1
00:00:01,980 --> 00:00:05,720
Archer: Antarctica...
icy graveyard of hubris,
2
00:00:05,750 --> 00:00:07,550
not hostile to humanity,
3
00:00:07,580 --> 00:00:09,650
but worse...
utterly indifferent,
4
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,450
a blank wall at the edge
of the universe,
5
00:00:12,670 --> 00:00:15,200
defying us to find meaning in it.
6
00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:19,000
So you can see why
I'm not going.
7
00:00:19,030 --> 00:00:22,000
For God's... the antenna
at McMurdo Station is down.
8
00:00:22,030 --> 00:00:25,315
All we've heard is a garbled
transmission about a murder,
9
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:28,300
and two days ago,
we detected an unidentified...
10
00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:29,670
- [gulping]
- Really?
11
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:31,100
- You need a pickleback?
- Do you?
12
00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,300
- I...
- We're as concerned
13
00:00:32,330 --> 00:00:34,670
about McMurdo
as the average citizen is,
14
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,630
but we run a business.
15
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,200
Obviously,
we're extremely concerned
16
00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:39,770
- about the consequences.
- Are you?
17
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,200
The death of everyone
on Antarctica,
18
00:00:42,230 --> 00:00:45,030
the loss of research
that may save the planet,
19
00:00:45,070 --> 00:00:46,530
and a flaw in the ice cap
20
00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:48,600
that could doom us
in the short-term?
21
00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:52,700
Sure, those, but does this
look like a nonprofit?
22
00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:56,370
Yeah, one that distributes
liquor to needy child-men.
23
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,400
Hey!
It happens to be man-child!
24
00:00:58,430 --> 00:01:00,130
And now I'm craving a pickleback,
25
00:01:00,170 --> 00:01:02,700
- so thanks for that.
- For the last few years,
26
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:06,070
this organization
had a newfound reputation
27
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:10,100
for effectiveness and ethical conduct.
What happened?
28
00:01:10,130 --> 00:01:12,500
Uh, I woke up,
and we got awesome again.
29
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:16,000
Jesus, Lana,
how far you've fallen.
30
00:01:16,030 --> 00:01:18,300
- Uh, I'm sorry?
- Some history here?
31
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:19,770
I honestly have no idea
what's happening right now.
32
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,170
Oh, please. It's Sandra.
33
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,570
You were the star of the
environmental science department,
34
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,600
sucking up all the grants
and funding
35
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:30,430
like a selfish vampire,
then skipping out,
36
00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:33,270
leaving our department
blacklisted for grants
37
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:38,600
- for the next five years.
- Oh. Grad school Sandra.
38
00:01:38,630 --> 00:01:40,530
Yeah, I still don't know
who you are.
39
00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:42,600
Oof.
Nothing worse than a nemesis
40
00:01:42,630 --> 00:01:44,130
who doesn't know you exist...
41
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:46,170
like playing air guitar
with your entire life.
42
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,230
Why don't you all take a deep breath?
[helicopter approaching]
43
00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,400
There's wonderful oxygen
right outside my office.
44
00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:54,130
Guys! Guys!
It's landing on the building!
45
00:01:54,170 --> 00:01:55,200
Wait, but we don't have a...
46
00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:56,670
[crashes, rumbles]
47
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,330
"Helipad" is what
I was gonna say.
48
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,400
- Trip: Uh-huh.
- Oh, hey, Trip.
49
00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:04,030
- I didn't know that you were coming.
- No. Sure, sure.
50
00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:06,470
As the major private donor
to McMurdo,
51
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,700
I am determined to solve
this crisis at all costs.
52
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:13,100
Funny, that's exactly
the number of costs we charge.
53
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:15,370
I'm taking your full team
to McMurdo.
54
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,630
Severe winds there right now,
so we'll have to take my sub.
55
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,430
- You have a submarine?
- Hey, bud.
56
00:02:20,470 --> 00:02:23,270
I love humanity,
but in a warming world
57
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:27,400
on the brink of anarchy,
an exit strategy is only sensible.
58
00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:31,230
We, of course, are very familiar
with your technology ventures.
