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00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:03,961
♪ ♪
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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Hey, check this out!
(undulating)
4
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That's... great. I think.
5
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Do you have a super fun hernia?
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It's a belly roll.
Like belly dancers do.
7
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,346
So put that down
as another career option for me.
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Mom, you're not looking.
(undulating)
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Sorry, honey.
I'm trying to find my phone.
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TINA:
Did you look in the bathroom?
11
00:00:37,854 --> 00:00:39,074
You usually bring it in there.
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It's not there.
I already looked.
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I had to poop without it. I read
the back of the shampoo bottle,
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- like in the old days.
- (phone buzzes)
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Oh. Not to brag, but I just got
a text on my phone.
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That I didn't lose.
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Teddy's coming over.
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00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,695
He's gonna help me
take down the vent hood,
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and then we're gonna go pick up
the new one.
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Ah, I love your life.
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I'll be back soon
so we can open for lunch.
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Okay. We should be back from
the shoe store by then, too.
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(singsongy): And someone
will have her new sneakers.
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- It's me!
- Aw, look at her poor toe
poking out.
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LOUISE:
She's going through shoe-berty.
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TINA: Say hi.
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- Hi!
- Dad?
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Oh. Hi?
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TINA: How are you?
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I, um... I'm fine.
31
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You know what, Mom, I'm gonna
have to pass on the shoe store.
32
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We only shop in the sales racks,
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and they're the saddest place
in the whole world.
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All those mismatched shoes
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staring up at you
from the floor.
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One time, I found a bloody
Band-Aid in one of the shoes.
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Mom bought that pair.
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The Band-Aid wasn't that bloody.
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Dad, can I please go
with you and Teddy?
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Sure. You want to go pick up
a new hood for a grill?
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Oh, you're seriously doing that?
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Ugh, still better
than the sale racks.
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Huh. Should I go
with Mom or with Dad?
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It's a real Kramer vs. Kramer.
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Which I think was
a Seinfeld episode.
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Well, pick someone, 'cause
you're not staying here alone.
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And not because I don't want you
to find Mommy's special crackers
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that I don't really have.
Forget I said anything.
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Alone? Gene can't be anywhere
by himself.
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I beg your pardon?
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You still make Mom hide with you
when we play hide-and-seek.
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And you hate brushing your teeth
by yourself.
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That's why we do it together.
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We're the Supreme Court
Brush-tices!
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And you get dressed
in our room every morning,
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even if we're still asleep.
57
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I change in your room because
sometimes Ken uses my room
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for his sunrise yoga class
that he substitute-teaches.
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I like Yoga Ken. So flexible.
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- Ken's not real.
- If Ken's not real,
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then how did we FaceTime
for two hours last night?
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(sighs) Okay. Uh, I'm going down
to meet Teddy.
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- Wait for me.
- I'll stay here
and do more of this.
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(undulating)
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Where are you, you stupid,
stupid, stupid phone?!
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Maybe try talking
a little nicer to it?
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Just a thought.
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(grunts)
Okay. We're getting there.
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- Keep holding it.
- (strained): Got it.
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(grunts) Thanks again for
helping out with this, Teddy.
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No prob, Bobby.
There's nowhere I'd rather be.
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Not even my cousin's wedding
today.
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Wait, what? Teddy,
you didn't have to do this.
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It's fine. It's just
my mother's brother's son.
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So cocky
'cause he found true love.
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Anyway, today's about you.
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New hood, new life.
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Pretty exciting.
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Well, new to us.
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It's from a guy
on a message board
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who's selling a refurbished one.
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It's way less expensive
than a new hood.
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Oh. So you're buying
another old hood.
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Well, it's not old...
It's refurbished.
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That's a fancy word for "old."
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So, you found this guy
on a message board, huh?
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Y-Yeah. Why are you saying it
like that?
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It's just... don't people
who post ads on the Internet
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turn out to be, you know,
psycho murderers?
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Eh. Some people just want
to sell you a pull-up bar,
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then be your friend and move in
with you for a while.
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I'm pretty sure
this guy's legit.
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He sells a lot
of refurbished appliances.
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- Old appliances.
- Besides,
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wouldn't it be the buyer
who's the psycho,
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not the seller
who gives you their address
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and trusts you
to come to their home?
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Yeah, but what if their home
turns out to be a dungeon?
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Oh, yeah. What if their home
turns out to be a dungeon?
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Okay, guys, if their home is a
dungeon, we won't buy the hood.
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'Cause we'll be getting murdered
in the dungeon.
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Eh. I'm gonna miss you guys
so much.
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But, Teddy, you'd be with us.
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We'd be together.
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No, I'd get away.
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Then I'd miss you so much.
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Well, if you get away,
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you can call the police.
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- Then you can save us.
- Eh.
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The guy'd probably kill you
before the police get there.
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But I could try.
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- Thanks, Teddy.
- GENE: Hey! Teddy!
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You haven't seen my cool
new trick yet, you lucky man.
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(undulating)
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Oh, that's fun, Gene.
