1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM 2 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:45,550 Planet Express Discount Prisoner Transfer at your service. 3 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,054 Take a good look, Dr. Brutaloff. 4 00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:52,756 This prison is where you'll be spending your SOB-year sentence. 5 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:55,732 Yeah, until you're defrosted and wake up refreshed, 6 00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:58,166 unaware of any time having passed. 7 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,894 He heard you! 8 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:04,567 Oh, please. It's probably just the carbonile thawing slightly. 9 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:08,010 Take him down to processing while I stay here and get hooted at. 10 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,447 Ooh, yeah, baby! 11 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,678 Oh, stop. 12 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,582 Fry, look! 13 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:24,856 That's Silicon Red, the universe's greatest folk singer! 14 00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:28,689 There's your wallet, your guitar, and your gun. 15 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,094 You're free to go. 16 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,595 Ah! Still cocked. 17 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,629 So, he's a folk singer. So what? 18 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:36,204 So what? 19 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:39,301 Have you forgotten my lifelong dream of being a folk singer? 20 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:41,106 Because I sure have until right now. 21 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,613 Silicon Red! Silicon Red! 22 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:46,310 Hey, I have a lifelong dream, too. 23 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,886 Of not being left alone with a frozen super-villain. 24 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:53,214 Don't try anything, Dr. Brutaloff! I know karate. 25 00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:02,299 Then I shot him and stabbed him and stole all his gold 26 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:06,496 And I tried on his face while his body turned cold 27 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,298 Lovely. Just lovely. 28 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:12,172 New topic. Can I have your autograph, 29 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,575 and also you tell me everything you know about folk singing, 30 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,137 and I'll take your guitar, too? 31 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:19,774 Old Salmonella? Son, lought to kill you for asking. 32 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,821 We met doing hard time on a Mississippi chain gang. 33 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:25,150 And she'd been with me through 30-odd convictions. 34 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:28,488 Thirty? You must be quite a bungling lowlife. 35 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,027 Anyhow, about the guitar. 36 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:36,124 Aw, come on! I can't be a famous folk singer without a cool guitar. 37 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,827 Can I at least get a photo? 38 00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,835 And before you answer that... {CAMERA CLICKS) 39 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,440 Now I'll just have someone duplicate your guitar. 40 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,498 Thanks, sucker. 41 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,511 You're the sucker, sucker. 42 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,179 See, with all Salmonella and me been through, 43 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:50,805 her sound is unique. 44 00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:54,817 All your fancy technology will never be able to copy this guitar. 45 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:59,487 Using my fancy technology, I can make an exact copy of this guitar. 46 00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:02,126 Tell me, Dr. Beeler. Will I need to threaten you? 47 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,183 Not at all. 48 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:06,127 You see, nowadays we can take a unique and beautiful object, 49 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,360 and easily reduce it to a formula for mass production. 50 00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:11,493 I call the process "science." 51 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,470 I'll just need to locate that guitar image on your file system. 52 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:27,752 Whoa, that's a lot of porn. Where'd you store the guitar picture? 53 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,378 I don't know. I mainly hang out in here. 54 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,388 Ah-ha! Your folk singing folder. 55 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,090 I'll just double-kick on that. 56 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,222 Got it. 57 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:45,860 Now I'll convert that guitar image to a wire-frame model. 58 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,337 There, like so. 59 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,168 And send it wirelessly to my 3-D printer. 60 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,119 By laying down layer after layer of nano-plastic, 61 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:08,853 it can turn your wildest dreams into ordinary reality. 62 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,724 Witchcraft! Sorcerer! 63 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,022 Neat. 64 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,428 So, how long will it take? 65 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:15,932 Four or five hours. 66 00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:18,798 Shall we adjourn to the porn folder? 67 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,872 I call my new guitar Bender Mae 68 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:31,313 because Bender may be the greatest folk singer of all time! 69 00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:32,781 It looks pretty authentic. 70 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,319 You bet it's authentic. See this scratch? 