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♪ ♪
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Who are the real-world Illuminati ?
Find out @ saveanilluminati.com
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LINDA:
Come on! We're dying out here!
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I spent all week
on that costume.
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- We want to see you in it.
- LOUISE: Hold on, woman!
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Three kids getting
in a group costume here.
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There's a lot
of Tina's boobs in my face.
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GENE: And Gene's.
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So, Teddy,
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you gonna go home
and hand out candy?
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Uh, no,
I'm gonna go donate blood,
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the candy of the veins.
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Ugh. I mean, good for you.
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You're gonna donate blood?
At night? On Halloween?
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Yeah, it's fun.
They turn the bloodmobile
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into a vampire mobile.
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Hey, you guys should come.
It's right down the street.
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I want to give my blood
to a vampire car.
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Bob, What do you say?
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- You want to come donate blood with me and Linda?
- Mm, no.
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Bob's a little squeamish
around blood,
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but I'm in
'cause I'm a good person.
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Great. You know what
blood type you are?
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I'm AB. It's half an ABBA.
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I'm A positive. I remember
'cause it was my first A plus.
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And Bob is O negative.
I remember that 'cause I said,
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"Oh, don't be negative
just 'cause
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I got a better grade
on my blood test, you."
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- (laughs)
- Wait. Bob, you're O negative?
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- That's amazing.
- Why?
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Isn't O negative stupid blood?
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No, O negative is
the universal donor blood.
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They can put your blood
in anyone.
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- Your blood is hero blood.
- Oh, God, is it?
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You got to come donate blood
with us, Bobby.
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No, I don't, Teddy.
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And I know that might make me
a horrible person,
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but, oh-oh... oh, well.
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Wow. Hero blood just
sloshing around inside of you.
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- (guttural groaning)
- But you won't let someone
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stick a needle in there
and fill up a blood bag?
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- Oh. Oh.
- Teddy, no.
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- He's gonna faint. Stop.
- LOUISE: Okay, We're ready.
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Ta-da. Snailed it.
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What? Oh. Ha!
'Cause you're a snail.
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You guys can breathe
in there, right?
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I don't want to be the mom
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who suffocated her kids
in a giant snail.
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We can breathe just fine.
See, I'm breathing
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through the candy-hatch here.
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I thought we were calling that
the fart vent.
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It's both. And it also happens
to be wide enough
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for an entire bowl of candy
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from a certain
candy-stiffer's house.
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I-I mean,
a single piece of candy,
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which is all we plan on taking.
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Wait a minute.
Does this have anything to do
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with that one house that ran out
of candy a few years ago
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that you can't let go
of for some reason?
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First of all,
it was two years ago,
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and then they stiffed me again
last year,
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but I can't believe
you remember that.
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I barely remember that.
(laughing)
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- (doorbell rings)
- ALL: Trick-or-treat.
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Here you go.
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Full-sized Professor Caramels?
Mama likey.
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- GENE: Mmm.
- Uh-oh.
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That was our last one.
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-Sorry.
-Wait. Seriously? You're out of candy?
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Come back next year,
and we'll, uh...
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we'll give you
twice as much candy, okay?
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Yes, of course.
These things happen.
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I will see you in 365 days.
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Trick-or-treat!
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GENE AND TINA: Trick-or-treat.
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One for you, one for you,
and one for you.
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Um, aren't you forgetting
something?
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Happy... Halloween?
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Guys, it's me, from last year.
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From when you ran out of candy,
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and you promised
to make it up this year?
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Mm, no, I don't remember that.
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(laughs) You're messing with me.
Good one.
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Okay, now go ahead and plop
another candy into my bag.
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- Excuse me?
- You guys owe me double candy.
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So, double me up. On the double.
Let's go, double time.
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Okay, I think you should go now.
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Not without my candy!
Let me at that bowl!
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You know what?
Now we're gonna take this back.
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No! That's-that's my property!
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This isn't over.
This... isn't... over!
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- (all gasp)
- TINA: Oh, no! Attack leopards!
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- (all whimpering)
- (leopards growling)
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- (panting)
- Aah! Get away! Get off me!
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There were attack leopards?
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I don't remember
the attack leopards.
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-Shh, shh, shh, shush. You probably just blocked it out.
-(phone ringing)
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Bob's Burgers.
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A-a to-go order? Uh, uh, wait.
Let me get a pen.
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- Where's a pen?
- Uh, pen, pen, pen.
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Want me to make one real quick?
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I got a bucket of paint
in the truck.
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Can we have
a quick snail conference?
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Louise, when I signed on
for this costume,
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I was hoping to do
some major sibling bonding.
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- And we will.
- I guess I just thought,
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once we got
inside the snail suit,
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you'd hopefully change your mind
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and maybe not want to steal
an entire bowl of candy?
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Yeah, I don't want
bad candy karma.
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Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup,
not stealing.
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It's candy justice.
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Hey, when someone stiffs
one of us,
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they stiff all of us,
right, guys?
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- I... guess?
- The Three Stiff-ka-teers.
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Don't worry
your snail head about this.
