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♪ ♪
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Get ready for the time capsule
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that was buried
at Wagstaff 50 years ago.
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Thank you, Mr. Branca,
for digging it up.
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Not my job... but it's okay.
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Oh, I thought there was a guy
buried there named Tim Capsule.
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Let's crack it open.
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And lending a hand will be
student volunteer, Tina.
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Thanks, Mr. Frond.
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You might say we have
some history between us.
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- Heh. Um, um, uh...
- What? Okay, okay.
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-(stammering) -Can we just do
this before it starts raining, please?
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(both gasp)
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Quite an odor.
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It smells like ass!
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Trying not to breathe too much.
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Here's a cootie catcher.
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Imagine the ancient cooties
it may still contain.
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Wagstaff yearbook.
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Not super diverse.
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Tina's killing it up there.
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And by "it,"
I mean "my interest."
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Shh, Gene, the station's
doing another contest
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for free Boyz 4 Now tickets.
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Which I want to win...
as a joke.
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Classic "winning incredibly
valuable tickets as a joke."
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Never gets old.
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Yeah, wouldn't it be
hilarious if I won?
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Me sitting randomly in the front
row five seats from Boo Boo,
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this person who doesn't
even care... take that!
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Me! Boo Boo! Five feet!
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Okay, I get it...
Let go of my arm!
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And this, I believe,
is a stuffed animal?
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- That is a dead mole.
- Okeydokey.
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Cute, though.
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FROND: Hold on. Louise Belcher?
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Are you listening to a radio?
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I'm trying
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to find local news coverage
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of this historic
time capsule opening.
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Did you not alert
the media, Mr. Frond?
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No. Was I supposed to?
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LOUISE: Obviously.
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(sighs) Maybe they're on it.
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I'll keep listening.
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Uh, right. Thank you.
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Uh-huh. Oh, my God!
They're giving tickets
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right now to the 17th caller.
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Isn't that the
emergency cell phone
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we're only supposed
to use for emergen...
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For being the 17th caller? Yeah.
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- (line ringing)
- They're answering!
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RADIO DJ:
Congratulations, caller...
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Oh, my God!
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- ...twelve.
- (groans)
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(muttering): Psychopath.
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Oh, here's a note.
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Looks like bugs read it first.
(chuckles)
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"Dear future students
of Wagstaff..."
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And it's gone.
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Well, a powerful message
just the same.
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So I just missed out on
Boyz 4 Now tickets for us, Tina.
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(scoffs) Dodged a bullet, huh?
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- Whew! (groans)
- Darn, it's sold out, too.
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And I hear since they're
only playing intimate venues
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like the Wharf Arts Center,
that Boo Boo guarantees
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he'll make eye contact with
every girl in the audience.
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Gah! Why would I even care
about that, Tina?!
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I wouldn't! Care!
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Why is it always
my arm's fault?!
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Oh, Tina. So, I guess the way
this whole time capsule thing
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works is now we have to do one.
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- You mean we get to do one.
- Sure.
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And since you've
shown an interest,
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how'd you like to coordinate it?
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So I don't have to.
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Me? Really?
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Yeah, get some submissions
from students...
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Decide what best
represents Wagstaff?
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Who lives, who dies,
who tells their story?
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Kind of regretting this now.
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Have complete control,
so it can be done right,
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unlike those slackers
50 years ago?
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No offense.
Were you one of them?
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No. How old do you think I am?
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- A lot.
- How old is Dumbledore?
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Wow.
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ALL: Ooh!
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I understand the past now,
Old Tina.
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And no dead moles.
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Tina, choosing you for this
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was the greatest decision
of my life.
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Mr. Frond, you're still alive!
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I was just waiting for this day.
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Bye.
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I won't let you down, Mr. Frond.
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Good. I mean, how could you?
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It's putting crap in a box.
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TINA:
So what am I looking
at here, Peter?
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It's a diorama of a classroom
of kids making dioramas.
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Got to give this a maybe.
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See if any good stuff
comes along.
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I worked really hard on it.
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Don't take this the wrong way,
Peter, but maybe save
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the diorama for your mama? Next.
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It's a poem...
It's about kickball,
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but it's not really
about kickball.
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Yeah, here's the deal, Rudy.
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- My name's on this thing...
- It is?
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Not literally,
but maybe it can be?
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So, yeah, what goes
in the capsule
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has to be really,
really special.
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My dad cried when he read it.
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I'm gonna slide it down
to the maybe pile, Rudy.
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Oh, wow, that's an awful lot
in the maybe pile.
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It's gum, so future people
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- will know about gum.
- TINA: Maybe.
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These are Andy's toenails
so they can clone him.
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And Ollie's toenails
so they can clone him.
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- Or mix them and make an Allie!
- Or an Olldie!
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- Or Michelle Pfeiffer!
- TINA: Maybe.
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50 years is, like, a really
annoying time to wait, Tina.
