1 00:00:00,348 --> 00:00:02,045 [OMINOUS TONE] 2 00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,049 ♪ 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:14,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 4 00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:22,848 ARCHER: Altair Beta? 5 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:25,068 Why'd you wake me up way the hell out here? 6 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,853 MALORY: We picked up a distress beacon. 7 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,072 Not surprising. 8 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:31,074 Altair Beta's not the best neighborhood. 9 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,902 MALORY: Unless you're a Dri'n pirate. 10 00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,338 ARCHER: Yeah, speaking of... 11 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,514 Looks like pirateshit that transport pretty hard. 12 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:39,865 Well, what say we go pick the bones? 13 00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:43,347 [CHUCKLES] I'd say, uh, unfortunate choice of words. 14 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,480 Figuratively. Hopefully. 15 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:48,265 Well, I'm in, but you know what she's gonna say. 16 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,962 Why, does she talk in her sleep? 17 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,703 What? Mother, come on. We can't not... 18 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,923 I mean, Lana's the co-captain, so... 19 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,707 - So? - Huh. 20 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,970 W-Well, should we wake up anybody? 21 00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,276 - Why would we? - Good point. 22 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,192 Let's go check it out. 23 00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,367 W-Wait, Mother. 24 00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,499 - Hang on. - [FARTS] 25 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,587 Oh, for the... 26 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:08,372 - You are disgusting. - [SNICKERING] 27 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:10,505 Me? He's the one wallowing in... 28 00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:11,506 [SNIFFING] 29 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,943 Oh, freeze-dried shepherd's pie. 30 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:16,728 [SNIFFING] Ugh! And banana pudding. 31 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,562 ♪ 32 00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:36,618 So, on the off chance 33 00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:38,968 the pirates left anything worth taking... 34 00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:40,250 MALORY: There's no sense cutting 35 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,189 the rest of those idiots in on the deal. 36 00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:43,625 Yeah, they'll just... Wait, 37 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,496 what do you mean, "the rest of those idiots?" 38 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,282 Hmm?-Are you implying I'm an idiot? 39 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:50,284 - No, I... - Yes, you were. 40 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,199 I wasn't implying anything. You... 41 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,853 - [ALARM BLARING] - COMPUTER: Proximity alert. 42 00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:57,334 Proximity alert. 43 00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,467 Proximity alert. 44 00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:02,600 - What the hell? - Proximity alert. 45 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:04,733 [ALARM STOPS] 46 00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:07,953 - [SIGHS] Idiot. - Aha! See? 47 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:10,434 - You were implying it. - I'm saying it! 48 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,654 Now can you please just dock the damn thing? 49 00:02:12,697 --> 00:02:14,177 [CRASH] 50 00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,571 - Yes. - LANA: Nope! 51 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,312 - [SIGHS] Here we go. - Oh, goody. 52 00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:21,010 And just what in my own personal hell 53 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,794 do you two think you're doing?-Well... 54 00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:25,406 And don't insult my intelligenceby lying to me. 55 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,234 Okay, then... 56 00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,062 Never mind. 57 00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:34,110 [ARCHER THEME PLAYING] 58 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:14,237 ARCHER: Damn it, Krieger, why'd you have to wake her up? 59 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,457 You big-mouth... fish. 60 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,937 Don't call me fish! And I didn't write my code, 61 00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:21,375 - so don't yell at me. - I'll do the yelling. 62 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,483 Great, that way we know you're getting enough oxygen. 63 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,030 Now, somebody explain to me 64 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,530 why you're docking the ship without permission. 65 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:30,253 - Permission? - Look, we picked up a distress beacon, 66 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,386 and we thought, you know, that we'd... 67 00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,475 Leave us all in stasis while you sneak in there 68 00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,409 to loot whatever the pirates might've left behind 69 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:39,523 in there, which... Spoiler alert... is jack-shit 70 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,960 unless you're counting the ionic charges 71 00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:45,486 they left as booby-traps! 72 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,879 Well, you've clearly already made up your mind, so... 73 00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,665 [SIGHS] Somebody tell me this is a joke. 74 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:53,972 Oh, what, you being first mate? Sadly, no. Not a joke. 75 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,758 No, this. Which better not be what it looks like. 76 00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:59,064 [LAUGHS] That's better than what it smells like. 77 00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:02,372 - Huh? - Which is a giant bag of assholes. 