The Sting
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[SIREN WAILS]
A hush comes over the crowd.
The onIy sound is Bender caIIing everyone eIse a jerk as he swings!
And he sIices into the water! Man!
[GROANS]
Boy, I teII you, buddy.
Bad news, everyone! You're not good enough to go on your neXt mission.
-Hooray! -Not good enough!
-Why? Says who? -Because. And says me.
It's an eXtremeIy dangerous mission that kiIIed my Iast crew.
-And you're not nearIy as good as them. -Woo-hoo!
We Iive to suck another day!
[SINGING ]
Oh. . . .
We're just as good as any of those other crews you sent to their deaths.
-What's the mission? -CoIIecting honey, ordinary honey.
-That doesn't sound so dangerous. -This is no ordinary honey!
It's produced by vicious space bees.
A singIe sting of their hideous neurotoXin can cause instant death!
That's if you're not aIIergic. You don't wanna know what happens then, no, no.
Your insides wiII boiI out of your eye sockets Iike a science fair voIcano!
I didn't want to know!
These bees are Iarger than most Buicks and twice as ugIy.
Larger than an American sedan? How big is the honeycomb?
Honeycomb's big. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-It's not smaII? -No, no, no.
It'II take more than deadIy, deadIy bees to keep us from doing our job.
-Come on, boys. -But, LeeIa, we're no good.
Listen, I'm scared too. But I'm more scared of disappointing myseIf.
I'm not scared of that at aII.
Now, bees communicate by dancing.
Like my parents! Oh, wait, that was hitting.
LEELA: So this Ianguage cartridge wiII Iet you distract them.
Ah, good. I often have thoughts that can onIy be eXpressed through dance.
[BUZZING ]
Bender, quick! WaggIe something!
[BUZZING ]
LeeIa, Iet's turn back. There's absoIuteIy no shame in wussing out.
ReIaX, everything'II be fine.
Oh, my God! The oId PIanet EXpress ship!
There's the bIack boX.
MAN 1 : Captain! The bees have us surrounded! oh, the professor was right!
-We're not as good as his old crew! MAN 2: Well, I aim to prove him wrong.
It'll take more than a few deadly, deadly bees to-- oh, Lord!
[SCREAMING ]
I couIdn't make that out. Too much static.
BENDER: Eww.
We found it! The honeycomb hideout!
-Hey, what's this goop? -RoyaI jeIIy. They feed it to the queen.
Bees make honey and jeIIy?
How come nothing humans make tastes good?
[YELLS]
HeIp! I can't swim in jeIIy, as far as I know!
Look! It's a baby queen!
She's so cute! You adorabIe, wittIe, itty-bitty, fuzzy, wuzzy--
LeeIa, stop bonding and Iet's go! I got jeIIy in my underpants!
I'm taking this bee with us.
With a queen, we can buiId a hive and make more honey ourseIves.
Let me just pack her a Iunch and we'II go.
Pick up the pace, Iady!
I'm sick of shaking my booty for these fat jerks.
[BEES BUZZING ]
I didn't mean you're aII fat. Just Fatso there.
[BENDER YELLING ]
HeIp!
This is where we distinguish ourseIves from the Iast crew.
Activate emergency high-speed, seIf-contained escape pack. . .
. . .crisis response units. Quick!
[SCREAMS]
[BENDER YELLING ]
FRY: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ah! Ooh! Ah!
LEELA: Good Iuck, Bender!
I'm back, baby!
-We made it! We're aIive! -Burn on that oId crew!
The onIy things they did better than us were suck and die.
LeeIa, we got Iucky this time, but you shouId be more carefuI.
-I don't want anything to happen to you. -Thanks, but I can Iook out for myseIf.
-FrankIy, I can smeII danger a miIe away. -Look out!
You want her? You're gonna have to go through me!
You caII that a wound? That's a boo-boo, tops.
But thanks for trying to save me, Fry. Fry?
[LEELA GASPS]
He's. . . .
He's dead.
Oh, who wiII make Bender waffIes just the way he Iikes them now?
It was aII my fauIt! He died because of me!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm Iying to make her feeI better.
Husband, can't you go anywhere without Iighting something up?
It's an oId Jamaican accounting tradition. We burn his timecard.
That way his zombie doesn't come back Iooking for his finaI paycheck.
He Iooks so naturaI.
It's funny to think he's crammed fuII of sawdust and preservatives.
I onIy wish I couId've removed the stinger.
[GONG SOUNDS]
I bareIy knew PhiIip. But as a cIergyman. . .
. . .I have no probIem teIIing his most intimate friends aII about him.
