1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:04,378 ♪ 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Who are the real-world Illuminati ? Find out @ saveanilluminati.com 3 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,498 (grunting) 4 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,949 - And that's when I switched to boxer briefs. - Mm-hmm. 5 00:00:22,973 --> 00:00:25,133 And I never looked back. Best of both worlds. 6 00:00:25,251 --> 00:00:26,917 Okay, I'm heading out. 7 00:00:26,977 --> 00:00:28,380 Hey, Linda, you're just in time to hear 8 00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:29,936 why I changed my underpants. 9 00:00:30,089 --> 00:00:31,624 I-I mean the kind of underpants I wear. 10 00:00:31,648 --> 00:00:33,659 I'm gonna have to take a rain check, Teddy. 11 00:00:33,683 --> 00:00:34,794 I'm going on a power walk. 12 00:00:34,818 --> 00:00:36,777 Ooh, power walk. Sounds fun. 13 00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,598 What is that? Do you stomp really hard? 14 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,098 Yeah, it's a part of this thing I'm doing with Ginger. 15 00:00:41,158 --> 00:00:43,024 Gettin' Fitty in your Forties. 16 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,138 It's all about exercising and eating better 17 00:00:45,162 --> 00:00:47,065 - and being in your forties. - Can I do it, too? 18 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,234 - I could probably be healthier. - No. 19 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,866 Sure you can. Get ready for salads 20 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,053 and veggies and smoothies. 21 00:00:54,204 --> 00:00:56,241 Smoothies with cayenne pepper and flax seed. 22 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,964 Wow. What's flax seed? 23 00:00:58,117 --> 00:00:59,397 I don't know, but I feel great. 24 00:00:59,584 --> 00:01:01,395 Maybe it comes from a flax machine. 25 00:01:01,419 --> 00:01:04,232 - Ha! I'm getting fittier and funnier. - Yeah, you are. 26 00:01:04,256 --> 00:01:06,192 Anyway, Ginger already took her walk, 27 00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:08,086 so now I got to take mine or I'll get a frowny face 28 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,142 on my profile. 29 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,622 And Ginger and I have this bet. 30 00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:12,132 Whoever gets the most frowny faces 31 00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,533 has to wear their bra over their shirt 32 00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:14,551 for a whole day. 33 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,408 That might be bad for business. 34 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,059 Or possibly good. 35 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,265 Yeah, it depends on the bra. Ooh, I better get going. 36 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,581 We got the kids' parent-teacher- student conferences 37 00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:23,824 in an hour and a half. 38 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,586 Yeah, where they make us all sit together 39 00:01:25,610 --> 00:01:27,547 and discuss the kids right in front of them. 40 00:01:27,571 --> 00:01:29,996 I try to not make eye contact with... our children. 41 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,735 Well, they don't usually grade the parents, 42 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,928 but I bet the teachers will probably give me an "A" 43 00:01:33,952 --> 00:01:37,003 for A-mazing lifestyle changes and great parenting. 44 00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:39,910 - Speaking of, where are the kids? They're late. - You're right. 45 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,596 Maybe it's for a good reason? 46 00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:44,177 I mean, it never is. 47 00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:46,274 Maybe there's a cool new dance all the kids are doing, 48 00:01:46,298 --> 00:01:48,143 and they're having a dance-off in the alley? 49 00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:49,349 Why is it in an alley? 50 00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,404 That's where people step to you, Bob. 51 00:01:51,428 --> 00:01:53,072 Maybe they got on the wrong bus from school 52 00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:54,707 and ended up in a different town. 53 00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:56,259 - That happened to me a lot. - (entry bell jingles) 54 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,928 LINDA: There you are. Where were you? 55 00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:00,344 Where were you?! No? Does that not work? 56 00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,244 - We all got detention. - What?! 57 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,417 -Yeah. -Uh-huh. -How? 58 00:02:04,441 --> 00:02:06,294 I swapped out Ms. Labonz's morning announcements 59 00:02:06,318 --> 00:02:08,163 with the lyrics for "Baby Got Back," 60 00:02:08,187 --> 00:02:09,606 which she only read the first line of, 61 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:10,963 but it was hilarious. 62 00:02:11,156 --> 00:02:12,633 I put a hot dog in the pencil sharpener 63 00:02:12,657 --> 00:02:14,611 to make Hot Dog Swirl Snacks... Patent pending. 64 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,043 And Tammy said horses are just boring zebras. 65 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:18,898 And one of us got her hair pulled, 66 00:02:18,922 --> 00:02:20,202 and the other one got detention. 67 00:02:20,332 --> 00:02:21,715 So, what's new around here? 68 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,142 I can't believe you guys. 69 00:02:23,335 --> 00:02:24,810 What? Oh, the detentions. 70 00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:26,461 Yeah, kids, that's not good. 71 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,872 But, Gene, the hot dog thing? I kind of get it. 72 00:02:28,932 --> 00:02:30,335 I've had the same thought before. 73 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,462 - (angry groan) - But y-you shouldn't do it. 74 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,655 And you do this on parent- teacher-student conference day 75 00:02:34,679 --> 00:02:36,062 of all days?! 76 00:02:36,215 --> 00:02:37,825 I guess it's not a great look. Sorry, Mom. 77 00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:40,159 But, hey, if it helps, you don't even have to worry 78 00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:43,328 about punishing us because detention was... woof. 79 00:02:43,521 --> 00:02:46,223 It was rough. They didn't let us get water, 80 00:02:46,283 --> 00:02:48,058 more than several times. 