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It's like you swallowed
a water bed.
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(scoffs) Why are flecks
of moisture hitting me?
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(strained): Gene, we're...
kind of busy at the moment.
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Oh, boo.
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- Okay. R-Ready, Bob?
- Yeah.
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- (strained): Oh, God.
- You said you were ready!
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I know, I did, I'm just...
(grunts) not strong.
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No, you are not. No offense.
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(grunts) None taken.
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Hmm. Maybe I'll go
with you guys.
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Teddy's got a truck,
and a truck trip could be fun.
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Although Mom likes to sing
while she drives,
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and I do enjoy that.
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A lot of swerving to the music,
honking to the beat.
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Will there be singing
in the truck?
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-(grunting)
-I think it's gonna be
a lot of this.
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BOB:
All right, let's put it
against the wall.
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TEDDY: Lea-Lean it this way.
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- The weight's all in the back.
- LOUISE: Just like Dad.
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Eh, I think I'm gonna go
with Mom and Tina.
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I just remembered
that the shoe store gives out
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free crushed pretzels
on the floor.
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Ugh, where are you, phone?
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- Okay, it's ringing.
- Don't hear it.
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Don't hear it. Don't hear it.
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Tina, honey, maybe you
saying that over and over again
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is gonna make it hard
to hear the phone?
143
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I mean, I'm not questioning
your process, but okay.
144
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Wait till Mom and Tina
hear the good news.
145
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Oh, before we leave,
I should probably get my Casio,
146
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grab my day planner, ooh,
and do one of those auto-reply
147
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"I'm out of the office" e-mails.
148
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Ugh, this isn't working.
149
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I don't know
where my dumb phone is.
150
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Maybe you accidentally put it
in a burger?
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No, I'm always really careful
about that.
152
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Well, I guess we should leave
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00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,781
if we want to get back
before lunch.
154
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,658
I can live without my phone
for a couple hours.
155
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:09,290
I'll have to make real faces
instead of sending emojo-people.
156
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,145
Wait, Gene's going
with Dad, right?
157
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Yeah, I think so.
He went downstairs.
158
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If I find any shoe Band-Aids,
I'm not sharing them with him.
159
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Okay, let's head out so we
can be back in time for lunch.
160
00:05:18,435 --> 00:05:19,963
Wait, is Gene coming with us?
161
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,965
No, he said he wanted to go
with Mom and Tina.
162
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,466
Who's driving? Oh, yeah. Me.
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And Robin goes in the back
on the way home.
164
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- Who's Robin?
- The hood.
165
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Dad, keep up.
166
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God, I'm trying
to make this fun.
167
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I get it, I get it.
168
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,498
Mom? Tina? I'm going with you!
169
00:05:33,691 --> 00:05:35,931
I call the whole back seat
so I can do that thing
170
00:05:35,994 --> 00:05:36,910
where I pretend I'm in an Uber!
171
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,653
Where are you guys?
172
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:40,422
Hmm.
173
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(grunting)
174
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,418
Hello?
175
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Maybe they're doing a prank
I'm not enjoying.
176
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I'll go get the key.
177
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They're gonna get an earful!
178
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,849
Dad?
179
00:05:51,042 --> 00:05:52,570
Louise?
180
00:05:52,594 --> 00:05:53,685
Huh.
181
00:05:53,878 --> 00:05:54,878
Hello?!
182
00:05:55,046 --> 00:05:56,521
Hello?
183
00:05:56,714 --> 00:05:58,264
Hello...!
184
00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:00,341
Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God!
185
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:02,861
Okay, okay. It's fine.
Everything's fine.
186
00:06:03,012 --> 00:06:04,549
I know what to do. Call Mom.
187
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,940
I know her number. It's gonna be
the first tattoo I get.
188
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,536
- (phone buzzing)
- Wait, what?
189
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,852
Why is the couch farting?
190
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,204
Mom's phone?
191
00:06:12,397 --> 00:06:14,373
A nickel?
A peanut M&M? (chewing)
192
00:06:14,566 --> 00:06:16,544
Okay, calling Dad.
What's Dad's number?
193
00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:18,355
I don't know it!
The digits were so random!
194
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,286
Oh! It's written on the fridge!
195
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,359
Aah! I can't read
the last three numbers!
196
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,883
They're smudged over
with some sort of sauce!
197
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,363
Ketchup. Figures.
198
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:29,866
Aah! What do I do?!
What do I do...?!
199
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,723
(mimics phone ringing)
200
00:06:33,009 --> 00:06:35,780
Guess I'd better get that.
201
00:06:35,804 --> 00:06:37,207
Hello? Hi! Ken!
202
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:39,158
I know you called me,
but let me go first
203
00:06:39,182 --> 00:06:40,901
because you're
not gonna believe this.
204
00:06:40,925 --> 00:06:42,275
I'm home alone!
205
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,093
Yeah, no, that's right.
Mom and Tina were upstairs
206
00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:49,482
in the apartment and...
