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00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:03,961
♪ ♪
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00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:11,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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Thank you, Linda.
Another perfect pour.
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Ugh. The phone people
keep charging us for a hot spot,
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whatever that is.
I'm gonna call them.
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Definitely. Later.
Not-not today.
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- May-Maybe next month.
- There you go.
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20% off an oil change.
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We're probably supposed
to be getting those.
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When was the last time
you got one?
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Last year?
Or, um, maybe the year before?
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I mean, definitely
since Louise was born.
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You really got
to stay on those, Bob.
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Yeah, I know, Teddy.
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Really helps with the lifespan
of the car.
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Okay, thanks. Yes, I got it.
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I do 'em myself. Just takes,
like, an hour or two.
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Three, three and a half
if you're buzzed.
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- You should do it yourself.
- I'm just not good
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at that
"being responsible" stuff.
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You're good
at some of that stuff.
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Didn't you reset our clock
the other day?
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- After the power went out?
- That was you.
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Oh, right. You just wanted
to not use that clock anymore.
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Well, concrete's probably dry
at Mr. Fischoeder's.
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I'm putting a basketball hoop
in his bathroom
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and a toilet
on his basketball court.
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That guy's life, huh?
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- See you later.
- Okay, bye.
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- Hey, guys.
- GENE: Hello.
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- Hey, Teddy.
- Theodore.
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Hey, kids. How was school?
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Don't worry about it.
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It was about four hours
too long and a little talky.
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Hey, remember
how I wanted to volunteer
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at the animal hospital
and read to animals?
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I don't think
that's what volunteers do.
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Animals don't have thumbs,
Louise.
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(chuckles):
They, uh, can't turn the pages.
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Anyway, so, you know how I need
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my birth certificate
for the application?
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Well, it's due tomorrow.
Do you guys know where that is?
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I do. Uh, I know where
your birth certificate is,
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because I very responsibly
put it in a very safe place.
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- Okay.
- In a safe.
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- A little fire safe.
- Cool.
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There's lots of other
important documents in there
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that I'm
responsibly keeping safe.
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Does toilet paper count
as important papers?
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If so, we're rich.
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Oh, God.
I forgot to buy toilet paper.
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At least there's one thing
I put in the right place.
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Oh, come on. Where's the key?
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Where's the key?
The freakin' key!
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♪ Bus too slow,
I wanna take a boat ♪
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00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,907
♪ Boat too wet,
I wanna take a jet ♪
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♪ Jet killed a bird,
I wanna take a herd ♪
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♪ Of sheep to the meadow ♪
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♪ Say hello to the fellow
making yellow on a cello ♪
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♪ Cello's too wet,
so we get a clarinet ♪
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♪ Clarinet's too reedy,
so we went to Ally Sheedy ♪
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♪ Ally Sheedy's too busy,
so we got her sister Lizzie ♪
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-(Tina mumbles)
-♪ Lizzie Sheedy
likes to cuss ♪
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♪ When she's driving
on the bus ♪
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♪ These are the words
she likes to say ♪
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- ♪ Crotch, dingle, crap, boob ♪
- (Tina mumbling)
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♪ Fart, nips, tips,
double dips ♪
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♪ And that's why
we drove off the cliff. ♪
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Man, how are you guys
even doing that?
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Oh, I love it!
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But that's not how
we used to do it.
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Gene, do it with me.
I'll show you how.
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♪ Welcome to the offices
of chicken legs and sausages ♪
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♪ We're going to the zoo today ♪
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♪ We're gonna eat
some ostriches ♪
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♪ Oh, they left?
Well, that's for the best ♪
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♪ But while we're here,
let's go get a beer ♪
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♪ Oh, they don't have booze?
Then how about a cruise? ♪
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♪ These are the things
they have on the boat ♪
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♪ Checkers, cribbage,
lettuce, spinach ♪
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♪ Slots, cots, garlic knots ♪
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♪ And now we sink
into the sea. ♪
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-(gurgles)
-I don't understand
how you can do
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the clapping and the talking
at the same time.
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- We can teach you, Tina.
- You can?
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Sure!
My cousin Valerie could do it,
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and she only had one arm.
She still does.
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(phone rings)
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- Bob's Burgers.
- Lin, it's me.
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- I-I need your help.
- Where are you?
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(sighs) Under the bed.
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Do you know where
the key to the safe is?
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No, I have no idea.
How's it look under the bed?
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- Gross.
- I bet.
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Will you ask the kids
if they've seen it?
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Kids, have you seen
the key to the safe?
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TINA:
No. Did you ask Dad?
He seemed to be on top of it.
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- I'm on the phone with him.
- Tell him I say hi.
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- Tina says hi.
- Hi, Tina.
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- Dad says hi back.
- Aw.
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Ask Dad if he thinks I'm ready
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to start sharing underwear
with him.
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- Oof!
- LOUISE: Dad, you got this.
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Bob, I think Louise
is coming upstairs
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to jump on the bed
and squish you.
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Yeah, she did it.
It's really fun. And helpful.
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- Uh, I'm gonna hang up, Lin.
- Okay.
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Let's hang up at the same time.
Oh, you hung up.
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So, just looking everywhere,
huh?
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Uh-huh.
