00:15:51,305 --> 00:15:54,957 All clear. Commence initialization sequence. 340 00:15:55,026 --> 00:15:56,158 All clear. 341 00:15:59,981 --> 00:16:01,579 Mission control, this is Nereus. 342 00:16:01,614 --> 00:16:03,332 We are ready for miniaturization, over. 343 00:16:03,401 --> 00:16:08,287 - Speak for yourself, holy shrink-snacks. - Yeah, this is kind of terrifying. 344 00:16:08,372 --> 00:16:10,372 So why are you messing around with this crazy shrink ray? 345 00:16:10,408 --> 00:16:13,943 - It's not like you need a million bucks. - Wh... Are you kidding? 346 00:16:13,944 --> 00:16:15,611 It's not about the money. 347 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:19,935 Pam, we are going on a voyage of medical discovery unparalleled 348 00:16:19,975 --> 00:16:24,523 in not only the history of mankind but also perhaps its future. 349 00:16:24,524 --> 00:16:27,556 Hippocrates, Galen, Percival, Sharpe. 350 00:16:27,592 --> 00:16:30,092 For thousands of years, physicians have dreamed 351 00:16:30,178 --> 00:16:33,345 of having the power to see what we've been given the chance to 352 00:16:33,431 --> 00:16:36,899 through this truly awe-inspiring process of miniaturization, 353 00:16:36,968 --> 00:16:38,400 which I think you'll agree, 354 00:16:38,469 --> 00:16:41,337 is the very embodiment of Arthur C. Clarke's third law, 355 00:16:41,405 --> 00:16:44,824 which states that any sufficiently advanced technology 356 00:16:44,909 --> 00:16:46,876 is indistinguishable from magic. 357 00:16:46,944 --> 00:16:50,479 Or, if you like, a miracle. 358 00:16:50,548 --> 00:16:52,308 - I... - Plus I'm going to use the money 359 00:16:52,309 --> 00:16:54,963 to buy an orphanage, and then bulldoze it. 360 00:16:54,975 --> 00:16:58,287 - Why? - Shits and grins... and screams. 361 00:16:58,372 --> 00:17:02,124 Wah, porridge, wah... 362 00:17:03,461 --> 00:17:05,211 Well maybe she'll die. 363 00:17:05,296 --> 00:17:07,897 Commence miniaturization in ten... 364 00:17:08,966 --> 00:17:11,367 - Nine... Eight... - Lana? 365 00:17:11,435 --> 00:17:13,369 - Seven... Six... - Lana, calm down. 366 00:17:13,437 --> 00:17:15,638 - Five... Four... - You're making me really hard. 367 00:17:15,706 --> 00:17:17,840 - Three... Two... - Goddamn, dude. 368 00:17:17,909 --> 00:17:18,808 One. 369 00:17:31,022 --> 00:17:32,321 Wait. What happened? 370 00:17:35,993 --> 00:17:38,427 - It-It's gone. Hang on. 371 00:17:40,965 --> 00:17:42,565 Mission control to Nereus, over. 372 00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:45,401 This is Nereus, control. 373 00:17:45,469 --> 00:17:47,236 How wonderful. 374 00:17:47,305 --> 00:17:49,038 Miniaturization complete, over. 375 00:17:49,106 --> 00:17:52,575 - Whoo! - Oh my god. 376 00:17:52,643 --> 00:17:56,078 Time. 377 00:17:56,147 --> 00:17:59,014 Okay, people, we have one hour to save Dr. Kovacs. 378 00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:01,584 And then hopefully a lifetime to be with him. 379 00:18:01,652 --> 00:18:04,211 Once he leaves Hilda. 380 00:18:04,438 --> 00:18:05,988 Control, I think we're ready to start 381 00:18:06,023 --> 00:18:08,824 - transport and injection, over. - Roger that, Nereus. 382 00:18:11,095 --> 00:18:14,430 - So, should we be steering, or... - Shh! 383 00:18:14,498 --> 00:18:17,933 Okay. Now the submarine is in a saline solution 384 00:18:18,002 --> 00:18:21,303 in the syringe, which the robot will now gently transport 385 00:18:21,372 --> 00:18:22,905 into the surgical theater, 386 00:18:22,974 --> 00:18:25,374 where it will prepare to inject the solution 387 00:18:25,459 --> 00:18:29,178 into the cerebrospinal fluid at the base of Dr. Kovacs' skull. 