1
00:00:06,845 --> 00:00:08,149
Mr. Schuester.
2
00:00:08,255 --> 00:00:09,551
Yea!
3
00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:11,920
I went to the library and I got some
sheet music,
4
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,392
and I wanted to run
some songs by you
5
00:00:13,392 --> 00:00:15,097
that feature me heavily
on lead vocal.
Thanks, Rach.
6
00:00:15,097 --> 00:00:16,837
But I already got one
picked out.
7
00:00:16,837 --> 00:00:18,307
Let me help you
with that.
8
00:00:18,307 --> 00:00:21,248
Thanks, Finn.
9
00:00:21,248 --> 00:00:23,255
That's a good
thing, right?
Morning, guys.
10
00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:25,093
Hey, Mr. Shue.
We're just learning some runs.
11
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,162
Oh, yeah?
So it goes,
12
00:00:26,162 --> 00:00:27,400
* Oh. *
13
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,737
* Oh. *
* Oh. *
14
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,409
With the finger,
huh?
Pretty fly for a white guy.
15
00:00:30,409 --> 00:00:31,645
Oh, thank you, thank you.
16
00:00:31,645 --> 00:00:33,584
Hey, don't be late for rehearsal
this afternoon.
17
00:00:33,584 --> 00:00:35,256
All right.
18
00:00:35,256 --> 00:00:36,627
Morning, Kurt.
19
00:00:36,627 --> 00:00:38,633
Buenos nachos, Mr. Shue.
20
00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:40,136
Hey!
21
00:00:40,136 --> 00:00:42,142
Let's go, Titans!
Yeah.
22
00:00:43,146 --> 00:00:45,152
Come on.
Wait!
23
00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:48,463
One day you will all
work for me.
24
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:57,019
(strumming steady rhythm)
25
00:00:57,019 --> 00:00:58,190
It was very,
very nice.
26
00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:00,230
All right?
27
00:01:01,970 --> 00:01:03,641
(gasping):
Oh, Will, oh.
Oh!
28
00:01:03,641 --> 00:01:05,311
Gosh. Hi.
Hey, Emma.
29
00:01:05,311 --> 00:01:06,482
Hi.
Hey.
30
00:01:06,482 --> 00:01:08,319
Uh, I wanted to thank you
so much
31
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,192
for the advice you gave me
the other day.
32
00:01:10,192 --> 00:01:12,533
I mean, teaching here
and coaching Glee Club--
33
00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:14,538
it's where I belong.
Oh, well, it's
no problem.
34
00:01:14,538 --> 00:01:16,377
I mean, it's what I do.
You know, I give counsel
35
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:17,614
and give guidance.
I'm a guidance counselor.
36
00:01:17,614 --> 00:01:18,919
Yeah, you are.
37
00:01:18,919 --> 00:01:20,289
So-- oh, look, we match,
periwinkle.
38
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,295
Yeah.
Get a room.
39
00:01:22,295 --> 00:01:24,568
Mrs. Sylvester wants to see you
in her office, Mr. Shue.
40
00:01:24,568 --> 00:01:26,071
She doesn't like
to be kept waiting.
41
00:01:26,071 --> 00:01:28,078
You got it.
42
00:01:29,683 --> 00:01:31,422
(school bell ringing)
43
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,165
Hey, Sue, you want to see me?
44
00:01:35,165 --> 00:01:36,670
Hey, buddy. Come on in.
45
00:01:36,670 --> 00:01:38,175
(sighs)
46
00:01:38,175 --> 00:01:39,879
I just blasted my hammies.
47
00:01:39,879 --> 00:01:41,586
Oh.
48
00:01:41,586 --> 00:01:42,320
Iron tablet?
49
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,592
Uh...
50
00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:45,261
Keeps your strength up while
you're menstruating.
51
00:01:45,261 --> 00:01:47,068
I don't menstruate.
52
00:01:47,068 --> 00:01:48,673
Yeah?
53
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:49,709
Neither do I.
54
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,949
So I had a little chat
55
00:01:51,949 --> 00:01:53,955
with Principal Figgins, and he
said that if you're group
56
00:01:53,955 --> 00:01:56,697
doesn't place at Regionals,
he's cutting the program.
57
00:01:56,697 --> 00:01:58,836
(clicks tongue)
Ouch.
58
00:01:58,836 --> 00:02:00,240
You know, you don't have to
worry about Glee Club.
59
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,275
We're going to be fine.
60
00:02:01,275 --> 00:02:02,379
Really?
61
00:02:02,379 --> 00:02:04,118
'Cause I was at the
local library,
62
00:02:04,118 --> 00:02:06,057
where I read Cheerleading
Today aloud
63
00:02:06,057 --> 00:02:08,097
to blind geriatrics,
64
00:02:08,097 --> 00:02:10,604
and I came across this
little page-turner.
65
00:02:10,604 --> 00:02:13,112
Show Choir Rule Book.
66
00:02:13,112 --> 00:02:14,549
And it turns out,
67
00:02:14,549 --> 00:02:16,922
you need 12 kids to qualify
for Regionals.
68
00:02:16,922 --> 00:02:18,761
Last time I looked,
69
00:02:18,761 --> 00:02:20,431
you only had
five-and-a-half.
70
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,472
Here. Cripple in
the wheelchair.
71
00:02:22,472 --> 00:02:25,582
I also took the liberty
of highlighting some
special ed classes
72
00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:28,456
for you-- maybe you could
find some recruits--
73
00:02:28,456 --> 00:02:30,528
because I'm not sure
there's anybody else
74
00:02:30,528 --> 00:02:32,200
who's going to want to swim over
75
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,376
to your Island of Misfit Toys.
76
00:02:35,376 --> 00:02:37,216
Are you threatening me,
77
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,887
Sue?
Threatening you?
78
00:02:38,887 --> 00:02:40,357
Oh, no, no, no.
79
00:02:40,357 --> 00:02:42,363
Presenting you
with an opportunity
80
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,369
to compromise yourself?
81
00:02:44,369 --> 00:02:46,642
You betcha.
82
00:02:46,642 --> 00:02:49,853
Let's break it down.
83
00:02:49,853 --> 00:02:51,224
You want to be creative.
84
00:02:51,224 --> 00:02:52,761
You want to be in the spotlight.
85
00:02:52,761 --> 00:02:55,235
Face it, you want to be me.
86
00:02:55,235 --> 00:02:57,107
So, here's the deal:
87
00:02:57,107 --> 00:03:00,117
you do with your depressing
little group of kids
88
00:03:00,117 --> 00:03:03,092
what I did with my wealthy,
elderly mother:
89
00:03:03,092 --> 00:03:04,562
euthanize it.
90
00:03:04,562 --> 00:03:06,134
It's time.
91
00:03:06,134 --> 00:03:07,705
And then I'll be happy
to offer you a job
92
00:03:07,705 --> 00:03:09,109
as my second assistant
on Cheerios.
93
00:03:09,109 --> 00:03:11,515
You can fetch
me Gatorade
94
00:03:11,515 --> 00:03:12,852
and launder my soiled delicates;
95
00:03:12,852 --> 00:03:14,592
it'll be very rewarding
96
00:03:14,592 --> 00:03:15,896
work for you.
97
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:18,103
You know what, Sue?
98
00:03:18,103 --> 00:03:20,142
I politely decline
your offer.
99
00:03:20,142 --> 00:03:21,579
Glee Club is here
to stay.
100
00:03:21,579 --> 00:03:23,585
I believe in my kids.
101
00:03:23,585 --> 00:03:26,460
I know you're used to being the
cock of the walk around here...
102
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:28,133
Offensive.
103
00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:29,435
...but it looks
like your Cheerios
104
00:03:29,435 --> 00:03:30,472
are going to have
some competition.
105
00:03:30,472 --> 00:03:32,312
We're going to show
at Regionals.
106
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:35,821
You have my word on that.
107
00:03:35,821 --> 00:03:37,827
Have a good day.
