1 00:00:03,273 --> 00:00:06,292 Now that doesn't look right. 2 00:00:06,412 --> 00:00:08,334 Why am I lookingat a black hole? 3 00:00:08,413 --> 00:00:09,569 You know I hate those. 4 00:00:09,657 --> 00:00:11,678 Yeah, we're nowhere near where we're supposed to be. 5 00:00:11,765 --> 00:00:13,671 Well, maybe we should find the navigator 6 00:00:13,759 --> 00:00:15,145 and throw something at him. 7 00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:16,819 Wait, I'm the... hey! 8 00:00:16,907 --> 00:00:18,356 - Seriously? - Sorry, I didn't 9 00:00:18,444 --> 00:00:21,452 - have anything heavier. - Also there's that. 10 00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:27,372 That is the most evil thing I've ever seen. 11 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:28,653 This isn't my fault. 12 00:00:28,734 --> 00:00:30,210 I didn't enterthese coordinates. 13 00:00:30,305 --> 00:00:34,217 That thing summoned us out of hyperspace. 14 00:00:35,150 --> 00:00:39,144 Well, don't just stand theregawping like stunned space elk. 15 00:00:39,232 --> 00:00:41,234 Go see if there's anything worth salvaging. 16 00:00:41,321 --> 00:00:43,184 You want us to walk into a thing 17 00:00:43,272 --> 00:00:44,194 that might as well have 18 00:00:44,282 --> 00:00:46,021 "imminent death" written on the side? 19 00:00:46,109 --> 00:00:47,327 Well... 20 00:00:47,943 --> 00:00:49,350 Since we're here. 21 00:00:51,405 --> 00:00:53,223 Yep, and nothing terrible 22 00:00:53,311 --> 00:00:55,340 ever happens in a place like this. 23 00:00:55,428 --> 00:00:57,083 Hmm, I'm not finding much. 24 00:00:57,171 --> 00:00:59,600 Just a bunch of hallways that meet up over there. 25 00:01:00,038 --> 00:01:03,137 Ooh, I'm picking up large amounts of organic compounds! 26 00:01:03,225 --> 00:01:04,953 Aww, but no moisture, 27 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,856 which only makes sense if it's... 28 00:01:06,944 --> 00:01:09,132 A giant field of old, dead aliens? 29 00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:11,264 Or an army of space mummies. 30 00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:13,222 Uh, look up circuit-dick. 31 00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:16,226 Oh, well, technically I'm correct 32 00:01:16,313 --> 00:01:19,707 if they stand up... now! 33 00:01:19,819 --> 00:01:20,842 Right now. 34 00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:22,754 Instead of trying to raise the dead, 35 00:01:22,842 --> 00:01:24,255 why don't we just find something shiny 36 00:01:24,342 --> 00:01:25,905 and get the heck out of here? 37 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:27,848 Cyril, find anything? 38 00:01:27,936 --> 00:01:31,293 Well, it looks likethere are two kinds of aliens. 39 00:01:31,381 --> 00:01:35,749 Heavily armored and seems likethey've been here for eons. 40 00:01:35,854 --> 00:01:37,139 Ah! 41 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:40,778 - Dead... ... alien... - ... in...... 42 00:01:40,866 --> 00:01:42,928 My... ... lungs. 43 00:01:43,016 --> 00:01:45,561 - Whoa-ho! - Cool! 44 00:01:48,702 --> 00:01:51,161 We've decoded the writing on the outside 45 00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,046 and it seemed... relevant. 46 00:01:53,306 --> 00:01:54,452 Relevant how? 47 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:55,975 Well, as far as we can tell, 48 00:01:56,063 --> 00:01:57,991 it's one phrase translated 49 00:01:58,137 --> 00:02:00,403 into a dozen ancient languages. 50 00:02:00,594 --> 00:02:04,539 "Beware. End of life." "Beware. End of life." 51 00:02:04,752 --> 00:02:05,852 Any-hoo... 52 00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:07,896 Now I kind of wishwe'd worn helmets. 53 00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,717 Time to go. Cyril, Pam. 54 00:02:09,805 --> 00:02:11,795 Ha-ha! 55 00:02:11,883 --> 00:02:15,435 Bring me the biggest goose in all of London! 56 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,202 Well, hello. 57 00:02:20,742 --> 00:02:22,375 I'm Mr. Deadly, 58 00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:24,297 and I'm coming with you. 59 00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,383 And if we don't take you? 60 00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:33,477 Written right on the side. 61 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:41,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 62 00:03:05,258 --> 00:03:06,898 *ARCHER (2009)* Season 10 Episode 05 63 00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,195 *ARCHER (2009)* Title : "1999: Mr. Deadly Goes to Town" 64 00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:19,701 Could you say that one more time? 65 00:03:19,789 --> 00:03:21,922 - Bring me the biggest goo... - Not you! 66 00:03:22,009 --> 00:03:23,640 I'm a sentient doomsday device 67 00:03:23,728 --> 00:03:26,861 created by an extinct alien race but never used. 68 00:03:26,949 --> 00:03:30,007 Wait, never used? What about all those bodies? 69 00:03:39,648 --> 00:03:42,769 Well, hello. I'm Mr. Deadly. 70 00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:44,945 Typical. 71 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:47,948 I didn't kill them. They died fighting over me. 72 00:03:48,035 --> 00:03:49,739 But you gestured threateningly. 