1
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:24,354
After centuries as a delivery
boy, nothing surprises me.

2
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,606
You stink, loser.

3
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,937
Hey, Fry!

4
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,364
Pizza going out!
Come on!

5
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,655
All right.
I'll take the Red Rocket.

6
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:53,293
Hello! Pizza delivery
for D. Frosted Wang.

7
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,253
Not another crank delivery!

8
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,760
Why don't I read these things
ahead of time?

9
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:01,971
One time was funny.

10
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,428
But every week for 10 years?
Not as funny.

11
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,807
True, not as funny.
But, still, somewhat funny.

12
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,983
And then they burst out
laughing a second time.

13
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:20,827
I've been a delivery boy
for a thousand years.

14
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,280
Isn't there any room
for promotion around here?

15
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,741
There'll be no promotions
unless somebody dies.

16
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:26,916
And even then,

17
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,837
only if we can't bring them
back as a zombie, like Scruffy.

18
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,999
Life and death are
a seamless continuum.

19
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,713
Well, could I at least
get some encouragement?

20
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,465
I could use
a shot in the arm.

21
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,009
I got shot in the leg!

22
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,138
Roberto! What are you doing here?

23
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,599
What? A fella can't
drop in on old friends

24
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,476
and hold them hostage?

25
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,353
I'm good. And you?

26
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,356
Attention, criminal robot
in the building!

27
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,903
Come out with your hands up!

28
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,272
Never!

29
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,614
Other guy.

30
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,488
Listen up, piggies,
I want a hovercopter,

31
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,240
and an unmarked sandwich,

32
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,494
and a new face with,
like, a Hugh Grant look.

33
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,791
And every five minutes
I don't get it,

34
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,620
someone's going to
get stabbed in the ass!

35
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,045
He's bluffing.

36
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,747
Ouch! He's not bluffing!

37
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,921
You call
for a chopper?

38
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:20,049
No, I specifically
said hovercopter!

39
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,804
One chopper coming up.

40
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,511
Hiya!

41
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,887
All right! Way to go.

42
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,774
You know, URL,

43
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,897
sometimes it's almost too much for me.

44
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,649
You mean,
the respect we get?

45
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,573
And the high level
of job satisfaction?

46
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,321
There's that,
but I'm also talking about

47
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,572
the non-stop promotions
and the free hot rod.

48
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,250
I do love
a man in uniform.

49
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,001
I mean, a uniform that
doesn't involve short pants.

50
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,501
I can see I have
no future here.

51
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,302
My only option is to
resign with dignity.

52
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,096
Here are my shorts.

53
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,515
Hello. I'd like to enroll
in Police Academy.

54
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,316
You think you can
just waltz in here

55
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,860
with no pants
and become a cop?

56
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:17,902
That's the plan.

57
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:18,978
I like you, kid.

58
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,280
I got no pants on, either.

59
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,528
I can see that. You're
quite a bit taller than me.

60
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,860
Welcome to
Police Academy.

61
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,361
Hi, I'm Fry.

62
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,412
I'm the Sound Effects 5000.

63
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,543
Wow. That would be impressive
if you were a human.

64
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,874
Yeah.

65
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,880
On your feet
for Chief O'Manahan.

66
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,211
At ease, cadets.

67
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,420
I'll make this
short and sweet,

68
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,426
'cause I'm PMSing
like a lumberjack.

69
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,508
Police Academy
is not for everybody.

70
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,635
You're gonna get
your boob scuffed.

71
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,846
But if you've got
the vulva to stick it out,

72
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,647
I'll be proud to call
you ladies "policemen."

73
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:55,975
Sir! Yes, ma'am!

74
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,192
Yeah. That's great.

75
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,403
Now, can you actually
turn on the ignition?

76
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,453
I don't have any hands.

77
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,426
Well,
it's that time of the month.

78
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,431
Graduation day.

79
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,855
So grow a pair and put them
together for our new officers!

80
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,068
Hooray for the pigs!

81
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,943
Graduates, you are
hereby officially cops.

82
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,070
Now move it along,
nothing to see here.

83
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,282
Hooray!
Free sky sticks!

84
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,414
Police brutality!

85
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,383
Nice. All right.

86
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,011
Before we head out, I'll be
teaming up our new officers

87
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,841
with their
ironically matched partners.

88
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,393
Sound Effects 5000,

89
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,345
you'll be with Cranski.

90
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:17,897
My tinnitus!

91
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,317
Fry, due to the unfortunate
loss of Officer Smith,

92
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:22,894
you'll be riding with URL.

93
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,356
And Smitty was just a
few days from retirement.

94
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:27,657
What happened?

95
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:30,486
He took a early retirement.
Damn.

96
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,498
Let's get down
to business.

97
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,577
Aren't you going to say,
"Good news, everyone"?