I know I bought the safe,
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and the key came with the safe.
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And I put the important stuff
in the safe.
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Closed the safe.
Took the key. And then I...
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- Threw it?
- No.
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Oh! And then I wanted
to put the key
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on my keychain
to be responsible,
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but I realized
I left my keys in the car.
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That way your car's
just ready to go.
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So, I went out to the car
to look for my keys,
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and then, uh, Hugo walked by.
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So I ducked down so I wouldn't
have to talk to him.
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- So brave.
- But then he saw me,
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so I, uh, I pretended
to be on a phone call.
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Hands-free, even though
our car doesn't have that.
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So, should we maybe look
in the car?
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No, I get carsick.
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- But it wouldn't be mov...
- Bye-bye.
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It's got to be in here.
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Oh, God.
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Right.
That doesn't open anymore.
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(grunts) It's so hard to bend.
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What a mess. I'm a monster.
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Oh, there you are,
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screwdriver that I've rebought
a bunch of times
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'cause I didn't know
where you were.
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Jury duty summons. Perfect.
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I wish I knew you were there
since I'm a fugitive now,
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I guess.
Yep, there are the ants.
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You guys are still here.
H-How can I live like this?
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Ow! My back! Seizing up!
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Aah! Ow! (grunting)
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- Hi. How are you?
- I'm fine. You okay?
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(exhales)
Yeah, yeah. Couldn't be happier.
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- All right.
- (whimpers)
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Okay, if I...
If I lay like this...
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00:05:04,496 --> 00:05:05,971
(panting)
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00:05:06,048 --> 00:05:07,380
This feels better.
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This is gonna fix itself,
and then I...
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and then I'll look
for the keys some more.
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Oh, lying down
reminds me that I'm tired.
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I'm always tired.
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Just gonna close my eyes
for a minute.
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But I'm not gonna fall asleep.
154
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Oh, God. I fell asleep.
What time is it?
155
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Where am I? Am I dreaming?
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Am I tiny?
I think I might be tiny.
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Pens. Maps.
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Am I in my glove compartment?
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Wow, that insurance
is very expired.
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(Bob snoring)
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Okay, either I'm actually tiny
and I'm in my glove compartment
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and I should maybe be
a superhero,
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00:05:44,035 --> 00:05:47,824
or I'm dreaming, because
I'm a sleepy, middle-aged man,
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and I fall asleep a lot.
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VOICE: If you're dreaming,
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- then am I dreaming?
- Who said that?
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Me! Rubber Band Squeezy Ball.
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What's it been?
Like, seven years?
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00:05:56,431 --> 00:05:58,640
Pr-Probably, yeah. I'm sorry
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about the glove compartment
not opening, Squeezy Ball.
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Yeah, it's like a tomb in here.
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Man, we used to have
some good times, huh?
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You would find a rubber band
every once in a while
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and then add it on to me.
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(chuckles) Yeah.
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And you'd squeeze me
while you were driving.
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That was, um,
that was our thing.
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00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,002
And you'd come up
with ideas, right?
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00:06:17,026 --> 00:06:18,326
Ideas for burgers and stuff.
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00:06:18,403 --> 00:06:20,190
I-I-I... I guess I would.
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Ah, man, your restaurant
must be so successful by now.
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00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:26,196
What? Oh. No.
I mean, we're open.
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Hey, um, have you seen
a little key?
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00:06:28,913 --> 00:06:30,608
It's really small.
It's, like, uh...
185
00:06:30,632 --> 00:06:33,892
Oh. I mean, it was small.
It-It's about this big?
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00:06:33,969 --> 00:06:36,010
- It's for our safe.
- You got a safe?
187
00:06:36,087 --> 00:06:38,541
Look at you!
For all your restaurant money?
188
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,900
No, it's for, um,
uh, important papers.
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00:06:41,977 --> 00:06:45,019
Wow. I know someone
that has important papers!
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00:06:45,096 --> 00:06:47,021
(chuckles)
I've missed you, Squeezy.
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00:06:47,098 --> 00:06:49,315
(exhales)
I don't know about your key,
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00:06:49,392 --> 00:06:51,860
but you know who might be able
to help? Tape!
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00:06:51,936 --> 00:06:54,891
- Tape?
- Yeah. Your old self-help tape,
194
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,658
Strategies for Living:
How to Become a Strategenius.
195
00:06:58,735 --> 00:07:00,493
Oh, right.
I started listening to that
196
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:02,423
for a little bit
a long time ago.
197
00:07:02,447 --> 00:07:04,164
Not as much as I should have.
198
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,332
But I think I saw it
under the front seat
199
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,668
before I fell asleep.
How do we get out of here?
200
00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:10,907
What if we squeeze out?
201
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,483
Get it? Squeeze? (chuckles)
202
00:07:12,507 --> 00:07:14,507
(chuckles)
Yeah. Yeah, I-I get it.
203
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:16,468
Am I still your best friend,
Bob?
204
00:07:16,544 --> 00:07:18,520
I guess, yes.
205
00:07:19,681 --> 00:07:21,940
All done with Fischoeder's
basketball court toilet.
206
00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:23,494
Wait, did I hook it up
to the sewer line?
