1
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,207
I got one!

2
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:47,081
Okay, kids. Put away the
dust motes till tomorrow.

3
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,336
It's story time.

4
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,299
Today's storyteller
is a space captain

5
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,798
who grew up right here
at the orphanarium.

6
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,380
Welcome back the bed-wetter
of Building D, Turanga Leela.

7
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:04,102
Hi, kids. What book would
you like me to read first?

8
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,271
We don't got books no more.

9
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:07,438
What?

10
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,603
He means "anymore."

11
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,731
Look, sometimes you got to
choose between eating and reading,

12
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,188
so they ate the books.
Just make something up.

13
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:18,697
Make something up?
Um. Okay.

14
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:22,154
Once upon a time,
there was a, uh...

15
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:23,913
Princess?

16
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,161
Yes! That!

17
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:32,002
A one-eyed princess
in a long, flowing tank top.

18
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,674
And she lived in
a magical one-room...

19
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:35,750
Castle?

20
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,757
Yeah, if you believe
the listing agent.

21
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:43,138
Anyhow, one day, the princess
went off to tell a story.

22
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:46,470
And then, that's exactly
what she did do, that.

23
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,307
And they all lived happily
ever after. The end.

24
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,767
Miss Leela?
I have a question.

25
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:52,817
Yes, Albert?

26
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:54,565
That story was bad.

27
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,188
That's not
really a question.

28
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,274
That wasn't
really a story.

29
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,111
I'm sorry, kids.
I'm not a natural storyteller.

30
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,868
But I promise, I'll make up a
better story and come back again.

31
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,199
Please don't.

32
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,875
See you soon.

33
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,252
I'm sure I've got a
great kids' story in me.

34
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:18,256
I just need to think of
three of some kind of animal.

35
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,128
Concentrate, Leela,
concentrate.

36
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,723
Fry, I'm writing here.
Do you have to play that?

37
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,225
Yes.
It's the only song I know.

38
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,646
Look, friends. I accidentally
learned to tap dance.

39
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,733
Zoidberg, I'm trying to...

40
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,825
Time for my 4:21 daiquiri!

41
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,199
Guys, guys, guess who just
got commissioned as a tugboat?

42
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,874
Oh, yeah!
Pachinko break!

43
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,122
Tokyo crazy balls!
Yes!

44
00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:02,255
Oh! Good, Leela, you're here.
I'd like to describe my foot pain.

45
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,595
My left has a sharp, jabbing
throb near the bunion,

46
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,052
while the other's got a
searing pain like gout.

47
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,387
Maybe it's too much albumin
because of gravity...

48
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:14,350
Ugh. Even if I had a pen, I couldn't
write under these conditions.

49
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,685
I'm going to some other planet
where I can concentrate.

50
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,398
Searing, searing pain that
feels as if it were in a vice.

51
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,653
Well, that was rude.

52
00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,452
Warden Vogel, I have a
new story for the children.

53
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,663
I'm sure they'll like it
more than my last one.

54
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,173
They liked hunger cramps
more than your last one.

55
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,626
Anyhow, you'll have to wait.
The kids are busy right now.

56
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,212
Is the organ-harvesting
clown here?

57
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,262
Nah, Rusty comes on
Tuesdays now.

58
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,932
Today it's the owner of the
Tickleodeon Kids Network.

59
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:51,978
Okay, kids, get ready to be
subjected to our new fall shows.

60
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,522
Mr. Funny-Bunny here
will gauge your reaction

61
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,976
by bombarding your brains
with harmless snuggle rays.

62
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:04,533
He gives me a nice, warm
feeling in my eyeballs.

63
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,744
Popular Slut Club.

64
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,004
Oh, my God.
There's Jake Finkelberg!

65
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,667
He's so hot.
I wish he wasn't my brother.

66
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:24,386
Popular Slut Club.

67
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,178
Look!
Up on the drive-thru menu!

68
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,810
Lt's Captain Mega Meat and
his young ward, Bottomless Boy.

69
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,935
Hurry, Captain!
A skinny kid needs our help.

70
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,611
Super-size me!

