1
00:00:01,016 --> 00:00:04,135
<i>[Dramatic music]</i>

2
00:00:04,219 --> 00:00:10,508
[♪ ♪]

3
00:00:10,865 --> 00:00:12,411
Plantain?

4
00:00:15,117 --> 00:00:16,614
I don't care what it takes,

5
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,522
you are gonna get
this plane in the air!

6
00:00:18,606 --> 00:00:23,977
Eh, it's not getting it in
the air that I'm worried about.

7
00:00:24,062 --> 00:00:26,562
Listen to me,
you backwater B. A. Baracus.

8
00:00:26,647 --> 00:00:28,812
My tour group
is on a deadline.

9
00:00:28,897 --> 00:00:32,083
- And we're getting cranky!
- [burps] And thirsty!

10
00:00:32,168 --> 00:00:34,017
And probably dengue fever.

11
00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:36,039
You want some help, boss?

12
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,008
No, and not your boss,

13
00:00:38,092 --> 00:00:41,578
your guide on a scenic
aerial jungle tour.

14
00:00:41,662 --> 00:00:44,147
Yeah, we get lots of tours
that come through here

15
00:00:44,231 --> 00:00:46,016
with giant bags of guns.

16
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,452
- You being smart with me?
- No, señor.

17
00:00:48,536 --> 00:00:50,554
I don't think
you'd understand me if I did.

18
00:00:50,638 --> 00:00:51,969
Now, you listen good.

19
00:00:52,054 --> 00:00:54,992
I don't know what tragic series
of screw-ups

20
00:00:55,077 --> 00:00:58,194
in the bird shit on a dog shit
you call a life

21
00:00:58,279 --> 00:01:00,931
led you to working
in this tropical hellhole,

22
00:01:01,023 --> 00:01:02,587
but trust me when I say

23
00:01:02,672 --> 00:01:04,618
that if you don't find me
a working plane,

24
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I'll shove a propeller
down your throat,

25
00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:08,038
an engine up your ass,

26
00:01:08,122 --> 00:01:10,107
and use you
to fly my tour group!

27
00:01:10,191 --> 00:01:12,142
Okay, you take off in five.

28
00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:14,032
And that is called leadership.

29
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:14,727
Is it?

30
00:01:14,812 --> 00:01:16,146
Felt more like
a threat of sodomy.

31
00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:18,215
That's the title of my novel!

32
00:01:18,299 --> 00:01:21,084
Oh, relax. These old birds
maintain themselves.

33
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,703
They're indestructible.

34
00:01:26,955 --> 00:01:29,681
Cheryl: I'm calling my travel
agent... this is a bad tour.

35
00:01:29,766 --> 00:01:30,852
Not actually a tour.

36
00:01:30,937 --> 00:01:34,023
Just a bad mission
organized by a bad leader.

37
00:01:34,108 --> 00:01:36,365
You guys, Fabian chose Ray
to lead us.

38
00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:38,635
I say we respect that, and...

39
00:01:38,719 --> 00:01:42,586
[laughing] I couldn't finish,
even as a joke.

40
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,040
You suck, dude.

41
00:01:44,124 --> 00:01:46,643
I'll... I'll admit that we're
off to a rough start,

42
00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:48,178
but if we stick together...

43
00:01:48,262 --> 00:01:49,540
We'll die together?

44
00:01:49,625 --> 00:01:50,614
Archer, help me out.

45
00:01:50,698 --> 00:01:53,350
You've been in worse spots
than this, right?

46
00:01:53,629 --> 00:01:56,517
Archer? Archer?

47
00:01:56,602 --> 00:01:57,353
Oh, sorry.

48
00:01:57,438 --> 00:01:58,989
I was deep in thought
about what would happen

49
00:01:59,073 --> 00:02:00,957
if I took one of the thousands
of piranhas

50
00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:02,392
from the waters
that now surround us

51
00:02:02,476 --> 00:02:04,361
and shoved it down
your esophagus.

52
00:02:04,445 --> 00:02:06,766
And what would happen if I did
the same thing 20 times

53
00:02:06,856 --> 00:02:08,891
and then set you on fire?

54
00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:14,836
I mean, he'd probably die.

55
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:19,333
<i>Main title theme...</i>

56
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[♪ ♪]

57
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Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

58
00:02:55,531 --> 00:02:56,915
[grunting]

59
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,582
Cheese and rice!

60
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That was the cheese and rice.

61
00:03:00,434 --> 00:03:02,016
Salvage with your back.

62
00:03:02,101 --> 00:03:04,907
Ooh, if you see a very
unstable bomb, that's mine.

63
00:03:04,992 --> 00:03:06,723
And feel free
to help, Archer.

64
00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:08,799
[scoffs] I would, Ray,
but not helping pays the same

65
00:03:08,883 --> 00:03:09,978
and doesn't require trying.

66
00:03:10,063 --> 00:03:11,447
What is your problem lately?

67
00:03:11,531 --> 00:03:12,682
In Mother's absence,

68
00:03:12,766 --> 00:03:13,950
I realized I can do
what I want,

69
00:03:14,034 --> 00:03:15,318
e.g., nothing,

70
00:03:15,402 --> 00:03:17,133
when I want, e. G., now,

71
00:03:17,218 --> 00:03:19,136
because no one is the boss
of me anymore,

72
00:03:19,221 --> 00:03:20,372
e.g., I'm done talking.

73
00:03:20,457 --> 00:03:23,342
I am literally
the boss of you.

