1 00:00:07,533 --> 00:00:09,046 Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV 2 00:00:09,213 --> 00:00:10,202 FARNSWORTH: Oh, my. 3 00:00:10,373 --> 00:00:15,322 BENDER: Here we go, y'all! ZOIDBERG: Zoidberg, Zoidberg. Zoidberg. 4 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:22,488 BENDER: This is a story about all my friends. 5 00:00:22,653 --> 00:00:25,884 FARNSWORTH: Goodbye. Goodbye. 6 00:00:29,693 --> 00:00:33,322 ANNOUNCER: Previously on All My Circuits: 7 00:00:33,693 --> 00:00:38,608 I'm sorry, Father. But somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be your son. 8 00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:43,893 -Why, Antonio? -Because. . . . I have amnesia! 9 00:00:44,093 --> 00:00:46,243 [MOANING] 10 00:00:47,693 --> 00:00:51,732 -Calculon! But I thought you were-- -Egyptian? 11 00:00:51,893 --> 00:00:54,726 Before I kill you, I must ask you one question: 12 00:00:54,893 --> 00:00:55,882 Who am l? 13 00:00:56,053 --> 00:00:59,523 For I have. . . . Amnesia! 14 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:04,323 Let me get this straight. Does anyone here not have amnesia? 15 00:01:04,573 --> 00:01:07,929 MONIQUE: Not sure. -I don't know. 16 00:01:08,093 --> 00:01:12,848 This show is awesome! When I grow up, I'm gonna have so much amnesia. 17 00:01:13,013 --> 00:01:15,846 Me too! I mean, I have it now. But I forgot. 18 00:01:16,013 --> 00:01:20,325 -Well, mine's louder! -Cram a ham in it, you twerps! 19 00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:22,927 -Sorry. -I had it coming. 20 00:01:24,893 --> 00:01:28,932 Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous! 21 00:01:29,093 --> 00:01:32,881 Nude rock bands, big piles of what I assume is talcum powder. 22 00:01:33,053 --> 00:01:35,203 It's quite a birthday party, Calculon. 23 00:01:35,373 --> 00:01:39,082 Cool! I'm gonna have a fabulatious birthday party just like Calculon! 24 00:01:39,253 --> 00:01:43,007 Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna show up looking good just like Monique. 25 00:01:43,173 --> 00:01:46,006 Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV? 26 00:01:46,213 --> 00:01:48,807 We're 1 2. So, yes. 27 00:01:48,973 --> 00:01:51,203 Hold up, Cubert. You're a clone of the professor. 28 00:01:51,373 --> 00:01:53,329 Do clones even have birthdays? 29 00:01:53,493 --> 00:01:55,085 Duh. 30 00:01:55,493 --> 00:01:57,768 Duh what? 31 00:01:58,893 --> 00:02:00,770 [GRUNTING] 32 00:02:02,493 --> 00:02:04,688 Dad? Do I have a birthday? 33 00:02:04,893 --> 00:02:08,727 Hmm. You didn't have a birth, so technically, no. 34 00:02:09,013 --> 00:02:12,050 -Hmm. FARNSWORTH: Oh, don't feel bad. 35 00:02:12,213 --> 00:02:15,683 We can celebrate the day I extracted you from the cloning tank. 36 00:02:15,853 --> 00:02:20,005 Or the day I scraped your DNA from that growth on my back. 37 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,050 -That one! -Yes. 38 00:02:22,213 --> 00:02:27,333 It was 1 3 years ago next week. I used this very fork. 39 00:02:27,493 --> 00:02:29,848 Oh, well, isn't that-- 40 00:02:30,013 --> 00:02:32,402 Hey. Next week'll be my birthday too! 41 00:02:32,573 --> 00:02:35,963 That's true! lf only there were a way to have one party for both of you. . . 42 00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:39,091 . . .here at the office, then write it off as a business expense. 43 00:02:39,253 --> 00:02:41,847 Wait! I thought of a way! The way I just said! 44 00:02:42,013 --> 00:02:43,969 -Yeah! -Way to go, Pops! 45 00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:46,852 BENDER: Something's happening on television! 46 00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:48,771 [GASPING] 47 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:55,203 Oh, Monique. Why did we wait so many years to bathe in champagne? 48 00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,613 [SCREAMS] 49 00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:05,041 Father! I've discovered the shocking secret... 50 00:03:05,213 --> 00:03:07,443 ...Mother has kept from you for 200 years! 