71
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:51,113
From the "Rowdy" Roddy
Piper Daycare Center

72
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:55,167
in Glasgow, Scotland, it's
Extreme Toddler Wrestling!

73
00:04:58,757 --> 00:04:59,963
Ahhh!

74
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,799
Thanks for
the brain scans, kids.

75
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,177
Don't have any children
for the next couple of days.

76
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,054
All right, boys and girls, enough fun.

77
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,307
Your old friend Leela is
back with a brand new story.

78
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,890
Hi. It's great to be back.
I think you'll enjoy this one.

79
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,934
No!
Please.

80
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,395
Can't we just get
our organs harvested?

81
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,484
Lt's about some
cute little creatures

82
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,736
from a land
called Rumbledy-Hump.

83
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,907
Kids, let's meet
the Humplings!

84
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,793
My name is Ladybuggle
and I huggle all my friends

85
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:41,501
I'm a silly spring named Doingg
and my bouncing never ends

86
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,044
Doingg, doingg, doingg

87
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:47,923
They call me Princess Num Num
I'm as sweet as sticky buns

88
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,295
I'm Feffernoose.

89
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,512
Hello.

90
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,431
I'm scared
of everyones

91
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,352
Feffernoose.
What about me?

92
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:58,180
Hey, it's Garbly.
Everyone loves him

93
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,436
'cause they can't
understand him.

94
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,108
Lt's nice to meet you.

95
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:06,400
We're here to make you laugh and
think and smile and learn and sing

96
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,152
And laugh
and learn and smile

97
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,279
And think
and other happy things

98
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,207
Say more things like that.

99
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,544
Okey doke.

100
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:26,966
One sunny, funny day, there was an
unfamiliar visitor in Rumbledy-Hump.

101
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:32,635
Today we learned that folks are
not as different as they seem

102
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,637
The space gorilla's
just like us

103
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,851
Although
I breathe chlorine

104
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:45,060
Wow, I can't believe you
imaginated all that stuff.

105
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,646
Will you come back again
and tell us more stories,

106
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,572
and also adopt us all?

107
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,526
Of course
I'll tell you more stories.

108
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,953
I'll go think
some up right now.

109
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,747
Holy moly!

110
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,626
Lady, you don't know me, but
my name is Abner Doubledeal.

111
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:05,080
Wait, I know you.
You're Abner Doubledeal.

112
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:08,008
I brain-scanned those little
nose-pickers during your story,

113
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,630
and, sister,
their enjoyment glands

114
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,302
were squirting like
Broadway road kill!

115
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,046
Aw! They were?

116
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,930
Say, you seem
like a smart mark.

117
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,929
How'd you like to
make it into a TV show?

118
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:20,641
Sign here on this
Supercuts coupon.

119
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,397
I don't know.

120
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:25,100
Don't I need a degree to
write gibberish for toddlers?

121
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:29,146
Come on, Miss Leela. Don't be
a 'fraidy cat like Feffernoose.

122
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:33,700
Okay. I'll do it to show you
kids you can succeed at anything,

123
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,949
if you just
luck out hard enough.

124
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:41,409
Welcome to the glamorous,
big-money world of basic cable TV!

125
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,209
I'm going to
need that pen back.

126
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:54,717
Working on a real TV show is so
exciting. I'm on a mostly natural high.

127
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,641
These costumes are gonna make
it hard to go to the bathroom.

128
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,308
I'm not having
any problem.

129
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,636
We're shooting
in five minutes,

130
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,142
and this Leela broad hasn't
even delivered a script yet!

131
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,473
Sweet zombie Jesus!

132
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:08,981
Like it's not hard enough to make a
freakin' TV show for under 50 bucks.

133
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,488
Damn it.
I'll call you back, Grandma.

134
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,486
Nice of you
to show up, toots.

135
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,533
I mean that sincerely. It's
just that I'm in showbiz.

136
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:20,614
Sorry, I went to my quiet place
to write. Here's the script.

137
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,376
Ugh. You writers make me sick.
Nice job on the script, though.

138
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,120
Places, everyone!

139
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,343
Okay. Cheap lights.
Off-brand camera.

140
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,884
And non-union action!