207
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,221
Dad, Louise and Teddy
were in the restaurant.
208
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,486
And then I guess
they didn't bother to make sure
209
00:06:53,639 --> 00:06:55,266
that their most special boy
in the whole wide world
210
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,468
was with either of them
when they left
211
00:06:57,492 --> 00:06:59,062
and drove out
of my life forever!
212
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,897
No, Ken, I will not calm down!
213
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,421
You calm down!
214
00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:05,068
I know you're calm.
You're always calm, Mr. CBD Oil.
215
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,317
Okay, okay.
Breathing, breathing.
216
00:07:07,419 --> 00:07:09,928
Thank you, Ken.
The beatboxing helps.
217
00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:11,732
(sighs) Maybe you're right.
218
00:07:11,756 --> 00:07:13,410
Maybe I should look at this
as a good thing.
219
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:15,934
I mean, I can do anything I want
right now.
220
00:07:16,127 --> 00:07:17,936
The apartment is my oyster!
221
00:07:18,129 --> 00:07:19,587
Oh. Oyster sauce.
222
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:20,963
(Tina whistles)
223
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:23,090
The full-price section.
Hot damn.
224
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:26,019
Don't look, Tina. Don't look.
We're not full-price people.
225
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,854
Okay. So clean here.
226
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,172
Tina, I said don't look.
227
00:07:29,232 --> 00:07:30,690
Keep moving, keep moving.
228
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,025
And here we are.
229
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,160
The sales racks!
230
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,007
CHILD: No, no, no, no, no!
231
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,455
I don't want a shoe!
232
00:07:36,606 --> 00:07:37,864
No...!
233
00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:41,017
Hold my hand, honey.
Stay close to me.
234
00:07:41,077 --> 00:07:43,353
Hi, are you Bob?
235
00:07:43,455 --> 00:07:46,523
Yeah... yes, hi. Uh, this is
Teddy and my daughter Louise.
236
00:07:46,625 --> 00:07:47,707
Are you Adam?
237
00:07:47,859 --> 00:07:49,283
Yep. Adam Appliances.
238
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,230
That's a nickname I'm trying
to start for myself.
239
00:07:51,254 --> 00:07:52,899
- Because I sell appliances.
- Nice.
240
00:07:52,923 --> 00:07:53,950
Uh, well, so here's the hood.
241
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,289
Feel free to check it out.
242
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,903
Don't want you to think
you're getting...
243
00:07:56,927 --> 00:07:58,103
hoodwinked. (laughing)
244
00:07:58,127 --> 00:07:59,886
(laughs)
245
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,204
Oh, Adam Appliances.
246
00:08:01,264 --> 00:08:03,201
Huh. Great. Uh, thanks.
247
00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:04,708
So, lot of merchandise, huh?
248
00:08:04,768 --> 00:08:06,928
There a lot of people coming in
and out of here?
249
00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,131
(chuckles) That's right.
250
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,749
- But are they, Adam?
- Are they what?
251
00:08:09,773 --> 00:08:10,989
Coming in and out?
252
00:08:11,182 --> 00:08:12,324
Louise. Uh, sorry.
253
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:15,046
She's, uh...
gets excited around, um,
254
00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:17,237
refurbished restaurant supplies.
255
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,331
This, uh, looks good.
All the right, uh,
256
00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:21,352
hood... parts.
We'll-we'll take it.
257
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,818
Oh, great, great.
Well, water it once a week
258
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,056
and give it lots of sunlight.
259
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,483
- (chuckles)
- (laughs)
260
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,434
- This guy. (sighs)
- Yeah, that's funny.
261
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:30,895
Uh, so you posted
that you're selling it for $350?
262
00:08:30,919 --> 00:08:32,759
- Yep.
- All right. Here you go.
263
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,755
Uh, it's a-a lot of singles
and, um...
264
00:08:35,907 --> 00:08:38,258
uh, hold on...
Some, um, loose change.
265
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:41,002
Um, you-you can count it all out
if you like.
266
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:43,596
Okay. Guess we'll start
with the pennies.
267
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,081
One, two.
268
00:08:45,141 --> 00:08:46,141
This is a button.
269
00:08:46,217 --> 00:08:47,433
Oh. Sorry.
270
00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:49,214
GENE: Mom's special crackers!
271
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:51,178
Mom's special crackers! Yep,
272
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,992
they were in her closet
in a shoebox labeled
273
00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:54,424
"Do not open. Spiders."
274
00:08:54,526 --> 00:08:56,587
Now I want to know where
she keeps her spiders.
275
00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:59,112
Yeah, I'm sitting in their bed,
eating the crackers,
276
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,850
'cause no one's here
telling me not to.
277
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,099
Okay, what should we do next?
278
00:09:03,159 --> 00:09:05,522
-(dance music playing)
-Take that, Louise's "No Getting
Out All My Collectibles
279
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,954
and Having a Rave in My Room"
rule!
280
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,090
Yeah!