71 00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:37,615 I tell people she got it while I was doing hard time 72 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:38,985 with a New Hampshire chain gang. 73 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,558 I have a scratch, too. 74 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,595 From where Dr. Brutaloff slashed me with his finger knives, 75 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,561 right after he thawed out of his carbonite, 76 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,122 and right before he froze me in his carbonite 77 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,565 because you deserted me. 78 00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:58,473 You're always getting frozen in stuff. It's your thing, man. 79 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:01,671 Benden you're not a folk singer just 'cause you have a guitar. 80 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,475 And a flannel shirt. 81 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:06,107 I claim I won it in a knife fight at J. Crew. 82 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,847 It must be interesting to win a knife fight. 83 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,353 I wouldn't know. 84 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:13,583 The point is, do you even know any actual folk songs? 85 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,793 Pfft! Actual folk songs are all public domain. 86 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,330 Where's the money in that? I'll just make up my own. 87 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,025 But, robot, you can't just make up folk songs 88 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,999 like you can a medical diploma. 89 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,831 They have to come from the heart. 90 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,667 Wrong again, Zoidberg. 91 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,468 While you were yakking, I downloaded 92 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,167 every folk song in the universe 93 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,299 and analyzed them. 94 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:33,935 There are only a few basic patterns. 95 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:39,444 For example, 36% of all folk-song heroes work on a rail road 96 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,008 and are named "Big" something. 97 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,381 Next slide, please. 98 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:47,180 75% of these big rail road men have bad-hearted women 99 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:50,727 who done them wrong, usually with a smooth-talking rambler. 100 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,191 There's a lot more, but in the end, 101 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,232 somebody kills somebody... Blah, blah, blah. 102 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,963 Somebody kills somebody Blah, blah, blah 103 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,069 Catchy! 104 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,538 Not what I meant, but don't perform it without my permission! 105 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:03,630 Anyway', 106 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,802 using this simple formula, I can generate 107 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,868 as many hit folk songs as I want. 108 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,379 All I need is an audience. 109 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:12,507 And that's where Silicon Red comes in. 110 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:24,222 Man, all this corncob pipe smoke is irritating my stab wounds. 111 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:27,491 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present, 112 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:31,161 fresh from another down-home authentic prison term, 113 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,830 the universe's greatest folk singer, 114 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,170 Silicon Red! 115 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,202 Thank you. 116 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,079 Silicon Red, everyone. 117 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,712 I'm Ramblin' Rodriguez, the new greatest folk singer ever. 118 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,917 And I'm gonna sing my new masterpiece, 119 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,086 The Ballad of Me, Ramblin' Rodriguez. 120 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,420 Well 121 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:02,398 My bad-hearted woman loved a smooth-talking gambler 122 00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,129 So I ran him over with my train 123 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,968 Lord, Lord Yes, I ran him over with my train! 124 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,240 That name again is Ramblin' Rodriguez. 125 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,253 Why are they booing me, Silicon? 126 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:24,482 'Cause your song was insincere, boy. 127 00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,557 Now, get out and don't come back 128 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,320 till you've lived a life worth singing about. 129 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,494 Yes, sir. 130 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,666 And don't go to prison. That's my shtick! 131 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,445 If ailed at my lifelong dream again. 132 00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:55,782 How can I be so bad at everything I try, and still be so great? 133 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,321 Bender, you have a lovely baritone, 134 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:01,255 and you sure can strum that plastic guitar. 135 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,121 But you can't write a real folk song 136 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,254 about experiences you haven't had. 137 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,855 Yeah, you should write a song about a heartless robot 138 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,831 who leaves his best friend to be murdered. 139 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,767 Look, Leela, I'd love to write about my own experiences... 140 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,966 The heartless robot is Bender. The best friend is me. 141 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,168 How can you people be so blind? 142 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:21,336 But I've never picked cotton or been on top of Old Smokey 143 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,972 or worked on anything all the livelong day, let alone a rail road. 144 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,675 Then go live among the rail road men, why not? 145 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,481 You'll come to understand them, 146 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:32,148 just as I now understand the ape-men of Earth. 