59
00:02:31,270 --> 00:02:33,100
Including those floating
mini-cities.
60
00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:35,300
Didn't you blow a ton of money
designing those?
61
00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:36,600
In a warming world...
62
00:02:36,630 --> 00:02:38,070
- Yes, we get it.
- Archer: We get it.
63
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,600
Why are you so concerned
with McMurdo?
64
00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:42,370
I've spent time
with the people of McMurdo,
65
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,770
and they truly are my family.
66
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,530
My guess is one of those freaks
went eco-terrorist,
67
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:49,600
and I need to protect
my investment.
68
00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:51,600
Really?
Any evidence for that?
69
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,070
Don't need it, because I have
something better... vision.
70
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,730
Though, not quite enough
vision to see
71
00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:58,100
that we don't have a helipad.
72
00:02:58,130 --> 00:03:00,770
When you're innovative enough,
everything's a helipad.
73
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,330
[rumbling, thudding]
74
00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:06,570
Hard to argue with that.
[laughs]
75
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:11,090
[main title theme]
76
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:19,074
Who are the real-world Illuminati ?
Find out @ saveanilluminati.com
77
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:44,263
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
78
00:03:44,399 --> 00:03:46,199
[wind blowing]
79
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,530
Archer: Place your bet, folks.
80
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,630
Thawed alien monstrosity?
Uh, flesh-eating virus?
81
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,100
[gasps]
Demon possession.
82
00:03:52,130 --> 00:03:53,530
- Sex worms!
- Look.
83
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,630
All we've got to do
is make sure everyone is okay.
84
00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:58,400
- Other than the murder victim.
- So we solve the murder,
85
00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:00,260
we fix the antenna,
and then we get out of here
86
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:01,700
before our nipples
rip through our clothing.
87
00:04:01,730 --> 00:04:04,500
Ooh, multi-dimensional
hell-beast that confronts us
88
00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:06,100
with the horror
of our own existence?
89
00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:08,400
No, Mother's still on the sub.
90
00:04:08,430 --> 00:04:10,530
- Trip: But why?
- I'll go when they train
91
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:15,530
penguins to mix a decent French 75
and not a moment before.
92
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,000
- I'll be in the bar.
- And I just don't like
93
00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:20,500
being places, you know.
94
00:04:20,530 --> 00:04:23,230
Okay, but how can you help
from the sub?
95
00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:25,400
- Help what?
- Lana: Oh, I don't know,
96
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:27,000
maybe putting our stuff
on the sledge.
97
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,660
I'm dealing with
my own supplies, Lana.
98
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,530
- Is that just booze in there?
- No! For your information,
99
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,530
there's also a huge amount
of pickle juice.
100
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,530
Seriously, you got me fiending.
101
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,430
Welcome to the most
beautiful place on Earth.
102
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,500
Yep, just narrowly edged out
the walk-in freezer at IHOP.
103
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,700
[clears throat]
This is Rex, chief of station.
104
00:04:45,730 --> 00:04:48,400
And this is baby Lamont.
105
00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:51,530
I am not saying hello
to a flightless bird.
106
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,630
Your loss and also Lamont's.
[Lamont cooing]
107
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,560
He's sensitive.
You just bought me an hour
108
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,160
of tummy rubs tonight.
109
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,400
Hey there, sailor,
you giving those out for free?
110
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:03,000
Yes, penguins
don't use currency.
111
00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:06,530
So are you here for the antenna
repair or for the murder?
112
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,260
Both: We need to get a handle
on the situation.
113
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,560
Gather everyone on base
for questioning.
114
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,230
Krieger here will attempt
to repair the main antenna.
115
00:05:14,260 --> 00:05:15,660
But right now,
you need to get me inside
116
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:17,360
because if I get any colder,
117
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,160
I'm gonna literally
murder someone.
118
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,700
- Oh! Sorry. Too soon?
- He was my friend.
119
00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:24,660
But come on,
it's not like there were
120
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,700
- a ton of options out here.
- [Cheryl groans]
121
00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:29,500
It's like an oat milk orgy
in here.
122
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,630
A half-bottle
of substandard vodka?
123
00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:34,260
I don't drink alcohol.