81 00:02:48,118 --> 00:02:49,888 And there were no pastries at all. 82 00:02:49,912 --> 00:02:51,486 Not even a bear claw. 83 00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:53,789 I did kind of enjoy being alone with my thoughts. 84 00:02:53,823 --> 00:02:55,435 - (Louise clears throat) -But, yeah, it was hard. Real, real hard. 85 00:02:55,459 --> 00:02:57,604 Oh, you're all getting punished, Miss Missies 86 00:02:57,628 --> 00:02:58,735 and Mister Misters. 87 00:02:58,795 --> 00:03:00,587 But we're sorry, Mama. 88 00:03:00,739 --> 00:03:03,368 - No! It's not gonna work this time, Gene. - (gasps) 89 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:06,426 It's called rules, okay? Rules exist for a reason. 90 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,688 It's how society is a thing. You got to follow the rules. 91 00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:12,082 Right? Bob, right? This is where you come in. 92 00:03:12,142 --> 00:03:13,525 Um, yeah, that's right. 93 00:03:13,677 --> 00:03:15,288 Sorry, you just seemed like you were on a roll. 94 00:03:15,312 --> 00:03:17,340 I mean, we should all be trying to be better people 95 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,583 around here, you know. 96 00:03:18,607 --> 00:03:20,567 I'm doing my part. I'm eating flax. 97 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:23,388 - Maybe you should just relax and have some more flax. - No! 98 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,372 No, Gene. Leave my flax out of this. 99 00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:27,467 Now I'm going on my power walk, and I'm gonna think of 100 00:03:27,491 --> 00:03:30,094 a punishment that fits how annoyed I am. 101 00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:31,897 Spoiler alert, it's gonna be a big one. 102 00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:35,029 In the meantime, get to work here and do your homework. 103 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,976 - (entry bell jingles) -Wait, which one do you want us to do? 104 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,884 Both. Multitask! 105 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:41,553 Wow, I would not want to be you guys right now. 106 00:03:41,705 --> 00:03:43,149 - Nope. - Thank you both. 107 00:03:43,173 --> 00:03:44,464 Mom seemed extra angry. 108 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,261 Her teeth were grittier than ever. 109 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:47,559 Gritty and gorgeous. 110 00:03:47,752 --> 00:03:49,414 Okay, so here's what I think we should do. 111 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,374 Work extra hard, and when she comes back, 112 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,234 this place will look so great, she'll say, 113 00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:54,953 "No punishment necessary." 114 00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:57,217 Yeah. And she'll pick us up and throw us in the air 115 00:03:57,262 --> 00:04:00,054 and say, "My beautiful bouncing babies." 116 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,551 I mean, I always work extra hard. 117 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,220 I leave it on the field every day. 118 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,485 But, okay, let's try it with all three of us. 119 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:08,080 So, Bob, back to my underpants story. 120 00:04:08,273 --> 00:04:10,490 Oh, do we need to go back? I think I got it all. 121 00:04:10,642 --> 00:04:12,787 Here's the thing. I signed up for an improv class, 122 00:04:12,811 --> 00:04:14,105 and I'm really nervous about it. 123 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,732 So we're not talking about underpants? 124 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:16,997 No, we are. 125 00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,568 Our first performance is tonight. 126 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,237 I'm starting to freak out, so I was wondering 127 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,761 if you'd come to the show and yell out a suggestion. 128 00:04:22,912 --> 00:04:24,170 In this case, underpants, 129 00:04:24,323 --> 00:04:26,076 so I can roll into my underpants story. 130 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,860 I don't think the point of improv is to have 131 00:04:27,884 --> 00:04:29,342 a story ready to tell, Teddy. 132 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,678 Oh, I'm sorry, Professor Think-em-ups. 133 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,179 Listen, please just come. 134 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:34,734 Please come and yell out "underpants." 135 00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,850 - No. - Yes, and? 136 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,163 (scoffs) I can't believe those kids. 137 00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:40,665 Darn rule-breaking hooligans. 138 00:04:40,689 --> 00:04:42,781 On parent-teacher-student conference night. 139 00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:44,283 Out of my way, squirrel! 140 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,287 - Oh, I'm so mad. - (stomach rumbles) 141 00:04:46,311 --> 00:04:49,012 Uh-oh, cayenne smoothie is moving around in there. Ow. 142 00:04:49,072 --> 00:04:52,124 - Oh, oh, oh, boy. I better go back home. - (rumbling louder) 143 00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:53,959 Oh, no. Oh, no, I'm gonna poop! 144 00:04:54,152 --> 00:04:55,513 Oh, no. Oh, no, it's gonna happen. 145 00:04:55,537 --> 00:04:56,853 Oh, thank God. 146 00:04:56,955 --> 00:04:58,608 Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. 147 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,126 Hold it, hold it. 148 00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:02,042 - Damn it! Oh, what? - (rumbling) 149 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:03,613 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 150 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,306 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 151 00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:07,973 - Tag, you're it. - Eh, stupid kids! 152 00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:09,308 I mean, hi. 153 00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:11,546 Childhood. Happy memories. 154 00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:13,314 Oh, maybe I'll just go behind there. 