1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,240 So you want me to answer that or...? 3 00:00:47,270 --> 00:00:49,010 No, I'll get it. 4 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,840 It was probably the cops again. 5 00:00:50,870 --> 00:00:53,510 Really? You think so? 6 00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:55,680 I do. 7 00:00:55,710 --> 00:00:59,080 My plan is in shambles! 8 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,850 So, hey, listen... 9 00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:05,090 I know, right? 10 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,890 He just soaks me. 11 00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,690 Maybe we should... Y-You know, 12 00:01:09,730 --> 00:01:12,530 you should cut your losses and surrender. 13 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,770 I mean, you haven't really hurt anybody. 14 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,700 No, not yet, Mr.... Shapiro, was it? 15 00:01:18,740 --> 00:01:21,710 So glad you could rejoin us. Take him somewhere. 16 00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:23,830 Maybe there's a workshop with pliers, a car battery... 17 00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:28,080 And find out where Veronica Deane is with that damn necklace! 18 00:01:28,110 --> 00:01:30,380 Well, she's not in the basement. 19 00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:32,880 - Or in the attic. - Or in the refrigerator. 20 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,550 Why would she be in the refrigerator? 21 00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:36,390 I don't know. You said look everywhere. 22 00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:38,120 - Yeah, he's right. You did. - That does sound like you. 23 00:01:38,150 --> 00:01:39,720 Come on, ya rat shyster. Move it. 24 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,430 But I don't know where she... 25 00:01:41,460 --> 00:01:44,900 - Come on! - I'm sorry. How rude of me. 26 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,060 Would anyone else like to join Mr. Shapiro? 27 00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:50,740 But I would like to call my babysitter. 28 00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:52,940 - Too bad! - Could we at least use the bathroom? 29 00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,940 You just went! 30 00:01:55,970 --> 00:01:57,780 That was, like, four hours ago! 31 00:01:57,810 --> 00:01:59,480 No, it was... 32 00:02:01,510 --> 00:02:03,250 Oh, my God! 33 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,320 I'm so turned on, I think I'm actually getting dehydrated. 34 00:02:05,350 --> 00:02:08,250 When this is over, remind me to kick your tits off. 35 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,790 No. 36 00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:12,660 Split them up, men and women. 37 00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:14,590 All right. You have five minutes. 38 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,760 Mr. Nurple and Mr. Giggles will escort you. 39 00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:21,100 And so help me God, if you people try anything... 40 00:02:21,130 --> 00:02:25,100 Uh, yeah. Uh, then what do you want us to do? 41 00:02:25,130 --> 00:02:26,440 Wh... Reprisals! 42 00:02:26,470 --> 00:02:28,640 Swift and brutal reprisals! 43 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:31,140 That was clearly implied! 44 00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:34,280 Where are you, Veronica Deane? 45 00:02:34,310 --> 00:02:37,110 And where the hell is Pinky Brewster? 46 00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:39,620 So, good news and bad news. 47 00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:42,120 Bad news is, the doors and windows are hermetically sealed, 48 00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:44,790 there's six gunmen out there whose leader is insane, 49 00:02:44,820 --> 00:02:47,960 a jumpy SWAT team dying to go full-on Attica, 50 00:02:47,990 --> 00:02:50,130 and a room full of hostages, one of whom... 51 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,700 which I guess shouldn't surprise me, 52 00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:54,170 but somehow still does... has coulrophilia. 53 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,630 - Cool what? - Coulrophilia. Apparently, 54 00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:58,800 it's a sexual attraction to clowns. 55 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,470 Good news is, I got you the last slice of pepperoni and mushroom. 56 00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:04,470 That's the good news. 57 00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:06,710 I mean... 58 00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:09,310 relatively. 59 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:45,160 Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - www.Addic7ed.com - 60 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,420 Okay, so the doors and windows are sealed. 61 00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:51,510 You got six or seven of these mopes 62 00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:53,220 in there, dressed as clowns. 63 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:55,030 And they let most of the hostages go. 64 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,930 But so far, they've made no demands. 65 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,530 I mean, just pizza, but... 66 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,100 And you were in charge here? 67 00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:01,770 Yeah, I... Wait. What do you mean "were"? 