1 00:00:07,653 --> 00:00:09,405 Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love? 2 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:17,074 Watch Movies, TV Series & Live Sports www.admitme.app 3 00:00:30,293 --> 00:00:33,091 JINGLE SINGERS: Call Robo-Rooter if you flush a towel 4 00:00:33,373 --> 00:00:36,285 We also help with an impacted bowel 5 00:00:36,573 --> 00:00:38,052 JINGLE SINGERS: Robo-Rooter 6 00:00:41,173 --> 00:00:43,004 Now this is progress: 7 00:00:43,253 --> 00:00:46,245 A self-microwaving Bavarian Cream Dog. 8 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:54,405 Let's just pray I have the energy to get another beer. 9 00:00:59,813 --> 00:01:02,611 What is this, the Middle Ages? 10 00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:09,722 Look at you. 11 00:01:09,973 --> 00:01:13,568 - You've become a fat sack of crap. - Sack? 12 00:01:13,853 --> 00:01:17,846 Bender, your beer belly's so big your door won't close. 13 00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:21,443 - And that doesn't make sense. - You're coming to the gym. 14 00:01:21,693 --> 00:01:24,287 The gym? Excellent! Excellent! 15 00:01:24,573 --> 00:01:28,452 For some reason, I'm frisky as a squid on Tuesday. 16 00:01:50,413 --> 00:01:52,210 Who's up for a steam? 17 00:01:53,093 --> 00:01:57,530 Crustaceans don't like steam. I'll work out with the Nautilus. 18 00:01:57,773 --> 00:02:02,528 - What up, Dr. Z? - Yo, yo. What's up? Give up the rock! 19 00:02:04,013 --> 00:02:07,050 Coed steam rooms. I love the future. 20 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:10,012 You're in the women's steam room. 21 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,681 Ah, futuristic. 22 00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:15,811 Look what life was like before genetic engineering. 23 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,408 The poor 20th-century women. 24 00:02:20,493 --> 00:02:23,087 Hey, handsome. Have room for two? 25 00:02:23,653 --> 00:02:25,006 You wish. 26 00:02:28,573 --> 00:02:32,202 Hey, Leela, look who's the super stud. 27 00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:35,610 Someone must have turned down the gravity. 28 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:40,887 Give me that! 29 00:02:45,453 --> 00:02:46,727 More weight! 30 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,602 What's that jazz on your head? 31 00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:55,606 Enough questions. More weight! 32 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:57,721 More! 33 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,966 More! 34 00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:02,452 [ROARS] 35 00:03:03,093 --> 00:03:06,085 Maybe you could do more reps with less weight. 36 00:03:09,693 --> 00:03:14,403 Looks like Zoidberg's finally coming out of his shell! Get it? 37 00:03:14,613 --> 00:03:16,012 He's coming out... 38 00:03:27,773 --> 00:03:32,051 Nice and gentle. We don't want any unnecessary stress. 39 00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,132 [BABY CRIES] 40 00:03:38,493 --> 00:03:41,963 - Is there a doctor in the gym? - I'm a doctor! 41 00:03:42,493 --> 00:03:44,245 [WOMEN SCREAMING] 42 00:03:44,453 --> 00:03:46,444 [BABIES CRYING] 43 00:03:51,973 --> 00:03:54,282 Why's he acting this way? 44 00:03:54,573 --> 00:03:57,804 - He seemed the most normal. - I am normal. 45 00:03:58,053 --> 00:04:02,205 Amy, take off these rubber bands, and I'll show you. 46 00:04:02,453 --> 00:04:07,208 Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight times, shame on me. 47 00:04:07,493 --> 00:04:10,451 - Maybe he has a parasite. - Maybe he is one. 48 00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:13,293 It's sad when a friend goes nuts... 49 00:04:13,493 --> 00:04:16,883 ...and you have to have a clambake and cook him. Yee-ha! 50 00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:21,331 This won't do. Let me give old Zoidie a sedative. 51 00:04:22,173 --> 00:04:26,530 - Much better. You can remove these. - I'll do it. 52 00:04:26,813 --> 00:04:28,724 - Look out! - Moron! 53 00:04:29,693 --> 00:04:33,242 Hmm. Ooh. Aha! There's the problem. 54 00:04:33,493 --> 00:04:38,692 Give it to me straight. Is it fin rot? It's fin rot, isn't it? 55 00:04:39,093 --> 00:04:41,607 Relax, chum. It's no problem. 56 00:04:41,813 --> 00:04:44,646 You're just heavy with male jelly. 