124
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:37,000
I need every brain cell
at top capacity
125
00:05:37,030 --> 00:05:39,030
when my mind is uploaded
to the cloud.
126
00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:40,660
Which means we'll need
the vodka
127
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,360
- to deal with you until then.
- [laughs]
128
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,530
He thinks alcohol
goes in your brain.
129
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,130
You use your mouth.
130
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,230
But, please,
do not leave this area.
131
00:05:51,260 --> 00:05:54,400
- Does that seem fishy to you?
- [sniffs]
132
00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:56,530
I mean, it's not like
you're not gonna drink it.
133
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,400
[gulping]
134
00:05:58,430 --> 00:05:59,530
Lana:
I'm not saying you're wrong.
135
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,000
I just think
we want them looking
136
00:06:01,030 --> 00:06:02,500
at the pickaxes, so they're, you know,
137
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:04,400
- "facing their crime."
- Oh.
138
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:07,960
- What about ropes to symbolize...
- Shh! I'm getting into character.
139
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,300
As a douchebag?
I think you're there.
140
00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:12,130
Lana, please.
We are in the midst
141
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,130
of a closed-door whodunnit,
so forgive me
142
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,360
for actually enjoying my work.
143
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,660
- No.
- Rex: What do you mean, "no"?
144
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:20,530
I don't deal well with dead bodies,
145
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,660
so maybe I should... ahh!
146
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:25,530
- God, it's worse than I thought!
- What's with him?
147
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,660
Well, after turning his life
around while Archer was in a coma,
148
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:31,130
he's fallen back
into some old habits.
149
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,160
Like being a whiny little bitch!
150
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,130
Keep it together.
You're a man!
151
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,660
Yeah, that's the thing
about real men...
152
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:39,260
- always saying they're men.
- [sighs]
153
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:42,100
Sharp entrance wound, no evidence
of sawing or slicing.
154
00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:43,960
We're looking at a single blow,
angled downward.
155
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,530
My verdict... this wasn't
a murder at all!
156
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:50,160
- It was an icicle!
- This was next to the body.
157
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,430
[laughs] Oh, the shame.
Just sit in it.
158
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:56,130
- It's a pretty standard move.
- Oh, I'm... I'm Gray.
159
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,960
I've spent most of the last
15 years with penguins.
160
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,000
- I kind of forget how to...
- Be a person?
161
00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:02,160
[snaps finger]
162
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:07,160
- I am Dr. Gertrude Rilsa.
- Wow. That was intensely sinister.
163
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,100
Yeah, do you have
a vocal setting
164
00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:11,230
where it doesn't seem like
you're about to kill us?
165
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,660
I will humanize myself.
166
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,400
I study how the isolation
of a small group
167
00:07:16,430 --> 00:07:18,430
affects willingness to engage
168
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:22,000
in increasingly deviant
sexual behaviors...
169
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:25,230
with robots...
on drugs.
170
00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:26,500
- Wow!
- The robots?
171
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,130
Do we introduce her
to Krieger or would that...
172
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,360
Bring about the death of humanity
173
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,660
in a cyber-sexual apocalypse?
Hard yes.
174
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,400
Yes... no. I mean, yes.
No, I... I didn't do it.
175
00:07:34,430 --> 00:07:35,660
I'm second in command
of this base,
176
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:38,230
and I do everything by the book.
177
00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:40,100
- Um, name?
- Maddox.
178
00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,660
Sorry, little jumpy.
Whoo!
179
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:47,400
- Uh, hey, that's okay. It's a stressful sit...
- It wasn't me, goddamn it!
180
00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:50,500
Kinski: Playing at detectives,
they must face death
181
00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:55,160
in all her guises, both that
of the victim and their own.
182
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,400
You, uh... you wanna
turn that off?
183
00:07:57,430 --> 00:08:00,130
I am afraid that is not possible.
184
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,130
[gulps] We were all in the
common area.
185
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,560
Maddox: Bob left first.
186
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,660
We didn't see him
for the rest of the night.
187
00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:09,846
Rex: Then I think Gray left
for a while.
188
00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:13,290
Ah! He must have left
to do some light murdering, then...