147 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:36,183 As stupid as Zoidberg's idea is, it's brilliant when I have it. 148 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:39,354 I'm off to the rail road to become a folk singer. 149 00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:01,711 Uh... I'm looking for the wrong side of the tracks. 150 00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:04,482 Then you've come to the right side of the tracks. 151 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,818 Have a seat, stranger. 152 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,852 My name's Bender Rodriguez 153 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,087 and I want to learn the railroading business. 154 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,321 Big Caboose. 155 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:15,196 I'm a steel-driving man working the trans-universal line. 156 00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:19,326 Wow, you've had the exact experiences I want to steal for my song. 157 00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,565 Oh, heck, I'm nothing special. 158 00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:24,574 Just a down-home robot with a big old hammer. 159 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,905 Hammer, that should be easy to rhyme. 160 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,035 You done time in the slammer? 161 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,169 Uh, nope. 162 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,044 Been to Alabama? Sorry. 163 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,208 How's your grammar? 164 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,408 Praiseworthy. 165 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,288 Bender, meet Fast Frank Brogan. 166 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:48,628 Daredevil engineer dies in the crash of Old '88. 167 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,234 Dandy Jim and Gus. 168 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,600 Gentlemen hobos with a story to tell. 169 00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:55,263 I once got drunk and ate my big toe. 170 00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:56,465 Can't say I miss it. 171 00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,133 And good old Cookie, 172 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,269 the crusty comically inept geological surveyor. 173 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,779 Jiggers! I dropped my sextant in the stew. 174 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:07,776 Been up north 175 00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,080 Been down south 176 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,245 Got a real weak back 177 00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:14,949 I got a real big mouth 178 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,896 So while Bender goofs off at some rail road camp, 179 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,097 I have to deliver dynamite to a rail road camp myself. 180 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,003 And it's the same rail road camp. 181 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,336 I mean, the irony is palpable. 182 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:33,737 Cups! 183 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,105 Whoopsie! 184 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,578 My bad. 185 00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:41,918 Dibs on the toes. 186 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,650 So how's it going with the real-world experience? 187 00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,918 Have you found a rail road man to write a song about? 188 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,527 Yep, my good friend Big Something here. 189 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,028 Caboose. 190 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:55,531 I'm a steel-driving man, and there ain't much more to say about me. 191 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:56,965 Not till now there wasn't 192 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:01,931 Well, Big Caboose was a sleel-drivin' son of a gun 193 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:05,134 Til! a bad-headed woman he spied 194 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,778 But, Bender, I never spied no bad-hearted woman. 195 00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:13,543 In my song you did, a temptress named, I don't know, Jezebel. 196 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,779 Wow, creativity's hard work. 197 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,179 Ah! 198 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,122 You know my favorite part of your song? 199 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,057 The part where it ended. 200 00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:26,697 Then settle in, 'cause that's about a half hour from now. 201 00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:30,859 Well, Jezebefs heart did wander 202 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:34,234 When she saw that ramblin' man 203 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,671 He was tall and dark and shiny 204 00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:40,711 And a native Mexican 205 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,747 That sleazy rambler sounds an awful lot like you, Bender. 206 00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,509 Hey, thanks for noticing. 207 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,246 Just for that, I'm gonna slip you into the 57th verse. 208 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,981 You can be my best friend who abandons me when I need you. 209 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,521 Now, that's a verse we can all enjoy. 210 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,692 Well, Rodriguez ran to his best friend 211 00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,731 Said, "Help me or I'll surely be killed" 212 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:04,165 Fry laughed and he said, "You deserted me once 213 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,569 "Now it's your turn to feel the chill Lord, Lord 214 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:11,437 "Now it's your turn to feel the chill" 215 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,910 You've accurately portrayed the nature of my grievance. 216 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:24,514 Big Caboose went lookin' for Rodriguez 217 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:27,453 Straight to New New York town 218 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:28,582 He cried... 