141
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:40,600
I like ice cream.

142
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,892
And I like lollipops.

143
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,942
And I like you,
Princess Num Num.

144
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,770
Ew!

145
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,322
I'm all licky-sticky!

146
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,861
I don't understand. When I
like something, I lick it.

147
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,784
Like this raccoon.

148
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,877
Doingg, don't lick things
that don't want to be licked.

149
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,546
But how do I know what to
lick and what not to lick?

150
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,123
Lt's very simple.

151
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,888
If it's alive,
don't lick it

152
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,842
Like a horse, a turtle or a cricket

153
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,385
I like turtles!

154
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,972
So, if you're not sure
if it's alive or dead

155
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:31,686
Poke it with a stick
and lick the stick instead

156
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,237
Now I get it!

157
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,564
Ow!

158
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,490
Well, that's all for today.

159
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:43,242
But before we go, let's do
everything we just did two more times.

160
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,032
Leela, that was great!

161
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:48,376
Even I have to admire the
performance of me, Bender.

162
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:51,296
The show looks so cute.
Kids will love it!

163
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:55,796
And it looks so cruddy, their ironic
hipster parents will "love it."

164
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,094
Thanks, guys,
but let's be realistic.

165
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,969
We all know any TV show that's
even slightly good gets canceled.

166
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,972
Sometimes
two or three times.

167
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:08,396
Leela! Tomorrow's ratings just came
in from the future. We're a hit.

168
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:11,316
What? My show is a hit?

169
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:14,860
What are you, deaf? Lt's gonna be
bigger than SpongeBot SquareBolts.

170
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,735
I interfere with pacemakers.

171
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:20,659
Baby, I hope you
like drowning in caviar,

172
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,201
'cause that is how
you're gonna die.

173
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:13,828
Welcome back to the Young
People's Choice Awards!

174
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:17,503
In a moment, the award
for Outstanding Sext Message.

175
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:21,428
But first, the nominees
for Best New Kids' Show are...

176
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,130
Yo Gimme Gimme,

177
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:26,766
The Adventures of Pit-bull
and Scaredy Squirrel,

178
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,014
Dora the Destroyer,

179
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,225
and Rumbledy-Hump.

180
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,353
I hope you win, Leela.

181
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,777
Thanks, Fry. It's nice to have
the support of viewers like you.

182
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,195
I'm the star
of the show.

183
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,271
Shh.

184
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:44,030
And the Slurmie for Best
New Kids' Show goes to

185
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:47,111
Turanga Leela
for Rumbledy-Hump.

186
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,579
This is Turanga Leela's
first nomination

187
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,785
and second time
in high heels.

188
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:59,211
Wow. I feel so lucky just
to have been nominated

189
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,918
alongside so
many inferior shows.

190
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,720
And to all my young friends
at the orphanarium,

191
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:08,216
thank you for inspiring me
to be your hero.

192
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,468
Slurm her!

193
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,810
So, wait. You play
a high school student

194
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,736
who's also
secretly a rock star,

195
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,859
who's also secretly
a massage chair?

196
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,987
No. I play
a high school student

197
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,069
who's also
secretly a rock star.

198
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,154
But in real life,
I'm a massage chair.

199
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,279
Mmm.

200
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:33,538
You ever made out
with a tugboat?

201
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,244
Guys, I didn't have time
to mention it up there,

202
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:39,797
but I want each of you to know
what an honor it is to work with me.

203
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,091
Sweet ego of Montego!

204
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,419
Someone build a wind farm
in front of her mouth!

205
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,921
Leela, I mean this,

206
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:49,257
you're the greatest creative mind
since blah, blah, blah-bity blah.

207
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,764
But it's 2:00 a.m., and you still
haven't written tomorrow's episode.

208
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,936
Well, you can't
expect me to write it here

209
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,106
with everyone talking so
loudly about how great I am.

210
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,273
Sorry.

211
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,601
I'm taking the ship
to my quiet place

212
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:00,856
so I can be alone.

213
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,654
You non-creatives
can catch a bus home.

214
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:08,451
Non-creative? Ha! I'll have you
know I Bedazzle my own underpants.