281
00:09:09,198 --> 00:09:10,440
"I had that dream again
282
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,103
"where everyone's butts
had eyebrows,
283
00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:13,363
and they called them
'thighbrows.'"
284
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,053
And there's a drawing here.
285
00:09:15,246 --> 00:09:16,758
Want me to fax it
to your secretary?
286
00:09:16,782 --> 00:09:18,392
(singsongy):
Holding all the spoons!
287
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,036
Holding all the spoons!
288
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,560
Holding all the spoons!
289
00:09:21,753 --> 00:09:24,896
Ooh, Tina! I found one shoe
that's in your size.
290
00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:27,624
- You want to try it on?
- Okay. Let's give this a shot.
291
00:09:27,726 --> 00:09:29,901
Feels good.
Maybe I don't need two shoes.
292
00:09:30,053 --> 00:09:31,664
(chuckles):
Who am I, Kate Middleton?
293
00:09:31,688 --> 00:09:34,130
Excuse me! Do you have
the other one of these sneakers?
294
00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:36,094
Everything we have is out here.
Sorry.
295
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,151
But there was only one shoe
in this box.
296
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,405
(sighs): Yeah.
Shoes go missing all the time.
297
00:09:40,438 --> 00:09:43,248
People shove them in the wrong
box or just... throw them.
298
00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:45,061
I don't know why they do
these things.
299
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,013
I just try
to get through each day.
300
00:09:47,037 --> 00:09:48,369
Ooh, look at those shooties.
301
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,899
- What are shooties?
- You know,
302
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,083
they're like if a shoe
and a boot had a baby.
303
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,311
They're so cute.
304
00:09:53,335 --> 00:09:55,093
And it's so peaceful over there.
305
00:09:55,286 --> 00:09:56,981
And so... not sad.
306
00:09:57,005 --> 00:09:59,117
- And nobody's smoking.
- I'm gonna go try 'em on.
307
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,507
Just for fun.
Nothing wrong with that, right?
308
00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,918
You want to go
to the full-priced section?
309
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:05,230
You want to go to the big show?
310
00:10:05,254 --> 00:10:06,771
Not to buy, just to try.
311
00:10:06,964 --> 00:10:07,997
You want to come?
312
00:10:08,058 --> 00:10:09,338
I sure as shootie want to come.
313
00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:11,184
Okay, Bob, you're all set.
314
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,445
Unless you want to buy
a refurbished vacuum.
315
00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:16,301
-Oh, no, thanks.
-No, wait, wait, wait.
L-Let me show you.
316
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:17,951
- (loud whirring)
- So, it's kind of loud!
317
00:10:17,975 --> 00:10:19,100
Uh, but that's fine!
318
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:21,694
You can scream
and no one can hear it!
319
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:22,937
(screams)
320
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:23,933
- (whirring stops)
- See?
321
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,435
Oh, yeah. I see.
322
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:28,034
Oh, Adam, uh, can I get
a receipt? For my taxes.
323
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,327
You know about taxes, Dad?
324
00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:31,278
- Um, kind of.
- Okay, sure.
325
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:34,518
I'll get you a receipt.
I don't have any paper out here.
326
00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:36,170
Let me go inside
and write you up one.
327
00:10:36,194 --> 00:10:37,763
- I'll be right back.
- Thanks.
328
00:10:37,787 --> 00:10:39,949
Feel free to look around.
That's a tortilla press.
329
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,715
Or if you stick your hand in it,
it's a hand press.
330
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:43,809
Hand-wich, anyone?
331
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:46,144
(laughs) Good one!
332
00:10:46,295 --> 00:10:47,553
Do we want to discuss the fact
333
00:10:47,706 --> 00:10:49,334
that he's talking
about eating hands,
334
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:52,295
and he basically gave us
a blueprint of his murder plan?
335
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,652
What do you mean?
336
00:10:53,845 --> 00:10:56,655
The vacuum?
To cover up our screams? Hello?
337
00:10:56,848 --> 00:10:59,824
I think he was just trying
to sell us a really loud vacuum.
338
00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:01,326
I scream when I vacuum.
339
00:11:01,519 --> 00:11:03,139
But that's just 'cause
I don't like doing it.
340
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,221
(humming)
341
00:11:05,281 --> 00:11:08,333
Yes, Ken, I do kind of feel like
the bartenders in Coyote Ugly.
342
00:11:08,526 --> 00:11:10,313
Hey, should I go in the kitchen?
343
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,170
Yeah, I think I should, too.
344
00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:13,413
Hmm.
345
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,376
Hamburger buns.
I'm gonna eat 'em.
346
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,894
Oh, that's a much better idea.
347
00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:18,971
I should definitely put them
through the meat grinder
348
00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:20,679
and make bun-burgers.
349
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,775
The burger is the bun, and the
bun is the bun. It's perfect!
350
00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:24,494
This is the kind of thing
Dad would never let me do,
351
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,829
but once he tried it,
he'd be like,
352
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,687
"I love my brilliant bun son!"
353
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,246
(metallic thud)
354
00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:33,674
Huh. That was a weird sound.