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We're gonna walk up
to their house.
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They open the door.
They won't see our faces.
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Tina, you'll do all the talking.
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Distract them by commenting
on their decor.
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Maybe something like
the line we talked about.
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(sighs) "Check out that wall.
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"Where'd you get it? Walmart?"
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Exactly. Anyway,
they'll start blabbering,
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I'll open the hatch
and grab their candy bowl.
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- Justice served.
- Uh...
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So I guess
we're gonna deliver a burger.
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- We do that?
- It's for someone staying
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at the hotel
at the end of the block.
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It's so close,
I just said "yes."
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Also, making money
is... is good.
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- Right?
- Attaboy, Bob.
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- Uh, we can deliver it for you, Dad.
- Really?
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Yeah. And it's not
at all because
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I'm putting off something
that I really don't want to do.
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No, no, no, no, no. Sorry, Dad.
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We're busy. Nice try.
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- They might give us a tip.
- Okay, we'll do it.
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I mean, who can resist
tipping three adorable kids
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- with tip-me face.
- And tip-me butt.
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♪ Put the money in my bum-bum. ♪
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Gene.
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Hello?
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- Is anyone here?
- TINA: I guess we should wait
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in the lobby for a hotel person
to take the burger?
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Or we take it up
ourselves to... room 313.
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'Cause we got to hustle.
Candy justice awaits.
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Candy Justice sounds
like a show about a stripper
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who's also a judge.
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(elevator bell dings)
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(lights buzzing)
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TINA: This isn't creepy at all.
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Really? 'Cause I have both
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the heebies and the jeebies.
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(lights buzzing)
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WOMAN (chanting):
Regnum intrare spiritum.
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Regnum intrare spiritum.
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I go bye-bye now.
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Hey, everyone gets excited
about burgers
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in their own way.
Also, tip money.
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Burger delivery.
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WOMAN: Enter.
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Regnum intrare spiritum.
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Oh, good. The bait's here.
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Uh, bait? Bait for what?
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- Come. Come in.
- Are we the bait?
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I'm not baiting around
to find out.
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(all screaming)
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(all screaming)
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- (Tina panting)
- What the hell that was that?
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An elderly hippie demon lady?
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Okay, let's just
put that behind us.
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It was unfortunate,
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but you know what makes
everything better?
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- Dry underwear?
- Candy. Let's go. Um, Gene,
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where's the snail-shell
part of the costume?
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Uh-oh. I may have dropped it
in creepy lady's room
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because I was scared
and so were my hands?
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Damn it, Gene. We need that.
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That's what covers our faces.
Ugh. We got to go back.
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Wait. What? Go back into there?
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Or we leave the shell part
up there,
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we don't do your plan, and now
our costume is a confident snail
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that's coming out of its shell?
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No, we're gonna get the shell,
then everything's gonna be fine.
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For some of us.
Ha-ha-ha. Kidding.
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For all of us.
Tina, you go first.
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-(door closes) -Hello.
- ALL: Aah!
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- Where'd you come from?
- From right down here.
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I was bending over.
So, are you trick-or-treating?
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We don't get a ton
of trick-or-treaters,
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but we got a bunch of
sewing kits or shower caps.
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- You look like shower-cap kids.
- Thank you.
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We were just here delivering
a burger
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to a creepy old lady
in room 313,
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but one of us dropped part
of our costume in there.
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Ah, Dolores. (chuckles)
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I guess conjuring up the spirit
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of your dead lover
can make you hungry.
200
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Wait. Did you say
"Conjuring the spirit"?
201
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"Of her dead lover"?
202
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Yup. Dolores checks
into room 313
203
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every Halloween
to conjure him up.
204
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Brings in a lot of lookie-loos.
205
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Good for business.
206
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Well, you should see us
the rest of the year.
207
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- Hi, kids.
- Oh, hi, Gus.
208
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- They were just asking about Dolores.
- Yup.
209
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Dolores's lover died
on Halloween night
210
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in room 313, 50 years ago,
so she comes up here every year
211
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to conjure up Roger's spirit.
212
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- Aw.
- A Roger conjure.
213
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And a bunch of us hang out
in the lobby,
214
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take in the vibe,
have a few drinks,
215
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and hope the ghost shows up.
216
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It's a haunted hoot.
And, you know, Dolores would be
217
00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:38,623
an age-appropriate match
for Old Gus.
218
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Sorry, Gus. We're on the clock.
219
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So, can we mm...?
220
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Uh...
221
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Totally normal lady,
it's us again.
222
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May I just grab that
snail shell? Don't hurt me.
223
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Good luck
on conjuring the spirit
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- of your dead lover.
- Thank you.
225
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Does it work, by the way?
I'm just curious.
226
00:07:54,716 --> 00:07:56,758
It hasn't worked yet,
but hopefully,
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by adding his favorite food
as bait...
228
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This cheeseburger...
I can finally lure him here.
229
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Well, we're rooting for you two.
230
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And when he shows up,
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I'll banish him to hell
for all eternity.
232
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:08,948
-Huh? -What? -Whoa.