108
00:03:41,838 --> 00:03:43,877
(school bell ringing)
109
00:03:43,586 --> 00:03:46,154
QUINN:
We are in line to be the most
popular kids in this school
110
00:03:46,154 --> 00:03:47,620
over the next couple
of years.
Yeah, I know.
111
00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:49,386
Prom king and queen,
homecoming court royalty,
112
00:03:49,386 --> 00:03:51,387
I'm not giving up
those shiny crowns
113
00:03:51,387 --> 00:03:52,888
just so you can
"express yourself."
114
00:03:52,888 --> 00:03:55,654
FINN:
Look, you're making too big
a deal out of this.
115
00:03:55,654 --> 00:03:58,487
Okay, let's compromise.
116
00:03:58,487 --> 00:04:00,354
If you quit the club,
117
00:04:00,354 --> 00:04:02,354
I'll let you touch my breast.
118
00:04:02,354 --> 00:04:03,621
FINN:
Under the shirt?
119
00:04:03,621 --> 00:04:06,655
Over the bra.
120
00:04:06,655 --> 00:04:08,689
No, no.
121
00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:10,255
I can't.
122
00:04:10,255 --> 00:04:11,522
I want to do Glee.
I--
123
00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:12,855
I'm really happy
when I'm performing.
124
00:04:12,855 --> 00:04:14,789
People think
you're gay now, Finn.
125
00:04:14,789 --> 00:04:16,455
And you know
what that makes me?
126
00:04:16,455 --> 00:04:18,123
Your big gay beard.
127
00:04:18,123 --> 00:04:20,523
Look, I-I-I got to go
to class, okay?
128
00:04:20,523 --> 00:04:21,756
Just relax.
129
00:04:21,756 --> 00:04:23,656
Everything's going
to work out.
130
00:04:24,690 --> 00:04:27,690
Eavesdrop much?
131
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,824
Time for some girl talk,
man hands.
132
00:04:31,824 --> 00:04:34,158
You can dance with him,
you can sing with him,
133
00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:35,791
but you will never
have him.
134
00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:37,457
I understand why you'd
be threatened.
135
00:04:37,457 --> 00:04:39,190
Finn and I have made
a connection,
136
00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:40,590
but I'm an honorable
person.
137
00:04:40,590 --> 00:04:42,657
I don't need to
steal your man.
138
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,358
I have plenty of suitors
of my own.
139
00:04:44,358 --> 00:04:46,025
Every day Glee's status
is going up
140
00:04:46,025 --> 00:04:47,625
and yours is going down...
141
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:48,625
deal with it.
142
00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:51,658
(others laughing)
143
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,525
Holla.
144
00:04:53,525 --> 00:04:55,324
* Ah, freak out *
145
00:04:55,324 --> 00:04:57,325
* Le freak, c'est chic *
146
00:04:57,325 --> 00:04:58,359
Energy, guys.
* Freak out *
147
00:04:58,359 --> 00:04:59,526
It's disco.
148
00:04:59,526 --> 00:05:00,526
* Le freak, c'est chic *
149
00:05:00,526 --> 00:05:02,459
* Ah, freak out *
150
00:05:02,459 --> 00:05:04,392
Good with the hands.
John Travolta hands. All right.
151
00:05:04,392 --> 00:05:06,126
* Le freak, c'est chic *
152
00:05:06,126 --> 00:05:07,626
Freak it out.
Let's go.
* Freak out *
153
00:05:07,626 --> 00:05:09,527
* Le freak, c'est chic *
154
00:05:09,527 --> 00:05:11,360
And up and out
155
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,860
and down and--
good.
* Have you heard *
156
00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:14,326
* About the new dance craze? *
Good, good, guys.
157
00:05:14,326 --> 00:05:15,694
* Listen to us *
158
00:05:15,694 --> 00:05:18,660
* I'm sure you'll be amazed *
159
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,560
* Big fun... *
Whoa! Whoa!
160
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,360
Hell to the nah.
161
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,461
First of all, you try to
bust my face again,
162
00:05:24,461 --> 00:05:26,162
and I will cut you.
163
00:05:26,162 --> 00:05:28,261
And also, this song is terrible.
164
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:29,695
Okay, no, no, it's not the song.
165
00:05:29,695 --> 00:05:31,162
You guys just need
to get into it.
166
00:05:31,162 --> 00:05:32,327
No, it's the song.
167
00:05:32,327 --> 00:05:33,561
It's really gay.
We need
168
00:05:33,561 --> 00:05:34,494
modern music, Mr. Shue.
169
00:05:34,494 --> 00:05:35,829
I'm sorry, guys.
170
00:05:35,829 --> 00:05:38,195
We don't have time
to discuss this.
171
00:05:38,195 --> 00:05:39,996
We're doing the song this Friday
at the pep assembly.
172
00:05:39,996 --> 00:05:41,495
In f-front of the whole school?
173
00:05:41,495 --> 00:05:42,996
Exactly!
174
00:05:42,996 --> 00:05:44,195
They're gonna throw
fruit at us.
175
00:05:44,195 --> 00:05:45,729
And I just had a facial.
176
00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:47,096
I'll press charges
if that happens.
177
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,296
Guys, I can't express to you
178
00:05:49,296 --> 00:05:51,329
how important this assembly is.
179
00:05:51,329 --> 00:05:52,997
We need recruits.
180
00:05:52,997 --> 00:05:54,229
There're six of you.
181
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,263
We need 12 to qualify
for Regionals.
182
00:05:56,263 --> 00:05:58,296
We have no choice or...
183
00:05:58,296 --> 00:05:59,730
the club is over.
184
00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:01,763
I know you guys don't like
this song,
185
00:06:01,763 --> 00:06:04,230
but we took Nationals back
in '93 with "Freak Out."
186
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,998
It's a crowd-pleaser.
187
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:07,197
Trust me.
188
00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:08,230
From the top.
189
00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:10,230
I'm dead.
190
00:06:14,798 --> 00:06:18,865
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX
191
00:06:18,865 --> 00:06:20,965
WILL:
My father always said
you become a man
192
00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:22,498
when you buy your first house.
193
00:06:22,498 --> 00:06:24,066
I'm not sure what
he meant by that,
194
00:06:24,066 --> 00:06:26,432
since he burned ours down once
after a drunken fight with Mom.
195
00:06:26,432 --> 00:06:29,067
Welcome to your little slice
of the American dream.
196
00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:32,067
I have a question
about the trees.
197
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,933
It's always been
my personal dream
198
00:06:33,933 --> 00:06:35,933
to cut down my own
Christmas tree.
199
00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:38,599
How many Christmas trees
will we have in the backyard?
200
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,299
And do they come
in different colors?
201
00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:42,367
Because, well-- obviously,
we're expecting a family,
202
00:06:42,367 --> 00:06:44,934
and I have a real sense
that it might be a girl.
203
00:06:44,934 --> 00:06:47,101
WILL:
Still, I can't believe
we're actually doing this.
204
00:06:47,101 --> 00:06:48,634
It all happened so fast...
205
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:50,967
(kids screaming)
206
00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:53,767
It all started when Terri's
sister Kendra
207
00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:55,435
brought her kids over
for Sunday brunch.
208
00:06:55,435 --> 00:06:57,234
Well, I just
don't understand
209
00:06:57,234 --> 00:06:58,802
where you're planning on
putting the nursery.
210
00:06:58,802 --> 00:06:59,702
I know.
211
00:06:59,702 --> 00:07:01,234
We have a second bedroom.
212
00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:02,968
You are not giving up
your craft room, Terri.
213
00:07:02,968 --> 00:07:04,301
A mother needs
her respite.
214
00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:06,301
That craft room
is the only thing
215
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,036
that's going to keep you
from going all Susan Smith
216
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:10,235
on that little angel.
217
00:07:10,235 --> 00:07:12,502
Postpartum runs
in our family.
218
00:07:12,502 --> 00:07:14,170
Where are you going?
219
00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:15,602
Bathroom.
220
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,636
All that bran.
221
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:17,769
No, you can't.
222
00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:18,803
Kyle needs his
inhaler.