355
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,505
Aah! What the hell?!
356
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,862
(groans) I can't open the door!
357
00:11:38,055 --> 00:11:39,842
Help! Ken, call the Coast Guard!
358
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,257
Call the CSI basement people!
359
00:11:41,359 --> 00:11:43,142
Call Richard Belzer and Ice-T!
360
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,328
Call Mariska Hargitay!
361
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,937
(groans) The door's wedged shut!
362
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,194
Yes, Ken,
I am pushing with my core.
363
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,933
Sorry, not all of us have time
to do Kundalini yoga
364
00:11:55,957 --> 00:11:57,123
for two hours every day!
365
00:11:57,275 --> 00:11:58,903
Aah! Looks like
I'm stuck down here
366
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,530
until Mom and Dad get back.
367
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:02,198
At least I've got these buns
for nourishment.
368
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,630
And all the basement food,
aka bottom snacks.
369
00:12:04,783 --> 00:12:06,560
Dad always tells me not
to call them that.
370
00:12:06,584 --> 00:12:09,710
Taking a while for him
to write that receipt, huh?
371
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,699
Maybe he's doing
a pre-murder pep talk?
372
00:12:11,723 --> 00:12:13,639
- Psyching himself up?
- Louise.
373
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,141
Ugh, we got to leave soon
374
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,771
if we're gonna make it back
before lunch.
375
00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:20,813
Adam? Mister, um...
Mr. Appliances?
376
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,073
Should we just go?
377
00:12:22,266 --> 00:12:24,220
Uh, I kind of need that receipt.
378
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,038
This hood is
a pretty big business expense,
379
00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:28,654
and I was gonna deduct it, which
I'm pretty sure is a thing.
380
00:12:28,807 --> 00:12:31,157
I bet he's in there right now
sharpening his gun.
381
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,493
He's not a murderer, Louise.
382
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,086
Hello? Adam?
383
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,567
Okay, I guess I'm gonna go in?
384
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,165
- You are?
- Yeah.
385
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,462
- You stay out here.
- Oh, we stay out here? Really?
386
00:12:41,486 --> 00:12:43,355
- Why is that, Father?
- Just because.
387
00:12:43,379 --> 00:12:45,316
Because he might be a murderer.
388
00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:47,359
- No. Well, maybe.
- I'll go with you, Bob.
389
00:12:47,383 --> 00:12:49,659
Or, Teddy,
you could go by yourself?
390
00:12:49,719 --> 00:12:50,751
No way, no.
391
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,331
Okay, let's just
all go in, then.
392
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,680
Louise, stay behind me.
393
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:55,999
Adam? Hello?
394
00:12:56,059 --> 00:12:57,609
Look at all that bleach.
395
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,446
That stuff is great for
getting out bloodstains, right?
396
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:00,945
Blood, sweat and tears.
397
00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:02,467
End of most days,
I got all three.
398
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:05,002
Wow. I love how
it's two shoes that match.
399
00:13:05,026 --> 00:13:06,453
- I know, right?
- (whimpers)
400
00:13:06,477 --> 00:13:08,306
I feel like
a New York businesswoman.
401
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,382
Hey, Mr. Big Boss,
I don't need this job.
402
00:13:10,406 --> 00:13:12,101
I'm gonna quit
and move to Vermont
403
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,828
and make baby applesauce.
404
00:13:13,852 --> 00:13:15,184
Hi, red carpet reporter.
405
00:13:15,286 --> 00:13:17,056
What am I wearing?
Two matching shoes.
406
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,833
Oh. You're over here now.
407
00:13:18,857 --> 00:13:21,357
Just so you know, moving shoes
from here to the sales rack
408
00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:23,196
doesn't magically
make them on sale.
409
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,323
You'd be surprised
how many people think that.
410
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:28,197
No, no, no. We're not
doing that. We're just looking.
411
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:30,298
Well, if you need any help,
I'll be trying
412
00:13:30,368 --> 00:13:32,029
to take care
of everything in the store
413
00:13:32,053 --> 00:13:33,864
- because
they didn't hire enough people.
- Okay, bye.
414
00:13:33,888 --> 00:13:35,458
Come on. Let's try on
these cowboy boots.
415
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,335
We can be cowgirl-businesswomen.
416
00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,651
We're gonna be yee-hot...
and good at our jobs.
417
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,803
And that's why I think
ostriches should wear britches
418
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,133
and be called "ost-britches."
419
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,490
Ken, are you listening?
420
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,512
Well, it just seems
like you're distracted.
421
00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:49,806
No, no, no, no, don't get off
yet. I want to keep talking.
422
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:53,222
If you need to read your e-mail,
read your e-mail. I can wait.
423
00:13:53,283 --> 00:13:54,574
Oh. You're reading it out loud.
424
00:13:54,726 --> 00:13:57,151
Wow. So many e-mails
from The Edge.
425
00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:59,170
How long have you known U2?
426
00:13:59,322 --> 00:14:01,655
You grew up
with Larry Mullen Jr.?!