68 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,270 It's the past tense of "are." 69 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,100 Yeah. You're relieved, gnome-nuts. Gimme that. 70 00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:07,940 - Yeah, or I could hold it, or... - I'm sorry. Who are you guys? 71 00:04:07,970 --> 00:04:09,410 The guys who haven't been standing around 72 00:04:09,430 --> 00:04:10,870 all night with their dicks in their hands 73 00:04:10,910 --> 00:04:12,740 while a simple hostage negotiation 74 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,880 spirals into a televised cluster-fluck. 75 00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:16,750 - Phone. Let's go. - Well, we just tried to call them, 76 00:04:16,780 --> 00:04:18,740 - but then we heard a gunshot, so... - Gimme that. 77 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:20,420 Or I could hold that one, maybe. 78 00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:22,220 Now, if you think you're up to the task, 79 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,250 go negotiate us some coffee. 80 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:26,120 And while you're at it, negotiate 81 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,890 my coffee as a cold-brew, iced! 82 00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:29,490 It's got, like, a third of the acid, 83 00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:30,930 which is easier on Mr. Tum-Tums. 84 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,260 Now, you listen to me, pig! 85 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:35,900 If I want to talk, I will call you. 86 00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:37,970 In the meantime, every time the phone rings, 87 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,320 I will execute a hostage and shove 88 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,310 their limp and bloody corpse 89 00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:45,410 off the roof, on live television! 90 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,610 Is that clear? 91 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,480 Yep. 92 00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:51,920 Well, how'd it go? 93 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:53,820 Not great! 94 00:04:53,850 --> 00:04:56,590 - Well, how'd it go? - Not great. 95 00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:58,620 - Not you! - Not great, though. 96 00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:01,490 - Yeah, we kicked the shit out of him. - So embarrassing. 97 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,220 So, pretty sure he honestly has 98 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,130 no idea where Veronica Deane is. 99 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,960 I hate to say it, but I believe you. 100 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,830 Shame it took us an entire spleen to get here. 101 00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:13,640 - Shut up. Do you think emeralds melt? - Why? 102 00:05:13,670 --> 00:05:15,250 Because I'm about to burn this damn 103 00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:18,140 house down and sift through the ashes. 104 00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:20,850 So, please, can you just go find us a way out of here? 105 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,160 Don't worry. I'm gonna get 106 00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:23,680 you out, one way or another. 107 00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:26,140 In the meantime, maybe I should hold on to the Tsarina. 108 00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:26,950 Why? 109 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,450 In case those assholes find you in here. 110 00:05:28,490 --> 00:05:30,320 It's our only bargaining chip. 111 00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:31,960 All right. But please hurry. 112 00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:35,660 I... I really need to use the restroom. 113 00:05:35,690 --> 00:05:37,690 Yeah. Sorry. I've been giving that some thought, 114 00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:40,300 - and if I were you... - Yes? 115 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:43,130 - Desk drawer. - Ugh! 116 00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:44,970 Oh, my God! 117 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,340 I hope you're not on septic. 118 00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:48,340 Ugh! Have you no decency, man? 119 00:05:48,370 --> 00:05:51,310 We said only number ones, Krieger! 120 00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:54,050 - I never agreed to that. - Yes, you absolutely did! 121 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,710 - Well? - Well, what? 122 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:58,180 Well, what's the plan? To escape! 123 00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,970 Impossible! Unless we can override 124 00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:01,820 the controls for these panic doors. 125 00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:03,520 Which... Why do you even have those? 126 00:06:03,550 --> 00:06:05,490 Well, I've made a lot of enemies in this town. 127 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,820 But I think we should do what these people say. They're unhinged. 128 00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:09,530 If we try to escape, they'll kill us. 129 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,160 - Yeah. Plus, let Archer handle it. - Wait. Let who? 130 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,070 Archer, one of my detectives. He's... 131 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,030 He's probably sneaking around out there, as we speak, 132 00:06:16,070 --> 00:06:18,500 snapping necks and cramming ears full of ice picks. 133 00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,670 Oh, please! 134 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,170 The only thing Archer's cramming is a very average-sized dick 135 00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:25,380 into Veronica Deane's very old twatch. 136 00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:26,880 What are you talking about? 