1
00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:06,271
<i>[ Man ]</i>
<i>ONE, TWO! ONE, TWO, THREE!</i>

2
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Watch Movies, TV Series & Live Sports
www.admitme.app

3
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IN WHAT HAS BECOME A WINTER
TRADITION, MEMBERS OF THE
ZARLON SEVEN POLAR BEAR CLUB...

4
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TODAY TOOK THE PLUNGE
INTO A RIVER OF LIQUID AMMONIA.

5
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,457
[ Cheering ]

6
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,727
THERE WERE NO SURVIVORS.

7
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[ Laughs ]
        TAKES ALL KINDS.

8
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AND NOW WITH
    HIS ANNUAL XMAS MESSAGE,

9
00:00:51,702 --> 00:00:54,253
HERE'S THE HEAD OF
    THE XMAS SAFETY COUNCIL,

10
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,237
THE HEAD OF WALTER CRONKITE.

11
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:59,107
SEASON'S WARNINGS,
            LINDA AND MORBO.

12
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THIS GUY'S TOO TRUSTWORTHY.
    WHAT'S HIS ANGLE?

13
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:06,030
IN ALL THE TINSEL AND TERROR
OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON,

14
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:09,468
WE TOO OFTEN UNDERESTIMATE
THAT MURDEROUS BRUTE...

15
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,870
BETTER KNOWN AS SANTA CLAUS.

16
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:15,206
WITH IMAGES OF LAST YEAR'S
    GINGERBREAD MASSACRE...

17
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,775
FRESHLY BAKED
            INTO OUR MEMORIES,

18
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I REMIND YOU
            TO BOLT YOUR DOORS,

19
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SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR PETS
    AND LOCK YOUR CHILDREN
    IN THE CLOSET.

20
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:29,187
THIS IS WALTER CRONKITE
    SAYING "I TOLD YOU SO."

21
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<i> [ Hammering ]</i>

22
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SACRED BOAR OF WESTERN
    AND EASTERN SAMOA,

23
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WE GOT TO SECURE
        FOR SANTA'S ARRIVAL.

24
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[ Signal Pulsing ]
    JUST AS WELL. I'M GETTING
    TIRED OF THIS WOOD SHOW.

25
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[ All Grunting ]

26
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COVER THAT FIREPLACE,
        CONFOUND YOU!

27
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I'VE ONLY A FEW YEARS TO LIVE.
I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THEM DEAD.

28
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WE'RE PUSHING AS HARD
        AS WE CAN.

29
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OH, PUSHING!

30
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AAH! OH!

31
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OH, WE'RE DOOMED!
        EVERY YEAR WE'RE DOOMED.

32
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THANKS BE I HAD THESE
BULLETPROOF SHUTTERS INSTALLED.
[ Beeping ]

33
00:02:08,078 --> 00:02:10,545
WHOA! AAH!

34
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♪♪ [ "Deck The Halls" ]

35
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BRING IT ON, SANTA!
    THAT BLOODTHIRSTY CADAVER
    JUNKIE CAN'T TOUCH US...

36
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AS LONG AS WE'RE
        NOT STUPID ENOUGH
        TO LEAVE THIS BUILDING.

37
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ALL RIGHT!
                UH-HUH!

38
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IN A RELATED MATTER,
YOU'LL BE DELIVERING THIS
SACK OF CHILDREN'S LETTERS...

39
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DIRECTLY TO SANTA AT
HIS DEATH FORTRESS ON NEPTUNE.

40
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[ Engine Laboring ]

41
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THESE LETTERS ARE
            REAL BUTT NUTTERS.
            LISTEN TO THIS ONE.

42
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-"DEAR SANTA--"
-[ Girl's Voice ] PLEASE, PLEASE
 DON'T BRING ME ANY GIFTS.

43
00:02:51,355 --> 00:02:54,389
THE BICYCLE YOU FIRED
        AT ME LAST YEAR
        FROM YOUR BICYCLE GUN...

44
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REALLY TORE UP
        MY INSIDES.

45
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AWFUL. LET'S READ SOME MORE.
"DEAR SANTA--"

46
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:02,814
[ Boy's Voice ]
    PLEASE BRING ME
    A COFFIN FOR GRANDPA.