388 00:18:30,348 --> 00:18:33,949 - We're not weightless! - Why not? 389 00:18:34,018 --> 00:18:36,176 And since we only have... 390 00:18:37,089 --> 00:18:40,197 59 minutes-ish until the Nereus reverts to normal size. 391 00:18:40,198 --> 00:18:44,860 It is crucial that the injection be as close to the blood clot as humanly... 392 00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:47,062 well, robotically possible, I guess. 393 00:18:47,131 --> 00:18:50,332 We're looking good down here, control. All lined up on the injection site. 394 00:18:50,401 --> 00:18:52,501 Roger that. Nereus, are you ready? 395 00:18:53,571 --> 00:18:56,572 Ugh! Yes! Let's get this over with! 396 00:18:56,641 --> 00:18:59,311 You are a go for injection, doctor. 397 00:19:03,514 --> 00:19:06,415 Preparing to inject. 398 00:19:06,484 --> 00:19:09,218 So should there be screaming? 399 00:19:09,287 --> 00:19:12,354 Shh! Control, we're hearing some screaming. 400 00:19:12,423 --> 00:19:15,557 Which... what's the story on that? 401 00:19:15,626 --> 00:19:20,296 What in the name of sweet jiminy Christ do you think you're doing? 402 00:19:20,364 --> 00:19:24,066 Standing up for myself! Because maybe I didn't go to some 403 00:19:24,135 --> 00:19:26,869 fancy-pantsy Ivy League med school, 404 00:19:26,938 --> 00:19:29,471 and maybe I didn't go to some other med school, 405 00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:31,006 even the one down in Grenada, 406 00:19:31,075 --> 00:19:33,275 which was my fallback, but whatever. 407 00:19:33,344 --> 00:19:35,978 That doesn't give you the right to bully me. 408 00:19:36,047 --> 00:19:40,416 I have had it! Oh, and by the way, 409 00:19:40,484 --> 00:19:43,886 if I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, 410 00:19:43,955 --> 00:19:47,389 wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler? 411 00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:49,558 - Huh. I never thought about that. - Doctor? 412 00:19:49,627 --> 00:19:51,493 - What? - Not you. 413 00:19:51,562 --> 00:19:54,930 Doctor, please tell me that Nereus was injected into Kovacs? 414 00:19:54,999 --> 00:19:56,498 - It was. - Whew, okay. 415 00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:58,233 So we're still okay. 416 00:19:58,302 --> 00:20:00,169 I'm sorry. I should've finished that thought. 417 00:20:00,237 --> 00:20:04,073 It was injected into Dr. Kovacs, but not at the injection site. 418 00:20:04,141 --> 00:20:07,843 - What? Well then, where is it? - His foot. 419 00:20:07,912 --> 00:20:10,846 Wow. Now I feel like Dr. Dickwads. 420 00:20:10,915 --> 00:20:13,549 Krieger, shut up! And you, get them out of there. 421 00:20:13,617 --> 00:20:16,285 We can't. They're way too small. 422 00:20:16,354 --> 00:20:19,088 They'll just have to make it to his tear duct like we planned. 423 00:20:19,156 --> 00:20:20,856 Is there enough time to make it to the clot, 424 00:20:20,925 --> 00:20:24,860 - laser it, and still escape? - I mean, it will be close, but maybe. 425 00:20:24,929 --> 00:20:29,732 Damn it! So do we tell them? 426 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,435 Well they'll find out soon enough. And in the meantime, 427 00:20:33,504 --> 00:20:36,438 I'm sure Sterling has everything well in hand. 428 00:20:38,459 --> 00:20:40,719 Goddamn it. 429 00:20:42,731 --> 00:20:46,280 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net