74
00:03:23,427 --> 00:03:25,961
Bomb! No, wait, rock.

75
00:03:26,046 --> 00:03:28,497
Well, we're definitely
on an island.

76
00:03:28,582 --> 00:03:30,023
And surrounded by piranhas.

77
00:03:30,108 --> 00:03:31,327
And possibly those hippos
that escaped

78
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:32,934
from Pablo Escobar's zoo.

79
00:03:33,019 --> 00:03:34,404
Good crash, Ray.

80
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I didn't choose this.

81
00:03:35,789 --> 00:03:37,373
I was trying
to stay on schedule

82
00:03:37,457 --> 00:03:39,266
to impress Fabian
with my leadership.

83
00:03:39,351 --> 00:03:41,135
You don't know
the pressure I'm under

84
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,404
to make mission quotas.

85
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,095
I... God damn it, woman!

86
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:46,000
Quit licking the toads!

87
00:03:46,085 --> 00:03:48,237
Ugh! Can we go
to a different island?

88
00:03:48,322 --> 00:03:49,973
The frogs here are non-druggie.

89
00:03:50,058 --> 00:03:52,243
No.
We dig in, wait for rescue.

90
00:03:52,328 --> 00:03:54,414
Yeah, we need to keep up
our strength for the mission.

91
00:03:54,498 --> 00:03:57,350
So, obviously,
piranha barbecue.

92
00:03:57,479 --> 00:03:59,697
No!
We need better frogs!

93
00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:02,397
No!
We need to get back up river!

94
00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:03,915
- Cyril: No. - Cheryl: No. - Lana: No.
- Pam: Yep. - Archer: Yeah, sure.

95
00:04:03,999 --> 00:04:06,084
Everybody stop taking charge!

96
00:04:06,169 --> 00:04:08,770
I'm already in charge,
and I'm making a plan.

97
00:04:08,855 --> 00:04:11,437
For how to fill the power
vacuum left by you sucking?

98
00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:12,687
For the mission...

99
00:04:12,772 --> 00:04:15,477
Liberating a stash
of stolen medical supplies

100
00:04:15,562 --> 00:04:18,181
from the warlord known
only as Serpiente.

101
00:04:18,265 --> 00:04:19,816
- Ring a bell?
- Oh, yeah.

102
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:21,336
- We're still doing that?
- Yes!

103
00:04:21,421 --> 00:04:24,386
It's my only chance to maintain
my leadership position.

104
00:04:24,471 --> 00:04:27,289
- Slash parking space.
- Ooh, stakes.

105
00:04:27,374 --> 00:04:29,946
Look, we may have crashed
and lost all our supplies.

106
00:04:30,031 --> 00:04:31,212
And guns.

107
00:04:31,297 --> 00:04:33,460
And a bomb that had
sentimental value.

108
00:04:33,545 --> 00:04:36,062
[sniffles]
This was her detonator.

109
00:04:36,522 --> 00:04:39,768
But we can get resupplied
once we contact Fabian.

110
00:04:39,853 --> 00:04:42,227
Cheryl, where are we
with the hand-crank sat phone.

111
00:04:42,312 --> 00:04:45,698
- Uh, on an island?
- I mean, did you crank it?

112
00:04:45,790 --> 00:04:48,212
A lady never tells.

113
00:04:48,297 --> 00:04:50,279
Why are you even here?

114
00:04:50,363 --> 00:04:52,977
[sighs] It was the best
of my bad options.

115
00:04:53,062 --> 00:04:55,418
Lord of Cinders,

116
00:04:55,502 --> 00:04:57,773
command me!

117
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:01,323
Forgot my keys
when I left two minutes ago.

118
00:05:01,408 --> 00:05:03,102
Oh, they're on the printer.

119
00:05:03,187 --> 00:05:07,629
FYI, the Lord of Cinders is
always looking for new candles.

120
00:05:07,714 --> 00:05:09,332
Uh, good to know.

121
00:05:09,416 --> 00:05:10,967
Margo?

122
00:05:11,242 --> 00:05:12,902
Explode if you're close!

123
00:05:12,986 --> 00:05:15,438
Krieger, stop trying
to detonate a missing bomb

124
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:16,813
before you kill us.

125
00:05:16,898 --> 00:05:19,142
Uh-oh, someone's mad
they're not in charge.

126
00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:21,310
No.
I accept Fabian's decision.

127
00:05:21,394 --> 00:05:22,938
I'm choosing to be good
at my job

128
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,548
and let positive things come.

129
00:05:24,633 --> 00:05:25,815
Like Ray getting more chances

130
00:05:25,899 --> 00:05:28,204
to kill us with his arrogance
and incompetence?

131
00:05:28,289 --> 00:05:29,385
"Incobegence"!

132
00:05:29,469 --> 00:05:30,437
Okay, it's charged.
[line trilling]

133
00:05:30,522 --> 00:05:31,620
Everybody shut up.

134
00:05:31,705 --> 00:05:33,523
And this is your desk.

135
00:05:33,607 --> 00:05:36,259
If you need anything,
I'm right in there.

136
00:05:36,343 --> 00:05:39,040
Oh, and if a rival agency attacks,

137
00:05:39,125 --> 00:05:40,863
your chair is bulletproof.

138
00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:42,767
Agent Gillette, status report.

139
00:05:42,852 --> 00:05:44,667
Ray: Tiny hiccup.

140
00:05:44,751 --> 00:05:46,821
We, uh, need an extraction.

