1
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,113
How dare you! That's the crudest
remark I've ever heard.

2
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,193
It's okay. It's...

3
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,873
It's okay, we'll get you to a hospital.

4
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:55,994
Okay, okay.

5
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,517
My wife, she have a baby now.

6
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,474
Okay.

7
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,396
Hey, come back.

8
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,152
Hey, come back.

9
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,639
Hey, don't leave me.

10
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,070
Come back, officer!

11
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,750
Ten minutes? More like 30.

12
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:51,071
It was an emergency.
I'll split it with you. Fifteen.

13
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,071
Yeah, now I know
why you're always broke.

14
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,071
You can't add.
Come on, what happened?

15
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,711
My motor home had a sudden illness.
The generator died.

16
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,589
No electricity, no water pressure,
no air conditioning, no nothing.

17
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,352
I had to get a mechanic to fix it.

18
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:08,035
A mechanic? You need a surgeon.

19
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,632
All right, you can laugh.
You got a home, you got a place to stay.

20
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,030
All I got is an emergency on wheels.

21
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:17,632
Thirty-minute emergency.
We'll have to see if Getraer thinks so.

22
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,874
Hey, he's just a sergeant.
Nobody asked him to think.

23
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,679
Help. Help.

24
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,355
Over here, help me, please.

25
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:35,150
Over here. Come. Over here.
Help. Help, please!

26
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,039
You came back.
Gracias, gracias, you came back.

27
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,633
What do you mean I came back?

28
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,234
11-82 northbound on Hollywood
and Alvarado.

29
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,595
Quick, mi esposa.

30
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,352
Ponch, call for an ambulance.
Make sure it's equipped for a premature.

31
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,636
This lady doesn't have much time.

32
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,635
- Easy, easy.
- L.A. 15...

33
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,678
Roll a county rescue
for emergency in childbirth.

34
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,876
Okay, just a minute now.

35
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,113
I'm afraid. I'm afraid.

36
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,078
There you are. There you are.
There you are.

37
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,917
Okay, just bear down. Relax, okay?
Let mother nature take its course.

38
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,069
Bear down.

39
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,549
I'm afraid. No, no, I can't.

40
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,312
- No.
- Don't be afraid.

41
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,876
Okay, come on, just take it easy.

44
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,432
Just hang on.
Everything's gonna be okay.

45
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,716
Please, it's our first baby.

46
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,236
We can't lose it. Nothing can happen.

47
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,992
Please don't let nothing happen.

48
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,390
Everything is gonna be great,
it's gonna be great.

49
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,119
- We do this all the time.
- Yeah, we do this all the time.

50
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,669
- We're experts. We're specialists.
- Yeah.

51
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:06,196
I'm the second-best baby-deliverer
in the world. He's the first.

52
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,517
You're a very lucky woman,
you know that?

53
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,235
Thank you, gracias.

54
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:15,674
At least you have a car.

55
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,910
My mother had me in a bus.

56
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,071
And look how beautiful I turned out.

57
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,151
No. No.

58
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:30,674
Okay, just bear down one last time.
Just bear down one last time.

59
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:41,788
Ponch, look.

60
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,870
I'm a father! I'm a father. I'm a father.

61
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,555
Hey, no cigars. I'm sorry.
Next time, I have.

62
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,510
- It's a girl!
- No, it's a boy.

63
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,319
Okay, it's a boy!

64
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,558
- Where were you?
- Delivering a baby.

65
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,870
Yeah, well, welcome to the club.

66
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,877
Hey, partner, you were beautiful.

67
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,429
You got hands of a surgeon,
did you know that?

68
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,830
Yeah, well, I had a little help
from Mother Nature.

69
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,991
But, hey, you didn't do
too bad yourself.

70
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,948
Yeah, I guess I did pretty good, huh?
I did do a terrific job.

71
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,951
- Thank you.
- Hey, it's okay.

72
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,236
- Gracias, gracias.
- Any time.

73
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,391
- Thank you.
- Congratulations.

74
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,673
What a life.

75
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:54,310
I bring a baby into the world
and become an orphan myself.

76
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,708
All in one day.

77
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,399
Okay, Ponch, I tell you what.

78
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,235
If your motor home isn't fixed,
you can move into my apartment.

79
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,196
I thought you'd never ask.

80
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,238
For a little while.

