[Della] 'Twas the night before Christmas,
when all through the house,
old Scrooge laid barbed wire, about Santa he groused.
Armed to the teeth 'gainst the treetotaling traitor,
that roof‐climbing, two‐timing winter invader.
Can we please read the normal version of this poem?
Where Santa arrives on the roof with such a clatter?
That man is not allowed in our home.
He knows what he did.
But we don't.
The less you know, the better.
‐You don't know, do you? ‐[loud thump]
‐[all gasp] ‐[all] Such a clatter.
He's breached the perimeter. To battle!
[grunts]
[gasps]
He's beautiful.
Every year that present peddling prowler
tries to step his sooty boot on my roof,
and every year he fails.
Why do you hate him so much?
He seems like a good guy.
Hold your treacherous tongue!
An enemy of Scrooge is an enemy of ours!
You don't need that charlatan.
I'm the richest duck in the world,
and I always get you great gifts.
[all groan]
Ooh!
You could not have found an itchier fabric.
I think you mean, "Wow, Uncle Scrooge,
thank you for the very practical gift."
What do you want? A cell phone you don't need?
A trampoline?
Some sort of video graphical game?
‐Yes! ‐They're called video games.
[doorbell rings]
Probably a bunch of carolers spreading lies.
Let's go silence their night.
Nothing can distract us from protecting the house against...
Claus.
Scrooge.
‐[all cheering] ‐It's him, it's really him!
‐Merry... ‐[gasps]
[whimpers]
‐...Christmas... ‐[Webby] Get down!
[all gasp]
♪ Life is like a candy cane ♪
♪ Here in Duckburg ♪
♪ Snowflakes, presents Santa's sleigh ♪
♪ It's a duck blur ♪
♪ Might make bells jingle ♪
♪ Or trap Kris Kringle ♪
♪ DuckTales ♪
♪ Christmas Eve We're out there ♪
♪ Making DuckTales ♪
♪ Tales of Christmas past ♪
♪ And Yuletide luck tales ♪
How are you able to fly around the world in one night?
How many cookies can you fit in your mouth at once?
How much would it cost to get bumped up on the Nice List?
When are you leaving?
Ho, ho, ho!
What a rambunctious bunch, brimming with holiday spirit.
Bah, humbug.
I've been lugging these around.
Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby.
Um, I prefer my hat.
The itching means it's functional.
"The Legends of Legendquest II"?
[screams]
You already have a cellular phone.
But now I can sell this one and keep the cash.
Best Christmas ever!
Out. You've already stolen enough from me.
You want to turn my nephews against me as well?
Please, Scrooge, not in front of the children.
Santa stole something from Uncle Scrooge?
That doesn't sound like Santa.
Yes, it does.
What did you steal from Scrooge?
Christmas.
[all gasp]
That's right.
His whole racket was my idea,
but this glory‐hound kept it all for himself.
We don't have time for this.
I have a sack of undelivered toys,
a busted leg, and no other options.
Scroogey, with your belt so tight,
won't you fly my sleigh tonight?
[sighs] I see.
Prancer said you wouldn't understand.
[all] The reindeer are here?
I'll just take my sack full of toys
and hope the children are okay
with Christmas coming late this year.
‐Oh, no! ‐We're children.
We will not be okay with that.
Come on, Uncle Scrooge.
You got to help Santa save Christmas.
[Santa whimpering]
Enough of the sad sack routine.
We don't want what you're selling.
But I know the one thing you truly want for Christmas.
Oh, by gosh, by golly.
Spit it out already, Kringle!
If you help me,
I promise to never come around here ever again.
You'll save a fortune on traps.
[grumbles]
Come on, you sanctimonious solstice swindler.
I cannae believe you talked me into this again.
‐[all gasp] ‐Again?
It was a long time ago.
‐[wind gusting] ‐[knock on door]
Buy some coal, you blaggart!
I got it. You need it.
So buy it already so I can come in.
It's freezing out here.
Ugh! Curse me kilts.
[Santa, strained] ♪ Jingle bells ♪
[shivers]
♪ Jingle bells ♪
♪ J‐J‐Jingle all the way ♪
[grunts]
Oi.
