♪♪
[coins clink]
Something's terribly wrong.
[Webby grunting]
Haah!
[roars]
No, that's not it.
[muffled sound of wind blowing]
Aaaah!
[Scrooge] Tempest in a teapot.
Pesky, but manageable.
[Della and Huey] A prophesied hero has arrived.
A hero who is... you?
Rise, Legends of LegendQuest!
I mean, this is very wrong, but it's not this, either.
I've checked the whole blasted mansion.
What can it be?
[coin clinks]
Morning, Scroogie.
Goldie?! What are you doing here?!
She's with me.
♪ Life is like a hurricane ♪
♪ Here in Duckburg ♪
♪ Race cars, lasers, airplanes ♪
♪ It's a duck-blur ♪
♪ We might solve a mystery ♪
♪ Or rewrite history ♪
♪ Ducktales, whoo-ooh ♪
♪ Every day they're out there making Ducktales ♪
♪ Whoo-ooh ♪
♪ Tales of derring-do ♪
♪ Bad and good-luck tales ♪
♪ Whoo-ooh ♪
♪ D-d-danger lurks behind you ♪
♪ There's a stranger out to find you ♪
♪ What to do? ♪
♪ Just grab on to some Ducktales ♪
♪ Whoo-ooh ♪
♪ Every day they're out there ♪
♪ Making Ducktales ♪
♪ Whoo-ooh ♪
♪ Tales of daring bad and good ♪
♪ Not phony tales or cottontails ♪
- ♪ No, Ducktales! ♪ - ♪ Whoo-ooh! ♪
*DUCKTALES (2017)* Season 02 Episode 18 Title: "Happy Birthday Doofus Drake!"
Why? How?! Why?!
Your whole "work really hard, make money square" thing
doesn't really work for me.
Goldie's "make money easy with no downsides"
works much better with the Louie Incorporated brand.
Hands off, you common thief!
Don't let her get too close, lad.
Oh, please, I'm a professional.
I can handle this.
[Louie] How did this go so wrong so quickly?
Rule number one, kid:
If you wanna pick a pocket, you gotta get close.
[floorboard creaks]
Better luck next time, rookie.
[Louie] Rookie? I'll have you know,
I am the "evil triplet," okay?!
Sure. You're the scariest bunny in the pet shop.
Lemme guess, you see all the angles.
You're "sharper than the sharpies."
Didn't see this angle, sharpie.
[softly weeping]
Louie Incorporated is my dream,
but no one believes that I can do it.
I know I'll never be able to work harder than Scrooge,
but I... I thought maybe I could learn to be clever like you,
my... my hero.
Not bad. Was that a "Crocodile Waterworks"?
[Louie] It was a "Hero's Guilt Trip" with a "Lone Wolf Gambit."
You know your cons.
Hmm.
So you'll teach me?
Only if you can get me in here.
No. No way. Not Doofus Drake's Birthday!
[Della] I can't believe this game's still around!
Scrooge and Donald used to come home to sleep after an adventure,
but this baby let me quest all night long.
This is going to be epic!
[dramatic music playing]
[Huey] Let's do this!
[gentle music playing]
So what do you think the word "epic" means?
[force field humming]
Epic. Real epic.
[pulses]
Sooo, what first?
Raid the Cybertroll Citadel?
Crash the wedding of Princess Username
and the demonic yet alluring Heartthrob-goblin?!
Invaders!
Hup!
Haaah! Huh?
Stay away from my DataFarm!
- Yah! Unh! - [insects chime]
These Grindhoppers drop 3 XP!
But the impractically giant weapons!
The high-stakes adventure!
[thunder]
Ha ha. You want high stakes?
If I don't defend this crop,
the whole village won't have turnips this season, so...
watch out!
[laser blasts]
[chimes]
You're doing it!
- [bell dings] - [party horn toots]
[shuddering]
Oh! [stammering] I'm good!
Laaah!
[groaning]
"Not full of hair"?
The fact that he has to say it... [gasp]
There's gotta be...
[together] ...$457 million and 17 cents...
...worth of stuff here!
Gift bags for guests as they depart
full of priceless heirlooms
from Doofus' beloved Guhmeemama Frances.
[both, reverently] Guhmeemama...
- [gong rings] - The hour is at hand!
Great party.
Can't wait to tell my therapist about it when I'm older.
Bye-eeee!