57 00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,167 Blech! 58 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,842 It's mating season for his people. 59 00:04:49,093 --> 00:04:53,325 A time when his behavior is run by the brain in his rump. 60 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:54,648 Yuck! 61 00:04:54,893 --> 00:04:57,851 - There's one thing we can do. - I'll boil the water. 62 00:04:58,093 --> 00:05:02,609 We, I mean you, have to rush him to his ancient home world... 63 00:05:02,813 --> 00:05:06,442 ...which will soon erupt in an orgy of invertebrate sex. 64 00:05:06,733 --> 00:05:10,851 - Oh, baby, I'm there! - Do you understand "invertebrate"? 65 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:15,803 It's not the word I care about. No need to pack pants. Let's roll! 66 00:05:16,293 --> 00:05:19,205 Dr. Zoidberg said I should hold these. 67 00:05:21,253 --> 00:05:23,687 BENDER: Moron! 68 00:05:41,973 --> 00:05:46,410 Welcome home, old friend! Just 1 9 hours until the mating frenzy! 69 00:05:50,173 --> 00:05:54,451 - Excellent! Excellent! - See ya there, Doctor: 70 00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:56,610 That's how you say "Zoidberg"? 71 00:05:58,973 --> 00:06:02,045 You didn't have to point out his speech impediment. 72 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:06,208 - You're looking less nuts. - I'm feeling less nuts. 73 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:11,447 Tomorrow I'll be depositing jelly in the cloacal vents of a female. 74 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,086 Catch my drift? 75 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,523 - Who's the lobsterina? - Not sure. 76 00:06:15,813 --> 00:06:19,203 I shall attract one today with an erotic display. 77 00:06:19,453 --> 00:06:22,445 Your people fall in love so fast. 78 00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:24,803 "Love"? That word's unknown here. 79 00:06:25,053 --> 00:06:29,729 I want a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material. 80 00:06:30,013 --> 00:06:31,287 You and me both. 81 00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:36,045 Ah! My old scuttling grounds. Let's pull over. 82 00:06:41,613 --> 00:06:46,812 I used to hang out here as a larva. It looked much bigger then. 83 00:06:49,053 --> 00:06:51,806 Who's the tough guy now, Vinnie? 84 00:06:59,373 --> 00:07:02,410 Look! Outdoor theater! Let's get tickets! 85 00:07:02,653 --> 00:07:05,087 It's the Ceremony of Claw Plock. 86 00:07:05,373 --> 00:07:08,285 We fight to the death over honor... 87 00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:12,208 ...and whether abbreviations count in Scrabble. They don't! 88 00:07:12,493 --> 00:07:17,169 I didn't come to see two guys. Where do you do your erotic display? 89 00:07:17,453 --> 00:07:20,013 Same as your species. The beach! 90 00:07:24,293 --> 00:07:26,932 - How do I look? - Like whale barf. 91 00:07:27,173 --> 00:07:29,687 Then the illusion is complete. 92 00:07:30,453 --> 00:07:34,731 I wonder if they're here to watch the erotic display too. 93 00:07:35,493 --> 00:07:38,451 Perfect. This ought to make me stand out. 94 00:07:45,053 --> 00:07:49,444 - Look how silly they look. - He's no different from you organisms... 95 00:07:49,693 --> 00:07:52,730 ...shooting DNA at each other to make babies. 96 00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:54,207 It's offensive! 97 00:07:55,493 --> 00:07:57,802 Keep your jelly away from my eggs. 98 00:07:59,013 --> 00:08:01,004 So not interested. 99 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,764 I've heard that before. 100 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,645 What's the point? 101 00:08:16,773 --> 00:08:18,445 Why's he still alone? 102 00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:22,772 He's a loser, that's why. The lobster equivalent of Fry. 103 00:08:23,053 --> 00:08:27,205 I can get any girl, any time. I'm just too busy. 104 00:08:34,453 --> 00:08:35,647 Edna! 105 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:39,528 Edna, it's me, Zoidberg. Remember? From high school. 106 00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:43,884 My face was covered with barnacles. 107 00:08:44,653 --> 00:08:47,213 I didn't know you were back in town. 108 00:08:47,453 --> 00:08:49,921 I heard you became a rich doctor. 109 00:08:50,173 --> 00:08:52,812 I've performed a few mercy killings. 