1 00:00:01,804 --> 00:00:04,810 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo 2 00:00:04,877 --> 00:00:08,885 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 3 00:00:08,951 --> 00:00:12,926 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo 4 00:00:12,993 --> 00:00:16,901 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 5 00:00:16,967 --> 00:00:21,009 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo 6 00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:23,514 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 7 00:00:23,581 --> 00:00:24,581 [laughs] 8 00:00:24,616 --> 00:00:25,618 Ooh! [Growls] 9 00:00:25,685 --> 00:00:27,288 - Mommy! - Aaaaaaah! 10 00:00:27,354 --> 00:00:29,225 - Duncan! - Duncan! 11 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:34,903 Okay, Dunkie, don't forget. 12 00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:36,874 Ten and two like the hands of a clock. 13 00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:38,043 The what of a what? 14 00:00:38,109 --> 00:00:40,682 Honey, kids don't know what clocks are. 15 00:00:40,748 --> 00:00:42,886 Think of it like four and one on a rotary phone. 16 00:00:42,953 --> 00:00:45,457 - Ugh! - Duncan, train! 17 00:00:45,525 --> 00:00:46,927 - [train whistle blares] - [grunts] 18 00:00:46,994 --> 00:00:49,700 - [tires squeal] - [screams] 19 00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:52,004 [all scream] 20 00:00:52,071 --> 00:00:54,610 I made eye contact with the conductor! 21 00:00:54,676 --> 00:00:56,179 Dunkie, pay attention! 22 00:00:56,245 --> 00:00:58,316 Ugh, you have so many rules. 23 00:00:58,383 --> 00:01:01,590 Look both ways, stay awake, keep your leg inside. 24 00:01:01,657 --> 00:01:03,059 [car horn blares] 25 00:01:03,126 --> 00:01:05,263 - Ugh. - You think she's tough? 26 00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:07,736 Driving with my dad was terrifying. 27 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,305 [harp strums] 28 00:01:09,372 --> 00:01:11,075 Don't use your blinker. 29 00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:12,478 They'll know where you're going. 30 00:01:12,545 --> 00:01:14,315 [tires squeal] [car horn blares] 31 00:01:14,382 --> 00:01:17,187 Take your hands off the wheel. Use your knees, damn it. 32 00:01:17,254 --> 00:01:19,693 Don't stop for that cat! [cat yowls] 33 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,699 - Sorry, kitty! - Never apologize to a cat! 34 00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:23,868 [groans] 35 00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:26,740 Of all my sperm, I can't believe you 36 00:01:26,807 --> 00:01:27,942 are the one that made it. 37 00:01:28,009 --> 00:01:29,613 [groans sadly] 38 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:30,581 [groans sadly] 39 00:01:30,648 --> 00:01:31,517 [chuckles] 40 00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:33,788 Your Grampy stories are hilarious. 41 00:01:35,457 --> 00:01:37,562 Can we stop and feed that old horse? 42 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,806 No, little girls and horses don't mix. 43 00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:44,008 He looks nice. 44 00:01:44,075 --> 00:01:46,045 Yeah, well, so did Ted Bundy. 45 00:01:46,112 --> 00:01:48,283 Some animals are just born rotten. 46 00:01:48,349 --> 00:01:50,688 You've heard the expression. You know, 47 00:01:50,755 --> 00:01:51,990 "Born a rotten animal." 48 00:01:52,057 --> 00:01:53,126 Nobody has, Mom. 49 00:01:53,193 --> 00:01:54,963 You struggled coming up with it. 50 00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:56,700 - Duncan, leg! - Hm? 51 00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:57,635 Ah! 52 00:01:57,702 --> 00:02:00,373 I don't wanna die in these shorts! 53 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,400 Ah, if I'm gonna get through "Of Mice and Men," 54 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,130 I'm gonna need a little something, something. 55 00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:09,091 You know you're not allowed to have coffee. 56 00:02:09,158 --> 00:02:11,429 It stunts your growth and curls your hands. 57 00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:13,968 Besides, there's something about a 12-year-old girl 58 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,272 with coffee that's just... tawdry. 59 00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:18,944 - Ugh, leaving, bye. - Hold on, Speedy McGee. 60 00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:20,089 Where do you think you're going? 61 00:02:20,113 --> 00:02:21,193 Movies with friends. Bye. 62 00:02:21,249 --> 00:02:23,988 Hey, wait a minute, Exit McBrexit. 63 00:02:24,054 --> 00:02:25,792 - Did you take out the trash? - No. 64 00:02:25,858 --> 00:02:26,960 - Fold your jammies? - No. 65 00:02:27,027 --> 00:02:28,229 - Take your bathy? - No. 66 00:02:28,296 --> 00:02:30,042 - Clean your earsies? - No, and I never will! 67 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,202 - Bye! - Jack! 68 00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:34,208 Okay, Duncan, please just pick one chore 69 00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:36,212 - to do before you leave. - Come on, Jack. 70 00:02:36,279 --> 00:02:38,349 I don't wanna always be the bad guy. 71 00:02:38,416 --> 00:02:41,590 - Stop being such a soft touch. - Don't, Dad. 72 00:02:41,657 --> 00:02:42,959 We like that you're a soft touch. 