141
00:05:46,906 --> 00:05:48,471
Agent error, I presume.

142
00:05:48,555 --> 00:05:49,505
Archer: Hi, Fabian.

143
00:05:49,589 --> 00:05:51,274
Specifically lead agent error.

144
00:05:51,359 --> 00:05:52,475
Quit it!

145
00:05:52,559 --> 00:05:55,524
Look, Fabian, I-I-I know
it's a poor carpenter

146
00:05:55,609 --> 00:05:56,626
who blames his tools,

147
00:05:56,711 --> 00:05:57,747
but I have got a team

148
00:05:57,831 --> 00:06:00,183
of some real, real shit hammers
down here.

149
00:06:00,267 --> 00:06:02,501
And a helicopter extraction

150
00:06:02,586 --> 00:06:04,689
would alert Serpiente
to your presence,

151
00:06:04,774 --> 00:06:06,658
compromising
the entire mission.

152
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,760
[sighs] The best I can do
is a supply drop

153
00:06:08,844 --> 00:06:11,187
with local pilots
at your expense.

154
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:13,223
You can pick it up
five miles downriver,

155
00:06:13,308 --> 00:06:14,866
and it's another five
to the compound.

156
00:06:14,951 --> 00:06:16,539
So tally-ho.

157
00:06:16,624 --> 00:06:18,442
Tally how?
We're stranded on an island

158
00:06:18,527 --> 00:06:20,211
in the middle of the Amazon,
you doof!

159
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,848
Fabian: Perhaps you've heard
of a new invention.

160
00:06:23,014 --> 00:06:25,188
It holds people
and floats on water.

161
00:06:25,273 --> 00:06:27,269
- [gasps] Ice!
- He means boats.

162
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,376
Ice can be boats.
Ask Jeffrey Pike.

163
00:06:29,461 --> 00:06:31,174
Fabian: Call again when you're
outside the compound

164
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,317
for further instructions.

165
00:06:32,401 --> 00:06:33,422
Now, where were we?

166
00:06:33,507 --> 00:06:35,789
God, you're like if syphilis
was a person.

167
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,406
[line clicks, beeps]
Hello? Damn it!

168
00:06:37,491 --> 00:06:38,991
I don't think he heard that.
Ray, call him back.

169
00:06:39,075 --> 00:06:41,032
This mission doesn't make
any damn sense.

170
00:06:41,117 --> 00:06:42,095
How are we gonna extract

171
00:06:42,180 --> 00:06:44,391
these supposed
medical supplies anyway?

172
00:06:44,476 --> 00:06:46,234
Well, we can start
by building a raft

173
00:06:46,319 --> 00:06:47,670
Huck Finn style,

174
00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,500
but without all the, you know...

175
00:06:49,585 --> 00:06:52,104
Analysis of the hypocrisy
of civilized society?

176
00:06:52,188 --> 00:06:54,840
- Archer, what are you doing?
- My own thing, Lana.

177
00:06:54,924 --> 00:06:56,759
Call me
when we're leaving the island.

178
00:07:06,328 --> 00:07:08,053
You know, I'm unarmed

179
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:11,141
and thus more likely
to instantly kill...

180
00:07:11,226 --> 00:07:14,328
anyone who tries to hurt
my new best friend!

181
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:16,364
- [squeals]
- I shall call you...

182
00:07:16,449 --> 00:07:18,601
- Finished!
- Are we?

183
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,102
You made a death trap

184
00:07:20,187 --> 00:07:21,985
out of pieces
of a previous death trap?

185
00:07:22,070 --> 00:07:23,469
- [squeals]
- Oh, sorry.

186
00:07:23,553 --> 00:07:25,504
Everyone, this is Ryan.

187
00:07:25,588 --> 00:07:27,372
- [squeals]
- Charmed, I'm sure.

188
00:07:27,456 --> 00:07:29,775
You're really gonna go this
entire mission without helping?

189
00:07:29,859 --> 00:07:31,539
I'm just embracing
my new philosophy

190
00:07:31,624 --> 00:07:33,039
of doing what I want
when I want.

191
00:07:33,124 --> 00:07:35,641
Ugh, isn't that
what you always do?

192
00:07:35,726 --> 00:07:38,063
Yes, but now I'm, you know,
really leaning in.

193
00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:38,813
[squeals]

194
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,085
Sorry, we're really
leaning in.

195
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,489
But not on that raft.
It's a death trap.

196
00:07:43,573 --> 00:07:46,735
Enough! It's a great raft!
And you want to know why?

197
00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:48,327
Because only half of it
is sinking?

198
00:07:48,411 --> 00:07:50,796
Because we made it as a team.

199
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,032
Teamwork is getting us
off this island.

200
00:07:53,117 --> 00:07:54,500
There's a famous saying...

201
00:07:54,584 --> 00:07:56,502
"If you want to go fast,
go alone.

202
00:07:56,586 --> 00:07:58,704
But if you want to go far..."

203
00:07:58,788 --> 00:08:00,312
- Ryan! No!
- [squealing]

204
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,533
[hissing]

205
00:08:04,455 --> 00:08:07,110
Good news...
I checked, and we have room

206
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,414
in the budget for an extract
with the whisper copter.

207
00:08:09,498 --> 00:08:11,188
Susan, if we help them now,

208
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,318
they'll never learn
to walk on their own.

209
00:08:13,402 --> 00:08:14,686
But I love your initiative.

