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♪ ♪
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Who are the real-world Illuminati ?
Find out @ saveanilluminati.com
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Hoo boy, this is
a big deal for old Tina.
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My first time plant-sitting.
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But not my last, if I nail it.
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Sure.
Plants give referrals, right?
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Some give rashes.
Does that help?
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- Hey there.
- Hello, Mr. Rudy's Dad.
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I just want you to know,
your plants are in good hands.
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And by hands, I mean
the human leaves of the arms.
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These arms.
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Okay. Well, come in.
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I'll go get
the plant-sitting guide.
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Warning: I wrote it after
a couple of glasses of vino,
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so it gets
a little confessional.
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There he is. Rudy Rudy bo-booty.
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Yep, hi.
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Geez, control
your excitement, Rudes.
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We can leave and come back in.
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Maybe this time throw out
a "hey-oh, friends ahoy."
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Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm stressed.
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Dad's going away
for two weeks so I'm packing
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for my Mom's place and I don't
want to forget anything.
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It's like, how many silk
handkerchiefs should I pack?
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- Uh, none?
- But what if there's
magic to do?
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I can't just run back here
any time I need handkerchiefs.
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Okay. Someone's worked up.
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Come on, let's go to your room.
You can pack
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and we'll help
by playing with your toys.
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All righty,
here's the plant guide.
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Oop. You know what,
you don't need to see this page.
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- Right this way.
- Knock 'em dead, T.
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You mean, uh, water 'em...
alive. (chuckles)
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Deep breaths, Tina.
You're scaring people.
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Yeah, little bit.
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Okay, back to packing.
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Dress socks... I brought way
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too many last time.
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Less is more
with these bad boys.
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Probably not bringing
your bike to your mom's, huh?
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'Cause of that popped tire?
We rode bikes on the trail
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- behind his mom's place.
- Rough terrain.
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Popped my tire
and shook my soul.
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Wow. You guys are
the Goose and Maverick
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of just getting
your training wheels off.
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Whoa. Check out the snack pile.
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(gasps) Hello, my pretties.
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Yeah, my Dad wants me to take
'em so they don't go stale
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while he's away.
It's all healthy stuff.
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Mung bean puffs?
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(munching)
Bleh. Puff, puff, pass.
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The veggie chips
are pretty good.
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(munching) Styrofoamy, salty.
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- These are good.
- Take 'em.
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- Bless you, sir.
- Well,
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it's time to pack hats.
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Get ready
for some tough decisions.
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Whoa.
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What's that?
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That's a fedora. Cool, right?
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No, that.
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Huh? Oh, that's
a blaster bridge.
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My Dad and I built it.
He had to buy it on eBay
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'cause they don't make 'em
anymore... too dangerous.
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Wha... What's
so dangerous about it?
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Uh, allow me
to answer your question
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by showing you
a little something called
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"an old ad on the Internet."
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♪ ♪
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The enemy's advancing.
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We got to blow the bridge.
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BOTH: Ignition!
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♪ Blaster Bridge. ♪
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Sweet explosive lord.
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I know.
I can't wait to blow it up.
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Who said anything about waiting?
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Why not do it
right freaking now?
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Well, first of all,
my dad can't be around for it.
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He's allergic to sulfur,
which I guess is in
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- the explosive thingies.
- Remind me to uninvite your dad
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to my hot springs party.
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Also, it turns out
the condo board is not into us
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blowing up stuff
in the common area.
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-They sound dumb.
-They are. So, after
my dad's vacation,
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he's gonna drive it
to my mom's house
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and I'm gonna blow it up there.
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Hey, I know a fun time
to do all that. Now?
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No, my plate's pretty full with
packing up all my other stuff
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right now. Speaking of which,
back to my hats.
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Which one is better
for my Mom's house?
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Eh or... eh?
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- Mm.
- (groans)
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So, that about covers the ferns.
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And just remember,
a little spritz
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keeps them looking fern-tastic.
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Feel free to use
the spray bottle holster
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that's in the closet. It's fun
and it goes with any outfit.
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- That all make sense?
- Uh-huh.
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Okey-doke.
Now on to my pride and joy.
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Wow.
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Yeah, bonsais.
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Are you picturing yourself
shrunken down having
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- a lazy day lean against
one of these little beauties?
- Uh, yep.
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So water goes in there.
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Well, there's more
to bonsai care than that.
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These trees
are a living art form.
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They're delicate
and incredibly sensitive.
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I heard that. (chuckles)
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Seriously, though, I heard it.
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Oh, yeah, you can tell
why they outlawed this thing.
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Gunpowder and sharp edges? Mwah.
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Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
Don't touch.
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The explosive things
are old and unstable.
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I bumped into it once
when I was getting up
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for a midnight tinkle
and a couple of 'em went off.
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It was scary and loud.
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- Sounds like one wild tinkle.
- Scary and loud?
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Are you trying to make me
want this more?
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It's not always about
what you want, okay, Louise?
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Do I wish the bridge
could magically show up
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at my mom's house?
