"LIFE IS LIKE A HURRICANE"
"HERE IN DUCKBURG"
"RACE CARS, LASERS, AEROPLANES"
"IT'S A DUCK BLUR"
"MIGHT SOLVE A MYSTERY"
"OR REWRITE HISTORY"
"DUCK TALES"
"OOH OOH OOH"
"EVERY DAY THEY'RE OUT THERE MAKING DUCK TALES"
"OOH OOH OOH"
"TALES OF DERRING-DO"
"BAD AND GOOD LUCK TALES"
"D-D-D-DANGER"
"WATCH BEHIND YOU"
"THERE'S A STRANGER OUT TO FIND YOU"
"WHAT TO DO? JUST GRAB ONTO SOME DUCK TALES"
"OOH OOH OOH"
"EVERY DAY THEY'RE OUT THERE MAKING DUCK TALES"
"OOH OOH OOH"
"TALES OF DERRING-DO"
"BAD AND GOOD LUCK TALES"
"OOH OOH OOH"
"NOT PONYTAILS"
"OR COTTONTAILS"
"NO, DUCK TALES"
"OOH OOH OOH"
BURGER, SHUT THE REFRIGERATOR.
BIG TIME, STOP LEAVING GUNPOWDER WHERE I CAN STEP IN IT.
MOM'S ON THE RAMPAGE.
YEAH, A-A-AND SHE'S MAD, TOO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LICKING UP THE EXTRA BATTER.
THE CAKE'S NOT POURED YET.
HOW WILL I SPRING BOUNCER FROM THE SLAMMER
WITHOUT ENOUGH BATTER TO COVER THE FILE?
YOU'VE SURE BEEN ON EDGE LATELY.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT,
LIVING IN THIS RAT SHACK ALL THESE YEARS?
I READ ABOUT THE WONDERFUL LIVES
OF OTHER MOTHERS
IN BETTER HOMES AND JAIL CELLS.
WHY NOT ME?
IF MY BOYS WERE BRIGHTER,
THEIR MOTHER'S LIFE WOULDN'T BE SO DIM.
WE'LL DO BETTER.
WE PROMISE.
START BY GETTING THE FROSTING MIX.
IT'S IN THE PANTRY NEXT TO THE NITRO.
SORRY. - SORRY. - SORRY.
STOP AT THE BAKERY, DUCKWORTH.
YES, MASTER HUEY.
I BRAKE FOR CAKE.
COME ON, UNCLE SCROOGE.
YOU GOT TO BUY MRS. BEAKLEY A CAKE.
IF IT'S HER BIRTHDAY,
LET HER BUY IT.
UNCLE SCROOGE, HOW CAN YOU BE SO CHEAP?
LOTS OF PRACTICE.
HE'D LIKE TO BUY A CHOCOLATE BIRTHDAY CAKE.
A VERY LOW-COST CAKE,
SOMETHING A DAY OR TWO OLD.
I HAVE THIS THREE-TIERED HEAVENLY CHOCOLATE
WITH CHERRY JUBILEE FROSTING,
ALL FOR A MERE $15.
YA-HO!
CHOCOLATE AND CHERRY, HER FAVORITE.
YIPPEE!
HOW ABOUT SOMETHING A LITTLE OLDER...
I MEAN CHEAPER.
WELL, HERE'S LAST WEEK'S GENERIC SPECIAL,
MARKED DOWN TO TWO BUCKS.
HOW MUCH WITHOUT FROSTING?
UNCLE SCROOGE, YOU CAN'T.
THAT CAKE'S IN AWFUL SHAPE.
SO'S MRS. BEAKLEY.
I'LL TAKE IT.
[CAR BACKFIRES]
KEEP THE MOTOR RUNNING WHILE I ROB THIS JOINT.
PIECE OF CAKE. LITERALLY.
HERE YOU GO.
I HOPE YOUR WIFE ENJOYS IT.