[Goldie] Nope.
What? Pretend to be family, bolt with our gift bags.
- That's the con. Aah! - [slap]
No. That's just being a bad party guest.
Besides, we're not common thieves.
We're con artists, and we're getting all the bags.
And how are we supposed to do that?
If I told you the whole plan up front,
you'd never learn anything.
Also, I don't know yet.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you perfection.
[harp music playing]
[Doofus' dad] I give you grace.
I give you the universe's perfect widdle angel...
[ratcheting]
Doofus Drake.
[Doofus] Hellowyn, Llewellyn.
Aaah!
I mean... Happy Birthday!
It warms my heart
to see all my wonderful friends and your loving parents.
- It reminds me... - Whoa!
...of my dear, departed Guhmeemama.
[Doofus' parents] Guhmeemama...
The only parent I've ever known.
Why does he hurt me?
You know why.
[sniffing]
- Unfortunately, there are filthy liars in our midst... -[guests gasp]
- [gasp] - ...only after my gift bags!
[ominous music playing]
Percival P. Peppington!
[sniffing]
[gasp] He can smell lies!
Percival, you disappoint me.
If you're going to hire an actor
to pretend to be your son,
at least hire a child actor.
Hey! I got range!
[nervously] This is some mix-up.
I must have left my real son in the car!
I'll go get him!
Aah!
Would you like to see my Honey Bin?
Don't you mean "Money Bin"?
No.
- [buzzer] - Aaaah!
- Whoa! Oh! - [Percival screaming, bees buzzing]
Eee! Oooh!
Whoaa!
So. Many. Liars!
Oh, man, everyone was pulling the same con as us!
And we're the last ones standing.
Not exactly.
[slap]
Uh, Sharkbomb, my boy, meet Doofus.
[high-pitched voice] Get off my back, Dad!
Huh?
[nervously] Uhh...
Your blank stare is soothing.
[Glomgold muttering in pain]
That's an awful lot of competition.
Maybe you should keep your distance, sharpie.
No way. This is perfect.
We expose the others as phonies to gain Doofus' trust,
then get out of here with their leftover bags before we're exposed.
Ambitious. Dangerously overconfident.
Let's do it.
- Mark Beaks, meet my grandma... -[slap]
Ow. Super young Aunt Goldie, and, uh...
Wait, since when do you have a kid?
Since I realized how many likes Family Pics get online.
Selfieburst!
Digida-digida-digida digida-dah!
[muttering, gasps]
- Hi, I'm Boyd! - Aah!
Uh, sure, you are.
Yeah I love this... What was it again?
Uh, uh... son!
Anyways, look at all the cool stuff we did yesterday.
Oh! Family memories.
[whimpering]
[kiss]
[cooing]
Mmm, mwah.
Aye, what loving parent
wouldn't keep a photo of his kin handy?
[hip-hop music playing]
Goldie, was it?
Oop!
You must have pics of your "nephew."
Uhh, ah...
- Of course I do. - [photo booth clicking]
They're right here in my purse?
The question is which one?
Because I love him so much, how can I choose just one?
So... I have four.
Look at that roguish twinkle in his eye.
[ominous music playing]
That's nice.
[claps]
Pool time!
Not bad.
Now we go on the offense.
Tell me, who's our first mark?
Sharkbomb! Get in the pool, you wee whippersnapper!
Don't tell me what to do, old man!
Old man?!
Can an old man do this?!
Aaak! Unh!
- Him. - Definitely him.
Steady. Steady.
The fate of the Dereznaroth rests in your hands.
Water too much and you risk drowning the root system!
- [whooshing] - A checkpoint!
You could cash in all the experience points
you have from bashing grindhoppers,
level up and really start playing this game!
Nah, if I step outside the shield, I could die
and lose all my XP.
Whoa! With that much XP,
you could be the Duke of Destruction!
Too dangerous. I mean,
the checkpoint's way over there.
[Launchpad] Woo-hoo!
I'm the master of the sky!
Look at me go! I'm surprising myself!
- This is amazing! - Perfect!
I mean, oh, no!
We should help Launchpad fight that Defragon!
Eh, too risky.
But if you want to, go ahead.
Really? All right, here I go.
[shield whirs]
Facing off against the dangerous monster!
[blasting]
Ahh! That was easy,
even though it seemed scary!
And now, I can level up!
[footsteps beeping]
What a great life lesson!