Yes. Of course I do!
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Because it would be great
and also because I love magic.
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But loading this big bridge
would be a whole thing,
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and right now I have
to pack for two weeks!
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- Whoa.
- Yeah.
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Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.
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I got to say,
right now you're being a...
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a bit of a weenie.
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Uh, hey.
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What kind of lighting
is that, Rudy... recessed?
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- Louise?
- Mm-hmm?
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- Please leave.
- Say what?
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I think you should go.
For a lot of reasons.
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Also, I'm about
to pack my underpants,
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and I would like some privacy.
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So, yeah, this is Miyoko.
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My little scrapper.
Keep an eye on her leaves.
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They should be
a yellowish-green.
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Now, if they're greenish-yellow,
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put her under
strict observation, okay?
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- How strict?
- You never leave her side.
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Or, you know,
do whatever seems reasonable
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for the $25 I'm paying you.
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Okay, that's everything.
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- Ready, Tina?
- Yep. Coming.
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- All right. Take care, kids.
- You, too.
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Have fun at your
divorced dad safari.
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Oh, that-that's
not where I'm going.
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- Just a guess.
- Okay, bye.
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MORT: So I told the guy,
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"Keep jacking up
the price of the stuff
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and they're gonna have
to call it five-maldehyde."
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(gasps, laughs) Because five
is more than four.
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-Hm.
-So now I just pay
a lot for formaldehyde,
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- and that's fine.
- Look at you.
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Nothing rattles Mort.
Not even dead people
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- and all their shenanigans.
- Yeah.
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You always keep your cool.
It's kind of infuriating.
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- Nothing rattles you, Mort?!
- BOB: Easy, Teddy.
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My secret: I meditate.
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And the small stuff
just rolls off my back.
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Huh. I always
wanted to try that.
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And you know
who should try it... this guy.
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Nothing rolls off his back,
not even sweat.
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It just beads up. It's weird.
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Um, thanks. I-I mean,
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I'm kind of curious
about meditation.
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I guess I just don't want
to be alone with my thoughts?
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Ugh, what's Jimmy doing?
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Huh? Nothing.
He's standing there.
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It bugs me so much.
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I think you'd get
a lot out of meditation, Bob.
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I could show you how it's done.
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All we need is a quiet place
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where no one will bother us
for 20 minutes.
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I mean, most days
that's the restaurant.
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Yeah, we could do it here.
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I need to finish Mrs. Sobel's
makeup for the service.
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Her last wishes were
"Have fun with it."
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But I can come back tomorrow.
How's that? Who's in?
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-Sure. -Sounds good. -I'm in.
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Then it's a date...
A medi-date to medi-tate.
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Oh, don't ruin it, Mort.
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(grunts)
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Louise, everything okay?
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You keep riding
into my back tire. (grunts)
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- What? Oh, I'm fine.
- Are you thinking about how bad
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you feel about calling Rudy
a weenie in front of his hats?
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(scoffs) No.
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00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:34,582
I was just thinking about...
logistics.
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I believe you're trying
to say "la fish sticks"?
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Logistics about
how you're gonna apologize,
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because it sounds like
you should?
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I do not need to apologize.
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I meant logistics for my plan.
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I got Rudy's message,
loud and clear.
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00:06:47,132 --> 00:06:49,172
He wants to blow
up that bridge so bad.
198
00:06:49,301 --> 00:06:51,341
And he wants us to make
that happen ASAP.
199
00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:53,227
Okay, great, but it doesn't seem
200
00:06:53,321 --> 00:06:55,133
like that was
his message at all?
201
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It was, and tomorrow
we can help with that.
202
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- This is just
a transportation glitch.
- Glitch, please.
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00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,461
Okay, I'm heading
to Rudy's dad's house.
204
00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:07,962
- Bye, everyone.
- Bye, Tina.
205
00:07:07,986 --> 00:07:09,388
Have fun sitting on your plants.
206
00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:11,983
Uh, wait, Tina, um, Gene and I
thought we'd go with you.
207
00:07:12,007 --> 00:07:13,247
You know, for moral support.
208
00:07:13,341 --> 00:07:15,675
- Aw, so nice.
- That is nice.
209
00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:18,920
Yeah, weirdly nice. Sorry.
I didn't mean to say weirdly.
210
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But why do you want to do that?
211
00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,326
Because we're really
great siblings?
212
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Yeah, you are. Now go on, get.
213
00:07:24,427 --> 00:07:26,589
And next time you see us,
we'll be all chilled out,
214
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'cause Mort's gonna teach us
how to meditate.
215
00:07:29,024 --> 00:07:31,024
Really? Even you, Dad?
216
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,266
I know. I'm scared.
217
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,930
Hey, if you want
to try ayahuasca next,
218
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Ken knows a shaman.
219
00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:36,288
Thanks. Ken's not real.
220
00:07:36,439 --> 00:07:38,531
The shaman said
none of us are real.