233
00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:10,967
Oh, crap.
I hope Roger didn't hear that.
234
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,658
Well, that sounds fun, but we
got to snail-trail out of here.
235
00:08:13,735 --> 00:08:15,305
Or maybe we can stay
a little bit.
236
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I just want
to catch some dark arts,
237
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- hear the damnation download.
- Ugh.
238
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,198
Okay, a minute.
239
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It's so great
you're coming with us, Bob.
240
00:08:21,743 --> 00:08:23,668
I'm walking with you.
241
00:08:23,745 --> 00:08:25,815
I'm gonna look at the van
because Teddy said
242
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,299
he wouldn't leave
unless I look at the van.
243
00:08:27,323 --> 00:08:29,176
Trust me, once you see
what they did to it,
244
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,136
you'll change your mind
about donating blood.
245
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,419
- TEDDY: Huh?
- LINDA: Fun.
246
00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:36,130
(as Dracula):
Welcome to Transyl-vein-ya.
247
00:08:36,207 --> 00:08:37,827
- Get it?
- (as Dracula): Soon,
248
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,426
we will drain you
of one pint of your human blood.
249
00:08:40,503 --> 00:08:43,304
Then you can relax here
and enjoy cookies and juice.
250
00:08:43,381 --> 00:08:45,023
(sighs) Oh, boy.
251
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,360
Uh, okay, I saw it.
Now I'm leaving.
252
00:08:46,384 --> 00:08:48,338
(coughs) O negative.
253
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,673
- What?
- (coughs) O negative. Mm-hmm.
254
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,175
O neg? Really? Uh...
255
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,993
(as Dracula): Well, well, well.
256
00:08:54,017 --> 00:08:55,369
(as Dracula):
It's not every day we get
257
00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:57,847
to suck a universal
blood donor's blood.
258
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,854
Wait, I-I'm not donating blood.
259
00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:02,626
(normal voice):
Huh, seriously? You're O neg,
but you're not gonna donate?
260
00:09:02,650 --> 00:09:05,326
Sorry, guys, I just have a thing
about blood and needles.
261
00:09:05,403 --> 00:09:08,121
You'll be fine. We work with
needle weenies all the time.
262
00:09:08,197 --> 00:09:10,707
Uh, I-I don't love that term.
263
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,218
Hey, just think of how happy
you could make someone.
264
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:15,389
(in childish voice):
Hey, mister, you saved my life,
265
00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:18,339
and now I'm gonna go out
and save the rain forest.
266
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,370
You're doing a lot of voices.
267
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,844
Oh, no. I'm slipping away.
268
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,375
Beep. Beep. Beep...
269
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,377
- He's dying.
- Somebody do something!
270
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,879
Fine. I'll donate
my really great blood.
271
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,381
- Yay.
- You just saved the boy
272
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,198
who's gonna save
the rain forest.
273
00:09:33,222 --> 00:09:34,406
What's the "rain forest"?
274
00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,219
LOUISE: So what did Roger do
275
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,151
to deserve eternal damnation?
276
00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:40,039
Did he eat
the last slice of pizza?
277
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:41,580
Oh, it was a long time ago.
278
00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:43,226
We were young, we were dating.
279
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,416
I hate him.
280
00:09:44,492 --> 00:09:46,418
We were edgy back then.
281
00:09:46,494 --> 00:09:49,254
We were even gonna try this
new thing called "Thai food,"
282
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:52,373
but we had to leave 'cause
Roger came down with a cold.
283
00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:55,835
Even coughing and sneezing,
he was a handsome bastard.
284
00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:58,379
- Hot. I think?
- But our last date was
285
00:09:58,456 --> 00:10:01,266
at the Halloween party
in this hotel,
286
00:10:01,343 --> 00:10:02,601
50 years ago.
287
00:10:02,677 --> 00:10:05,219
Roger looked amazing
as Spartacus.
288
00:10:05,296 --> 00:10:07,232
It seemed like
we were in our own little world.
289
00:10:07,256 --> 00:10:10,850
He was tossing nuts into the air
and catching them in his mouth
290
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:12,279
- to impress me.
- GENE: I'm impressed.
291
00:10:12,303 --> 00:10:16,022
I was, too.
How do people do that?
292
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:19,734
Roger went to get us drinks,
and he never came back.
293
00:10:19,811 --> 00:10:22,904
- What?
- I asked around, if anyone's seen Spartacus.
294
00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:25,100
People kept saying,
"I am Spartacus,"
295
00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:26,458
but I hadn't seen the movie,
296
00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:27,920
so I didn't know
what they were referring to.
297
00:10:27,944 --> 00:10:30,128
Finally, someone told me that
298
00:10:30,205 --> 00:10:33,414
they saw him at the elevator
with I Dream of Jeannie.
299
00:10:33,491 --> 00:10:34,415
I couldn't believe it.
300
00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:36,279
I was devastated.
301
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:40,421
The next day, I read
in the paper that he'd died
302
00:10:40,498 --> 00:10:42,090
in this very room.
303
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,257
He was murdered?