81
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:58,069
Well, if it isn't Ponch, the pediatrician.

82
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,549
Congratulations, guys.

83
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,996
You cheapskate. It was a whole baby.

84
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:08,434
Hey, my wife is four months along.
You guys gonna be available?

85
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:12,195
Dr. Jon would be okay.
But sure got an ugly nurse.

86
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,158
What do you guys know?
You're car cops.

87
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,914
Well, we do know Getraer
wants to see you on the double.

88
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,672
I wonder what Getraer wants with us.

89
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,798
Probably wants to offer
congratulations.

90
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,790
Hi, sarge, wanna see us?

91
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,552
Oh, yeah.

92
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:29,835
Wanna take a seat?

93
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,913
I bet you wanna offer congratulations
on the delivery of a beautiful baby girl.

94
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,548
Ponch, baby boy, remember, baby boy?

95
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,756
Hey, either way, it was a baby.

96
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,194
And it wasn't easy, sarge.

97
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,715
I mean, the strain alone
can wear down a normal man.

98
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:47,351
Yet me and my faithful partner here,
we delivered new life into this world...

99
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,511
...under the most adverse conditions,
sarge.

100
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:53,309
Fine, Frank, fine.
Now, would you mind sitting down?

101
00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,193
Look.

102
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,077
I had a complaint today.

103
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:06,637
It seems that one of my motor officers
was a little more than charming...

104
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,793
...to a certain female motorist.
I believe the term is "coming on strong. "

105
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,157
The young lady checked
the squad pictures out in the hall...

106
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,151
...and picked you out, Jon.

107
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,593
Wait a minute, she picked me?

108
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,672
Yeah, it's more than just being
a little friendly with the ladies.

109
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:25,674
She claims that you upset her and she
pulled out into traffic without looking.

110
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,239
I wasn't even there.

111
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,437
I know you weren't, Jon.
But that couple you played doctor for...

112
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,114
...they identified her car
as the one that cut him off...

113
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:34,872
...and you as the officer involved.

114
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,794
In fact, she said you came to check him
out and then left to get your partner.

115
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,190
I don't care what they said.
It's not true. I was...

116
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,112
Jon, I believe you, you know that.

117
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,636
- All right, then. Why don't we go out...
- Look, departmental procedure...

118
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,150
Departmental procedure says I have
got to follow through with the report.

119
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,389
Don't you understand?

120
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,470
Yeah, yeah, I understand.

121
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,158
Look, you were the only one
on the beat at that time.

122
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,880
And that girl says she spoke
to a uniformed officer...

123
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,393
...and swears it was you.

124
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,792
Sarge...

125
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,599
...maybe it was one of those
play cops?

126
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,834
Right. I mean, one of those wackos
that gets off thinking they're one of us.

127
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,390
That's what I've been thinking.
It's a possibility, and if so...

128
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,755
...this guy's dangerous.

129
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,277
Well, look, anyway, for the record,
you guys never ride alone...

130
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,510
...and they say this officer was alone.

131
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,672
Wait a minute. As a matter of fact...

132
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,559
Jon, we better get going.
Sarge will take care of everything.

133
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,996
Right, sarge? See you later. Come on.
We gotta get going. He's busy.

134
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,071
We've taken enough
of his time, come on.

135
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,038
Yeah, you guys can go.

136
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,277
Hey, Ponch, you really
didn't have to cover for me.

137
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,594
Hey, I wasn't. I was covering for me.

138
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:52,716
It was my emergency, remember?

139
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,633
Yeah.

140
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,718
I can't understand how that girl
said she could identify me.

141
00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,108
I wasn't even there.

142
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,079
Hey, come on, Jon.

143
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,756
Between the glasses, the uniform and
the helmet, the public can't tell us apart.

144
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,718
You know, you've seen one,
you've seen them all.

145
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,877
Pull it over.

146
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:18,151
All right, I wanna see everybody's
license and registration, please.

147
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,799
May I see your driver's license
and registration, please?

148
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,919
Look, officer, I'm really sorry about this.
But this really isn't my fault, you see.

149
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,074
You're going over 80,
you're weaving in and out of traffic.

150
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,835
Keep that up, you'll be celebrating
a funeral instead of a wedding.

151
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,799
Yes, sir.

152
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,313
Will you knock it off?