210
00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:17,422
You're now
my executive assistant.

211
00:08:17,506 --> 00:08:19,923
The position comes
with a shotgun.

212
00:08:20,008 --> 00:08:21,393
Cyril: What are you saying?

213
00:08:21,477 --> 00:08:23,729
[Ray speaking indistinctly]

214
00:08:23,813 --> 00:08:28,066
Oh, he said, "Sacrifice
through flame brings purity."

215
00:08:28,150 --> 00:08:30,769
If you keep struggling,
I'm done sucking out the venom.

216
00:08:30,853 --> 00:08:33,234
Okeydoke,
we need a new mission leader.

217
00:08:33,319 --> 00:08:36,032
[sighs] Pass.
I'm still thinking about Ryan.

218
00:08:36,117 --> 00:08:37,109
I meant me.

219
00:08:37,193 --> 00:08:38,677
Or I could take
a whack at it.

220
00:08:38,761 --> 00:08:40,445
[chuckles]
And why would you lead?

221
00:08:40,529 --> 00:08:42,581
Why not? I'm the same rank
as you and Archer,

222
00:08:42,665 --> 00:08:45,118
and I'm literally saving
Ray's life as we speak.

223
00:08:45,203 --> 00:08:46,785
Ray: Aah!

224
00:08:46,869 --> 00:08:48,454
Oh, okay.

225
00:08:48,642 --> 00:08:50,126
Ray says, "Not fast enough,"

226
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,009
and that as
Miss Archer's assistant,

227
00:08:52,094 --> 00:08:53,659
I'm already de facto leader,

228
00:08:53,743 --> 00:08:55,156
depending
on what "de facto" means.

229
00:08:55,241 --> 00:08:57,193
[gunshot]

230
00:08:57,646 --> 00:09:01,499
It shall be I who leads.
[Archer and Lana laugh]

231
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,243
Where did you get
a flare gun?

232
00:09:03,328 --> 00:09:04,813
I found it in the wreckage.

233
00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:05,915
And you wasted it

234
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,423
on a gesture
highlighting your impotence.

235
00:09:07,507 --> 00:09:09,860
Highlighting my lack
of impotence!

236
00:09:09,945 --> 00:09:10,876
He quavered.

237
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,899
- Also, flares attract hippos!
- No, they don't.

238
00:09:13,984 --> 00:09:15,881
Oh, then she's
just a coincidence.

239
00:09:15,965 --> 00:09:18,650
Lana:
Oh! Jesus Christ!

240
00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:20,763
Goddamn!
Escobar breeds a good hippo.

241
00:09:20,848 --> 00:09:21,931
It's sinking the raft!

242
00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:24,056
What's that beeping?
[device beeping]

243
00:09:24,141 --> 00:09:26,040
Margo, you came back to me!

244
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:28,760
This reunion's going out
with a bang! Ugh!

245
00:09:28,953 --> 00:09:31,556
Krieger:
No! Margo!

246
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:36,969
- Look!
- Yes! The supply drop!

247
00:09:37,053 --> 00:09:38,537
What? No.

248
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:41,695
That cloud... it looks like
a centaur choking me.

249
00:09:46,929 --> 00:09:48,714
Solid leadership, Ray.

250
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,482
Ray?

251
00:09:50,566 --> 00:09:52,227
Yeah. Ray's dead.

252
00:09:52,312 --> 00:09:54,500
[muffled]
What? No.

253
00:09:57,859 --> 00:10:00,058
Okay, people,
let's move out,

254
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,894
starting with moving me.

255
00:10:01,978 --> 00:10:03,297
We've got to hurry.

256
00:10:03,382 --> 00:10:04,967
Someone else could have seen
the supply drop.

257
00:10:05,051 --> 00:10:07,415
- I could lead a team ahead.
- And straight into quicksand?

258
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,034
At least I am trying to lead.

259
00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:11,540
Hey, I'm still leading
this mission!

260
00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:14,751
Now, make me a stretcher
and a fan out of palm fronds.

261
00:10:14,836 --> 00:10:16,118
My skin is on fire.

262
00:10:16,203 --> 00:10:18,343
We are not carrying you
like a king.

263
00:10:18,427 --> 00:10:19,937
Or burying you like one.

264
00:10:20,022 --> 00:10:22,413
If you die, let's be honest,
it's a shallow river grave.

265
00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:23,982
I'd love that for you.

266
00:10:24,066 --> 00:10:26,681
I'll be fine!
Right, Krieger?

267
00:10:26,766 --> 00:10:27,758
Eh...

268
00:10:27,843 --> 00:10:29,621
So I sucked poison
out of his face for nothing?

269
00:10:29,705 --> 00:10:30,970
It's still a fun story.

270
00:10:31,055 --> 00:10:32,647
But if Ray doesn't get
antivenom soon,

271
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,183
there could be
permanent consequences.

272
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,652
What, like,
my face will stay like this?

273
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:39,088
- Yes, because you'll be dead.
- Lana: Ugh.

274
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,856
Okay, I'm taking command.

275
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,024
- Cheryl.
- Present!

276
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,461
You stay
with Ray and Krieger.

277
00:10:43,546 --> 00:10:44,704
The rest of us will head
for the drop,

278
00:10:44,788 --> 00:10:46,373
then push on
to find the medical supplies

279
00:10:46,457 --> 00:10:47,859
and ideally antivenom.

280
00:10:47,961 --> 00:10:48,911
Here, crank this

281
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,099
to take your mind off
how you screwed the mission.