I'M NOT MARRIED.
REALLY? WHY NOT?
MY WIFE WOULD OWN HALF MY FORTUNE.
IF SHE DIVORCED ME, SHE'D TAKE HALF OF IT.
MY FORTUNE'S MINE ALONE.
WANT TO BET?
THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE OF PLANS.
YOUR MOTHER'S ABOUT TO ENTER
THE STATE OF MATRIMONY.
HMM. IS THAT THE STATE NEAR MINNISOTY?
THIS BIRTHDAY BUSINESS IS GETTING COSTLY.
BUT MRS. BEAKLEY LOVES FLOWERS.
OK, BIG TIME.
READY WITH THAT CAMERA YOU STOLE?
READY, MA.
MAY I HELP YOU?
HE'D LIKE SOME FLOWERS.
DO YOU HAVE WILTED FLOWERS DISCOUNTED?
UNCLE, CUT IT OUT!
HERE, UNCLE SCROOGE.
THESE FLOWERS LOOK REAL NICE.
HOW MUCH FOR THESE?
$20, SIR.
FOR THESE RAGWEEDS?
WHAT ABOUT THESE?
$15.
BE SERIOUS. ARE THESE MARIGOLDS MADE OF REAL GOLD?
HOW MUCH ARE SEEDS?
75 CENTS.
FINE.
MRS. BEAKLEY WOULD RATHER GROW
HER OWN FLOWERS ANYWAY.
WAIT. HERE'S A CARD SHOP.
SHE DOESN'T NEED A BIRTHDAY CARD.
YES, SHE DOES! STOP!
COME ON, UNCLE SCROOGE.
THIS IS THE LAST STOP, WE PROMISE.
THIS ONE'LL DO.
IT'S MARKED DOWN. 15 CENTS.
"HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO MY WEIGHT-LIFTING BROTHER-IN-LAW?"
[CUCKOO]
WE'LL CROSS THAT OUT.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE LIGHTS?
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
SPENDING ALL THIS MONEY IS GETTING TO ME.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
THE SURPRISE ON HER FACE.
OH, DEAR, OH, DEAR, OH, DEAR!
SEE? WE TOLD YOU NOT TO BE SO CHEAP.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU BOUGHT.
I'LL EXPLAIN THE CARD.
IT'S NOT THAT EITHER.
IT'S... IT'S HER!
HELLO, HUBBY.
GOT A KISS FOR YOUR BRIDE?
MY WHAT?
THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN.
WHAT? GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE.
IF YOU THROW ME OUT,
I'M DIVORCING YOU AND TAKING HALF OF EVERYTHING YOU OWN.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS. WE'RE NOT MARRIED.
NEVER HAVE BEEN. NEVER WILL BE.
OH, YEAH? THAT'S FOR THE JUDGE TO DECIDE.
SEE YOU IN COURT.
OOH! WHAT'S SHE UP TO NOW?
OH!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MRS. BEAKLEY.
ALL RISE. THE HONORABLE JUSTICE B. FAIR PRESIDING.
WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH QUICKLY.
THIS WOMAN IS NOT MY WIFE.
IT'S THAT BAD ATTITUDE OF YOURS
THAT'S MADE THIS SUCH A ROTTEN MARRIAGE.
WHAT MARRIAGE?
YOU HAVE PROOF, MRS. McDUCK?
DON'T SAY THAT.
CERTAINLY. HERE WE ARE ON OUR WEDDING DAY.
AND THE TWO OF US SO IN LOVE
HONEYMOONING AT NIAGARA FALLS.
IMPOSSIBLE. I WOULD HAVE PUSHED YOU OVER THE FALLS.
A FAMILY PORTRAIT.
FROM A POST OFFICE WALL!
AND HERE'S OUR MARRIAGE LICENSE.
AS PHONY AS HER SMILE.
IS HE A LOUSE FOR A SPOUSE?