189
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:16,090
He went to my experimental
robot den
190
00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:19,560
to engage in his
ultimate fantasy.
191
00:08:19,590 --> 00:08:22,130
Gray is great,
but let's just say
192
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,090
- I don't leave him alone with Lamont.
- I think we get it.
193
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,790
He wants to fornicate
with penguins.
194
00:08:26,830 --> 00:08:30,090
Did you know penguins
mate for life?
195
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:32,260
- Fantastic.
- Did anyone else leave
196
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:34,630
- after Gray?
- Sure, I left for a while.
197
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:38,090
Oh, ho, ho, ho.
Very interesting.
198
00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:40,660
- I did, twice.
- I left four times.
199
00:08:40,690 --> 00:08:43,430
Thank you. This has
all been very unhelpful.
200
00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:46,660
- Worse murder suspects ever.
- Perhaps not.
201
00:08:46,690 --> 00:08:51,260
I went outside to document
the desolate, inky night...
202
00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:52,660
Well, I'll notify the consulate
203
00:08:52,690 --> 00:08:55,360
of the great nation
of I-don't-care-istan.
204
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:59,230
Whilst pouring over footage,
I found I had captured
205
00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:02,760
Maddox exiting the murder
location at the time of death.
206
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:05,390
- Why didn't you tell us before?
- Who can say?
207
00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:08,130
Trying to understand
the human motives
208
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:12,625
only leads to a labyrinth
of madness and chaos.
209
00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:15,260
- Both: Shut up!
- Archer: Oh, shut up!
210
00:09:15,290 --> 00:09:17,630
All right, let's announce
our next contestant
211
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:21,560
on "Did You Commit Murder?"
212
00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:24,530
And Maddox, come on down!
213
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,390
[overlapping chatter]
214
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:29,030
Archer: Pam, come on!
You were supposed to get everyone.
215
00:09:29,065 --> 00:09:29,660
That was a big moment.
216
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,400
- Maddox ain't coming.
- Did she bolt?
217
00:09:31,430 --> 00:09:33,430
No, dummy.
She just got murdered.
218
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:37,140
- [overlapping murmurs]
- My God, this is terrible.
219
00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:39,400
Seriously, that totally ruins
my game-show thing.
220
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,270
- Really? That's the problem?
- Um...
221
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,240
I made a Plinko board!
222
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,590
Archer: Guys, we're sure
Plinko wouldn't be useful here?
223
00:09:53,630 --> 00:09:56,790
- No!
- So Maddox wasn't the murderer.
224
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,490
- Ya think?
- Rex: Look.
225
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:00,730
If we're going to solve this,
it's not going to be
226
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,060
by engaging in petty squabbles!
227
00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,630
Man, you don't know us at all.
228
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:07,230
Can you think of any motive
for the murder?
229
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:09,130
I don't know... any research
worth killing over?
230
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,120
Don't be ridiculous.
Our main study has been mapping
231
00:10:13,121 --> 00:10:16,770
the depth of ice sheets,
using small explosive charges.
232
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,700
Congratulations.
You just made explosives boring.
233
00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,970
Well, they found a flaw
in the ice sheet,
234
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,170
which would be catastrophic
if it gave way...
235
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,830
a hundred years of sea level
rise in ten minutes.
236
00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:29,370
Wow. I stand corrected.
237
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:33,170
That is in fact so boring,
the word "boring" just killed itself.
238
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,430
Krieger, can you examine
these bodies?
239
00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:37,130
- We need a clue.
- Okay, but these days,
240
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,700
I've got more practice
with cephalopod bodies.
241
00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:41,230
What the hell happens
in that lab?
242
00:10:41,270 --> 00:10:43,700
Okay, Archer and I are gonna
go search Maddox's quarters.
243
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,230
- I'll give you a hand.
- No, you will not. You're a suspect.
244
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:49,870
And just what are we
expected to do?
245
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:53,000
Oh, no, Rexy,
Big Mama lost again.
246
00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:55,900
What am I gonna
have to take off now?
247
00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:59,685
- Strip solitaire is not a thing!
- Gray: I'm out.