73 00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,810 I've been alone for thousands of years, 74 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:55,685 so my nonverbal communication skills are a bit rusty. 75 00:03:55,773 --> 00:03:57,771 So wait, are youa weapon or not? 76 00:03:57,859 --> 00:03:59,655 As I said, doomsday device. 77 00:03:59,742 --> 00:04:02,200 Designed by a race to whom mutual destruction 78 00:04:02,288 --> 00:04:03,952 was preferable to defeat. 79 00:04:04,062 --> 00:04:06,622 I was hidden away on the edge of space, 80 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:10,716 but the war I was created to end in fiery apotheosis 81 00:04:10,804 --> 00:04:12,247 concluded without me. 82 00:04:12,358 --> 00:04:15,841 So there I remained, my only companions 83 00:04:15,929 --> 00:04:19,671 the velvety dark and solitude itself. 84 00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:21,503 And then? 85 00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:24,767 I got bored, so I nabbed you lot out of hyperspace 86 00:04:24,854 --> 00:04:27,060 to help me explode, at which point 87 00:04:27,148 --> 00:04:29,849 I'll atomize a few dozen solar systems. 88 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,192 Who else is turned on right now? 89 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,224 - Always on. - Not at all. 90 00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:34,864 Am I to understand 91 00:04:34,951 --> 00:04:38,013 that we brought a giant bomb onto the ship 92 00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:41,109 because you misunderstood its gestures? 93 00:04:42,089 --> 00:04:43,896 Yeah, keep working on it, buddy. 94 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,942 Now, with that out of the way, 95 00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:48,999 would you say "Please detonate"? 96 00:04:50,287 --> 00:04:51,991 Plea... 97 00:04:53,819 --> 00:04:57,137 Keep little Miss Death Wish confined here until we decide 98 00:04:57,225 --> 00:04:59,332 what to do with that walking apocalypse. 99 00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:02,371 So we're just supposed to sithere and twiddle our thumbs? 100 00:05:02,459 --> 00:05:04,512 I'm sure what you do with your thumbs 101 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,400 is entirely your business. 102 00:05:08,251 --> 00:05:10,749 Yeah, just seethe silently. That'll show her. 103 00:05:10,837 --> 00:05:12,137 Well, you're stuck here, too. 104 00:05:12,225 --> 00:05:13,457 I'm always stuck here. 105 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:15,902 What? 106 00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:17,070 I'm just laughing 107 00:05:17,194 --> 00:05:19,124 at how little they respect you. 108 00:05:19,212 --> 00:05:21,740 God, I need a drink. 109 00:05:21,915 --> 00:05:23,689 It looks like The Artifact 110 00:05:23,777 --> 00:05:26,043 sealed itself up after you left. 111 00:05:26,131 --> 00:05:27,418 So we're stuck with you, huh? 112 00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:29,945 Yes. Though I can't trigger myself, 113 00:05:30,033 --> 00:05:33,381 I would like to explode at the earliest opportunity. 114 00:05:34,358 --> 00:05:35,326 Go right ahead! 115 00:05:35,414 --> 00:05:37,699 If killed, I blow up automatically. 116 00:05:37,787 --> 00:05:39,973 Sort of obvious, when you think about it. 117 00:05:40,326 --> 00:05:43,895 So you lived your entire lifeon that thing, right? 118 00:05:43,983 --> 00:05:46,067 You've neverexperienced anything? 119 00:05:46,155 --> 00:05:49,090 I could access all the information in the galaxy. 120 00:05:49,178 --> 00:05:50,426 But I suppose you're right. 121 00:05:50,514 --> 00:05:52,707 I didn't directly experience any of it. 122 00:05:52,795 --> 00:05:55,082 Aww. You must be horny as shit. 123 00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:57,865 The sole aim of my being is to explode. 124 00:05:57,953 --> 00:05:59,020 Been there, buddy. 125 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,910 We get it. You wanna explode. 126 00:06:00,998 --> 00:06:03,725 But if you experience some stuff, then explode, 127 00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,075 you'd get the best of both worlds. 128 00:06:05,162 --> 00:06:07,253 Maybe you won't want to explode at all. 129 00:06:07,341 --> 00:06:10,272 Unlikely, but intriguing. It is settled. 130 00:06:10,428 --> 00:06:13,584 I shall experience... some stuff! 131 00:06:13,756 --> 00:06:16,449 Excellent. Laki Station is nearby. 132 00:06:16,537 --> 00:06:17,731 It's a cargo depot, 133 00:06:17,819 --> 00:06:20,456 but it has its shareof diversions. 134 00:06:20,544 --> 00:06:22,685 I'm just gladl won't have to look at that thing anymore. 135 00:06:22,772 --> 00:06:24,660 What is it with you and black holes? 136 00:06:24,748 --> 00:06:26,488 Ever heard ofspaghettification? 137 00:06:26,576 --> 00:06:28,005 Oh, yeah, I did that once! 138 00:06:28,177 --> 00:06:31,287 Man, we went everywhere, nothing but sauce and starch. 139 00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:32,816 Nom-nom-nom-nom. 140 00:06:32,904 --> 00:06:34,105 I put on 20 pounds. 141 00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,162 Pam, not spaghetti vacation! 