137 00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:28,380 He was totally making out with her, Malory, 138 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,180 in front of God and everybody! 139 00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:32,520 - Oh. Well, even if he was... - Which he was! 140 00:06:32,550 --> 00:06:34,460 I'm sure it was only because you were 141 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,220 throwing yourself at Ellis Crane. 142 00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:37,390 What? 143 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,920 Suck it, Bechdel Test. 144 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,090 You suck it, missy! And even though 145 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,500 you were flirting with Crane 146 00:06:42,530 --> 00:06:44,060 - like a D-girl wannabe... - What? 147 00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:45,870 You know Sterling is somewhere in this 148 00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:48,370 house, risking his life to save ours. 149 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,370 In fact, I bet he's already taken out a clown, 150 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,940 put on his clothes and mask, and infiltrated the enemy. 151 00:06:53,970 --> 00:06:56,710 Five minutes is up. Let's go! 152 00:06:56,740 --> 00:06:58,910 - Oh, for God's sake! - Ugh, wasn't done! 153 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:03,210 Hmm? Infiltrated the enemy, huh? 154 00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:04,720 The what? 155 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:07,720 Enema! Just talking about enemas, and, uh, 156 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,790 how clean and fresh they make you feel. 157 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,220 I mean, not you, per se, but people, 158 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:12,400 ya know, in general, I guess. 159 00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:13,840 And kids, also, maybe. I don't know 160 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:15,090 what kids are into these days. 161 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,430 Are whippits still a thing? Point is... 162 00:07:17,460 --> 00:07:19,160 shitter's clogged! 163 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,440 Okay, so 164 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,980 first I need to stash the Tsarina, which... 165 00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:33,680 ha-ha, ho-ho-ho... 166 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,950 don't know what I was expecting. 167 00:07:35,980 --> 00:07:38,850 Okay, now to see if I can override the security system 168 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:40,660 and get those steel doors open. 169 00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:42,620 Okay, okay, so, then, let me throw this out there 170 00:07:42,660 --> 00:07:45,830 and see if the cat licks it up: we cut the power. 171 00:07:45,860 --> 00:07:48,300 - To the house... - Zerp! 172 00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:51,130 And, by extension, then, the steel doors. 173 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,640 Oh, right. They are electric. 174 00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:54,970 Yeah, so do you and kitty wanna lick me 175 00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:56,200 through how that's supposed to work? 176 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,140 And so, now, what was your idea? 177 00:07:58,170 --> 00:08:00,640 Two squads of six, breach formation, 178 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,430 shape charges on steel doors here and here, 179 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,880 detonate, ingress, take out hostiles 180 00:08:05,910 --> 00:08:08,380 with flash-bangs, and/or beanbags, 181 00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:10,090 secure the friendlies, achieve 182 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,820 egress, drop mic. We're out. 183 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,090 Yeah. The second you blow the doors, 184 00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:14,220 they're gonna execute everybody. 185 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,150 Which is the tactical equivalent of 186 00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:17,990 a cat puking on your duvet cover. 187 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:21,160 Come on. Let's go. Here we go. Move it, move it, move it. 188 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,200 Let's go, ladies. Move it, move it, move it. Let's go! 189 00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:27,340 Hang on. I got a big old wad of toilet paper stuck on my shoe. 190 00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:29,040 - Ugh! - Seriously. 191 00:08:29,070 --> 00:08:32,210 And I really need to check in with my babysitter, so... 192 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,010 - Typical. - Shut up. 193 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,710 Make me. Ow! 194 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,380 Hey, knock it off, you two! 195 00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:39,210 Damn it! I said knock it off! 196 00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:40,550 Make me. Ow! 197 00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,590 Okay! Jesus! 198 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,020 Ooh! Looks so good! 199 00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:47,060 Well... 200 00:08:47,090 --> 00:08:49,860 hope I'm not allergic to clown blood. 201 00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:53,030 - S'up, ding-dong? - Wh... Why the hell are you in here? 202 00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:56,570 I heard you were getting your ass beat. 203 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,530 Oh, for the... 204 00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,700 What is this, NORAD? 