304
00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:44,884
No, it was cardiac arrest.
305
00:10:45,002 --> 00:10:46,645
There was no sign of foul play,
306
00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:49,222
but I bet there was
some foreplay, the creep.
307
00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:52,225
They canoodled, she left,
and then he died.
308
00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:53,301
Typical man.
309
00:10:53,344 --> 00:10:55,436
And so, every year since,
310
00:10:55,513 --> 00:10:58,990
I've come here
to conjure that no-good,
311
00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,325
cheating S.O.B.'s spirit
312
00:11:00,402 --> 00:11:02,494
and send it to hell!
313
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:05,738
I mean, wasn't him dying
kind of enough of a punishment?
314
00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:07,143
Hell just seems
like kind of a lot.
315
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,311
And so sweaty.
316
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,480
Tina, let her have it. I get it.
317
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,172
I got my own little vendetta
going on tonight.
318
00:11:12,196 --> 00:11:13,650
Can't you both just move on?
319
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:16,152
Halloween's about forgiveness...
I think.
320
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,793
Forgiveness and Frankenstein...
The two Fs.
321
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:20,461
Yeah, so maybe forgive this guy
322
00:11:20,538 --> 00:11:22,400
who wrote you what looks
like 10,000 love letters.
323
00:11:22,424 --> 00:11:24,402
- (scoffs)
- "Dear Glorious Dolores,
324
00:11:24,426 --> 00:11:27,163
"I was thinking of you today,
and it made me think of you...
325
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,054
"your smell, your neck parts,
the way your eyes light up
326
00:11:30,131 --> 00:11:31,834
when I smell your neck parts."
327
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,120
Dolores, this doesn't sound
like a cheater wrote it.
328
00:11:34,144 --> 00:11:35,360
A cheater did write it.
329
00:11:35,437 --> 00:11:37,173
But what if what you think
happened didn't happen?
330
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,158
What if there's
another explanation?
331
00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:41,160
Okay, Miss I Just Walked
in Here with a Burger
332
00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:42,817
and Now I Know Everything."
333
00:11:42,894 --> 00:11:45,111
Yeah, knock it off,
Stally Parton.
334
00:11:45,188 --> 00:11:47,207
We've got to go see
a Ven about a Detta.
335
00:11:47,231 --> 00:11:48,759
(groans)
I don't want to vendetta.
336
00:11:48,783 --> 00:11:50,669
And I don't think Dolores
should vendetta, either.
337
00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:52,838
- I mean, isn't it possible Roger is innocent?
- No.
338
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:54,502
- But maybe?
- No!
339
00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:56,008
But what if there was a way to
figure out that he didn't cheat?
340
00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:57,716
There's not, so drop it.
341
00:11:57,792 --> 00:12:00,793
Yeah, Tina, drop it so we can go
pick-up some stinkin' candy!
342
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:02,031
Wait, how about this?
343
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,849
Give me a chance...
It's still early.
344
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,276
If I can't figure it out,
I'll go do your plan.
345
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,203
Sounds good. I like that.
346
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,396
But if I can, then we go
trick-or-treating like normal.
347
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:10,845
No vendettas, just candy.
348
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:12,063
Ooh, I like that.
349
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,231
So what do you say?
350
00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:15,152
I say you're on,
you poor romantic idiot.
351
00:12:15,176 --> 00:12:16,176
Oh, my!
352
00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:18,381
This one's not rated PG-13.
353
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,365
- Give me that.
- (chuckles): Oh.
354
00:12:24,152 --> 00:12:25,388
WOMAN (gasps):
I just got cold, right?
355
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,747
Is it cold in here?
Ghost-y cold?
356
00:12:26,771 --> 00:12:28,079
Could be ghost-y cold.
357
00:12:28,156 --> 00:12:29,530
Ah, this is gonna be the year.
358
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:31,227
I bought this camera online.
359
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,803
It can take pictures
of apparitions.
360
00:12:32,827 --> 00:12:33,730
And Jupiter.
361
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:34,588
Jupiter's my cat.
362
00:12:34,612 --> 00:12:36,123
Okay. So, it's not great
363
00:12:36,147 --> 00:12:38,509
that Dolores kicked us out
of her room to keep conjuring.
364
00:12:38,533 --> 00:12:40,552
But at least she let us keep
some letters and photos.
365
00:12:40,576 --> 00:12:42,721
- Hot leads here, I betcha.
- Come on, Tina.
366
00:12:42,745 --> 00:12:44,907
Give up, and let's go get
that bowl of candy
367
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,431
while there's still candy in it.
368
00:12:46,508 --> 00:12:48,652
No. I'm gonna prove
Roger's not a cheater,
369
00:12:48,676 --> 00:12:49,770
and then we're gonna
trick-or-treat
370
00:12:49,794 --> 00:12:51,271
without committing
any candy crimes.
371
00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:53,106
Okay. So, here's a group photo.
372
00:12:53,130 --> 00:12:54,889
Halloween night, 50 years ago.
373
00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:56,994
And there's I Dream of Jeannie,
the temptress.