142 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,044 I'm talking about the scientific term 143 00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:40,292 for being sucked through a black hole's event horizon 144 00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:42,667 and being stretched into a thin strip of matter, 145 00:06:42,755 --> 00:06:45,644 screaming for eternity because of time dilation. 146 00:06:45,732 --> 00:06:47,794 Spaghettification! 147 00:06:48,091 --> 00:06:50,722 We called ours "Pastafari." 148 00:06:56,826 --> 00:06:57,896 Ahh! 149 00:06:58,005 --> 00:06:59,442 What are you doing in my inner sanct... 150 00:06:59,529 --> 00:07:02,917 Room where I sit quietlyand do nothing suspicious? 151 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,385 You come here to dream of electric sheep? 152 00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:07,838 Don't be a Dick. Androids can't dream. 153 00:07:07,926 --> 00:07:09,557 But we do think real hardabout them. 154 00:07:09,645 --> 00:07:11,799 And make illegal experimental weapons 155 00:07:11,887 --> 00:07:13,792 using our ship's supplies? 156 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,284 What? No, that's not... 157 00:07:15,372 --> 00:07:16,901 Laki Station is notorious 158 00:07:16,989 --> 00:07:18,565 for black market deals. 159 00:07:18,653 --> 00:07:20,627 I may just have a plan. 160 00:07:20,715 --> 00:07:22,331 - Stop that! - Oh, sorry. 161 00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:24,838 I was just... electric sheep. 162 00:07:24,926 --> 00:07:27,018 Like, do they plug in? 163 00:07:27,106 --> 00:07:28,588 My word. 164 00:07:28,676 --> 00:07:30,799 I knew the life cycle of a cow, 165 00:07:30,887 --> 00:07:33,081 the atomic structure of sucrose, 166 00:07:33,169 --> 00:07:34,924 but the experience! 167 00:07:35,012 --> 00:07:36,760 Yeah, well, ice cream is good. 168 00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:38,471 Not that good. 169 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,776 Unless you've got onethat's foreplay flavored. 170 00:07:40,864 --> 00:07:42,401 - Do they have that? - No. 171 00:07:42,489 --> 00:07:44,026 And let's keep it simple for now. 172 00:07:44,114 --> 00:07:45,410 I hear they have a greenhouse that might 173 00:07:45,497 --> 00:07:47,229 - be fun to walk through. - Good grief, 174 00:07:47,317 --> 00:07:48,463 there's more than this? 175 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:49,917 Yay, plants. 176 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:51,362 So what's the plan here? 177 00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:53,206 Stuff him in a cargo hold and bug out? 178 00:07:53,294 --> 00:07:55,700 No! Then he just blows up a bunch of other people. 179 00:07:55,788 --> 00:07:56,963 We can make this work. 180 00:07:57,051 --> 00:07:59,667 If we just find something he likes enough to live for. 181 00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:01,885 Oh, my God, you alwayshave to fix people, don't you? 182 00:08:01,973 --> 00:08:03,713 This is why our marriage didn't work! 183 00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:05,042 - Really? - It wasn't the fact 184 00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:07,307 that you slept with everything on two legs? 185 00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:09,340 Hm... not always two. 186 00:08:10,887 --> 00:08:12,698 This is a disaster. 187 00:08:12,786 --> 00:08:14,315 There's only two people here! 188 00:08:14,403 --> 00:08:16,733 - Didn't you pass out the brochures? - I did not. 189 00:08:16,821 --> 00:08:18,652 But the mix tape doesn't make any sense without... 190 00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:21,073 Oh, my God. 191 00:08:21,161 --> 00:08:22,627 You didn't send the mix tape? 192 00:08:22,715 --> 00:08:24,597 - ♪ Sometimes you want to have fun ♪ - ♪ Sometimes you want to have fun ♪ 193 00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:25,418 ♪ Have fun ♪ 194 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,223 - ♪ Sometimes you just need a gun ♪ - ♪ Sometimes you just need a gun ♪ 195 00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:28,684 - ♪ Blap-blap ♪ - ♪ Blap-blap ♪ 196 00:08:28,871 --> 00:08:31,010 The arms game is about connections, 197 00:08:31,098 --> 00:08:34,025 not your quasi-musical cry for help. 198 00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:36,713 This is allwindow dressing anyway. 199 00:08:36,801 --> 00:08:39,189 This is bush league right here. 200 00:08:39,277 --> 00:08:40,580 - Thank you! - Yeah. 201 00:08:40,681 --> 00:08:42,307 Hey, after this, let's hit the dead drop 202 00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:43,695 and then space taco. 203 00:08:43,783 --> 00:08:45,008 Mm, def. 204 00:08:45,096 --> 00:08:46,812 Oh, my God! Are you guys spies? 205 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,437 Oh, my God, yell it out, hello. 206 00:08:48,525 --> 00:08:49,969 Got it! Do you guys have, like, 207 00:08:50,057 --> 00:08:52,570 an internship or something? I'm very sneaky! 208 00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:55,329 - Mm-hmm. - I see you two have an eye. 209 00:08:55,417 --> 00:08:56,760 Let me show you the latest. 210 00:08:56,848 --> 00:08:59,369 Only for my special customers, you understand. 