[beeping]
[Della and Launchpad] Whoo! Jetpacks!
[Launchpad laughs]
[camera clicking]
[screaming in pain]
[groaning]
Hey, Flintheart, can I speak to Sharkbomb in private for a second?
Oh, uh, certainly.
[deep breath]
Sharkbomb, can I tell you a secret?
[Glomgold blubbering underwater]
Great. I think my aunt has the hots for your dad.
She does?!
I mean...
[high-pitched voice] ...as if!
Ewww! Barf-o-rama!
You're making me look like a fool!
You don't need my help, geezer!
Aah!
[dramatic music playing]
[Glomgold screaming]
Ha haa!
Huh?
[licking]
[nervous chuckle]
Aah!
Don't let go, Sharkbomb!
[high-pitched] Don't tell me what to do!
[bees buzzing]
Ohh. Pretty sharp, sharpie.
You're a natural.
- Those gift bags are as good... - Yah!
Aah! Oh!
Ever so sorry!
I mean, hashtag you're all wet.
Pewpew! Pewpewpewpew!
Ugh. They're going down.
Oh, yes.
[gentle music playing]
The garden is tended.
Now the greatest adventure of all: waiting.
[blades clanking]
[creature growling]
- Hah! - Aah!
[Huey, gasping] The Blaser Scythe.
No. No fighting.
Mm! Mmmmmm!
Ooh, huh?!
Hey, Mom?
I was thinking,
I should step out of my comfort zone.
Maybe... head to the checkpoint?
Really? Yeah!
Mother and son against the GigaSwarm!
Will we survive?!
Naah!
Yes, of course we will.
It's right over there.
[chiming]
Okay, buddy, you got this.
Every journey begins with a single step.
I got this, I got this, I got this,
I got this, I got this, I got this, I got this.
[gasps]
[blasting]
Raaarrr!
My rutabagas!
Typically your step would be in the other direction!
[Huey] I should never try anything new!
[mechanical clicking]
[Boyd] It's like the machine speaks to me.
Is that strange?
What dirt have you dug up on Boyd?
I got nothing.
He's friendly, he's freakishly strong,
and he gets along weirdly well with Doofus.
There's gotta be some weak spot.
Something in their history?
All I have found are hundreds of photos
of them being perfect together.
Wait. Where are the baby pictures?
Beaks would never pass up that sweet clickbait.
Click what now?
What's this weird Wi-Fi network?
"Beaks Optimistic Youth Droid"?
[gasps] Oh! B-O-Y-D! Boyd!
[both] He's a robot!
How are we supposed to trip up a boy-bot
who's programmed to be perfect?
Get close, don't get caught.
Do you know how many evil robots I've faced?
[laughing]
Too many.
[pinball machine clanging]
Wow, Boyd, you said you've only been playing since yesterday?
Yes! Daddy took me to Funzo's,
and we played all the games,
and then had ice cream and flew kites!
Big day! [laughs]
What did you do two days ago?
[laughs]
I... I can't seem to remember.
[circuits zapping]
Why can't I remember?!
I dunno, sport.
Uh, maybe it was all that ice cream, huh?
- [zap] - [Louie gasps]
- [zapping] - What's wrong with my friend?
Is it something my butler did?
[gasps] Ohh!
No-no-no-no. Noooooo!
I think he's a little over-stimulated.
We'll have to remember that for your birthday.
Hey, when were you born again?
Yesterday!
Wait, that's not right.
No, no, no, no!
Do not peer behind the curtain of reality, bud!
Aah aah aah aah!
[static]
[beeping]
Does not compute.
Compute? No, I am not a computer!
[ding]
Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
I am definitely a real booooooy!
[powering down]
[gasps]
[Beaks] Oh, man!
I'm gonna need, like, a real big bag of rice.
- My party! - Aaaah!
No! No! No!
No! No! No! No! No!
Whoa! Ah!
Sharpie!
You conned that boy-bot right out of sentience!
Maybe we should team up on a more permanent basis.
Really? You mean it?
This looks like the beginning of a fruitful partnership.
[whimpering] I swore, after last year,
no one's eyes would melt out of their heads.
Who is responsible for this?!
Wuh-oh. We ran out of chumps to...
- He did it. - What?!
Llewellyn Duck, I am so disappointed.
Ruining poor Doofus' party,
trying to take the extra bags for yourself.