248
00:10:59,686 --> 00:11:02,030
- Cyril: What?
- Yeah, on people. I'm out.
249
00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:07,270
- I can see that. So what now?
- Isn't it obvious?
250
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,030
- Prison tats!
- Exact... no!
251
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,170
We find something else to drink!
252
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,300
I don't care what Trip says.
253
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:16,030
No one plans for an apocalypse
254
00:11:16,070 --> 00:11:19,830
- without a stash of the good stuff.
- [gasps] This is a coke sub?
255
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:21,270
No, I mean, liquor.
256
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,970
- Why would they smuggle liquor?
- They don't.
257
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,830
So where's the cocaine, lady?
258
00:11:25,870 --> 00:11:28,770
It's called logic.
Look into it.
259
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,970
Sandra: Into what? We don't
even know what we're looking for.
260
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,430
Yes, well,
you've certainly pinpointed
261
00:11:33,470 --> 00:11:35,170
the very nature of a clue.
262
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,000
The question is, who had
the time to ransack the place
263
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,970
after the murder
but before Pam announced it?
264
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,120
No, not necessarily. They
could have tossed the place
265
00:11:43,121 --> 00:11:45,230
- before they killed her.
- Shut up, both of you,
266
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:47,270
with this deductive timeline
circle jerk.
267
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:48,830
Wait a minute.
Weren't you the one
268
00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:50,900
reveling in this
closed-door whodunnit?
269
00:11:50,930 --> 00:11:53,100
Before it became
a stupid logic puzzle.
270
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:56,370
- Who am I, Bernard Bolzano?
- So what do you suggest?
271
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,300
We need to get back
to our instincts,
272
00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:01,598
- like, uh, this, I guess.
- Give me that!
273
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,000
This is Maddox's notebook,
274
00:12:04,030 --> 00:12:06,270
and there are a bunch
of pages ripped out.
275
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:09,750
- But before that... [shrieks]
- She went out on the ice,
276
00:12:09,751 --> 00:12:12,000
- and she found something, and she was...
- With Rex.
277
00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:14,270
- Oh!
- Feel that power.
278
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,730
[groaning]
279
00:12:15,770 --> 00:12:19,130
And I'm going to do that
every two minutes
280
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:21,900
until you let us out.
281
00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:25,300
And his anguish
was not just in his genitals.
282
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:29,300
- It was in his soul.
- Jesus, Cyril.
283
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:31,000
You leave your nuts
in your other uterus?
284
00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:34,270
No! It's abundantly
clear they're still here.
285
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,300
Seriously,
what happened to you?
286
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:39,030
Archer happened to me!
Can't you all see that?!
287
00:12:39,070 --> 00:12:40,900
He, like, drags you back
to your worst self
288
00:12:40,930 --> 00:12:43,100
like some kind of horrible
reverse therapist!
289
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,300
Uh, whatever, dude.
I feel great.
290
00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:47,230
Girl, if you were
any more on the prowl,
291
00:12:47,270 --> 00:12:49,300
there'd be an APB out
on your cooch.
292
00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:51,230
You see me backsliding?
293
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,230
I don't even want it anymore.
294
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:55,400
I gotta keep eating it
to fill the void
295
00:12:55,430 --> 00:12:58,370
that eating it creates,
like a snake eating
296
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,170
- its chocolaty delicious tail.
- Um, hi.
297
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,430
Can you come with me to the garage?
298
00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:04,400
Things are getting creepy,
and I'd feel better
299
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:06,130
- with an escort.
- [munching noisily]
300
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,170
No, you do not see that.
301
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,030
You're right.
I'll... I'll stand up to him.
302
00:13:11,070 --> 00:13:12,970
Archer: Hey, Cyril,
if you could stop masturbating
303
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,770
for a second,
send Pam over with Rex.
304
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,217
Also, you suck.
305
00:13:16,252 --> 00:13:18,270
[both laughing]
306
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,730
[Pam laughing]
307
00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,900
Oh!
Innapropski.
308
00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:24,970
Rex, my man.
There he is.
309
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,270
Hey, can you hand Lamont
over to Pam?
310
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,370
- Oh!
- Archer: We know you did it, asshole!