110 00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:57,763 So, as long as I'm in town, I was wondering if maybe, well... . 111 00:08:58,693 --> 00:09:03,403 Gee. Yeah, I'm just going through a lot of things right now, and... 112 00:09:03,613 --> 00:09:06,730 Look, I carry more eggs than other females. 113 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:11,052 I owe it to our race to pick a mate stuffed with jelly. 114 00:09:11,293 --> 00:09:13,761 - Maybe a rock star. - Or a doctor? 115 00:09:13,973 --> 00:09:17,852 I'm sorry. You're just an inferior male specimen. 116 00:09:18,093 --> 00:09:20,209 Nice seeing you again. 117 00:09:26,173 --> 00:09:30,530 No one will ever mate with me. Not with a puny claw like this. 118 00:09:30,773 --> 00:09:35,005 Did you see those guys? They were giant claws with bodies. 119 00:09:35,253 --> 00:09:38,211 - You didn't smell as bad. - You're right. 120 00:09:38,413 --> 00:09:41,291 My stink gland is weak. Smell! 121 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,331 You gotta fake like you're in love. 122 00:09:45,573 --> 00:09:48,610 Look in her eyes, start crying... 123 00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:51,646 ...and say, "I've never been so happy. " 124 00:09:51,973 --> 00:09:54,612 If a guy ever did that, I'd know it. 125 00:09:54,853 --> 00:09:57,651 Wait a second. They've all done that. 126 00:09:57,893 --> 00:09:59,565 Even Sean! 127 00:10:03,093 --> 00:10:06,881 This "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it! 128 00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:10,287 You're on a date. What do you do? 129 00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:13,491 - Ask her to mate. - Say she's special. 130 00:10:13,773 --> 00:10:17,322 She's not. She just has the largest clutch of eggs. 131 00:10:17,613 --> 00:10:19,888 - Well, tell her that. Then? - Then mating. 132 00:10:20,173 --> 00:10:23,529 No. Make up feelings and tell her you have them. 133 00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:28,403 - Is "desire to mate" a feeling? - You're not even trying! 134 00:10:28,893 --> 00:10:34,013 It's all so complicated. The romance and the lies upon lies. 135 00:10:34,253 --> 00:10:38,610 Don't worry. The love meister will take you under his wing. 136 00:10:38,853 --> 00:10:41,128 Now there's a bird involved? 137 00:10:43,293 --> 00:10:44,521 Okay, go ahead. 138 00:10:48,693 --> 00:10:50,809 What the...? Dr. Zoidberg? 139 00:10:51,013 --> 00:10:54,562 Your display failed. Why are you trying to talk to me? 140 00:10:54,853 --> 00:10:55,922 I don't know. 141 00:10:56,213 --> 00:10:58,363 You just want to talk. 142 00:10:58,653 --> 00:11:01,213 I just want to talk. 143 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,250 That doesn't make sense. 144 00:11:03,533 --> 00:11:06,525 That doesn't make sense. But okay. 145 00:11:06,813 --> 00:11:08,849 Tell her she looks thin. 146 00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:12,842 You seem malnourished. Do you suffer from parasites? 147 00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:15,089 Yes. Thanks for noticing. 148 00:11:15,373 --> 00:11:18,285 - Ask about her day. - Why would I care? 149 00:11:18,573 --> 00:11:21,212 - You wouldn't. Ask. - How was your day? 150 00:11:21,493 --> 00:11:25,611 Well, first I got up and had a piece of toast. 151 00:11:25,813 --> 00:11:28,407 Then I went to the store. And... 152 00:11:28,693 --> 00:11:30,684 Look, she won't shut up. 153 00:11:30,973 --> 00:11:33,771 It's normal. Just nod and say, "Uh-huh. " 154 00:11:34,053 --> 00:11:37,489 - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - And then you threw an octopus. 155 00:11:37,773 --> 00:11:41,766 It's crazy, but when you talk this way... 156 00:11:41,973 --> 00:11:45,602 ...your obvious deficiencies seem less obvious. 157 00:11:45,893 --> 00:11:50,603 Your genes seem less detrimental. You even stink more. 158 00:11:50,893 --> 00:11:52,963 - Ask to mate? - Third date. 159 00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,886 So I returned his artificial heart. 160 00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:01,324 Since then, I've been called "Honest Bender. " 161 00:12:03,373 --> 00:12:07,446 "I'd like to propose a toast to coat check number 84. " 162 00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:10,446 - Turn it over. - Oh. "Edna! 163 00:12:10,693 --> 00:12:14,447 Of all the gross crab monsters on this planet... 