223
00:07:18,803 --> 00:07:19,969
(screaming continues)
224
00:07:19,969 --> 00:07:21,970
(screams)
225
00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:24,470
Anyway, this conversation
is over.
226
00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:25,503
They're starting
construction
227
00:07:25,503 --> 00:07:27,737
on a new section
of our subdivision.
228
00:07:27,737 --> 00:07:29,071
You are not
229
00:07:29,071 --> 00:07:31,970
bringing my niece or nephew
home to this apartment.
230
00:07:31,970 --> 00:07:33,503
When pigs fly.
231
00:07:33,503 --> 00:07:34,638
(laughing)
232
00:07:34,638 --> 00:07:36,771
Can I eat this?
233
00:07:39,072 --> 00:07:41,604
This banister was made
by Ecuadorian children.
234
00:07:41,604 --> 00:07:43,604
(gasps)
It's great, Terri,
235
00:07:43,604 --> 00:07:45,438
but there are nine
foreclosures on
our street.
236
00:07:45,438 --> 00:07:46,871
Why can't we buy
one of those?
237
00:07:46,871 --> 00:07:48,272
They're half
the price.
I am not raising our baby
238
00:07:48,272 --> 00:07:49,939
in a used house.
They're not clean.
239
00:07:49,939 --> 00:07:51,772
Oh.
240
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:52,939
Look at this sun nook.
241
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,939
Isn't it beautiful?
242
00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:56,772
Is i iextra?
Mm.
243
00:07:56,772 --> 00:07:58,939
The price in the brochure is
for the basic model--
244
00:07:58,939 --> 00:08:01,440
everything else
is ?la carte.
245
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,273
The grand foyer is
an extra $14,000,
246
00:08:04,273 --> 00:08:07,273
and the sun nook is
an extra 24.
247
00:08:08,273 --> 00:08:09,940
I'll let
you two talk.
248
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:11,940
Thank you.
Thank you.
249
00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:14,474
(sighs)
250
00:08:14,474 --> 00:08:15,941
We can't afford this.
251
00:08:15,941 --> 00:08:17,274
We already did
the math, Will.
252
00:08:17,274 --> 00:08:19,274
All we have to do is
give up Applebee's,
253
00:08:19,274 --> 00:08:21,274
and we won't run the
AC for the first
couple of summers.
254
00:08:21,274 --> 00:08:23,274
Well, we certainly can't afford
the grand foyer,
255
00:08:23,274 --> 00:08:24,708
and the sun nook.
256
00:08:24,708 --> 00:08:26,141
I mean, if we bite off more
than we can chew
257
00:08:26,141 --> 00:08:27,809
we'll lose everything.
258
00:08:27,809 --> 00:08:29,809
You need to pick one.
259
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,341
Come with me.
260
00:08:31,341 --> 00:08:33,442
I'm going to show you
something really special.
261
00:08:33,442 --> 00:08:36,442
This is where our daughter
or gay son will sleep.
262
00:08:36,442 --> 00:08:37,875
I thought maybe
we could put one
263
00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:39,042
of those mini-pianos
in here,
264
00:08:39,042 --> 00:08:42,043
and you two could
put on shows for me.
265
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,409
I love it, Terri.
266
00:08:43,409 --> 00:08:45,209
But we still can't
afford everything.
267
00:08:47,242 --> 00:08:48,409
(sighs)
268
00:08:48,409 --> 00:08:51,409
It's my very own
Sophie's Choice.
269
00:08:52,409 --> 00:08:53,911
Fine.
270
00:08:53,911 --> 00:08:56,078
I'm going to give up the sun
nook for the grand foyer.
271
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:59,078
But I really need
the polished door handles.
272
00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:00,911
Think of our family,
Will.
273
00:09:00,911 --> 00:09:02,744
This is our dream.
274
00:09:02,744 --> 00:09:05,577
WILL:
I knew in that moment that
I would do whatever it took,
275
00:09:05,577 --> 00:09:08,079
even if it meant getting
a part-time job
276
00:09:08,079 --> 00:09:09,478
to make some extra money,
277
00:09:09,478 --> 00:09:11,812
to make that dream come true.
278
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:13,812
Let's go sign
those papers.
279
00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:17,611
Yes!
280
00:09:17,611 --> 00:09:19,412
You need to call me
before you dress yourself.
Whatever, whatever.
281
00:09:19,412 --> 00:09:21,180
You look like a
Technicolor zebra.
You're a hater.
282
00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:22,879
And I look like
I'm a partier.
That's what
you are, a hater.
283
00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:24,412
You're trying
to copy me.
It looks like
I planned it.
284
00:09:24,412 --> 00:09:25,813
You know what?
If you're hair was longer
285
00:09:25,813 --> 00:09:26,746
you'd have curls.
WILL:
All right, guys.
286
00:09:26,746 --> 00:09:28,113
How about a little Kanye?
287
00:09:28,113 --> 00:09:29,146
(all cheering)
288
00:09:29,146 --> 00:09:30,279
For the assembly?
289
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:31,512
No, we won't be
ready in time.
290
00:09:31,512 --> 00:09:32,647
We're still
doing disco.
291
00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:34,814
But we can fold this
into our repertoire,
292
00:09:34,814 --> 00:09:37,246
and it'll be awesome
at Regionals.
293
00:09:37,246 --> 00:09:39,413
Communication is the foundation
294
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,081
of any successful music group.
295
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,680
If we're going to succeed
we need to communicate.
296
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,781
You guys said you wanted
modern music, I listened.
297
00:09:45,781 --> 00:09:49,481
Mr. Shue, we'd really like to
not do disco at that assembly.
298
00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:50,715
Finn, you're going
to take the solo.
299
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,715
What? No, I-I can't do
the solo, Mr. Shue.
300
00:09:52,715 --> 00:09:53,915
I'm still learning...
301
00:09:53,915 --> 00:09:55,915
learning how to walk and
sing at the same time.
302
00:09:56,948 --> 00:09:58,949
No problem.
303
00:09:58,949 --> 00:10:00,282
I'll walk you through it.
304
00:10:00,282 --> 00:10:01,949
ALL:
Ooh.
305
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:02,982
Challenge.
306
00:10:02,982 --> 00:10:04,582
Mercedes, you know this?
307
00:10:04,582 --> 00:10:06,582
Oh, I got this.