205 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,570 Damn it. You'd have to be, like... 206 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,740 Ray! 207 00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:05,210 Hang on. I had something for... 208 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,040 Was it Ain't-Two-Dee-Two? 209 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,950 Eh... 210 00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:13,280 - Okay, so, if you're right... - Which... 211 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,550 Merely for the sake of argument, let's say you are, 212 00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:17,390 and Archer has infiltrated these guys... 213 00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:19,720 We have to find out which one is him. 214 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:20,920 Which... 215 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,460 Ow! Hey, cut it out. 216 00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:24,130 Ow! Come... Ow! Damn it! Come on! 217 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,800 That's... Ow! Okay! Ow! 218 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,980 What is he doing? Sterling's got the 219 00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:30,900 rest of his life to slap Cyril. 220 00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:32,900 - No! No! - Excuse me. 221 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,600 - Okay! Stop! Ow! Ow! - Excuse me, green one? 222 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,410 She needs the bathroom again. 223 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,110 You just went! 224 00:09:39,140 --> 00:09:41,740 - I know, but... - She has diarrhea! 225 00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:42,580 Ugh! 226 00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:43,910 Seriously. 227 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,610 - Ya know... - What? You were the one 228 00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:47,980 shoving pizza in your gob like it owed you money. 229 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,250 Doesn't even makes sense. 230 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,790 Giggles, go with her. 231 00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:55,420 Yes, you! Idiot! 232 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:56,930 Psst! 233 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,300 Ready when you are. 234 00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:00,300 Blech. 235 00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:02,260 Seriously. 236 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,800 Did you see that? Malory just winked at that guy. 237 00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:07,600 - Do you think she's in on the caper? - Or just giving him props 238 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,500 for slapping the dog piss outta Cyril. 239 00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:10,820 Yeah, that does make more sense. 240 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,840 But either way, not cool. 241 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,610 Welp. 242 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,450 Stay cold, Pony Boy. 243 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,780 Eh... 244 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,950 Okay, now I just gotta find Archer. 245 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,520 - What? - I said, here is good. 246 00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:26,990 - So go ahead. - Huh? 247 00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:28,790 Okay. How about for starters, 248 00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:32,030 - "I'm sorry I kissed that old woman"? - Mm, okay. 249 00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:33,980 "I don't know what got into me. I can only assume 250 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,660 it was my repressed desire to sleep with my own mother." 251 00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:37,800 Uh... 252 00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:39,470 - Okay. - Wow! 253 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,300 So this is all just a big joke to you, huh? 254 00:10:42,340 --> 00:10:44,870 Meanwhile, I guess we get killed by a bunch of clowns, 255 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:46,880 and A.J. gets to go live in an orphanage! 256 00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:48,300 Well, if we live through this, we 257 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:49,810 are gonna have a long talk, Archer. 258 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,650 - Who? - "Who"? 259 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,310 Quit dicking around. 260 00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:56,320 I know you took out the green clown, and... and... 261 00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:00,020 Oh, shit! 262 00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:06,830 - Rompers! - Goddamn it! 263 00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:09,730 I said radio silence! 264 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:16,740 Your hands are so big! 265 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,240 Son of a... bitch-ass clown! 266 00:11:26,110 --> 00:11:28,020 Ugh! Finally! 267 00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:30,180 Jesus! No wonder Mozart went deaf. 268 00:11:30,220 --> 00:11:33,720 I swear to God, one more word out of you, 269 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,390 and you'll... have to have your brain's 270 00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:38,530 mail forwarded to the ceiling! 