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I've got to be honest,
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00:07:39,943 --> 00:07:41,345
I was feeling the plant-sitting
jitters, but now
223
00:07:41,369 --> 00:07:42,981
but now that I've got
you two on my side,
224
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- noth...
- Yep, yep, sounds good, so let's
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run through the plan
for moving Rudy's bridge
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00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:47,852
- over to his mom's place.
- Wait.
227
00:07:47,876 --> 00:07:50,004
- You're still serious
about that?
- Uh, yeah.
228
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,228
I want to blow up the bridge.
229
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,857
Rudy wants to blow up
the bridge.
230
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,192
So I'm doing this amazing favor
231
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and he's lucky to have me
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and I never did
or said anything wrong.
233
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Okay, but I don't think
I can help.
234
00:07:58,628 --> 00:08:00,606
Those plants need
a lot of attention.
235
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:02,964
Rudy's dad said they feel
jealousy, too, so I...
236
00:08:03,058 --> 00:08:05,203
Tina, relax.
Gene and I have got this.
237
00:08:05,227 --> 00:08:07,393
So here's the plan:
we can balance the model
238
00:08:07,546 --> 00:08:09,799
on one of our bikes
and walk it over to...
239
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,359
- Aah.
- What, Gene?
240
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:13,194
- You used the W word.
- Walk?
241
00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:14,696
- Aah.
- Okay.
242
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,828
Maybe instead we do
the leg-positive thing,
243
00:08:17,055 --> 00:08:19,255
and ask Mom and Dad
to drive the model for us?
244
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,052
Dad wouldn't want it in the car.
245
00:08:21,076 --> 00:08:22,870
Remember how weird he was
about taking home
246
00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,151
that bottle rocket we found?
247
00:08:24,246 --> 00:08:25,482
You mean
Little Orphan Boom Boom?
248
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,150
I think this is
what we call in the business,
249
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,733
a "don't tell Mom and Dad"
situation.
250
00:08:29,826 --> 00:08:30,842
Mm.
251
00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:31,918
LOUISE: Huh. It's a little...
252
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,403
...bigger than I remembered.
253
00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:35,658
- Uh-huh.
- Gene, you haven't
finished those yet?
254
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,241
I'm pacing myself. Oh, no.
Are these healthy snacks
255
00:08:38,334 --> 00:08:40,238
giving me healthy eating habits?
256
00:08:40,262 --> 00:08:41,405
I don't want to think about it.
257
00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:42,929
You guys, look at these leaves.
258
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,650
Do they look sick
or really, really fine?
259
00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:47,100
Are they supposed to fall off
when you breath on them?
260
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,769
Uh, I don't think so.
I guess I could read to her?
261
00:08:49,921 --> 00:08:51,174
Rudy's dad left a reading list.
262
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,917
Lot of grown-up books.
Who's Henry Miller?
263
00:08:52,941 --> 00:08:56,034
No offense, T, but we've got
our own problems right now.
264
00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:58,406
Whoa, that's the bridge?
It's kind of big, right?
265
00:08:58,430 --> 00:09:00,038
And fragile. And explosive.
266
00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:02,025
- Aren't we all?
- Cool, cool.
267
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,858
So maybe don't do this plan?
268
00:09:03,952 --> 00:09:05,752
- Because it's bad?
- Nuh-uh.
269
00:09:05,862 --> 00:09:08,024
We're doing it,
but, hey, it's me and Gene.
270
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,026
The professionals...
We can handle it.
271
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,919
- Sure, sure.
- Gene, get that side?
272
00:09:11,943 --> 00:09:13,254
- Roger that.
- (grunting)
273
00:09:13,278 --> 00:09:14,794
Is anything happening?
274
00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:16,107
This is killing me.
275
00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:17,246
(Tina sighs)
276
00:09:17,299 --> 00:09:18,442
Thanks for helping, Tina.
277
00:09:18,466 --> 00:09:20,352
Rudy's mom lives
less than a mile away.
278
00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:22,118
So we should be there in time
279
00:09:22,211 --> 00:09:23,781
for Rudy's afternoon
nasal cleanse.
280
00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:25,116
I'd hate to miss it.
281
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:26,768
Okay, this should work
for little sickie Miyoko.
282
00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:29,309
What's, uh, going on
with that whole situation, Tina?
283
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,789
Rudy's dad uses it so the
bonsais can hear his heartbeat.
284
00:09:31,813 --> 00:09:34,722
When I want that I just
climb up inside Dad's shirt
285
00:09:34,816 --> 00:09:36,149
like a baby kangaroo.
286
00:09:36,301 --> 00:09:37,795
MORT: Everyone comfortable?
287
00:09:37,819 --> 00:09:38,888
- Yeah - Uh-huh.
288
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:39,969
How about you, Bob?
289
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:41,321
I mean, things hurt.
290
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,582
But, um, you know,
a normal amount.
291
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:46,229
Very good.
Now, everyone, close your eyes.
292
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,736
I want you to focus
on your breath.
293
00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:49,996
Breath or breasts?
294
00:09:50,148 --> 00:09:51,642
(groans) Mort, sicko.