47
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,317
YOU CHOKED HIM WITH
    A CHESTNUT LAST YEAR,

48
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:09,520
AND HE'S BEGINNING
TO SMELL A LOT LIKE XMAS,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

49
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,506
[ Chair Creaking ]

50
00:03:11,575 --> 00:03:13,524
IT'S NOT FAIR!

51
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:16,561
IN MY DAY, XMAS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER,
NOT BLOW THEM APART.

52
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SURE, BUT WHO'S GONNA DO
    ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

53
00:03:19,183 --> 00:03:23,068
CERTAINLY NOT US.
    NO, SIR.
CERTAINLY YES US. UH-HUH, SIR.

54
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WE'VE GOTTA BRING BACK
THE KIND OF XMAS I REMEMBER.

55
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,942
FRY'S RIGHT.
    IT'S TIME TO SIT
    ON SANTA'S LAP, AND HARD.

56
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<i>[ Machine Gun Fire ]</i>
<i>[ Dog Barking ]</i>

57
00:03:45,175 --> 00:03:48,944
OH, LOOK. A CUTE
LITTLE WELCOMING PARTY.

58
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[ Coughing ]
        HEY, WANNA BUY
        A TINY LITTLE KIDNEY?

59
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,433
I'LL LET YOU PUNCH ME
        FOR A BUCK.

60
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:58,986
LOOK. WE'VE GOT MAIL FOR SANTA.
ARE YOU HIS ELVES?

61
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WE'RE NOT ELVES.
 WE'RE NEPTUNIANS.

62
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WE'RE JUST SHRIMPY
    BECAUSE HE DOESN'T FEED US.

63
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YOU HIT ME.
         YOU OWE ME A DOLLAR.

64
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,880
[ Dogs Growling ]
    AAH! AAH!

65
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,716
[ Grunting, Muttering ]

66
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,303
HELP. YOU GOT
                ANY FOOD?

67
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OLD TEA BAGS, CHEWED GUM,
    APPLE CORES?

68
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COME ON!
            WE'RE STARVING HERE!

69
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:24,045
-BUT YOU LIVE
 IN A GINGERBREAD HOUSE.
-IT'S FOOD OR SHELTER, NOT BOTH.

70
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YOU LAZY RUNTS.
            DON'T YOU GET PAID
            FOR MAKING THE TOYS?

71
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,769
- WHO SAID "TOYS"?
- TOYS? SOMEONE SAID "TOYS"?

72
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,754
FALSE ALARM, FOLKS.

73
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,174
THERE'S NO REASON TO MAKE TOYS,
SINCE SANTA JUDGES EVERYONE
TO BE NAUGHTY.

74
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THAT'S IT. I'M GONNA DELIVER
    A GIFT OF MY BOOT UP SANTA'S
    CHIMNEY. WHERE IS HE?

75
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,500
THERE, IN HIS ICE FORTRESS.

76
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,454
<i>[ Thunder Rumbling ]</i>

77
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:53,141
WE'LL NEED HELP GETTING IN.
    ANY VOLUNTEERS?

78
00:04:57,180 --> 00:05:00,115
I'LL HELP YOU.
                AW, PHOOEY.

79
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:13,295
♪♪ [ Barking "Jingle Bells" ]

80
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,799
[ Squawks ]

81
00:05:19,202 --> 00:05:22,037
AN OMEN?
    DINNER.

82
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<i>[ Thunderclap ]</i>

83
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,242
[ Sinister Laughter ]

84
00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:30,244
LET'S SEE
    WHO'S BEEN NAUGHTY...

85
00:05:30,314 --> 00:05:32,913
AND WHO'S BEEN NAUGHTY.

86
00:05:32,982 --> 00:05:34,933
OH! OH! OH!

87
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MOBSTERS BEATING UP A SHOPKEEPER
FOR PROTECTION MONEY.

88
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VERY NAUGHTY.

89
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[ Groaning ]
SHOPKEEPERS NOT PAYING
THEIR PROTECTION MONEY.

90
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:47,396
EXACTLY AS NAUGHTY!

91
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,167
I SAW THAT!