215
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,633
That was a hell
of a massage.

216
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,837
Maybe the best
that ever was.

217
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,592
Say, where are we?

218
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,426
Rumbledy-Hump?

219
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,221
Lt's real!

220
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,932
I love eating vegetables,
don't you?

221
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,605
They're like crunchy,
green water.

222
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,278
I don't like them!
They're icky-yuckie!

223
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,903
Now, now, Garbly, if we
don't eat our vegetables,

224
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,780
we won't grow big
and strong,

225
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,327
like Feffernoose.

226
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,872
I have to be big and strong
to fight off the monsters.

227
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,168
Did somebody
say monsters?

228
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,460
This will make
a great episode.

229
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,883
But talk slower,
I can't type that fast.

230
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,881
Well, well, well.

231
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,922
You didn't make up
that TV show.

232
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,508
You just wrote down
what these space twerps said.

233
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:14,592
Oh, hell.

234
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,684
Leela said
a Rumbledy-Hump no-no!

235
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,145
Sometimes when we're mad

236
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:25,194
We say words
that are bad

237
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:35,364
And "poo-poo" and "pee-pee"
and "penis" and "gay"

238
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:39,667
Those are the 98 words
we don't say

239
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,378
My God!
You stole all your ideas

240
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:49,211
from those poor, innocent
creatures and hogged all the credit?

241
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,303
I underestimated you.

242
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,881
Wait. I can explain.

243
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,557
Nah, don't ruin it.
I'm loving the hypocrisy.

244
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,387
It's like catching an
evangelist in a whorehouse.

245
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,517
That was
the best Christmas ever.

246
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,018
You know
I hate lying.

247
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,271
But those orphans
were so proud of me,

248
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,898
I couldn't bear
to let them down.

249
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:10,531
At least Reverend Pickens had the
dignity to jump out the whorehouse window

250
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,154
with his pants
around his ankles.

251
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,860
Who's your friend, Leela?

252
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,947
He sure has a shiny
metal bumbledy-boop.

253
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,032
They're so cute
and harmless.

254
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,493
No wonder you feel safe
ripping off their act.

255
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,703
Bender,
I feel bad enough already.

256
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:28,083
I'm just messing with you. I love
that you're getting rich off of them.

257
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,759
'Cause now I can
get rich off of you.

258
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:31,927
Oh, Lord.

259
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:35,472
From now on, you give me half the
gross, or I'll blow your cover.

260
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:40,808
Fine. You'll get your cut. I don't
really care about the money anyway.

261
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:43,310
I just want to show those
poor, disadvantaged orphans

262
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,107
that they can
succeed In life.

263
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:48,145
Ugh. You are the worst
kind of rich person.

264
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:55,030
Be it parsnips or peppers
or kale or zucchini

265
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:58,613
I like to relax
with a spinach martini

266
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,499
'Cause we love
our vegetables

267
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,215
And cut!

268
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,509
That's a wrap, everybody.

269
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,427
Ten minute break,
then we shoot season three.

270
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:21,060
Leela, you may have become
a Lady Gaga-esque fame hag,

271
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,727
but you sure cheered up
those orphans. Nice job.

272
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,568
Thanks so much for
inviting us to the taping.

273
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:31,479
The kids haven't been this
excited since Food Day.

274
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:34,111
Thanks.
They're my inspiration.

275
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:37,160
But not your only
inspiration, am I right, Leels?

276
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,957
Is somebody standing on me?

277
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:47,503
I do love inconveniencing
the underclass.

278
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:53,343
Well, we'll be on our way after we
dig through your trash for aluminum.

279
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,045
Okay, kids, delta pattern.
Go! Go! Go!

280
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,054
Miss Leela?
Yes, Sally?

281
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:04,262
I want to show you
the story I made up.

282
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:10,022
That's Gumdrop, Sticky,
Candycorn, Sourball, and Jujube.

283
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,980
They're brothers and sisters and
they live in Butterscotch Hollow.

284
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,858
Sally, that's wonderful.

285
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,615
You came up with that
yourself? Out of thin air?

286
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,072
How?

287
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:26,159
You were an orphan, and now
you're the best writer ever.