153
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,959
Must be the champagne.

154
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,792
- Wait a minute. You've been drinking?
- Oh, no, sir, not me.

155
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:47,272
She has, my girlfriend. I mean my wife.
Just a few glasses, that's all.

156
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,954
- Thank you.
- I'm really sorry about this.

157
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,634
We're just trying to get away
on our honeymoon, you see.

158
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,916
These are my friends back here.

159
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,640
They followed me from the party.
We're trying to get away.

160
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,552
They think we're just fooling around.

161
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,189
Today.

162
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,318
Look, I'm sorry if I caused
any problems. My friends too.

163
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,550
You know,
they just think it's funny doing this.

164
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,870
Hey, it'd be funny at 55.

165
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,996
Yes, sir. I'm really sorry about that.

166
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,151
I was trying to outrun them.
I'm in the Navy.

167
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,993
I just got a couple days' leave.
I'm trying to get away.

168
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,353
- Yeah, you're on leave?
- Yes, sir.

169
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,394
Okay, I'll be with you in just a minute,
all right?

170
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,557
The guy probably
has a 24-hour leave too.

171
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,430
- All right, where's Dorfner?
- Hey, Ponch, listen.

172
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,068
Hey, partner, you're gonna
have to help me out with this.

173
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,515
- It'll take an hour to write these up.
- An hour?

174
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,433
- At least, yeah.
- That's just enough time.

175
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,194
What are you talking about?

176
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,910
I tell you what.
I give you an hour's head start...

177
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,514
...on your buddies back there
and just keep it at 55.

178
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,240
Consider it a present
from the California Highway Patrol.

179
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:16,871
- Terrific.
- Thank you, officer. You're really super.

180
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,190
- Thank you.
- Thank you. I really appreciate this.

181
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:22,272
- You bet. Have a nice honeymoon.
- Thank you.

182
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,870
- Hey, what happened?
- It's okay, we deliver babies too.

183
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,552
They escaped.

184
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,792
How's it going?

185
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,032
Hey, you take this.

186
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,156
Okay, Ponch.

187
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,235
And this one.

188
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,995
Oh, matched luggage.
Does it come in any other colors?

189
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,397
Hey, I forgot my weights.

190
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,710
Ponch, you'll only be here
one night, remember?

191
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,871
One single night.

192
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:26,271
Hey, I can't let my body
get flabby, can I?

193
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,394
How are you gonna play with this thing
with no strings?

194
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,437
I was gonna restring it while I was here.

195
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,319
Yeah, okay. Here.

196
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,669
Hi, Jon.

197
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,673
- How are you doing, Sandy?
- Fine, thanks. I'll talk to you later.

198
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,319
- Okay.
- Who's that?

199
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,232
Just a neighbor.

200
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,760
My hero. Perfect timing.
The bundle on the right is yours.

201
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,399
Oh, thanks a lot, Alice.

202
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,997
- I'll get the door, partner.
- Okay, Ponch.

203
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,196
Wow, how do you do it?
Neat as a pin.

204
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,554
- Hey, hi, Dana.
- Hi, Jon.

205
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,473
Different lifestyles, Ponch, that's all.

206
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,790
I'm sorry, Jon, I didn't realize
you had company.

207
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,269
Hey, that's okay. I'm Ponch.

208
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,510
I'm gonna be staying here with Jon
for a while.

209
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,999
Will I be seeing a lot of you?

210
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,391
I think you've seen enough all ready.

211
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,075
Hey, you don't have to go.
Can't you stay?

212
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,356
Oh, that's okay.
I'm losing my sun anyway.

213
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,954
- I'll see you later. Thanks, Jon.
- You bet.

214
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,599
- I'll talk to you later.
- Thanks.

215
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,318
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.

216
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,838
Who is that?

217
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,992
- That is Dana.
- Dana, huh?

218
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,676
Hey, come on, Jon,
you know what I mean.

219
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,751
What's the story?

220
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,270
She's just a stew
and she's a neighbor.

221
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,829
She doesn't get any sun
on her side of the building...

222
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,231
...so she comes over here and uses
the terrace whenever she wants.

223
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,358
Yeah? And that laundry chick,
who's that?

224
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,598
That was Alice.

225
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,478
She's a legal secretary.

226
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,517
I supply the quarter,
she does the wash.