92
00:05:52,236 --> 00:05:54,235
HUH?

93
00:05:54,304 --> 00:05:57,873
- WE BROUGHT YOU MAIL.
    - DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK?

94
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:01,042
WHO KNOWS WHAT NAUGHTY THINGS
I COULD BE WATCHING?

95
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:04,629
- I GET NEW ORLEANS
      ON THIS THING, YOU KNOW.
    - DON'T KILL US!

96
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:09,551
SANTA'S A ROBOT.
            SO WE SHOULD BE ABLE
            TO DESTROY HIM...

97
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,586
WITH A LOGICAL
                PARADOX.

98
00:06:11,655 --> 00:06:13,838
BENDER, YOU BETTER
            COVER YOUR EARS.

99
00:06:15,359 --> 00:06:18,026
HOLY NIGHT! INTRUDERS!

100
00:06:19,162 --> 00:06:22,747
HOLD IT, SANTA.
            [ Humming ]

101
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:26,717
CONSIDER THIS:
YOU ARE PROGRAMMED
TO DESTROY THE NAUGHTY.

102
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,754
BUT MANY OF THOSE YOU DESTROY
ARE, IN FACT, NICE.

103
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,423
I SUBMIT TO YOU
THAT YOU ARE NAUGHTY...

104
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,260
AND THAT, LOGICALLY,
YOU MUST DESTROY YOURSELF.

105
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,796
[ Gibbering ]

106
00:06:40,183 --> 00:06:41,883
YEA!
        [ Laughing ]
        YEA!

107
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,770
NICE TRY,
    BUT MY HEAD WAS BUILT...

108
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,273
WITH PARADOX-ABSORBING
    CRUMPLE ZONES.

109
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AAH!
            AAH!

110
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[ Humming, Yelling ]

111
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[ All Screaming ]

112
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,390
[ Beeping ]

113
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:08,843
-<i> [ Bender Yelling ]</i>
    - [ Screaming ]

114
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:14,199
WAIT. THIS IS WHAT
    WE'RE RUNNING FROM.

115
00:07:18,888 --> 00:07:20,855
FASTER! FASTER!

116
00:07:20,924 --> 00:07:23,324
WHOA! OH!
                AAH!

117
00:07:24,928 --> 00:07:28,196
AAH!
            AAH!

118
00:07:28,265 --> 00:07:30,431
[ Screaming ]

119
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,219
[ All Screaming ]

120
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,622
[ Screaming Continues ]

121
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OOF!
            [ Blubbering ]

122
00:07:41,077 --> 00:07:43,361
[ Engine Starting ]

123
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:46,431
<i>[ Rockets Firing ]</i>
    WHY AREN'T WE MOVING?

124
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:50,885
I DON'T KNOW.
USUALLY WHEN I DO STUFF
LIKE THIS, THE SHIP MOVES.

125
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,674
HO, HO-- HUH?

126
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,798
[ Grumbling ]

127
00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:06,184
[ Grunting ]

128
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,887
HE'S TRAPPED!
[ All ]
HOORAY!

129
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:15,359
- NOW WE CAN MAKE TOYS AGAIN.
- [ All ] TOYS! TOYS! TOYS!

130
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:19,097
AND I CAN DELIVER THEM.
        BILLIONS AND BILLIONS
        IN ONE NIGHT.

131
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,850
HA! NO HUMAN
        COULD DO ALL THAT.

132
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,485
- EVEL KNIEVEL COULD.
    - NUH-UH!

133
00:08:24,554 --> 00:08:27,272
SANTA'S RIGHT.
WE NEED SOME SORT OF ROBOT.

134
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:32,176
AW, CRAP!
    I'M SOME SORT OF ROBOT.

135
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,546
[ Neptunians ]
        HOORAY!

136
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,549
<i>HOORAY!</i>

137
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,867
<i>HOORAY!</i>
<i>OOH!</i>

138
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,874
BENDER CAN'T BE SANTA.

139
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:49,244
HE WASN'T BUILT TO
    YULETIDE SPECIFICATIONS.

140
00:08:49,312 --> 00:08:53,814
OH, YEAH? WELL, I WASN'T BUILT
TO STEAL LEELA'S PURSE EITHER,
BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP ME.