73 00:02:43,026 --> 00:02:46,165 Soft touch Daddy! Ooh! 74 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:49,038 I am not a soft touch. 75 00:02:49,104 --> 00:02:51,643 You heard your mother... and me. 76 00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:52,311 Do your chores! 77 00:02:52,377 --> 00:02:53,614 [whispers] I'm so sorry. 78 00:02:53,681 --> 00:02:54,850 Fine. 79 00:02:56,085 --> 00:02:59,693 Bathy, earsy, foldy. Happy? 80 00:02:59,759 --> 00:03:01,997 Be home by 10:00. What time? 81 00:03:02,064 --> 00:03:04,134 - 10:00. - I can't hear you. 82 00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:06,038 - 10:00! - There we go. 83 00:03:06,105 --> 00:03:07,441 Enjoy your movie, sweetie. 84 00:03:07,508 --> 00:03:09,512 Don't tell me what to do! 85 00:03:12,886 --> 00:03:14,188 That was a scary movie. 86 00:03:14,255 --> 00:03:16,827 When the licensed paranormal investigator 87 00:03:16,894 --> 00:03:20,902 turned out to be unlicensed, I screamed my butt off. 88 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,008 I loved that it was more 89 00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:23,908 than just a dumb, scary horror movie. 90 00:03:23,974 --> 00:03:26,747 It had something to say about how we handle death 91 00:03:26,813 --> 00:03:27,749 as a society. 92 00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:30,053 Yeah, my favorite part was when the ghost 93 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,226 represented the guy's grief at the loss of his mother 94 00:03:33,293 --> 00:03:36,232 in that car accident when he was a child. 95 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,604 Were we watching the same movie? 96 00:03:38,671 --> 00:03:42,444 - Seriously, you got that? - They never actually said it. 97 00:03:42,512 --> 00:03:43,379 Seemed pretty obvious. 98 00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:45,718 Let's get some Kenny Chesney cheesy fries. 99 00:03:45,785 --> 00:03:48,891 Wait, wait, go back to the ghost representing grief. 100 00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:50,528 Wolf, swap seats with me. 101 00:03:52,130 --> 00:03:54,101 Oh, her leg is touching mine! 102 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,038 [phone buzzes] 103 00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:58,242 But angry Mom is texting me. 104 00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:00,614 What would Kenny Chesney do? 105 00:04:00,681 --> 00:04:02,217 Ignore them texts, Duncan. 106 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,522 Mia thinks your tractor's sexy. 107 00:04:05,925 --> 00:04:09,198 Dang, my cheesy Chesney fries are mmm-mmm good. 108 00:04:09,264 --> 00:04:10,634 [chomps] 109 00:04:12,404 --> 00:04:15,611 [phone buzzes] 110 00:04:17,347 --> 00:04:19,351 Jack, it's 10:30. [Gasps] 111 00:04:19,418 --> 00:04:22,224 - VH1's "Behind the Music" is on. - Duncan's late. 112 00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:23,803 He's either making out or bleeding out. 113 00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:25,898 - Both aren't good. - Honey, he's fine. 114 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,637 And Def Leppard's drummer hasn't lost his arm yet. 115 00:04:28,704 --> 00:04:30,140 - There it goes. - Come on. 116 00:04:30,206 --> 00:04:31,643 We're gonna go get him. 117 00:04:33,179 --> 00:04:34,516 "He brought the muzzle of it 118 00:04:34,582 --> 00:04:36,520 close to the back of Lennie's head." 119 00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:38,524 - Your brother broke curfew. - Get in the car. 120 00:04:38,590 --> 00:04:41,228 - Can I bring my bunny book? - Sure. 121 00:04:41,295 --> 00:04:43,199 And the app also tells you what part 122 00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:44,536 of the movie to go pee during. 123 00:04:44,602 --> 00:04:46,840 I didn't know you were such a film buff. 124 00:04:46,907 --> 00:04:47,942 Oh, yeah. 125 00:04:48,009 --> 00:04:50,648 I'm an "obstute" observer of the human condition. 126 00:04:50,714 --> 00:04:51,859 Hey, when we're done eating, 127 00:04:51,883 --> 00:04:53,419 you want to come over to my house? 128 00:04:53,486 --> 00:04:55,925 - We can watch Peacock and chill. - [gasps] 129 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,597 Hoo-wee, Duncan, everything gets hotter 130 00:04:58,664 --> 00:05:00,166 when the sun goes down. 131 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,104 [hums country melody] 132 00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:03,807 [tires squeal] 133 00:05:03,874 --> 00:05:05,176 [brakes screech] 134 00:05:05,243 --> 00:05:07,047 Look at him. He's alive. 135 00:05:07,114 --> 00:05:09,251 That little creep left me on "read." 136 00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,831 Drag him out, Mom, but cheat yourself 137 00:05:10,855 --> 00:05:12,935 toward the window so I have a good shot of both of you. 138 00:05:12,959 --> 00:05:13,894 Good luck, honey. 139 00:05:13,961 --> 00:05:15,439 Hey, could you grab me some Funyun rings? 