311
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,300
[gasps]
Let go of my beautiful polar bear!
312
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:35,100
Maddox's notebook said
you went out on the ice
313
00:13:35,130 --> 00:13:37,030
to investigate some blip
after the flyover.
314
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:38,830
That doesn't mean I killed her!
315
00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:41,100
Good point.
One second.
316
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:44,000
Rex: But there could be
any number
317
00:13:44,030 --> 00:13:45,970
of reasons we're radioactive.
318
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,300
Oh, I know, and it also explains
319
00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:51,100
the penguin excrement
on the ice ax!
320
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:53,370
Damn it, Lamont!
[Lamont coos]
321
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,770
- [groans]
- Malory: It's true.
322
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,100
I've had bottles smuggled
into Yemen in a camel's ass.
323
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,300
You only drink what's inside, darling.
324
00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:03,400
So this doesn't seem at all
undignified to you?
325
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:04,730
- Why should it?
- Trip: Uh-huh. Sure.
326
00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:07,170
[gasps]
Quick, the closet!
327
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,700
Things are in motion.
Just a bit of a cash crunch.
328
00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:13,430
I can say there's gonna
be a huge demand
329
00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:15,770
for my floating cities very soon.
330
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,300
[snickering]
331
00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:18,870
[cell phone beeping]
332
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,770
Pull the snowmobiles
out of cargo bay.
333
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,730
We have the location
of the package,
334
00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:27,170
and I need Team Alpha out
in force... armed to the teeth.
335
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,900
Now that's fishy
because of the floating cities!
336
00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:32,870
They're on water,
where fish live!
337
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:37,900
Ah, looks like I have insurance
if your team starts to meddle.
338
00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:40,370
And can you possibly whisper
any louder?
339
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,970
[in loud whisper] Yes, obviously!
What is with this guy?
340
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,970
Seriously, what's so important
that you had to kill two people?
341
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,430
First off, it's not two.
342
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:52,000
And... wait.
You don't know?
343
00:14:52,030 --> 00:14:53,870
[Lamont coos]
Oh, I am sorry.
344
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:56,700
This has been a massive
communication failure.
345
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,030
So you didn't kill Bob!
346
00:14:58,070 --> 00:15:00,170
Oh, no,
I totally killed that asshole.
347
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:04,830
This all gets a little confusing,
so just stay with me.
348
00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:06,770
There was
an unauthorized flyover,
349
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,400
and I noticed on radar
350
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:10,300
that the plane
dropped something.
351
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:13,100
So Maddox and I went
out to see what it was.
352
00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:15,000
It was a hydrogen bomb.
353
00:15:15,030 --> 00:15:17,100
We figured someone
had dropped it as a way
354
00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:19,430
to transfer it, since they're
impossible to smuggle.
355
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:23,700
So Maddox and I took it back
and stashed it.
356
00:15:23,730 --> 00:15:26,170
That night, while we were
deciding what to do,
357
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,270
we discovered Bob
sabotaging the antenna.
358
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,430
He was trying to isolate the base,
359
00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:34,400
and then he discovered us
discovering him.
360
00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:39,300
[groaning]
[grunts]
361
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:43,030
Rex: So when you guys got here,
I thought you were in on it.
362
00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:45,230
So where did you stash it?
363
00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:47,370
Wait. Oh, my God!
364
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,900
- Are we in...
- Rex: Shackleton's Hut,
365
00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:53,870
historically preserved
exactly as it was in 1908.
366
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:57,400
Well... almost exactly.
367
00:15:57,430 --> 00:16:00,130
Uh, wow. What are you
guys doing down here?
368
00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:03,130
Oh, making moonshine,
hydroponic marijuana,
369
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:06,130
amateur pornography...
you know, for the fans.
370
00:16:06,170 --> 00:16:08,230
And to think
I had a crush on you.
371
00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:11,000
Heh. And now I love you.
372
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:13,900
Maddox and I
stashed it right here.
373
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:15,430
Malory: Nothing!
374
00:16:15,470 --> 00:16:18,770
That's what I've got to show
for this whole trip!
375
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,170
Tell me about it! You
wouldn't even give me a tattoo.