141
00:08:53,883 --> 00:08:57,902
BENDER!
BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW SANTA!

142
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,904
[ Neptunians ]
OUR HERO!

143
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:02,357
[ Bells Jingling ]
    ♪ WE ARE FREE
      AND FAIRLY SOBER ♪

144
00:09:02,426 --> 00:09:04,375
♪ WITH SO MANY TOYS
          TO BUILD ♪

145
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,761
♪ THE MACHINES
      ARE KINDA TRICKY ♪

146
00:09:06,829 --> 00:09:08,763
♪ PROBABLY SOMEONE
      WILL BE KILLED ♪

147
00:09:08,832 --> 00:09:11,016
♪ BUT WE GLADLY WORK
      FOR NOTHING ♪

148
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:14,819
♪ WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE
      WE DON'T INTEND TO PAY ♪

149
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,556
♪ THE ELVES ARE
      BACK TO WORK TODAY ♪

150
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,660
HOORAY!

151
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:25,847
♪ WE HAVE JUST A COUPLE HOURS TO
  MAKE SEVERAL BILLION GIFTS ♪

152
00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:28,132
♪ AND THE LABOR
          ISN'T EASY ♪

153
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,401
♪ THEN YOU'LL ALL WORK
  TRIPLE SHIFTS ♪

154
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,737
♪ YOU CAN MAKE THE JOB
          GO QUICKER ♪

155
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,841
♪ IF YOU TURN UP THE CONTROLS
  TO SUPERSPEED ♪

156
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:40,494
[ Tempo Quickens ] ♪ IT'S BACK
TO WORK ON XMAS EVE ♪
    [ Panting ] HOORAY.

157
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:44,265
♪ AND THOUGH YOU'RE COLD
       AND SORE AND UGLY ♪

158
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:47,519
♪ YOUR PRIDE
      WILL MASK THE PAIN ♪

159
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:51,005
♪ LET MY HAPPY SMILE
      WARM YOUR HEART ♪

160
00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:54,242
♪ THERE'S A TOY
          LODGED IN MY BRAIN ♪

161
00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:57,829
♪ WE ARE GETTING AWFULLY TIRED
  AND WE CAN'T WORK ANY FASTER ♪

162
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:01,499
♪ AND WE'RE VERY, VERY SORRY ♪
            ♪ WHY, YOU SELFISH
              LITTLE BASTARDS ♪

163
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:05,653
♪ DO YOU WANT THE KIDS
  TO THINK THAT SANTA'S JUST
  A CRUMMY, EMPTY-HANDED JERK ♪

164
00:10:05,722 --> 00:10:09,557
- OW!
    - ♪ THEN SHUT YOUR YAPS
        AND BACK TO WORK ♪

165
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,095
♪ NOW IT'S
      VERY NEARLY XMAS ♪

166
00:10:14,164 --> 00:10:16,847
♪ WE'VE DONE THE BEST WE COULD ♪
        ♪ THESE TOY SOLDIERS
          ARE POORLY PAINTED ♪

167
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,833
♪ AND THEY'RE MADE
  FROM INFERIOR WOOD ♪

168
00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:22,453
♪ I SHOULD GIVE YOU ALL
      A BEATING, BUT I REALLY
      HAVE TO FLY ♪

169
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,857
♪ IF I WEREN'T STUCK HERE
      FROZEN, I'D HARPOON YOU
      IN THE EYE ♪

170
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:29,577
♪ NOW IT'S BACK
  INTO OUR TENEMENTS
  TO DROWN OURSELVES IN RYE ♪

171
00:10:29,646 --> 00:10:33,664
♪ YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD
      I GUESS, AND SOME OF
      THESE GORILLAS ARE OKAY ♪

172
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,249
HOORAY!
WE'RE ADEQUATE!

173
00:10:35,318 --> 00:10:38,553
♪ THE ELVES HAVE RESCUED
      XMAS DAY ♪♪
            HOORAY!

174
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,010
GIDDYAP.

175
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,806
DUH, GEE, BENDER,
    HOW'RE YOU GONNA GET
    THROUGH THESE BARS?