140 00:05:15,463 --> 00:05:16,332 I can't go in. 141 00:05:16,398 --> 00:05:18,971 There's a hole in my pajamas in a bad spot. 142 00:05:19,037 --> 00:05:20,240 - Go. - Me? 143 00:05:20,306 --> 00:05:21,586 But you're so much better at public scenes 144 00:05:21,610 --> 00:05:23,250 and don't care what the kids think of you. 145 00:05:23,312 --> 00:05:24,516 You're his father. 146 00:05:24,582 --> 00:05:27,254 Just go in and say, "Get your butt in the car, 147 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,891 or I'll put it there." 148 00:05:28,957 --> 00:05:30,293 What if he says no? 149 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,030 You don't take no for an answer. 150 00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:33,800 Okay. 151 00:05:36,172 --> 00:05:38,342 I'm the father. I'm the father. I'm the father. 152 00:05:38,409 --> 00:05:39,488 Are you sure your parents 153 00:05:39,512 --> 00:05:41,248 will be cool with me coming over? 154 00:05:41,315 --> 00:05:42,985 Actually, they're out of town. 155 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,798 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 156 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,125 Duncan Harris, 157 00:05:46,192 --> 00:05:47,628 I am your father. 158 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,407 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 159 00:05:49,431 --> 00:05:51,268 Well, this is every teen's fantasy. 160 00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:53,306 Duncan, you are out past curfew. 161 00:05:53,372 --> 00:05:56,478 I have a good reason. [Grunts] 162 00:05:56,546 --> 00:06:00,453 - Whoa, son, I had no idea. - Sorry to bother you. 163 00:06:00,521 --> 00:06:01,923 [grumbles] 164 00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:03,827 I'm sorry, Duncan, but it's time to go. 165 00:06:03,894 --> 00:06:06,298 - Bid your friends farewell. - Calm down. 166 00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,035 I'll meet you at home later. 167 00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:09,204 Let's roll, Mia. 168 00:06:09,271 --> 00:06:10,908 But your father. [Chuckles] 169 00:06:10,975 --> 00:06:13,647 Don't worry about him. He's a pushover. 170 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:21,128 Hell no, you'll meet me now in here and also at home 171 00:06:21,195 --> 00:06:22,340 'cause that's where we're going! 172 00:06:22,364 --> 00:06:23,600 Maybe you'd better go. 173 00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,547 My parents will be out of town again in six months. 174 00:06:25,571 --> 00:06:27,474 No, you're impressed with me tonight, 175 00:06:27,541 --> 00:06:29,244 and this may never happen again. 176 00:06:29,311 --> 00:06:31,215 Duncan Harris, I am your father! 177 00:06:31,282 --> 00:06:34,154 You are still my little boy, now get your butt in the car, 178 00:06:34,221 --> 00:06:35,891 or I will put it there. 179 00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:38,964 [tense music] 180 00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,634 ♪ 181 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,270 [bleep] you, Jack! 182 00:06:42,337 --> 00:06:43,974 Oh! [Gasps] 183 00:06:44,041 --> 00:06:46,980 Mm, no, uh, uh... 184 00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:49,217 [screaming] 185 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,921 Huh? 186 00:06:50,988 --> 00:06:53,560 Damn! 187 00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:01,074 Who are the real-world Illuminati ? Find out @ saveanilluminati.com 188 00:07:02,177 --> 00:07:03,814 Hm. 189 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,951 [panting, grunts] 190 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:08,356 Ah! 191 00:07:08,422 --> 00:07:10,393 I cannot believe those horrible words 192 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:11,863 came out of your mouth, 193 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,267 the mouth that, up until last month, 194 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:15,604 still had two baby teeth! 195 00:07:15,671 --> 00:07:17,875 - Wait, you were just in bed. - What? 196 00:07:17,942 --> 00:07:21,616 Those are doubles we hire to attend all your school crap. 197 00:07:23,052 --> 00:07:24,287 Hey, don't forget, 198 00:07:24,354 --> 00:07:25,891 parent teacher conference next week. 199 00:07:28,095 --> 00:07:30,199 - I gotta go. - School starts in three hours. 200 00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:31,536 Oh, no, you don't. 201 00:07:31,603 --> 00:07:33,472 Look at what you've done to your father. 202 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,443 Get in the car. 203 00:07:35,511 --> 00:07:37,782 I'm the father. [Sobs] 204 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:40,587 What do you have to say for yourself, young man? 205 00:07:40,654 --> 00:07:43,292 I apologize for the toxic atmosphere. 206 00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:44,862 I fired three producers, 207 00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:46,533 and you can have your birthday off. 208 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:49,705 - That's a celebrity apology. - It's meaningless. 209 00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:52,745 Dad kept yelling at me in front of my friends. 