What the blazes are you doing out here
in this deep freeze?
Why, I'm delivering toys
to help get people through the winter,
by warming their hearts.
‐Ho, ho... ‐[wind gusts]
Oh! It's so cold.
You cannae warm any hearts if yours is an icicle.
Come on, Mister...
Santa. Santa Claus.
Scrooge McDuck.
Don't bother. These people are the meanest,
least hospitable bunch of‐‐
[Santa] I beg your pardon, miss.
I'm trying to spread a little joy this season.
Not to put you out, but I don't suppose
you'd trade a moment's warmth and a good cup of cheer
for a gift or two?
Oh, he's with me.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one‐horse open sleigh ♪
‐♪ Hey ♪ ‐[wind gusts]
Sorry, fun's over. Fire's gone out.
‐But I'm so cold. ‐Stupid fire.
Oh, friends, what luck.
My fine fellow here has all the coal you'll need
to warm your homes and hearts.
[all cheer]
Any friend of Santa's is a friend of mine.
How much coal you got?
Uh, I suppose enough for all of you, if you‐‐
And do you deliver? I live very far away.
Uh, how far, exactly?
Why, Scrooge can deliver to everyone in the world!
At some point this winter.
By Christmas morning!
[all cheer]
Christmas morning? That's 20 days from now.
How am I going to deliver all this coal to everyone in time?
Don't worry, I'll help.
What are friends for?
Forget friends. How about partners?
Why can't it be both?
Ho, ho!
[Webby] What? Scrooge doesn't have any friends.
‐Dibs on Comet. ‐Cupid.
Donner. No wait, Blitzen.
Oh, they're all so cute!
Get away from those roof wreckers.
You boys are not going.
You're too susceptible to his charms.
She licked my face!
The only one allowed on this mission is Webby.
It's my honor to protect you
from this stocking‐stuffing stooge.
‐That's not fair! ‐You are ruining Christmas!
Hmm. Checking this twice, I see some good boys
that are working their way up the Nice List.
That's us. He's talking about us.
[Santa] If they behave tonight,
they might get an extra gift in the morning.
‐Who will? ‐Us!
‐Right! ‐[all laugh]
‐[whip cracks] ‐[whinnies]
[Scrooge] Come on, Webby.
Time to save Christmas for this North Poltroon.
[Santa] Ha! Good one, Scrooge.
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
♪ One a one‐horse Open sleigh ♪
♪ Over the fields we go ♪
♪ Laughing all the way ♪
♪ Oh ♪
A gift for your gay-self? Get a Gay Pack at www.nextgaything.com
Some kids may fall for your whole
"magic of Christmas" routine,
but you can't buy old Webby with...
‐[toy squeaks] ‐...a doll, or...
a peach candle, or...
[gasps] ...a Thunderhawk Elite Compound Crossbow with titanium arrows?
Who's this for?
Check the tag.
Oh!
Heh, there's nothing quite like the joy
of a child on Christmas to keep you warm on the coldest night.
Webby's too savvy to fall for your tricks, Claus.
Oh, I'm not at all excited about this.
Wait, Rome again?
I deliver the gifts in alphabetical order.
Why don't you do it by country?
Oh, that would be more practical.
We're running out of time to save Christmas!
‐Uh, well, not that I care. ‐Don't you worry.
We have all the time we need thanks to...
[Scrooge] The Feliz Navidiamond.
A legendary gem that can slow time for one night a year.
Got this off a Spanish sailor who traded it for coal.
I thought it was just a myth.
Deck my halls.
We slow time and deliver all the coal in one night.
So where is this Feliz Navidiamond?
[Scrooge] In there.
Cascabel Cavern.
We just have to survive Los Renos Voladores.
[Santa] What do you think that translates to?
[whinnying and grunting]
Flying reindeer!
[snorts]
[grunting]
Stop wasting time and help me!
Wait, how are you doing that?
‐Jingle bells. ‐Jingle bells?
Jingle all the way.
[grunts]
Please, Scrooge, can we keep them?