271 00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:42,930 That was technically not a word. 272 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,460 And what really chaps my cheeks, 273 00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:45,870 besides ruining that dress, 274 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,980 is now I have to have that exact same 275 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,440 stupid argument all over again with Archer! 276 00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:52,340 But first I gotta figure out which 277 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:54,210 one of these scrote-licks is him. 278 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,110 And then I am gonna let him have it! 279 00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:59,080 And then, boom, we're outta here. 280 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,220 And then Veronica Deane's like, 281 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:05,050 "Archer, you saved me and the Tsarina!" 282 00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:07,010 And then she swoons, and I catch 283 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,220 her, and there is a moment, and... 284 00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:12,800 Honestly, I don't see what could possibly go wrong. 285 00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:23,450 Look, we're running out of time here. 286 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,010 Those perps gotta be panicking by now, 287 00:12:25,050 --> 00:12:27,450 and panic equals dead hostages. 288 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,000 Yeah, well, so does barging in there 289 00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:30,520 with shape charges and flash-bangs. 290 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,520 Okay. Okay. So, then, I'm gonna 291 00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:34,350 just throw this out there, 292 00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:36,120 knockout gas! 293 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,660 - Knockout gas. - Yeah. 294 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,290 In the, uh... whatcha-madoo... HVAC. 295 00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:42,460 - Ooh! Or how bout a freeze ray? - Uh... 296 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,080 Yeah, we just freeze 'em into giant 297 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:45,670 icicles and hit 'em with a hammer. 298 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:48,700 Do we... Do we have that technology? 299 00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:50,720 Son of a... Could've sworn this 300 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,840 hallway led back to the foyer. 301 00:12:52,870 --> 00:12:54,540 Or maybe the dining room? 302 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:56,810 How the hell did I get so turned around? 303 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,480 Oh, and bigger question: 304 00:12:58,510 --> 00:13:00,550 how the hell am I gonna tell which clown is Archer? 305 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,050 You didn't think about that, did ya, Poovey? 306 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,530 I'm sorry. I honestly thought 307 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,320 knockout gas was an actual thing. 308 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,890 Idiot. Some kind of drug, maybe, but... 309 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,560 No, no, no, not the phone! 310 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,360 Oh, shit. Right. Limp, bloody corpses. 311 00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:17,500 Okay, so, uh, hey, uh... 312 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,090 Listen, I bet you guys are getting 313 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,700 pretty hungry in there again, huh? 314 00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:22,200 Uh, is he joking? 315 00:13:22,230 --> 00:13:24,570 I hope not. I can actually eat. 316 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,710 And speaking of, where is Pam? 317 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,880 So, what say we, uh, send in some 318 00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:32,010 more hot pizzas? What do ya say? 319 00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:36,850 I bet that's them! 320 00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,020 Go for Harris. Uh-huh. 321 00:13:40,050 --> 00:13:42,590 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 322 00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:44,160 No, no, no. No, yeah, I got it. 323 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,360 Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 324 00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:46,590 Yep. 325 00:13:46,630 --> 00:13:48,930 - He said no. - Aah! 326 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,580 And that even if they did want pizza 327 00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:52,200 for the hostages, which they don't, 328 00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,580 the perps wouldn't eat it 'cause they 329 00:13:53,610 --> 00:13:54,900 know we'd put sleeping pills in it. 330 00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:57,100 Damn it! 331 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,540 What about calzones? 332 00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:02,210 Ow! Come on! 333 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,240 I don't think his problem was with the food shape. 334 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,250 I don't know. I couldn't hear him! 335 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,880 Not the one hogging the phone. 336 00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:10,380 Okay. All right. Did I, or did I not, let you drive? 337 00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:13,050 Okay, cowboy, let's do it your way. 338 00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:14,890 Out-effing-standing. 