207
00:07:23,518 --> 00:07:25,777
- Eh, let's say I did.
- Hoops and poops.
208
00:07:25,854 --> 00:07:28,730
Okay, again. ♪ Bus too slow,
I wanna take a boat. ♪
209
00:07:28,806 --> 00:07:30,576
No, you're-you're supposed
to hit your butt on that.
210
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,929
- I am?
- Yeah. Not the elbow, the butt.
211
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,873
Hey, I know that game.
But I learned it
212
00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:36,766
a different way.
D-Do it with me.
213
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,509
♪ There's Father Gregory
up in the rectory ♪
214
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:41,034
♪ There's Sister Eleanor
going to the liquor store ♪
215
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:43,422
♪ There's all the altar boys
playing dice and making noise ♪
216
00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:45,183
♪ How many combinations
did they roll? ♪
217
00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:46,943
♪ A one and a one ♪
218
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,209
♪ And a one and a two
and a one and a three ♪
219
00:07:49,285 --> 00:07:51,405
♪ And a one and a four
and a one and a five ♪
220
00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:53,224
-♪ And a one. ♪
-Teddy, Teddy, we get it.
We get it.
221
00:07:53,248 --> 00:07:54,600
Yeah, you don't know
where this is going.
222
00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:57,091
♪ A one and a six,
a two and a one... ♪
223
00:07:57,168 --> 00:07:58,621
So everyone can do this
except me?
224
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,513
- Is that what's going on?
- Aw, who wants a hug?
225
00:08:01,589 --> 00:08:03,126
That's not a pity hug?
226
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,128
(grunting)
227
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,629
Ha! We're out.
228
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,986
Whoa.
229
00:08:08,063 --> 00:08:10,271
Uh, this feels dangerous.
230
00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:12,428
It does, doesn't it?
So, you're dreaming,
231
00:08:12,475 --> 00:08:14,119
but if you find the key
in your dream,
232
00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:15,568
you'll find it in real life?
233
00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:17,329
I-I don't know. Maybe.
234
00:08:17,405 --> 00:08:20,406
And if you die in here,
you'll die in real life?
235
00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:22,951
I mean, I hope not.
What's all this?
236
00:08:23,027 --> 00:08:26,079
- Vent ducts. Electrical chassis.
- That's great detail.
237
00:08:26,155 --> 00:08:27,650
It's probably not correct
since I'm dreaming this
238
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,134
and I don't know anything
about cars.
239
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:30,718
ENGINE: No crap you don't!
240
00:08:30,752 --> 00:08:32,179
- (whispers): Who's that?
- That's the engine.
241
00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:33,490
He sounds mad.
242
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:34,899
ENGINE: Hey, true or false?
243
00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:36,493
Cars need their oil changed.
244
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:37,994
- True.
- ENGINE: Don't tell him!
245
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,592
No, I know. Uh, I'm so sorry,
246
00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:42,262
engine. Uh, I-I should be
a lot better about that.
247
00:08:42,338 --> 00:08:44,167
ENGINE:
Every 3,000 miles, dipstick!
248
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,099
DIPSTICK:
Hey, don't drag me into this.
249
00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:48,529
BRAKE PADS:
You got to change
your brake pads, too, man.
250
00:08:48,553 --> 00:08:50,340
Are you not hearing me squeak?
251
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,674
I-I know, everyone.
252
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,648
I-I'm not good
at maintaining things
253
00:08:53,725 --> 00:08:55,275
or, or knowing how to do
254
00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:56,150
the things
I should know how to do.
255
00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:57,518
Uh, but I'm trying.
256
00:08:57,596 --> 00:09:00,372
I-I put the kids'
birth certificates in a safe.
257
00:09:00,448 --> 00:09:03,094
- DIPSTICK: Ooh-la-la.
- BRAKE PADS:
Ooh, big man with the safe, huh?
258
00:09:03,118 --> 00:09:05,326
Okay, we got to go.
We-we have a thing.
259
00:09:05,403 --> 00:09:07,023
Bye. Come on.
260
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,692
- (muttering)
- Disgusting!
261
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,343
Okay, we'll take this
nice and slow.
262
00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:12,551
You can do this, Tina.
263
00:09:12,627 --> 00:09:14,197
Tell your hands
if they get this right,
264
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,129
you're taking 'em out
for ice cream.
265
00:09:16,205 --> 00:09:18,034
- It's weird
that she can't do it, right?
- Yeah, I know.
266
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,938
- What'd you say?
- Everyone knows. Uh, nothing.
267
00:09:19,968 --> 00:09:22,468
Focus on me. All right,
just the hand movements, okay?
268
00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:24,374
Here we go.
Front of hands, back of hands...
269
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,066
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. Too fast.
270
00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:27,899
Front of hands...
271
00:09:27,976 --> 00:09:30,046
Are you driving to the hospital,
Louise? Stop speeding.
272
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:34,147
Front of hands...
273
00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:36,074
- Slower.
- Back...
274
00:09:36,151 --> 00:09:38,555
of... hands.
275
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,819
Easy.
276
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:42,155
Now you clap...
277
00:09:42,231 --> 00:09:43,393
Half that speed.
278
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,992
And cross...