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But here,
it's a tube of lip balm.
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Here's my wow needle...
It's on one.
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Uh, how dare you?
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Strawberry lemongrass is
the flavor of our time.
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Sorry, Tammy, I'm after history,
not a hissy-fit story.
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Oh, my God,
Tina has so much power.
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- (Tammy grunts)
- My lip balm is cherry.
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- (Teddy munching)
- LINDA: Teddy, slow down!
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I'm hurrying 'cause
my truck's double-parked.
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If you see a cop just whistle.
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Well, I don't know
how to whistle.
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How about I fart twice?
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One long, one short.
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Linda, you can't whistle?
Seriously?
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Um, isn't it weirder
that she can fart on command?
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One long and one short?
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Yeah, I can't whistle, Teddy.
So what?
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(whistles) Oh, my God, sorry.
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That was so insensitive.
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It's okay! Relax.
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Yeah, lots of people
can't whistle.
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I mean, I've never met one,
besides Linda.
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They probably keep
to themselves,
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because of, you know, the shame.
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- (scoffs) The shame?
- Sorry.
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I-I'm just biased
because I happen to be
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a pretty good whistler.
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Or so people tell me a lot.
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- (Bob whistling)
- It's true.
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If "Me and Julio Down
by the Schoolyard"
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comes on, watch out, Julio...
Here comes this guy!
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Yeah, yeah,
Mr. Flute-face over here.
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I can do some stuff
you can't do.
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Like r-r-roll my Rs.
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Let's see you do that, big shot.
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(rolls Rs)
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You know I can't, Lin.
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Maybe today you can, try it.
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- (mumbling)
- Ha!
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Who cares?
Rolling Rs is a fringe sound.
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Whistling is-is like having...
a-a bird living inside of you.
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Oh, yeah, what kind of bird?
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A r-r-red br-r-reasted
r-r-robin?
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Guys, please, I-I didn't
mean to start something.
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Teddy, you're getting a ticket.
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What?! Linda, you were
supposed to fart.
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(door bells jingle)
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So, Arnold, this is a piece
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of wood that you say
you karate chopped.
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Impressive if true.
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If true...
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Dang, Tina's time capsule's
tougher to get into
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than a pistachio
with no crack in it.
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I just swallow those whole.
Is that bad?
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I don't think Tina knows
what she wants.
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- What was that, Rudy?
- Nothing! They were talking!
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Checking in, Tina.
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How's the time capsule coming?
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So far we've got
a lot of maybe-babies,
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but we're still
in the discovery phase.
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Well, remember we have
to bury the capsule tomorrow.
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They're re-sodding
the school lawn this weekend.
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Because it's a mess.
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I don't know why they let
kids play on the grass.
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What is this, Switzerland?
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Also we dug a big hole in it.
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Oh, and I've decided to give you
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Buried Emotion Emma
for the capsule.
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"Buried" and buried?
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(chuckles) I couldn't resist.
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Also I'm mad at her.
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Uh, terrific.
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I'll just put that over here.
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Oh, come on.
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RADIO DJ:
Hey, we've got the last pair
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00:06:22,365 --> 00:06:24,361
of Boyz 4 Now tickets to give
away to the fourth caller!
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00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,960
Great! This stupid contest
is almost over, right?
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00:06:27,112 --> 00:06:29,170
- (busy signal beeping)
- Crap, it's busy!
202
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,910
-Redial, redial.
-We have our lucky
fourth caller on the line!
203
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,203
- No.
- Who's this?
204
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,787
- Henry Haber.
- What?!
205
00:06:34,919 --> 00:06:37,420
You don't have to ask me to turn
down my radio. (chuckles)
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I understand feedback loops.
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00:06:38,849 --> 00:06:40,326
That guy should meet
our Henry Haber.
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00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:41,711
They sound like
they'd hit it off.
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00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,535
And my regards
to the morning zoo.
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Henry, you like Boyz 4 Now?!
W-Why?!
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00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,501
I don't listen to them,
but Susmita identifies
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as something
called a Griffen Gal.
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It should've been me, not you.
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Not that I care.
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I'm just walking away.
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Okay, Tina, I've pressed
my face on some loose-leaf paper
217
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so future people can see
how I did my makeup.
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It's great, it's in,
you're welcome.
219
00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:04,517
The only problem is that
Wagstaff is a grade school,
220
00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,461
- not a clown college.
- (grunts) That's it!
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00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:08,668
You know what, I'm gonna do
my own time capsule.
222
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Your own time capsule?
223
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Yeah, and it's gonna be bigger
224
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and better and anyone
who wants to go into it, can.
225
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And forget 50 years.
226
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- We're gonna open it in a week!
- Wait, what?
227
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In a week, we'll know what
we were doing this week.
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I'll take that, thank you.
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Hot dang... a Tam capsule!
230
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I want in!
231
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Wait... let me just...
hold on, uh...