339 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,120 Bravo One, Bravo Two, listen up. 340 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,560 I'm sorry, boss. We just can't find her. 341 00:14:19,590 --> 00:14:21,730 Or Pinky or Giggles or Yum-Yum, 342 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,330 which is kind of creepy since 343 00:14:23,350 --> 00:14:24,900 this place is on lockdown. 344 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,910 Ah, but doesn't the cunning rat 345 00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:29,140 find his way off a sinking ship? 346 00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:31,740 I think that's mostly via ropes? 347 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:34,610 Sinking, Oingo, as are my dreams, 348 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,080 into the icy black waters of failure. 349 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,750 For though mightily I toil and strive, 350 00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:41,910 the Tsarina shall not be mine. 351 00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:44,120 So, uh, what do we do now? 352 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,650 I guess we go with Plan X. 353 00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:49,820 Uh... w-what's Plan X? 354 00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:54,930 Oh, for... 355 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,260 Eat a dick, mansion. 356 00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:01,000 Said the spider to the... clown. 357 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,670 What, did I walk onto the Titan... 358 00:15:22,490 --> 00:15:24,030 Holy shit-house! That must 359 00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:25,630 be Archer and a bad guy! 360 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,390 But which is which? Should I shoot one... 361 00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:28,130 wait... or both? 362 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,250 Just blow off everybody's kneecaps 363 00:15:29,270 --> 00:15:30,330 and then apologize to one of 'em? 364 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,310 Wait, what am I saying? All the other 365 00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:34,000 bad guys will hear the shotgun! 366 00:15:34,030 --> 00:15:36,870 Well... 367 00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:43,180 Aw, damn it! 368 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,500 - Holy shit-snacks! - Wh... Pam? 369 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,330 - Archer? - No? 370 00:16:08,370 --> 00:16:09,700 Goddamn it! 371 00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:11,210 - You idiots! - Us? 372 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,710 The only idiot in here 373 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:15,010 is the one who made out with Veronica Deane! 374 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,910 Hey, first of all, she kissed me. I didn't kiss her. 375 00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:20,850 But even if I did kiss her, which I didn't, 376 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,350 it was because you were flirting with Ellis Crane! 377 00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:26,690 - He was flirting with me! - Oh, my God! 378 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,420 Oh, my God! Seriously? 379 00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:31,020 I wish I'd blown off both of you guys's kneecaps. 380 00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:32,760 - Jesus. - Not cool, Pam. 381 00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:34,690 Oh, eat my asshole! 382 00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:37,200 Now what are we gonna do about the hostage situation? 383 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,870 Oh, right. 384 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,770 All right. My guys are in position 385 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,040 and ready to blow the doors on your command. 386 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:46,110 On whose command? Who the hell is in charge here? 387 00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:48,040 Well, sir, I think, technically, you. 388 00:16:48,070 --> 00:16:49,780 - But this guy's been calling the shots. - What? 389 00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:52,950 Yeah. So, uh, yeah. We'll just leave you to it. 390 00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:55,050 Who the hell were those guys? 391 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,880 Don't shoot! Don't shoot! 392 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,390 We're coming out. They let us go. 393 00:16:59,420 --> 00:17:01,550 That's what happened, and we're just some innocent hostages. 394 00:17:01,590 --> 00:17:03,290 You really think this is gonna work? 395 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,430 It will if you shut your fat mouth. 396 00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:07,390 Are there any more hostages inside? 397 00:17:07,430 --> 00:17:10,730 Mm, nope. Just those hideous clowns. 398 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:11,780 We're gonna die, we're gonna 399 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,930 die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die... 400 00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:15,100 - Oh, shut up! - Seriously! 401 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:17,270 But when the SWAT team smashes in here and yells, 402 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:19,270 "Drop your weapons," we won't be able to, 403 00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:20,380 and then they're gonna shoot 404 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,410 us, and we're gonna die! 405 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,440 We're gonna die! We're gonna die... 406 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,740 - Oh, my God, he's right. - Yeah, that'll happen. 