78 00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:04,505 - What? - Cyril, you reek. 79 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:05,984 No, I...[SNIFFS] 80 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,725 Is that shepherd's pie? 81 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,901 [GIGGLES] And banana pudding. 82 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:10,989 Damn it, Archer. 83 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,122 Did you fart in my stasis pod again? 84 00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:15,167 - Why, I oughta... - You oughta wash off 85 00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:16,299 that 'nana puddin'. 86 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,345 [GRUNTING] 87 00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,391 Stop touching me! You stink! 88 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,480 Will you two knock it off? 89 00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:26,483 - Yes. - Ow! 90 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:29,399 Why do we even serve shepherd's pie? 91 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,445 And, follow-up, why do we have 92 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,708 the world's loneliest courtesan on board? 93 00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,231 - [GASPS] - Seriously, though, 94 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,712 this whole place smells like a fart shit its pants. 95 00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,453 PAM: Did somebody say pants? 96 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:42,717 [LAUGHING, CHEERING, APPLAUSE] 97 00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:48,200 [LAUGHING, APPLAUSE QUIETS] 98 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:52,248 'Cause I'm not wearing any. 99 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,032 Because welcome to the freak show. 100 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,339 What? Said the bug zapper. 101 00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,559 - Yeah, and speaking of. - What? 102 00:04:58,602 --> 00:04:59,951 We had a deal. 103 00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:01,997 - [ALL GRUMBLING] - ARCHER: Yeah, come on, Mom. 104 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,608 [SIGHS] Oh, all right. 105 00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,444 - Happy? - No, actually. 106 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:17,534 Because you two were about to violate quarantine protocols, 107 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:20,407 possibly exposing my ship to dangerous... 108 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,409 - It's not your ship! - Half of it is. 109 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,280 Because I had a shitty divorce lawyer. 110 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,499 Whose fault is that? 111 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,501 You're the one who wanted a divorce! 112 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,384 When what I should've done is just wait for you 113 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:32,549 to get murdered by one of the enemies you either owe money, 114 00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:35,204 cheated, cuckolded, straight-up stole from, 115 00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:37,598 or some combination thereof. 116 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,427 [CLEARS THROAT] Your point being? 117 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,255 Her point, Captain Doctor Science, 118 00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:45,649 is you can't expose just half the ship 119 00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,782 to potentially deadly microorganisms. 120 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:49,784 Aha! Potentially deadly. 121 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,263 I'm not having this argument again. 122 00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:52,458 [CHUCKLES] Apparently you are. 123 00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,179 No, I'm not. 124 00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:55,746 Aborting docking sequence. 125 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,792 Yes, you a... [GRUNTING] 126 00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:00,316 - Damn it, Lana! - Aborting docking seq... 127 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,640 - BOTH: Krieger! - Guys, come on. 128 00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,580 We've been over and over and over this. 129 00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,799 The Laws of Robotics... 130 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:07,279 Is made-up shit from a comic book. 131 00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,759 [GASPS] 132 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:11,196 - Sorry. - Don't be. It had to be said. -[THUMP] 133 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,435 - [MUFFLED SCREAMING] - [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 134 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:15,549 - CHERYL: What the shit? - [MUFFLED SPLAT] 135 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:16,767 - [ALL GASP] - Oh, my God. 136 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,421 [MUFFLED GRUNTING, STRAINING] 137 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,007 - PAM: What is that? - MALORY: Oh, my God, 138 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,661 - what the hell... - KRIEGER: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody, shh. 139 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:24,296 [GRUNTING] 140 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,781 [POP] 141 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,522 - Aah! - Kill it! -Boy! 142 00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:33,654 [PANTING] 143 00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:35,046 Whew. 144 00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,574 - Are... - [SCREAMING] 145 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,494 [FOOTSTEPS PATTERING AWAY] 146 00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:50,453 Happy? 147 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,934 I'm... happy you're not. 148 00:06:57,765 --> 00:07:00,115 PAM: What the hell was that thing? 