98
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:41,375
I just said that
for Fry's benefit.

99
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,879
Made the poor fellow feel
better about his pointless job.

100
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,551
As much as I miss him,

101
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,549
he didn't really serve
much purpose around here.

102
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,722
Though he did walk
Zoidberg.

103
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,764
In any case,
I've improved on Fry

104
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,971
by sticking some
wheels on a board,

105
00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:01,058
so Leela and Bender can easily
make the next delivery without him.

106
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,897
Neat. So, where we going?

107
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:04,861
Pandora.

108
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,688
That dangerous
3D planet?

109
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,489
Can't we just
send our avatars?

110
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,364
No, it's cheaper
just to have you die.

111
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,325
Whoa!

112
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,457
Fifteen miles over
the speed of light.

113
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:25,040
That's a violation of the law
of Lorentz invariance, baby.

114
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,466
Light 'em up.

115
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,194
Look out for that
particular individual!

116
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,902
An electric wall, eh?

117
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,034
I can't see
the harm in peeing on that.

118
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,712
Whoa!
Where'd my man learn that?

119
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,888
Sunny D commercial.

120
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,810
Let's refract
this sucker.

121
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,032
DNA and
career chip, please.

122
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,623
Erwin Schrödinger, huh?

123
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,796
What's in the box,
Schrödinger?

124
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,626
A cat, some poison
and a cesium atom.

125
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,426
The cat,
is it allve or dead?

126
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:53,720
Alive or dead?

127
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,130
Answer him, fool.

128
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,799
It's a superposition
of both states

129
00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,055
until you open it and
collapse the wave function.

130
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,561
Says you.

131
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,684
There's also a lot
of drugs in there.

132
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,159
So, you're a robot?

133
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,256
You boys did good.

134
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,675
Nailed a major violator
of the laws of physics.

135
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,963
He's going down.
Cat's gonna testify.

136
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,681
Guys like this
really bust my uterus.

137
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,349
You're both
getting a promotion.

138
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,302
Ever heard of
the Future Crimes Division?

139
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:43,807
Tomorrow, I have.

140
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,400
Oops.

141
00:08:58,496 --> 00:08:59,986
I can't make out a thing.

142
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,823
Well, I guess you should
have had two eyes.

143
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,575
Just deliver the package,
and let's get out of here.

144
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,002
Screw that! I ain't no delivery boy.

145
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,795
I'm the company chef.

146
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,332
You're the chef, are you?

147
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,884
Then why don't you make us
something nice to eat?

148
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,684
Here's your damn peanut
butter and jelly sandwich!

149
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,563
Now that we can predict crimes
with 99% accuracy,

150
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,144
we can arrest
most perpetrators

151
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,900
before they even
perpetrate anything.

152
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:38,400
That's ridiculous. Only
horoscopes can predict the future.

153
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,951
That's what we used to think.

154
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,279
Until we invented this.

155
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,670
Slow down, baby.

156
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:54,375
The Cybernetic Oracle. The
ultimate man-machine hybrid.

157
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,593
Programmed with
every crime ever recorded,

158
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,260
and implanted
with the brain cells

159
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,009
of history's
greatest detectives.

160
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,889
We call him Pickles.

161
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,475
On account of it's like
he's floating in a jar?

162
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:05,972
Exactly.

163
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:09,101
The Oracle's visions are
recorded on these colored balls.

164
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,607
Green is larceny.
Black is fraud.

165
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,685
Red, homicide.

166
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,065
What's pink polka-dots?

167
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,358
Clown slaughter.

168
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,482
It happens more often
than you'd think.

169
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,243
Floater in the bowl!

170
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,529
Red ball. Homicide!

171
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,613
Woo!

172
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,995
Suspect, male, 6'1".

173
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,248
Distinctive mustard stain
on his forehead.

174
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,584
My kajigger!

175
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,382
Victim, Hattie McDoogal.

176
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,552
Look, the clock says 5:08.

177
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,216
It's 4:30 right now.

178
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:49,229
Uh-oh. We only have a half hour
to chill out before we head over.

179
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,858
Oh, Hattie.

180
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:58,860
When I look into your one good
eye, I see a reflection of beauty.

181
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,065
Fresh.

182
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,776
Freeze, fool.

183
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,611
You're under arrest
for future murder!

184
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,661
Yeah?

185
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:09,741
You can't arrest me for future
murder after it's right now murder!

186
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,076
My kajigger!

187
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,377
So, he didn't
really want to marry me?

188
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,929
No. See, he knew you left
everything to your parakeets

189
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,052
in your will.

190
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,600
He was going to murder you,
marry your parakeets,

191
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,520
and then poison them with
an arsenic-laced cuttlebone.

192
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,773
Classic move.
Aw, yeah.