210 00:07:52,812 --> 00:07:55,316 I mean, if you shake a bottle of water long enough, 211 00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:56,383 it explodes. 212 00:07:56,418 --> 00:07:58,189 You mean can of soda. 213 00:07:58,255 --> 00:07:59,501 You're shaking the water, Mom. 214 00:07:59,525 --> 00:08:00,894 I'm out of this dump. 215 00:08:00,961 --> 00:08:02,598 You might feel like a big shot now, 216 00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:05,938 Cussy McFoulmouth, but let me tell you 217 00:08:06,004 --> 00:08:09,244 nobody's impressed, mister, nobody! 218 00:08:09,311 --> 00:08:10,681 Cheerleaders: He's impressive. 219 00:08:10,747 --> 00:08:12,083 Duncan's impressive! 220 00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:14,922 - Back up, everybody. - Worldstar coming through. 221 00:08:14,989 --> 00:08:17,895 That was freaking awesome, dude, 222 00:08:17,962 --> 00:08:21,001 and by freaking, I mean what you said. 223 00:08:21,803 --> 00:08:24,709 Oh, hey, Mia, sorry you had to see that last night. 224 00:08:24,775 --> 00:08:26,713 Do you still want to Peacock and chill? 225 00:08:26,779 --> 00:08:30,253 'Cause if not, I can stay home and HBO Max and wax. 226 00:08:30,319 --> 00:08:31,421 Are you kidding? 227 00:08:31,488 --> 00:08:33,259 Who knew you had a rebellious side? 228 00:08:33,325 --> 00:08:36,365 And who knew I was so basic that I'd be attracted to it? 229 00:08:36,431 --> 00:08:37,511 Why don't you come over tonight? 230 00:08:37,535 --> 00:08:40,072 Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. 231 00:08:40,139 --> 00:08:41,910 God, I love this you. 232 00:08:44,682 --> 00:08:47,487 Ugh, I've been nagging him for 15 years. 233 00:08:47,555 --> 00:08:50,192 Where did his anger come from? 234 00:08:50,259 --> 00:08:51,996 Poor Mommy. 235 00:08:52,063 --> 00:08:53,499 Yeah, she's going through hell. 236 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,369 So here's how we exploit it. 237 00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:57,307 Duncan's giant screwup has just opened 238 00:08:57,373 --> 00:08:58,810 - the window for us. - The window? 239 00:08:58,877 --> 00:09:00,647 The parents are so upset with Duncan, 240 00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,851 we have 24 hours to do whatever we want 241 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:04,922 and not get in trouble. Watch. 242 00:09:08,663 --> 00:09:11,068 Man, that's good coffee, Mom. 243 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,470 Huh? Oh, thanks, yeah, 244 00:09:12,538 --> 00:09:15,343 - Hazelnut blend. - Oh. 245 00:09:15,409 --> 00:09:17,480 Mommy, Kimberly and I both have fevers, 246 00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:19,552 so we're staying home from school today, okay? 247 00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:22,490 - Yeah, okay, sure. - Have a good sickness. 248 00:09:22,558 --> 00:09:24,094 [together] The window. 249 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,031 [laughter] 250 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,768 Hey, Ashley, it's Duncan Harris. 251 00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:30,473 Your friend May told me your boss keeps harassing you 252 00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:32,377 to wash your hands before going back to work, 253 00:09:32,443 --> 00:09:33,880 so just want to tell him... 254 00:09:33,947 --> 00:09:35,216 [school bell rings] Dave. 255 00:09:35,282 --> 00:09:36,753 And that's another 25 bucks. 256 00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:39,692 We over here making Jeremy Piven money. 257 00:09:39,759 --> 00:09:41,763 Duncan, I just read in the school paper 258 00:09:41,829 --> 00:09:44,535 what you said to your dad. So where'd he hit you? 259 00:09:44,602 --> 00:09:47,273 - He didn't. - Not even with his hand? 260 00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:48,610 A shoe? 261 00:09:48,677 --> 00:09:50,847 A novelty safari belt from his trip to Nigeria 262 00:09:50,914 --> 00:09:54,254 that will leave a imprint of a elephant of your ass? 263 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,724 Some of his tears hit me. 264 00:09:55,791 --> 00:09:57,728 Damn, your dad sounds like a good man. 265 00:09:57,795 --> 00:10:00,433 - Oh, yeah, he's the best. - But you made him cry. 266 00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:01,803 I destroyed him. 267 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,238 What are you getting at, Mr. Mitch? 268 00:10:03,305 --> 00:10:05,811 Duncan, all a father has is the false belief 269 00:10:05,877 --> 00:10:08,148 that he's in charge, but you grabbed his power. 270 00:10:08,215 --> 00:10:10,152 I know it feels really good right now... 271 00:10:10,219 --> 00:10:11,021 Really good. 272 00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,328 But who's gonna high-five you 273 00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:13,492 after your first kiss? 274 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,905 Who's gonna fart and blame the dog? 275 00:10:14,929 --> 00:10:16,666 Who's gonna speak too long at your wedding 276 00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:18,469 when everyone just wants to drink? 