176
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,575
I DON'T KNOW, MORON.
    SUPPOSE I BEND 'EM?

177
00:11:01,645 --> 00:11:03,911
DUH, OKAY.

178
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:06,181
OW!
                <i> MOMMY! MOMMY!</i>

179
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,016
- SANTA'S THROUGH THE PERIMETER!
- THIS IS IT, KIDS!

180
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,535
TAKE YOUR SUICIDE PILLS
        SO YOU WON'T SUFFER!

181
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,871
NO! WAIT!
I'M THE GOOD SANTA.

182
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,941
I'VE GOT TOYS,
AT VERY REASONABLE PRICES.

183
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:20,795
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
HE'S THE FATHER OF ALL LIES
AND THE UNCLE OF ALL TRICKS.

184
00:11:20,864 --> 00:11:23,147
BUT I COME BEARING
    TRI-OMINOS.

185
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:27,785
- GO FOR THE SHINS!
    - AAH! OW, OW, OW, OW! OW!

186
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,291
[ Groans ]
        ONE DOWN.

187
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:43,218
[ Gasps ]
WELL, HELLO THERE, HANDSOME.

188
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,470
WON'T YOU HAVE A... COOKIE?

189
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,856
AH, DON'T MIND IF I DO.
        HEH!

190
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,909
OW! WHAT'S IN THESE THINGS?

191
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:54,846
WHY DON'T YOU SLIP
INTO SOMETHING MORE FIERY?

192
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:58,199
OW! OH! YAH!

193
00:11:58,268 --> 00:12:00,485
OW! AAH!

194
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:04,439
<i> [ Yells, Grunts ]</i>
    <i> OW.</i>

195
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,477
YO, KRINGLE!
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, DAWG?

196
00:12:10,546 --> 00:12:13,948
OH, IT'S AWFUL, KWANZABOT.
    EVERYONE HATES ME.

197
00:12:14,017 --> 00:12:16,868
[ Scoffs ]
AT LEAST THEY UNDERSTAND YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

198
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,903
AIN'T NOBODY DOWN
WITH THIS KWANZA TIP.

199
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,823
HEY, MAYBE YOU CAN LEND ME
A HAND WITH THESE DELIVERIES?

200
00:12:21,892 --> 00:12:26,143
[ Imitates Buzzer ]
    NO TIME. I GOT TO HAND OUT
    THE TRADITIONAL KWANZA BOOK.

201
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:32,183
[ Sighs ]
I'VE BEEN GIVING THESE OUT
FOR 647 YEARS.

202
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,626
[ Growls ]

203
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,727
AH, BATHTUB EGGNOG.

204
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,564
JUST THE WAY
    GRANDMA USED TO DRINK.

205
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,833
[ Slurps ]
        EWW! IT WENT SOUR!

206
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,904
CAN'T I HAVE
A SCENTED BATH IN PEACE?

207
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,123
REMEMBER, PROFESSOR,
            BENDER IS SANTA.

208
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,260
SO WE DON'T NEED
            TO HURT HIM, RIGHT?
    YES, YES, YES!

209
00:12:59,328 --> 00:13:01,579
YOU SOUND LIKE
    A BROKEN MP3.

210
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:04,698
HO, HO-- OW!

211
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:07,902
PROFESSOR! DON'T YOU
    REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU?

212
00:13:07,971 --> 00:13:09,904
NO!

213
00:13:09,972 --> 00:13:11,973
[ Groans ]

214
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:17,779
OH, THERE'S GOTTA BE
A BETTER WAY.

215
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:26,170
BENDER, YOU'RE A GENIUS.
[ Sinister Laughter ]

216
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:30,441
THIS CREATES AN UNREALISTIC
    STANDARD OF BEAUTY.
    [ Snorts ]

217
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:34,161
NOW IT'S TIME FOR SANTA
    TO SCREW OPEN<i> HIS</i> PRESENT.

218
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,700
IT'S SANTA,
        AND WE GOT HIM CORNERED.

219
00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:42,220
OH, I SMELL
A JUICY PROMOTION FOR ME.

220
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,889
AND A JUICY REHIRING BACK
    ONTO THE FORCE FOR ME.