232
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Thank you, toss it on in.
233
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Welcome to the Tam Capsule.
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Uh, let's all slow down
and take a breath.
235
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Peter, w-we were pretty close
to a deal, buddy.
236
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R-Rudy, l-l-let me read
your poem again.
237
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- I know I missed something.
- Here's a poem for you, Tina.
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- Uh-huh?
- You snooze, you lose!
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00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,282
- Oh.
- Why does poetry
always go over my head?
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So can't you cancel
Tammy's time capsule?
241
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Or-or tell the police it's
a drug chest full of drugs?
242
00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:55,992
I can't stop Tammy
from making a time capsule.
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I could barely stop that one kid
from keeping bees in his locker.
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There will just be
two time capsules.
245
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,872
Yours, which is the authorized,
official one.
246
00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:04,794
And then the cool one
that people want to be in.
247
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,393
(groans) Anyway, looks like
I might be able to squeeze in
248
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,728
Buried Emotion Emma after all.
249
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,042
Oh, don't you wish.
250
00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:12,826
TINA:
So now everybody wants
to be in Tammy's time capsule
251
00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:14,495
and in 50 years
when my capsule is opened,
252
00:08:14,519 --> 00:08:15,955
I'm gonna look
completely ridiculous!
253
00:08:15,979 --> 00:08:17,623
Judging from the way
Dad's aging,
254
00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:20,056
we're all gonna look completely
ridiculous long before that.
255
00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:21,116
Louise.
256
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,408
Excuse me, Father,
257
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,338
but I've also had
a difficult day.
258
00:08:24,362 --> 00:08:26,505
I had to... console Tina
259
00:08:26,656 --> 00:08:28,485
when Henry Haber ended up
with the last two tickets
260
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,674
to Boyz 4 Now.
261
00:08:29,826 --> 00:08:31,729
She's really struggling
right now, Dad.
262
00:08:31,753 --> 00:08:33,105
- Look at her!
- Hmm?
263
00:08:33,129 --> 00:08:34,699
Aw, that's r-r-rotten,
isn't it, Bob?
264
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,443
R-R-Really,
r-r-really r-r-rotten?
265
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:37,574
Seriously, Lin?
266
00:08:37,676 --> 00:08:38,742
I know, nice accent.
267
00:08:38,802 --> 00:08:40,185
I'm loving Mom Connery.
268
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,181
Gene, did you just say
whistle something?
269
00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:43,079
- No.
- Okay.
270
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:44,167
- (Bob whistling)
- Oh.
271
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,410
You sound like a sexy teakettle.
272
00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:48,693
More caser-r-role, anyone?
273
00:08:48,886 --> 00:08:50,045
Caser-r-role?
274
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,582
TINA:
This isn't casserole, but okay.
275
00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:53,698
Everything is casser-r-role!
Casser-r-role.
276
00:08:53,891 --> 00:08:55,887
- This is what I picture
their wedding night was like.
- Casser-r-role.
277
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,431
HENRY: Susmita,
278
00:08:57,562 --> 00:08:59,516
I don't understand
why you're upset.
279
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,860
You took my social studies
homework and corrected it.
280
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,600
As a romantic surprise.
281
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,435
You wrote
"mediocre effort" on it.
282
00:09:05,495 --> 00:09:07,287
And the "O" in mediocre
is a heart.
283
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,214
- (grunts)
- Susmita!
284
00:09:09,407 --> 00:09:11,194
Hmm, trouble in Haber-dise?
285
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,770
Wait a minute, all I have to do
286
00:09:12,794 --> 00:09:15,273
is date Henry Haber
and he'll do my homework?
287
00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,463
So, a lot of dirt,
but the new sod is coming
288
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,438
and will look amazing
for the one week
289
00:09:19,584 --> 00:09:21,042
you kids aren't allowed on it.
290
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,447
And now, time capsule time.
291
00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:25,789
Thank you again, Mr. Branca,
for your digging.
292
00:09:25,849 --> 00:09:27,118
Now there are two holes.
293
00:09:27,142 --> 00:09:28,286
Still not my job.
294
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:29,568
It's okay.
295
00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:31,978
Yes, we welcome
Tammy's time capsule.
296
00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:33,666
Wow, look at the size
of that thing.
297
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:36,149
I had to stomp on the stuff
to get the lid shut.
298
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,054
So what did you
end up with, Tina?
299
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,485
Looks like some barrettes...
300
00:09:39,638 --> 00:09:40,820
and a sticky note that says
301
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,767
"IOU cool stuff from the past...
302
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,808
Tina. Maybe check eBay?"
303
00:09:44,868 --> 00:09:46,326
Capsule? More like crapsule.
304
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,380
- (blows raspberry)
- I know. I wanted this
305
00:09:48,404 --> 00:09:49,640
capsule to be
full of amazing things
306
00:09:49,664 --> 00:09:50,775
that told a story
about our time.