277 00:10:18,536 --> 00:10:20,239 Not your good dad 'cause he's dead. 278 00:10:20,306 --> 00:10:21,141 You killed him. 279 00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:23,145 I still don't get what you're 280 00:10:23,212 --> 00:10:24,314 wait a minute. 281 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,380 [harp strums] 282 00:10:27,521 --> 00:10:29,057 [engine sputtering] 283 00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:30,059 Start already. 284 00:10:30,126 --> 00:10:31,763 [engine buzzes] 285 00:10:31,829 --> 00:10:34,400 I get it! Thanks, tiny Duncan. 286 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,171 That kid needs to get hit. 287 00:10:36,238 --> 00:10:38,676 Look, I'm Mommy on her wedding day! 288 00:10:38,743 --> 00:10:40,580 Baby Duncan's in my tummy. 289 00:10:40,647 --> 00:10:42,092 And I just joined her Pedalton class. 290 00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:44,287 I see "Shrink my Fannie Annie" from Oakdale's 291 00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:45,524 with us today. 292 00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:47,795 Who's ready for their revenge body? 293 00:10:47,861 --> 00:10:49,197 I am, Brendan. 294 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,905 I found chocolate syrup under Mommy's bed. 295 00:10:52,971 --> 00:10:54,675 That's a weird place to keep it. 296 00:10:54,742 --> 00:10:57,848 Oh, well. I'm eating for two. 297 00:10:57,915 --> 00:10:58,516 Faster, bitch! 298 00:10:58,583 --> 00:11:00,419 Your husband works too hard 299 00:11:00,486 --> 00:11:01,526 for you to look like that. 300 00:11:01,556 --> 00:11:04,127 I'm not wasting our window on this fat-shamer. 301 00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:06,364 Let's go have some unsupervised fun. 302 00:11:06,431 --> 00:11:07,500 Yeah! 303 00:11:07,568 --> 00:11:09,370 ♪ I don't care 304 00:11:09,437 --> 00:11:10,339 [Icona Pop's "I Love It"] 305 00:11:10,406 --> 00:11:11,542 ♪ I love it 306 00:11:11,609 --> 00:11:13,378 ♪ I don't care 307 00:11:13,445 --> 00:11:16,384 ♪ 308 00:11:16,451 --> 00:11:18,422 ♪ I got this feeling on the summer day ♪ 309 00:11:18,488 --> 00:11:19,488 ♪ When you were gone 310 00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:20,827 [both retch] 311 00:11:20,894 --> 00:11:22,374 ♪ I crashed my car into the bridge ♪ 312 00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:24,076 ♪ Into the bridge, I watched, I let it burn ♪ 313 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,539 - ♪ I threw your [...] - into a bag ♪ 314 00:11:26,606 --> 00:11:28,576 ♪ Just yesterday 315 00:11:28,643 --> 00:11:30,312 ♪ I swaddled you 316 00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:32,651 ♪ I coddled you 317 00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:35,924 ♪ Then you F-bombed my heart 318 00:11:37,293 --> 00:11:38,663 Oh, hey, Dad, 319 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:41,234 Mr. Mitch and I thought about what I said, 320 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:42,504 and I'm really sorry, 321 00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:43,816 and I'm ready for my punishment. 322 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,744 You don't own an elephant belt, do you? 323 00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:47,714 You're gonna wish we owned an elephant belt 324 00:11:47,781 --> 00:11:49,585 when you hear your punishment. 325 00:11:49,652 --> 00:11:50,954 Tell him what he's lost, Jack! 326 00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:52,991 I-I think he's learned his lesson. 327 00:11:53,058 --> 00:11:56,699 - He's learned nothing. - Duncan crossed a line. 328 00:11:56,766 --> 00:11:59,270 He's gone from rad to radicalized. 329 00:11:59,337 --> 00:12:00,874 Yeah, Dad, you have to punish me, 330 00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:03,780 or else you won't bore people at my wedding. 331 00:12:03,846 --> 00:12:06,151 You know, um, sometimes the best punishment 332 00:12:06,217 --> 00:12:07,654 is no punishment. 333 00:12:07,721 --> 00:12:10,560 Where are you getting this stuff, AOC? 334 00:12:10,627 --> 00:12:13,398 - Punish your son. - Yeah, punish me, Dad. 335 00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:14,611 Smash that guitar over my head 336 00:12:14,635 --> 00:12:16,438 - like in cartoons. - No! 337 00:12:16,505 --> 00:12:17,505 [together] Why not? 338 00:12:17,541 --> 00:12:18,676 Because I respect you 339 00:12:18,743 --> 00:12:21,281 for saying what I never had the guts to say to my father! 340 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:26,993 Do... uh, do you want me to tell you the story? 341 00:12:27,661 --> 00:12:29,063 - Yeah, sure. - Okay. 342 00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,869 One day, when I was still trying to get my band going 343 00:12:31,936 --> 00:12:35,075 and working a part-time job, he came to my work. 344 00:12:35,142 --> 00:12:35,944 [grunts] 345 00:12:36,011 --> 00:12:38,683 Sorry to interrupt you and your date. 346 00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:40,452 Need something, Dad? 347 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,189 So this is the job you took 348 00:12:42,256 --> 00:12:43,726 instead of working with your old man 349 00:12:43,793 --> 00:12:45,362 at the dog food factory. 