282
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,769
I got bit tripping
over your stupid tapir!

283
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,938
A tapir, not my tapir!

284
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:58,841
You can't own something
that majestic!

285
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:01,844
[dramatic music]

286
00:11:01,984 --> 00:11:02,984
[♪ ♪]

287
00:11:03,161 --> 00:11:05,646
Ah! Ow.

288
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,783
[laughs] FYI, Cyril,
this jungle has trees.

289
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,651
You released the branch
in my face.

290
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,508
As a teaching moment.
You're welcome.

291
00:11:11,593 --> 00:11:13,722
Jungle physics 101!

292
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,586
Can we not shout so much
on this covert jungle mission?

293
00:11:16,671 --> 00:11:19,093
Guys, guys, guys!
I found a footpath!

294
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,730
No, I don't like it.
It's too exposed.

295
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,332
Counterpoint... it's easier.

296
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,735
So you literally want to take
the path of least resistance?

297
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,036
It's famous for a reason.

298
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,638
Oh, we should put it
to a vote,

299
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,974
since, you know,
we are all equals here.

300
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:33,328
Counterpoint.

301
00:11:33,889 --> 00:11:35,707
And the nays have it.

302
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,780
[scoffs] Damn.

303
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,681
Why is the person in charge,

304
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,151
who also happens
to be snake-bit,

305
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,640
turning the damn crank?

306
00:11:43,725 --> 00:11:45,610
Come on!
It'll get your blood flowing.

307
00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:47,188
Ooh, actually,
that's really bad.

308
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,430
- Cheryl: Good news...
- The others are back?

309
00:11:49,515 --> 00:11:51,660
No, I'm done
with your shallow grave.

310
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,399
I made it extra shallow.

311
00:11:53,484 --> 00:11:55,764
You know, I didn't ask
to lead this agency.

312
00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:58,554
I just worked hard,
stabbed a couple backs,

313
00:11:58,639 --> 00:12:00,935
and when the position
was offered to me, I said,

314
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,672
"Ray, take a risk.
Try something new."

315
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,908
I say that in my lab
all the time.

316
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,910
Cheryl:
I have a jungle question.

317
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:10,145
What do you do
if rocks are getting closer?

318
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,852
Archer:
Uh, wait for them to leave.

319
00:12:11,937 --> 00:12:13,849
Lana: That's your plan?
Ray is dying!

320
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,993
Archer: Well, they have guns,
and we have Cyril,

321
00:12:16,078 --> 00:12:17,946
who is, like,
the opposite of a gun.

322
00:12:18,031 --> 00:12:19,180
If we'd stuck to the jungle,

323
00:12:19,265 --> 00:12:20,508
we would have missed them
completely.

324
00:12:20,592 --> 00:12:22,470
Don't blame the path
of least resistance for this.

325
00:12:22,554 --> 00:12:23,992
I'm blaming you!

326
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,028
- Ooh, I've got an idea.
- Guys, look.

327
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,696
Archer:
Guys with guns are leaving?

328
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,832
Thank you,
path of least resistance.

329
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,290
They're going
for our supply drop, dummy,

330
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:33,902
which means
they'll have more guns!

331
00:12:34,015 --> 00:12:36,352
Hello?
Lady with an idea here.

332
00:12:36,437 --> 00:12:38,922
Well, yeah, there'll be
some resistance later.

333
00:12:39,007 --> 00:12:41,043
- Okay, I'm just doing it.
- Ah.

334
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,594
If I could just get
to that jeep...

335
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,313
Then you can get shot
hot-wiring it?

336
00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:47,305
<i>Pam speaking Spanish...</i>

337
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:52,653
Oh, man, you didn't say
that was part of it.

338
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:55,641
<i>Speaking Spanish...</i>

339
00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,469
Damn, you think
you know a guy.

340
00:12:59,554 --> 00:13:01,430
And then all of your
suspicions are confirmed.

341
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:02,757
Now's our chance.

342
00:13:02,842 --> 00:13:05,695
Gracias...
[speaking Spanish]

343
00:13:05,898 --> 00:13:09,818
You're not the man we hired
to catch the goat kisser.

344
00:13:09,903 --> 00:13:12,453
[speaking Spanish]
There really is a goat kisser?

345
00:13:12,538 --> 00:13:15,023
[crash, tires squealing]

346
00:13:15,182 --> 00:13:18,070
[all coughing]

347
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,211
Punch it!
What are you waiting for?

348
00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:21,547
A gun!

349
00:13:21,632 --> 00:13:24,186
[♪ ♪]

350
00:13:24,569 --> 00:13:27,121
Oh, my God, a baby Browning?

351
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,725
Um, this will be great
if we need to bruise a sparrow.

352
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,260
Ray! You guys still there?

353
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,266
Ray: Help me! Help me!
Get him off!

354
00:13:34,351 --> 00:13:36,415
My douchey combat boots!

355
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,789
And also my leg!

356
00:13:37,874 --> 00:13:41,134
Oh, my God, this hippo game
is so much more fun in person!

357
00:13:41,219 --> 00:13:44,238
Ah, we'll call you back!

358
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,508
Not that I care,
but do you have a plan?

359
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:47,993
Why are you asking her?

360
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:50,913
I created the diversion
that saved our asses!

361
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,094
Ugh!
And double-knotted this rope!

362
00:13:53,179 --> 00:13:55,157
Fine!
What's your great plan?