164 00:12:14,653 --> 00:12:16,723 ...you are the hottest. " 165 00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:17,963 Oy. 166 00:12:18,253 --> 00:12:21,529 - That's the most beautiful thing. - Yes. Well... 167 00:12:21,773 --> 00:12:25,004 ...excuse me. I must powder my flaps. 168 00:12:26,053 --> 00:12:27,202 Me too. 169 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:31,247 I'm confused. I'm feeling a strange new emotion. 170 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:35,003 Is it love when you care for a female for reasons beyond mating? 171 00:12:35,293 --> 00:12:37,648 No. Must be some alien emotion. 172 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:43,249 He said some dumb stuff. He's a nice guy. Really. 173 00:12:43,493 --> 00:12:47,042 Fry's been telling him what to say. And Fry's a... 174 00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:50,285 - Do you have idiots on your planet? - Fry? 175 00:12:50,573 --> 00:12:55,328 Words of such beauty came from the blowhole of that hideous alien? 176 00:12:55,613 --> 00:12:56,841 Yeah. What? 177 00:12:57,093 --> 00:13:02,292 Look, never mind the words. Zoidberg's a doctor. A doctor, honey. 178 00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:15,246 EDNA: Come in. 179 00:13:22,693 --> 00:13:23,967 Hello, Fry. 180 00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:28,326 Can I interest you in some surf and turf? 181 00:13:28,613 --> 00:13:33,767 I came to tell you that Zoidberg's great. He's got jelly out the wazoo. 182 00:13:34,053 --> 00:13:37,250 That is where it comes out. It's not everything. 183 00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:40,286 I know Zoidberg's words were yours. 184 00:13:40,573 --> 00:13:44,725 Teach me to love, you squishy poet from beyond! 185 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:51,483 I'm flattered. If I did it with a mud bug, you'd top the list. 186 00:13:51,773 --> 00:13:56,289 Hush, you romantic fool. Engage your mandibles and kiss me. 187 00:14:03,773 --> 00:14:07,766 Edna? I couldn't stand it any longer. L... 188 00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:12,291 Fry! 189 00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,724 It's not how it looks! 190 00:14:15,933 --> 00:14:18,447 - Her caviar is on your neck! - But... 191 00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:22,049 It's true, Zoidberg. We can't hide it any longer. 192 00:14:22,293 --> 00:14:25,046 We're in love, and we're mating tomorrow! 193 00:14:25,293 --> 00:14:29,730 - What?! - Fry! I challenge you to Claw Plock! 194 00:14:31,493 --> 00:14:34,883 - English, please? - A fight to the death! 195 00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:39,562 And if you survive, we'll make sweet love. 196 00:14:47,693 --> 00:14:49,843 The law is clear. 197 00:14:50,093 --> 00:14:55,292 Fry and Zoidberg shall fight to the death for the beautiful Edna. 198 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,809 But I don't want her! 199 00:14:58,013 --> 00:15:01,562 The tradition of Claw Plock can't be taken back. 200 00:15:01,853 --> 00:15:06,881 It is a recent tradition, only 1 8 years old, but it is a tradition. 201 00:15:17,773 --> 00:15:22,244 I'm going to rip your swim bladder out and show it to you! 202 00:15:22,493 --> 00:15:25,963 This is madness! You're being irrational! 203 00:15:26,253 --> 00:15:29,290 - Of course I am. I'm in love! - Aw. 204 00:15:29,573 --> 00:15:31,245 - Leela! - Right, right. 205 00:15:31,493 --> 00:15:33,324 You have to stop this. 206 00:15:33,613 --> 00:15:35,968 Listen, lady. As you can see... 207 00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:40,007 ...I'm a highly desirable male groaning with jelly. 208 00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:44,331 Yet I embrace celibacy to uphold our crazy traditions. 209 00:15:44,613 --> 00:15:49,004 - One of your friends must die. - Fate is cruel and unyielding. 210 00:15:49,213 --> 00:15:51,522 And what must be, must be. 211 00:15:51,773 --> 00:15:56,051 Taking bets! 9-to-2 on Zoidberg, the crab with the jab! 212 00:15:56,293 --> 00:15:59,091 The Great Red Hope! Come on, baby! 213 00:15:59,373 --> 00:16:02,445 It's been years since medical school. Remind me: 214 00:16:02,693 --> 00:16:06,288 - Disemboweling you, fatal or not? - Fatal. 