374
00:12:57,018 --> 00:12:58,109
But who was she?
375
00:12:58,186 --> 00:12:59,110
GENE She's tall,
376
00:12:59,187 --> 00:13:00,779
likes big, boxy belt buckles,
377
00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:02,407
- BBBBs.
- Yeah, what's up
378
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:03,617
with that boxy belt buckle?
379
00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:04,949
It's not very genie-ish.
380
00:13:05,026 --> 00:13:07,096
Kinda just looks
like the belt buckle of someone
381
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,173
- who steals someone's boyfriend.
- (door opens)
382
00:13:09,197 --> 00:13:11,250
Did I miss anything?
Any sightings? Any cold spots?
383
00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:12,918
I felt a cold spot.
Didn't I just say that?
384
00:13:12,942 --> 00:13:14,102
I think I just said that.
385
00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:15,679
I think you might just be
underdressed?
386
00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:18,296
You guys seem a little young
to be conjuring enthusiasts.
387
00:13:18,373 --> 00:13:20,133
Oh, no, some of us
are trying to prove
388
00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:22,186
that Dolores's theory
about Roger is wrong.
389
00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:24,188
Wait a minute,
you think Roger wasn't
390
00:13:24,212 --> 00:13:25,448
a cheating cheat-face cheater?
391
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,783
I know. It's ridiculous.
392
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,308
It's not ridiculous,
and I'm gonna prove it,
393
00:13:28,332 --> 00:13:30,119
if I can just concentrate
for a second.
394
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,261
Uh, but, uh, can that wait
until after she conjures Roger?
395
00:13:33,337 --> 00:13:34,720
I kinda told everyone at work
396
00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:37,148
that I was gonna take a picture
of a ghost.
397
00:13:37,225 --> 00:13:38,702
- (whimpering)
- Okay. We're all set.
398
00:13:38,726 --> 00:13:40,151
Now it's time for... Hey!
399
00:13:40,228 --> 00:13:41,989
That's an amazing
Big Bird costume.
400
00:13:42,013 --> 00:13:42,937
(squeals)
401
00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:43,966
- You felt that?
- Yes!
402
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:44,992
But I distracted you.
403
00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:46,157
My arm still feels it
404
00:13:46,234 --> 00:13:47,158
when you shove a needle in it!
405
00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:48,137
(sighs): Oh, boy.
406
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,472
- Uh, what?
- (groans)
407
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,995
Looks like I didn't find a vein.
408
00:13:51,072 --> 00:13:52,958
- I'm gonna have to try it again.
- (weakly): What?
409
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:55,002
Hey, uh, look at that,
uh, Star Wars costume.
410
00:13:55,026 --> 00:13:56,312
- Space, am I right?
- (squeals)
411
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,578
- Did you get it?
- No, nope, nope. Not in.
412
00:13:58,654 --> 00:14:00,424
Your veins roll away
from the needle.
413
00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,840
(woozy gurgling)
414
00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:03,727
It's like your veins
are playing hard to get, Bob.
415
00:14:03,751 --> 00:14:04,917
Not like mine.
416
00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:06,972
The needle slid
right into my beefy vein.
417
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:08,599
- (gurgling)
- (groans)
418
00:14:08,623 --> 00:14:09,922
Let's try the other arm.
419
00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:11,643
Okay, really make a fist
this time.
420
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,851
Hey! Oh, look. There!
421
00:14:12,927 --> 00:14:14,927
- (squeals)
- (groans) Damn it.
422
00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:17,074
You said you were very good
with needle weenies.
423
00:14:17,098 --> 00:14:18,984
You're the worst weenie
I've ever had.
424
00:14:19,008 --> 00:14:20,933
This is ridiculous.
425
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,913
It's Halloween, and all I've got
is this bowl of nuts.
426
00:14:22,937 --> 00:14:24,178
(chewing)
427
00:14:24,255 --> 00:14:26,417
Uh, I-I feel totally close
to a-a breakthrough.
428
00:14:26,441 --> 00:14:27,993
(chewing) Well, now I'm thirsty.
429
00:14:28,017 --> 00:14:30,776
Do you think the barkeep knows
his way around a ginger ale?
430
00:14:30,853 --> 00:14:33,206
Wait, Roger went to get drinks
after he was eating nuts.
431
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:34,425
(gasps dramatically)
Oh, my God, Tina.
432
00:14:34,449 --> 00:14:36,824
You mean salty peanuts
made someone thirsty?
433
00:14:36,901 --> 00:14:39,118
Are we on CSI: Salty Nut Unit?
434
00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:41,162
Dumb investigation time is over.
435
00:14:41,238 --> 00:14:42,046
It's candy bowl o'clock.
436
00:14:42,123 --> 00:14:43,842
- Let's go.
- No, I'm so close.
437
00:14:43,866 --> 00:14:45,528
I just need to look
at that dang group photo again.
438
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,051
The photo,
439
00:14:47,128 --> 00:14:48,680
- the letters... they're gone!
- (gasping)
440
00:14:48,704 --> 00:14:50,129
Okay, that is odd.