227
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,113
She's a good friend, that's all.

228
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,991
Yeah, well, how many friends like that
you got around here, huh?

229
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,630
Well, let's see.

230
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,551
There's Nancy, she's upstairs
and comes down...

231
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,358
...does the cooking once in a while.

232
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,669
There's charlene.

233
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,115
There's Mary,
she does the shopping once in a while.

234
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,396
Charlene's the one
that does a little dusting.

235
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:30,314
Yeah, well, how come you didn't tell me
about these lovelies before, partner?

236
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,675
I didn't know it was important to you,
okay?

237
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,070
You didn't know it was important?

238
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,514
Hey, Ponch.

239
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,035
Do you really have to
put all that stuff in there?

240
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,316
Hey, come on.
I gotta keep this stuff fresh.

241
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:48,190
Oh, come on, that stuff has enough
preservatives in it to last forever.

242
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,796
Jon, I like the filling in my Ding Dongs
at a certain temperature.

243
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,632
Yeah. So they don't get gooey, right?

244
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,995
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

245
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,032
No more rock at this hour.

246
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,076
Oh, Ponch.

247
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:55,232
Hey, the roommates look
a little tired this morning.

248
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,957
You bet I'm tired.
I mean, like, how can a man sleep?

249
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,553
Every time I doze off...

250
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,154
...another beautiful lady
wanders into the apartment...

251
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,719
...to see if Jon needs anything.

252
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,792
I mean, like, he's been adopted
by 30 foxy ladies...

253
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,439
...who tend to his every need.

254
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,433
- Hey, come on. All they are is just...
- And he calls them friends.

255
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,670
He's the friendliest guy
in the whole building.

256
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,229
Oh, and like, the door,
it opens automatically...

257
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,073
...to the sound of female breathing.

258
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,312
Okay, old buddy. It's the kid's turn.
You can't believe this guy.

259
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,357
Stays in my apartment,
everybody knows him.

260
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,590
He snores all night,
makes this animal noises...

261
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,320
...and he starts walking around
at 2:30 in the morning.

262
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,710
- Hey, I get hungry.
- He gets hungry. You know what?

263
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,950
He sleeps with a teddy, a little teddy.

264
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,634
- I've seen him hug it.
- It's not a teddy, it's a pillow.

265
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,199
Oh, it's a pillow. I tell you.

266
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:43,239
That's the brownest, fuzziest,
wuzziest little pillow I've ever seen.

267
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,233
You love it, Ponch, you love it.

268
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,719
All right, all right, maybe.

269
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,553
But if I had all the friends you had,
I wouldn't need it.

270
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,474
Like Alice friend,
Mary friend, Jane friend, huh?

271
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,911
So that's where they all end up,
huh, Jon?

272
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:58,989
What do you mean?

273
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,993
Oh, come on. I saw you
up on the Hollywood yesterday.

274
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,355
Hitting up on that brunette
in the sedan.

275
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,195
You saw me?

276
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,999
- Yeah.
- Hey, come on, Bar, that wasn't Jon.

277
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,913
So, what's the description
of this guy you saw, Baricza?

278
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,640
Well, it could've been
Jon's twin brother.

279
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,268
- Tall, blond hair, just like him.
- Are you positive?

280
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,557
Yeah, hey, sarge, I'd recognize
that blond baton anywhere.

281
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,597
It's a Baker trademark.

282
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,718
Looks like our theory of a double
is right on target, fellas.

283
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,668
I meant to tell you something, sarge.
Ponch and I were separated yesterday.

284
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,312
I had a personal emergency.

285
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:37,395
At what time?

286
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,479
Between 10 and 10:30.

287
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,034
Time of the accident.

288
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,159
Sorry, sarge.

289
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,118
Look, we'll all be sorry
if we don't find this character.

290
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,033
Because right now I have to send
in a report to Sacramento...

291
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,760
...saying that you were alone
at the time of the incident.

292
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,515
What kind of turkey rides around
on a motorcycle, thinking he's a cop?

293
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,198
Well, the M.O. Is usually the same.

294
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,794
They think the uniform and power
that goes with it...

295
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,110
...is an answer to an uneventful life.

296
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,794
Guys who wanted to be cops
who couldn't make the grade...

297
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,077
...usually because of twisted minds
rather than bodies.