279
00:09:46,069 --> 00:09:47,994
- Slower.
- ...your...
280
00:09:48,071 --> 00:09:49,089
Dear Lord.
281
00:09:49,113 --> 00:09:51,706
Cross your...
Tina, cross your...
282
00:09:51,783 --> 00:09:53,427
This is ruining my memory
of childhood.
283
00:09:53,451 --> 00:09:55,510
You're making Mommy sad, Tina.
284
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,074
(screams, grunts)
285
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,558
- Ow! (groans)
- Whee! (laughs)
286
00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:01,933
- Oh, my back.
- Your back hurts in your dream?
287
00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:03,935
I mean,
once you have back problems,
288
00:10:04,012 --> 00:10:05,489
you kinda always have
back problems.
289
00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:07,608
SQUEEZY BALL: I love the fact
that you're a millionaire
290
00:10:07,632 --> 00:10:09,223
but your car looks like crap.
291
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:11,254
You know, you can tell a lot
about a person
292
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,019
by how they keep their car.
293
00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:14,520
Hi, I'm Tape.
294
00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:18,066
Strategies for Living:
How to Become a Strategenius.
295
00:10:18,142 --> 00:10:20,026
Oh, hey.
We were looking for you.
296
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:21,903
- I'm a big fan.
- I'm-I'm Bob.
297
00:10:21,979 --> 00:10:23,266
Uh, I don't know
if you remember me.
298
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,907
I-I didn't listen
to much of you.
299
00:10:25,983 --> 00:10:27,604
Why would I remember
the guy who bought me,
300
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,794
listened to three minutes of me,
and then left me
301
00:10:29,871 --> 00:10:31,631
on the dirtiest floor
in the world?
302
00:10:31,656 --> 00:10:33,443
I haven't been thinking
about you at all.
303
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,750
- Oh, I'm sor...
- And that's an example
304
00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:38,378
of passive-aggressive behavior,
which is not helpful.
305
00:10:38,454 --> 00:10:41,284
We cover that in chapter nine,
which I guess you'll never hear.
306
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,308
That's not passive-aggressive,
what I just said.
307
00:10:43,385 --> 00:10:45,029
I really think
you'll never hear it.
308
00:10:45,053 --> 00:10:45,977
Bob's a millionaire.
309
00:10:46,054 --> 00:10:47,272
Uh, I-I... No, I'm... (chuckles)
310
00:10:47,296 --> 00:10:49,430
I'm not. Uh, hey,
I-I need your help.
311
00:10:49,507 --> 00:10:50,723
Yes. Yes, you do.
312
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,893
Right. In general
but also with finding a key.
313
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:54,986
A silver key.
314
00:10:55,063 --> 00:10:56,299
Bob, I don't know
where the key is.
315
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,158
But to be effective
in this situation,
316
00:10:58,182 --> 00:11:00,158
you'll need to energize,
synthesize,
317
00:11:00,235 --> 00:11:01,609
then synergize.
318
00:11:01,686 --> 00:11:03,569
Um, I know what one of those is.
319
00:11:03,646 --> 00:11:04,946
But what-what do I do?
320
00:11:05,022 --> 00:11:06,906
Divide the car into quadrants,
321
00:11:06,983 --> 00:11:08,282
so you have attainable goals.
322
00:11:08,359 --> 00:11:09,909
I'm still not following.
323
00:11:09,986 --> 00:11:11,130
You got to look under the seat.
324
00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:12,506
That's what I was doing
when I hurt my back.
325
00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:14,225
- Of course you did.
- Yeah, I'm, uh...
326
00:11:14,249 --> 00:11:15,318
I'm-I'm not in good shape.
327
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,583
Wow, really? That's crazy.
328
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:20,011
You were in such good shape
when you bought me.
329
00:11:20,088 --> 00:11:22,158
Oh, by the way, there's a bunch
of ants coming towards us.
330
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,631
BOB: Oh, God. Ants!
331
00:11:23,708 --> 00:11:24,590
(screams)
332
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:26,300
I'm small, so they're... huge.
333
00:11:26,377 --> 00:11:28,302
TAPE: And organized. And strong.
334
00:11:28,379 --> 00:11:31,000
- Plus, these guys are hungry.
- How can you tell?
335
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,169
TAPE:
Don't you think they have
"let's eat those guys" face?
336
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,435
They do. They totally do.
337
00:11:39,107 --> 00:11:40,843
So, Bob,
priority level one to five,
338
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,845
- where does staying alive rate?
- Oh, uh, five.
339
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,203
- One is the most.
- Oh, sorry. Then one.
340
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,156
Uh, uh, staying alive is
very important to me right now.
341
00:11:48,232 --> 00:11:50,353
All right, I was worried when
you said five, to be honest.
342
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,337
-Me, too.
-Well, I got confused
by your system,
343
00:11:52,361 --> 00:11:54,454
because it's the oppo...
I... Whatever.
344
00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:56,600
-Wh-What should we do here?
-Now that I know our goal is
to stay alive,
345
00:11:56,624 --> 00:12:00,051
let's assess our options
and make an action plan.
346
00:12:00,128 --> 00:12:02,628
I love that. Action plan
sounds great right now.