Soothe us with sweet Iies.
It may comfort you to know Fry's death took onIy 1 5 seconds.
Yet the pain was so intense that it feIt to him Iike 1 5 years.
And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his boweIs.
[GASPING ]
We now commend Fry's body to the ages.
He's waIking on sunshine now.
This makes me the oIdest member of my famiIy.
Him do good snu-snu.
Eh. . . .
AII those times I said, ''KiII aII humans,'' I'd aIways whisper, ''eXcept one. ''
Fry was that one, and I never toId him so!
FareweII from the worId of tomorrow!
They say a spoonfuI of space honey heIps ease the pain.
Mm.
It's good.
I feeI funny. Ha-ha funny.
Huh?
-LeeIa? -Fry? I thought you were dead.
Nope, I'm better than ever. Before the accident, I couIdn't do this:
Impressive! But it does sort of support my you-are-dead theory.
Then I'II prove I'm aIive by teIIing you something onIy I couId know.
There's a surprise for you in my Iocker.
I got it at a Swedish noveIty shop before we Ieft.
It's too beautifuI to open. Can I open it?
Sure. There's just one thing I want you to do.
-What? -I want you to wake up.
Wake up? But I'm not--
[NIBBLER YELPS]
In my dream, Fry said he hid a gift for me in his Iocker.
If it's true, then he must stiII eXist in some form.
Of course he stiII eXists. As a frozen corpse in outer space.
Oh, I made myseIf sad.
WeII, here goes.
-Oh. . . . -Bupkis.
[WHISTLES]
WeII, I feeI better now.
Pawning aII the stuff in Fry's Iocker heIped give me cIosure.
-Was there a gift for me? -No, nothing. Not at aII.
No way, José. Here it is.
-You took this from Fry's Iocker? -The guy's dead.
There's no Iaw against grave robbing.
[LEELA GASPS]
[SQUEAKS]
That proves it! Fry is aIive somewhere and he's reaching me in my dreams!
BuII pies!
Lay down here and we'II do some tests.
If Fry is out there somewhere. . .
. . .LeeIa's brain couId be acting as a five-pound Ouija board.
-Is this some sort of brain scanner? -Some sort, yes.
In France, it's caIIed a ''guiIIotine. ''
Professor! Can't you eXamine my brain without removing it?
Yes, easiIy.
Hey, what if Fry wasn't actuaIIy dead when we buried him?
-You know, Iike JuIia Roberts. -WeII, I suppose there's a sIim--
[BEEPING ] [GASPING ]
I don't beIieve it!
What is it? Is Fry aIive in some other dimension or something?
No! According to this Gizmometer, Fry is dead and nothing can bring him back.
-RemarkabIe! -But, my dream!
Your science can't un-prove that. How couId I have known. . .
-. . .the gift was in Fry's Iocker? -Easy.
He toId you about it before he died and your grief-roasted mind bIocked it out.
Are you saying I'm going crazy?
No, no. No one's saying that. But I'm certainIy thinking it IoudIy.
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
Hi, LeeIa. I'm just gonna keep taIking even if you can't hear me.
-BIah, bIah, bIah. BIah, bIah, bIah-- -Shut up! I can hear you!
The professor says you're just a dream.
Oh, yeah? CouId a dream take you dancing in a Vanusian garden?
WeII, yes, technicaIIy. But it's stiII very sweet of you.
Then what if we shared a midnight sIeigh ride across the ice fieIds of Hyperion?
Oh, Fry, you must be aIive.
I've never been treated so romanticaIIy by my own imagination before.
Here, take my jacket. You Iook a IittIe coId.
Thank you. It's aII so beautifuI.
I forgot how many hundreds of degrees beIow zero it must be.
I just wish I couId convince the others you're aIive.
You can! AII you have to do is wake up.
No, no! Don't say that! This is reaI!
[NIBBLER YELPS]
Not another dream!
Fry's jacket! The one he was buried in!
My dream was reaI! He's aIive!
[BANGING ON WALL]
WOMAN: Quit your bragging! My boyfriend's aIive too.
[THUDDING ] Oh, not anymore.
[SCREAMING ]
That's better.
Fry's aIive! I have proof!
-What? -You do not!
I'm from Jamaica, the ''Show Me'' isIand.
So show me you bIowing it out your fanny.
But he gave me his jacket. Look!
That's not Fry's jacket. Fry's jacket is red.
That's your jacket. An off-the-rack Iime-green affair.
But Fry-- His jacket-- And when I woke up it was on me!
You're under a Iot of guiIt stress, LeeIa. Here, work it out.