350 00:12:45,429 --> 00:12:47,033 Let's not do this here. 351 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,170 Why? You gonna cry? 352 00:12:49,237 --> 00:12:51,441 Dad, those are for display only. 353 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:53,311 Oh, tough guy, eh? 354 00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:56,719 Knock it off! 355 00:12:56,786 --> 00:12:58,589 You gonna cry, rock star? 356 00:12:58,656 --> 00:13:00,894 You gonna run home to your ukulele 357 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,365 and write a song about me? 358 00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:04,735 It's a guitar! 359 00:13:04,802 --> 00:13:06,471 That's not a guitar. 360 00:13:06,539 --> 00:13:08,543 Hank Williams plays a guitar. 361 00:13:08,609 --> 00:13:11,448 - You know what, Dad? - What? 362 00:13:11,515 --> 00:13:14,153 Mm, I'm going on my break! 363 00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:16,458 - [sobs] - Oh, and happy birthday! 364 00:13:16,525 --> 00:13:18,896 That was the day I should have said it to him, 365 00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:21,201 but I didn't have your guts, Duncan. 366 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,639 Plus I was afraid he'd knock me through a window. 367 00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:26,077 Oh, honey, it's never too late 368 00:13:26,144 --> 00:13:28,649 to say something hateful to someone you love. 369 00:13:28,716 --> 00:13:30,520 Duncan, when you said it to me, 370 00:13:30,587 --> 00:13:31,789 how did it feel? 371 00:13:31,856 --> 00:13:34,695 Honestly, like cool grass under your feet 372 00:13:34,761 --> 00:13:35,797 on a hot summer day. 373 00:13:35,864 --> 00:13:37,934 I love that feeling. 374 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:40,239 Too bad I missed my chance. 375 00:13:40,305 --> 00:13:41,407 [phone buzzes] 376 00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:45,950 Mm. [Whines softly] 377 00:13:46,752 --> 00:13:48,789 No, Dad, we're doing this, 378 00:13:48,856 --> 00:13:51,127 and I will be your amoral support. 379 00:13:52,864 --> 00:13:54,701 Mom, you want in on this action? 380 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,104 No, but take video. 381 00:13:56,171 --> 00:13:58,208 I have to keep an eye on your sisters. 382 00:13:58,275 --> 00:13:59,711 Wait, where are they, anyway? 383 00:13:59,778 --> 00:14:02,183 Dracarys. [Fire whooshes] 384 00:14:07,126 --> 00:14:09,998 - Dad and Duncan made up. - Aww, that's nice. 385 00:14:10,065 --> 00:14:12,671 No, Jing, that means the window is closing. 386 00:14:12,737 --> 00:14:14,340 Oh, that sucks! 387 00:14:14,407 --> 00:14:16,344 We can only get away with one more thing. 388 00:14:16,411 --> 00:14:18,616 What have we always wanted to do, 389 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,687 but Mom always says no? 390 00:14:20,753 --> 00:14:21,989 Feed the horsey. 391 00:14:22,056 --> 00:14:23,893 I was gonna say Post Malone our faces, 392 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,830 but we walked all the way here. 393 00:14:25,897 --> 00:14:27,008 [Aerosmith's "Train Kept a Rollin'"] 394 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,545 ♪ Train kept a-rolling all night long ♪ 395 00:14:28,569 --> 00:14:31,307 ♪ Train kept a-rolling all night long ♪ 396 00:14:31,374 --> 00:14:32,510 Hey! 397 00:14:32,577 --> 00:14:35,215 If I'm gonna swear at my dad, I need my pump up music. 398 00:14:35,282 --> 00:14:37,520 We've been sitting outside Grampy's place 399 00:14:37,587 --> 00:14:38,723 for an hour. 400 00:14:38,789 --> 00:14:40,927 - Are we doing this or what? - Not yet. 401 00:14:40,994 --> 00:14:42,363 ♪ But I just couldn't tell her ♪ 402 00:14:42,429 --> 00:14:44,400 ♪ No, no, no, no, no Okay, I'm ready. 403 00:14:48,943 --> 00:14:50,713 I am here to see Dick Harris. 404 00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,416 Jackie! [Screams] 405 00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:53,483 [bell rings] 406 00:14:54,621 --> 00:14:57,293 So good to see you, son. 407 00:14:57,359 --> 00:15:00,800 Do it, Dad. End his old ass. 408 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,136 [horse grunts] 409 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:05,208 - Aw, he wants us to get on. - Do you think we should? 410 00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:06,679 Huh? 411 00:15:06,745 --> 00:15:09,150 Yee-haw! Is that right? 412 00:15:09,216 --> 00:15:12,724 And now time to enjoy my post-workout snack 413 00:15:12,791 --> 00:15:14,628 of carrots and sugar cubes. 414 00:15:14,695 --> 00:15:16,565 Hmm, hm. 415 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,807 What the? Kimberly, Jing! 416 00:15:20,873 --> 00:15:23,378 [grumbles softly] That horse. 417 00:15:23,445 --> 00:15:27,052 And let's not forget your dad and that damn guitar. 418 00:15:27,119 --> 00:15:30,392 - Here we go. - Lock and load that F-bomb. 419 00:15:30,459 --> 00:15:33,699 He played that damn thing so well, 420 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,570 a regular Hank Williams. 421 00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:37,172 You used to hate my guitar. 422 00:15:37,239 --> 00:15:39,443 You backed over it with your Bonneville. 