363
00:13:55,327 --> 00:13:57,457
Turn!
[all shout]

364
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,974
Now's our chance,
while they're blind.

365
00:14:03,961 --> 00:14:06,095
Oh, are those bananas?

366
00:14:06,273 --> 00:14:08,664
No, plantains again.
Ugh!

367
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,071
Hey, you think
you could maybe use

368
00:14:10,156 --> 00:14:11,600
our only gun on a bad guy?

369
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,640
I could try, but I'm not sure
it would break the skin.

370
00:14:16,876 --> 00:14:18,562
Close range doesn't count.

371
00:14:18,647 --> 00:14:24,757
[♪ ♪]

372
00:14:24,861 --> 00:14:27,618
Ray, crate secure.
We're en route to the compound.

373
00:14:27,703 --> 00:14:32,008
Okay. Obviously, far be it
for me to tell you

374
00:14:32,093 --> 00:14:35,430
what your lived experience is
as a spider.

375
00:14:35,515 --> 00:14:37,437
But what I would ask is...

376
00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:38,806
Aah!

377
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:41,172
Oh, my, I heard Ray scream.

378
00:14:41,257 --> 00:14:43,146
Is the jungle
still turning on him?

379
00:14:43,231 --> 00:14:45,843
Wait. You're alone up there?
Where's Pam?

380
00:14:47,481 --> 00:14:49,257
¿Qué pasa, homeys?

381
00:14:55,116 --> 00:14:57,601
Great. These prints lead
stright into the jungles.

382
00:14:57,686 --> 00:14:59,086
Thank you, Percy Fawcett.

383
00:14:59,171 --> 00:15:02,282
And thank you for ruining
this entire mission.

384
00:15:02,367 --> 00:15:03,585
How did I ruin the mission?

385
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,587
Ray's the leader,
and Cyril almost got us eaten.

386
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:08,757
Killed, not eaten.
Hippos are herbivores.

387
00:15:08,914 --> 00:15:11,813
Ray may be in charge,
but you drove off without Pam

388
00:15:11,898 --> 00:15:14,266
and led us to a guerrilla camp
and got Ray bitten.

389
00:15:14,351 --> 00:15:15,352
And I wouldn't be shocked

390
00:15:15,437 --> 00:15:16,899
if you're the reason
our plane crashed.

391
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:19,047
Why? Because I saw a piece
of the engine fall off

392
00:15:19,132 --> 00:15:20,169
and didn't say anything?

393
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,005
- Oh, my God!
- That is next-level lazy.

394
00:15:23,148 --> 00:15:25,133
AKA,
path of least resistance.

395
00:15:25,218 --> 00:15:28,352
AKA, careless because you
don't care about us, Archer.

396
00:15:28,437 --> 00:15:30,579
And maybe you never did.
I don't know.

397
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:33,687
I think you just became a spy
to please your mother!

398
00:15:34,718 --> 00:15:36,285
Too far?

399
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,180
[grunting]
[glass breaking]

400
00:15:38,265 --> 00:15:39,782
What are you doing now?

401
00:15:39,867 --> 00:15:41,408
Proving a point
by getting in this truck

402
00:15:41,492 --> 00:15:42,860
the hardest way possible, Lana,

403
00:15:42,945 --> 00:15:46,662
then taking charge and getting
Pam back because I care!

404
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,540
Are we happy about this?

405
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:50,290
I honestly do not know anymore.

406
00:15:50,375 --> 00:15:53,398
And by the way,
nothing pleased my mother!

407
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,407
Ray, any soldiers at the camp?

408
00:15:55,492 --> 00:15:57,047
Ray:
No, they're gone.

409
00:15:57,132 --> 00:15:59,133
But this place is magical.

410
00:15:59,218 --> 00:16:01,643
They have plants, waterfalls,

411
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,883
a strangely powerful
sense of euphoria.

412
00:16:04,968 --> 00:16:06,110
He sounds better.

413
00:16:06,195 --> 00:16:07,993
Uh, that's just
the endorphins triggered

414
00:16:08,078 --> 00:16:11,008
by the snake and spider venom
competing to ravage his system.

415
00:16:11,093 --> 00:16:13,852
If his kidneys had mouths,
they'd be screaming.

416
00:16:13,937 --> 00:16:16,251
I thought maybe the venoms
would cancel each other out,

417
00:16:16,336 --> 00:16:17,954
like how two negatives
make a positive.

418
00:16:18,038 --> 00:16:19,265
Shut up and listen!

419
00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:21,289
Lana blocked the road
with thoughtless carnage.

420
00:16:21,374 --> 00:16:23,008
Hello?
I was saving us!

421
00:16:23,093 --> 00:16:24,070
So find another way

422
00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:25,836
to meet us
at the compound to rescue Pam.

423
00:16:25,921 --> 00:16:28,073
Roger.
We'll take that helicopter.

424
00:16:28,158 --> 00:16:30,109
Krieger:
Uh, that's just rubble.

425
00:16:30,216 --> 00:16:32,367
Wait, why are we
rescuing Pam?

426
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,554
Sorry I punched you
in the balls.

427
00:16:35,675 --> 00:16:38,516
In my defense, one of you
kicked me in the cooter.

428
00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:40,943
So, you know,
a nut tap for a nut tap.

429
00:16:41,027 --> 00:16:42,164
[chuckles]

430
00:16:42,429 --> 00:16:45,242
So how long
till we get to the, uh...

431
00:16:45,327 --> 00:16:48,187
Perfect 2/3 replica
of the Taj Mahal?