149 00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,552 I think the more pressing question is... 150 00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,380 No, Krieger, for the millionth time, 151 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,600 - you'll never be a real boy. - I was going to say... 152 00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,689 I think it's more tragic than anything. 153 00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,081 - You're one to talk. - [GASPS] 154 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,692 - I was going to say... - Ooh! 155 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:12,910 When will you be a real boy? 156 00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,956 What the hell was it running from? 157 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:17,611 Um... 158 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,830 - [ALL EXCLAIM] - Son of a... 159 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:22,224 [GROWLING] 160 00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:25,793 Dri'n dak! Dak txakurrak! 161 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,752 Oh, yeah? You want some of this? 162 00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,145 Ow! 163 00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:33,148 I think they might, actually. 164 00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:34,758 Dri'n bastards. Krieger, blast door. 165 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,151 Yep, yep, yep. 166 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,721 [MUFFLED GROWLING] 167 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,636 - That oughta hold 'em. Okay... - Hang on. 168 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,726 Shut up. Krieger, undock us. 169 00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:48,163 Cyril, Pam, Carol, grab a weapon, 170 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:50,513 split up, and find that xenomorph. 171 00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,167 For all we know he's a Trojan horse. 172 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:55,562 - He was pretty rubbery. - [LAUGHING]: So stupid. 173 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:56,650 Right? 174 00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,695 And if you can temporarily de-ass your head, 175 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,305 want to get us out to here? 176 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,872 Why? We can take these assholes. 177 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,353 - [CRASHING] - [ALL SCREAM] 178 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,877 - COMPUTER: Hull damage. - You were saying? 179 00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:10,098 - [SIGHS] - Hull damage. 180 00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:12,492 - [ALARM BLARING] - Hull damage. 181 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:17,192 - Hull damage. - I heard you. 182 00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,807 ARCHER: Okay, Krieger, we clear? 183 00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:24,982 KRIEGER: Yep, yep, yep! 184 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,462 ARCHER: Okay then. 185 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,246 Everybody brace for initial thrust. 186 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,248 In three... 187 00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,467 - Whoa! - God... 188 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,425 - Damn... - Son of a... 189 00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:35,602 - Bitch! - Ow! 190 00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:36,646 [LAUGHS] 191 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:37,734 "Woooooo!!" 192 00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,955 RAY: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no 193 00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,783 - no, no! - [CERAMIC SHATTERING] 194 00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,219 [SIGHS] 195 00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:46,438 Can't have anything nice. 196 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:47,962 Never gets old, does it? 197 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,833 Nope. Unlike some people. 198 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:50,834 Excuse me?! 199 00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,836 Lana, handle your business. 200 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,665 There's a giant squeezy toy on the loose. 201 00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,580 LANA: I'll squeeze your... Damn it! 202 00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,626 ARCHER: [LAUGHS] Got nothing. 203 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,985 Okay, keep your crazy eyes peeled. 204 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,813 And watch your muzzle, will ya? 205 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:14,945 I'm not trying to get blasted in the face. 206 00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:17,165 - Well, I'm not trying to get slimed. - What? 207 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,080 It's not a ghost, dumb-ass. 208 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:22,257 - How do you know? - [SCOFFS] Because nothing's a ghost. 209 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,824 [THUMP] -[GASPS] -Shh. 210 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,741 You open it on three. 211 00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,177 Ready? 212 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,874 One... 213 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:34,225 [GASPS] -[YELPS] -Oh, for... You pussy. 214 00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:36,750 You're supposed to belooking for the damn xenomorph. 215 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,621 I'm checking all the storage lockers. 216 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,756 This one's clear. 217 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,280 [FOOTSTEPS PATTERING] 218 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:46,716 On me. 219 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:51,025 - Freeze! - Don't shoot, don't shoot! 220 00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:52,461 Let me see those hands! 221 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,767 I... I don't have any. 222 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,290 - Duh-hoy. - Shut up. 223 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,684 Okay, so who or what are you? 224 00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,033 I... W... I'm Bort. 225 00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,079 Bort the Garj? 226 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,997 - Of the House of Garj? - Well, Mr. Bort the Garj, 227 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,738 just, what do you think you're doing? 