155 00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:16,798 No. No. No. No. No! Hi. 156 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,151 Oh, my God, it's happening! 157 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,820 - (relieved): Okay... - (siren wails) 158 00:05:22,013 --> 00:05:23,405 Oh, poop. 159 00:05:27,685 --> 00:05:29,130 LINDA: You gotta believe me. 160 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,554 I almost always poop in toilets. 161 00:05:30,655 --> 00:05:32,722 It was an accident. An emergency. 162 00:05:32,824 --> 00:05:36,059 - That's what they all say. - They all say that? Who's they? 163 00:05:36,119 --> 00:05:37,911 - Public poopers. - What?! 164 00:05:38,063 --> 00:05:40,080 No, no, that's not who I am. 165 00:05:40,232 --> 00:05:41,726 This was all just a mistake. 166 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:44,401 I'm on this new exercise program, and I'm eating healthy. 167 00:05:44,461 --> 00:05:46,156 I think my body's just confused 168 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,807 that I'm not shoveling garbage into it. 169 00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:49,422 It's not used to salads. 170 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:53,076 And that damn cayenne pepper is a spicy little bastard. 171 00:05:53,136 --> 00:05:54,556 So, I didn't need to hear any of that. 172 00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:57,522 - Uh, the fine is $100. - Okay. 173 00:05:57,715 --> 00:06:00,584 But since you have no wallet or ID, or even a phone, 174 00:06:00,685 --> 00:06:02,936 we need someone to come pay the citation 175 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,310 with cash before you can leave. 176 00:06:04,347 --> 00:06:05,680 Okay, no problem. 177 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,418 I'll call my husband and he'll be right here. 178 00:06:07,442 --> 00:06:09,851 I get a phone call, right? Like in the movies? 179 00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,222 - Let me see your hands. - Wha? 180 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,058 - Palms up. - Oh, hand sanitizer. 181 00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:15,481 Right, right, right, right. 182 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,136 TEDDY: Oh, come on, Bob. 183 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,619 Kids, tell your dad to come to my improv show 184 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,765 and yell out "underpants." 185 00:06:20,789 --> 00:06:22,542 I'll do it at your wedding. 186 00:06:22,566 --> 00:06:24,936 Sorry, Teddy, we're quietly and obediently doing our work, 187 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,906 - like good children. - But if you want some advice, maybe just have fun with it? 188 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,866 You think improv's supposed to be fun?! 189 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,109 - (phone ringing) - Sorry, sorry. 190 00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,392 Bob's Burgers. Oh, hi. What? 191 00:06:33,585 --> 00:06:35,894 You're kidding. Are you serious? 192 00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:39,283 Uh, okay, okay, let me look. We might be a little short. 193 00:06:39,307 --> 00:06:41,378 But I'll go to the bank and head right over. 194 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:44,552 Oh, uh... I-I promise. I won't. 195 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,021 L-Love you, too. Bye. 196 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,649 That was, um, the restaurant supply store. 197 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:53,153 They called me personally to say they're-they're having 198 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,580 a half-off sale for the next 30 minutes. 199 00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:56,781 And you love them? 200 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,992 - Yes, very much. - TINA: Aw. 201 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,788 So I'm gonna go check it out real fast 202 00:07:00,812 --> 00:07:02,565 and be back in time to take you to your conferences. 203 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,072 Kids, go upstairs and do your homework. 204 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,533 - Teddy, um, leave. - Okay, fine. 205 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,230 But if you need someone to shout "underpants" 206 00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:11,174 in a room full of ten or 11 people, 207 00:07:11,289 --> 00:07:12,984 don't come crawling to me, Bob. 208 00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:14,415 Okay, sounds good. 209 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:15,745 Are you sure you don't want us to stay here 210 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,661 and do extra work, Dad, 211 00:07:17,721 --> 00:07:18,748 with our sweet little hands? 212 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,272 Yeah, really get into it. 213 00:07:20,423 --> 00:07:21,826 I don't know, maybe mop the ceiling? 214 00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:23,516 No, that's-that's okay. 215 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,755 We could tackle that sticky corner that we always avoid. 216 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,833 So many hairs stuck there. It looks like a little forest. 217 00:07:28,857 --> 00:07:31,017 I'm positive. Go upstairs and I'll be right back 218 00:07:31,142 --> 00:07:33,263 with all those restaurant supplies I'm gonna get. 219 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,289 - Your wish is our command, Papa. - (bell jingles) 220 00:07:35,313 --> 00:07:37,956 Looks like there's no cleaning our way out of this one. 221 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,294 And Mom's still out there, angrily strutting around 222 00:07:40,318 --> 00:07:42,221 thinking of God knows what to punish us. 223 00:07:42,245 --> 00:07:44,463 And God's seen some pretty rough stuff. 224 00:07:44,656 --> 00:07:46,039 (Tina groans) 225 00:07:47,492 --> 00:07:49,779 - So, uh, yeah, my husband will be here really soon. - Mm-hmm. 226 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,195 And he'll bring the money and we'll clear all this up. 227 00:07:52,255 --> 00:07:54,117 - Uh-huh. - He just has to stop at the bank. 228 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,457 Sure. He sounds great and totally real. 229 00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:57,809 He is real. 230 00:07:57,961 --> 00:07:59,789 You know what else is real? Toilets. 231 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,958 I know. I was looking for one. 232 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,317 Would it help if I showed you a picture 233 00:08:03,341 --> 00:08:05,817 of what they look like? Toilet. Toilet. 