51 00:03:07,613 --> 00:03:09,046 No! No! 52 00:03:09,213 --> 00:03:11,681 Brace yourself, for when I speak these words... 53 00:03:11,853 --> 00:03:15,528 ... you may well suffer an attack of explosive amnesia! 54 00:03:15,693 --> 00:03:20,562 For you see, the horrible secret is-- 55 00:03:20,773 --> 00:03:22,445 [GROANING] 56 00:03:26,213 --> 00:03:29,285 Whoever's directing this is a master of suspense! 57 00:03:35,853 --> 00:03:40,404 He's busteds. Let's get hims out of heres. 58 00:03:44,453 --> 00:03:47,251 ANNOUNCER: We nowjoin America 's most popular show in progress: 59 00:03:47,413 --> 00:03:50,962 Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad! 60 00:03:51,133 --> 00:03:53,089 [BUZZING] 61 00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:57,012 This show's been going downhill since season three. 62 00:04:03,053 --> 00:04:07,365 Look who's here, everyone! It's Zoidberg, the lovable tramp! 63 00:04:08,573 --> 00:04:11,212 Since when are you performing at children's parties? 64 00:04:11,373 --> 00:04:17,448 Performing? What? Please, if someone could spare me money to buy shoes? 65 00:04:17,613 --> 00:04:18,887 -This party pukes. -Yeah! 66 00:04:19,053 --> 00:04:21,726 The guests were supposed to be here three hours ago. 67 00:04:21,893 --> 00:04:26,205 Well, that doesn't mean that no one is coming or that you two are total losers. 68 00:04:26,373 --> 00:04:27,408 Who gave you that idea? 69 00:04:27,573 --> 00:04:28,562 [DOORBELL RINGS] 70 00:04:28,733 --> 00:04:31,042 All right! They must've all come as a group! 71 00:04:31,213 --> 00:04:37,209 Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous! 72 00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:40,161 Huh? 73 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:44,042 Good day, fellows. Someone dumped this invitation in my begging cup. 74 00:04:44,213 --> 00:04:46,329 Happy growth-scraping day to all! 75 00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:48,330 [SIGHING] 76 00:04:48,493 --> 00:04:51,053 --fire them all. 77 00:04:53,373 --> 00:04:58,572 Guys. Guys. Something's happening on television again! 78 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,965 Welcome to Entertainment and Earth lnvasion Tonite. 79 00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:13,331 Across the galaxy my people are completing a mighty space fleet... 80 00:05:13,493 --> 00:05:18,203 ... that will exterminate the human race! But first, this news from Tinsel Town. 81 00:05:18,373 --> 00:05:21,206 Following Antonio Calculon Jr. 's breakdown on the set... 82 00:05:21,373 --> 00:05:25,252 ... the popular TV show All My Circuits will hold an open casting call... 83 00:05:25,413 --> 00:05:27,324 ...for child robots to replace him. 84 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,848 An open casting call for child robots? 85 00:05:30,013 --> 00:05:32,083 Tinny Tim! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 86 00:05:32,253 --> 00:05:35,609 -What's that, sir? -That l, Bender, am perfect for the role! 87 00:05:35,773 --> 00:05:40,051 You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo! 88 00:05:44,853 --> 00:05:47,606 [SQUEAKING] 89 00:05:47,853 --> 00:05:50,970 Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far. 90 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,522 There's a lot of famous child acting units here. 91 00:05:53,693 --> 00:05:55,604 Look, there's Macaulay Culkon! 92 00:05:56,813 --> 00:06:00,203 He's just not cute since he got puberty installed. 93 00:06:00,373 --> 00:06:03,888 There's that robot child actor who grew up and robbed the convenience store. 94 00:06:04,053 --> 00:06:06,123 And there's that robot child actor who grew up. . . 95 00:06:06,293 --> 00:06:08,648 . . .and became a convenience store. 96 00:06:08,813 --> 00:06:11,486 Lottery ticket, please. 97 00:06:13,213 --> 00:06:17,445 We're ready for the first audition. "Emote-atron Jr. "? 98 00:06:17,613 --> 00:06:21,128 Hold on, precious. Let's make you look nice for the lady. 99 00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:23,409 What's this? What did I tell you? 100 00:06:23,573 --> 00:06:26,406 No. . .more. . .hanging. . .wires! 