211 00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:01,947 Yeah, well, we are pretty special. 212 00:09:02,035 --> 00:09:04,633 The Plasmo blast Chaos Edition! 213 00:09:04,721 --> 00:09:05,976 Hold down the trigger, 214 00:09:06,064 --> 00:09:09,062 and it fires at wildly unpredictable intervals! 215 00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:11,297 - Why? - Revenge Body Armor! 216 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:14,211 When hit, it auto-injects you with painkillers 217 00:09:14,299 --> 00:09:15,898 and rage-inducingp harmaceuticals! 218 00:09:15,986 --> 00:09:17,156 Why... 219 00:09:17,244 --> 00:09:20,453 And finally, my magnum opus. 220 00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:22,765 The personalized, identity-locked 221 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,883 temporary singularity grenade. 222 00:09:24,971 --> 00:09:25,922 That all sounds... 223 00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:27,297 - So dumb. - Thank you. 224 00:09:27,385 --> 00:09:29,515 What's dumb about a temporary black hole 225 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,602 that sucks everything into it, then teleports itself 226 00:09:31,689 --> 00:09:33,494 to a random location in the galaxy? 227 00:09:33,588 --> 00:09:34,740 All of the words that you said 228 00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:35,958 in the order that you said them. 229 00:09:36,045 --> 00:09:37,094 And we're out. 230 00:09:37,182 --> 00:09:38,569 If I may step in... 231 00:09:38,656 --> 00:09:40,422 These are onlythe appetizers. 232 00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:43,601 I do in fact have accessto a weapon of great power. 233 00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:46,041 - What, a fart cannon? - Actually, I have one... 234 00:09:46,134 --> 00:09:49,322 No, something else. A doomsday device. 235 00:09:49,775 --> 00:09:50,907 The butterfly. 236 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,281 A remarkable illustration 237 00:09:53,369 --> 00:09:56,086 of the capacity of living things... 238 00:09:56,174 --> 00:09:57,545 to change. Cool. 239 00:09:57,632 --> 00:09:59,547 Hey, is that something you think you might be able to... 240 00:09:59,634 --> 00:10:00,976 What's going on, bud? 241 00:10:01,064 --> 00:10:03,414 Oh, I'm conversing with the butterfly 242 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:04,726 via pheromones. 243 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,944 I just asked it to say, "Please detonate." 244 00:10:07,032 --> 00:10:09,062 I thought you weren't gonna try to explode! 245 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,698 That's not... anything I said. 246 00:10:10,786 --> 00:10:12,614 Anyway, it was a hard pass. 247 00:10:12,789 --> 00:10:15,491 Much more foul-mouthed than I expected. 248 00:10:15,579 --> 00:10:17,822 Same to you, you bastard! 249 00:10:18,371 --> 00:10:20,002 Well, I guess we're safe. 250 00:10:20,089 --> 00:10:22,570 Until he finds a fruit flywith a death wish. 251 00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:25,916 So... would you be interested? 252 00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:29,316 Or, you can shoot plasmabolts at semi-random intervals. 253 00:10:29,485 --> 00:10:30,703 Ka-kow! 254 00:10:30,791 --> 00:10:32,580 Ka-ka-kow! 255 00:10:32,861 --> 00:10:34,582 I'll take doomsday. 256 00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:36,119 Ka-kow! 257 00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:39,384 What do you mean, "No?" 258 00:10:39,449 --> 00:10:41,650 The accepted opposite of, "Yes"? 259 00:10:41,738 --> 00:10:43,814 So we're not selling Mr. Deadly now? 260 00:10:43,902 --> 00:10:45,158 Won't those spies be angry? 261 00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:46,447 And more importantly, 262 00:10:46,535 --> 00:10:48,043 how does this affect our mix tape? 263 00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:49,746 Selling him would solve all our problems. 264 00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:52,287 He gets taken some where else and gets to explode. 265 00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:53,517 - We live. - Except for 266 00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:55,246 the billions of life forms he kills. 267 00:10:55,362 --> 00:10:56,845 Well, obviously, but they're kind of 268 00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,009 a sunk cost at this point. 269 00:10:58,097 --> 00:10:59,366 That is not what that means. 270 00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,181 Oh, um... arbitrage? 271 00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,736 We can't be held responsible 272 00:11:02,824 --> 00:11:05,197 for the actions of the people we sell weapons to! 273 00:11:05,296 --> 00:11:06,642 - Why not? - Because we'd have 274 00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:07,571 to stop doing it! 275 00:11:07,659 --> 00:11:08,785 Look, I think Mr. Deadly 276 00:11:08,873 --> 00:11:11,115 is makingsome real progress. 277 00:11:12,769 --> 00:11:14,293 The ice cream was good, 278 00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:16,439 and that was a very pretty bug, if rude, 279 00:11:16,527 --> 00:11:19,220 but fulfilling the purpose of my existence 280 00:11:19,308 --> 00:11:20,650 sounds a smidge better. 