234 00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:08,487 That's the kind I have. Oh, that's a nice one. 235 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,990 - That one's okay. - Ugh. 236 00:08:10,014 --> 00:08:11,448 That one's dumb. 237 00:08:12,684 --> 00:08:14,217 What? Bank holiday? 238 00:08:14,277 --> 00:08:16,553 I know, right? Another one? 239 00:08:16,613 --> 00:08:19,647 They should just tell us the days that aren't bank holidays. 240 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:20,982 It'd be a shorter list. 241 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:22,795 Well, at least the ATMs are open. 242 00:08:22,819 --> 00:08:24,561 I know, but it's not the same. 243 00:08:24,621 --> 00:08:27,339 - I like the human interaction. - Why is my card not working? 244 00:08:27,532 --> 00:08:29,991 Oh, it's all scratched up. How did that happen? 245 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,068 Oh, right. 246 00:08:32,128 --> 00:08:34,732 Get in there. Oh, ah... 247 00:08:34,756 --> 00:08:36,367 - Is that my ATM card? - Yeah. 248 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,742 I'm showing Gene and Tina how they can open any door 249 00:08:38,802 --> 00:08:40,334 with a simple credit card. 250 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:41,781 I'm not sure I need to know this. 251 00:08:41,805 --> 00:08:42,999 Then why did you sign up for 252 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,748 Louise's Life Skills Workshop? 253 00:08:44,808 --> 00:08:47,417 I thought it would be more about organizing my closet. 254 00:08:47,477 --> 00:08:49,747 I'm just here to network. Hello, I'm Gene. 255 00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:51,007 What do you do for work? 256 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,590 Oh, my God, I hate that workshop. 257 00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:56,387 Math, math, math. Oh, who can do math 258 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,163 - at a time like this?! - I know. 259 00:08:58,187 --> 00:08:59,599 I think we finally pushed Mom over the edge. 260 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,184 I'm scared of what she's gonna do to us. 261 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,208 It's gonna be bad. 262 00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:03,761 It's gonna be really bad. 263 00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:05,688 You think she's gonna ground us through high school? 264 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,288 What if she replaces our hands and feet with mops and brooms, 265 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,939 makes us clean all day long? 266 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,694 What if she hires a gorilla to eat us?! 267 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,312 I know they're plant-eating, gentle giants, 268 00:09:13,336 --> 00:09:15,053 but everyone has their price! 269 00:09:15,204 --> 00:09:16,388 What if she says no TV? 270 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,477 - Aah! - Aah! I don't want that life! 271 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,537 Hey, did you guys watch that really great TV show 272 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:23,540 - that was on the TV last night? - LOUISE and GENE and TINA: No! 273 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,644 Too bad. It was a shared cultural moment. 274 00:09:25,757 --> 00:09:26,918 (chuckles) See you later. 275 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:29,234 We can't let this happen! 276 00:09:29,427 --> 00:09:31,163 - MAN: Just the gum? - BOB: Yes. 277 00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:33,299 So, you were sitting at home, and you thought, 278 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,367 "I need some gum, I'm gonna get in the car 279 00:09:35,391 --> 00:09:37,409 and head over to the grocery store"? 280 00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:38,651 Uh... yeah. 281 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,153 So can you just ring it up? 282 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:41,988 Yep. Ringing up one gum. 283 00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:44,227 One gum for the man that only needs gum. 284 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,750 Look, I'm kind of in a hurry. 285 00:09:45,943 --> 00:09:48,064 I-I came to cash a check because the banks are closed 286 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,473 and my ATM card isn't working. 287 00:09:49,497 --> 00:09:51,923 - Cash a check? - Yeah. Like, if I write a check 288 00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:54,259 for $40 over the amount of my purchase, 289 00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:55,980 you give me the $40. 290 00:09:56,004 --> 00:09:57,982 Oh, no, I, uh, I know what cashing a check means, 291 00:09:58,006 --> 00:09:59,931 but we're not in the '80s anymore. 292 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:03,362 - What? - Most stores stopped doing that a long time ago, including ours. 293 00:10:03,386 --> 00:10:05,604 Well, there should be a sign that says that. 294 00:10:05,755 --> 00:10:06,846 There is. 295 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,860 - Damn it! - You still want the gum? 296 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,850 - Yes. - That'll be $1.39. 297 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,519 Uh, one dollar 298 00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:16,426 and 39 cents. 299 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,283 This feels like time travelling. 300 00:10:18,476 --> 00:10:20,930 Carp. 40 minutes till parent- teacher-student conferences. 301 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,235 Oh, why can't we just have lots of money lying around? 302 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,457 Oh. Linda's secret emergency money drawer. 303 00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:28,159 - Of course! I forgot. - You know, the more I hear you, 304 00:10:28,353 --> 00:10:30,273 the more I feel like your life doesn't make sense. 305 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,464 But, uh, I'm just a normal person. 306 00:10:32,657 --> 00:10:34,023 Shush. 307 00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:35,778 I don't know what's taking him so long. 308 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,113 He should have been here by now. 309 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,786 Yeah, most people who exist 310 00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,066 would have been here by now. 311 00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:41,381 You know what? I have an idea. 312 00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:42,976 I'll go home, I'll get the money, 313 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,236 I'll come right back and pay you. 314 00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:46,105 No, no, that's not how this works. 