215 00:16:06,573 --> 00:16:08,848 Large bet on me in round one! 216 00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:13,445 Edna, have you anything to say before begins the Claw Plock? 217 00:16:13,693 --> 00:16:17,766 I do. Today I got up and I had a piece of toast... 218 00:16:17,973 --> 00:16:19,804 ...then I brushed my teeth... 219 00:16:20,093 --> 00:16:22,687 - Shut up! - I love you, Fry! 220 00:16:22,893 --> 00:16:24,406 No! 221 00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:28,963 Having guessed what animal I was thinking of... 222 00:16:29,173 --> 00:16:32,085 ...you have first choice of weapon. 223 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:42,606 - And you, doctor? - I choose my claws. 224 00:16:42,853 --> 00:16:46,448 I want to chop him here, in the gonads. 225 00:16:46,693 --> 00:16:48,285 Nobody correct him. 226 00:16:49,693 --> 00:16:52,765 Fry, I've never asked for anything before... . 227 00:16:52,973 --> 00:16:56,602 When it comes to the ninth round, let him win. 228 00:16:56,893 --> 00:17:02,013 - It's a fight to the death! - Suddenly it's all about you! Sheesh. 229 00:17:02,293 --> 00:17:05,205 Please rise for the national anthem. 230 00:17:08,453 --> 00:17:09,602 Uh-oh. 231 00:17:10,853 --> 00:17:14,084 Let Claw Plock begin! 232 00:17:52,293 --> 00:17:54,568 Go, Fry! Die with dignity! 233 00:17:57,893 --> 00:17:59,008 Oops! 234 00:18:03,413 --> 00:18:06,769 No! I can't stand to look! 235 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,606 What? 236 00:18:14,453 --> 00:18:16,125 Fry! Take a dive! 237 00:18:18,773 --> 00:18:21,367 Claw Plock! Claw Plock! 238 00:18:21,653 --> 00:18:26,010 Claw Plock! Claw Plock! Claw Plock! 239 00:18:28,613 --> 00:18:33,812 Fellow fish monsters, I don't want to question your stupid civilization... 240 00:18:34,173 --> 00:18:38,689 ...but will killing someone with a nutcracker solve anything? 241 00:18:38,973 --> 00:18:43,251 He's my friend. Though a woman has come between us... 242 00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:45,284 ...we'll remain friends. 243 00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:48,491 And do you know why? One reason. 244 00:18:52,293 --> 00:18:56,002 You bastard! I'll kill you! You bastard! 245 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:07,044 Wait! Stop! Everyone is gone! 246 00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,563 Edna? Honey? 247 00:19:16,093 --> 00:19:17,242 Edna? 248 00:19:25,613 --> 00:19:27,251 Oh, my God! 249 00:19:27,493 --> 00:19:29,051 The frenzy! 250 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:34,492 Oh, the greatest experience in life and I missed it. 251 00:19:35,653 --> 00:19:37,769 I'm sorry, doc. 252 00:19:44,373 --> 00:19:49,049 The frenzy is over. How will I get rid of my jelly now? 253 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,449 - I'll lend you this. - Fry. 254 00:19:51,653 --> 00:19:54,326 - Hey! - Shoo! Get away. Hey! 255 00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:57,202 What's with the flying jerks? 256 00:19:57,453 --> 00:19:59,887 They feast after the frenzy. 257 00:20:00,093 --> 00:20:03,529 Once my species passes its genes, it dies. 258 00:20:05,213 --> 00:20:08,410 You choose between life without sex and death? 259 00:20:08,613 --> 00:20:10,251 - Yes. - Tough call. 260 00:20:13,293 --> 00:20:16,285 It was nice of you to let me fix your arm. 261 00:20:16,573 --> 00:20:19,804 Especially after I made an eel out of myself. 262 00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:21,242 - No biggie. - Yes, biggie. 263 00:20:21,493 --> 00:20:24,291 I felt things I never felt before: 264 00:20:24,493 --> 00:20:27,849 Love, jealousy, passion for disemboweling. 265 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,890 I owe it all to you. 266 00:20:30,893 --> 00:20:33,851 I pronounce the operation a success. 267 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,328 - Hooray! - Yeah! 268 00:20:36,613 --> 00:20:41,209 I don't know emotions. But medicine, forget about it. 269 00:20:41,453 --> 00:20:46,049 Not to nitpick, doc, but could you take one more whack at this? 270 00:20:46,293 --> 00:20:48,932 For you, my friend, anything. 271 00:20:51,053 --> 00:20:53,044 FRY: Ahh! My legs! ZOIDBERG: All right... 272 00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,443 Third time's the charm. 273 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 274 00:20:56,305 --> 00:21:56,773 Watch Movies, TV Series & Live Sports www.admitme.app