307
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,235
It just didn't come together.
308
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,150
- Let's just bury these things.
- Wait!
309
00:09:54,252 --> 00:09:55,738
I have something else
for the time capsule.
310
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,321
- Henry, are you okay?
- Do I look okay?
311
00:09:58,381 --> 00:10:00,577
In general or right now?
Doesn't matter... no.
312
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,061
Susmita doesn't want
to go with me
313
00:10:02,085 --> 00:10:03,763
to tomorrow night's
Boyz 4 Now concert.
314
00:10:03,787 --> 00:10:05,627
I can't put my broken heart
in the capsule,
315
00:10:05,797 --> 00:10:08,492
but I can put in
these two tickets.
316
00:10:08,516 --> 00:10:11,109
- (all gasping)
- The fool!
317
00:10:11,302 --> 00:10:13,837
I just saw the movie Titanic
and there's a beautiful scene
318
00:10:13,897 --> 00:10:17,093
involving Old Rose
and a heart-shaped necklace.
319
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,342
Thanks, now I'm crying
all over again.
320
00:10:19,402 --> 00:10:21,194
Those two empty front row seats
321
00:10:21,346 --> 00:10:23,586
with band meet-and-greet
and unlimited green room
322
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:27,016
buffet privileges will be
a testament to my lost love.
323
00:10:27,077 --> 00:10:29,461
Cool gesture, Henry,
and mint unused tickets
324
00:10:29,654 --> 00:10:31,694
to the most influential
boy band of our time
325
00:10:31,748 --> 00:10:33,276
would pretty much
save my crapsule,
326
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,467
uh, capsule,
but let's take a breath.
327
00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,785
You might get back together
with Susmita,
328
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,807
i-if you crazy kids
can make that work.
329
00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:41,714
Or you could probably
find someone
330
00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:43,808
to take those dumb things
off your hands.
331
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:46,030
(whispers):
Or I could find someone.
332
00:10:46,054 --> 00:10:48,699
- I just thought, I...
- I'll take 'em
for my capsule... done!
333
00:10:48,723 --> 00:10:51,040
-No! -(gasps) -Plant 'em.
334
00:10:51,101 --> 00:10:52,651
LOUISE:
I can't believe Tammy did that.
335
00:10:52,844 --> 00:10:54,301
Tacky ticket taker.
336
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:56,396
Henry was trying to give them
to me, not her.
337
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,676
- And then he was
gonna give them to me.
- I know.
338
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,178
And now those tickets
are in Tammy's capsule,
339
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,471
four feet in the ground.
340
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,014
- Just sitting there.
- Mocking us.
341
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,307
- It's not right.
- It's bullcrap!
342
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,664
It's all kinds of crap.
343
00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:07,501
Goat, donkey.
I-I don't know, camel?
344
00:11:07,525 --> 00:11:08,811
- Tina?
- Yes, Louise?
345
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,669
Are we thinking the same thing?
346
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,190
That it's amazing that we
haven't bumped into each other
347
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:14,150
- once while mad pacing?
- That is, actually.
348
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,735
- But, also, that we should...
- Dig them up and steal
349
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,103
- those bad boys?
- Dig them up and steal...
350
00:11:17,127 --> 00:11:18,488
- Oh, my gosh!
- Yes.
351
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:19,939
It's like we share
a brain sometimes.
352
00:11:19,963 --> 00:11:21,163
Sister brain. I have to pee.
353
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,083
Do you have to pee, too?
Sister bladder?
354
00:11:23,107 --> 00:11:25,753
Uh, no. Go pee and then we'll
figure this all out, buddy.
355
00:11:25,777 --> 00:11:28,687
(whoops) Tina and I
are gonna go to that show.
356
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,224
(whoops) Louise and I are
putting those tickets
357
00:11:30,248 --> 00:11:31,356
in my time capsule.
358
00:11:31,507 --> 00:11:32,835
Sure you don't
have to pee, Louise?
359
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,779
We could go together.
Nope, can't wait.
360
00:11:37,647 --> 00:11:40,408
LOUISE:
Stealing these tickets is going
to be more than a two-girl job.
361
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:43,070
It's a "two girl
and one perky boy" job.
362
00:11:43,094 --> 00:11:44,422
So Gene will be joining us.
363
00:11:44,446 --> 00:11:46,090
He's excellent
at blocking people's view
364
00:11:46,114 --> 00:11:48,467
when you don't want them to see
you digging up time capsules.
365
00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:50,928
- Just call me Gene the Screen.
- Hold on.
366
00:11:50,952 --> 00:11:52,730
Tammy said she's gonna open her
capsule in a week.
367
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,024
If the tickets are missing,
someone's gonna guess it was us.
368
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,608
- So we cover our trail
by leaving fake tickets.
- Fake tickets?