‐Please, please, please. ‐Of course you keep the reindeer.
They've got two horns worth of deadly efficiency.
Right? It's a staple of Christmas.
Well, it wasn't back then.
And why do you care, Webbigail?
[clears throat]
Flying reindeer do nothing for me.
[snorts]
[whispering] It's not true.
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
♪ On a one‐horse Open sleigh ♪
♪ Over the fields we go ♪
♪ Laughing all the way ♪
♪ Oh, jingle bells Jingle bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride On a one‐horse open sleigh ♪
Hundreds of cutthroat beagles,
and I'm sticking my neck out for the one on the Nice List.
[sighs]
I knew I was a good boy.
‐[both gasp] ‐Everyone!
Santa's here to give us all gifts!
‐[all yawn] ‐Why get one gift
when we can get all the gifts?
‐[all laugh] ‐Back! Back!
‐[bells jingling] ‐[all] Huh?
Ho, ho, hold on!
[all grunt]
Take that, you naughty knaves!
Wait. No!
[both laughing]
I saved you. Now we're even.
[Scrooge] Oh, please, there's no comparison.
Ah‐ha!
Oh, Tannenbaum.
There it is.
Easy.
Don't want to cross the guardian.
The guardian?
[roars]
Oh! He doesn't seem so bad.
Don't be naive.
That thing will kill you.
Not if I kill it first...
with kindness.
[stammers and grunts]
[growling]
Beg your pardon, my good Snowman.
In the spirit of Christmas,
what say you hand me the Feliz Navidiamond
for this delightful gift?
Whoa!
Someone just made the Naughty List.
[roars]
[reindeer whinnies]
‐[bells jingle] ‐[Scrooge] Jingle all the way!
[roars]
Eat coal, Frosty.
That is a much better plan.
[grunts]
[roars]
[laughs]
[grunts]
[snarls]
[roars]
[gasps]
[Santa] Did I just stop time?
[Scrooge] No, you slowed it down.
We're running on Christmas Time.
We did it!
We're in business! Nothing will stop us now!
[both laugh]
I cannae believe you thought you could talk your way out of that.
Says the guy who talked the Sphinx
into a multiple‐choice riddle.
For ancient enemies, you two really get along.
Seems like old times.
Now, last house.
Thank you, Webbigail, but I've got it.
What's your angle, Claus?
You just deliver all these gifts for free,
and expect nothing out of it?
Oh, I get the greatest gift of all:
a warm heart.
The joy of giving just to give, without a thought of getting.
That's not an angle. That's Christmas.
You and Scrooge are the perfect pair:
two red‐coated mythical immortals traveling the world.
What happened?
The worst Christmas of my life.
[footsteps crunching]
♪ Jingle coal, jingle coal Jingle coal the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun to warm your home ♪
♪ For a ha'penny a day, hey ♪
[laughs]
Merry Christmas Eve.
Got the route all figured out,
and got carrots for those rapscallion reindeer.
We take flight at dawn.
‐[slurps] ‐Uh, well,
I thought maybe,
if you thought it was a good idea,
that we could go tonight
so people can wake up to a surprise on Christmas morning.
Oh, you old softy.
They cannae pay us for the coal if they're asleep.
Oh. Actually, I was kind of sort of thinking
we could give it away.
I will not participate in free handouts.
‐[all gasp] ‐But we can't charge on Christmas.
Think of it as a promotion.
A gift to warm their hearts.
We're warming their homes. Who cares about their hearts?
Me. I care.
Think practically. We're the perfect team.
I provide the coal and the know‐how.
You trick people into letting us into their homes
with your whole holly jolly "Christmas is Magic" act.
It's not an act.
A warm heart can carry you through the coldest times.
Christmas is magic.
Giving things away for free?
That's not magic, that's a terrible business plan.
We may as well give away your ridiculous toys.
Well, maybe I will.
[all gasp]
Listen, Santa,
you're my partner.
My friend.
And I don't have very many of either.
But it's your call.
It's either your Christmas thing, or me.
It'll never catch on.
What am I doing? This is crazy.
We can help.
No, no, Christmas is a sad story?