101 00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:29,486 In this scene, you've just found out your real father. . . 102 00:06:29,653 --> 00:06:34,249 . . .is Calculon's fourth evil identical septuplet, Sleazy Martinez. 103 00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:36,768 Okay? Take us there! 104 00:06:37,013 --> 00:06:40,369 Now that I know the truth, Father, I must ride south. . . 105 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:43,366 . . .and join the robo-bandidos at Veracruz! 106 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:48,288 BENDER: Boo! Boo! This kid sucks! We want Bender! Boo! 107 00:06:48,453 --> 00:06:52,605 Well, I thought he was good, but the audience seems to have turned on him. 108 00:06:52,773 --> 00:06:54,252 -But I don't think-- -Next! 109 00:06:56,213 --> 00:07:00,331 --at Veracruz. So if you'll kindly hand me my poncho-- 110 00:07:00,493 --> 00:07:04,042 BENDER: Boo! Bring on Bender! Boo! Bender's the greatest! 111 00:07:04,213 --> 00:07:06,329 Sorry, kid. You're flailing up there. 112 00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:08,205 [SCREAMS] 113 00:07:09,893 --> 00:07:13,283 Ninety actors and they all got booed. 114 00:07:13,453 --> 00:07:16,365 I just wish we could get this Bender I keep hearing about. 115 00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:18,205 They say he's the greatest. 116 00:07:18,373 --> 00:07:21,922 Well, there is a robot named Bender here, but he's much too old for-- 117 00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:23,526 Send him in forthwith! 118 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,412 Boo! Not as good as Bender! Boo! 119 00:07:26,573 --> 00:07:27,562 Mr. Bender? 120 00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:28,722 [GASPING] 121 00:07:28,973 --> 00:07:32,488 -Have you ever been on TV before? -Once, when I took those hostages. 122 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:36,248 I saw that. You were good. Let's hear you audition. 123 00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,847 "Bandidos"? Oh, this is great. 124 00:07:40,013 --> 00:07:44,723 Because I happen to have a flawless Spanish accent. 125 00:07:44,893 --> 00:07:51,002 I will see. Adiós, Padre. Come, Jesus, my faithful chihuahua. 126 00:07:51,173 --> 00:07:56,008 Tonight we eat guacamole by the EI Rio! 127 00:07:56,173 --> 00:07:58,971 That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer! 128 00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:03,251 I don't care how popular you are, you will never work on my show! 129 00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:06,291 FRY: Yay, Bender! LEELA: We demand Bender! 130 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:10,048 However, you've got the job. Welcome aboard, son! 131 00:08:10,213 --> 00:08:12,773 Father-O! 132 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:20,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 133 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:25,771 I'd like you to meet our director, whose name I never learned. 134 00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:29,562 Yo. I read the script, and I think it would help my character's motivation. . . 135 00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:32,645 -. . .if he was on fire. -Don't worry about the script, baby. 136 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,202 We rewrote your part to suit your acting abilities. 137 00:08:35,373 --> 00:08:38,729 So now my character has a British accent? 138 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:42,408 No, now your character's in a coma. Get in bed and don't move. 139 00:08:42,613 --> 00:08:44,649 [MUMBLING] 140 00:08:45,413 --> 00:08:46,732 And action! 141 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:49,726 Stupid dumb coma. I could've been British. 142 00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:55,763 Alas that mine only son should sink into an irreversible, permanent. . . 