315 00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:47,537 No, yeah, it's good, it's good. 316 00:10:47,597 --> 00:10:49,867 So should I just let everyone out of jail? 317 00:10:49,891 --> 00:10:51,294 I'm sure they'll all come back, right? 318 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,984 I mean, it's something to try. 319 00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:54,964 I'm gonna go, I'll be right back. You'll see. 320 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,655 You really should sit back down. 321 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,324 If you walk out that door, I'll be forced to detain you. 322 00:10:59,517 --> 00:11:01,809 More than I'm already detaining you. 323 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,644 - But we're friends. - Nope. 324 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:06,665 Acquaintances? If I saw you on the street, I'd say hi. 325 00:11:06,858 --> 00:11:08,058 Ma'am, don't open that door. 326 00:11:08,192 --> 00:11:09,876 No, it's fine, it's fine. 327 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:11,961 Oh, double poop. 328 00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:18,821 In case Mom really does go crazy and says no TV, 329 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,571 we should make a cardboard decoy TV for the living room, 330 00:11:21,631 --> 00:11:23,551 and we'll put the real TV in my room. 331 00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:25,111 - Um, my room? - My room. 332 00:11:25,135 --> 00:11:26,721 Okay, we'll put the TV in the middle of the floor 333 00:11:26,745 --> 00:11:28,331 and let it come to who it likes best. 334 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,832 - (door closes) - Ah! Homework! 335 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,264 Yeah, my hands are so sore 336 00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:33,119 from doing all this homework so well. 337 00:11:33,143 --> 00:11:36,085 And my butt is sore from all of my homework farts. 338 00:11:36,187 --> 00:11:38,755 - Uh, uh-huh, uh-huh, great. - Are you chewing gum? 339 00:11:38,815 --> 00:11:40,793 Since when do you have gum we don't know about? 340 00:11:40,817 --> 00:11:42,995 Did you get anything good at the restaurant supply store? 341 00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:44,351 Maybe some fun aprons? 342 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,520 - Oh, um... - Apron fashion show? 343 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,559 First of all, even if I did get some good aprons, 344 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:51,376 you kids are in trouble, so no apron fashion show. 345 00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:53,327 - Boo. - And second of all, um, 346 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,600 there wasn't anything good at the store, so I got some gum 347 00:11:56,624 --> 00:11:58,199 to cheer myself up. 348 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,541 And now I'm going into my bedroom to get something, 349 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,112 and I don't want you to follow me. 350 00:12:03,214 --> 00:12:05,890 I like new Gum Dad. He's in charge. 351 00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:07,486 LINDA: You made a big mistake 352 00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:09,390 putting me in here, a big mistake. 353 00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:12,305 Pretty Woman big. Not that I do Pretty Woman stuff. 354 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,215 My lawyer's gonna be so mad! 355 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,878 What's your lawyer's name? 356 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,236 John Lawyerton. 357 00:12:18,429 --> 00:12:20,813 John Lawyerton. I've heard of him. 358 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,075 - He's good. - Oh. 359 00:12:22,099 --> 00:12:23,691 Oh, there's Sergeant Bosco. 360 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,243 He'll vouch for me. You'll see. 361 00:12:25,436 --> 00:12:26,986 He knows I'm good for the money. 362 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,489 - Sergeant Bosco! - Linda Belcher? 363 00:12:29,641 --> 00:12:32,136 - What are you doing here? - It's all a big misunderstanding. 364 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,896 I was on a power walk and I got a ticket 365 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,065 and I don't have my purse or any ID. 366 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,734 Yeah? What'd you get a ticket for? 367 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,817 Nothing. It was nothing. It-it was no big deal. 368 00:12:40,919 --> 00:12:42,819 Public defecation. 369 00:12:42,921 --> 00:12:44,988 - Oh, dear Lord. - No, no, please. 370 00:12:45,089 --> 00:12:46,506 It was the cayenne pepper. 371 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,268 And maybe the flax, I don't know. 372 00:12:48,292 --> 00:12:50,827 Oh, but come on, Bosco, you know me. 373 00:12:50,887 --> 00:12:54,105 I thought I knew you. Public poopers are just... ugh. 374 00:12:54,298 --> 00:12:57,350 I mean, this is a society. There are rules. 375 00:12:57,502 --> 00:12:59,685 I know, I know. I say that all the time. 376 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,354 It's just the worst. 377 00:13:01,506 --> 00:13:02,759 Well, what about murderers? 378 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,116 Well, murder is bad, too, but at least 379 00:13:05,268 --> 00:13:08,119 it's not pooping outside like some kind of psycho. 380 00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:10,955 Sergeant Bosco, wait, come back. 381 00:13:11,148 --> 00:13:13,866 - It was an accident. - That went well. 382 00:13:14,019 --> 00:13:17,036 Come on, secret emergency money underwear drawer. 383 00:13:17,188 --> 00:13:19,609 Nothing. And so many holes in the underwear. 384 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,299 Why does she keep these? 385 00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:23,303 - (yelps) -Are you looking for Mom's secret cash stash? 386 00:13:23,327 --> 00:13:25,207 Hey. I told you not to follow me. 387 00:13:25,255 --> 00:13:26,899 You look like a different guy from behind. 388 00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,139 Huh. What's this? 389 00:13:28,332 --> 00:13:30,308 "I.O.U. seven dollars. Love, Linda." 