407 00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:26,750 What the shit? 408 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:30,080 Uh, why is everybody clowns? 409 00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,250 Go, go, go, go, go! 410 00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:37,960 No, no, no! 411 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,590 Oh, no! 412 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,130 No, no, no, no! 413 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,930 Don't shoot! 414 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:45,930 Come on! No! 415 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:50,840 No! 416 00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:11,690 This was my... 417 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:15,700 third best birthday. 418 00:18:23,030 --> 00:18:27,020 And, so, what did we learn? 419 00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:29,690 - If anything. - Well, for starters, beanbags. 420 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,220 How the hell is that a toy for kids? 421 00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:34,230 Guess we're lucky the police don't shoot lawn darts. 422 00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:36,160 Oh, thank God, he's right about something. 423 00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:37,000 Or horseshoes. 424 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:39,030 - Note to self... - Krieger! 425 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:41,330 What? That was an unrelated note to self! 426 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,240 Lawn dart rifle. 427 00:18:43,270 --> 00:18:44,740 Ugh! Are we at least gonna get paid 428 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,210 back for all of our medical bills? 429 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,670 Sterling is with Shapiro as we speak, 430 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,340 presenting him with an itemized bill. 431 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,750 But you must realize, Mr. Archer, 432 00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:56,680 I won't pay one thin dime of this. 433 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,390 Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. It's opposite day. 434 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,660 Which means a bunch of cops didn't shoot 435 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,060 the shit out of me with beanbags, which... 436 00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:08,030 How is that a kid's toy? Which means I don't know 437 00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:10,860 you hired those clowns to steal the Tsarina! 438 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,600 But h-how did you know? 439 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,700 I didn't. You just told me. 440 00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:16,940 Oh, damn it! 441 00:19:16,970 --> 00:19:18,610 Yeah. Not great. For you. 442 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,370 I mean, when Veronica finds out you did this. 443 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,880 I did it for her. 444 00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:24,410 She's broke. 445 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,910 My God, she's got all these bills to pay... 446 00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:29,080 health insurance, a huge mortgage... 447 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,050 She can't eat a bunch of diamonds and emeralds. 448 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,600 So you hired those clowns to steal 449 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,120 it, to get the insurance money... 450 00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:36,290 Old clients of mine. I got 'em out of jail, 451 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,420 but then they double-cross me. 452 00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:41,460 - And now I bet they're gonna kill me! - Yeah, probably. 453 00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:43,930 So, the Tsarina is worth... 454 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,900 I mean, like, four million. 455 00:19:45,930 --> 00:19:48,100 And you were gonna pay the clowns, so you didn't have to worry 456 00:19:48,130 --> 00:19:49,600 about the cops or the insurance company? 457 00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:53,240 Like, a s... four hundred grand? 458 00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:55,910 Yeah. So, I'm gonna need a half a million in... 459 00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:58,640 - I don't know. Have you got Krugerrands? - I mean... 460 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,410 - yeah. - Super. So, that. 461 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,480 And then, if you hear from Rompers and his gang... 462 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,420 - Which... - you let me know. 463 00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:07,650 - I owe him one. - So, you'll protect me? 464 00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:09,590 No. I'll protect Veronica Deane. 465 00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:12,960 Oh, so, did she ask about me, or... 466 00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:16,630 Did she... 467 00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,100 Oh, Mr.... 468 00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:22,970 She... 469 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,670 Whew! No. 470 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:29,300 There's a nice way to do that. 471 00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:34,280 Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - www.Addic7ed.com - 471 00:20:35,305 --> 00:20:41,232 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org