143 00:08:56,493 --> 00:08:57,608 . . .coma. 144 00:08:57,773 --> 00:09:01,686 Permanent? That's completely out of character for Antonio. I'm getting up. 145 00:09:01,853 --> 00:09:04,447 Curse the tragic wildebeest accident that-- 146 00:09:04,613 --> 00:09:08,208 Hey, everyone! Antonio here, but you can call me Bender! 147 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:12,332 I got ants in my butt and I needs to strut! Come on, baby! 148 00:09:12,493 --> 00:09:14,404 [HUMMING] 149 00:09:15,893 --> 00:09:18,043 Come on! 150 00:09:19,093 --> 00:09:22,324 I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing. 151 00:09:22,493 --> 00:09:25,007 Bite my shiny metal ass! Yeah! 152 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,687 Come on, baby, yeah. Come on, yeah! 153 00:09:27,853 --> 00:09:32,085 Cut! That's the worst coma acting I've ever seen. We'll have to shoot it again. 154 00:09:32,253 --> 00:09:35,165 No. No, no, no. I don't do two takes. 155 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:38,643 -But this guy was-- -Amateurs like you do two takes. 156 00:09:38,813 --> 00:09:42,886 I do one take. Print it. I'll be in my three-story trailer. 157 00:09:44,173 --> 00:09:49,850 Bite my shiny metal ass! Yeah! Come on, baby, yeah! Come on, yeah! 158 00:09:50,013 --> 00:09:52,971 Now, that's hospital dancing! Pretty good, hey, Calcy? 159 00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:57,172 Good? I've seen better acting from extras in Godzilla movies. 160 00:09:57,373 --> 00:09:58,362 [WHISTLING] 161 00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:00,046 CALCULON: I didn't shoot this. 162 00:10:00,213 --> 00:10:03,250 We didn't. That's security camera footage from your dressing room. 163 00:10:03,413 --> 00:10:06,211 He stole the scene and my money? That's it! 164 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,841 I demand you fire this felonious ham! 165 00:10:09,013 --> 00:10:10,890 [SIREN WAILING] 166 00:10:11,053 --> 00:10:14,409 -The network execu-bots are coming! -Oh, dear God! 167 00:10:19,693 --> 00:10:23,288 Presenting the president of the network! 168 00:10:25,573 --> 00:10:27,723 [MODEM BUZZING] 169 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:30,726 PRESIDENT: Greetings, gentlemen. You already know my execu-bots. 170 00:10:30,893 --> 00:10:33,726 Executive Alpha, programmed to like things it has seen before. 171 00:10:33,893 --> 00:10:35,565 -Hey, hey, hey. -Executive Beta. 172 00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:39,089 Programmed to roll dice to determine the fall schedule. 173 00:10:39,613 --> 00:10:41,012 More reality shows! 174 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:44,848 And Executive Gamma, programmed to underestimate Middle America. 175 00:10:45,013 --> 00:10:47,891 It's funny, but is it going to get them off their tractors? 176 00:10:48,053 --> 00:10:51,409 Now, who put this obnoxious dancing robot on my network? 177 00:10:51,573 --> 00:10:53,882 -We were about to fire him, sir. -Silence, hack! 178 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:56,647 We've been monitoring our Nielsen families carefully. 179 00:10:56,813 --> 00:11:00,522 And during the 12 seconds Bender was on-screen, viewer eyeball focus... 180 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,048 ... was up 90 percent! 181 00:11:03,213 --> 00:11:04,441 [PANTING] 182 00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:07,167 But, sir, children watch this show. 183 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,893 Bender's no role model. He's a filthmonger. 184 00:11:10,053 --> 00:11:12,009 At our network, we love filth. 185 00:11:12,173 --> 00:11:16,052 Filthy rich, that is. Being filthy rich, that is. 186 00:11:16,213 --> 00:11:18,204 [PRESIDENT LAUGHING] 187 00:11:21,053 --> 00:11:23,203 [LAUGHING] 188 00:11:23,453 --> 00:11:26,445 "Bite my shiny metal ass" could be a catchphrase. 189 00:11:26,613 --> 00:11:29,491 -Eighty percent likely. -It will play in Peoria. 190 00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:31,086 BETA: Game shows are back! 191 00:11:31,253 --> 00:11:34,609 We need this edgy, sweeps-ready robot on our network! 