347
00:12:02,705 --> 00:12:04,200
Want to squeeze me
for ideas, Bob?
348
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,891
Uh, Squeezy, I feel like Tape's
got a good handle on things.
349
00:12:06,968 --> 00:12:09,488
- Right, Tape?
- Life doesn't give you
handles, Bob.
350
00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:11,374
You have to install them
yourself.
351
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,998
See that pencil? Grab it.
352
00:12:13,049 --> 00:12:14,182
Okay. Um...
353
00:12:14,258 --> 00:12:16,142
(grunting) I-I got it.
354
00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:17,621
Bob, stick it
through my right eye
355
00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:19,549
and then hold on for dear life.
356
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,125
Your eye? Won't that hurt?
357
00:12:21,149 --> 00:12:22,201
(sarcastically):
No, it'll feel good.
358
00:12:22,225 --> 00:12:23,816
Just do it! Now!
359
00:12:23,893 --> 00:12:24,946
- BOB: Uh...
- Does "now"
360
00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:27,195
not mean
the same thing to you or...?
361
00:12:27,271 --> 00:12:28,196
Okay, okay!
362
00:12:28,272 --> 00:12:30,081
(grunts) Sorry.
363
00:12:30,158 --> 00:12:33,034
Being organized means never
having to say you're sorry.
364
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:34,127
Hyah!
365
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,899
Whoa...!
366
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:40,091
Hang on! If you have
enough upper body strength!
367
00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:41,968
Which it doesn't look
like you do!
368
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,345
Hyah!
369
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,215
Bob, you need to lick
this cough drop.
370
00:12:47,291 --> 00:12:49,579
- What?
- You're the only one here
with saliva.
371
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:53,179
You need to lick the old cough
drop to reactivate the flavors.
372
00:12:53,256 --> 00:12:54,492
- Seriously?
- Yes!
373
00:12:54,516 --> 00:12:56,349
Lick now! All over!
374
00:12:56,425 --> 00:12:58,351
The tape is very wise, Bob!
375
00:12:58,427 --> 00:13:00,061
Lick the cough drop!
376
00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:02,396
Oh, God,
the ants are climbing up.
377
00:13:02,473 --> 00:13:04,115
(grunting)
378
00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:05,261
It's so dusty.
379
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,578
Get it all... All over!
380
00:13:06,602 --> 00:13:08,161
Get the whole thing moist!
381
00:13:08,196 --> 00:13:09,432
(grunting)
382
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,239
Thath's all I have! Thorry!
383
00:13:11,315 --> 00:13:12,268
Ugh. Fine.
384
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,042
Suck on this, ants.
385
00:13:16,445 --> 00:13:17,498
BOB: Ha!
386
00:13:17,522 --> 00:13:19,413
It's working!
The ants are going away!
387
00:13:19,490 --> 00:13:20,501
Whoo-hoo!
388
00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:22,945
Hey, uh, did anyone
get that on...
389
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,636
tape?
390
00:13:24,712 --> 00:13:26,304
♪ Bus too slow ♪
Again.
391
00:13:26,381 --> 00:13:28,089
♪ Bus too slow. ♪
392
00:13:28,165 --> 00:13:28,973
- Again.
- (door opens, bell jingles)
393
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:30,141
Hello, burger people.
394
00:13:30,218 --> 00:13:32,426
It's half past rent o'clock...
Oh.
395
00:13:32,503 --> 00:13:33,531
Are you doing the handsy damsel?
396
00:13:33,555 --> 00:13:35,315
Mr. Fischoeder,
you know it, too?
397
00:13:35,339 --> 00:13:36,848
Sure! It's been about 60 years.
398
00:13:36,924 --> 00:13:39,036
- Let me see if I remember.
- It's not gonna be easy.
399
00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:41,038
-♪ Theodore Roosevelt
made himself a turkey melt ♪
-Seriously?
400
00:13:41,062 --> 00:13:42,487
♪ Shared it with a bear ♪
401
00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:44,191
♪ And then he told him
how he really felt ♪
402
00:13:44,215 --> 00:13:47,275
♪ Made himself a daiquiri,
drank it in a factory ♪
403
00:13:47,351 --> 00:13:50,139
♪ How many people died
in the fire? ♪
404
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,071
♪ One, ten, 30. ♪
405
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:54,167
That's the best .version.
That's coming to school.
406
00:13:54,191 --> 00:13:55,627
Everyone's gonna be doing this
tomorrow.
407
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:57,313
(quietly): Not everyone.
408
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,315
SQUEEZY BALL:
Whew! That was a close one.
409
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,818
- BOB: Yeah. Nice job, Tape.
- TAPE: Very nice job.
410
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:04,153
Oh, hey, cool jury duty summons
you never responded to.
411
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,794
Yep. That's not just
"not sticking to my plans."
412
00:14:06,871 --> 00:14:08,921
That's losing the mail.
413
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:10,350
And-and what are
all these little notes, Bob?
414
00:14:10,374 --> 00:14:12,662
They look like a bunch
of lost to-do lists.
415
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,331
Is the first item on every list
"lose list"?
416
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,855
Yes, I know, I know.
417
00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:18,692
There-There's
too many things to do.
418
00:14:18,716 --> 00:14:20,859
As a person.