193
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,023
Congratulations
on your big bust.

194
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,194
You, too.

195
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:41,489
Keep it up, and you boys
might just make detective.

196
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:42,656
Now, if you'll excuse me,

197
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,234
I got to go
drop a big one.

198
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,945
Wow.
I can't believe it.

199
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,865
One more promotion,
and I'll be a real detective,

200
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,666
like Sherlock Holmes
or Speed Buggy.

201
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,963
Eight pounds.
I'm naming her Burt.

202
00:11:57,091 --> 00:12:00,709
Mazel tov, Chief. That's
a beautiful bathroom baby.

203
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,387
Ain't you
heading home, Phil?

204
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,217
In a minute. I just want to
finish this paperless work.

205
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,892
Don't stay up too late.

206
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,766
We got a lot of people
to shoot tomorrow.

207
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,978
Hello! Anyone?

208
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,655
There's never a cop around
when you need one.

209
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,276
Green ball. Larceny.

210
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,797
The thief seems to be
some sort of ghost.

211
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,499
Or is he?

212
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,341
Bender?

213
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,940
Ltem seven,
our corporate tax rate

214
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,109
remained unchanged
this fiscal year.

215
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,356
That's not funny.

216
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,938
It's not supposed to be funny.
It's a business meeting.

217
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,024
Things used to be funny
around here.

218
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,906
Noses were picked,
pants fell down.

219
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,282
So, what changed?

220
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:13,240
Only Fry could say,
and he's gone.

221
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,959
Hey. Bender and Leela
are back from Pandora.

222
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,286
How was it?
Awful.

223
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,212
We had nothing to say
to each other,

224
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,383
so we had to listen to Bender's
Eagles album for 27 hours.

225
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,839
Beats talking to you,
witchy woman.

226
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,886
Hey, he's back!

227
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,510
Look at you.
Hubba hubba.

228
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,137
Your pants go almost all
the way to your ankles.

229
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,843
Good afternoon,
individuals.

230
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,803
Sir, would you mind
stepping out of the building?

231
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,934
Normally, when a cop
asks me that,

232
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,312
I spray whip cream
in his eyes and run away,

233
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,610
but to ditch
these losers, gladly.

234
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:45,988
Bender,
be honest with me.

235
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,531
Are you planning
a big heist?

236
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,404
Usually, but not
at the moment.

237
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,986
I only ask 'cause the Oracle
thinks you're going to pull off

238
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,787
a major theft
next Thursday.

239
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,081
Next Thursday,
you say?

240
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,750
Pray, continue.

241
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,121
Are you familiar with
this particular location?

242
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,831
I may have a burgling
familiarity with it.

243
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,759
Does the word "Maltese"
mean anything to you?

244
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,336
The Maltese Liquor,

245
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,423
the strongest and most valuable
malt liquor ever brewed!

246
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,384
And soon it will be mine.

247
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,186
I'm sorry.
You were saying?

248
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,809
Bender, I'm only
telling you this

249
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,606
so you can avoid
committing the crime.

250
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:24,185
"Avoid committing the crime."
Got it.

251
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,692
You wrote
"Commit the crime!"

252
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,117
There's got to be
some way to stop Bender.

253
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,830
Maybe something
in the Oracle's prediction

254
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:39,125
that I missed before,
due to incompetence.

255
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,789
Wait. Who's
the trigger-happy jerk?

256
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,421
That's me!
I recognize the face.

257
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,600
You shot me!
You miserable dingus!

258
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,139
No! No!
What have I will have done?

259
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,978
Man, that's heavy.
Osmium heavy.

260
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,985
Are you going to turn me in
for concealing evidence?

261
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,734
Say what? You're my partner, home Fry.

262
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,237
Besides, I got
my own secrets.

263
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,992
Anything big
worth checking out?

264
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,288
Just your big
jangly booty, baby.

265
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,286
See you tonight, toots.

266
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,919
You and the chief?

267
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,255
Mmm-hmm.
We been getting it on.

268
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,212
Right there
in your chair.

269
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,964
I'm like, "Oh, baby!
Oh, baby!"

270
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:35,348
And she's like, "Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah."

271
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,931
I would never shoot Bender.
Never!

272
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,606
He taught me
how to shave.

273
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,353
Revision ball.

274
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,109
By deciding not
to shoot Bender,

275
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,064
you created
an alternate future.

276
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:57,279
I could never shoot you. Never!
You taught me how to shave.

277
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,453
See?

278
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,702
Just get out of here. Go!

279
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,040
Now, dig
the unintended consequences.

280
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,796
My friends,
let us share this booze

281
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,541
in a toast to
our dear friend, Bender.

282
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,017
Oops.

283
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:24,393
The Maltese Liquor
done destroyed their brains.