441
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:51,222
What the heck?
442
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:53,174
Now I really need a ginger ale.
443
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,726
Antonio, make it a double!
444
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:00,710
So, someone took my photo?
445
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,453
And Roger's letters? Why?
446
00:15:02,477 --> 00:15:03,713
Maybe it was Ken Burns.
447
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,311
He loves old photos and letters.
448
00:15:05,388 --> 00:15:06,812
Guess what, people, you mess
449
00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:09,126
with the snail head,
you mess with the snail tail.
450
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:11,387
And now the snail tail
wants some answers.
451
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,389
Thanks, Louise.
Maybe someone didn't want us
452
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,615
to find out the truth,
453
00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:16,893
didn't want Dolores
to stop coming around.
454
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:17,968
Yeah, maybe someone
who wanted Dolores
455
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,201
to keep trying
to conjure up Roger
456
00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:22,536
so they could say
they saw a ghost and take
457
00:15:22,613 --> 00:15:23,757
- a picture.
- Huh?
458
00:15:23,781 --> 00:15:25,706
- Or was it you, Gus?
- Oh, my!
459
00:15:25,783 --> 00:15:27,260
Maybe you don't want Dolores
to stop coming in here
460
00:15:27,284 --> 00:15:28,428
'cause maybe you have
a little crush.
461
00:15:28,452 --> 00:15:30,503
What? Oh, I'm-I'm blushing.
462
00:15:30,579 --> 00:15:31,930
But I didn't take anything.
463
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:33,576
Maybe it was that guy.
464
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,912
What? I'm on my way to a party.
465
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,063
I only came in to use
the little bees' room.
466
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:39,749
I did. It went great.
467
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,088
I'm glad those aren't real bees.
468
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:44,058
'Cause if I got stung,
I'd "bee" in the hospital.
469
00:15:44,135 --> 00:15:46,071
With anaphylactic shock.
(chuckles)
470
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:47,164
I'm seriously allergic.
471
00:15:47,188 --> 00:15:48,925
And bathrooms are
for customers only.
472
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,115
- Next time. Can't undo it.
- Wait a minute.
473
00:15:51,192 --> 00:15:53,618
Maybe it was you, Mr. Manager.
474
00:15:53,695 --> 00:15:55,695
- (yelps)
- You get more business
475
00:15:55,771 --> 00:15:58,100
if Dolores keeps coming here
year after year.
476
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,510
(gasps) That's true.
477
00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:01,604
- Of course.
- It wasn't me.
478
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,922
Sure, Dolores brings
a Halloween bump in business,
479
00:16:03,946 --> 00:16:06,673
but that doesn't mean
I'd mess with your totally
480
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:09,068
not annoying investigation
to keep people coming here.
481
00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:11,585
Aah! Well, no one leaves
until we figure this out.
482
00:16:11,662 --> 00:16:12,545
I'm leaving.
483
00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:14,046
Oh, yeah, you can go.
484
00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:16,003
- (laughing)
- (music playing)
485
00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:18,955
♪ Nothing having to do
with blood is happening ♪
486
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,554
♪ I'm just sittin' in a chair ♪
487
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:25,391
♪ And I'm not lookin'
at anything at all. ♪
488
00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:27,893
(woozy): Oh, no.
489
00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:29,966
(exhales) What happened?
490
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,772
Oh, oh... (gurgles)
491
00:16:31,849 --> 00:16:34,659
(grunts)
I-I got to be done by now.
492
00:16:34,736 --> 00:16:35,660
Hello?
493
00:16:35,737 --> 00:16:37,903
I-I-I think I'm all done!
494
00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:40,832
Hey, I need someone to take
this needle out of my arm!
495
00:16:40,908 --> 00:16:42,812
(laughing)
496
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:43,916
It's getting too full.
497
00:16:43,986 --> 00:16:45,578
It's gonna take all my blood.
498
00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:46,816
(panting): Oh, God.
499
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,172
I got to get out of here.
500
00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:50,060
Okay, I'm just gonna rip this
out of my arm.
501
00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:52,010
No! No, I'm not.
502
00:16:52,086 --> 00:16:55,296
I got to get help. Mm...
503
00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:57,465
(gasps) Okay, okay.
504
00:16:57,541 --> 00:16:59,017
Ev-Everything's coming with me.
505
00:16:59,093 --> 00:17:01,071
(inhales, exhales)
I can do this.
506
00:17:01,095 --> 00:17:02,428
(inhales deeply, exhales)
507
00:17:02,505 --> 00:17:05,356
(gurgling, grunting)
508
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:06,985
Almost there. (grunts)
509
00:17:07,009 --> 00:17:08,838
Oh, come on.
(grunting, gurgling)
510
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,102
(screams)
511
00:17:10,179 --> 00:17:11,771
(gurgles)
512
00:17:11,847 --> 00:17:13,509
Okay, let's run through
what happened.
513
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,983
Roger caught peanuts in
his mouth, which is very cool.
514
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:17,943
- And sexy.
- It's okay.