219 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,251 Bender, guess what. 220 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,456 I met a fabulous girl and we're engaged to be hitched. 221 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:34,930 That's great, Caboose. 222 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,466 Come on in and set a spell. 223 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,196 No time. I got someplace to be. 224 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,897 See you soon, honeybunch. 225 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,064 Okay, dumpling. 226 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,103 My man's gone! Gone! 227 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:49,540 Oh! I'm so lonely and easy. 228 00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:51,377 Ooh! 229 00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,312 BENDERI Whoo! Whoo! 230 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:05,259 Oh, yeah. This is definitely going in the song. 231 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:09,089 He cried, "Rambler, you slept with my Jezebel“ 232 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,128 Hey, what's your name, anyhow? 233 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,225 Jezebel. 234 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,772 Oh, good, I won't have to change any words. 235 00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:26,280 Yeah, you're right. It's getting late. I'll get your coat. 236 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,451 Oh. Hey, Big Caboose. What are you doing here on Earth? 237 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:34,583 I'm here for to see Ramblin' Rodriguez. 238 00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,454 Well, he's at the rail road camp. 239 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,517 I know, 240 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:41,588 but some strange force drew me to New New Yorktown. 241 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,863 That rambler slept with my Jezebel 242 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:48,666 Now I'm comm' for to shoot him down Lord, Lord 243 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:52,436 Comm ' for to shoot him down 244 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,474 Guess I'll go back to the rail road camp now. 245 00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:00,683 That's weird, he sounded a lot like Bender's folk song. 246 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,820 Not a lot like Bender's folk song, 247 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,287 exactly like, et cetera, et cetera. 248 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,450 His song is coming true somehow. 249 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:11,484 Oh, my God, reality is infringing Bender's copyright. 250 00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,796 I'm comm' for to shoot you down 251 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,856 No, wait. 252 00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:19,630 Pm comm' for to run you down 253 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,693 With a train 254 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:21,828 Get it? 255 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,383 It's over, Jezebel. Grab your things and get out. 256 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,086 I didn't bring any things. 257 00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:46,220 That's what I like best about you, baby. 258 00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,571 Rambler, you slept with my Jezebel, 259 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:58,904 and I'm comin' for to run you down, Lord, Lord. 260 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:02,411 I'm comm' for to run you down 261 00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,985 Fry, help, let me in. 262 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:51,052 Bender? What are you doing? It's 3:00 a.m. 263 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:54,428 I don't care if it's 3:00 p.m. Open up and hide me! 264 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:55,966 I don't think so, Bender. 265 00:15:56,055 --> 00:16:00,970 You deserted me once, and now it's your turn to, quote, "feel the chill." Ha! 266 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,178 Breaker, breaker. 267 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,578 Hola. 268 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,352 Professor, help. 269 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,855 The hero of my folk song tried to run me down, 270 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,857 and Fry refused to save me. 271 00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,325 That doesn't sound like me. 272 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,417 Fry? 273 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,964 But you just... I'll figure it out later. 274 00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,589 But first, I'll kill you! 275 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,697 Bender, stop. We've been trying to warn you all night. 276 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,795 You didn't answer your cell phone telephone, 277 00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,371 so the Professor tried his CB. 278 00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:40,375 Uh, scratch that, Rubber Turkey. 279 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:44,039 We got a 20 on the tin man. Toodle-oo. 280 00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,775 But Fry betrayed me at our apartment! 281 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,681 Just like in your folk song. 282 00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:53,279 Somehow everything you sang about is happening in real life. 283 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,153 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 284 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:57,125 Are you saying that guy at the apartment 285 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,185 was some kind of exact copy of Fry? 286 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:00,389 'Cause that's crazy. 287 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,488 He's a unique and beautiful object. 288 00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,966 The printer. 289 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,130 Oh! I must have left the wireless connection 290 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,198 to your folk song directory open. 291 00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:13,709 Everything you wrote in the song 292 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,745 got routed straight to the 3-D printer. 