376
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,230
Look, let's all just...
377
00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:26,900
- [grunting]
- Put the gun down.
378
00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:30,770
- So, hi. And stab.
- Ahh! Are you serious?
379
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,030
- Seriously, you are nuts.
- Winters get pretty long.
380
00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:36,170
Malory: Sterling,
Trip is planning something.
381
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,430
I don't know what, but I have
a few pieces of the puzzle.
382
00:16:39,470 --> 00:16:42,441
Excellent. Okay.
Everybody shut up and focus.
383
00:16:42,476 --> 00:16:44,900
We must meticulously
walk through
384
00:16:44,930 --> 00:16:46,900
every piece of information
we've gathered,
385
00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:49,900
explore every doubt
until we've cracked the case.
386
00:16:49,930 --> 00:16:55,300
It will be a long, slow plod
of a conversation.
387
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:58,170
If everyone is ready...
let's begin.
388
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,300
[ominous music]
389
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:06,230
So, in summary,
Trip's putting a hydrogen bomb
390
00:17:06,270 --> 00:17:09,770
on the flaw to destroy the ice
sheet to sell floating cities.
391
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,170
Wow, that wasn't so long.
392
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,370
Well, I guess
there's only one question now.
393
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,870
Yeah.
394
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,851
What kind of porn?
395
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:21,170
[dramatic music]
396
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,200
[Lamont cooing]
397
00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:25,330
Archer: Man, I'm actually
jealous of the guys at the Alamo.
398
00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:27,330
At least they had access
to good Mexican food.
399
00:17:27,370 --> 00:17:28,730
I don't think that they did.
400
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:30,400
But anyway, if we fail,
we're dead, so...
401
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,470
Thank you, Sergeant Sunshine, but, yeah,
402
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:36,070
- we are way outgunned.
- I think we can help with that.
403
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:38,270
The salt water of the pickle
juice acts as a conductor.
404
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,900
When the glass breaks,
the circuit completes,
405
00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:42,230
and it blows
one of the charges.
406
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,100
And this is our moonshine,
creating the...
407
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:48,498
- Ultimate pickleback.
- Jesus Christ.
408
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,330
Archer: Hey, uh, anyone know
what's going on?
409
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:53,770
They should be coming
straight toward us.
410
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,930
There's no other way
off Antarctica.
411
00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:58,770
Trip does not strike me
as the noble suicide type.
412
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,430
[laughs] Yeah,
he's more the type to die
413
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:01,930
in bed with his mistress.
414
00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:05,000
I'm actually seeing him hog-tied.
He's definitely a sub.
415
00:18:05,030 --> 00:18:08,170
Ah-ha!
Gillette and Pam, you horny dorks!
416
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,370
- Thank God you said that!
- Hog-tied?
417
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,030
There's no way Trip
wouldn't have
418
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:14,800
a remote failsafe shutdown
if things went wrong.
419
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:17,870
I have dealt with this type
of person before... selfish,
420
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,170
only thinking of themself
at all times,
421
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,400
"screw everyone else" attitude.
422
00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,830
I just can't imagine
being like that.
423
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:28,100
[groans]
So close and yet so stupid.
424
00:18:28,130 --> 00:18:29,730
All right, we've trained for this.
425
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:32,070
You truly are my valiant crew.
426
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,770
I'm sorry, what?
[static crackling]
427
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,130
What "what"?
Everything's normal!
428
00:18:37,170 --> 00:18:38,970
Cheryl:
So what are we doing again?
429
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,770
We're going
to the engine room,
430
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,900
and we're going to take over
the sub.
431
00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:44,730
Will I need Darla?
432
00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:47,200
We'll cross that bridge
when you casually stab it.
433
00:18:47,230 --> 00:18:48,700
[laughs]
434
00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:52,730
You can't stab a bridge...
or can you?
435
00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:55,830
[suspenseful music]
436
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:02,000
Brine time.
437
00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:04,800
[music]
438
00:19:04,830 --> 00:19:06,830
[gunshots]
[men shouting]
439
00:19:06,870 --> 00:19:10,170
[music]
440
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,100
Whoo! [laughs]
[static crackling]
441
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:15,770
Eat halberd!