515
00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:19,206
He then leaves you
to go get drinks.
516
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:20,479
The next thing we know,
517
00:17:20,557 --> 00:17:22,948
he's seen by the elevator
with I Dream of Jeannie?
518
00:17:23,025 --> 00:17:25,378
And in the morning, he's found
dead of cardiac arrest.
519
00:17:25,402 --> 00:17:26,689
Huh. Peanuts.
520
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,381
Drinks. Cardiac arrest.
521
00:17:28,405 --> 00:17:29,933
I still think
the bee guy did it.
522
00:17:29,957 --> 00:17:31,510
- (gasps) That's it!
- I'm right?!
523
00:17:31,534 --> 00:17:32,695
- No!
- (grumbles)
524
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:33,885
Anaphylactic shock!
525
00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:34,794
He's allergic to bees.
526
00:17:34,870 --> 00:17:36,837
Roger was allergic to peanuts!
527
00:17:36,914 --> 00:17:38,892
Think about it. Their date
at the Thai restaurant.
528
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,341
He came down with a sudden cold?
529
00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:41,842
Thai food is super peanut-y.
530
00:17:41,919 --> 00:17:43,614
And the night he died,
he was eating nuts.
531
00:17:43,638 --> 00:17:44,937
But he died of a heart attack.
532
00:17:44,972 --> 00:17:47,209
Well, maybe an allergic reaction
can cause that?
533
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,100
It can. Oh, baby, it can.
534
00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:50,551
If he was allergic,
535
00:17:50,628 --> 00:17:52,978
why was he catching
all those peanuts in his mouth?
536
00:17:53,055 --> 00:17:55,718
Really showboating,
getting me all worked up.
537
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,369
Well, he probably
didn't realize it.
538
00:17:57,393 --> 00:17:59,221
Allergies can come on
later in life.
539
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,891
When I was in my 20s,
I was all about bees.
540
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,801
I used to catch 'em
and shake 'em.
541
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:05,728
But that still doesn't explain
542
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,879
why Roger went upstairs
with I Dream of Jeannie.
543
00:18:07,903 --> 00:18:09,253
Which is why I want to look
544
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:10,808
at the group photo
that someone stole.
545
00:18:10,832 --> 00:18:13,666
- And that someone is Dolores!
- (gasping)
546
00:18:13,742 --> 00:18:15,835
But, but how did you know?
547
00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:16,964
It was a hunch.
548
00:18:16,988 --> 00:18:17,907
And then I saw the photo
sticking out
549
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:18,838
of the back of your pants.
550
00:18:18,914 --> 00:18:20,242
Oh. You can see this?
551
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,716
Wait, you took the photo
and the letters?
552
00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:25,719
Yes. And it's my own
damn business why I did it.
553
00:18:25,796 --> 00:18:26,679
TINA: I Dream of Jeannie.
554
00:18:26,755 --> 00:18:27,847
She's the final piece.
555
00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:29,107
Who was she?
556
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:30,891
Or, possibly, who was "he"?
557
00:18:30,968 --> 00:18:32,279
- Huh?
- Look.
558
00:18:32,303 --> 00:18:34,612
That's an Adam's apple
that we didn't notice
559
00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:36,021
'cause someone stole the photo.
560
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:38,210
And knuckle hair
that looks like shag carpet.
561
00:18:38,234 --> 00:18:39,336
And why's he wearing a pager?
562
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,912
(gasps) That thing's a pager?
563
00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:43,290
GUS: Yeah. That's how
pagers looked back then.
564
00:18:43,314 --> 00:18:45,267
I had one
when I owned this town.
565
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,866
This was all my turf.
566
00:18:46,942 --> 00:18:47,770
I was untouchable.
567
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,627
They called me Payday. I...
568
00:18:49,704 --> 00:18:52,037
I mean,
when I was a-a bike messenger.
569
00:18:52,114 --> 00:18:53,851
I bet I Dream of Jeannie
was a doctor.
570
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:55,155
They used to have male doctors.
571
00:18:55,209 --> 00:18:56,634
And I bet he was helping Roger,
572
00:18:56,711 --> 00:18:58,656
because Roger was having
an allergic reaction.
573
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,380
Tina, I think your stupid story
might be right.
574
00:19:01,457 --> 00:19:03,360
Roger ate some peanuts,
started getting symptoms.
575
00:19:03,384 --> 00:19:04,769
TINA: He goes to the bar.
576
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:05,643
He's sweaty, woozy.
577
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:06,980
And Dr. Jeannie-Man notices
578
00:19:07,004 --> 00:19:09,244
and says maybe he needs
to lie down, so...
579
00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:11,293
LOUISE: He helps Roger to the
elevatr so he can go to his room
580
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,633
and get some rest.
581
00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:14,296
Maybe they didn't know
about peanut allergies.
582
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,206
Male doctors probably weren't
that good back then.
583
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:17,989
My poor Roger.
584
00:19:18,065 --> 00:19:19,899
He didn't cheat on me.
585
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:21,804
At least he died
doing what he loved,
586
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,662
eating peanuts in a hotel lobby.