423 00:15:39,511 --> 00:15:41,080 Ah, I was jealous. 424 00:15:41,147 --> 00:15:43,318 I had the handsomest, most talented kid 425 00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:46,592 and I was a nothing who ground bird beaks into dog food. 426 00:15:46,658 --> 00:15:49,230 I was tearing you down to build myself up. 427 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:52,804 Heck, if I was you, I'd be telling me off right now. 428 00:15:52,871 --> 00:15:54,073 [grumbles] 429 00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:57,781 Actually, Dad, there is something I need to say. 430 00:15:57,847 --> 00:15:58,949 What? 431 00:15:59,016 --> 00:16:02,356 - Mm... - [rasps] 432 00:16:02,423 --> 00:16:04,628 F... 433 00:16:04,694 --> 00:16:07,032 Father, I love you! 434 00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:07,967 That's my boy. 435 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,805 Ugh, I didn't listen to that train song 436 00:16:09,871 --> 00:16:11,675 six times for this. 437 00:16:11,742 --> 00:16:13,879 I'm grabbing a frosty N-Shure. 438 00:16:13,946 --> 00:16:16,050 He's so beautiful. 439 00:16:16,117 --> 00:16:17,854 I'm gonna call him Princess Jing 440 00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:20,325 - like Daddy's guitar. - He's not mean. 441 00:16:20,392 --> 00:16:22,129 What else is Mom lying about? 442 00:16:22,196 --> 00:16:23,975 I'll bet I can't get pregnant on the first time. 443 00:16:23,999 --> 00:16:25,937 No way, and I'm gonna touch that fence 444 00:16:26,003 --> 00:16:27,172 by the power plant. 445 00:16:27,239 --> 00:16:28,609 [electricity humming] 446 00:16:28,676 --> 00:16:30,947 - Girls, get off that horse! - It's dangerous! 447 00:16:31,013 --> 00:16:32,951 You're a liar, Mom! Go away! 448 00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:35,255 Yeah, you're crazy, lady! 449 00:16:35,322 --> 00:16:36,057 - [horse neighs] - Oh, ah! 450 00:16:36,123 --> 00:16:39,296 - Whoa! - Ah, I'm sorry, Mommy! 451 00:16:39,363 --> 00:16:39,965 Save us! 452 00:16:40,031 --> 00:16:42,102 Yeah, help us, lady! 453 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:45,108 Stand down, Officer Maple Bar. 454 00:16:46,712 --> 00:16:49,383 - Officer Maple Bar? - You know this horse? 455 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:50,853 We used to work together. 456 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,189 [harp strums] 457 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,232 Until one day, I was given the choice 458 00:16:57,299 --> 00:17:01,542 of keeping the horse or taking a new electric cart. 459 00:17:01,608 --> 00:17:02,911 I loved Maple Bar 460 00:17:02,977 --> 00:17:04,380 more than anything in the world. 461 00:17:04,446 --> 00:17:06,818 He even saved my life once, 462 00:17:06,885 --> 00:17:09,524 but the cart had a cupholder, so I chose the cart. 463 00:17:12,195 --> 00:17:13,699 [horse grunts] 464 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:14,766 [harp strums] 465 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,905 You traded him for a cupholder? 466 00:17:16,972 --> 00:17:18,576 You're the rotten animal! 467 00:17:18,642 --> 00:17:20,746 I'm so sorry, Maple Bar. 468 00:17:20,813 --> 00:17:23,652 Come on, it's a hot day. Let me give you some water. 469 00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:29,664 Maple Bar, no! You were my maid of honor! 470 00:17:29,731 --> 00:17:31,467 [horse neighs] 471 00:17:31,535 --> 00:17:33,471 [metal clanking] 472 00:17:33,539 --> 00:17:35,008 [horse neighs] 473 00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:36,745 I don't blame him. 474 00:17:36,812 --> 00:17:38,616 I put the cart before the horse. 475 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:39,985 [laughs] 476 00:17:40,051 --> 00:17:41,855 Gosh, that's funny! 477 00:17:41,922 --> 00:17:45,161 I made a funny joke by accident. 478 00:17:45,228 --> 00:17:46,698 I did an improv! 479 00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:48,736 Sorry we exploited you being mad at Duncan 480 00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:50,773 to nearly kill ourselves. 481 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,677 Can you ever forgive us? 482 00:17:52,744 --> 00:17:55,281 I can always forgive, but I never forget, 483 00:17:55,348 --> 00:17:57,787 which means I never really forgive. 484 00:17:57,854 --> 00:17:58,789 [metal clanking] 485 00:17:58,856 --> 00:18:00,058 [horse neighs] 486 00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:01,995 You done all right for yourself, son. 487 00:18:02,062 --> 00:18:04,133 Beautiful family, your own business, 488 00:18:04,199 --> 00:18:06,437 ponytail Seabiscuit would kill for. 489 00:18:06,505 --> 00:18:09,476 - Did you hear that? - He accepts us. 490 00:18:09,544 --> 00:18:11,080 - [high-pitched ring] - Eh. 491 00:18:11,147 --> 00:18:13,051 Where's that damn nurse with my meds? 492 00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,188 Hey, where'd the twinkle in your eye go? 493 00:18:15,255 --> 00:18:16,992 Jackie, can you do me a solid? 494 00:18:17,059 --> 00:18:19,029 Anything for you, Pop. 495 00:18:19,096 --> 00:18:20,866 Change your old man's diaper. 