308
00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:12,550
* She take my money *
309
00:10:12,550 --> 00:10:14,550
* When I'm in need *
310
00:10:14,550 --> 00:10:18,050
* Yeah, she's a trifflin' *
311
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,050
* Friend, indeed *
312
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:23,050
* Oh, she's a gold digger *
313
00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:25,085
* Way over town *
314
00:10:25,085 --> 00:10:26,551
* That digs on me *
315
00:10:26,551 --> 00:10:28,651
(bass pumping)
316
00:10:28,651 --> 00:10:31,484
* She give me money *
* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *
317
00:10:31,484 --> 00:10:34,118
* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin'
with no broke, broke *
318
00:10:34,118 --> 00:10:36,918
* She give me money *
* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *
319
00:10:36,918 --> 00:10:38,952
* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin'
with no broke *
320
00:10:38,952 --> 00:10:40,485
* Broke *
* I gotta leave *
321
00:10:40,485 --> 00:10:42,652
* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *
322
00:10:42,652 --> 00:10:44,285
* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *
323
00:10:44,285 --> 00:10:46,152
* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl *
324
00:10:46,152 --> 00:10:47,819
* Go 'head, get down *
* I gotta leave *
325
00:10:47,819 --> 00:10:49,819
* Get down, girl, go 'head *
* She give me money *
326
00:10:49,819 --> 00:10:51,519
* Cutie da bomb
met her at a beauty salon *
327
00:10:51,519 --> 00:10:53,187
* When I'm in need *
* With a baby Louis Vuitton *
328
00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:55,553
* Under her underarm,
she said I can tell you rock *
329
00:10:55,553 --> 00:10:57,219
* She give me money *
* I can tell by your charm *
330
00:10:57,219 --> 00:10:58,920
* When I'm in need *
* Far as girls you got a flock *
331
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,653
* I can tell by your charm
and your arm *
332
00:11:00,653 --> 00:11:02,486
* I gotta leave *
* But I'm lookin' for the one *
333
00:11:02,486 --> 00:11:03,519
* Have you seen her? *
* I gotta leave *
334
00:11:03,519 --> 00:11:04,554
* No, we ain't seen her! *
335
00:11:04,554 --> 00:11:05,921
* She give my money *
336
00:11:05,921 --> 00:11:07,787
* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *
337
00:11:07,787 --> 00:11:09,787
* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin' *
338
00:11:09,787 --> 00:11:11,687
* With no broke, broke, uh *
* She give me money *
339
00:11:11,687 --> 00:11:12,821
* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *
340
00:11:12,821 --> 00:11:14,320
* When I'm in need *
341
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,420
* But she ain't messin'
with no broke, broke, uh *
342
00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:16,754
* I gotta leave *
343
00:11:16,754 --> 00:11:18,722
* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *
344
00:11:18,722 --> 00:11:20,055
* I gotta leave *
* Get down, oh, oh *
345
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,688
* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *
346
00:11:21,688 --> 00:11:23,254
* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl *
347
00:11:23,254 --> 00:11:24,155
* Go 'head, get down *
* I gotta leave *
348
00:11:24,155 --> 00:11:25,555
* Get down, girl, go 'head *
349
00:11:25,555 --> 00:11:27,788
* She give me money *
* 18 years, 18 years *
350
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,421
* When I'm in need *
* She got one of yo' kids *
351
00:11:29,421 --> 00:11:31,255
* Got you for 18 years *
* She give me money *
352
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,689
* I know somebody paying child
support for one of his kids *
353
00:11:33,689 --> 00:11:35,255
* When I'm in need *
354
00:11:35,255 --> 00:11:36,456
* His baby mama car crib
is bigger than his *
355
00:11:36,456 --> 00:11:37,456
* You will see him on TV *
356
00:11:37,456 --> 00:11:38,456
* Any given Sunday *
357
00:11:38,456 --> 00:11:39,456
* I gotta leave *
358
00:11:39,456 --> 00:11:40,589
* Win the Super Bowl *
359
00:11:40,589 --> 00:11:42,322
* And drive off in a Hyundai *
360
00:11:42,322 --> 00:11:44,256
* She was supposed to buy
ya shorty Tyco with ya money *
361
00:11:44,256 --> 00:11:46,057
* I gotta leave *
* She went to the doctor *
362
00:11:46,057 --> 00:11:47,724
* Got lipo with ya money *
* She give me money *
363
00:11:47,724 --> 00:11:49,490
* She walkin' around lookin'
like Michael with ya money *
364
00:11:49,490 --> 00:11:51,256
* When I'm in need *
* Shoulda' got that insured *
365
00:11:51,256 --> 00:11:52,924
* Geico for ya money *
* She give me money *
366
00:11:52,924 --> 00:11:54,824
* If you ain't no crook *
367
00:11:54,824 --> 00:11:56,558
* When I'm in need *
* Holla' we want pre-nup *
368
00:11:56,558 --> 00:11:58,624
* We want pre-nup! Yeah! *
369
00:11:58,624 --> 00:11:59,925
(laughter)
370
00:11:59,925 --> 00:12:01,257
That was fun.
371
00:12:01,257 --> 00:12:02,991
All right,
just like that. Ready?
372
00:12:02,991 --> 00:12:04,991
(toilet flushing)
373
00:12:08,791 --> 00:12:10,992
(coughing and retching)
374
00:12:16,826 --> 00:12:18,126
(coughing)
375
00:12:18,126 --> 00:12:20,059
Rachel, did you
just throw up?
376
00:12:20,059 --> 00:12:21,225
No.
377
00:12:21,225 --> 00:12:22,626
You missed
the toilet.
378
00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:25,226
The girl who was throwing up
before me left that.
379
00:12:25,226 --> 00:12:28,359
I tried, but I guess
I just don't have a gag reflex.
380
00:12:28,359 --> 00:12:29,760
One day when
you're older,
381
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,893
that'll turn
out to be a gift.
382
00:12:31,893 --> 00:12:33,560
Let's have a
little chat, okay?
383
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,027
(school bell ringing)
384
00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:48,294
(clears throat)
Rachel, bulimia is a very
385
00:12:51,862 --> 00:12:53,929
messy, serious disease.
386
00:12:53,929 --> 00:12:55,628
I don't have bulimia.
387
00:12:55,628 --> 00:12:59,361
I tried it and failed,
and won't ever attempt it again.
388
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:00,328
Okay.
389
00:13:00,328 --> 00:13:01,528
It grossed me out.
390
00:13:01,528 --> 00:13:02,963
Okay, but I still want to talk
391
00:13:02,963 --> 00:13:04,229
about the feelings that you had
392
00:13:04,229 --> 00:13:06,429
that led up to you wanting
to puke your guts out.
393
00:13:06,429 --> 00:13:07,663
I want to be thinner.
394
00:13:09,063 --> 00:13:10,429
And prettier
like that Quinn girl.
395
00:13:10,429 --> 00:13:12,863
Mm-hmm, and, um, why is that?
396
00:13:12,863 --> 00:13:14,863
Have you ever liked somebody
so much,
397
00:13:14,863 --> 00:13:17,263
you just want to lock yourself
in your room,
398
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:18,831
turn on sad music and cry?
399
00:13:21,064 --> 00:13:23,497
No.
400
00:13:23,497 --> 00:13:25,931
(to song on radio):
* All by my... *
401
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:27,831
(crying)
402
00:13:27,831 --> 00:13:29,264
By myself.
403
00:13:29,264 --> 00:13:30,465
I'm by myself.
404
00:13:30,465 --> 00:13:32,032
* Don't want to be... *
405
00:13:32,032 --> 00:13:34,832
Uh, but a boy crush, huh?
406
00:13:34,832 --> 00:13:36,698
I know about that.
I mean, not now.
407
00:13:36,698 --> 00:13:38,331
It takes me back in the day.
408
00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:40,431
Like, a long time ago
I knew about that.
409
00:13:40,431 --> 00:13:42,299
You know what? You need
to remember, Rachel,
410
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,466
to protect your heart.
411
00:13:43,466 --> 00:13:44,833
I don't care who he is.
412
00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:47,100
If he doesn't like you
for the way you are,
413
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,699
or if he's...
you know, he's married
414
00:13:48,699 --> 00:13:50,200
with a baby on the way,
415
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,499
that's not worth
the heartache.
416
00:13:51,499 --> 00:13:54,734
You don't want to compromise...
yourself... for that.
417
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,700
Um... (clears throat)
418
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,567
Have you just tried
419
00:13:58,567 --> 00:14:00,300
telling him how you feel?
420
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:03,067
He doesn't even notice me.
421
00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:05,101
I see.
422
00:14:05,101 --> 00:14:08,102
Um, okay, well,
here's what I think.
423
00:14:08,102 --> 00:14:11,035
Common interests
are the key to romance.
424
00:14:11,035 --> 00:14:13,135
All ght? So find out
what he likes.
425
00:14:13,135 --> 00:14:15,501
Then he'll see you
in a positive way, and
426
00:14:15,501 --> 00:14:16,835
maybe you'll end up
doing something
427
00:14:30,969 --> 00:14:33,202
SUE:
Would you like
428
00:14:33,202 --> 00:14:35,003
to tell Principal Figgins
and Mr. Schuester
429
00:14:35,003 --> 00:14:37,203
what I caught you two doing?
430
00:14:37,203 --> 00:14:39,736
It just sort of happened.
431
00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:42,736
I don't mean
to be rude,
432
00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:44,036
but I think she's
overreacting.
433
00:14:44,036 --> 00:14:46,504
You watch your tone, young lady.
434
00:14:46,504 --> 00:14:47,737
Gay parents
encourage rebellion.