192 00:11:34,773 --> 00:11:38,846 Bender, can you continue to drink, smoke and steal things on TV? 193 00:11:39,013 --> 00:11:40,890 Yes, I can. 194 00:11:41,053 --> 00:11:43,521 [BAND PLAYS "WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TV PARTY TONIGHT"] 195 00:11:59,613 --> 00:12:02,332 TINY TIM-BOT: Yeah, shooting! DWIGHT: All right! 196 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,045 [LAUGHING] 197 00:12:11,653 --> 00:12:14,167 Yo. Check out what I jacked from my dad. 198 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,324 -A cigar?! -Ripping! 199 00:12:18,893 --> 00:12:22,169 Look. I'm Bender! 200 00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:28,211 Ras H. Tafari! What's going on here? 201 00:12:29,093 --> 00:12:33,609 -The ruffians smoked one of your cigars. -That's not a cigar! 202 00:12:33,773 --> 00:12:38,164 -And it's not mine. -Hey, Dad. Bite my shiny metal ass! 203 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:41,803 What? Such an act would be most uncomfortable for both of us! 204 00:12:41,973 --> 00:12:46,285 -Where did you learn such language? -From Bender, my good jerkwad. 205 00:12:46,453 --> 00:12:50,651 Bender? That guy's really starting to twist my dreads. 206 00:12:52,613 --> 00:12:56,652 -Okay, okay! Get ready for this part! -Quiet, robot. Bender's on TV. 207 00:12:57,453 --> 00:13:00,650 Oh, Calculon. It's so good to get away from the city... 208 00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,043 ...and that beastly yet intriguing Bender. 209 00:13:03,253 --> 00:13:04,242 [GASPS] 210 00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:09,244 And try this, kids at home! 211 00:13:11,773 --> 00:13:15,971 Is television sensation Bender a bad role model for Earth 's children? 212 00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:18,051 That's crazy. 213 00:13:18,213 --> 00:13:22,525 A new protest group, Fathers Against Rude Television, says "Hell, yes!" 214 00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:25,965 What kind of bozos would start a Bender protest group? 215 00:13:26,453 --> 00:13:31,288 Good news, everyone! Hermes and I have started a Bender protest group! 216 00:13:31,453 --> 00:13:32,568 That was uncanny. 217 00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:36,009 Fathers Against Rude Television don't want our kids watching Bender's. . . 218 00:13:36,173 --> 00:13:38,687 -. . .high-definition filth! -And for what? 219 00:13:38,853 --> 00:13:43,404 Some kind of cheap laugh? That's not what F.A.R.T. is all about. 220 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,643 No, sir! Not us F.A.R.T.ers! 221 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:50,011 You can't censor me just because I'm an obscenely bad role model. 222 00:13:50,173 --> 00:13:53,051 As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender. 223 00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:55,522 Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV. 224 00:13:55,693 --> 00:13:58,605 Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. 225 00:14:03,893 --> 00:14:07,203 Our dads are all pumped up on dork-osterone. 226 00:14:07,373 --> 00:14:11,366 -We're just trying to be cool, like Bender. -Yeah. And it's not even working. 227 00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:14,445 -Smoking and drinking make us barf. -Gentle jerkwads. . . 228 00:14:14,613 --> 00:14:18,526 . . .I know how to emulate Bender without barfing. We could commit a burglary. 229 00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:21,082 -Hey, yeah! -Bender loves to burgle! 230 00:14:21,253 --> 00:14:24,768 Hold up, though. Who could we rob? We don't know anyone with cool stuff. 231 00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:29,484 Duh. We know someone who runs on pure cool fuel: Bender! 232 00:14:29,693 --> 00:14:32,526 -Whoa! -We'll rob Bender! 233 00:14:32,693 --> 00:14:35,207 TV gave us the idea! 234 00:14:35,373 --> 00:14:36,931 BENDER: You're watching Futurama... 235 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:41,211 ... the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery. 236 00:14:48,733 --> 00:14:53,807 Okay. It's crime time. 237 00:15:02,173 --> 00:15:04,368 Hey, Bender. 238 00:15:04,693 --> 00:15:06,649 Hey, Bender. 