442
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:19,300
[laughs]
[gunfire]
443
00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:22,700
- Damn it, Cyril!
- Damn it!
444
00:19:22,730 --> 00:19:24,830
[music]
445
00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:28,100
Whoo-hoo!
All right, mop up time!
446
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,800
[explosion booming]
447
00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:35,730
[submarine creaking]
448
00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:41,030
[gunfire]
449
00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:43,900
[music]
450
00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:45,830
Lana: If he gets away,
we are all dead!
451
00:19:45,870 --> 00:19:49,770
- Yes, Lana, we all still realize that.
- What are you doing?
452
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,470
If that propeller turns on,
you are Archer sashimi!
453
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:55,470
And your muscles will stop
working in about 30 seconds.
454
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,200
Nah, I'm sure it's not that fast.
455
00:19:57,230 --> 00:20:01,700
Would you please listen
for once? And he's gone.
456
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:05,130
[dramatic music]
457
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,770
Trip: This is Trip!
Get us out of here!
458
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:14,670
[music]
459
00:20:22,370 --> 00:20:25,270
If you move that hand
another inch,
460
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,170
you won't have it anymore.
461
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:34,100
[gun cocks]
462
00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:39,830
[grunts] I knew it!
Would it kill you to share?
463
00:20:39,870 --> 00:20:45,100
[music]
464
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:47,400
Krieger: Archer.
465
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:50,330
Archer? Archer!
466
00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:54,070
- Wake up, dingus!
- Crackers, you nut.
467
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:57,100
- I'll just wait till next time.
- There is no next time!
468
00:20:57,130 --> 00:21:00,270
- Give me your hand, idiot!
- I can't move.
469
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,930
And I can't swim,
yet here we are.
470
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,730
Come on, you featherless freak!
471
00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:10,000
[tranquil music]
472
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,130
Lana: Wow, Archer,
I would like to present you
473
00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:15,830
with a medal for being an idiot
on every continent!
474
00:21:15,870 --> 00:21:17,130
Gillette: God damn it!
475
00:21:17,170 --> 00:21:18,930
You wanna open your eyes
when you shoot?
476
00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:20,870
[laughs]
You are pathetic.
477
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:22,870
Hey, everyone!
Why are you bitching?
478
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:25,000
Hey! You're the one who
made all our lives worse
479
00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:27,270
- by not being in a coma!
- Hmm, true.
480
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:29,800
Cyril's a wuss,
Pam's gone full horn-monster,
481
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,270
Gillette's probably
binging again,
482
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:34,370
and Lana, you've been a bitch
to Sandra for, like, no reason.
483
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,400
But let me just call up 7.5 billion
484
00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:38,400
of my closest friends
to get their opinions.
485
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:40,270
Oh, hey, guess what!
486
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,700
They're totally fine with it
because they're alive!
487
00:21:43,730 --> 00:21:45,430
And how many times
did you guys save the world
488
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,130
while I was in a coma?
489
00:21:48,170 --> 00:21:51,430
I'll take your silence
to mean zero times!
490
00:21:51,470 --> 00:21:53,030
Honestly, at this point,
491
00:21:53,070 --> 00:21:55,200
I'd wipe out the entire Earth
if you went with it.
492
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:58,000
Did you people ever consider
that you need me around
493
00:21:58,030 --> 00:22:01,830
because you want the excuse
to be your worst selves?
494
00:22:01,870 --> 00:22:03,430
Oh, shit!
495
00:22:03,470 --> 00:22:05,800
[dramatic music]
496
00:22:05,830 --> 00:22:09,070
Your little victory
meant nothing!
497
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:11,700
I can detonate the bomb
remotely.
498
00:22:11,730 --> 00:22:14,270
[cackles sinisterly]
499
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,830
[moans]
Ahh!
500
00:22:16,870 --> 00:22:18,930
[crashing]
[music]
501
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,400
[laughs]
502
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:28,156
So I guess
not everything's a helipad.
503
00:22:29,812 --> 00:22:34,463
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
504
00:22:35,305 --> 00:23:35,226
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org