I'VE TRIED TO BE A GOOD HOUSEWIFE, BUT IT'S HOPELESS.
I WANT A DIVORCE.
I'M ASKING HALF OUR FORTUNE.
NEVER! I'D STAY MARRIED BEFORE GIVING THAT UP!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU NEVER WERE MARRIED.
HE'S TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON YOU.
NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY.
CONSIDERING THE EVIDENCE,
I HEREBY DECLARE YOU DUCK AND WIFE.
COURT ADJOURNED.
RIGHT. MARRIED. AS MY LAWYER,
I EXPECT YOU TO DO SOMETHING.
NO, WE DON'T WANT WEDDING GIFTS.
MR. McDUCK, COME QUICK!
WE'VE BEEN INVADED!
A LITTLE TO THE LEFT. NO, HIGHER.
THERE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
HANGING UP YOUR PRESENT.
WHAT PRESENT?
FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.
DON'T WORRY. IT ONLY SET YOU BACK $300,000.
OUT! OUT! OUT!
OK, I'M LEAVING ANYWAY...
WITH THE CREDIT CARDS I TOOK OUT
FOR MRS. SCROOGE McDUCK.
I'LL SHOP TILL YOU DROP.
HA HA HA HA!
UNCLE SCROOGE!
THE BEAGLE BOYS ARE BUSTING OUR BUNKS!
GET OUT OF HERE!
HEY, THAT'S MY BUNK!
CAN I HAVE THE TOP BUNK, DADDY?
NO. AND DON'T CALL ME DADDY.
OK, POP. HOW ABOUT THE KEYS TO THE LIMO?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
I GOT A DATE.
I'D RATHER NOT HOT-WIRE IT.
[CRASH]
WHAT WAS THAT?
OH. JUST A WINDOW.
WE'S PLAYING BASEBALL.
IN THE HOUSE? WITH A MING VASE?
THAT'S $10,000.
UH-OH. IT'S 10,000 PIECES NOW.
OOH! OOH! OOH!
AH, ME.
MAYBE WHEN I WAKE UP
THIS NIGHTMARE WILL BE OVER.
GOOD NIGHT, SCROOGIE.
GOOD NIGHT, DEAR.
AAH!
YOU'RE IN MY BED!
WHERE SHOULD I BE, THE GARAGE?
AYE. AT SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE.
SORRY, SCROOGIE, BUT YOUR POOPSIE IS POOPED.
Play one of the best new FPS shooters, search Steam for PROJECT WARLOCK
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
YES, SIR?
DUCKWORTH, COULD THE WORLD'S RICHEST DUCK
SLEEP IN THE SERVANT'S QUARTERS WITH YOU?
OPEN UP! IT'S MY TURN TO TAKE A BATH!
BUT, DADA, WE'S PLAYING BATTLESHIP.
[HUMMING POPEYE THEME]
"BUM BUM BUM"
"RAT-A-TAT-TAT"
POW, POW, POW.
WHOA! - AAH!
OH, HO, HO, HO.
OH! - OH!
AAH!
LOOK WHAT THE TIDE ROLLED IN.
YOU'D BETTER STOP GOING SHOPPING.
NO, I'M JUST TAKING OUR BOY TO LUNCH
AT A FRENCH RESTAURANT...
IN PARIS.
PARIS!
I'D SKIP DESSERT IF YOU'D SIGN THE DIVORCE PAPERS.
FORGET IT.
TODAY MY LAWYER WILL DECIDE
HOW TO PULVERIZE THIS ROCKY MARRIAGE.
THE COURT SAYS
MA BEAGLE PORTRAYED HERSELF
AS A HARDWORKING HOUSEWIFE.
THE ONLY THING SHE'S EVER DUSTED WERE HER FINGERPRINTS.
PROVE THAT SHE LIED,
AND I'LL PERSUADE THE JUDGE TO RECONSIDER THE CASE.
I SEE.