How does anyone do anything?
419
00:14:20,935 --> 00:14:22,268
And-and bathe?
420
00:14:22,345 --> 00:14:24,437
Hey, you're bathing?
I couldn't tell.
421
00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:26,314
- Good for you, Bob.
- (sighs)
422
00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:27,815
Someone else could've bought me.
423
00:14:27,892 --> 00:14:30,535
I could be
in someone's DeLorean right now.
424
00:14:30,612 --> 00:14:33,321
Okay. All right. Tina, take
my spot when you're ready, okay?
425
00:14:33,397 --> 00:14:35,156
- Just jump right in. Here we go.
- Okay.
426
00:14:35,232 --> 00:14:37,116
(overlapping chanting)
427
00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:39,043
Uh...
428
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,190
(chanting continues)
429
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,164
LINDA:
♪ Well, that's for the best. ♪
430
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,883
Now switch up partners
431
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,459
- and triple time.
- Aah!
432
00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:48,336
I hope we find the key soon.
433
00:14:48,412 --> 00:14:50,274
It feels like we've walked
a really long way,
434
00:14:50,298 --> 00:14:52,006
and my tiny feet really hurt.
435
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:53,277
You know,
physical health is a gift
436
00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:55,134
you give yourself every day.
437
00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:58,374
Or, in your case, maybe,
like, twice in your 20s?
438
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,950
Uh, that's pretty generous,
actually.
439
00:14:59,974 --> 00:15:02,378
I-I-I don't take care of myself.
440
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,019
But I-I was thinking
about doing it sometime.
441
00:15:05,096 --> 00:15:06,549
Yeah, you're gonna be
really buff someday.
442
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,217
I can't wait to see that.
443
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,386
- (zapping)
- Anyone else notice the air
444
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,555
getting a little electricity-y?
445
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,056
Whoa.
446
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,289
♪ ♪
447
00:15:17,608 --> 00:15:20,229
- Okay, that seems bad.
- What is it?
448
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,972
It's like all the stuff
I should be better about,
449
00:15:21,996 --> 00:15:24,038
that I left
on the floor of my car,
450
00:15:24,115 --> 00:15:25,401
formed a monster?
451
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,458
And it seems to be
very electrical.
452
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:30,670
I guess that's how my brain
thinks car... power works?
453
00:15:30,746 --> 00:15:32,650
I-I really don't know
what I'm talking about.
454
00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:34,265
Maybe it's my shame?
455
00:15:34,342 --> 00:15:35,342
Shame-tricity.
456
00:15:35,418 --> 00:15:36,937
SQUEEZY BALL:
Your shame is so strong.
457
00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:38,552
Yeah.
It's very strong right now.
458
00:15:38,629 --> 00:15:40,232
- (growling)
- Wait. Look.
459
00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:41,889
It's the key to the safe!
460
00:15:41,966 --> 00:15:43,606
Oh, great! Not it to get it.
461
00:15:43,634 --> 00:15:46,185
So, um, Tape, can you do
some cool tape stuff to it?
462
00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:48,396
Snag the key?
Then lift us out of here?
463
00:15:48,472 --> 00:15:52,024
Stand back, guys. This is where
preparation meets opportunity.
464
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:54,452
And I am prepared to nail this.
465
00:15:54,529 --> 00:15:56,432
Here we go! (grunts)
466
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,600
(shouts, grunts)
467
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,415
Yeah, you're on your own, Bob.
468
00:16:02,069 --> 00:16:04,203
(snoring)
469
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,163
- (growling)
- Tape, you can do it.
470
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,634
We need you, man. (sighs)
471
00:16:07,658 --> 00:16:09,353
I-I can't pump up
a self-help tape.
472
00:16:09,377 --> 00:16:11,803
That's-that's your job.
Self-help yourself.
473
00:16:11,879 --> 00:16:13,473
(strained): Yeah, I'm just
gonna... I'm gonna take five.
474
00:16:13,497 --> 00:16:16,118
Bob, I feel
like maybe you're the only one
475
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,286
that can defeat
the shame-tricity monster.
476
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,884
Again, not it.
477
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:20,645
I don't know how to do that.
478
00:16:20,722 --> 00:16:22,149
- Squeeze me.
- Not right now.
479
00:16:22,173 --> 00:16:23,055
Squeeze me.
480
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:24,890
Ugh, fine. (grunts)
481
00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:26,934
Oh, my God. That's it!
482
00:16:27,011 --> 00:16:29,988
The key is the key!
The key is the key to my shame!
483
00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:31,825
What if I could grab it?
Maybe it would kill the monster.
484
00:16:31,849 --> 00:16:33,970
I like it. I like it.
You're welcome.
485
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,639
And I could use rubber bands
to climb up, so I can reach it.
486
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,331
Where are you gonna get
rubber bands?
487
00:16:38,355 --> 00:16:39,355
Oh, boy.
488
00:16:39,407 --> 00:16:41,143
♪ Say hello to the, uh ♪
489
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,951
♪ Fel-Fellow making yellow
on a cello ♪
490
00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:47,121
♪ Cello's too wet
so we get a clar... ♪
491
00:16:47,198 --> 00:16:48,985
♪ Get a clarinet. ♪
I can't do it!