221
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,342
HEY, WH-- WHAT?

222
00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:56,851
THIS XMAS DAY SESSION OF COURT
WILL COME TO ORDER.

223
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,419
THE HONORABLE
JUDGE WHITEY PRESIDING.

224
00:14:00,823 --> 00:14:04,509
SANTA CLAUS, YOU STAND ACCUSED
OF CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY.

225
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,511
HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

226
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,863
NOT SANTA.
            THERE HE IS AGAIN!

227
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,882
[ Whimpers ]

228
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:15,786
NOW, PRAMALA, I KNOW IT'S SCARY
IN THAT THERE WITNESS BOX,

229
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,673
BUT 'TAIN'T NO NEED
TO FEAR ME.

230
00:14:18,741 --> 00:14:20,691
[ Clucks Loudly ]
                        AAH!

231
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,261
I'M SORRY.
I THOUGHT YOU WAS CORN.

232
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:28,065
NOW, WOULD YOU PLEASE POINT
AT THAT ROBOT OVER THERE?

233
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,001
[ Spectators Murmuring ]

234
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,286
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

235
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:37,691
[ Peeping ]
DADDY DONE GOOD, HUH?

236
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:41,795
ISN'T IT TRUE THAT
            YOU HAVE BEEN PAID
            FOR YOUR TESTIMONY?

237
00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:44,599
YES. YOU GAVE ME A DOLLAR
AND SOME CANDY.

238
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:47,301
AND YET YOU HAVEN'T SAID
        WHAT I TOLD YOU TO SAY.

239
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,386
HOW CAN ANY OF US
            TRUST YOU?

240
00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:53,607
QUIT BADGERING THE WITNESS.

241
00:14:53,676 --> 00:14:56,544
BADGER? WHERE?
        [ Clucking ]

242
00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,531
WHEREAS I HAVE A HAM DINNER
    WITH MAYONNAISE...

243
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,800
WAITING FOR ME
        AT MY MANSION,

244
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,852
I FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY.

245
00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:09,007
- [ All Gasp ]
    - SANTA CLAUS,
      I HEREBY SENTENCE YOU...

246
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,076
TO BE EXECUTED
                AT SUNDOWN.

247
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,728
- OH!
    - IT'S NOT FAIR.

248
00:15:14,797 --> 00:15:17,882
I JUST HOPE THAT DUMB CHICKEN
IS ASHAMED OF HIMSELF.

249
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:21,285
[ Crowing ]

250
00:15:26,242 --> 00:15:29,009
DEACTIVATED ROBOT WALKING!

251
00:15:29,078 --> 00:15:31,946
WE GOT A DEACTIVATED
            ROBOT WALKING HERE.

252
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,765
[ Whirring ]

253
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:38,869
HEY, SANTA, WHEN YOU
        SEE THE ROBOT DEVIL,
        TELL HIM I'M A-COMIN'.

254
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:43,690
HEY, THAT GUY SAID
TO TELL YOU THAT--
                    I HEARD HIM.

255
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,816
♪♪ [ "Pop Goes The Weasel" ]

256
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:55,086
GREETINGS, MASTERS!

257
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:58,039
MY COMPANION AND I
            MADE LOTS OF TOYS.

258
00:15:58,108 --> 00:16:00,040
OUT OF MY WAY, SHRIMPO.

259
00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:02,426
WE'RE HERE TO BRING
    SANTA BACK SO WE CAN PROVE
    BENDER'S INNOCENCE.

260
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:05,129
[ Buzzing ]

261
00:16:06,782 --> 00:16:10,985
DO WHAT YOU WILL,
    BUT WE'LL SEE
    WHO HAS THE LAST "HO."

262
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:14,872
[ All Grunting ]
THERE.

263
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,874
OH, NO!
        THE ICE IS MELTING!

264
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:20,477
THE POLLUTION FROM THE FACTORY--
IT CAUSED A GREENHOUSE EFFECT.

265
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:23,630
- THAT WOULD EXPLAIN THIS HEAT.
- AND YOUR BREEZY SHORT SHORTS.