281 00:11:20,738 --> 00:11:23,767 But there must be something in the universe you wanna do. 282 00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:25,939 I've heard good things about whisky. 283 00:11:26,027 --> 00:11:27,132 Great job, Lana. 284 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,230 Now let's go get this bomb drunk. 285 00:11:29,332 --> 00:11:30,541 Lightweights. 286 00:11:30,629 --> 00:11:33,113 That was only like a half a bottle... 287 00:11:33,573 --> 00:11:35,053 of Quaaludes... 288 00:11:35,141 --> 00:11:37,186 that I dissolvedin their absinthe. 289 00:11:37,273 --> 00:11:38,285 Hmm... 290 00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:39,754 They may die. 291 00:11:39,972 --> 00:11:41,886 Oh! Mr. Deadly! 292 00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:43,591 That's what I was doing. 293 00:11:44,514 --> 00:11:47,674 I say, that tastes like an old boot on fire 294 00:11:47,762 --> 00:11:49,372 that I like in my mouth! 295 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:52,158 I know it's your first time, but you don't have to try 296 00:11:52,246 --> 00:11:53,689 literally every whisky they have. 297 00:11:53,777 --> 00:11:56,808 Um, could you say, "Please detonate"? 298 00:11:57,019 --> 00:11:59,361 Say nothing. Walk away. 299 00:11:59,449 --> 00:12:01,602 Almost got you. 300 00:12:01,893 --> 00:12:03,373 I'll have these six. 301 00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,186 Not 100% surethis is working. 302 00:12:05,274 --> 00:12:07,483 Let's just go findthose spies and pawn him off. 303 00:12:07,571 --> 00:12:08,803 One, that's evil. 304 00:12:08,891 --> 00:12:11,014 Two, we don't even know what they look like. 305 00:12:11,102 --> 00:12:13,527 Well, see that cat dudeand pouch master general? 306 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,748 They look exactly like that. 307 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,819 Doesn't look like they're here to haggle. 308 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,544 - Time to go. - And we're shuffling, 309 00:12:19,632 --> 00:12:21,480 and they're working together, and they're cutting us off, 310 00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:24,073 - and they're here. - Nice work, Tav. 311 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,433 What's up with all the fist bumping? 312 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,995 This is not a weapon! 313 00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:29,565 It is a living being who does not want... 314 00:12:29,653 --> 00:12:30,841 Who's taking me? You? 315 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,925 You? Ah, we'll figure it out. 316 00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:35,596 Thanks, Lana. It's been... a delay? 317 00:12:35,684 --> 00:12:37,206 But I'd like to explode now. 318 00:12:37,294 --> 00:12:39,307 Well, all that's left is for you to pay us 319 00:12:39,395 --> 00:12:41,105 and we'll leave this portion of the galaxy... 320 00:12:41,192 --> 00:12:43,637 Oh-ho-ho. You're not going anywhere. 321 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,573 I have a thing about loose ends. 322 00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:47,536 Is that why you have so many straps? 323 00:12:47,624 --> 00:12:49,995 Seriously, are you on your way to tie down a blimp? 324 00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:51,340 Hey! Time to leave. 325 00:12:51,428 --> 00:12:52,479 We tend to frown on 326 00:12:52,566 --> 00:12:54,245 threatening waiters with knives. 327 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:56,057 Sir, we're handling this. 328 00:12:56,145 --> 00:12:58,057 Oh, is that right, Tycho Brahe? 329 00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,008 Astronomy burn! 330 00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:02,393 Come on, did the groundwork for Copernicus. 331 00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,815 Had a metal nose. Tycho Brahe. 332 00:13:04,903 --> 00:13:06,895 Ooh, long way to go for that one. 333 00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:17,768 Hey, assholes. If he dies, he explodes! 334 00:13:17,856 --> 00:13:19,340 Well, you should have led with that! 335 00:13:19,428 --> 00:13:22,129 Oh, we're so sorry! 336 00:13:23,989 --> 00:13:25,120 God damn it. 337 00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:26,433 I think they usedyour stick thing! 338 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,057 It's called a quarterstaff. 339 00:13:28,145 --> 00:13:30,440 Fine, they usedyour quarterstaff. 340 00:13:30,528 --> 00:13:31,934 You have a gun! 341 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,051 We can lay low herefor a while. 342 00:13:36,411 --> 00:13:38,159 Aww, cheer up, dude. 343 00:13:38,247 --> 00:13:40,002 I bet you'll explode before you know it. 344 00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:42,909 Lana, you have snatched me from my destiny. 345 00:13:42,997 --> 00:13:44,541 Yeah, she is a huge buzzkill. 346 00:13:44,629 --> 00:13:46,596 Look, I'm very partially sorry about that. 347 00:13:46,684 --> 00:13:48,406 But we're gonna figure out what to do. 348 00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:50,757 Can you stay here for just a few minutes? 