492
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,125
- I give up!
- No, keep going!
493
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,396
You got to not think about it.
494
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,064
Free your mind,
and your hands will follow.
495
00:16:54,088 --> 00:16:55,515
Or your butt.
I don't know how that goes.
496
00:16:55,539 --> 00:16:57,067
- But keep going.
- (grumbles)
497
00:16:57,091 --> 00:16:59,925
No, clear your head.
♪ Clarinet's too reedy... ♪
498
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:02,331
♪ Clarinet's too reedy,
so we went to Ally Sheedy. ♪
499
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,226
-Uh...
-Don't think about it.
Keep going.
500
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,652
-♪ Ally Sheedy's too busy... ♪
-♪ Ally Sheedy's too busy,
so we got her sister Lizzie ♪
501
00:17:07,676 --> 00:17:09,913
♪ Lizzie Sheedy likes to cuss
when she's driving on the bus ♪
502
00:17:09,937 --> 00:17:11,990
-♪ These are the words
she likes to say ♪
-She's doing it.
503
00:17:12,014 --> 00:17:12,938
- Look at her go.
- ♪ Crotch, dingle ♪
504
00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:14,315
♪ Crap, boob, fart ♪
505
00:17:14,391 --> 00:17:16,108
♪ Nips, tips, double dips ♪
506
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,996
♪ And that's why we drove
off the cliff! ♪
507
00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:19,945
Hell yeah! Hell yeah!
508
00:17:20,022 --> 00:17:21,666
That felt good!
Can I do that again, Mom?
509
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:23,657
Uh, sure, sweetie! Go ahead!
510
00:17:23,734 --> 00:17:26,118
Hell yeah! Hell yeah! (grunts)
511
00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:28,496
Okay, Squeezy Ball,
we need to use you.
512
00:17:28,572 --> 00:17:29,955
What's left of you.
513
00:17:30,032 --> 00:17:31,665
But I still look the same,
right?
514
00:17:31,742 --> 00:17:34,196
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Uh, even younger.
515
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,440
Okay, I'm gonna throw you up
over the top of the seat.
516
00:17:36,464 --> 00:17:38,130
Okay, wait, what are you doing?
517
00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:40,508
Aah!
518
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:41,675
(grunting)
519
00:17:41,752 --> 00:17:43,394
Come on, dream strength!
520
00:17:43,471 --> 00:17:45,041
Oh, I'm so weak.
521
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,397
I only weigh half a pound.
522
00:17:46,474 --> 00:17:48,044
This might be a bad idea.
523
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,851
- There are no bad ideas!
- No, there are.
524
00:17:50,928 --> 00:17:53,646
Yeah, uh, getting a fire safe
and losing the key.
525
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:56,074
- Uh, not listening
to a really good book on tape.
- Yeah.
526
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:58,150
Not cleaning a car ever
527
00:17:58,227 --> 00:18:00,787
now seems
like a really bad idea!
528
00:18:00,822 --> 00:18:03,081
Your shame-tricity monster
is getting bigger, Bob!
529
00:18:03,157 --> 00:18:05,157
Are you making it mad
or something?
530
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,897
I don't know.
I'm kinda giving myself
531
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,087
the opposite of a pep talk.
532
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:11,831
Well, it seems
like that's making it stronger.
533
00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:14,375
Right. It's like I'm,
it's like I'm giving it power.
534
00:18:14,451 --> 00:18:16,405
I wonder
if I stop beating myself up...
535
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,337
Ha! It got smaller!
536
00:18:18,414 --> 00:18:20,242
Okay. All right. Uh, um...
537
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,174
I'm not beating myself up.
538
00:18:22,251 --> 00:18:25,269
I, uh... I'm good at some stuff.
539
00:18:25,346 --> 00:18:27,012
Um, foosball, maybe?
540
00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:28,417
No, I'm not good
at foosball at all.
541
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,919
Oh, no, it just got bigger.
542
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,725
Restaurant stuff!
543
00:18:31,802 --> 00:18:34,061
You're really good
at restaurant stuff!
544
00:18:34,138 --> 00:18:35,354
No, I'm not.
545
00:18:35,431 --> 00:18:37,949
You're
a millionaire restauranteur.
546
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:39,233
Uh, uh-huh. Yeah.
547
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:40,952
Um, what else?
548
00:18:41,028 --> 00:18:43,904
Uh, you have
so many ideas for burgers!
549
00:18:43,981 --> 00:18:45,406
Uh, I mean, I don't know.
550
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:47,408
And I bet you're a great lover.
551
00:18:47,484 --> 00:18:49,034
Oh, no. No.
552
00:18:49,111 --> 00:18:50,369
You have soft hands?
553
00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:52,130
I do have soft hands.
554
00:18:52,206 --> 00:18:54,540
- Oh! I got bigger.
- TAPE: You bought me!
555
00:18:54,617 --> 00:18:56,134
That shows some good judgment!
556
00:18:56,210 --> 00:18:58,302
Yes! I have some good judgment!
557
00:18:58,379 --> 00:18:59,840
But, seriously,
back to the burger thing.
558
00:18:59,864 --> 00:19:03,215
You really do have
so many ideas for burgers!