295
00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:52,832
I said breath.
296
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:53,903
- Oh.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
297
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,313
If your thoughts distract you,
298
00:09:55,337 --> 00:09:57,244
just come back to your breath.
299
00:09:57,339 --> 00:09:59,409
(yawning):
I think I'm starting
to feel something.
300
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,674
MORT:
Thoughts are going to arise.
301
00:10:01,827 --> 00:10:03,435
Don't resist them.
302
00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:05,473
What are you doing?
The walk-in needs to be cleaned.
303
00:10:05,497 --> 00:10:08,476
- Mm.
- Also shouldn't you be doing
sit-ups instead of this?
304
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,540
And also aren't you
hungry right now?
305
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:12,647
- He just ate.
- Yeah, but that doesn't count.
306
00:10:12,671 --> 00:10:15,499
- If he's hungry he's hungry.
- Yeah, don't food shame him.
307
00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:17,242
Hmm. I'm starting
to get hungry now.
308
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,618
Will you guys look at this mole?
Uh, normal? Scary?
309
00:10:19,769 --> 00:10:22,247
-(Bob whimpers)
-MORT: Just come back
to the breath.
310
00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:24,934
- (Bob breathing deeply)
- That's it, breathe.
311
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,459
Breathe.
312
00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:29,753
- Breathe.
- ♪ ♪
313
00:10:31,356 --> 00:10:33,351
And open your eyes.
314
00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:36,134
Wow, that felt... really good.
315
00:10:36,285 --> 00:10:39,220
- H-How about you guys?
- (snoring) Wha-wha-wha...
316
00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:42,048
Okay, easy does it.
317
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,286
Don't want to set anything off.
318
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,143
We're going pretty slow. So slow
319
00:10:45,294 --> 00:10:47,181
that I can't tell
for sure if we're moving.
320
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:48,245
Wait, are we moving?
321
00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:50,540
- Ah, bump.
- Slower. Go slower.
322
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:53,226
- Mum-mum-mum.
- Gene, eyes on the road.
323
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,821
Just one more chip.
My body needs fuel.
324
00:10:56,973 --> 00:10:58,192
- Aah.
- What the...
325
00:10:58,216 --> 00:11:00,158
Sprinklers! Back it up, people.
326
00:11:00,309 --> 00:11:01,234
(Gene and Tina groan)
327
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,713
The model, did it get wet?
328
00:11:02,737 --> 00:11:04,882
I think water's bad
for the explosive thingies.
329
00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:06,625
That could be a line
from
The Hurt Locker.
330
00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:09,167
Oh, no. Miyoko, please
tell me you didn't get wet.
331
00:11:09,394 --> 00:11:11,055
I've already watered her today.
Overwatering is
332
00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:12,482
very bad for a bonsai.
333
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,730
Phew, okay, she's dry.
334
00:11:13,823 --> 00:11:16,416
The model's dry, too.
All right, uh, new plan.
335
00:11:16,568 --> 00:11:19,010
We cross the street,
go around the sprinklers.
336
00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:20,512
I don't think so. Look.
337
00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:23,308
GENE:
Ah, this neighborhood
loves irrigation.
338
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:25,403
Maybe we could walk
really slowly in the street,
339
00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:27,664
hope cars see a sick bonsai
and a bridge model
340
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,396
and just kind of get it.
341
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,765
Or we, uh, go through.
342
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,003
Nope, nope, don't like it.
343
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,339
It'll be easy.
We just, uh, time it out
344
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,603
so the sprinklers don't hit us.
345
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,324
Did you say go back
to Rudy's dad's house?
346
00:11:39,348 --> 00:11:40,510
I think that's what I heard.
347
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,494
Come on, we gotta
get this thing to Rudy
348
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,588
to make him feel better,
in general.
349
00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:46,854
Not about the weenie thing.
Who brought that up?
350
00:11:46,948 --> 00:11:48,500
- Geez, Tina, let it go.
- Huh?
351
00:11:48,524 --> 00:11:50,353
So, are we gonna
do this thing or what?
352
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,377
(sighs) Fine.
353
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:53,431
Veggie chip,
give me strength. Yum-yum.
354
00:11:53,455 --> 00:11:56,267
♪ We're moving
an explosive bridge
♪
355
00:11:56,291 --> 00:12:00,367
♪ Explosive bridge, ooh, ooh ♪
356
00:12:00,462 --> 00:12:04,108
♪ We're moving
an explosive bridge
♪
357
00:12:04,132 --> 00:12:07,800
♪ Explosive bridge, ooh, ooh ♪
358
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,270
♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
359
00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:13,565
Doing great, guys. Almost there.
360
00:12:13,716 --> 00:12:15,975
This is so stressful.
Stress isn't good for plants.
361
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:17,218
Or plant-sitters.
362
00:12:17,312 --> 00:12:18,548
Relax. This is
Rudy's mom's street.
363
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,813
We turn here
and it's a straight shot.
364
00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:22,051
Or... maybe not.
365
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,368
GENE: Oh, boy.