349 00:13:50,844 --> 00:13:53,036 Oh, great. I've waited thousands of years 350 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,909 so what's a few minutes? 351 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,418 - That's a yes, right? - Yes. 352 00:13:57,911 --> 00:14:00,174 So... what do we do? 353 00:14:00,653 --> 00:14:03,073 Oh! Oh, not this. 354 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,450 Just thought of another name for Spaghetti Vacation. 355 00:14:05,557 --> 00:14:08,416 If you tell it to me, Pam, I will literally kill you. 356 00:14:08,504 --> 00:14:10,473 Call it a one-way vacation to the void. 357 00:14:10,561 --> 00:14:12,429 - Wait, that's something. - Killing Pam? 358 00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:14,760 I was joking, but if you've got a good reason 359 00:14:14,848 --> 00:14:15,863 - I would... - No, these depotsall 360 00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:17,104 have a cargo railgun. 361 00:14:17,192 --> 00:14:19,080 - They're insanely powerful. - So? 362 00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,471 So we put him in it, 363 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,120 aim it up out of the galactic plane, 364 00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,463 and radio the order when he's at a safe distance. 365 00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:26,330 We'd have to get there without those goons 366 00:14:26,418 --> 00:14:27,276 intercepting us. 367 00:14:27,364 --> 00:14:29,450 Seems tough. They're very cool. 368 00:14:29,538 --> 00:14:30,670 They're not that cool. 369 00:14:30,797 --> 00:14:31,841 Okay, let's ask him. 370 00:14:31,929 --> 00:14:33,090 Ha! 371 00:14:33,178 --> 00:14:35,590 Teach you to lock me in a room. 372 00:14:36,366 --> 00:14:38,864 Because I locked you in a room! Ha-ha! 373 00:14:38,952 --> 00:14:40,245 Are you guys getting that? 374 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:42,495 I can't see if the irony is landing. 375 00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:44,518 Why not open the door and check? 376 00:14:44,606 --> 00:14:46,682 I can't, I smashed it. 377 00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,965 Okay, bye. 378 00:14:48,117 --> 00:14:49,534 Okay, bye. We're gonna die. 379 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,150 If we are, there's something I need you guys to know. 380 00:14:52,238 --> 00:14:54,450 "Ravioliday"! 381 00:14:55,369 --> 00:14:56,629 Worth it. 382 00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:00,051 I am ready. 383 00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:01,455 Take me! 384 00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:04,166 You may have some unhealthy associations 385 00:15:04,254 --> 00:15:05,629 with sex and death. 386 00:15:05,717 --> 00:15:07,582 Duh-hoi. 387 00:15:09,797 --> 00:15:10,885 Uh-huh. 388 00:15:10,996 --> 00:15:13,684 So you know you don'thave any junk, right? 389 00:15:13,772 --> 00:15:16,688 Well, if you give me a momentl'm sure I can grow one. 390 00:15:16,858 --> 00:15:18,723 Why don't you make it two. 391 00:15:21,945 --> 00:15:23,211 That was... 392 00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:24,669 My God! 393 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,395 Ugh! It's gonna be one of those. 394 00:15:26,483 --> 00:15:29,809 How can sensations that majestic and world shattering 395 00:15:29,897 --> 00:15:33,005 be contained in such strange dangly skin-bags? 396 00:15:33,092 --> 00:15:35,692 Did the world shatter for you in the first ten seconds, 397 00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:38,559 the second ten seconds, or huh, no other options! 398 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,590 Both! Benefit of two, I suppose. 399 00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:44,153 But, oddly, I find a limpid rush of passion in myself, 400 00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:46,686 and I must tell you... Sorry, what was your name? 401 00:15:46,774 --> 00:15:48,490 There's some debate on that. 402 00:15:48,577 --> 00:15:50,803 Well, whatever it is, I love you. 403 00:15:50,935 --> 00:15:52,655 Yes, well... nap. 404 00:15:52,764 --> 00:15:55,244 Can you at least tell me to detonate? 405 00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:56,671 God, can you stop your dumb mouth 406 00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,372 from talkingso I can sleep! 407 00:15:58,460 --> 00:15:59,473 Okay. 408 00:15:59,561 --> 00:16:01,434 Well, I'm gonna destroy you all now. 409 00:16:01,522 --> 00:16:04,253 As long as it's quiet! Rude! 410 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,038 What did you just do? 411 00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:08,522 I don't know. I wasn't listening either. 412 00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,364 Unfortunately, we were, 413 00:16:10,452 --> 00:16:12,755 and there are some things you can't unhear. 414 00:16:12,843 --> 00:16:15,059 Yeah, like why was it so squelchy? 415 00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:16,048 - Well... - Nope! 416 00:16:16,135 --> 00:16:17,266 Where did he go? 417 00:16:17,592 --> 00:16:18,592 Who? 418 00:16:18,897 --> 00:16:20,731 Let's see. Let's wind the footage back 419 00:16:20,819 --> 00:16:22,489 to the moment they left the cantina... 