266
00:16:23,699 --> 00:16:26,100
UH, YEAH, THAT
            WOULD EXPLAIN IT.

267
00:16:26,169 --> 00:16:28,553
[ Roars ]

268
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,454
[ All Screaming ]

269
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,229
[ All Screaming ]

270
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:43,517
<i>[ Machinery Humming ]</i>

271
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,803
[ Panting ]

272
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:48,456
[ Muttering, Grunting ]

273
00:16:48,525 --> 00:16:50,741
[ Grunting ]

274
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,245
<i> [ Santa Grunts ]</i>
            <i> OH!</i>

275
00:17:01,037 --> 00:17:04,571
<i>HURRY! WE'VE GOTTA THINK</i>
<i>OF ANOTHER WAY TO SAVE BENDER,</i>
<i>OR XMAS WILL BE RUINED.</i>

276
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,808
ESPECIALLY FOR BENDER.

277
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,730
LOOK OUT, EARTH.

278
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:16,467
I'M DREAMING
        OF A RED XMAS.

279
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:20,204
[ Evil Laughter ]

280
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:29,046
AH, GOOD OLD MAGGIE.
HUH? EH.

281
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:32,917
WHEN I PULL THE SWITCH,
THESE POWERFUL ELECTROMAGNETS
WILL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB,

282
00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:35,419
KILLING YOU IN THE MOST
HUMANE POSSIBLE MANNER.

283
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,656
BUT, MR. MAYOR,
    THAT DOESN'T SOUND HUMANE!

284
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,725
IT IS FOR THE WITNESSES
BECAUSE IT'S NOT BORING.

285
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:50,384
THE INSTANT THIS RANDOM
NUMBER GENERATOR REACHES ZERO,
YOU'LL BE EXECUTED.

286
00:17:50,453 --> 00:17:53,604
- [ Groans ]
            - TEN.

287
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:55,873
THREE.

288
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,125
TWELVE. THREE AGAIN.

289
00:17:58,194 --> 00:18:00,812
- STOP THE EXECUTION!
        - LEELA!

290
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:05,249
- FIFTEEN. NEGATIVE EIGHT.
- YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG SANTA,
  AND I'LL PROVE IT.

291
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,751
I'M SANTA CLAUS.
                    [ Gasping ]

292
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:11,372
- WHAT? TWENTY-SEVEN.
    - NO, I'M SANTA CLAUS.

293
00:18:11,441 --> 00:18:14,375
- SIX?
    - [ Low-pitched Voice ]
      WE'RE ALSO SANTA CLAUS.

294
00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:16,544
AND I'M HIS FRIEND JESUS.

295
00:18:16,613 --> 00:18:20,680
YOUR MAYORNESS,
IF YOU EXECUTE HIM,
YOU HAVE TO EXECUTE ALL OF US.

296
00:18:20,749 --> 00:18:23,951
YOU PEOPLE AREN'T SANTA.
        YOU'RE NOT EVEN ROBOTS.

297
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:27,905
NINETY-ONE.
            HOW DARE YOU LIE
            IN FRONT OF JESUS.

298
00:18:27,957 --> 00:18:30,057
HEY, ZERO.

299
00:18:30,126 --> 00:18:32,210
[ Electronic Humming ]

300
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,894
NO! STOP THE MAGNET!

301
00:18:33,963 --> 00:18:36,630
[ Voice Quavering ]
        ♪ SWING LOW ♪

302
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:40,000
♪ SWEET CHARIOT ♪

303
00:18:40,069 --> 00:18:43,403
♪ COMIN' FOR
      TO CARRY ME HOME ♪

304
00:18:43,472 --> 00:18:45,789
-<i> ♪ SWING LOW ♪♪</i>
        - THIS IS HORRIBLE.

305
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,842
BUT IT'S NOT BORING.

306
00:18:49,112 --> 00:18:51,912
HO, HO, HO!

307
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,749
OH!

308
00:18:55,818 --> 00:18:57,751
[ All Screaming ]

309
00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,370
MY GOD, THE REAL SANTA!
        GET HIM, JESUS!

310
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:03,473
I HELP THOSE
WHO HELP THEMSELVES!
[ Whimpering ]

311
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:08,162
SANTA! YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.