559
00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:04,954
Okay, you're right! It's true!
560
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,385
I-I am pretty good at burgers!
561
00:19:06,462 --> 00:19:08,888
Yeah! Yeah, you are!
562
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:10,815
Wow, it's really small now.
563
00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:12,962
It's almost cute. Hey, I bet
you could just grab the key.
564
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,630
Couldn't have made it small
before it zapped me, huh?
565
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,689
Cool.
566
00:19:15,713 --> 00:19:17,207
All right,
I'm going for the key!
567
00:19:17,231 --> 00:19:19,969
If I die, I want you guys
to know that I love you.
568
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,620
- SQUEEZY BALL: I love you, too.
- Feels a little soon.
569
00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:23,139
♪ ♪
570
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,662
(shouting)
571
00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:26,164
(screaming)
572
00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:28,477
(grunts)
573
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:32,378
(yells)
574
00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:37,416
Oh, my God.
575
00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:39,010
It worked.
576
00:19:39,128 --> 00:19:40,461
The key is in my hand.
577
00:19:40,537 --> 00:19:41,490
The key is in my hand.
578
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,923
There's no key there. Right.
579
00:19:43,999 --> 00:19:45,685
It didn't feel
like it was in there.
580
00:19:45,709 --> 00:19:47,927
Also, that wouldn't make
any sense.
581
00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:49,595
But that's... okay.
582
00:19:49,672 --> 00:19:52,139
I lost the key, and that's okay.
583
00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:53,599
Oh!
584
00:19:53,676 --> 00:19:55,109
♪ ♪
585
00:19:57,104 --> 00:19:58,529
Mwah.
586
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,344
Mwah.
587
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,327
(kissing sounds)
588
00:20:05,112 --> 00:20:07,183
I'm back. I'm okay.
589
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,000
Were you guys worried?
Did you call the cops?
590
00:20:09,024 --> 00:20:12,021
Yeah... There you are.
591
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,212
You didn't see all
the helicopters we sent for you?
592
00:20:14,288 --> 00:20:15,766
We had the best guys
on the case.
593
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:17,623
Everyone, I want you to meet,
594
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,195
uh, two very good friends.
595
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,460
This is Squeezy Ball
and this is Tape.
596
00:20:21,537 --> 00:20:23,106
Gene, I also found
your cough drop.
597
00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:24,672
My lucky cough drop!
598
00:20:24,748 --> 00:20:25,943
You didn't lick it, did you?
599
00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:27,341
Technically, no.
600
00:20:27,418 --> 00:20:29,038
- Well, did you find the key?
- No.
601
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,177
But that's okay.
602
00:20:30,254 --> 00:20:32,063
I-I'm good at some things,
603
00:20:32,139 --> 00:20:33,639
and I'm not good at some things.
604
00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:35,474
And-and that's okay.
605
00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:36,695
Hang on.
Let me get a pencil, Dad.
606
00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:38,121
- This is gold.
- Right.
607
00:20:38,145 --> 00:20:40,905
But the animal hospital
volunteer thing I want to do?
608
00:20:40,982 --> 00:20:43,357
We're-we're gonna go.
We're gonna go register you.
609
00:20:43,434 --> 00:20:44,744
We're gonna take the safe
with us.
610
00:20:44,768 --> 00:20:45,779
I'm sure they've dealt
611
00:20:45,803 --> 00:20:47,239
with exactly this kind
of thing before.
612
00:20:47,263 --> 00:20:49,132
You know what, though? I kinda
want to do marching band now
613
00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:51,393
because... ♪ Look what Tina
can do with her hands! ♪
614
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,534
Do they do .that
in marching band?
615
00:20:53,610 --> 00:20:55,880
- They will.
- Do you need
a birth certificate?
616
00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:57,291
- Nope.
- I love it.
617
00:20:57,315 --> 00:20:58,625
♪ Look what Tina
can do with her hands ♪
618
00:20:58,649 --> 00:21:01,070
♪ Look what Tina can do
with her hands ♪
619
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,929
♪ Look what Tina
can do with her hands ♪
620
00:21:02,953 --> 00:21:05,137
♪ Look what Tina can do
with her hands ♪
621
00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:08,432
- (echoing)
- ♪ Look what Tina ♪
622
00:21:08,509 --> 00:21:10,103
- ♪ Can do with her hands ♪
- ♪ Boob ♪
623
00:21:10,127 --> 00:21:12,270
♪ Fart, nips, tips,
double dips ♪
624
00:21:12,346 --> 00:21:14,226
♪ And that's why we drove
off the cliff ♪
625
00:21:14,298 --> 00:21:17,086
♪ Look what Tina ♪
626
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,420
♪ Can do with her hands ♪
627
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,854
Hell yeah! Hell yeah!
628
00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:23,897
♪ Look what Tina can do
with her hands ♪
629
00:21:23,974 --> 00:21:25,928
♪ Look what Tina
can do with her hands ♪
630
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,671
♪ Look what Tina can do
with her hands ♪
631
00:21:27,695 --> 00:21:35,695
♪ Look what Tina
can do with her hands. ♪
632
00:21:35,719 --> 00:21:37,719
>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org
632
00:21:38,305 --> 00:22:38,766
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