239 00:15:07,213 --> 00:15:08,202 Hey, Bender. 240 00:15:09,573 --> 00:15:10,926 [PHONE RINGS] 241 00:15:11,173 --> 00:15:12,288 Hey, Bender. 242 00:15:12,493 --> 00:15:14,211 ["BUSTED" PLAYS] 243 00:15:32,613 --> 00:15:35,685 -Oh! -What's going on in here? 244 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:36,928 [MUSIC STOPS] 245 00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:40,211 Oh. Now I'm really outraged! 246 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:44,161 Where did you requisition this party? And Zoidberg, what are you doing here? 247 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:47,370 I'm networking. Let me give you my card. 248 00:15:47,533 --> 00:15:50,650 Relax, Dad. We just invited a few friends over. 249 00:15:50,893 --> 00:15:56,331 There's something wrong with your story, but I can't put my finger on it. 250 00:15:56,493 --> 00:15:59,007 Of course! You don't have friends! 251 00:15:59,173 --> 00:16:02,768 Yeah! Why do these popular kids consider you cool all of a sudden? 252 00:16:03,053 --> 00:16:05,692 -We're just cool, is all. -Balderdash! 253 00:16:05,853 --> 00:16:09,641 I'll be the judge of who's cool, using the Cool-o-meter! 254 00:16:09,853 --> 00:16:12,048 [BEEPING] 255 00:16:21,653 --> 00:16:23,530 COOL-O-METER: Oh, yeah! 256 00:16:23,693 --> 00:16:27,652 Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies. 257 00:16:27,813 --> 00:16:29,849 -Everybody out! ALL: Aw. . . . 258 00:16:31,653 --> 00:16:34,531 So do you guys know about anything else going on? 259 00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:38,572 Because I'm totally still ready to party. 260 00:16:38,813 --> 00:16:41,532 There's enough cool stuff here to furnish a happening pad. 261 00:16:41,693 --> 00:16:43,092 Where did it all come from? 262 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:47,212 Don't tell, comrades! All for one and one for all! 263 00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:50,012 -We stole it! -Oh, crumb. 264 00:16:51,693 --> 00:16:53,445 [YAWNS] 265 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,491 -What? What's going on? -I'll tell you what! 266 00:16:56,653 --> 00:17:01,044 Our boys have taken up stealing. One of the worst and coolest of crimes. 267 00:17:01,213 --> 00:17:04,091 And all from watching you on TV, you cool jerk! 268 00:17:04,253 --> 00:17:05,368 Hey, lay off me! 269 00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:08,843 TV would stink if everyone on it was a positive role model. 270 00:17:09,013 --> 00:17:12,528 Bender is about entertainment, baby! You can't hold me responsible. . . 271 00:17:12,693 --> 00:17:16,368 . . .for what kids do when-- Hey. This is my stuff they stole! 272 00:17:16,533 --> 00:17:20,367 That's the last straw! Bender should not be allowed on television! 273 00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:21,682 [CROWD MUMBLING] 274 00:17:21,853 --> 00:17:23,844 Bender must be stopped! 275 00:17:24,013 --> 00:17:27,050 I've gone too far! Who does that guy think I am? 276 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,851 -Yeah! -That's right! 277 00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:31,925 Come on! We're gonna march all the way to Hollywood. . . 278 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:35,608 . . .and make them stop forcing their filthy me down our throats! 279 00:17:35,773 --> 00:17:38,241 CROWD: Yeah! 280 00:17:54,853 --> 00:17:57,845 ALL: Down with Bender! Down with Bender! 281 00:17:58,013 --> 00:18:01,244 Down with Bender! Down with Bender! 282 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,369 -This mob's with me. -Go ahead. 283 00:18:04,253 --> 00:18:07,563 Down with Bender! Down with Bender! 284 00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:10,770 Down with Bender! Down with-- 285 00:18:13,453 --> 00:18:15,921 --Bender! Down with Bender! 286 00:18:16,093 --> 00:18:19,608 As a doctor and captain of this hospital ship. . . 287 00:18:19,773 --> 00:18:24,403 . . .I now pronounce you man and wife with six months to live. 288 00:18:25,373 --> 00:18:28,809 Listen up, Hollywood! We're an exciting new mob! 289 00:18:28,973 --> 00:18:30,770 ALL: Yeah! HERMES: You better believe it. 290 00:18:30,933 --> 00:18:32,082 Great Shatner's ghost! 