228 00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,699 Eating off-brand cereal. 229 00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:16,311 No, the passengers were from all over. 230 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:19,793 I was the only Garj, and sol was able to hide in the walls 231 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,316 when they attacked the transport. 232 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,492 And after they killed all the crew, they just... 233 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,798 took everybody. 234 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:27,017 To sell into the spek mines, no doubt. 235 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:29,237 So how do you know English? 236 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,066 - Is... that relevant? - Yeah, Lana. 237 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,807 I mean, why does anybody know it? 238 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,809 I mean she does. She's obviously not human. 239 00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:38,550 - But not so obviously a she. - Hey! 240 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,726 We were all thinking it. 241 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,728 'Cause you're all a bunch of xenophobes. 242 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:44,339 Are you... You're as bad as she is. 243 00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:46,733 - Always calling me fish or... - That doesn't count. 244 00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:49,866 - You're a robot. - Synthetic human. 245 00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:51,520 Potato, pobobot, am I right? 246 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:54,305 Anyway, the important thing is I'm okay. 247 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,698 - Is that so? - Well, yeah. 248 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:58,222 I mean, I'm heir to the throne of the House of Garj, so... 249 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,965 And that's actually a pretty huge deal. 250 00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,098 - Well, li-like, how huge? - Well... 251 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,404 I-If you had to express it monetarily. 252 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,972 - Wh... Oh, no. - Lana, shut up. 253 00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:10,582 - Archer, shut up. - [ALL CLAMOR] -No! 254 00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:12,996 We are not going off on some...-Wild goose chase! Who's in? 255 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,824 I'm so in!-Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!-Ooh, me! 256 00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:18,547 - No. Now, wait a minute. - Lana, democracy has spoken. 257 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,332 So, if we take you home to Garj... 258 00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:22,986 Well, to Garjek, our moon, 259 00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:25,815 then my parents will reward you handsomely. 260 00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,991 I'm already handsome. How much? 261 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,993 I mean... easily a million credits. 262 00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:32,996 - [EXCITED CHATTER] - In this economy? 263 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,998 And like I said, I'm a pretty huge deal. 264 00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:37,000 Yes, yes, you definitely are. 265 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,350 So, can somebody here please 266 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:42,005 get His Highness some more cereal right now? 267 00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,746 Yeah, or maybe just better cereal? 268 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,879 Well, I don't know about all that. 269 00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:46,923 Just a thought. 270 00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,360 Can I talk to you... please? 271 00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:52,624 If you can do it while I'm plotting a course for Garjek. 272 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:53,800 Wha... 273 00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:55,192 And ignoring you. 274 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,979 LANA: Because we need to put the ship in dry-dock. 275 00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,415 The hull was damaged, 276 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:02,983 - even before this fiasco. - ARCHER: All right, 277 00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:04,114 carry the two... 278 00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,421 And now you want to put more stress on the ship 279 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,336 and jump two systems away 280 00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:11,818 just because a sentient blobsays there might be money in it. 281 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,645 Uncarry the two. 282 00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,691 On top of which... Not that you give a shit... 283 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,911 But you swore to me we'd go back to Earth. 284 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,149 - You promised. - Lana, come on. 285 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,870 I promised you lots of things. 286 00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,350 - Archer... - Besides, 287 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,569 like you said, it's just two systems, a... 288 00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:25,832 a skip and a jump. 289 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,659 What could possibly go wrong? 290 00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:28,922 - Seriously? - [CHUCKLES] 291 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,140 Besides all the normal stuff 292 00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:32,839 that could easily go disastrously wrong, 293 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,842 - since space travel is so dangerous. - Ugh. 294 00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,279 [ENGINE WHIRRING] 295 00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:40,803 ARCHER: [LAUGHS] Woooooo!! 296 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,980 Hyperspace! 