Who raised you?
Not you, lady! She is a fraud!
- Mmm mmm mmm! - Children can be so cruel.
Doofus makes us share a fork.
You march home right this instant.
And to teach you a lesson,
I'm going to take your gift bags
and donate them to charity.
[whispering] It's me.
The charity is me.
What happened to working together?
Sorry, sharpie.
I only work for myself.
I want you gone, mister!
That can be arranged.
[beeping]
[zapping, powering up]
Hi, I'm Boyd, a definitely real boy!
And I'm going to destroy you!
Aah!
Aah! Help!
You're a real boy! You're a sweet, kind, real boy! I swear!
- [Huey screams] - [thud]
Yah!
Aah! Whoa! Ow, stop!
What are you doing?!
It's piñata time.
I'm the world champion.
But I've never hunted
the most dangerous piñata... Man.
Huh! Unh!
No! Uh, tell me about your hobbies, friend!
Recharging! Syncing to other devices!
Aah! No!
[screaming]
Nooo!
No-no-no-no-no!
Stop!
[powering down]
You've passed the test.
What a loving parent.
Willing to sacrifice herself for such a foul child.
You've given me a great birthday gift, Llewellyn...
A new Guhmeemama!
I'm sorry, what?
Long reign Goldiemama.
Goldiemama.
Take thine bags and go!
- [gasps] - What?!
Aaaaah!
Aah! Oh!
[Huey] Aaaaaah! All my crops!
This is my nightmare!
- [roars] - Rrraaahh!
Unh! Hup!
Oh! Huey! Help!
No! Mom! I'm not strong enough!
[creature growls]
[Della straining]
Yet.
[beeping]
His power level, it's over 9,000!
Make way for the Duke!
Yeah!
Get away from my mom!
[Huey shouting]
Aaah yah!
Yaaah!
Whoa! Well, at least he's out of his comfort zone.
[grunting]
[laughing]
I did it! I'm a millionaire!
Woo-hooo!
Who's the sharpie now, Goldie?
I'm out here, rich.
And you're in there,
suffering who knows what unspeakable horrors.
[somber music playing]
After you turned on me...
saved my life...
which was probably part of her big con somehow!
She broke her own rules.
She got too close, she got caught.
She's on her own!
Tell me a story, Goldiemama!
[Doofus' parents] Goldiemama.
Well, this one time, I was trapped
in a dimension where imps jabbed me
with a million tiny splinters
as they whispered my most devastating failures in my ear.
This is worse.
[laughs] Good one! Tell me another!
[bang, door creaks]
Party's over, Doofus.
Yah!
Give me my "aunt" back.
She's mine, you hear?!
Raaah!
Minions!
"Parents." Attack!
But, how?!
Guess what you dropped in the gift bags?
[whirring]
See, I don't think you need a Guhmeemama.
- Guhmeema... - Knock it off.
I think you need someone
your own age to get close to.
Happy birthday, Doofus.
I got you a new baby brother.
He's only a day old.
Mommy? Daddy?
Come here... son.
Mmm!
No! No! You will obey me!
I'll cut off your money!
Don't worry.
I'll transfer half of Guhmeemama's money
out of Doofus' account and into mine.
After all, she was my Guhmeemama, too!
What?! No!
She was my Guhmeemama.
[whispers] Guhmeemama.
Mine.
You sentimental toaster!
Don't you speak to your brother that way.
You're grounded. Indefinitely.
[gasps]
He's not even my brother!
I'm... free.
I'll get you for this, Llewellyn Duck!
Oh, give it time.
If you get close enough to someone,
they start to feel like family.
Right, Goldie...
- The gift bags?! - [creaking]
Aaaaah!
- Hah! - [punches landing]
Yah!
I will destroy you! Aah!
Huey! It's done! You slayed it!
Huey! This is far enough out of your comfort zone!
You're in too deep!
I got in too deep!
I had the money!
I was in the clear!
[sobbing]
"Crocodile's Waterworks"?
Goldie.
Ah.
I'd say you get used to it, but that'd be a lie.
I thought I found someone who really got me.
We had a connection.
When you spend all your time looking for an angle,
it's hard to see what's in front of your face.
And that doesn't make her too sharp, eh, lad?
But why did she save me?
Maybe she let you get close, too.
[sighs]
Sync corrections by srjanapala
[Theme music playing]
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