427
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,394
Hello?
428
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:06,989
Hello? Um,
we're in your kitchen now.
429
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,422
Sorry to be... so in your house.
430
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:12,833
But, uh, we're curious
how it's going with the receipt.
431
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,761
I wonder which of our faces
he's going to wear as a mask.
432
00:14:15,914 --> 00:14:18,097
I don't know.
Could be a Goldilocks situation.
433
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,025
- One's too big,
one's too little.
- Mm.
434
00:14:21,177 --> 00:14:23,005
Gosh, you'd think
435
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,198
Adam Appliances would have some
better ones in his own kitchen.
436
00:14:25,222 --> 00:14:28,366
A two-slice toaster?
What is this, 1985?
437
00:14:28,559 --> 00:14:31,422
Normally I'd hate
being left alone like this.
438
00:14:31,446 --> 00:14:33,465
You know, 'cause being
by myself isn't my thing.
439
00:14:33,489 --> 00:14:35,781
But at least I have you
to talk to, Ken.
440
00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:37,134
What do mean you have to go?
441
00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:39,063
Your short film is
winning an award
442
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:40,361
at the Montreal Film Festival?
443
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,066
Well, of course
I'm happy for you.
444
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,584
I know
it's your passion project,
445
00:14:43,608 --> 00:14:45,069
and it took you forever
to clear the rights,
446
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,529
and Jessica Chastain
is a revelation,
447
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,720
but I need you
to stay on the phone with me!
448
00:14:48,913 --> 00:14:50,722
Don't tell me I'll be fine!
449
00:14:50,915 --> 00:14:52,056
No! No! Don't hang up!
450
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,685
Ken? Ken?! Hello? Ken!
451
00:14:59,757 --> 00:15:01,997
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Aah, voice mail again!
452
00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:03,629
Ken, I'm gonna keep
leaving you messages
453
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,312
because you hung up
and left me alone! Ugh!
454
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:08,092
I hope
that you go to a bagel store
455
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:10,575
where they sell
Montreal-style bagels,
456
00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:12,263
and they run out of them
right as you walk in.
457
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:14,412
Sorry, I didn't mean that.
Goodbye. (grunts)
458
00:15:14,563 --> 00:15:17,968
Oh, no! Now how is Ken supposed
to call me back?!
459
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,234
On a fork? That's ridiculous!
460
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,995
Okay, Adam,
we're in your living room now.
461
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,591
Just really need
that receipt, buddy.
462
00:15:24,615 --> 00:15:26,402
Wait. Are you holding
a butter knife?
463
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,395
- You butter believe it.
- Is it from Adam's kitchen?
464
00:15:28,419 --> 00:15:30,406
No, I walk around with
butter knives. Yes, of course.
465
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,505
Teddy, are you holding
a cheese grater?
466
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,799
Yeah. Did you not grab anything
from the kitchen?
467
00:15:34,917 --> 00:15:37,117
(sighs) Okay, you know what?
This is too weird.
468
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,998
Forget the receipt.
Probably better to live
469
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,421
than to have a deduction.
470
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,126
I think I read that
on a fortune cookie.
471
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,666
Come on, let's go.
472
00:15:43,726 --> 00:15:45,168
(all screaming)
473
00:15:45,228 --> 00:15:46,923
Oh, my God!
Please don't kill us!
474
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,667
- What?!
- I'll grate you!
475
00:15:48,764 --> 00:15:50,927
Is that my cheese grater?
Wait. Is that my butter knife?
476
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:54,118
Yes, and it's very serrated. Are
you sure it's a butter knife?
477
00:15:54,311 --> 00:15:55,990
Yeah, I should know that.
It is mine.
478
00:15:56,014 --> 00:15:58,254
- Why are you in my house?
- We were looking for you.
479
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,700
You were taking so long
with the receipt, and we were...
480
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,018
we weren't sure what to do.
481
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,369
I had to go to the bathroom.
482
00:16:03,521 --> 00:16:04,774
We were shouting your name.
483
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,558
The fan was on
if you need to know everything.
484
00:16:06,582 --> 00:16:08,945
Ugh. This is exactly
what my wife said would happen
485
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,451
if I started this business.
486
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,281
You give strangers
from the Internet your address,
487
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,638
and they'll come in your house
488
00:16:13,831 --> 00:16:15,767
and kill you
with your own cheese grater.
489
00:16:15,791 --> 00:16:17,286
- No, I wasn't gonna kill you.
- No, Adam, no, no.
490
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,788
- We're, we're not...
- I mean, it'd be hard with this.
491
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,623
I knew there was something off
about you guys.
492
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,129
You with all that change.
493
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,293
Who would do something
like that to someone?
494
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,652
I'm sorry. I-I mean, to be fair,
change is money.
495
00:16:27,803 --> 00:16:29,988
I know it's annoying money,
but it still counts.
496
00:16:30,181 --> 00:16:31,875
Dad, don't.