369
00:11:58,668 --> 00:12:00,755
After we dig them up,
we make perfect copies
370
00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:02,220
on Ms. Selbo's color copier.
371
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,389
I once used it to counterfeit
a dollar and you...
372
00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:07,445
um, the person that
I gave it to never noticed.
373
00:12:07,469 --> 00:12:09,038
- W-Wait, what?
- Uh-huh. So, the time
374
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,915
to pull this off
is after school tomorrow
375
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,064
before Mr. Branca locks up.
376
00:12:13,257 --> 00:12:14,877
Smart. No one around,
except office staff.
377
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,741
And the kids who do clubs
and activities.
378
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:19,295
Slow down. You're saying our
school has clubs and activities?
379
00:12:19,355 --> 00:12:21,555
Tina, you'll dig while Gene
stands in front of you,
380
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,908
inconspicuously blocking you
from sight.
381
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,970
I'll do tai chi like that cool
senior flash mob in the park.
382
00:12:27,030 --> 00:12:29,581
Then I'll talk my way past
Ms. Selbo and make the fakes.
383
00:12:29,774 --> 00:12:31,177
We'll put those
in Tammy's capsule,
384
00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:32,245
and you'll bury it again.
385
00:12:32,269 --> 00:12:33,585
Wait, I'm doing all the digging?
386
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,732
Yes, because you're
the strongest, Tina.
387
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,442
Especially when you get mad
about something.
388
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,999
Yeah, then you get crazy
puberty Hulk strength.
389
00:12:40,151 --> 00:12:43,152
- No, I don't.
- Tina, Tammy stole
those tickets.
390
00:12:43,254 --> 00:12:46,139
(shouts) Oh, wow, I guess I do.
391
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:48,992
(humming)
392
00:12:49,052 --> 00:12:51,581
Hey, Lin, have you seen
our order-up bell?
393
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:52,678
It's disappeared.
394
00:12:52,831 --> 00:12:54,431
- No, that's weird.
- Oh, no!
395
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:57,420
I loved that bell.
It was good, it was pure.
396
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,630
Yeah, I guess we'll have
to figure something else out.
397
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,090
Oh, how about this?
398
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,947
When an order's up,
I'll whistle.
399
00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:04,857
- (whistles)
- (scoffs)
400
00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:06,951
Oh, no, our spindle's gone, too.
401
00:13:07,144 --> 00:13:08,839
What do we do
with the old tickets?
402
00:13:08,863 --> 00:13:10,789
We'll have to r-r-roll them
into a ball
403
00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:13,440
- and th-r-ow them away.
- Oh, boy.
404
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,460
Oh, um, order up. (whistles)
405
00:13:15,653 --> 00:13:17,848
- R-R-Rolling. Th-r-owing.
- Guys, guys, come on.
406
00:13:17,872 --> 00:13:19,464
We've all got our things, right?
407
00:13:19,657 --> 00:13:22,875
Me, I can make a sound like I
have a baby stuck in my throat.
408
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,636
(muffled shouting)
409
00:13:24,787 --> 00:13:26,173
- Oh, my God.
- Scary.
410
00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,508
It doesn't make me better
than anyone.
411
00:13:27,532 --> 00:13:28,826
Mort, you can probably
do something.
412
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:31,034
Well, I can click my jaw.
I have TMJ.
413
00:13:31,094 --> 00:13:34,020
- (clicking)
- More like TMI, Mort.
414
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,357
(school bell rings)
415
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,876
Nothing to see here,
after-school activity kids.
416
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,180
Just a boy doing tai chi outside
417
00:13:47,351 --> 00:13:49,639
to improve balance
and prevent falls.
418
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,423
Could really use
some digging help, Louise.
419
00:13:51,447 --> 00:13:54,057
Tina, look at my arms.
They're so small and spindly.
420
00:13:54,117 --> 00:13:55,561
How about this? (gasps)
421
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,728
Oh. Tammy's time capsule
just won a Capsy Award.
422
00:13:58,788 --> 00:14:00,487
(shouting)
423
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,823
- Here it is.
- Now we fake it to the limit.
424
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,159
(shouts, grunts)
How are old people in the park
425
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,928
so good at this?
426
00:14:07,964 --> 00:14:09,572
Hey, Ms. Selbo. What's up?
427
00:14:09,632 --> 00:14:12,350
Don't mind me,
I got to do some color copying.
428
00:14:12,543 --> 00:14:14,388
Oh, hi, Louise.
What are the copies for?
429
00:14:14,412 --> 00:14:16,115
They're for my many clubs
and activities.
430
00:14:16,139 --> 00:14:17,983
I'm just gonna load
some card stock in here.
431
00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:19,577
Which clubs are you in?
432
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:21,745
I thought I was pretty
on top of who's in each one.
433
00:14:21,769 --> 00:14:25,421
And who wishes they were in one.
Brian Schlesinger, Yearbook.
434
00:14:25,481 --> 00:14:27,090
Which clubs am I in? Huh.