That's why I was so excited to work with Scrooge again.
There's one more gift to give after this, and it's for him.
Is it under all the other toys, or...?
All the other toys?
Wait, if the sack is still full...
What have we been delivering all night?
Oh, no.
No, no, no!
I'm sure Santa won't mind if I sneak a little peek.
Bottom of the Nice List is still the Nice List.
What the‐‐?
Wait, is this coal?
No more useless trinkets
that get played with once and tossed aside.
This year, old Scrooge is finally giving the people
what they need.
[girl shivering]
[teeth chattering]
Oh, this place is in desperate need of warmth.
[whimpering]
[gasps]
Stranger danger!
What? Oh!
Quite the right hook there.
Santa?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I thought you were a burglar.
Sneaking down a chimney in the dead of night
is quite suspect.
Next year, I recommend laying traps.
Like a snare, or more of a deadfall?
Ah‐ha! Even a good fire ought to stop them.
Here, this'll help.
What kind of toy is this?
One of our most powerful resources.
[gasps] Love?
No! Coal.
Hi, I'm Jennifer.
What's your name?
I'm Colette.
You can use that to stoke the fire
and heat things up.
‐Here. ‐No! Don't hurt Colette!
I love her so much already.
You'd love her more when she warms up this place.
‐If I could just‐‐ ‐But if you burn her,
she'll be gone forever.
What is with everyone?
When I was a poor lad,
I would've killed for a lump of coal on Christmas.
It may not be the frivolous thing you want,
but it's the practical thing you need to give you warmth
for even just one night.
And what could do that better?
A warm heart can carry you through the coldest times.
Stuff me stockings, what have I done?
‐I've got to fix this before‐‐ ‐[pounding on door]
Scrooge!
You delivered coal instead of gifts all night?
Two Santas?
Hello, Jennifer.
Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.
Here's the Eleanor Roostervelt doll you asked for.
‐Ah! ‐Who even uses coal anymore
except to tell kids they've been bad?
How could you ruin Christmas?
I ruined it?
What about him and his "broken" leg?
He's a fa‐la‐la‐la‐liar!
Oh. Yes. It hurts so much.
Why did you come to me with a fake injury?
How could you let me ruin Christmas?
Kids all over the world believe in you.
And I believe in you, Scrooge.
I thought if you saw the joy of giving away toys on Christmas,
you'd finally come around and we could be friends again.
Santa Claus was willing to risk Christmas...
Because he wanted to spend it with me.
I can't help it.
We make a great team.
[humming]
[Webby] This is heartwarming and all,
but what are we going to do?
The sun's coming up.
And the Feliz Navidiamond is almost out of power.
There's no way the sleigh can re‐deliver
all the gifts in time.
Oh, come now, where's your Christmas spirit?
You just need to think practically.
Ever heard of divide and conquer?
Delivering presents for Santa
was way better than trying to destroy him!
Whee!
Ow!
I've never crashed a flying reindeer before.
And you never will.
Whoo‐hoo!
And the last gift has been delivered.
Or should I say, Dew‐livered?
‐Please don't. ‐Oh, no.
Well, at least we saved Christmas.
Look at that. One last gift to deliver.
It better be in Duckburg, because I'm freezing up here.
Quit complaining, you greedy Glaswegian grinch.
[Scrooge] "McDuck and Claus Delivery."
You know, the sound isn't as annoying as I remember.
I got you a little something as well.
[Santa] Oh.
Cool.
Now I could open my car door from afar...
if I had a car.
Hit the button.
[alarm chirps]
The traps are off.
You're welcome at my home anytime.
Just don't come down the chimney like some creep.
And so Scrooge welcomed Santa, thus ending their fight.
‐Claiming... ‐Happy Christmas to all,
and to all a good night.
[Santa] Ho, ho! Whoa‐ho!
♪ Duckburg Christmas ♪
♪ Is a time for peace ♪
♪ And giving ♪
♪ And spreading joy to all ♪
♪ And when long‐past friends ♪
♪ Have made amends ♪
♪ Good cheer will never end ♪
♪ On Duckburg Christmas ♪
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