497
00:16:31,899 --> 00:16:33,140
Here is your receipt, sir.
498
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,142
Uh, thanks. We're gonna go now.
499
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:36,714
Yeah, I think
that's best you do.
500
00:16:36,738 --> 00:16:38,123
- Here.
- (shrieks)
501
00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:39,717
- Just put it on the table.
- Yup, yup, okay.
502
00:16:39,741 --> 00:16:43,980
Arr! Pirate and Go-Go Dancer
fight for the galaxy!
503
00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,524
- Arr!
- Groovy!
504
00:16:45,696 --> 00:16:48,339
So, are you guys sure
you don't need any help?
505
00:16:48,491 --> 00:16:51,067
Nope, nope. Uh, ju-just
making some decisions.
506
00:16:51,127 --> 00:16:52,418
Lot of boxes on the floor.
507
00:16:52,570 --> 00:16:53,845
We're gonna put them all back.
508
00:16:53,996 --> 00:16:55,276
Except for the ones that we buy.
509
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,067
Uh-huh. And how many pairs
do you think
510
00:16:57,091 --> 00:16:58,424
you'll be purchasing today?
511
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,904
I mean, uh,
maybe those sneakers over there?
512
00:17:00,928 --> 00:17:02,353
You know, when they go on sale.
513
00:17:02,546 --> 00:17:04,483
Are there some of these
I can start putting away?
514
00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:07,859
Uh, yeah, I guess the boots
and the... the moon shoes.
515
00:17:08,052 --> 00:17:09,212
And the gladiator sandals.
516
00:17:09,386 --> 00:17:11,178
Oh, and-and the moccasins, too.
517
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,675
Those looked really good on you.
518
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:13,939
They did, right?
519
00:17:14,092 --> 00:17:15,586
- Here, I-I'll put those away.
- Oh.
520
00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:18,427
Look, we're sorry. It's just,
we just wanted to know
521
00:17:18,488 --> 00:17:20,728
what it felt like to shop
in the nice shoe section.
522
00:17:20,765 --> 00:17:23,266
Where they have all the sizes
and the shoes come in pairs.
523
00:17:23,326 --> 00:17:25,429
And the lights aren't blinking
off and on over here.
524
00:17:25,453 --> 00:17:27,380
And there isn't anything
dripping from the ceiling.
525
00:17:27,404 --> 00:17:29,455
I get it.
The sales racks are rough.
526
00:17:29,607 --> 00:17:31,360
I found a toe
over there yesterday.
527
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,551
- Oh, God.
- Ah, I think it was a toe.
528
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:36,387
The police have it.
Anyway, I-I'll tell you what.
529
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:38,534
I can give you 20% off
those sneakers.
530
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,036
- How about that?
- Really?!
531
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,620
- Yeah.
- Thank you!
532
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,322
- Sure.
- Or maybe I don't do
the sneakers?
533
00:17:43,346 --> 00:17:45,432
I do the big boots, and
I'm Big Booty Tina from now on?
534
00:17:45,456 --> 00:17:47,567
- No, no, no, no, no, no,
do the sneakers.
- Okay.
535
00:17:47,591 --> 00:17:51,143
Aah, I hate this!
No family, no Ken.
536
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,979
Stuck here in the basement
with just myself.
537
00:17:54,132 --> 00:17:55,481
Why did Ken do this?!
538
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,386
Why did my totally real friend
hang up on me?
539
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,412
Doesn't he know
this is my worst nightmare?
540
00:17:59,436 --> 00:18:01,304
No one to talk to but myself?
541
00:18:01,364 --> 00:18:03,397
Wait.
Did Ken do this on purpose?
542
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,637
Is this a test?
He does like to test me.
543
00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,421
Like that time
he tested my self-control
544
00:18:08,445 --> 00:18:10,066
by asking me
to hold his ice cream cone
545
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,497
while he went to go poo poo.
546
00:18:11,649 --> 00:18:14,667
Maybe this is...
a being-with-myself test.
547
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,319
Okay, then, I'll try it.
548
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:19,155
I'll try being alone
with my thoughts?
549
00:18:19,257 --> 00:18:21,674
♪ Green peppers give me gas ♪
550
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:24,418
♪ Unless they're in a scone ♪
551
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,105
♪ These are thoughts
I'm thinking ♪
552
00:18:27,298 --> 00:18:29,423
♪ When I'm all alone ♪
553
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:32,259
♪ Is taupe a real color? ♪
554
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,612
♪ I wanna free solo
up that shelf ♪
555
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:39,336
♪ These are things I'm thinking
when I'm by myself ♪
556
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:42,011
♪ My knees have weird wrinkles ♪
557
00:18:42,071 --> 00:18:44,122
♪ My butt makes weird sounds ♪
558
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:47,010
♪ Maybe I can still have fun
with no one else around ♪
559
00:18:47,034 --> 00:18:51,941
♪ I'm gonna keep thinkin'
'cause it's keepin' me calm ♪
560
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:55,207
♪ Robots and music
and banh mi from Vietnam ♪
561
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:59,712
♪ I enjoy being with people,
maybe too much ♪
562
00:18:59,864 --> 00:19:02,956
♪ And Ken is a delight
but maybe kind of a crutch ♪
563
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:07,478
♪ I didn't think I'd feel
this way till I was grown ♪
564
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:10,890
♪ But it turns out
I'm fine being here ♪
565
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:14,393
♪ On my own! ♪
566
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,374
Ken,
you brilliant son of a bitch!