293 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,839 Big Caboose, duplicate Fry, even Cookie, 294 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,579 the crusty, comically inept geological surveyor, 295 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,551 they're all made of nano-plastic. 296 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,919 So, if Bender had sung about, I don't know, 297 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:28,515 some crazy giant land octopus attacking me, 298 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,060 it would have actually happened? 299 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:33,493 Pfft! I can't even imagine singing about such a thing. 300 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,532 Well 301 00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:37,533 Fry. run! 302 00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:41,700 Oh, relax, Beeler's stupid machine takes hours to print anything. 303 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:42,831 No, it doesn't. 304 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:46,365 I improved it using fancy modern technology. 305 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:59,881 Bender, whatever you do, don't think about any more octopuses. 306 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,017 Octopuses? 307 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,858 I believe the correct plural is octopi. 308 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:12,525 I'm sorry. "Octopuses" is also acceptable. 309 00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:16,699 Think about puppies, Bender, cute, harmless, dead puppies. 310 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,368 Don't worry. I'll disconnect him from the printer. 311 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,276 No, wait. I know how to save Bender from Big Caboose. 312 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,277 All he has to do is write his way out of this mess, 313 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,580 and the 3-D printer will make it happen. 314 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:30,776 Like how? 315 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:31,911 Well, I don't know. 316 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:35,255 Make up another giant octopus and have it kill Big Caboose. 317 00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,055 What kind of lazy ending is that? 318 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,891 I'm not gonna put that in my song. 319 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,726 Hey, I have a cool idea. 320 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,060 Create a duplicate Bender, 321 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,398 so when Big Caboose kills it, it's not real, it's duplicate. 322 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,439 Oh! on! They did that on Star Trek, TNG. 323 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,596 Cram it, nerd. 324 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:53,007 I'm not going to just copy some feel-good TV show wrap-up. 325 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,981 I can think of a hundred endings that'll save you. 326 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,173 Just pick one. 327 00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:01,342 No, Dr. Beeler, I won't just pick one. 328 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,320 My audience deserves better than some crappy, formulaic ending. 329 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:10,086 If I must die, let me die in a blaze of artistic integrity. 330 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,627 Well 331 00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:24,604 Then the steel-drivin' man 332 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,940 Rammed his train through the wall 333 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:31,605 And crushed him flatter than a MacBook Air, Lord, Lord 334 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,710 Crushed him flatter than a MacBook Air 335 00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:40,685 But while you were all out fighting with the giant plastic octopi 336 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,521 I copied myself, you see 337 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:43,685 Bender! Bender! 338 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,456 And I cowered in the bathroom 339 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,293 While that steel-drivin' moron 340 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,492 Killed a duplicate instead of me 341 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:50,625 Lord, Lord 342 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:54,866 Killed a duplicate instead of me 343 00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:00,138 Now, that's what I call a great ending. 344 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,544 I made a copy of myself and Big Caboose killed him. 345 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,879 But you said making a copy of yourself would be a lousy ending. 346 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,816 No, duplicate me said that 347 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,081 See, I had to be sure he wouldn't try 348 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,656 and weasel out of getting killed 349 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,248 like I would, and did, 350 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:18,158 so I created him with a tragic weakness, artistic integrity. 351 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:19,522 Of course. 352 00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:21,428 How could we have thought a guy with integrity 353 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,557 was you even for a second? 354 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:25,397 Because you're idiots. 355 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:27,835 Come on, Silicon Red, let's sell out. 356 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,780 I'm the real Rodriguez Will you please stand up? 357 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,180 He been workin' on the rail road Ladies can't get enough 358 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,617 I made a 3-D version of my worst nightmare 359 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:45,279 Sucker tried to stop the printer and I found him there 360 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,880 Went 187 on his robot ass 361 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,393 Turned out to be a copy of my robot ass 362 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,861 Now we're folk-singin' players packin' Beaujolais 363 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,263 And makin' max contributions to our 401K 364 00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:57,698 Peace out. 365 00:20:58,305 --> 00:21:04,843 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org