420 00:16:22,577 --> 00:16:23,731 Pff. Cantina? 421 00:16:23,819 --> 00:16:25,057 Barely a saloon. 422 00:16:25,397 --> 00:16:26,897 Or that. 423 00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:28,725 Last one to grab him buys tacos? 424 00:16:28,972 --> 00:16:31,536 Ugh! Set me up the whole way. 425 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,195 Ugh... Respect. 426 00:16:36,264 --> 00:16:38,287 We got to go! 427 00:16:38,374 --> 00:16:39,645 Give me a minute! 428 00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:41,661 I think I was just dead a little! 429 00:16:41,749 --> 00:16:44,981 ♪ Sometimes you just need a gun ♪ 430 00:16:45,069 --> 00:16:46,223 Damn that's catchy. 431 00:16:46,311 --> 00:16:48,114 Cheryl got out! And ruined everything. 432 00:16:48,202 --> 00:16:50,299 That second part probably goes without saying. 433 00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:52,301 How can you be so incompetent? 434 00:16:52,514 --> 00:16:54,801 Well, seeing as how you let a glue-sniffing 435 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,575 human death wish escape a closed vessel, 436 00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:58,122 maybe we're even! 437 00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:00,630 Even? Who paid for your first "massage" 438 00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:02,139 when you ran out of cash? 439 00:17:02,227 --> 00:17:04,786 Not to get in the middle of your Freudian nightmare, 440 00:17:04,874 --> 00:17:06,926 but just get Krieger ready with his weapons, 441 00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:08,709 and meet us outside the ship! 442 00:17:09,007 --> 00:17:10,450 Way ahead of you. 443 00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:11,889 Are you? 444 00:17:11,977 --> 00:17:13,715 Hate to be a pest but could you say, 445 00:17:13,803 --> 00:17:14,692 "Please Detonate?" 446 00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:16,760 - Uh, no thank you. - Ah-ha! 447 00:17:17,805 --> 00:17:19,951 Fantastic. And now this is happening. 448 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,266 Let's go! 449 00:17:21,531 --> 00:17:23,492 Ow. 450 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,279 Nice shooting, Tex, but if you kill him, 451 00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:26,683 nobody gets tacos. 452 00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:27,902 Oh, hi guys. 453 00:17:27,989 --> 00:17:29,795 Oh, hi. They're from the ship. 454 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,740 Yep. We are here to stop you. 455 00:17:31,828 --> 00:17:34,109 Is that a kimono? 456 00:17:34,648 --> 00:17:38,461 These are experimental prototypes. 457 00:17:38,555 --> 00:17:40,248 I call gun! Big gun, here. 458 00:17:40,336 --> 00:17:41,951 That leaves Pam the temporary... 459 00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:43,224 Don't need it, dick-nuts. 460 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,240 - My body is a weapon. - Speaking of which. 461 00:17:45,328 --> 00:17:47,508 The temporary singularity grenade? 462 00:17:47,596 --> 00:17:48,625 Why would you make that? 463 00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:50,766 Why not just give usan ancient horn that summons 464 00:17:50,859 --> 00:17:53,467 Cthulhu's older, shittier step-brother? 465 00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:56,156 Well, it imprinted on younow, so no one else can use it. 466 00:17:56,244 --> 00:17:58,176 Seems like a needless precaution. 467 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,136 So where do you think they are? 468 00:18:00,223 --> 00:18:03,799 I find it's good practice to follow the sound of gunfire. 469 00:18:03,887 --> 00:18:05,319 That hadn't happened yet! 470 00:18:05,407 --> 00:18:08,985 Oh, suppressing fire! 471 00:18:09,073 --> 00:18:11,014 Ah, ah, ah! 472 00:18:11,102 --> 00:18:13,358 Yelling "suppressing fire" kind of defeats the point. 473 00:18:13,446 --> 00:18:15,109 We're supposed to think you're aiming at us. 474 00:18:15,196 --> 00:18:17,655 You know what, actually, I'm saying it to my teammates, 475 00:18:17,743 --> 00:18:18,797 so they know. 476 00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:21,078 Ah-ah-ah! 477 00:18:21,469 --> 00:18:23,491 Admit you underestimated me. 478 00:18:23,579 --> 00:18:25,194 Get off my head, you bitch! 479 00:18:25,282 --> 00:18:26,858 They're actually doing okay. 480 00:18:26,946 --> 00:18:29,389 I might have a tiny bitmore respect for them. 481 00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:30,936 Don't ever tell them I said that. 482 00:18:31,024 --> 00:18:33,444 There is so much so deeply wrong with you. 483 00:18:33,532 --> 00:18:35,163 And you married me. 484 00:18:35,251 --> 00:18:36,530 Doesn't reflect great on you. 485 00:18:36,618 --> 00:18:38,813 Aww, can I keep him? 486 00:18:40,106 --> 00:18:42,049 How long before they notice... 487 00:18:42,893 --> 00:18:45,416 "We're-we're gone," is what I was gonna say. 488 00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:49,430 So what's all this then? 489 00:18:49,518 --> 00:18:51,141 Cargo railgun, we shoot you, 490 00:18:51,229 --> 00:18:52,578 transmit signal, boom. 491 00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:55,468 - Oh, finally. - Wait, where's Pam? 492 00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,305 The invisible fist. 493 00:19:00,393 --> 00:19:01,727 That could be my code name. 494 00:19:01,815 --> 00:19:04,219 So what do you say, I'm your scrappy apprentice, 495 00:19:04,307 --> 00:19:05,899 and you're mygruff-but-loveable... 