298
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,198
They're usually not out to hurt
anybody, just to play hero.

299
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,514
In this case, to impress the ladies.

300
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,956
The real danger is that in an
emergency situation on the freeway...

301
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:23,510
...when people look to him for help,
he obviously can't deliver.

302
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:28,756
Most of the time, the public can't tell
the difference between us and them.

303
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,480
And of course,
that's the real problem for us.

304
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,315
Now, this particular turkey
is without conscience.

305
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,358
He caused a very serious accident
and left the scene.

306
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:40,317
So we've gotta find him, and fast.

307
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:44,598
We can't do it in here.
Let's get to briefing and get out of here.

308
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:06,318
Hey, I'll never leave you alone again,
partner.

309
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,878
Thanks.

310
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:13,354
Hey, that's Getraer.

311
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,432
Looks like he's hitting
the bricks for once.

312
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,112
Mister, you're under arrest.

313
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,430
Shove it, pig, just shove it.

314
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,520
You could've killed somebody.
Highway is not a drag strip.

315
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,159
I'm in no mood for a sermon.

316
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,675
You're not, huh?
Well, you're gonna get one anyway.

317
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,151
- Come here.
- Come on, he's talking to you.

318
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,880
- Put your left hand on your head.
- Big deal.

319
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,190
Look, you may not give
two cents for your life...

320
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,272
...but there's a lot of people out there
who do care about theirs.

321
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,112
Oh, that's real funny.

322
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,032
Is that why you ran me off the road?

323
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,758
Because you're worried about life?

324
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,791
Look, that's a stolen car
and that's a felony.

325
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,791
You call the shots, kid.

326
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,155
You'd like that, wouldn't you?

327
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:23,829
Hey.

328
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:25,878
What's the matter with you?

329
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,553
Is it cops?

330
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,438
Or you just hate the world in general?

331
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,278
What's it to you?

332
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,759
You gonna arrest me?

333
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,230
Or are we gonna stand around here
and play reform school all day?

334
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,358
I think that's a little too late for that,
old buddy, come on.

335
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,310
- Hey, how are you doing?
- Pretty good. How are you doing?

336
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,357
The motor home,
almost finished with it?

337
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:07,509
Soon as I'm done.

338
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:12,592
Let me start all over again.
The motor home, this one, it's mine.

339
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,398
When will you have it fixed?

340
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,279
- This one?
- Yeah.

341
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:18,998
We got a problem.

342
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,435
I couldn't get
a replacement generator for it.

343
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,751
That thing's so old,
they don't make them anymore.

344
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,069
I don't know what we'll do.

345
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,388
- You gotta be kidding.
- No.

346
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,190
Hey, what am I gonna do?
I need it. I live in it.

347
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,753
In that? You gotta be kidding.

348
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,630
- Don't look like anybody could live there.
- Hey, never mind the inside.

349
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,631
You're supposed to work
on the generator.

350
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,638
I got a generator that's almost
like the one that burnt out.

351
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,598
I'm gonna have to rewire that thing.
It'll take me another day.

352
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:50,875
Another day?

353
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,439
You live in there too?

354
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,478
No, I was just curious. Thanks.

355
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:57,434
Hey, I'll do the best I can.

356
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,679
Please do, okay?

357
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,308
I miss my home sweet home.

358
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,153
Yeah, and I miss mine too.

359
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,908
Oh, hi, Jon.
I was just using your hair dryer.

360
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,594
- I blew a fuse in my apartment, okay?
- Oh, sure.

361
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:42,954
- Great. Thanks.
- You bet.

362
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,109
- Hi.
- Hi.

363
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:45,952
- Bye.
- Bye.

364
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,151
How come you didn't ask her to stay?

365
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,075
Because she was finished
drying her hair.

366
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,236
You should have asked her to stay
for coffee.

367
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,039
I would have offered her
a Ding Dong or something.

368
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:07,588
What's the matter?

369
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,236
I don't know. Just this double-character
thing starting to get me down.

370
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,070
Hey, easy, huh? You know
the whole squad is behind you.

371
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,915
Yeah, I know.

372
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,712
I mean, we're gonna get this dude.

373
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,759
Hey, that's a promise from old Ponch
to his best buddy.

374
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,919
Yeah. Thanks, Ponch.

375
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:43,838
I just hope it happens soon.