496 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,804 - Whoa, what? - Oh, come on. 497 00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:24,082 When your diaper needed changing, 498 00:18:24,106 --> 00:18:25,609 who made your mom do it? 499 00:18:25,676 --> 00:18:27,580 Oh, never mind. I'll just stew in it. 500 00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:30,820 No, Pop, I won't let you stew in anything 501 00:18:30,886 --> 00:18:33,357 besides my love. 502 00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:39,504 Strawberry, butter pecan, banana nut 503 00:18:39,571 --> 00:18:41,273 man, dying people have the life. 504 00:18:41,340 --> 00:18:43,478 Hey, kid, would you mind giving your grandfather 505 00:18:43,545 --> 00:18:44,914 this pill for his back pain? 506 00:18:44,981 --> 00:18:46,050 We're going on strike. 507 00:18:46,117 --> 00:18:48,488 - Sure, no prob and good luck. - Thanks. 508 00:18:48,555 --> 00:18:50,225 Get this to your grandpa soon. 509 00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:52,496 His meds are the only thing keeping him nice 510 00:18:52,563 --> 00:18:53,732 'cause when they wear off... 511 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,705 He's a mean, old man who thinks it's fun 512 00:18:56,772 --> 00:18:58,007 to make his son cry? 513 00:18:58,074 --> 00:19:01,046 That's our Dick! 514 00:19:01,113 --> 00:19:03,384 Oh, no, Dad thinks his father loves him! 515 00:19:03,451 --> 00:19:04,854 [panting] 516 00:19:04,921 --> 00:19:08,662 Dad, you're supposed to take the peanuts out of the shell. 517 00:19:08,729 --> 00:19:11,333 - I paid for the shell. - I'm gonna eat the shell. 518 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,337 Now hurry up. It's cold, you idiot. 519 00:19:13,404 --> 00:19:16,143 Are you criticizing me while I'm doing 520 00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:17,489 the most loving, disgusting thing 521 00:19:17,513 --> 00:19:19,584 a child can do for his father? 522 00:19:19,651 --> 00:19:21,755 Dad, Dad, don't fall for his praise. 523 00:19:21,822 --> 00:19:24,226 His meds make him... what the? 524 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,596 Look away! 525 00:19:25,663 --> 00:19:27,299 [laughs] 526 00:19:27,365 --> 00:19:30,506 Oh, Jackie, you'll do anything to feel loved. 527 00:19:30,573 --> 00:19:33,110 You didn't mean those nice things you said? 528 00:19:33,177 --> 00:19:36,150 And changing you, that was just to humiliate me? 529 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:39,156 Aww, you gonna cry about it, rock star? 530 00:19:39,223 --> 00:19:41,360 - Say it, Dad! - Say what? 531 00:19:41,427 --> 00:19:44,901 Your dad's not man enough. Why don't you tell me, Slumpy? 532 00:19:44,968 --> 00:19:46,605 [in slow motion] Huh? 533 00:19:46,671 --> 00:19:48,374 Ugh. 534 00:19:51,882 --> 00:19:53,719 Start already! 535 00:19:53,785 --> 00:19:55,756 [engine rumbles] 536 00:19:55,823 --> 00:19:58,461 [bleep] you, Dick! 537 00:19:58,528 --> 00:19:59,697 Huh? 538 00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:02,703 [grunts] 539 00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:07,580 - Oh! - Ah, ugh! 540 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:09,684 Oh! 541 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:10,929 [together] ♪ Train kept a-rolling 542 00:20:10,953 --> 00:20:12,222 ♪ All night long 543 00:20:12,289 --> 00:20:14,827 ♪ Train kept a-rolling all night long ♪ 544 00:20:14,894 --> 00:20:16,363 You were right, son! 545 00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:19,236 Cool grass on a hot summer day! 546 00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:21,006 You're the best dad ever! 547 00:20:21,073 --> 00:20:25,181 I promise I will put you in a nicer home than that one. 548 00:20:25,248 --> 00:20:28,087 - Duncan, train! - Yeah, kept a-rolling! 549 00:20:28,154 --> 00:20:30,124 No, train! 550 00:20:30,191 --> 00:20:31,695 [train whistle blares] 551 00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:32,897 Ten and two. 552 00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:34,132 [rock and roll music] 553 00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:37,907 - Whoo! - Yeah! 554 00:20:37,974 --> 00:20:40,144 ♪ Well, get along 555 00:20:40,211 --> 00:20:42,516 ♪ Sweet little woman get along ♪ 556 00:20:48,194 --> 00:20:49,964 Ooh! Hit me. 557 00:20:52,068 --> 00:20:53,939 [both sigh] 558 00:20:54,006 --> 00:20:55,876 That B12's got a kick. 559 00:20:55,943 --> 00:20:57,145 Yeah, sneaks up on you. 560 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:58,815 [phone buzzes] 561 00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:01,320 It's Mia. She wants to know if I'm up. 562 00:21:01,387 --> 00:21:03,090 Ugh, I hate being grounded. 563 00:21:03,157 --> 00:21:04,727 Hey, I blocked you once. 564 00:21:04,794 --> 00:21:07,365 Go to Mia's. I'll cover for you. 565 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,269 Thanks, Dad. 566 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,939 You rock! 567 00:21:12,108 --> 00:21:13,477 Okay, you're up. 568 00:21:19,322 --> 00:21:20,793 Slump over a little bit more. 569 00:21:23,330 --> 00:21:25,903 Aww, my sweet boys. 570 00:21:29,342 --> 00:21:30,612 [squirrel chirping frantically] 571 00:21:30,679 --> 00:21:31,679 [gulps] 571 00:21:32,305 --> 00:22:32,310 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today