587
00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:26,664
(laughs) You full-bottom-ists.
588
00:19:26,741 --> 00:19:28,719
- You're a hoot!
- It's "phlebotomist."
589
00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:30,053
- What did I say?
- Well, uh,
590
00:19:30,077 --> 00:19:31,744
Bob should be about finished.
591
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:33,649
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.
592
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,456
What? What-what is it?
593
00:19:35,532 --> 00:19:37,135
- (woozy groaning)
- Oh, crap.
594
00:19:37,159 --> 00:19:39,062
Here, let me, uh,
clean you up a little bit.
595
00:19:39,086 --> 00:19:40,794
And I'll give you extra cookies
596
00:19:40,871 --> 00:19:42,182
if you don't tell anybody
about this.
597
00:19:42,206 --> 00:19:43,475
(weakly): Huh. Okay.
598
00:19:43,499 --> 00:19:44,348
That's fair.
599
00:19:44,425 --> 00:19:45,505
Congratulations, Bob.
600
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:47,092
You donated blood one time.
601
00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:48,664
Come on, let's hear it for Bob!
602
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,166
- Everybody!
- (mouth full): I did it.
603
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,690
- Yes, you did.
- I can do anything.
604
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:55,434
I saved your life!
I saved your life!
605
00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:57,102
I-I got to sit down.
606
00:19:57,179 --> 00:20:00,314
So why did you take the photo
and the letters, Dolores?
607
00:20:00,391 --> 00:20:03,150
Oh, I was having a cocktail
at the bar.
608
00:20:03,227 --> 00:20:05,369
I needed
a little conjuring break.
609
00:20:05,446 --> 00:20:08,184
And I overheard you talking
and I suddenly thought,
610
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,927
"What if this was all just
a huge waste of time?
611
00:20:09,951 --> 00:20:11,542
What if she's right?"
612
00:20:11,619 --> 00:20:12,521
And she was.
613
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,522
About you.
614
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,120
And maybe about me, too.
615
00:20:15,197 --> 00:20:16,859
I feel like a fool.
616
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,027
Makes sense. Sorry.
617
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,863
Roger, I'm so sorry.
618
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,887
I mean, it's sorta romantic.
619
00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:24,505
In your own twisted way,
620
00:20:24,581 --> 00:20:25,868
you loved Roger so much
621
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,704
that you kept this thing going
for 50 years.
622
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,635
A-And just to put this
out there,
623
00:20:29,712 --> 00:20:31,512
Gus might still be in the lobby.
624
00:20:31,588 --> 00:20:33,472
- Not a bad rebound guy.
- Hmm.
625
00:20:33,549 --> 00:20:35,026
I'd like to see that guy
catch a nut.
626
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,069
(wind hissing)
627
00:20:36,093 --> 00:20:38,402
Oh, now you decide to come,
Roger?
628
00:20:38,479 --> 00:20:40,646
- Whoa.
- Someone's jealous.
629
00:20:40,723 --> 00:20:42,033
So I guess this means
I lose our bet
630
00:20:42,057 --> 00:20:43,482
and we won't do my amazing plan?
631
00:20:43,559 --> 00:20:45,387
Yep. Just treats, no tricks.
632
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,964
- Let's get out there, huh?
- Sure, sure, sure.
633
00:20:46,988 --> 00:20:48,557
But what if we go to that house,
634
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,581
we totally just get candy
normally,
635
00:20:50,658 --> 00:20:53,062
and we open the fart hatch
and Gene does a little fart?
636
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:55,422
-Nope.
-Okay, so I just fart inside the snail
637
00:20:55,446 --> 00:20:56,704
and we all die like Roger?
638
00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:59,498
Too soon.
Actually, no, it's not.
639
00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:02,404
♪ I went on down
to the party next door ♪
640
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:05,838
♪ The music sounded groovy,
and I wanted more ♪
641
00:21:05,914 --> 00:21:08,933
♪ Then, at the end,
that's when things got weird ♪
642
00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:11,747
♪ 'Cause everyone there
had been dead for years ♪
643
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,222
- ♪ It was a spooky soiree ♪
- ♪ La, la, la, la ♪
644
00:21:15,299 --> 00:21:16,994
♪ Those ghouls could shimmy
and shake ♪
645
00:21:17,018 --> 00:21:18,442
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
646
00:21:18,519 --> 00:21:20,422
♪ It was a spooky soiree ♪
647
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,946
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
648
00:21:22,064 --> 00:21:23,592
♪ They're dancin'
back from the grave ♪
649
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,524
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
650
00:21:25,601 --> 00:21:27,078
♪ That guy's dead
and that guy's dead ♪
651
00:21:27,102 --> 00:21:28,621
♪ That lady died
peacefully in bed ♪
652
00:21:28,645 --> 00:21:30,788
♪ That guy doin' the boogaloo ♪
653
00:21:30,865 --> 00:21:33,065
♪ Pretty darn sure
that he's dead, too. ♪
654
00:21:33,089 --> 00:21:35,089
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00:21:36,305 --> 00:22:36,760
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