390 00:13:30,459 --> 00:13:31,788 Why would she write herself I.O.U.s? 391 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:32,955 GENE: Because she's on it. 392 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,370 Dad, what's happening? 393 00:13:34,430 --> 00:13:35,814 Why do you need emergency money? 394 00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:37,794 And where's Mom? She should be back by now. 395 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:40,296 - What's going on? - Was Mom taken and you need to pay her ransom? 396 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,137 Should we call Liam Neeson? Do we need some Neeson? 397 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:46,883 - I bet he drives a Nissan. - (hyperventilating) 398 00:13:46,985 --> 00:13:49,218 Tina, kids, calm down. Everything's okay. 399 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,721 Bull-doody. Give us some answers, old man. 400 00:13:51,823 --> 00:13:54,833 (sighs) Okay, fine. While she was on her walk, 401 00:13:54,942 --> 00:13:58,411 your mom got a ticket, and we have to go pay the ticket 402 00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:01,005 but I don't have enough cash and the banks are all closed. 403 00:14:01,198 --> 00:14:02,819 - Mom got a ticket? - Yes. 404 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,529 It's just a ticket? So she's fine? Phew. 405 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:06,713 Tina, I know this is a little awkward, but... 406 00:14:06,738 --> 00:14:08,607 you don't have any babysitting money, do you? 407 00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:11,090 Like, $18? I'll-I'll pay you back tomorrow. 408 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,017 With interest. 50%, I get half. 409 00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:15,210 - Tina, let's do this. - I don't have any. 410 00:14:15,338 --> 00:14:16,615 I spent it all on Boys 4 Now perfume. 411 00:14:16,639 --> 00:14:19,599 Pituitary by Boyz 4 Now. It's nasty. 412 00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:22,694 (sighs) I think I have an idea of how to get some money. 413 00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,957 Wait a minute, what did Mom get a ticket for? 414 00:14:24,981 --> 00:14:26,417 I promised her I wouldn't tell you. 415 00:14:26,441 --> 00:14:28,294 - Jaywalking? - Walking way too loud? 416 00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:31,589 - Did her boob fall out again? - No. Wait, her boob fell out? 417 00:14:31,613 --> 00:14:33,930 At the store once. She didn't notice for a while. 418 00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:35,039 She's fun. 419 00:14:35,191 --> 00:14:36,561 - Was she trespassing? - No. 420 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,970 - Carjacking? - No. 421 00:14:37,994 --> 00:14:39,994 Flapjacking? It shouldn't be illegal. 422 00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,732 No, look, the reason she got a ticket 423 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,215 was not that big of a deal, but I promised 424 00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:46,312 - I wouldn't tell you. - Why are we stopping here? 425 00:14:46,336 --> 00:14:48,147 Time to say goodbye to an old friend. 426 00:14:48,171 --> 00:14:50,204 Is that a panini maker? 427 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:51,759 BOB: It's my CD player. 428 00:14:51,783 --> 00:14:53,411 It's the only thing that truly gets me. 429 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:56,969 So as you can see, it-it's in great condition. 430 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,472 - Mm... - I paid probably a lot for it. 431 00:14:59,624 --> 00:15:01,544 And it-it has the cassette thingy here 432 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,254 that you plug into the dashboard, 433 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:06,237 which is basically magic, and the CD goes there. 434 00:15:06,430 --> 00:15:09,890 Oh, it has skip protection, by the way, so rest easy. 435 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,243 I-I could let it go for $40. 436 00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:13,675 I'll give you five bucks for it. 437 00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:14,987 What? A-Are you crazy? 438 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,248 CDs are coming back. I-In a big way. 439 00:15:17,441 --> 00:15:19,584 I'm young and hip and I can vouch for that. 440 00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:21,731 So am I and so can I, daddio. 441 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,237 Five bucks, take it or leave it. 442 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:26,165 - $18? Final offer. - Let me handle this, Dad. 443 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,835 Hey. Give my dad $18 for his old man music machine. 444 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,741 I'd listen to her if I were you, mister. 445 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:32,989 She seems loco. 446 00:15:33,091 --> 00:15:34,933 - No. - Well, I tried. 447 00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:37,176 Okay, that didn't go great. 448 00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:38,806 But at least I didn't have to lose you. 449 00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:40,458 - To that mean man. - What are we gonna do now? 450 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,460 Well, your parent-teacher-student conferences 451 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,333 start in half an hour. (sighs) 452 00:15:44,435 --> 00:15:46,446 I guess there's one other thing we can do. 453 00:15:46,470 --> 00:15:48,270 - Tell us what Mom did? - No. 454 00:15:48,305 --> 00:15:50,092 - (phone rings) - Hello, Teddy? 455 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,950 I deserve this. 456 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,198 I was supposed to be getting fitty in my 40s 457 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,679 but instead I got poopy in the park. 458 00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:58,514 I'm a bad person rule breaker. 459 00:15:58,574 --> 00:16:00,269 No wonder the kids all got detention. 460 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,213 Look at what kind of example I set. 461 00:16:02,319 --> 00:16:04,399 They'll never respect me again after this. 462 00:16:04,488 --> 00:16:06,466 They probably don't want to come 'cause they won't be able 463 00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:08,468 to look me in my public pooping eyes. 464 00:16:08,492 --> 00:16:10,543 That's why they're taking so long. 465 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,862 - What are you in for? - Attempted to sell drugs 466 00:16:12,922 --> 00:16:14,880 to a state trooper. You? 467 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:18,184 - Public defecation. - Oh. 468 00:16:20,596 --> 00:16:22,555 So, you need $18? 