366
00:12:23,392 --> 00:12:24,946
TINA:
Torn-up street and no sidewalk.
367
00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:27,281
-Great.
-This would be a perfect time
for a giant drone
368
00:12:27,305 --> 00:12:30,957
to swoop down and carry us over.
Hint, hint, Jeff Bezos.
369
00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:37,049
- What do we do now, Louise?
- Well, I mean,
370
00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:38,142
there is another way.
371
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,332
Over there.
372
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,506
We dump this thing
and go live in the woods?
373
00:12:41,577 --> 00:12:44,298
- I'm into that.
- That's the trail
Rudy and I ride on sometimes.
374
00:12:44,322 --> 00:12:46,317
It goes
right behind Rudy's mom's house.
375
00:12:46,341 --> 00:12:47,577
Isn't that the trail
that's so rough
376
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:50,009
- it popped Rudy's bike tire?
- Wait, what?
377
00:12:50,161 --> 00:12:51,344
It's not that bad.
378
00:12:51,496 --> 00:12:54,105
I mean, yeah,
the trail's a little bumpy.
379
00:12:54,257 --> 00:12:55,734
- Aah...
- Aah...
380
00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:58,259
Okay, pretty bumpy.
But it's our only option.
381
00:12:58,353 --> 00:13:00,853
It's way farther
if we turn back.
382
00:13:01,006 --> 00:13:02,447
Uh...
383
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:04,409
And hey, thanks again for
the pushing you've been doing.
384
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:06,951
I mean, pizza and beers on me
when this is all over, eh?
385
00:13:07,178 --> 00:13:09,766
- If that thing doesn't blow up
and kill us all.
- What was that?
386
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,197
Nothing. Into the woods.
387
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,533
Whoa, whoa, whoa, steady.
Watch out. Bump coming.
388
00:13:13,685 --> 00:13:16,202
Another bump coming.
Lot of bumps coming.
389
00:13:16,354 --> 00:13:17,515
Yeah, it's all friggin' bumps.
390
00:13:17,539 --> 00:13:19,350
It's the bumpiest trail
in the world.
391
00:13:19,374 --> 00:13:20,443
The bridge is gonna explode,
and there's gonna be
392
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,094
bonsai organs everywhere,
Louise.
393
00:13:22,118 --> 00:13:23,504
I have six and a quarter
veggie chips left.
394
00:13:23,528 --> 00:13:26,306
I hope I live
to snack on them again.
395
00:13:26,330 --> 00:13:28,306
BOB:
You know, I feel really calm.
396
00:13:28,457 --> 00:13:30,809
It's like I did one nice thing
for my brain ever,
397
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,863
and it can't stop thanking me.
398
00:13:32,887 --> 00:13:34,791
I know. I feel so refreshed.
399
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:38,961
- Well, you did fall asleep.
- No, I meditated. I went deep.
400
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,710
To sleep.
401
00:13:40,803 --> 00:13:41,843
I feel terrific, too.
402
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,132
So meditated.
403
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,708
- Oh, yeah?
- No. It didn't work.
404
00:13:44,732 --> 00:13:47,303
I don't know, I just thought
about wrenches the whole time.
405
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,380
Was I supposed to? Is that good?
406
00:13:49,404 --> 00:13:51,641
Hey, Bob.
Can I borrow some empty space?
407
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,218
My restaurant ran out.
Heh, zoom.
408
00:13:54,242 --> 00:13:57,146
Ha. That's a thinker,
but it's good.
409
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,223
Hey, Jimmy, Trev. What's up?
410
00:13:59,247 --> 00:14:01,673
"Hey, Jimmy"?
What's with you, cool guy?
411
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,653
Bob's relaxed
'cause he meditated.
412
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,637
-We all did.
-But we're beginners
and we're learning,
413
00:14:05,661 --> 00:14:07,846
and it doesn't always work
the first time.
414
00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:09,922
Meditated? Sounds stupid.
415
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,216
It's actually really calming.
416
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,667
You know what?
I'm gonna do it again right now.
417
00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:14,761
Ew, gross.
418
00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:16,073
I just close my eyes
419
00:14:16,097 --> 00:14:17,671
and focus on my breath.
420
00:14:17,765 --> 00:14:18,931
(inhales deeply)
421
00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:21,025
Focus on some breath mints.
Zoom.
422
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:22,935
- (laughs)
- Ha.
423
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,109
If I have thoughts,
that's totally fine.
424
00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:28,015
I come back to the breath.
425
00:14:28,109 --> 00:14:30,259
Breathe in. (inhales)
426
00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:32,778
Breathe out. (exhales)
427
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,038
Eh, this is dumb.
428
00:14:34,265 --> 00:14:36,305
Let's go make fun
of people who park bad.
429
00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:38,245
That's fine.
Whatever you guys want to do.
430
00:14:38,269 --> 00:14:40,264
Okay, now Bob's
kind of scary calm.
431
00:14:40,288 --> 00:14:42,024
- Linda?