MAYBE IT'S TIME I ASKED MY HOUSEWIFE TO DO SOME HOUSEWORK.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR.
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE AREN'T EASY.
[ROOSTER CROWS]
FIVE MORE MINUTES, WARDEN!
UH... WH-WHAT?
TIME TO MAKE THE BOYS' BREAKFAST,
PACK THEIR LUNCHES, AND CLEAN THE MANSION.
HUH? WELL, HAVE CHUBBY CHINS DO IT.
MRS. BEAKLEY? OH, CAN'T.
IT'S HER DAY OFF.
ARE YOU OFF YOUR ROCKER?
IT'S 4:00 A.M.!
YOU SLEPT IN.
I'LL EXPECT YOU UP EARLIER FROM NOW ON.
BOMBS AWAY!
[SPLASH]
OH!
MORNING, MOMMY.
LOOK. YOU'RE ALL WET.
AW, DON'T WORRY. WE'LL DRY YOU OFF.
[COUGH COUGH COUGH]
TURN THAT VACUUM OFF, YOU BRATS!
VERY IMPRESSIVE, LADS.
MRS. McDUCK.
THE MISTER WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO
A LITTLE IRONING THIS MORNING.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
WHERE IS IT?
THERE.
WHOA!
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH SPRAY STARCH IN THE STATE.
FINISH BY DINNERTIME.
DID I MENTION I'M BRINGING HOME DINNER GUESTS?
YOU ARE? HOW MANY?
60.
OOH.
SCROOGE THINKS HE'S CLEVER,
BUT I CAN STEAMROLL THAT OLD COOT ANYTIME.
"I GOT THE DUSTY WINDOW WAXY-BUILD-UP BLUES"
HI, MA. HOW ABOUT A SNACK?
AND SPOIL YOUR APPETITE FOR DINNER?
MA!
QUIET, GOON. CAN'T YOU SEE I'M CLEANING THE CHANDELIER?
BOY. MA'S REALLY GETTING INTO THIS HOUSEWIFE STUFF.
YEAH, SHE'S A REGULAR BETTY CROOKER.
I WONDER HOW THE BATTLE-AX DID.
BET EVERYTHING IS IN WORSE SHAPE THAN...
OH!
DON'T TELL ME SHE ACTUALLY CLEANED.
IN HER FASHION.
AND THE IRONING?
DONE, THOUGH YOU MAY BE STEAMED WHEN YOU SEE IT.
WHAT ABOUT DINNER?
LOVEBUCKS, YOU'RE HOME.
WHERE ARE THE GUESTS?
I COOKED ENOUGH SLOP
TO STUFF - THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT.
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS.
IT WAS TOUGH, BUT I CAUGHT ON.
I FEEL LIKE ONE OF THOSE WOMEN IN GOOD SPOUSEKEEPING.
HOUSEWORK HAS FULFILLED ME
LIKE NO BANK HEIST EVER COULD.
GOOD EVENING, UNCLE SCROOGE.
GOOD EVENING, DADA. GOOD EVENING, DADA.
OH, JUST LOOK AT US.
WE'RE ONE BIG HAPPY BEAGLE BUNCH.
DON'T I GET A KISS GOODBYE?
I'D RATHER KISS SHAMU THE WHALE.
HURRY HOME.
TONIGHT'S THE FATHER CROWS BEST FAMILY REUNION.
IT'LL BE QUALITY TIME TOGETHER.
GOSH. I AIN'T NEVER SEEN DADDY SCROOGIE SO M-M-MISERABLE.
FORGET ABOUT SCROOGIE. I'M MISERABLE!
MA'S GONE OVERBOARD WITH THIS MOTHERHOOD STUFF.
YEAH. SHE'S EVEN MAKING ME WATCH
IN-BETWEEN MEAL TREATS.
I HATE IT!
I JUST HATE IT!
BURGER, WHY DON'T YOU RECITE POETRY TO OUR HAPPY FAMILY?