435
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:29,275
French Club,
Junior Toastmasters.
436
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,278
French Toastmasters. Easier to
talk about the clubs I'm not in.
437
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:34,097
- Ha, ha, ha.
- (laughs)
438
00:14:34,198 --> 00:14:36,598
You know who else could talk
about the clubs he's not in?
439
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,855
- Brian Schlesinger. (laughs)
- Ah, ha, ha.
440
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,211
Keep dreaming, guy. Right?
441
00:14:40,404 --> 00:14:42,121
Okay, I'm done. Bye.
442
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,607
In you go. Now we rebury.
443
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:47,051
(grunting) This is gonna work.
444
00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:48,887
Take that, Tammy's dumb capsule.
445
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,533
TAMMY: Uh, what are you doing?
446
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:51,701
(gasps) Tammy.
447
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,616
And Jocelyn, also.
448
00:14:53,676 --> 00:14:55,371
Wait, why do you have a shovel?
Oh, my God.
449
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,675
You were gonna take the tickets.
450
00:14:56,788 --> 00:14:58,532
No, we weren't.
Oh, yeah, we were.
451
00:14:58,556 --> 00:15:00,534
-(chuckles)
-I should be mad,
but you know what?
452
00:15:00,558 --> 00:15:03,234
You saved us a lot of digging.
Let's have those tickets.
453
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:04,955
- Or what?
- Or I'll say you stole them.
454
00:15:04,979 --> 00:15:06,999
Which you would only know if you
were trying to steal them.
455
00:15:07,023 --> 00:15:08,885
Oh, which you would only know
if you were trying
456
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,554
- to steal them first.
- Which you would only know...
457
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,985
Wait, I'm lost.
458
00:15:13,138 --> 00:15:15,466
This shovel's heavy.
I'm gonna put it down.
459
00:15:15,490 --> 00:15:17,101
Should I tai chi them
out of here?
460
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,142
Fine, Tammy, we give up.
Just take them.
461
00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:21,305
- Louise!
- She outsmarted us, Tina.
462
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:24,497
- Let's go, Jocelyn.
- And could you guys put away
our shovel for us?
463
00:15:24,649 --> 00:15:26,591
- Thank you.
- Well, I guess that's it.
464
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,840
Except for one thing.
Those weren't the real tickets.
465
00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:30,486
- These are.
- What?
466
00:15:30,546 --> 00:15:34,323
I made a few extra fakies
for just-in-case-kies. (laughs)
467
00:15:34,384 --> 00:15:36,250
- Good thinking.
- So, let's go the show!
468
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,843
Yeah. Wait, um...
469
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,290
Oh, you mean,
put them in my capsule.
470
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,180
- (laughs): What? No.
- Oh, dear.
471
00:15:41,332 --> 00:15:44,442
Are we not on the same page?
What happened to sister brain?
472
00:15:44,593 --> 00:15:46,372
You said you didn't want
to go to Boyz 4 Now.
473
00:15:46,396 --> 00:15:48,613
Duh, I didn't mean it.
You tried to talk Henry
474
00:15:48,764 --> 00:15:51,023
out of putting his tickets
in your stupid capsule.
475
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,670
Duh, I didn't really mean that.
476
00:15:52,694 --> 00:15:54,096
I just didn't want him
to rush into anything.
477
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,511
But hey, it's what Henry wanted.
478
00:15:55,571 --> 00:15:57,508
He just put them
in the wrong capsule.
479
00:15:57,532 --> 00:15:58,917
It's a mistake a lot of people
have been making.
480
00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:00,127
- Don't you want to go?
- Of course I do.
481
00:16:00,151 --> 00:16:01,495
Of course I want
to see that song
482
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:02,963
where they bend over
and pick up your heart.
483
00:16:02,987 --> 00:16:04,682
It's called
"Your Heart Fell on the Floor,
484
00:16:04,706 --> 00:16:06,317
- Let Me Get It for You."
- I know what it's called!
485
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:07,768
But those tickets
belong in a time capsule.
486
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,376
- So do you.
- Finally, a solution.
487
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,286
(sighs) All right, Tina.
488
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,530
If you feel that strongly, here.
489
00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:17,550
Thanks, Louise.
Sorry I had to yell.
490
00:16:17,702 --> 00:16:19,646
(grunts) Would you mind,
uh, saying something
491
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:21,457
to rev me up again?
You know, Hulk me?
492
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,983
- Nope.
- I get it.
493
00:16:23,007 --> 00:16:24,707
(panting): There.
494
00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:26,403
- (exhales)
- Oh, by the way, Tina,
495
00:16:26,427 --> 00:16:27,819
those were fake tickets, too.
496
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,488
I still have the real ones.
Just-in-case-kies.
497
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,323
- Damn it. Give them to me.
- Sure.
498
00:16:32,516 --> 00:16:35,142
Okay. Louise, before I go to
all the work of burying these...