312
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:12,449
HA, HA, HO, HO, HO!
            I'M NOT HERE
            TO KILL YOU, BENDER.

313
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,703
I NEED YOU TO HELP ME
        SAVE XMAS.

314
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,590
GEE WHIZ, SANTA.

315
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,926
YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU?

316
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:26,047
- DON'T DO IT! HE'S EVIL!
    - I KNOW HE IS,
      BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE.

317
00:19:26,115 --> 00:19:30,284
I'M RUNNING LATE,
        AND IF I DON'T COMPLETE
        MY BRUTAL RAMPAGE,

318
00:19:30,352 --> 00:19:33,120
WELL, IT JUST
            WOULDN'T BE XMAS.

319
00:19:33,189 --> 00:19:35,122
I GUESS WHAT
                I'M ASKING IS,

320
00:19:35,191 --> 00:19:39,393
BENDER, WON'T YOU JOIN
        MY SLAYING TONIGHT?

321
00:19:39,461 --> 00:19:42,146
WELL, 'TIS THE SEASON.

322
00:19:59,215 --> 00:20:01,882
[ All Screaming ]

323
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:04,502
AAH!

324
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:07,371
MY HAIR!
            MY WEDDING CAKE!

325
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,307
[ Laughing ]
                LET IT SNOW!

326
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:15,346
MERRY XMAS, KIDS.
    [ Grunts ]

327
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,664
<i> [ Grunting ]</i>

328
00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:20,167
AAH!

329
00:20:20,236 --> 00:20:22,903
[ Laughing ]

330
00:20:25,575 --> 00:20:27,308
THIS WANGS CHUNG.

331
00:20:27,377 --> 00:20:30,911
AFTER ALL THE GOOD WE TRIED
TO DO, XMAS TURNED OUT
AS ROTTEN AS EVER.

332
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,980
NO HEAT.
                    NO POWER.

333
00:20:33,049 --> 00:20:37,001
HUDDLED TOGETHER IN FEAR,
    LIKE LICE IN A BURNING WIG.

334
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,921
WAIT A SECOND.
MAYBE YOUR FUTURISTIC XMAS
ISN'T SO ROTTEN, AFTER ALL.

335
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:44,491
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, YOU CROUTON?
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.

336
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,362
XMAS SHOULD BE ABOUT
BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER,
NOT BLOWING THEM APART.

337
00:20:48,431 --> 00:20:51,348
BUT DON'T YOU SEE?
FEAR HAS BROUGHT US TOGETHER.

338
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,333
THAT'S THE MAGIC OF XMAS.

339
00:20:53,402 --> 00:20:56,236
THAT'S A BIG CROCK OF--

340
00:20:56,305 --> 00:20:58,472
HOLD ME.

341
00:21:05,381 --> 00:21:09,349
ON, TRASHER!
     ON, SMASHER!

342
00:21:09,418 --> 00:21:12,469
- HEY, KWANZABOT.
      WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO?
    - YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT IT?

343
00:21:12,538 --> 00:21:15,889
CHANUKAH ZOMBIE'S HAVING
    A LUAU AT THE B'NAI B'RITH.
    YOU COMIN'?

344
00:21:15,958 --> 00:21:18,559
WORD.

345
00:21:18,628 --> 00:21:22,195
BY THE WAY, BENDER,
        HERE'S A SMALL TOKEN
        OF MY APPRECIATION...

346
00:21:22,264 --> 00:21:25,115
FOR BEING SANTA WHILE
    I WAS TRAPPED IN THE ICE.

347
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:27,718
OOOH!
    [ Chuckling ]

348
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,587
HEY, CHIEF, YOU SCREWED UP.
THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE.

349
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:34,475
OH, IT MIGHT APPEAR EMPTY,
BUT THE MESSAGE IS CLEAR.

350
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,560
PLAY SANTA AGAIN,

351
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:39,780
AND I'LL KILL YOU NEXT YEAR.

352
00:21:39,849 --> 00:21:43,851
AAH!

353
00:21:44,988 --> 00:21:50,708
HO, HO, HO!

353
00:21:51,305 --> 00:22:51,660
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