432
00:16:48,301 --> 00:16:50,953
I'd say "why," but the answer
is clearly "because."

433
00:16:51,038 --> 00:16:53,456
Stop admiring the warlord!

434
00:16:53,541 --> 00:16:54,890
I bet the supplies
are in there.

435
00:16:54,975 --> 00:16:56,945
Cyril:
And there's Pam!

436
00:16:57,691 --> 00:17:00,010
Now, this next part
is a little tricky.

437
00:17:00,095 --> 00:17:03,546
We hit "select"
so that it prints collated.

438
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,501
[telephone rings]
[sighs] Agent Gillette?

439
00:17:05,585 --> 00:17:07,070
Uh, not speaking.

440
00:17:07,154 --> 00:17:09,070
Archer, where is
Agent Gillette?

441
00:17:09,155 --> 00:17:12,460
- Well, he's either dead or...
- Nailing it!

442
00:17:12,545 --> 00:17:14,196
God, I wish I could see this.

443
00:17:14,281 --> 00:17:16,719
- You sure you're good to fly?
- Hell, yes.

444
00:17:16,804 --> 00:17:17,639
I've got a hard-on

445
00:17:17,731 --> 00:17:20,216
like the thing
you fly the helicopter with.

446
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:22,383
Oh, yeah, that's actually
venom-induced priapism.

447
00:17:22,468 --> 00:17:23,735
- It's a sign of...
- Fun!

448
00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:24,922
Is that dynamite?

449
00:17:25,007 --> 00:17:26,389
I saw it first.

450
00:17:26,473 --> 00:17:27,953
Also, we lost Pam.

451
00:17:28,074 --> 00:17:30,293
Pam?
Oh, yes, Pam.

452
00:17:30,377 --> 00:17:33,162
Oh, I'll miss her Pamness.

453
00:17:33,246 --> 00:17:36,399
But if you're at the compound,
we can begin phase two.

454
00:17:36,553 --> 00:17:37,726
Of how many phases?

455
00:17:37,811 --> 00:17:40,202
Because at this rate,
phase three will just be me

456
00:17:40,287 --> 00:17:42,105
and the panther
that eats Cyril.

457
00:17:42,189 --> 00:17:44,665
Final phase...
Retrieve the red suitcase

458
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:48,039
on medical pilot YKLJ-56.

459
00:17:48,124 --> 00:17:50,367
Wait, one suitcase?

460
00:17:50,463 --> 00:17:52,648
I thought we were recovering
medical supplies.

461
00:17:52,732 --> 00:17:55,284
And I thought the mission
would be over hours ago.

462
00:17:55,368 --> 00:17:57,735
Find the suitcase,
and you will be extracted.

463
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:58,680
Ta-ta.

464
00:17:58,765 --> 00:18:00,696
- Well, that was...
- Suspicious as hell?

465
00:18:00,781 --> 00:18:01,991
Yeah! Are we really gonna...

466
00:18:02,075 --> 00:18:03,993
Do the thing
that gets us extracted?

467
00:18:04,077 --> 00:18:05,394
Yes, here's the plan.

468
00:18:05,478 --> 00:18:06,781
You two head
for the warehouse.

469
00:18:06,866 --> 00:18:09,551
Lana will retrieve
the suitcase.

470
00:18:09,702 --> 00:18:13,367
Cyril will find the antivenom,
and then Lana will save Cyril.

471
00:18:13,867 --> 00:18:15,101
Dang it.

472
00:18:15,331 --> 00:18:18,083
Archer: Meanwhile, I'll murder
Serpiente and save Pam.

473
00:18:18,191 --> 00:18:19,976
I've always wanted to storm
the Taj Mahal,

474
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:22,851
and this is
at least 2/3 as good.

475
00:18:23,063 --> 00:18:24,113
Serpiente!

476
00:18:24,351 --> 00:18:25,836
And sorry.

477
00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:28,602
That seems like a pre-existing
craftsmanship issue.

478
00:18:28,687 --> 00:18:29,531
You're late.

479
00:18:29,616 --> 00:18:31,534
I'm rescuing you to prove
that I care about you

480
00:18:31,619 --> 00:18:33,563
and didn't just become a spy
to impress my mother.

481
00:18:33,647 --> 00:18:35,957
I mean you're late
to kill Serpiente.

482
00:18:36,042 --> 00:18:38,628
His soldiers killed him months
ago for being a general dick.

483
00:18:38,712 --> 00:18:40,235
That was our nickname
for him!

484
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,297
And now they use his base

485
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,299
to distribute medicine
to the local population.

486
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,068
Also, they grow coffee!

487
00:18:45,179 --> 00:18:47,970
Coffee?
So no warlord or drugs?

488
00:18:48,054 --> 00:18:49,336
Wait, why'd they kidnap you?

489
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,852
I was too busy
punching peens to listen.

490
00:18:51,937 --> 00:18:53,782
But apparently they were...
What was it?

491
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:56,180
Defending ourselves.
Ay, caray.

492
00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:57,513
Yeah, amigos,

493
00:18:57,718 --> 00:19:00,304
yeah, that should
make things easier, right?

494
00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:03,610
Cheryl:
Dinamita!

495
00:19:03,695 --> 00:19:05,977
So I can't feel my body!

496
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,658
Oh, that's a good sign
for the venom.

497
00:19:08,742 --> 00:19:12,375
The Lord of Cinder
demands sacrifice!