AHEM.
ROSES IS RED,
VIOLETS IS BLUE,
MISERY LOVES COMPANY,
THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE WITH YOU.
OH, WASN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL?
WE SHOULD HAVE A FAMILY PICTURE
TO REMEMBER THIS TREASURED MOMENT.
I'LL GET THE CAMERA.
BE BACK IN A FLASH.
GET IT? FLASH?
WAIT.
STOP. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
ONE MORE PRECIOUS FAMILY MOMENT
AND I MAY UPCHUCK. I QUIT.
ME, TOO.
US, THREE.
WAIT. YOU BOYS CANNOT QUIT. YOU'RE FAMILY.
WANT TO BET?
WHEN MRS. BEAKLEY GOES, WE GO. RIGHT?
RIGHT.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, DADDY SCROOGIE?
YEAH. NOTHING PERSONAL,
BUT WE HATES LIVING HERE.
THE FEELING'S MUTUAL,
BUT YOUR MOTHER'S HERE TILL DEATH DO US PART...
WHICH GIVES ME A PERFECTLY DEMENTED IDEA.
OH, THOSE ARE OUR FAVORITE KIND.
WHOSE TURN IS IT TO DO DISHES?
EH... BURGER'S.
I BROKE THEM LAST NIGHT.
YOU DO IT.
DADDY SAID I DON'T HAVE TO!
BOYS, BOYS!
WHERE'D YOUR FATHER RUN TO?
TO SWIM IN HIS MONEY.
YOU'RE RIGHT. AIN'T HE CUTE IN THAT LITTLE OUTFIT?
OOH, SHOULDN'T HE HAVE WAITED AN HOUR
AFTER EATING YOUR DUMPLINGS?
HELP! HELP!
UH, UH, UH, HE'S IN TROUBLE.
[GURGLING]
TREAD MONEY, HONEYBUCKS!
SOMEBODY CALL A PARAMEDIC!
CALL A SINGLE MEDIC, IF YOU HAVE TO.
THEY'VE COMBED THE ENTIRE SURFACE, MA'AM.
IT LOOKS HOPELESS.
OH, NO. DON'T TELL ME. YOU MEAN...
HE'S GONE TO THAT BIG BEN IN THE SKY.
NO! YOU MEAN...
ALL THIS LOOT IS MINE?
OH, HOW CAN YOU THINK OF MONEY RIGHT NOW?
I'M NOT JUST THINKING MONEY.
I'M THINKING OF THE MANSION.
THE LIMO!
THE GOLD MINES!
WE MAY HAVE LOST OUR NEW FATHER,
BUT OUR OLD MOTHER'S BACK.
YOU'LL HAVE TO COME DOWN TO HEADQUARTERS, MRS. McDUCK.
WHY?
QUESTIONING. THIS SMELLS OF FOUL PLAY.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
IT'S THE OLDEST CRIME IN THE BOOK...
WIFE BUMPS OFF HUSBAND TO COLLECT FORTUNE.
HOW COULD YOU?
LET'S GO.
WAIT!
YOU CAN'T BLAME ME.
I'M NOT HIS WIFE.
I NEVER MARRIED THE OLD COOT.
THE WORDS I'VE WAITED TO HEAR.
OH! - OH! - OH!
HE'S ALIVE!
DID YOU GET IT?
EVERY LAST SYLLABLE.
OH!
HOW DARE YOU BE ALIVE?
HOW DARE YOU PRETEND TO BE MY WIFE?
TAKE HER AWAY, OFFICER.
BUT, SCROOGIE, WHAT ABOUT ALL THE TENDER MOMENTS WE SHARED?
DIDN'T THEY MEAN ANYTHING?
AYE. I MUST ADMIT THEY DID.
THEY MADE ME REALIZE
I'M A CONFIRMED BACHELOR TO THE END!
DON'T WORRY, MA.
WE'LL GET YOU OUT.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CAKE?
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