469 00:16:22,707 --> 00:16:24,484 - Yep. - Is it okay if I only have a 20? 470 00:16:24,508 --> 00:16:26,559 Yeah, that's fine, Teddy. Thank you. 471 00:16:26,711 --> 00:16:28,321 Do you want to give me the two dollars' change now, 472 00:16:28,345 --> 00:16:30,154 or just owe me the whole 20? 473 00:16:30,347 --> 00:16:31,990 I-I'll owe you 20, Teddy. 474 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,044 I'm so sorry, we're-we're in a big rush. 475 00:16:34,068 --> 00:16:35,346 I can't believe Linda got a ticket 476 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,997 and you won't tell me what it's for. 477 00:16:37,021 --> 00:16:39,222 Probably flapjacking. (chuckles) 478 00:16:39,323 --> 00:16:42,074 He won't tell us, either. He's keeping that mustache shut. 479 00:16:42,227 --> 00:16:43,893 Except to chew his precious gum. 480 00:16:43,953 --> 00:16:44,985 Oh, you got gum? 481 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,987 Y-Yeah. Do-do you want a piece? 482 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,675 I never say no to a piece of gum. 483 00:16:48,699 --> 00:16:50,894 Okay, uh, here you go. Now if I could just get that... 484 00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:53,272 - Maybe one for now, one for later? - (sighs) 485 00:16:53,296 --> 00:16:55,566 - Okay, fine. Here. - Big night for me, too, I guess. 486 00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:57,535 - Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. - I'm just bouncing off the walls. 487 00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,204 - Going through scenarios, you know, pre-improvising. - Right. 488 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:03,348 - Yep. - Who knows. Who knows what the night holds, right, Bobby? 489 00:17:03,414 --> 00:17:05,668 - Mm-hmm. - Ah. Maybe I'll think of some improvs, 490 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,584 maybe I won't, maybe my mind will just go blank. 491 00:17:08,686 --> 00:17:10,086 Okay, fine. Teddy, I'll come. 492 00:17:10,146 --> 00:17:11,790 I'll come and yell out "underpants." 493 00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:13,422 Oh, really? That's great. 494 00:17:13,483 --> 00:17:15,402 Because you weren't that into it before. 495 00:17:15,426 --> 00:17:17,013 Yeah, no, yeah. It's-it's gonna be great. 496 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,348 So, anyway, Teddy, we really have to go. 497 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,517 We have parent-teacher-student conferences in 20 minutes. 498 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,358 Gosh, I-I'm just dying to know what Linda's ticket was for. 499 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,189 I bet it was something great and the cops just misunderstood. 500 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,932 Like stealing a cloud. 501 00:17:28,956 --> 00:17:30,901 - It was for public pooping, okay? - (all gasp) 502 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,737 I mean, allegedly. I mean, not that. 503 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,219 I was improvising. Forget I said anything. 504 00:17:35,371 --> 00:17:37,704 I'm taking the 20. Bye. 505 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,039 Wow. 506 00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:40,374 Mmm. Just chew it, Teddy. 507 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,393 Don't swallow it. (gulps) Damn it. 508 00:17:47,183 --> 00:17:48,419 Okay, you guys have to pretend 509 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,271 I didn't tell you what your mom did. 510 00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:52,239 May-may or may not have done, I mean. 511 00:17:52,263 --> 00:17:54,199 Y-You have to erase that from your minds. 512 00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:55,534 There are some things your father tells you 513 00:17:55,558 --> 00:17:56,982 that you never forget. 514 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,596 And "your mom got a ticket for public defecation" 515 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,319 is definitely one of them. 516 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,224 I can't believe this and I can't believe I learned 517 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,634 a new word for poop today. 518 00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:05,418 Defecation, defecation, defecation... 519 00:18:05,442 --> 00:18:06,771 - (grumbles) -...defecation, defecation, defecation. 520 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,753 Dead. They're all dead. 521 00:18:08,946 --> 00:18:13,424 Bob, Tina, Gene, Louise, dead. 522 00:18:13,617 --> 00:18:15,446 That's why they aren't gettin' me. 523 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,550 I've got no one and nothing in this world. 524 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,671 I live here now. 525 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,581 Can I, can I switch cells? 526 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:23,843 Hi, we're here to pay the fine for Linda Belcher. Here it is. 527 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,177 In small bills. 528 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,846 Great. Why is it wet? 529 00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:28,718 - Is that sweat? - Probably. 530 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,943 20, 25, 26... 531 00:18:32,136 --> 00:18:33,416 We're kind of in a hurry, so... 532 00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:35,521 Well, now I've lost my place. 533 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,856 20, 25... 534 00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,390 It's just, we have the kids' 535 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,929 parent-teacher-student conferences, 536 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,993 and we need to get to the school, so... 537 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,624 - Oh, let me know how that goes. - TINA: We got detention today. 538 00:18:44,648 --> 00:18:46,936 That's probably already in your system. 539 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,437 I don't know if that's how it works. 540 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,272 Yeah, we had a meeting about it with the chief. 