291 00:18:32,253 --> 00:18:35,484 We demand that all TVs be equipped with a B-Chip. . . 292 00:18:35,653 --> 00:18:38,008 . . .that blocks Bender from appearing on the screen! 293 00:18:38,173 --> 00:18:39,322 -Boo-ya! ALL: Yeah. 294 00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:45,043 PRESIDENT: I'm afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face no. 295 00:18:45,213 --> 00:18:47,522 -Then I quit! -Then you don 't quit. 296 00:18:50,613 --> 00:18:53,252 I think you'll be finishing the scene now, Mr. Bender. 297 00:18:53,413 --> 00:18:55,324 And don 't skimp on the nasty. 298 00:18:55,493 --> 00:18:57,324 There'll be no further nasty! 299 00:18:57,493 --> 00:19:00,690 We still have the option of resorting to violence! 300 00:19:00,853 --> 00:19:03,572 -What makes you think that'll work? -I saw it on TV. . . 301 00:19:03,733 --> 00:19:07,885 . . .in that episode where Bender shot Calculon. How cool was that? 302 00:19:08,093 --> 00:19:09,970 Yeah! Come on! 303 00:19:10,133 --> 00:19:12,806 -Quit the show! -Do the scene. 304 00:19:12,973 --> 00:19:14,770 I'm a cold-blooded punk! 305 00:19:14,933 --> 00:19:18,323 I once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it. 306 00:19:18,493 --> 00:19:21,769 -Hey, look! The prop guy has a lamp! -Really? 307 00:19:22,013 --> 00:19:24,686 -Aha! -I was using that! 308 00:19:24,853 --> 00:19:27,287 Listen up, because I've got a climactic speech. 309 00:19:27,453 --> 00:19:29,762 You, cameraman, keep the camera rolling! 310 00:19:29,933 --> 00:19:32,845 -You, director! Give me my motivation! -You're angry. 311 00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:37,450 Perfect! Viewers of the world, do smoking and drinking on TV. . . 312 00:19:37,613 --> 00:19:40,844 . . .really make me cool? Of course they do! 313 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:45,131 How about committing crimes and violence? Again, the answer is yes. 314 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:49,292 But do we really want our kids exposed to that kind of trash on TV? 315 00:19:49,453 --> 00:19:52,684 -I say absolutely not! -Oh! 316 00:19:53,013 --> 00:19:54,685 [CLEARS THROAT] 317 00:19:54,973 --> 00:20:00,206 On the other hand, most, perhaps all, the blame rests with the parents. 318 00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:03,365 That's right, you! 319 00:20:03,613 --> 00:20:06,810 And so I ask you this one question: 320 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,852 Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV. . . 321 00:20:11,013 --> 00:20:12,844 . . .sitting down with your children. . . 322 00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:14,287 . . .and hitting them? 323 00:20:14,453 --> 00:20:17,525 -We're just so busy. -Well, make time. 324 00:20:17,693 --> 00:20:18,967 And cut! 325 00:20:19,613 --> 00:20:24,209 Good enough. Splice in some reaction shots of me and shove it on the air. 326 00:20:26,653 --> 00:20:30,089 Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV... 327 00:20:30,253 --> 00:20:32,164 ...sitting down with your children... 328 00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:33,527 ...and hitting them? 329 00:20:35,053 --> 00:20:38,807 Well, I'd say we all learned a valuable lesson about TV there. 330 00:20:38,973 --> 00:20:39,962 What was it? 331 00:20:40,133 --> 00:20:43,967 That we should all take TV a little less seriously. 332 00:20:44,133 --> 00:20:47,125 And more importantly, turn it off once in a while. 333 00:20:47,293 --> 00:20:49,011 -Hear, hear! -Darn right! 334 00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:50,970 So should we turn it off now? 335 00:20:51,213 --> 00:20:55,126 -Well. . . . That depends what's on. MAN: One now.... 336 00:20:55,293 --> 00:20:59,605 -Nothing good. -Let's just keep watching. 337 00:20:59,853 --> 00:21:01,571 [BUZZING] 338 00:21:04,733 --> 00:21:07,964 [CAST SINGS AND SHOUTS] 339 00:21:08,305 --> 00:22:08,757 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org