297 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:59,039 ARCHER [LAUGHING]: Oh, m... oh, man. 298 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,997 Is hyperspace not the best? 299 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:03,870 If you mean is it the bestat putting stress on the hull... 300 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,741 Is this the rest of my life now... 301 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,309 You bitching about the damn hull? 302 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:10,528 Right? Relax. The hull's gonna be... 303 00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:11,660 - [EXPLOSION] - Aah! 304 00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:12,768 - What the hell was that? - [GLASS SHATTERS] 305 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,098 My last bottle of bitter lemon! 306 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,230 Dri'n fighters inbound. 307 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:17,840 ARCHER: From where? 308 00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,426 - LANA: From the transport. - ARCHER: What?! 309 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,626 LANA: They must've followed us, dumb-ass. 310 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,845 How am I a dumb-ass? 311 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,716 How much time do you have? 312 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,892 Ow! 313 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,894 Uh... not much. 314 00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:30,070 - COMPUTER: Hull damage. - We know! 315 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,569 - [ALARM BLARING] - COMPUTER: Battle stations. 316 00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:33,856 Ugh! What now? 317 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,858 Seriously. 318 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:39,122 But whatever it is, I'm sure it's Archer's fault. 319 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:40,036 - Krieger, helm! - Yep! 320 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,648 Okay, assholes. Sun's out, guns out. 321 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,520 Well, in space, the sun is always... 322 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,957 Don't step on my line, fish! 323 00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:58,489 Whoa... 324 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,338 Uh, I thought this was a civilian ship. 325 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:02,905 Isn't it illegal for it to have weapons? 326 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:04,669 Oh, my God, it is. 327 00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:07,716 Should we pull over and call the Federation, or, uh... 328 00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,912 - What? No, I just... - 'Cause we're happy to pull over, Bort! 329 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:12,286 - KRIEGER: S-seriously? - LANA: No. Archer... 330 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,504 - [LOUD THUD] - Please! 331 00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:15,419 Quit dicking around. 332 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:17,857 ARCHER: Yeah, Bort. 333 00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:23,079 Come on, come on, come on, come on... 334 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,559 Yes! 335 00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,825 Get some! Get some! 336 00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:34,351 Suppressing fire! 337 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:36,353 ARCHER: Jesus, 338 00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:37,920 you couldn't suppress a cough. 339 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:40,183 - CYRIL [OVER COMMS]: Yes, I could. - Touché, Cyril. 340 00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:44,144 We're taking too much damage! 341 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,842 Damn it! Okay, Carol... 342 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,931 Carol? Carol! 343 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,411 - What? - ARCHER: You know what! 344 00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,979 - Ugh! - LANA: Goddamn it, woman. 345 00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,024 All right, already! 346 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,897 Jesus! 347 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,987 [WEAPONS FIRING] 348 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:10,822 Isn't it kind of weird Carol hates doing 349 00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,346 the one thing she's good at? 350 00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:14,652 No, I get it. I mean, I'm like that with blowjobs. 351 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:17,655 - MALORY: Oh, for... - [LAUGHING]: Wai-Wait, what? 352 00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:20,397 - Yeah, whooda what? - ARCHER: Since when are you good at blowjobs? 353 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:21,746 Excuse me? 354 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,574 [CHUCKLES] For your information... 355 00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:25,011 LANA: Cyril, shut up. 356 00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:27,187 - Let the man speak. - ARCHER: Yeah, Lana. 357 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,232 He has nothing to say on the matter. 358 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:32,235 - Do you, Cyril? - I... No, I guess not. 359 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,107 ARCHER: Whoa, w-whoa, w... wait a minute. 360 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,848 LANA: Hey, look over there... that was the last pirate. 361 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,198 Way to go, Carol. 362 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,851 Yeah. Yay me. 363 00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:41,481 ARCHER: Okay, we will talk about this later. 364 00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:43,788 - LANA: No, we won't. - ARCHER: But for now, head to the gig. 365 00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:45,118 We leave for the surface in five. 366 00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:48,077 Time to see what a million credits looks like. 367 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,428 And we should take a duffel bag, or... 368 00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:54,214 - Ray, uh, what are you doing? - [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 369 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,346 I thought I'd go down with y'all and see if I could, 370 00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,261 you know, find some clientele. 