541 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,629 Oh, God. 542 00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,633 Hi, honey. Sorry it took so long to get here. 543 00:18:53,657 --> 00:18:56,467 There were, um, some, uh, money things. 544 00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:58,210 It's fine. Hi, kids. 545 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,341 - Hi, Mom. -Hey, there. - Hello, Mother. 546 00:19:00,365 --> 00:19:02,451 - You told them, didn't you? - Told us what? -No. 547 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,475 I don't even know what defecation is. 548 00:19:04,668 --> 00:19:05,977 Something you do at church? 549 00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:08,220 Yeah, sorry. And I told Teddy. 550 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,314 And maybe a guy at the ATM. 551 00:19:10,507 --> 00:19:12,817 - I-I can't really remember. - Okay, fine. 552 00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:14,839 I pooped in public and I got arrested. 553 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,988 Not technically. You were detained. 554 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,997 - She got detention. - Thank you. 555 00:19:19,183 --> 00:19:21,659 So, newsflash: your mom isn't perfect, okay? 556 00:19:21,852 --> 00:19:24,162 What made you think we thought you were perfect? 557 00:19:24,355 --> 00:19:26,389 Yeah, you're a work in progress. 558 00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:28,702 Hey, we should really finish this conversation i-in the car. 559 00:19:28,726 --> 00:19:30,354 Uh, the conferences start in seven minutes. 560 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:34,063 So we should leave jail and go do that. 561 00:19:34,123 --> 00:19:36,393 So you thought I was gonna say no TV? 562 00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:38,863 - Kind of? - I would never. I'm not a monster. 563 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:42,087 TV's almost my favorite child. If I had a favorite. 564 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,497 We do celebrate its birthday. 565 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,277 And you thought we'd never respect you 566 00:19:45,301 --> 00:19:46,851 or listen to you again? 567 00:19:47,044 --> 00:19:49,187 Well, yeah. Why would you, after all this? 568 00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:51,189 Are you serious? You did time. 569 00:19:51,382 --> 00:19:53,302 I respect you more than ever now. 570 00:19:53,342 --> 00:19:55,418 Yeah, you've changed, man. You got hard. 571 00:19:55,478 --> 00:19:57,664 And we also kind of don't want to end up like you. 572 00:19:57,688 --> 00:19:59,166 - (laughs softly) - So I... 573 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:00,584 kind of scared you straight? 574 00:20:00,608 --> 00:20:02,344 - GENE: Damn straight. - Well, then, good. 575 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,096 - BOB: Okay, let's go in. - LINDA: Wait a sec. Listen. 576 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,131 - We're already late. - So we'll be a little late. 577 00:20:06,155 --> 00:20:08,355 Here's the thing: it is important 578 00:20:08,491 --> 00:20:10,060 for everyone to follow the rules. 579 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,025 But sometimes we make mistakes. 580 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,286 Some we can control, like putting a hot dog 581 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,622 in a pencil sharpener, and some we can't. 582 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,694 - Like clenching your sphynxter. - "Sphincter." 583 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,862 - What did I say? - Never mind. 584 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,363 But as long as we're trying, 585 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,370 we'll all be okay, you know? 586 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,631 - (coughs) You pooped in a bush. - Look at me. 587 00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:28,779 Any of you bring this up inside of that school, ever, 588 00:20:28,803 --> 00:20:30,210 the TV goes in the ocean. 589 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,374 - (shouts) -Got it. - We won't, ever! 590 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,974 - You, too, Bob. - I'm so scared of you right now. 591 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,788 Good. Now somebody get me a baby wipe. 592 00:20:37,812 --> 00:20:38,719 TEDDY: Okay. 593 00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:39,904 So we need a suggestion. 594 00:20:40,097 --> 00:20:41,097 Anything at all. 595 00:20:41,223 --> 00:20:42,943 - Underpants. - Chicken wings. 596 00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:45,484 Oh, chicken wings. I got a great story about chicken wings. 597 00:20:45,636 --> 00:20:47,987 I mean, i-it's a thing I'm just coming up with now. 598 00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:50,226 - Okay, chicken wings. - What? 599 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,228 Ah, one order of chicken wings, please. 600 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,085 - (chuckles) - Oh, my God. 601 00:20:54,236 --> 00:20:56,829 Uh, take it easy, sir. Who brought this guy? Uh... 602 00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:01,000 ♪ I started eating healthy but it made me have to deuce now ♪ 603 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:05,596 ♪ I tried to do it stealthy but I landed in the hoosegow ♪ 604 00:21:05,789 --> 00:21:08,173 ♪ This song I'd like to dedicate ♪ 605 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:11,510 ♪ To everyone who's defecate ♪ 606 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,099 ♪ -ed in public ♪ 607 00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:15,608 ♪ Try to hold it, try to hold it ♪ 608 00:21:15,632 --> 00:21:17,182 ♪ Just as long as you can ♪ 609 00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:18,587 ♪ For there might be repercussions ♪ 610 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,519 ♪ If you try to drop anchor ♪ 611 00:21:20,671 --> 00:21:22,424 ♪ Try to hold it, try to hold it, try to hold it ♪ 612 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,543 ♪ Try to hold it, try to hold it, try to hold it ♪ 613 00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:26,095 - ♪ Hold it, hold it in ♪ - ♪ I'm gonna make it ♪ 614 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,785 ♪ I'm not gonna break it ♪ 615 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,074 ♪ Gonna hold it, gonna hold it, hold it in. ♪ 616 00:21:30,098 --> 00:21:32,098 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 616 00:21:33,305 --> 00:22:33,732 Who are the real-world Illuminati ? 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