376
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,230
Hey, it will be, partner.

377
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:49,913
It will be.

378
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:28,629
Hello, officer.

379
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,950
May I see your driver's license
and registration?

380
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,078
- What did I do?
- You were doing 40 in a 35-mile zone.

381
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,515
That's ridiculous.
I wasn't going over 30.

382
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,717
Are you gonna give me your license
or do I have to run you in?

383
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,518
All right.

384
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:52,468
Jobina Dennings, 166 Ivy Lane.

385
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,791
That's the swinging singles place
over by Eagle Street, isn't it?

386
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,713
If you're going to write a ticket,
do it and get it over with.

387
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,595
Hey, look here, babe.

388
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,112
What do you say you just drive home,
and I'll tag along behind you?

389
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,714
And then I'll stop up
for a little nightcap. And...

390
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,192
How dare you?
Look, I want you to know...

391
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,117
...Officer Block, I'm gonna report you.

392
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,395
Oh, no, you don't.

393
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,199
What are you doing?
Give me back my keys.

394
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,519
Let me have those.

395
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,716
What are you doing?

396
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,030
I know what goes on
in the swinging single places.

397
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,988
A cop who risks his life in the line of
duty isn't good enough for you, is he?

398
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,232
Let me go. You're scaring...
Let me go. No.

399
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,994
Are you crazy? Let me go.
What do you think you're doing?

400
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,356
Not a bad movie, huh, partner?

401
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,318
Yeah, Ponch, thanks.
It was a good idea.

402
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,710
Hey, looks like one of our guys
is in trouble.

403
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,757
Give me those keys back or...

404
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,799
Let go of me.
What are you doing?

405
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,200
- Hold it. We're cHPs.
- She was resisting arrest.

406
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,556
- He's a liar. Let me go.
- Ma'am.

407
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,358
- I won't hurt you.
- Let me go.

408
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,556
- Hey, hey.
- I'm gonna report both of you.

409
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,995
- You're in it together.
- Ma'am. Ma'am.

410
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,754
- Let me go.
- We don't wanna hurt you, all right?

411
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,633
- Don't... Let me go.
- Relax a minute, we don't want...

412
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,198
All right, hold it, freeze it right there.

413
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,438
Lady, step away from them.

414
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:23,474
Okay, now what's going on?

415
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,838
Their friend stopped me
and then made dirty insinuations...

416
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,072
...and attacked me and these
two came along and helped him.

417
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,630
Hey, listen, we're cHPs, okay?
We're gonna reach for IDs.

418
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,392
You do it very slowly.

419
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,879
We were assisting another officer and...

420
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,798
Where did he go?

421
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,352
Hey, he split.

422
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,316
He's a phony officer. Haven't you
heard about the phony CHP officer?

423
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,631
Yeah, the phony.
We had a teletype in briefing. Yeah.

424
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,273
You mean...

425
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,793
...he wasn't a real cop?

426
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:14,077
- Well, listen, we're gonna have to...
- Please, I just wanna go home.

427
00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:17,152
I don't... I can't take any more of this.

428
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,079
We don't blame you,
after what that jerk put you through...

429
00:34:20,240 --> 00:34:22,117
...and us coming along
and making it worse.

430
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,589
Just relax and everything will be fine.
Hey...

431
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,478
You look like him.

432
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:28,634
What?

433
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,591
You look like him.

434
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,035
Yeah, I know.

435
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,152
I gotta write a report on this.

436
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:42,237
My partner's really good with reports
so he'll give you a hand, right, partner?

437
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:44,557
Yeah, thanks, Ponch.

438
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:50,115
Listen, we're really sorry. Really, now.

439
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,713
I just think I'm too shaky
to drive home.

440
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,155
We'll be glad to drive you home.

441
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,229
Hey.

442
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,960
I mean that as innocent as it sounds.

443
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:04,553
Please.

444
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:05,955
Thanks.

445
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:07,678
All right. Come on.

446
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,317
Why me?

447
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,388
What's the matter?

448
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,198
Power go off?

449
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,000
Hey, you are off, all right?

450
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,596
You're not only a danger to yourself,
you're a danger to my peace of mind.

451
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,149
Because of a little music?
Come on, it's too quiet around here.

452
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,436
No sounds, no beat.

453
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:15,149
Put a seashell up to your ear and listen
to the beat of the seashore, okay?