435
00:14:47,737 --> 00:14:49,037
There are
studies on this.
436
00:14:49,037 --> 00:14:50,770
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
437
00:14:50,770 --> 00:14:52,637
All right, tell me
what happened, Rachel.
438
00:14:52,637 --> 00:14:54,971
Finn was worried about
having to perform a solo
439
00:14:54,971 --> 00:14:57,304
at the pep assembly in front
of his chromosomally-challenged
440
00:14:57,304 --> 00:14:58,171
friends.
441
00:14:58,171 --> 00:14:59,338
I was immediately concerned
442
00:14:59,338 --> 00:15:00,572
by his lack of self-esteem
443
00:15:00,572 --> 00:15:02,038
and made a creative
preemptive strike.
444
00:15:02,038 --> 00:15:04,805
Yeah, pretty much
what she said.
445
00:15:04,805 --> 00:15:06,506
You know, one of
the amazing things
446
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,472
about being in the
performing arts is that
447
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,705
you can parlay it into
so many different fields.
448
00:15:10,705 --> 00:15:12,239
Like Justin Timberlake.
449
00:15:12,239 --> 00:15:14,672
He's a singer, but he
also has a clothing line.
450
00:15:14,672 --> 00:15:18,306
And you know, he makes
things like shirts and belts.
451
00:15:18,306 --> 00:15:20,373
Who is Justin Timberlake?
452
00:15:20,373 --> 00:15:21,973
RACHEL:
It was a two-fold plan.
453
00:15:21,973 --> 00:15:24,340
We figured that with the right
marketing strategy,
454
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,441
we could pull
from the entire student body
455
00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:27,773
without having an assembly,
456
00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:30,207
thus creating
the diverse Glee Club
457
00:15:30,207 --> 00:15:32,007
this school has been craving.
458
00:15:38,474 --> 00:15:41,708
That copy machine is
for Cheerios use only.
459
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,841
Paid for
by alumni donations.
460
00:15:43,841 --> 00:15:46,242
I can't begin to
fathom the damage
461
00:15:46,242 --> 00:15:49,075
you'd have done to the
program had you broken it.
462
00:15:49,075 --> 00:15:50,142
Hold on a second, Sue.
463
00:15:50,142 --> 00:15:51,275
I resent being told
464
00:15:51,275 --> 00:15:52,543
to hold on to anything, William.
465
00:15:52,543 --> 00:15:54,042
I will not be treated
466
00:15:54,042 --> 00:15:55,543
like a second-class citizen
because of my gender.
467
00:15:55,543 --> 00:15:57,576
There is a very clear
bureaucracy
468
00:15:57,576 --> 00:16:00,610
when it comes to photocopies,
and you seem to think
469
00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:03,409
that these procedures
don't apply to your students.
470
00:16:03,409 --> 00:16:04,775
It is my strong
recommendation
471
00:16:04,775 --> 00:16:06,344
that both these
students be hobbled.
472
00:16:08,643 --> 00:16:11,043
How many copies
did you guys make?
473
00:16:11,043 --> 00:16:12,577
17.
474
00:16:12,577 --> 00:16:15,444
Okay. And how much
does a photocopy cost?
475
00:16:15,444 --> 00:16:16,743
Four-and-a-half cents.
476
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,711
How about
they just pay for the copies?
477
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,178
I like this compromise.
478
00:16:20,178 --> 00:16:22,578
Children, pay Ms. Sylvester,
479
00:16:22,578 --> 00:16:24,078
and we'll let you off
with a warning.
480
00:16:24,078 --> 00:16:26,978
And Sue, I'm sorry,
but I'll have to ask you
481
00:16:26,978 --> 00:16:28,378
to personally clean
the congealed
482
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,311
protein shake off
the photocopy room floor.
483
00:16:30,311 --> 00:16:32,012
That's why we
have janitors.
484
00:16:32,012 --> 00:16:34,412
Sue, we're in a recession,
and concessions must be made.
485
00:16:34,412 --> 00:16:36,579
I've laid off half
the janitorial staff.
486
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,412
We all need to lend a hand.
487
00:16:44,446 --> 00:16:47,313
Lady Justice wept today.
488
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:51,813
I'm sorry
about that, Mr. Shue.
489
00:16:51,813 --> 00:16:54,413
I'd like to get the flyers up
before lunch tomorrow.
490
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:56,046
You know what, guys?
I don't want to hear it.
491
00:16:56,046 --> 00:16:58,581
Doing that song is going to kill
any chance the Glee Club has.
492
00:16:58,581 --> 00:16:59,747
It's a terrible idea.
493
00:16:59,747 --> 00:17:01,047
I have news for you, Rachel.
494
00:17:01,047 --> 00:17:03,348
Sometimes you have to do
things you don't want to do.
495
00:17:03,348 --> 00:17:04,714
We're doing
the assembly,
496
00:17:04,714 --> 00:17:06,548
and you're not putting
up those flyers.
497
00:17:06,548 --> 00:17:08,548
Everybody loves disco!
498
00:17:10,314 --> 00:17:12,315
It's official.
499
00:17:12,315 --> 00:17:14,315
I'm a dead man.
500
00:17:15,315 --> 00:17:16,748
Look, I know
you're nervous,
501
00:17:16,748 --> 00:17:20,815
but you're really,
really talented.
502
00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:22,315
Stop it.
503
00:17:22,315 --> 00:17:24,316
I mean, maybe
it'll all be okay.
504
00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:27,450
Do you want
to practice
505
00:17:27,450 --> 00:17:29,483
for the assembly
tomorrow after school?
506
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,949
I can't. I got
a Celibacy Club meeting.
507
00:17:38,618 --> 00:17:41,850
Baby, I have some bad news.
508
00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:43,850
A wealthy relative died?
509
00:17:43,850 --> 00:17:45,417
I don't have any
wealthy relatives.
510
00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:46,618
Oh.
511
00:17:46,618 --> 00:17:48,184
I've just been pounding
the pavement
512
00:17:48,184 --> 00:17:49,683
all week
after Glee rehearsal.
513
00:17:49,683 --> 00:17:52,285
I... I can't find
any extra work.
514
00:17:52,285 --> 00:17:55,519
That probably means
no grand foyer.
515
00:17:55,519 --> 00:17:58,385
Why can't we ever be the
ones to catch a break?
516
00:17:58,385 --> 00:18:00,418
No, no. It's going
to be okay, baby.
517
00:18:00,418 --> 00:18:03,152
I mean, we don't need
a grand foyer to be happy...
518
00:18:03,152 --> 00:18:05,819
No. You know what? I'm so
tired of the compromising.
519
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:08,919
I want my grand foyer,
I want my dream house.
520
00:18:08,919 --> 00:18:10,785
I work hard,
I sacrifice,
521
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:13,219
I deserve it.
522
00:18:14,253 --> 00:18:16,086
You know, we give and we give.
523
00:18:16,086 --> 00:18:17,653
Do you think that the big shots
524
00:18:17,653 --> 00:18:18,820
at Sheets N' Things care
525
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:20,521
that I sell more
personal massagers
526
00:18:20,521 --> 00:18:21,953
than any other
assistant manager?
527
00:18:21,953 --> 00:18:24,420
No. Or do you think
that those kids--
528
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:26,786
that they give a damn
that we go with so little
529
00:18:26,786 --> 00:18:28,621
because you spend
all your spare time
530
00:18:28,621 --> 00:18:31,555
choreographing those
stupid dance routines?
531
00:18:31,555 --> 00:18:32,988
I mean, when
532
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:36,021
does anyone start giving back?
533
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,722
(sighs)
534
00:18:49,788 --> 00:18:51,788
(rapid scraping)
535
00:18:56,390 --> 00:18:59,689
I thought you asked Sue
to clean up after herself.
536
00:18:59,689 --> 00:19:02,123
Sue got a note
from the school nurse claiming
537
00:19:02,123 --> 00:19:03,689
that her lupus
made it impossible
538
00:19:03,689 --> 00:19:05,624
to bend over a bucket of suds.