284
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,265
Fools should have known
it's fatal

285
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,942
for anyone but robots
and Billy Dee Williams.

286
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:33,238
So, if I don't shoot Bender
all my other friends will die?

287
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,776
Fate is a freaky mistress.
Much like the chief.

288
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:37,906
Look out!

289
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,454
Something's not right.
I refuse to believe it.

290
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,906
Rewind.

291
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:51,920
Ooh!

292
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,673
Are you the calloused
working man I ordered?

293
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,254
Uh... Sure.

294
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,257
In order to fix
your leaky roof,

295
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,594
I'll need to spend two or three
hours down here in the wine cellar.

296
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,680
I'll be upstairs
putting batteries in things.

297
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:09,934
Whoa!

298
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,395
The Maltese Liquor.

299
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:14,446
Forty ounces of heaven!

300
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,405
Here, boy.
This is for you.

301
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,951
Ahh!

302
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,740
Hmm...

303
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,382
Invisible safe, eh?

304
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,091
Yeah, baby!

305
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,097
210 proof.

306
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,804
That's all the proof
I need.

307
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,355
Put the bottle back.

308
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,395
We both know
I won't do that.

309
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,896
Either you're
going to shoot me,

310
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,819
or I'm going to spray
whip cream in your eyes

311
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,521
and walk out of here
like a big shot.

312
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,856
Bender, no!

313
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:59,237
You don't have to do something
just 'cause it's going to happen.

314
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,444
The future's making
a chump out of you.

315
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:04,747
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm going to
make a chump out of the future.

316
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,324
I'm not stealing anything!

317
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,498
Yes! I stopped the crime
without shooting you.

318
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,420
The Oracle was wrong.

319
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:12,713
Was I?

320
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,879
Pickles?
Yes.

321
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,585
It is I, Pickles.

322
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,136
I set
the whole thing up.

323
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,963
Everyone will think
Bender's the thief

324
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,845
while I make off
with that glorious brew.

325
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,726
Seriously? Why?

326
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,304
So I can kill
my human brain cells.

327
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,765
Do you have any idea
what a burden it is

328
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:33,101
to know everything
that will ever happen?

329
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,856
To never be surprised.

330
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,439
To know the punch line of
every joke hours in advance.

331
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,698
Like watching Leno.

332
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:43,282
And that is why I faked the
prediction of this crime.

333
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,825
Nevertheless,
stay with me here,

334
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:49,408
things will now happen
just as I fake predicted.

335
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,582
Bender, you're going
to hand me that bottle.

336
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,421
Not that one!

337
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:58,092
The real one, which you switched
when Fry stupidly looked away.

338
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,255
Hey.

339
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,095
Man. Why you got
to be so Oracle-y?

340
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,967
Fry, you are going to shoot Bender,

341
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,348
killing him and
shattering the fake bottle,

342
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,555
just as
I predicted.

343
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,439
Do it!
Lt is your destiny!

344
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,734
Funny thing about destiny.

345
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,441
Sometimes fate
has other plans.

346
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,400
Oh!

347
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,364
Nuts.

348
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,612
You shot me!

349
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,659
You miserable dingus!

350
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:27,747
And now the part
I didn't show you.

351
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,452
Oh!

352
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,084
Everyone will think
Bender killed you,

353
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,912
and I walk away
with the goofy juice!

354
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,462
Ah!

355
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:42,504
Finally, blissful ignorance.

356
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,180
I have no idea
what's going to happen next.

357
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,347
Did you
get that, Chief?

358
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:54,064
We got it all from behind
this prediction-proof glass.

359
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,776
But how could you know
my prediction was fake?

360
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,855
I knew something was wrong, but
I couldn't put my finger on it.

361
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,486
Then, it hit me.

362
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,533
You showed Bender

363
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,202
sharing the deadly booze
with our friends.

364
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,745
Bender would never share.

365
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,039
The very idea!

366
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,412
So we set up
this little charade

367
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:15,495
based on an episode
of Speed Buggy.

368
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,955
With the added benefit
of me and the chief

369
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,462
being locked
in a small room.

370
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,964
Shall we adjourn
to the dungeon?

371
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:32,311
Well, I got my shield
for stopping Bender.

372
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,857
But, then I got fired
for tipping off Bender.

373
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:42,237
Fry, we have no idea
what you do around here,

374
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,155
but we desperately
need you back.

375
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,025
Really?

376
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:49,032
I don't suppose there's any
chance I could get a promotion.

377
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:50,912
Sure. What the heck?

378
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,332
I hereby
promote you to

379
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,998
executive
delivery boy.

380
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,544
Executive?

381
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,087
Lt's a meaningless title.

382
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:02,542
But it helps insecure people
feel better about themselves.

383
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,594
I feel better about myself!

384
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,035
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