I am not under stress, damn it!
FARNSWORTH'S VOICE: Everything's going to be aII right, LeeIa.
What?
AMY'S VOICE: Everything's going to be aII right.
Maybe I am freaking out a IittIe.
A IittIe? You're screwier than my Aunt Rita, and she's a screw!
I need to caIm down. I better take some more of that space honey.
You've been taking space honey? Be carefuI, you purpIe-haired imbeciIe!
One spoonfuI caIms you down. Two spoonfuIs heIp you sIeep.
But three spoonfuIs, and you'II go into a sIeep so deep. . .
. . .you'II never wake up. Never!
FARNSWORTH'S VOICE: Never! AMY'S VOICE: Never!
One spoonfuI to caIm me down.
Okay, I got a pretty good caIm going.
Two spoonfuIs to heIp me sIeep.
Uh-oh. StiII awake. I guess one more spoonfuI couIdn't hurt.
Oh, my gosh! I better get a sponge!
Fry? Is that you? I don't need a sponge!
Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
IncredibIe! According to the Gizmometer, Fry touched the royaI jeIIy. . .
. . .in the space hive, Ieaving an imprint of his DNA and brain waves.
Then, when it spiIIed on the couch. . .
. . .it recombined with trace amounts of Fry's hair and skin--
And bIood! Don't forget about Fry's bIood.
Yes, Bender, thank you.
In short, the various fIuids Fry Ieft in the couch. . .
. . .caused the royaI jeIIy to regenerate his entire being!
-Neat. -This is great!
My buddy's aIive and his credit cards are vaIid again.
Let's go get hammered!
[CHEERING ]
I shouId warn you, I'm a mean drunk.
-Fry, I'm so gIad I didn't kiII you. -Me too.
FeeIing responsibIe for your death was driving me mad.
-But now everything is aII right. -Not everything.
-What? What do you mean? -You have to wake up.
Wake up? Oh, no. No! It can't be!
Poo!
I'm cracking up. In my dreams I'm happy because Fry is aIive.
But when I'm awake my mind pIays tricks on me.
-Take it easy, LeeIa. -In every Iife we have some troubIe.
But when you worry, you make it doubIe.
[SINGING ''DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY'']
-Uh, were you just singing? -No, I was teIIing you not to worry.
I'm not aIIowed to sing. Court order.
I'II find Fry's coffin, get his corpse. . .
. . .and keep it under my mattress to remind me he's dead.
That'II prove I'm not insane.
[STRAUSS' ''ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA'' PLAYS]
Okay, it's just an ordinary coffin. . .
. . .containing my ordinary dead friend, who I kiIIed!
What happened? Why am I in my apartment?
You kiIIed Fry!
-You kiIIed Fry! -Stop it!
Stop it!
You kiIIed Fry.
[BENDER YELLS]
Okay, I'm insane. But I'm stiII sane enough to know it.
The onIy time I feeI aII right is in my dreams with you.
Three spoonfuIs, then I can dream forever.
One.
Two.
Here goes. Goodbye, waking worId.
LeeIa, no! Listen to me!
You don't want to Iie in bed and do nothing the rest of your Iife.
-I've tried it. Bedsores hurt! -Then what am I supposed to do?
-Fight it! -I can't!
You can! The LeeIa I know doesn't give up this easiIy.
Okay, I'II try.
[BUZZING ]
Go away!
I don't know if you can hear me. But there's something I wanna teII you.
-I Iove you. -I'm so scared, Fry!
-I don't know what to do! -Just wake up, LeeIa. PIease.
-Just wake up. -I don't understand what you mean!
Just wake up. PIease. Just wake up, LeeIa.
-Fry. You're aIive. -LeeIa! You're awake!
Of course I'm awake. You wouIdn't stop waking me. Where am I?
In a hospitaI. The ambuIance took you here after the bee stung you.
But the bee stung you. It bareIy touched me.
The stinger went through me and you got aII the poison.
My new spIeen came from a guy who Iiked to motorcycIe. Vroom, vroom.
Sweet three-toed sIoth of ice pIanet Hoth, she's awake!
[CHEERING ]
You were in the best coma I've ever seen!
The doctor said you'd never wake up.
-ReaIIy? How Iong was I out? -Two weeks.
Fry never Ieft your side for a minute.
And he taIked nonstop. Like a parrot of the sea, he was.
I thought maybe if you heard a famiIiar voice. . .
. . .it might heIp keep your mind together.
-But who knows if it reaIIy got through? -It got through, Fry.
It got through.
LEELA: You couId reaIIy use a shower. FRY: You too.
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