498
00:19:13,189 --> 00:19:16,342
- Ahh!
- I can hold it! I can hold it!

499
00:19:16,449 --> 00:19:18,133
Oh, no, that's my penis.

500
00:19:18,218 --> 00:19:20,757
[alarm blaring, loud crash]

501
00:19:22,017 --> 00:19:24,106
Nice landing, boss.

502
00:19:24,191 --> 00:19:27,914
Then demote me!
Just give me antivenom!

503
00:19:28,228 --> 00:19:29,461
I'm looking!
I'm looking!

504
00:19:29,546 --> 00:19:31,321
Oh, there are just
so many labels!

505
00:19:31,406 --> 00:19:32,930
Stab me with everything!

506
00:19:33,015 --> 00:19:36,187
- Oh, shit, we need a new plan.
- We have one.

507
00:19:37,504 --> 00:19:40,187
[explosions]

508
00:19:40,272 --> 00:19:41,923
Friendly fire, amigos.

509
00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:43,171
Hello?

510
00:19:43,256 --> 00:19:44,938
Tell your soldiers
to cease fire.

511
00:19:45,023 --> 00:19:47,876
Oh, I would, but someone
blew up our radio tower.

512
00:19:47,961 --> 00:19:51,000
Oh, sarcasm...
That's very helpful right now.

513
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:53,234
Shit, I just did it, too.
Point taken.

514
00:19:53,319 --> 00:19:55,672
Uh, Archer, what about that?

515
00:19:55,757 --> 00:19:58,107
God, could the resistance
on this path get any worse?

516
00:19:58,191 --> 00:20:00,274
Ray: Good news...
My erection is back.

517
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,594
- You had an erection?
- Oh, several.

518
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:04,696
Bad news...
We're out of dynamite.

519
00:20:04,781 --> 00:20:06,726
[horn honks]

520
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:09,685
[tires screeching]

521
00:20:09,882 --> 00:20:12,989
Ha ha!
Taj my balls, bitches!

522
00:20:13,073 --> 00:20:15,133
Lana, look,
a fully alive Pam,

523
00:20:15,218 --> 00:20:19,028
and I saved you and befriended
a tapir all in one mission,

524
00:20:19,112 --> 00:20:21,457
because, Lana, I care.

525
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:24,461
Great. You're just in time
to get shot by the bad guys.

526
00:20:24,545 --> 00:20:25,994
Well, technically,
they're the good guys

527
00:20:26,078 --> 00:20:27,973
and this was
a huge miscommunication.

528
00:20:28,058 --> 00:20:30,166
Look, it's the extract!

529
00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:33,470
[♪ ♪]

530
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,167
I'll lead the way.

531
00:20:35,308 --> 00:20:38,441
[♪ ♪]

532
00:20:38,717 --> 00:20:39,801
Thanks.

533
00:20:39,886 --> 00:20:41,980
Got it.
I'll take it from here.

534
00:20:42,065 --> 00:20:44,101
- [grunts]
- Aah!

535
00:20:47,214 --> 00:20:50,253
- Stating the obvious, but, ow!
- What the shit?

536
00:20:50,338 --> 00:20:53,926
Uh, maybe that wasn't
our IIA helicopter.

537
00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:55,591
- [sat phone rings]
- Fabian?

538
00:20:55,676 --> 00:20:58,461
The helicopter
took the briefcase and not us.

539
00:20:58,545 --> 00:21:00,551
If it's a weight issue,
we can leave Cyril.

540
00:21:00,636 --> 00:21:02,299
Fabian: Thank you
for the briefcase, Archer.

541
00:21:02,383 --> 00:21:05,568
I have continuing business
with Serpiente's successor.

542
00:21:05,652 --> 00:21:07,304
Apologies for leaving
you there.

543
00:21:07,388 --> 00:21:09,449
But you can't know
where it's going.

544
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:10,620
Damn it, Fabian!

545
00:21:10,705 --> 00:21:13,442
When I see you, I'm gonna shove
your ass so far up your ass,

546
00:21:13,527 --> 00:21:15,312
you'll be upside down
and inside out!

547
00:21:15,396 --> 00:21:16,566
Fabian:
Enjoy the jungle.

548
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:19,182
<i>I hear it's extra poisonous
in the fall.</i>

549
00:21:19,266 --> 00:21:20,926
[receiver clatters]
Where were we?

550
00:21:21,011 --> 00:21:22,218
Oh, yes.

551
00:21:22,302 --> 00:21:27,981
♪ Happy, happy, happy first day
on the job ♪

552
00:21:28,066 --> 00:21:29,527
[dial tone drones]

553
00:21:29,612 --> 00:21:31,561
Man: Which one of you
is the leader?

554
00:21:31,645 --> 00:21:33,598
Oh, buddy, don't open
that can of worms.

555
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:36,450
<i>Speaking Spanish...</i>

556
00:21:39,653 --> 00:21:42,539
- So can we get a ride?
- [squeals]

557
00:21:42,623 --> 00:21:45,275
Ryan!
You came to find me!

558
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,611
Love truly is
the strongest compass.

559
00:21:47,695 --> 00:21:48,878
[squeals]

560
00:21:48,962 --> 00:21:51,723
[chuckles]
We know that tapir.

561
00:21:51,808 --> 00:21:52,875
[Tapir squeals]

562
00:22:11,752 --> 00:22:14,868
<i>Made in Georgia.</i>

563
00:22:15,305 --> 00:23:15,774
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