539
00:19:05,624 --> 00:19:07,656
I've been here
till 10:00 p.m. every night
540
00:19:07,656 --> 00:19:10,891
up to my elbows in Vamoose.
541
00:19:13,724 --> 00:19:15,724
Any problem with me taking over
542
00:19:15,724 --> 00:19:17,757
one of those nighttime
janitorial slots?
543
00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:21,991
I'll work at half salary.
544
00:19:25,758 --> 00:19:28,758
The Celibacy Club
is now in session.
545
00:19:28,758 --> 00:19:30,225
Thanks to a school rule
546
00:19:30,225 --> 00:19:32,925
that says we have
to let anyone join the club,
547
00:19:32,925 --> 00:19:35,159
we're welcoming a new member
this week.
548
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:38,093
Rachel Whatshername.
549
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,792
Where are all the boys?
550
00:19:39,792 --> 00:19:41,126
Down the hall.
551
00:19:41,126 --> 00:19:42,759
First half hour, we separate.
552
00:19:42,759 --> 00:19:45,126
Then we come together
to share our faith.
553
00:19:45,126 --> 00:19:48,827
FINN:
I'm still on the fence
about the Celibacy Club.
554
00:19:48,827 --> 00:19:52,361
I mean, I only joined to get
into Quinn Fabray's pants.
555
00:19:52,361 --> 00:19:55,827
Still, it is a productive way
for us guys to get together
556
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:57,827
and talk about sexual issues.
557
00:19:57,827 --> 00:19:59,760
I think
I'm going to kill myself.
558
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,194
I'm serious.
559
00:20:01,194 --> 00:20:03,428
We're bombarded with
sexual imagery every day.
560
00:20:03,428 --> 00:20:04,928
Beer ads, those
short skirts.
561
00:20:04,928 --> 00:20:07,228
I'm supposed to be
surrounded by temptation,
562
00:20:07,228 --> 00:20:09,328
not be able to do
anything about it?
563
00:20:09,328 --> 00:20:11,095
Are you kidding?
564
00:20:11,095 --> 00:20:13,794
Those skirts are
crunchy toast.
565
00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:17,163
Santana Lopez bent over
in hers the other day,
566
00:20:17,163 --> 00:20:19,129
and I swear I could
see her ovaries.
567
00:20:21,029 --> 00:20:23,062
God bless the perv
that invented these.
568
00:20:23,062 --> 00:20:25,196
Remember the power
motto, girls.
569
00:20:25,196 --> 00:20:28,364
ALL:
It's all about the teasing
and not about the pleasing.
570
00:20:28,364 --> 00:20:30,330
Oh!
Back it up like
a dump truck,
571
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:31,830
baby.
572
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:34,197
So, how far does Quinn
let you get anyway?
573
00:20:34,197 --> 00:20:37,397
We grind, make out.
574
00:20:37,397 --> 00:20:40,597
But how do you keep
from... arriving early?
575
00:20:40,597 --> 00:20:44,764
Whenever I grind,
Cinco de Mayo.
576
00:20:44,764 --> 00:20:45,931
(laughs)
577
00:20:45,931 --> 00:20:47,931
It's not a problem for me, man.
578
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:50,898
Actually, it's a big problem.
579
00:20:50,898 --> 00:20:52,398
Somebody once told me
580
00:20:52,398 --> 00:20:53,898
that to keep
from erupting too early,
581
00:20:53,898 --> 00:20:55,765
you should think
of dead kittens and stuff.
582
00:20:55,765 --> 00:20:57,899
But the only image
that works for me happened
583
00:20:57,899 --> 00:20:59,599
the day my mom took me out
584
00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:01,032
to practice
for my driver's permit.
585
00:21:01,032 --> 00:21:02,499
Pretty good, honey.
586
00:21:02,499 --> 00:21:04,332
Who says a father figure's
necessary, huh?
587
00:21:04,332 --> 00:21:05,499
(laughs)
588
00:21:05,499 --> 00:21:06,899
Driving's fun.
Yeah.
589
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:08,300
(grunts)
(screams)
590
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,600
Oh, my God!
591
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,866
Oh, my! Oh, my!
Oh, my God, you killed him.
592
00:21:11,866 --> 00:21:13,833
What are you gonna do?
593
00:21:13,833 --> 00:21:16,766
Let's pair up
for the Immaculate Affection.
594
00:21:16,766 --> 00:21:19,766
Now, remember,
if the balloon pops,
595
00:21:19,766 --> 00:21:21,635
the noise makes the angels cry.
596
00:21:21,635 --> 00:21:25,234
(male chorus vocalizing)
597
00:21:25,234 --> 00:21:28,368
(female chorus harmonizing)
598
00:21:35,402 --> 00:21:37,569
You enchant me.
599
00:21:37,569 --> 00:21:38,735
BOY:
Yeah.
600
00:21:38,735 --> 00:21:39,968
Stop it!
Take it.
601
00:21:39,968 --> 00:21:41,902
Ah, yeah!
Oh!
602
00:21:41,902 --> 00:21:43,402
Finn!
603
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:45,435
It must have hit my zipper.
604
00:21:45,435 --> 00:21:47,869
You know what?
This is a joke.
605
00:21:48,936 --> 00:21:50,403
Did you know
606
00:21:50,403 --> 00:21:51,769
that most studies
have demonstrated
607
00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:53,603
that celibacy doesn't work
in high schools?
608
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:54,869
Our hormones
609
00:21:54,869 --> 00:21:56,869
are driving us too crazy
to abstain.
610
00:21:56,869 --> 00:21:58,270
The second
we start telling ourselves
611
00:21:58,270 --> 00:22:00,204
that there's no room
for compromise, we act out.
612
00:22:00,204 --> 00:22:01,837
The only way to deal
with teen sexuality
613
00:22:01,837 --> 00:22:03,904
is to be prepared.
614
00:22:03,904 --> 00:22:05,703
That's what contraception
is for.
615
00:22:05,703 --> 00:22:07,737
Don't you dare mention
the "C" word.
616
00:22:07,737 --> 00:22:10,471
You want to know
a dirty little secret
617
00:22:10,471 --> 00:22:12,104
that none of them want you
to know?
618
00:22:13,438 --> 00:22:15,572
Girls want sex
just as much as guys do.
619
00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:22,272
Is-is that accurate?
620
00:22:22,272 --> 00:22:24,871
(scraping)
621
00:22:29,939 --> 00:22:32,306
Will?
622
00:22:32,306 --> 00:22:33,906
Aah... aah.
623
00:22:33,906 --> 00:22:36,939
Emma... what are you doing here
so late?
624
00:22:37,972 --> 00:22:40,440
I do SAT prep on Tuesday nights.
625
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,607
Are you, um, are you a janitor?
626
00:22:42,607 --> 00:22:44,641
A ja-- no.
627
00:22:44,641 --> 00:22:46,073
Really?
628
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:47,440
'Cause you're dressed
like a janitor
629
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,474
and your shirt says "Will."
630
00:22:49,474 --> 00:22:52,307
Um... Terri and I are trying
to buy a house,
631
00:22:52,307 --> 00:22:54,974
and we're, you know, struggling
to make ends meet, and...
632
00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:57,141
(sighs)
633
00:22:57,141 --> 00:23:01,774
I'm really embarrassed.
634
00:23:01,774 --> 00:23:03,908
Would you mind keeping this
between us?
635
00:23:03,908 --> 00:23:06,042
Yeah.
636
00:23:06,042 --> 00:23:09,176
Oh, yeah, your secret's
completely safe with me.
637
00:23:09,176 --> 00:23:10,942
Thank you.
638
00:23:10,942 --> 00:23:12,808
Do you, um...
639
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,042
Do you want a hand?
640
00:23:14,042 --> 00:23:15,376
Oh, no.
641
00:23:15,376 --> 00:23:16,808
I-I'm good, really.
642
00:23:16,808 --> 00:23:19,343
Really, because, um,
I can see from here
643
00:23:19,343 --> 00:23:21,610
that you've used window
cleaner to mop the floor.