288
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,461
So I knew
I could write, too.

289
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,039
Thank you
for being my hero.

290
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:34,880
I can't do this anymore.

291
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,502
I don't blame you.

292
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:40,510
Having to wear a costume made
from a hollowed-out walrus.

293
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,808
Everyone,
I have a confession.

294
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:46,688
I, Turanga Leela, winner of
a Young People's Choice Award,

295
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:50,892
a Peabody Jr. And two Training
Emmys, am not what I appear to be.

296
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,693
There's something
I need to show you.

297
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,144
Uh-oh.

298
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,072
Continuing my confession, this is
the hardest thing I've ever done.

299
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,999
Harder than creating the
bestest show in the world?

300
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,543
I didn't create anything.
I stole it.

301
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,871
Stealing is
a form of creativity.

302
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:14,833
No, it isn't.
Guys, come on out.

303
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,135
Holy moly again.

304
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,838
Hello, Leela.

305
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,846
I was just telling my friends how
they shouldn't eat food off the floor.

306
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,268
Should we sing
a song about it?

307
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,435
Yes, please.

308
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,763
No need, Ladybuggle.

309
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,268
Say, what's going on here?

310
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,771
This planet is
the real Rumbledy-Hump,

311
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,190
and these creatures
are the real Humplings.

312
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,570
All I did was write down their
adorably repetitious hijinks.

313
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:41,488
You lied?

314
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:45,447
Like Doingg did when he
stole Garbly's pet pinecone?

315
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,247
You told them about that?

316
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,450
I should have told
the truth right away.

317
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,958
These simple prairie folk have
a simple prairie-ish life here,

318
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,456
and I was wrong to
exploit it for profit.

319
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,339
I'm as sad as
an upside-down smile.

320
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:00,545
You mean a frown?

321
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,804
We didn't have
a word for it, until now.

322
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:08,645
To think I put on an unflattering
cupcake costume for you.

323
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,938
To think I borrowed money from you.

324
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,437
I was going to
ask you to marry me.

325
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:17,816
I guess if you can't make
up stories, I can't neither.

326
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:21,775
I deserve this. And
more. Keep it coming.

327
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,697
Wait a second.

328
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,824
As a big Hollywood
TV producer,

329
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,247
I think I know how to
remedy this ethical lapse.

330
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:37,006
So if you don't want a
tapeworm or intestinal bug

331
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,176
Don't eat pastrami
that fell on the rug

332
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,007
And cut!

333
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,339
Ta-da! We got us a reality show.

334
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,716
No writers, no actors, no problem.

335
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,517
Doubledeal,
this is disgraceful.

336
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:51,641
You can't just rip off their
real lives and put it on TV.

337
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,398
Who said anything
about ripping them off?

338
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:55,565
I did.

339
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,730
I'm paying them.

340
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,654
Gather around, gang.
Here are your paychecks.

341
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:05,326
I can finally
afford my speech therapy.

342
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:08,621
And the health plan
covers my generic Prozac.

343
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:13,372
Electricity, plumbing, our
lives are a jillion times better.

344
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,078
And it's all
thanks to you, Leela.

345
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,539
Don't thank me.
I should be punished.

346
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,626
I've corrupted you and taught
the orphans a terrible lesson.

347
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,087
What orphans?
The kids were all adopted.

348
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,638
They were? By who?

349
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:30,059
Come on, kids, let's get this place
cleaned up for the next episode.

350
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,853
Albert, pick up that pastrami and put
it back on the craft services table.

351
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,313
You're the boss, Daddy.

352
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,311
Oh, God, what have I done?

353
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,894
You've given us a new father
and a full-time job,

354
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:42,071
which is more
than most kids have.

355
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,524
But...
We love it here, Miss Leela.

356
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:48,031
This is the funnest planet
in the whole world.

357
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:50,454
Don't hug me! I've
done a horrible thing!

358
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:53,783
For God's sake, somebody
teach me a lesson!

359
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:59,289
We love Leela! We love
Leela! We love Leela!

360
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,089
No!

361
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,883
We love Leela!
We love Leela!

362
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,631
We love Leela!

363
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,035
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