- (Linda snoring)
432
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,381
Huh? Wha-Wha-Wha?
433
00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:46,270
- (panting): How much further?
- See that?
434
00:14:46,294 --> 00:14:48,221
That is the back
of Rudy's mom's house.
435
00:14:48,245 --> 00:14:50,032
It's exactly
how I always imagined
436
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,464
the back of Rudy's mom's house.
437
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,352
But for some reason
I pictured a pergola.
438
00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:54,784
I need to catch my breath.
439
00:14:54,877 --> 00:14:57,395
Really Miyoko's breath,
because she gives off oxygen.
440
00:14:57,546 --> 00:14:59,375
I know about plants.
Also, they hurt you
441
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,544
when they press against you
for a long time.
442
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,648
Time to rotate her.
Gene, you got this?
443
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,257
- Okay.
- Aah.
444
00:15:05,313 --> 00:15:06,479
Gene, you said you had it.
445
00:15:06,631 --> 00:15:08,751
I thought you wanted me
to rotate the bonsai.
446
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:09,649
I get that a lot.
447
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,801
(distorted): No...!
448
00:15:12,561 --> 00:15:14,390
Crap, crap, crap, crap,
crap, crap, crap.
449
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,635
- Aah. Got 'em. Phew.
- Yes. Ha-ha. Eat it, gravity.
450
00:15:17,659 --> 00:15:19,976
- Louise, could you check Miyoko?
- Sure.
451
00:15:20,069 --> 00:15:21,305
- Uh...
- What?
452
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:23,900
Do, uh, bonsais shed
their limbs off?
453
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,384
- Miyoko's branch.
- Yikes.
454
00:15:25,408 --> 00:15:27,052
- Uh-oh.
- Louise, all I wanted
455
00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:28,404
was to do a good job
plant-sitting,
456
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,464
and now I've ripped
Miyoko's arm off.
457
00:15:30,488 --> 00:15:32,688
- I thought that was his wiener.
- Miyoko's a girl.
458
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,318
Her wiener. Sorry.
459
00:15:34,342 --> 00:15:35,894
(grunts)
This whole bridge-moving thing.
460
00:15:35,918 --> 00:15:38,656
You just want to blow it up.
That's all you care about.
461
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,272
Now Miyoko's bleeding to death.
Maybe. I-I don't know.
462
00:15:41,424 --> 00:15:43,085
Of course I want to blow it up.
463
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,587
But that's not the only reason
I'm doing this.
464
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,612
I just feel like I have
to do this because of what I...
465
00:15:47,839 --> 00:15:49,096
Ah, forget it.
466
00:15:49,190 --> 00:15:51,507
Oh, my God, is this all
just your really weird,
467
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,800
totally inconvenient way
of saying you're sorry
468
00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:55,136
without saying you're sorry?
469
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:57,513
(scoffs)
That's crazy. Saying I'm sorry?
470
00:15:57,606 --> 00:16:01,608
For what? For being a great
friend who delivers bridges?
471
00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:03,940
RUDY:
Huh? What are you guys
doing here?
472
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,204
Is that my bridge model?
473
00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:07,276
- What the hell?
- Oh, hey, Rudes.
474
00:16:07,358 --> 00:16:10,468
What are you doing here
in your... backyard?
475
00:16:10,619 --> 00:16:12,448
I heard shouting,
so I came to see...
476
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,214
Wait. You brought the model
from my dad's house?
477
00:16:15,366 --> 00:16:17,326
And now it's hanging
over a cliff?
478
00:16:17,368 --> 00:16:18,621
I mean, it's not really a cliff.
479
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,790
- But...
- Uh, hey, how about you help us
480
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,199
pull these bikes up,
481
00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:23,517
and then we can talk
about how excited you are
482
00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:26,058
that I... we did this for you.
483
00:16:26,211 --> 00:16:28,022
- Ha-ha.
- On a lighter note,
484
00:16:28,046 --> 00:16:30,006
looks like you picked
the perfect hat.
485
00:16:34,068 --> 00:16:35,713
- (straining)
- Easy...
486
00:16:35,737 --> 00:16:37,161
Ah. Nice work, everyone.
487
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:38,641
- What a team.
- So, uh,
488
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,792
maybe we can move this thing
somewhere safe? I mean...
489
00:16:40,816 --> 00:16:43,075
- It's already sliding off again.
- Oh, my God.
490
00:16:43,228 --> 00:16:45,378
Yeah, you guys
are not great at this.
491
00:16:46,322 --> 00:16:47,322
Bob. Linda.
492
00:16:47,398 --> 00:16:49,301
Jimmy,
what happened to your voice?
493
00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:51,136
I went back to my restaurant
and meditated.
494
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,823
-Just like you did, Bob.
-Yeah,
Bob.
495
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,324
I feel so relaxed,
496
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,902
like I just had a long,
totally legit massage.
497
00:16:58,926 --> 00:17:00,237
That's great, Jimmy.
498
00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:02,501
Yeah. I came over to say
I think it worked for me
499
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:05,339
even better
than it worked for you, Bob.