496 00:19:05,987 --> 00:19:07,375 Ahhh! Ow! 497 00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:09,117 I'll think about it. 498 00:19:09,205 --> 00:19:12,252 Oh, that is good pouchwork. 499 00:19:15,018 --> 00:19:16,750 Get in there. We'll send the "please det..." 500 00:19:16,838 --> 00:19:17,930 Archer, come on. 501 00:19:18,018 --> 00:19:19,938 Whoops, that would have been hilarious. 502 00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:21,703 We'll send you the message 503 00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,742 once you're out of the galactic plane. 504 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,211 Ahh! Jesus, Archer. 505 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,742 You ever look before you shoot? 506 00:19:27,830 --> 00:19:28,923 Sometimes. 507 00:19:30,322 --> 00:19:32,024 Don't hit Mr. Deadly! 508 00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:33,578 Yeah, aiming at you guys. 509 00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,508 Thanks for being so conscientious. 510 00:19:46,432 --> 00:19:48,658 You saved me. 511 00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:52,017 You overcame your simple biological impulse to live. 512 00:19:52,152 --> 00:19:53,613 Just tryingto do what's right. 513 00:19:59,585 --> 00:20:01,359 Jesus Christ, lady! 514 00:20:01,447 --> 00:20:05,021 Don't call me lady! 515 00:20:05,814 --> 00:20:07,200 Well, have a nice death. 516 00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:09,841 Just give me the receiver so you can transmit the order. 517 00:20:09,929 --> 00:20:12,114 - The what? - It's a cargo container. 518 00:20:12,202 --> 00:20:14,294 Do you want me to bring along string and a can? 519 00:20:14,382 --> 00:20:16,093 Goddamn it. 520 00:20:16,428 --> 00:20:19,585 Oh, so now you're a gesture expert. 521 00:20:26,956 --> 00:20:29,266 Whoa, smells like stir-Friday in here. 522 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,680 Why did you do that? 523 00:20:30,775 --> 00:20:33,635 I need to feel their blood on my... ah. 524 00:20:33,729 --> 00:20:37,118 Ohh, this is the best I've ever felt. 525 00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:39,454 Yeah, you're probably gonna want to check into rehab. 526 00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:41,790 Like immediately. You forgot this. 527 00:20:41,878 --> 00:20:44,665 I came as quick as I could. You know, after they died. 528 00:20:44,753 --> 00:20:47,079 You are a paragon of bravery. 529 00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:48,962 All right, let's shoot you into space. 530 00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:50,985 - One moment. - Oh, come on! 531 00:20:51,073 --> 00:20:53,649 Lana's act of selflessness inspired me. 532 00:20:53,737 --> 00:20:55,821 She was willing to give her life for others, 533 00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:58,433 and that gives me the courage to change. 534 00:20:58,612 --> 00:21:00,626 I choose life. 535 00:21:00,714 --> 00:21:03,196 I guess this means no tacos. 536 00:21:03,284 --> 00:21:05,063 Is that supposedto be a joke? 537 00:21:05,151 --> 00:21:06,869 I didn't mean to make it weird. 538 00:21:06,956 --> 00:21:08,682 How's this for weird? 539 00:21:08,770 --> 00:21:11,208 Please detonate. 540 00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:12,826 - No! - Don't detonate! 541 00:21:14,903 --> 00:21:18,073 I think my change of heart may have diffused me. 542 00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,026 Only now do I see that 543 00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:23,227 when one's purpose is evil, achieving that... 544 00:21:25,802 --> 00:21:27,883 Archer, you've gotto use this. 545 00:21:27,971 --> 00:21:30,844 I don't want to be eternal spaghetti, Lana. 546 00:21:30,970 --> 00:21:33,579 For once, think of anyone other than yourself. 547 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,292 Aghh! Fine! 548 00:22:00,023 --> 00:22:01,779 - I'm alive! - We're alive! 549 00:22:01,867 --> 00:22:03,328 Close one, right guys? 550 00:22:03,477 --> 00:22:04,746 Yeah, great. 551 00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:07,381 I think I twisted my ankle. Thanks, Lana. 552 00:22:07,469 --> 00:22:09,678 So where exactly did they go? 553 00:22:09,766 --> 00:22:11,145 It's semi-random, 554 00:22:11,232 --> 00:22:12,799 but I could try to back-calculate it... 555 00:22:12,886 --> 00:22:14,569 I'd kind of prefer to not know 556 00:22:14,657 --> 00:22:16,305 if we wiped out several thriving 557 00:22:16,393 --> 00:22:18,091 and culturally complex civilizations. 558 00:22:18,179 --> 00:22:20,225 - Yeah, I mean, me too. - All right. 559 00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:27,118 We don't know that was us. 560 00:22:28,978 --> 00:22:31,076 Sync corrections by srjanapala 561 00:22:48,977 --> 00:22:51,992 Made in Georgia. 562 00:22:52,305 --> 00:22:58,236 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org