644
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:23,644
And, uh, that keyboard is
crawling in E coli,
645
00:23:23,644 --> 00:23:25,277
because I know for a fact
Ms. Hoffmeyer
646
00:23:25,277 --> 00:23:26,644
doesn't wash her hands
after doing number twos.
647
00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:34,144
I really admire you working
so hard for something you want.
648
00:23:35,645 --> 00:23:36,777
Let's make a deal.
649
00:23:36,777 --> 00:23:38,311
You're helping me
with my problem,
650
00:23:38,311 --> 00:23:40,378
how about I take a stab
at one of yours?
651
00:23:40,378 --> 00:23:41,611
Oh, no, I don't,
652
00:23:41,611 --> 00:23:43,877
I don't have a problem.
653
00:23:43,877 --> 00:23:46,546
You've been scrubbing that
pencil sharpener for an hour.
654
00:23:46,546 --> 00:23:48,546
Well, I mean, I have,
655
00:23:48,546 --> 00:23:49,978
I have a little
trouble with messes,
656
00:23:49,978 --> 00:23:52,646
but it's not like it's a...
problem.
657
00:23:58,246 --> 00:23:59,979
Okay.
658
00:23:59,979 --> 00:24:01,746
When I was a little girl,
659
00:24:01,746 --> 00:24:04,246
it was my dream
to work on a dairy farm.
660
00:24:04,246 --> 00:24:05,913
Really?
661
00:24:05,913 --> 00:24:07,580
Um, when I was eight,
662
00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:09,979
we finally visited one,
and after the tour
663
00:24:09,979 --> 00:24:13,147
and the yogurt tasting,
my, my brother
664
00:24:13,147 --> 00:24:14,780
pushed me into
the runoff lagoon.
665
00:24:14,780 --> 00:24:16,014
What?
666
00:24:16,014 --> 00:24:18,614
And, um, ever since then
I've just...
667
00:24:18,614 --> 00:24:20,581
I've had a little trouble
668
00:24:20,581 --> 00:24:22,514
forgetting the, uh, the smell.
669
00:24:24,147 --> 00:24:26,415
Have you thought about,
I don't know,
670
00:24:26,415 --> 00:24:27,814
maybe seeing someone
about that?
671
00:24:27,814 --> 00:24:29,981
Oh, no, it's completely
manageable.
672
00:24:29,981 --> 00:24:32,015
You know, I just try to take
lots of showers
673
00:24:32,015 --> 00:24:33,649
and I, um, you know,
I don't eat dairy.
674
00:24:33,649 --> 00:24:35,649
So...
675
00:24:36,714 --> 00:24:39,049
I want to try...
676
00:24:41,449 --> 00:24:43,383
...a little experiment.
677
00:24:43,383 --> 00:24:46,249
Oh, no. No, I'm not really,
um, comfortable
678
00:24:46,249 --> 00:24:48,782
with, with... that.
679
00:24:59,083 --> 00:25:00,417
There.
680
00:25:02,317 --> 00:25:04,652
Ten seconds.
681
00:25:04,652 --> 00:25:06,784
New record.
682
00:25:10,451 --> 00:25:13,451
It's late. I should, um...
683
00:25:13,451 --> 00:25:16,118
I should be, um... going.
684
00:25:24,852 --> 00:25:26,885
(gavel banging)
I officially
685
00:25:26,885 --> 00:25:28,852
call this meeting
of Glee Club in session.
686
00:25:28,852 --> 00:25:31,053
But Mr. Schuester isn't here.
Mr. Schuester
isn't coming.
687
00:25:31,053 --> 00:25:32,654
I paid a freshman
to ask him for help
688
00:25:32,654 --> 00:25:34,453
with irregular verbs.
(Mercedes groans)
689
00:25:34,453 --> 00:25:37,153
I'm so sick of hearing you
squawk, Eva Peron.
690
00:25:37,153 --> 00:25:38,654
Let her talk.
691
00:25:40,187 --> 00:25:43,388
I have another idea
for the assembly.
692
00:25:43,388 --> 00:25:44,854
Can I, once again,
stress my most strenuous
693
00:25:44,854 --> 00:25:46,621
objections to this
attempted suicide?
694
00:25:46,621 --> 00:25:47,921
They're not going to kill us.
695
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:49,521
Because we're going to give them
what they want.
696
00:25:49,521 --> 00:25:51,454
Blood?
Better.
697
00:25:51,454 --> 00:25:54,188
Sex.
698
00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:56,721
(feedback squeaks)
699
00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:58,022
Silence, children.
700
00:25:58,022 --> 00:25:59,355
Silence.
701
00:25:59,355 --> 00:26:01,855
First, an announcement.
702
00:26:01,855 --> 00:26:04,556
The toilets are broken again.
703
00:26:04,556 --> 00:26:08,122
We are fixing the problem,
but let me warn you.
704
00:26:08,122 --> 00:26:10,523
There will be zero tolerance
705
00:26:10,523 --> 00:26:13,190
for anyone soiling
school grounds.
706
00:26:13,190 --> 00:26:13,256
We're not going to have
a repeat of last time.
707
00:26:17,156 --> 00:26:19,023
We have a treat
for you guys today.
708
00:26:19,023 --> 00:26:20,490
Mr. Schuester.
709
00:26:20,490 --> 00:26:22,757
Yay, Glee!
710
00:26:22,757 --> 00:26:24,558
Glee kids, hooray!
711
00:26:24,558 --> 00:26:28,191
Hi. Uh, when I went
to school here,
712
00:26:28,191 --> 00:26:30,124
Glee Club ruled this place.
713
00:26:30,124 --> 00:26:31,823
And we're on our way back.
714
00:26:31,823 --> 00:26:33,723
But we need some recruits
to join the party.
715
00:26:33,723 --> 00:26:36,659
Now, I could tell you all about
716
00:26:36,659 --> 00:26:39,125
how great Glee is, but, uh,
717
00:26:39,125 --> 00:26:41,192
I think I'm going to let
some friends of mine
718
00:26:41,192 --> 00:26:42,559
show you instead.