500
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:07,336
Well, it's not a competition,
Jimmy.
501
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,171
That's something you'd say
when you know
502
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,254
- you'd lose the competition.
- Ha.
503
00:17:11,347 --> 00:17:13,439
Uh-oh, fightin' words.
504
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,348
Who would judge?
505
00:17:14,442 --> 00:17:16,609
Not Linda. That'd be illegal.
506
00:17:16,761 --> 00:17:17,761
Not Trev, either.
507
00:17:17,853 --> 00:17:19,089
Fair. We're too close.
508
00:17:19,113 --> 00:17:20,204
We're not that close.
509
00:17:20,431 --> 00:17:22,243
- Brother from another mother.
- No.
510
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:23,449
How about Mort? I mean...
511
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:25,337
Ugh. This is dumb.
Forget I said anything.
512
00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,770
Great idea, Linda.
I'm gonna call Mort.
513
00:17:27,863 --> 00:17:29,297
All right.
514
00:17:30,199 --> 00:17:32,102
Okay, so, you have your bridge,
515
00:17:32,126 --> 00:17:34,368
and you can blow it up
whenever you want.
516
00:17:34,462 --> 00:17:36,181
(chuckles): It's not about us.
517
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,776
And to prove it,
we will take our leave.
518
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:39,965
Oh. Okay. Bye, Rudy.
519
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,537
I'm just gonna go back
to your dad's.
520
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,303
Miyoko had a nice walk,
and she is, um, perfectly fine.
521
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,617
Huh. I definitely want
to blow it up.
522
00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:48,900
And you guys could watch,
since you're here anyway.
523
00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:50,651
- You... sure?
- Yeah.
524
00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:53,274
-Very well.
Whatever the gentleman wants.
-Uh...
525
00:17:53,298 --> 00:17:55,292
Okay, great. Let me
just go grab some safety goggles
526
00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:56,574
and some explosion snacks.
527
00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:59,135
I wouldn't say no to a chip
of the veggie variety,
528
00:17:59,228 --> 00:18:00,348
if you're still holding.
529
00:18:00,396 --> 00:18:02,040
MORT: As I once said
530
00:18:02,064 --> 00:18:03,617
about eco-friendly
cardboard caskets,
531
00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:06,492
I'm not sure how this will work,
but I'm game to try.
532
00:18:06,644 --> 00:18:08,622
Yeah, how do you even judge
a thing like this?
533
00:18:08,646 --> 00:18:10,974
It's fine.
We'll figure it out, right?
534
00:18:10,998 --> 00:18:13,073
Point for Jimmy.
Calm acceptance.
535
00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:15,571
Yeah. Jimmy accepted
the crap out of that.
536
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,170
- Good for you, Jimmy.
- That's a point for Bob.
537
00:18:18,323 --> 00:18:19,650
Am I late? Linda texted me
538
00:18:19,674 --> 00:18:21,410
that there was
a who-meditated-better contest.
539
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,304
They're just starting.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
540
00:18:23,328 --> 00:18:24,408
How's business, Jimmy?
541
00:18:24,495 --> 00:18:26,916
Fantastic. How's it here? Bad?
542
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,348
Point deduction.
Insults are not Zen.
543
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,327
Sorry, pal.
544
00:18:30,351 --> 00:18:32,329
Point for Jimmy.
Owning mistakes.
545
00:18:32,353 --> 00:18:34,164
- Oh, I didn't mind it.
- Point for Bob.
546
00:18:34,188 --> 00:18:35,591
You know,
when you think about it,
547
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,265
there's no "my point"
or "Jimmy's point."
548
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,193
It's just...
one point we all share.
549
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:42,840
Ten points for Bob.
550
00:18:42,864 --> 00:18:44,180
(Jimmy stifles grunt)
551
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:46,009
- I think Bob's winning.
- Bob's like a monk.
552
00:18:46,033 --> 00:18:47,491
Yeah, with even less hair.
553
00:18:47,644 --> 00:18:48,938
(chuckles) Good one.
554
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,848
Laughing Buddha point for Bob.
555
00:18:50,872 --> 00:18:52,182
Negative 20 points for Jimmy.
556
00:18:52,206 --> 00:18:53,297
Come on, seriously?
557
00:18:53,449 --> 00:18:55,185
Where do you get
these numbers from?
558
00:18:55,209 --> 00:18:57,635
Negative five points.
I'm doing my best.
559
00:18:57,862 --> 00:18:59,470
Oh, here's a point: you're dumb.
560
00:18:59,580 --> 00:19:02,047
You're dumb. You're dumb.
You're all dumb.
561
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,716
And I'm great. I win.
562
00:19:03,868 --> 00:19:07,370
- Come on, Trev.
- Wow. Your forehead vein
is really big.
563
00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:08,980
Will you shush? I know it is.
564
00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:11,127
I can see it
out of the corner of my eye.
565
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,036
- Yay, Bobby.
- You crushed him, Bob.
566
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,371
You wiped the floor with him.