371 00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,307 [ALL LAUGHING] 372 00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:04,006 Hey, you know what? 373 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,921 I don't need it! 374 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,012 PAM: Aw, man. Now I feel kind of bad. 375 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,796 ARCHER: Yeah, I d... 376 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,885 I do too. Let's bring him something back. 377 00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:15,800 Does he still collect those little spoons? 378 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,280 Ugh, yes. 379 00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:19,456 Hey, we're not going down there for a shopping spree. 380 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,806 We're gonna use that reward money to repair the ship. 381 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,113 Jesus, calm down, it's just a spoon. 382 00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,201 Yeah, Lana. 383 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,644 So, Bort, wh... uh, what do we call your folks? 384 00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,298 BORT: Do what? 385 00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:37,866 ARCHER: Like, is this a "Your Majesty" type deal, or... 386 00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:40,086 Uh, y-yeah, I guess. 387 00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:41,391 Okay, so... 388 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:42,958 Oh, should I curtsy? 389 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,873 Ugh, there's a picture. 390 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,875 PAM: First of all, I was voted. 391 00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:49,312 Most Ladylike in my cotillion class, and I also... 392 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,836 Who was your competition... A boulder? 393 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,249 - [WEAPONS COCKING] -[ALL GASP] - Oh, the Dri'n. 394 00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:55,188 - [CACKLING] - ARCHER: What the... 395 00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,668 - BARRY: Hey, gang. - Wha... 396 00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:59,235 Barry Six?! 397 00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:01,213 - MALORY: Good God. - CYRIL: Not Barry Six. -[ALL GROAN] 398 00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:04,980 Yeah, it's good ol' Barry Six. Say, Bort. 399 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,175 - Goddamn it, Bort. - Hey, Six. -You know him? 400 00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:07,678 How the hell do you know Bort? 401 00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:09,289 Oh, Bort and I go way back. 402 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,118 I got Bort out of a sticky little mess on Vega Three, 403 00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:14,294 - didn't I, bud? - Yeah. 404 00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:16,078 So this was all a big set-up? 405 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,212 - Duh-hoy. - I'm super sorry, you guys. 406 00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:20,648 Oh, you will be, you little... 407 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:23,085 Butt-plug looking piece of shit! 408 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,869 That's what he reminds me of! 409 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:26,175 Mother, please. 410 00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:27,176 Well look at him. 411 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,222 So are we... cool? 412 00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,093 [CHORTLING] 413 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,790 I mean, I am. 414 00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,315 Okay, well, then I'm just gonna... 415 00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:39,188 [GRUNTING] kinda... 416 00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:41,060 tip... just tip on out, then. 417 00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,672 BARRY [CHUCKLING]: Wow. 418 00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:48,371 Wow. Look at that. Little kook. 419 00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,523 You believe he's heir to the throne of the House of Garj? 420 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,201 What do you want with us? 421 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:53,985 Well, me and Archer have what you might call 422 00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:56,118 an outstanding account to settle. 423 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,686 So, for starters, I'm gonna extract 424 00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,166 all the bones from his body. 425 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,776 - What?! - No biggie. 426 00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:03,125 Well, now just hold on a minute! 427 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,257 - Yeah! - If this is between 428 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,172 the two of you, the rest of us... 429 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:08,739 - No! - The rest of you, I hope, 430 00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,785 are gonna fetch me a pretty good price 431 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,197 when I sell you down the spek mines. 432 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,701 - Seriously? - [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 433 00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:15,833 Yeah. Not great, huh? 434 00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,052 [DRI'N LAUGHING] 435 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,097 [DOOR SLAMS] 436 00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:30,761 How about now... happy now? 437 00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:33,199 I mean... probably happier than I'm gonna be 438 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:35,418 when Barry Six starts yanking my bones. 439 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,159 [LAUGHS] Space phrasing. 440 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,207 No. 441 00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:15,937 MAN: Made in Georgia. 442 00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:22,378 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 442 00:19:23,305 --> 00:19:29,340 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org