567
00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:19,042
We're back!
568
00:19:19,066 --> 00:19:20,845
You might not recognize me
'cause of my new sneakers,
569
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,568
but, um, it's me. Tina.
570
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:26,055
Tina?! Oh, God, okay.
I'm glad you cleared that up.
571
00:19:26,157 --> 00:19:27,885
Look at that shiny new hood.
572
00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:29,761
It's refurbished.
Fancy word for old.
573
00:19:29,785 --> 00:19:33,153
Well, sorry we took so long.
We had a little shoe-cation.
574
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,747
It's okay. We took a while, too.
575
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,921
We kind of mistook
a totally harmless person
576
00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:40,252
for being a murderer and then
we trespassed in his house.
577
00:19:40,405 --> 00:19:42,065
Sounds fun. Hey, where's Gene?
578
00:19:42,089 --> 00:19:44,160
- I thought he was with you.
- I thought he was with you!
579
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,017
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
580
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,427
ALL: Gene?! Gene?!
581
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:49,595
My toys!
582
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,666
My diary!
583
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,409
My crackers!
584
00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,211
♪ Bun-burger, bun-burger,
bun-burger ♪
585
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,035
- ♪ Bun-burger. ♪ - He's here!
586
00:19:56,145 --> 00:19:57,844
- Gene!
- Mom! Dad!
587
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,438
Oh, we're so sorry, Gene.
588
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,460
We didn't mean
to leave you by yourself.
589
00:20:01,484 --> 00:20:03,012
I thought
you were with your dad.
590
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,755
And I thought
you were with your mom.
591
00:20:04,779 --> 00:20:06,849
Are you all right? We know
you don't love being alone.
592
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,188
Or being trapped in a basement.
593
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,935
We were almost trapped
in a basement.
594
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,267
Yeah, we almost died.
595
00:20:11,327 --> 00:20:13,189
No, we weren't,
and no, we didn't.
596
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,264
You know, it actually
wasn't that bad.
597
00:20:14,288 --> 00:20:15,955
I had Ken for a lot of it.
598
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,449
But then he had to go accept
this award, and I was alone,
599
00:20:18,575 --> 00:20:20,495
but that turned out
to be okay, too.
600
00:20:20,536 --> 00:20:23,203
Really? That's, uh...
that's good.
601
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,108
Uh, what's going on
with the meat grinder?
602
00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:26,427
Big changes
at the restaurant, Dad.
603
00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:27,950
I don't want to give it away,
604
00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:30,155
but let's just say
it rhymes with "dun durgers."
605
00:20:30,179 --> 00:20:32,455
Oh, my Geenie Weenie,
Mommy's so sorry!
606
00:20:32,556 --> 00:20:34,710
Mwah-mwah-mwah! Mwah!
Mwah-mwah-mwah!
607
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,308
It's okay, Mom.
608
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,105
Huh. You're kind of
letting them off pretty easy.
609
00:20:38,129 --> 00:20:40,240
I would maybe look
for a lawyer if I were you?
610
00:20:40,264 --> 00:20:42,465
No lawyers.
Come on. Let's go upstairs.
611
00:20:42,525 --> 00:20:44,503
So, you found
my special crackers, huh?
612
00:20:44,527 --> 00:20:46,652
- Yup. Ken and I did.
- How is Ken?
613
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,249
GENE:
Busy as always.
And he's microdosing.
614
00:20:49,273 --> 00:20:50,823
That's... You know what?
615
00:20:50,975 --> 00:20:54,252
Just tell him thanks
for keeping you company.
616
00:20:54,403 --> 00:20:55,920
♪ My knees have weird wrinkles ♪
617
00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:57,997
♪ My butt makes weird sounds ♪
618
00:20:58,149 --> 00:21:01,500
♪ Maybe I can still have fun
with no one else around ♪
619
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:05,579
♪ I'm gonna keep thinkin'
'cause it's keepin' me calm ♪
620
00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:09,492
♪ Robots and music
and banh mi from Vietnam ♪
621
00:21:09,552 --> 00:21:13,512
♪ I enjoy being with people,
maybe too much ♪
622
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:17,591
♪ And Ken is a delight
but maybe kind of a crutch ♪
623
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:21,020
♪ I didn't think I'd feel
this way till I was grown ♪
624
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:24,115
♪ But it turns out
I'm fine being here ♪
625
00:21:24,308 --> 00:21:27,170
♪ On my own. ♪
626
00:21:27,194 --> 00:21:29,194
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626
00:21:30,305 --> 00:22:30,438
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