567
00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:16,712
Negative point for Teddy.
Aggressive.
568
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:17,845
Mort, so help me...
569
00:19:17,973 --> 00:19:19,618
Oh, God.
Being relaxed is exhausting.
570
00:19:19,642 --> 00:19:21,620
I think
I'm gonna go clean the grill
571
00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:24,684
- and stress about things
for a bit.
- You do that, sweetie.
572
00:19:24,722 --> 00:19:26,642
We'll hang out here.
Mort can keep giving us points.
573
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,167
- How many points for me, Mort?
- Uh, four.
574
00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:30,146
Yay.
575
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,003
Stand back, everybody.
576
00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:35,731
Big explosion in five, four,
577
00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:37,675
three, two,
578
00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:39,229
one... ignition.
579
00:19:39,253 --> 00:19:40,678
I'm sorry I called you a weenie.
580
00:19:40,905 --> 00:19:42,658
(light popping)
581
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,015
Whoa.
582
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:46,684
That's it?
I expected it to be... louder.
583
00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:50,095
- And blow-up-ier.
- I expected to need
new underwear.
584
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,110
But these tighties
remain whitey.
585
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,003
Well, my ears
are still ringing, baby.
586
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,005
Wait. Did you just say
you were sorry?
587
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,173
I guess.
588
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,175
Yeah, I am sorry.
589
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,440
Huh. I mean,
you kind of wedged it in there.
590
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,759
Yeah, well,
I'm sorry I kept pushing you
591
00:20:03,852 --> 00:20:05,088
when you were stressed out.
592
00:20:05,112 --> 00:20:07,112
And I'm sorry
I called you a weenie.
593
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:09,000
You're not.
You're the opposite of a weenie.
594
00:20:09,024 --> 00:20:12,930
- A beanie?
- And I'm sorry I didn't
just say sorry right away.
595
00:20:12,954 --> 00:20:14,879
I'm not great at that, maybe.
596
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,358
And I'm glad we're friends.
597
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,435
Thanks, Louise.
Right back atcha.
598
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:20,604
Also, since the sorry train
has left the station...
599
00:20:20,628 --> 00:20:23,554
Tina, I'm sorry
about Miyoko's branch.
600
00:20:23,706 --> 00:20:26,131
It's okay. Maybe I wasn't
cut out for plant-sitting.
601
00:20:26,284 --> 00:20:28,709
Some days the plants sit
on you, am I right?
602
00:20:28,803 --> 00:20:30,706
Whoa, did you trim Miyoko?
603
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,208
- Um...
- It works.
604
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,733
I think she looks more balanced.
605
00:20:33,757 --> 00:20:36,901
- My dad's gonna love it.
- Oh. I-I mean, yeah, he should.
606
00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:38,477
So... now what do we blow up?
607
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,274
Well, I don't want
to blow them up,
608
00:20:40,298 --> 00:20:41,625
but I packed
my silk handkerchiefs.
609
00:20:41,649 --> 00:20:43,627
(singsongy):
Who's in the mood
for some magic?
610
00:20:43,651 --> 00:20:45,629
- GENE and TINA: Me.
- Or we could blow up that chair.
611
00:20:45,653 --> 00:20:48,246
- No, no, I-I like that chair.
- Or that bird feeder?
612
00:20:48,397 --> 00:20:50,357
No. Louise, I...
You don't understand.
613
00:20:50,475 --> 00:20:53,303
(laughs):
I'm kidding. Rudy,
go get those handkerchiefs.
614
00:20:53,327 --> 00:20:55,995
Okay. Or do I have them already?
615
00:20:56,147 --> 00:20:58,125
No, I don't.
Okay, I gotta go get them.
616
00:20:58,149 --> 00:20:59,189
I-I'll be right back.
617
00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:00,666
♪ Breathe in, breathe in ♪
618
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,651
♪ Breathe out, breathe out ♪
619
00:21:02,745 --> 00:21:04,073
♪ Breathe in, breathe in ♪
620
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,076
♪ Breathe out... ♪
621
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,841
(panting)
622
00:21:08,993 --> 00:21:11,585
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
623
00:21:11,679 --> 00:21:13,938
BOB (echoing):
Come back to the breath.
624
00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:16,274
Breathe in. (inhales)
625
00:21:16,501 --> 00:21:18,495
Breathe out. (exhales)
626
00:21:18,519 --> 00:21:20,444
LINDA: I meditated. I went deep.
627
00:21:20,671 --> 00:21:23,000
BOB: Oh, God.
Being relaxed is exhausting.
628
00:21:23,024 --> 00:21:24,927
♪ Breathe in, breathe in ♪
629
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,284
♪ Breathe out, breathe out ♪
630
00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:28,171
♪ Breathe in, breathe in ♪
631
00:21:28,195 --> 00:21:30,012
♪ Breathe out... ♪
632
00:21:30,105 --> 00:21:32,348
LINDA: I think I'm starting
to feel something.
632
00:21:33,305 --> 00:22:33,732
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