454
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,151
I mean, I don't wanna
share it with you.

455
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,995
I don't know. Maybe nothing's wrong
with you. All this stuff...

456
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,152
I don't... Maybe I'm crazy. I don't know.

457
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,752
I just wonder how much a new
motor home for you is gonna cost.

458
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,069
Who is it?

459
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,238
It's Jon.

460
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,235
- Oh, Jon, hi.
- Hi.

461
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,188
Listen.

462
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,920
I'm sorry, can I borrow your couch
for the night?

463
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,915
Sure, come on in.

464
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:14,519
What is with you, you turkey?

465
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,240
Driving a monster like this
doesn't give you right of way.

466
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:21,109
Well, maybe the signal broke, but
I'm big enough for you to see, stupid.

467
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:24,113
Oh, yeah? I got better things
to look for than dummies like you.

468
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:28,637
If you want to test your bumper, why
don't you just drive into a brick wall?

469
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,519
At least a brick wall's
got more brains than you.

470
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,990
Brains! You do not know
the meaning of the word "brains. "

471
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,118
You realize you're blocking
half the city street with...

472
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,113
Well, if you'd watch
where you were going...!

473
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,157
- Watch where I was going?
- That little car...

474
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:47,233
- You talk about brains, fellow.
- It's a big locomotive, how can you hit it?

475
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,597
- You can't even see, can you?
- Oh, I can.

476
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:59,037
- I am going to teach you a lesson.
- LA 15...

477
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,829
I am going to teach you a lesson
because I can take it.

478
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,956
Calm down, all right?

479
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:09,150
It doesn't look like anybody's injured.
No use getting injured by fighting.

480
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,630
- All right.
- Need an 11-84 for assistance.

481
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,278
Do me a favor, will you?
Put out an APB on his brain.

482
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,159
Hey, how about doing me a favor, okay?
You guys finished?

483
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,840
Get a load of the size of that thing.

484
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,638
Must be a heck of a thing to drive?

485
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,398
We gotta get this traffic cleared up.
So can you move it?

486
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,796
- Nope.
- What do you mean?

487
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,714
I'm not moving
until all the paperwork's filled out.

488
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,196
Hey. Want it moved?

489
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:17,552
Move it yourself.

490
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,151
I'll make a deal with you.

491
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,593
We'll both move the engine. Deal?

492
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,351
Well, maybe.

493
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,798
Hey, beauty, what's happening?

494
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:03,756
How many horsepower has she got?

495
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,753
- Thirty-six hundred. Yup.
- Thirty-six hundred?

496
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,348
You wanna try it?

497
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,996
No, I mean, I don't know how.
I mean, I couldn't.

498
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,276
It's your last chance.

499
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,238
- Well, no, I mean, like, I'm in uniform...
- Yeah.

500
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,039
And everything, I couldn't...

501
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,159
Hey, Jon.

502
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,518
- He's mine, baby.
- Not until I'm finished with him.

503
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,231
He's even better-looking than you are.

504
00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:46,912
Wait a minute.

505
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:48,553
Are you guys really cops?

506
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:50,799
Yeah.

507
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,111
We're really cops.

508
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,108
Except that it comes from the inside...

509
00:42:57,800 --> 00:42:59,279
...not from what you're wearing.

510
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,196
- Hey, yeah?
- How are you doing?

511
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:29,839
Okay, how are you doing?

512
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,590
Now wait a minute, wait a minute,
let's not go to through that again.

513
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,838
I'm the cop who owns the problem
you're working on.

514
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,230
Oh, this one? Well, it's okay, I guess.

515
00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:43,231
Well, is that just a guess?

516
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:48,554
You see, I got the generator hooked up
but I can't get the dumb thing to work.

517
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:53,392
Hey, wait a minute. You said
you'd have that thing fixed today.

518
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,518
Hey, I'm sorry, guys,
I'm gonna need more time.

519
00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,953
Here, Ponch.

520
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:02,389
What are you doing?

521
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,393
You can have my apartment, my stereo,
my car, everything.

522
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:06,669
What?

523
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:11,038
Yeah, you can have Cerie, Roni,
Sandy, Charlene, Alice, all of them.

524
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,309
What are you gonna do?

525
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,753
I'm gonna stay right here.

526
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,071
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