499
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,403
- Are they fake, too? Yeah.
- Son of a bitch.
500
00:16:37,555 --> 00:16:39,684
- How many pairs of fakes
do you have left?
- So many.
501
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:42,478
Um, can I see what the real ones
look like to compare?
502
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,563
(chuckles): No. No, no, no.
Not falling for that.
503
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,315
Oh, well, I gave it
my best shot... (grunts)
504
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,155
- (grunts)
- Let go, Louise.
505
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,416
- No!
- Oh, no, the sod crew.
506
00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:52,771
They're here already. I have
to get these in the ground now.
507
00:16:52,795 --> 00:16:54,657
Too bad, Tina.
What're you gonna do?
508
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,255
Maybe tell them to sod off?
509
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,308
I mean, when are you gonna have
a chance like that again?
510
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,355
My God, they're sodding so fast.
511
00:17:04,548 --> 00:17:06,335
I need to get the tickets buried
before they get up to us.
512
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,251
- They're gonna rip, Tina!
- Give them.
513
00:17:08,352 --> 00:17:11,173
Careful, Louise,
she's puberty Hulking.
514
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,675
(shouts) Ha! They're mine.
515
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,343
Sure, it's a sacrifice now,
but in 50 years,
516
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,036
when the capsule is opened,
I'll be laughing.
517
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:17,847
And maybe Boyz 4 Now
will honor the tickets then.
518
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:21,113
They'll still be around, right?
I mean, not Matt, he'll be 104.
519
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,375
Tina, I'm your sister.
Flesh and blood, here right now.
520
00:17:24,568 --> 00:17:27,045
Are you really gonna choose
people 50 years from now
521
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:30,364
- over your butt and my butt
in those seats?
- Well, I...
522
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:33,776
You can live your life
or you can put it in a box.
523
00:17:33,836 --> 00:17:35,773
Live, Tina. Live.
524
00:17:35,797 --> 00:17:38,222
(sighs) I-I just don't want
my time capsule to suck.
525
00:17:38,415 --> 00:17:40,058
Maybe it's supposed to suck.
526
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:42,413
Maybe the last one sucked
because kids 50 years ago
527
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,637
had better things to do
and were out living their lives.
528
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,565
Yeah, racing for pinks
and making bathtub gin.
529
00:17:47,716 --> 00:17:49,901
(sighs) You're right.
Let's go to the show.
530
00:17:50,094 --> 00:17:51,881
- Yes!
- Yay, we're all going.
531
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,825
Uh, Gene, there are
only two tickets.
532
00:17:53,856 --> 00:17:56,482
That's enough, right?
One, two... darn it!
533
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,176
Hi, bye.
Just dropping off backpacks.
534
00:17:58,227 --> 00:17:59,597
We're on our way
to the Boyz 4 Now concert.
535
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,913
Tina's really excited.
Settle down, Tina!
536
00:18:02,064 --> 00:18:03,397
Oh. Right, sorry.
537
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,491
Oh, that's great.
How'd you get tickets?
538
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,897
Just managed to dig some up
somewhere. (chuckles softly)
539
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,640
- Ha!
- And I'm not going
540
00:18:09,664 --> 00:18:12,476
'cause I'm excited to spend time
with my two favorite parents.
541
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,834
And you guys can fight
over who loves me the most.
542
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,448
- And go.
- Wait.
543
00:18:16,487 --> 00:18:18,240
Shouldn't one of us
be chaperoning? Not it.
544
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,617
Well, you'd need a ticket,
but I guess
545
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:22,158
you could pay
a scalper $300 or so.
546
00:18:22,218 --> 00:18:23,496
Tina, you're in charge. Be safe.
547
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,414
- Have fun.
- LOUISE: Out of the way, Teddy!
548
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,754
- I mean, hi, Teddy!
- Oh, good. You guys are here.
549
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,590
I've got kind of an emergency.
550
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:30,850
What? What, Teddy?
551
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,421
The Handyman's Jamboree
is tonight,
552
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,353
and my friend and colleague
Handyman Sam
553
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,000
wrote a song
that he and I have to perform.
554
00:18:37,024 --> 00:18:38,858
"Handyman's Jamboree"?
555
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,785
Yes, Bob,
a-and it's a huge deal.
556
00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:43,270
Sam said the song's to the tune
of "On Top of Old Smoky,"
557
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,767
whatever the hell that is.
558
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,385
Bob, do you know it?
Could you whistle it?
559
00:18:46,409 --> 00:18:48,275
Okay. (whistling)
560
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:51,111
Now, Linda, these are the words.
Would you mind singing?
561
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,866
I-I don't know
how it should sound.
562
00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:56,467
(rolling Rs):
♪ I'm sorry we quarreled ♪
563
00:18:56,660 --> 00:19:00,029
♪ It rips out my heart ♪
564
00:19:00,089 --> 00:19:02,807
♪ Our love is too rare ♪
565
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,385
♪ For us ever to part... ♪
566
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,441
This is what Boyz 4 Now
wishes they were.
567
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,055
Eight more verses. Keep going.
568
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,965
- Uh, no.
- Yeah, Teddy, we get it.
569
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,370
We see what you're doing.
570
00:19:13,394 --> 00:19:15,060
(sighs) Okay. Got to come clean.
571
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,633
- There's no Handyman's Jamboree.
- We know.
572
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,065
Handyman Sam is real,
but we're not friends.
573
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,953
I-I just don't want you
to split up over this.
574
00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:23,681
- We're fine, Teddy.
- Yeah, we're not really...
575
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,308
I mean, you guys
complete each other.
576
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,126
They're a couple
of Jerry Maguires.
577
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:30,813
- We did sound kind of good together.
- Could this be a thing?
578
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,898
- Should we go to an open mic night?
- TEDDY: Uh...
579
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,882
I don't know about an open mic,
but in the privacy
580
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,966
of your own home, sure.
581
00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:40,197
These aren't
genuine tickets, ladies.
582
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,740
- BOTH: What?!
- I see this a lot.
583
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,764
Welcome to the world.
People are garbage.
584
00:19:43,874 --> 00:19:45,514
- I'm so sad.
- (laughs)
585
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:48,001
- My good man. What's...
- (buzzing)
586
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:50,262
- happening?
- These tickets are fakes, miss.
587
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,196
Uh, you need to calibrate
your equipment.
588
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,836
- They're real.
- Yeah, real fake.
589
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,268
- Goodbye, innocence.
- But those are the real tickets.
590
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,771
I was so careful.
Those are the real tickets!
591
00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:00,718
- I don't think we're getting in, Louise.
- I don't understand!
592
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,253
If I don't have
the real tickets, who does?
593
00:20:03,277 --> 00:20:04,763
HENRY: Can I see
the washing instructions
594
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:07,090
- on that glittery T-shirt?
- Henry Haber?
595
00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:10,491
- Susmita? How are you here?
- Oh, hi, Louise, Tina.
596
00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:13,527
Susmita heard about my Titanic
thing and changed her mind.
597
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:17,048
I never knew Henry could be
that impulsive, and romantic.
598
00:20:17,241 --> 00:20:19,253
So I dug up the tickets
right away and I left fakes
599
00:20:19,277 --> 00:20:21,868
'cause I didn't want to hurt
anyone's time capsule.
600
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,128
It's a victimless crime.
601
00:20:23,281 --> 00:20:24,722
It's not victimless.
602
00:20:24,915 --> 00:20:26,949
You're seeming
really intense right now,
603
00:20:27,009 --> 00:20:28,451
so should we just go in?
604
00:20:28,511 --> 00:20:30,364
Can we go over the Boyz's names
again real quick
605
00:20:30,388 --> 00:20:32,208
- for when we meet them?
- Aah!
606
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:35,068
Well, it's sweet that Henry
and Susmita are back together.
607
00:20:35,092 --> 00:20:36,770
-Mm... -Nope. -I don't know,
608
00:20:36,794 --> 00:20:38,330
maybe it's kind of nice
the way things worked out.
609
00:20:38,354 --> 00:20:40,031
-Wrong. -It's not. -Oh, my God.
610
00:20:40,055 --> 00:20:41,926
Oh, they're playing
"Someday We'll Spoon."
611
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,149
♪ Someday we'll spoon ♪
612
00:20:44,302 --> 00:20:45,796
♪ Not anytime soon. ♪
613
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:47,470
It's about the future.
614
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:49,767
Kind of perfect, huh, 'cause
of the whole time capsule thing?
615
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:50,897
Huh? Oh, right.
616
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,491
♪ I'm gonna hold you ♪
617
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,401
♪ When we're much older ♪
618
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:58,314
♪ Till then I'll gently
touch your shoulder ♪
619
00:20:58,374 --> 00:21:00,236
♪ And if the moment's feeling
right ♪
620
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:03,906
♪ I'll squeeze your hand
to say ♪
621
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,838
♪ Good night ♪
622
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,266
♪ Someday we'll spoon ♪
623
00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:10,083
♪ Not anytime soon ♪
624
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:13,345
- (whistling)
- (rolling Rs)
625
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,347
♪ Someday we'll spoon ♪
626
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:19,092
♪ Not anytime soon ♪
627
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,020
(rolling Rs)
628
00:21:21,172 --> 00:21:22,855
♪ I'm gonna hold you ♪
629
00:21:23,007 --> 00:21:24,593
♪ When we're much older ♪
630
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:28,027
♪ Till then I'll gently
touch your shoulder ♪
631
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:31,271
♪ And if the moment's
feeling right... ♪
632
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,499
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632
00:21:34,305 --> 00:22:34,802
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