719
00:26:47,592 --> 00:26:49,359
* Get up on this *
720
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,259
("Push It" plays)
721
00:26:52,259 --> 00:26:54,193
* Get up on this *
* Ooh, baby, baby *
722
00:26:54,193 --> 00:26:56,560
* Ba-baby, baby *
723
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,426
* Ooh, baby, baby *
724
00:26:58,426 --> 00:27:01,526
* Ba-baby, baby *
* Get up on this *
725
00:27:01,526 --> 00:27:03,093
* Push it *
* Hey! *
726
00:27:03,093 --> 00:27:04,394
* Get up on this *
727
00:27:04,394 --> 00:27:05,927
* Push it *
728
00:27:05,927 --> 00:27:08,027
* Sa, sa, sa, sa, sa
Salt and Pepa's here *
729
00:27:08,027 --> 00:27:10,893
* Get up on this *
* Now, wait a minute, y'all. *
730
00:27:10,893 --> 00:27:13,127
* Now, this dance ain't
for e'rybody *
731
00:27:13,127 --> 00:27:15,361
* Only the sexy people *
732
00:27:16,727 --> 00:27:18,694
* So all you fly mothers *
733
00:27:18,694 --> 00:27:20,428
* Get on out there and dance *
734
00:27:20,428 --> 00:27:22,128
* Dance, I said *
735
00:27:22,128 --> 00:27:23,261
* Holla! *
* Sa-Salt and Pepa's here *
736
00:27:23,261 --> 00:27:25,562
* And we're in effect,
want you *
737
00:27:25,562 --> 00:27:27,028
* To push it, babe *
738
00:27:27,028 --> 00:27:29,296
* Coolin' by day,
then at night *
739
00:27:29,296 --> 00:27:31,095
* Workin' up a sweat,
come on, girls *
740
00:27:31,095 --> 00:27:33,462
* Let's go show the guys
that we know *
741
00:27:33,462 --> 00:27:37,262
* How to become number one
in a hot party show *
742
00:27:37,262 --> 00:27:38,262
* Now push it *
743
00:27:38,262 --> 00:27:39,895
* Ah... push it *
744
00:27:39,895 --> 00:27:41,863
* Push it good *
745
00:27:41,863 --> 00:27:43,729
* Ah... push it *
746
00:27:43,729 --> 00:27:45,564
* Push it real good *
747
00:27:45,564 --> 00:27:47,664
* Ah... push it *
748
00:27:47,664 --> 00:27:49,397
* Push it good *
749
00:27:49,397 --> 00:27:51,564
* Ah... push it *
750
00:27:51,564 --> 00:27:53,896
* Puh-push it real good *
751
00:27:53,896 --> 00:27:55,864
* Ah... push it *
752
00:27:55,864 --> 00:27:57,531
* Get up on this *
753
00:27:57,531 --> 00:27:58,997
* Hey! *
754
00:27:58,997 --> 00:28:00,730
* Get up on this *
755
00:28:00,730 --> 00:28:02,198
* Yo, baby pop *
756
00:28:02,198 --> 00:28:04,830
* Yeah, you,
come here, give me a kiss *
757
00:28:04,830 --> 00:28:07,698
* Better make it fast
or else I'm gonna get pissed *
758
00:28:07,698 --> 00:28:09,865
* Can you hear the music
pumpin' hard *
759
00:28:09,865 --> 00:28:11,332
* Like I wish you would? *
760
00:28:11,332 --> 00:28:12,731
* Now push it *
* Ah... *
761
00:28:12,731 --> 00:28:13,831
* Push it *
762
00:28:14,865 --> 00:28:16,132
* Push it good *
763
00:28:16,132 --> 00:28:17,199
* Ah... push it *
764
00:28:17,199 --> 00:28:19,232
* Push it real good *
765
00:28:19,232 --> 00:28:21,899
* Ah... push it *
766
00:28:21,899 --> 00:28:23,633
* Push it good *
767
00:28:23,633 --> 00:28:25,200
* Ah... push it *
768
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,033
* Puh-push it real good *
* Ah... *
769
00:28:28,033 --> 00:28:30,200
* Push it *
770
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,500
* Get up on this *
* Ah... push it *
771
00:28:33,533 --> 00:28:34,668
* Get up on this *
772
00:28:34,668 --> 00:28:35,934
* Ow! *
* Holla! *
773
00:28:37,934 --> 00:28:39,967
* Get up on this *
* Ah... push it *
774
00:28:39,967 --> 00:28:42,367
* Hey! *
* Ah... *
775
00:28:42,367 --> 00:28:44,833
* Push it. *
776
00:28:46,134 --> 00:28:47,669
Yes!
777
00:28:47,669 --> 00:28:49,701
(roaring applause)
778
00:29:00,936 --> 00:29:03,102
Let me be the one
to break the silence.
779
00:29:04,536 --> 00:29:07,102
That was the most offensive
thing I've seen
780
00:29:07,102 --> 00:29:09,102
in 20 years of teaching.
781
00:29:09,102 --> 00:29:11,835
And that includes an elementary
school production of Hair.
782
00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:13,637
We received angry e-mails
783
00:29:13,637 --> 00:29:15,137
from a number
of concerned parents,
784
00:29:15,137 --> 00:29:18,037
many of whom thought
that their children
were going to hear
785
00:29:18,037 --> 00:29:21,437
a Special Olympian speak
about overcoming adversity.
786
00:29:21,437 --> 00:29:24,204
I... I really don't
know what to say.
787
00:29:24,204 --> 00:29:26,238
Well, let me help
you out, then.
788
00:29:26,238 --> 00:29:27,338
My first thought
789
00:29:27,338 --> 00:29:28,737
was that your students
should be
790
00:29:28,737 --> 00:29:30,238
put into foster care.
791
00:29:30,238 --> 00:29:31,971
(sighs)
792
00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:34,405
But you're the one
who should be punished.
793
00:29:34,405 --> 00:29:37,305
I demand your resignation
from this school,
794
00:29:37,305 --> 00:29:40,239
as well as the disbanding
of Glee Club.
795
00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:41,406
Now, hold on, Sue.
796
00:29:41,406 --> 00:29:42,738
The issue is content.
797
00:29:42,738 --> 00:29:44,072
Those kids are talented.
798
00:29:44,072 --> 00:29:47,172
And I have not
seen the student
body this excited
799
00:29:47,172 --> 00:29:49,005
since Tiffany performed
at the North Hills Mall.
800
00:29:51,206 --> 00:29:54,073
I took the liberty
of calling my pastor
801
00:29:54,073 --> 00:29:56,240
to provide a list
of family-friendly songs
802
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,540
that reflect
our community's values.
803
00:29:58,540 --> 00:30:01,106
Your kids can only perform these
preapproved musical selections.
804
00:30:01,106 --> 00:30:03,839
But all these songs
have either
805
00:30:03,839 --> 00:30:05,774
"Jesus" or "balloons"
in the title.
806
00:30:05,774 --> 00:30:07,874
But they're also songs
about the circus.
807
00:30:07,874 --> 00:30:10,641
This egg is
sunny-side up, Will.
808
00:30:10,641 --> 00:30:12,274
You need new outfits.
809
00:30:12,274 --> 00:30:15,208
I got several flashes of panty
from your group today,
810
00:30:15,208 --> 00:30:17,107
and I'm not talking
about the girls.
811
00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:20,342
So, Sue, I'm cutting
your dry-cleaning budget
812
00:30:20,342 --> 00:30:22,375
to pay for new costumes
for the Glee Club.
813
00:30:22,375 --> 00:30:24,908
This will not stand.
814
00:30:24,908 --> 00:30:26,475
Oh, Sue.
815
00:30:26,475 --> 00:30:28,908
The dry-cleaners here
are just as good as the ones
816
00:30:28,908 --> 00:30:30,442
in Europe.
817
00:30:37,709 --> 00:30:39,310
Mr. Schuester, I'm so sorry.
818
00:30:39,310 --> 00:30:41,876
Do you understand what you
did today? You lied to me.
819
00:30:41,876 --> 00:30:44,276
And you ruined our chances.
No parent in their right mind
820
00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:46,144
is going to let their
kid join Glee now.
821
00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:47,377
Oh, and, uh, here's a list
822
00:30:47,377 --> 00:30:48,743
of the songs that
we're allowed to sing.
823
00:30:48,743 --> 00:30:50,910
What's a "luftballoon"?
824
00:30:50,910 --> 00:30:53,511
Look, I know how much
you care about Glee Club.
825
00:30:53,511 --> 00:30:56,177
And I understand why
you did what you did.
826
00:30:56,177 --> 00:30:59,245
But I don't like
the way you did it.
827
00:31:16,779 --> 00:31:18,113
They're for Tulip-A-Looza.
828
00:31:19,113 --> 00:31:20,146
It's a tulip festival down
829
00:31:20,146 --> 00:31:21,279
at the Columbus
Convention Center.
830
00:31:21,279 --> 00:31:22,480
It's supposed
to smell pretty nice.
831
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,912
That's really
sweet of you, Ken,
832
00:31:23,912 --> 00:31:26,481
but I have a... asthma.
833
00:31:26,481 --> 00:31:29,147
What are you doing?
834
00:31:29,147 --> 00:31:30,447
Chasing a married guy.
835
00:31:31,646 --> 00:31:32,980
I saw you playing house
836
00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:34,247
with him after hours, Emma.
837
00:31:34,247 --> 00:31:36,314
Look.
838
00:31:36,314 --> 00:31:38,081
I don't know a lot
about relationships.
839
00:31:38,081 --> 00:31:40,448
Most of mine are short and flame
out once the sex goes,
840
00:31:40,448 --> 00:31:42,781
but I do know you never want
to be the rebounder.
841
00:31:44,582 --> 00:31:46,614
I'm a good man, Emma.
842
00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:48,981
I'll treat you right.
I'll put up with all your crazy.
843
00:31:48,981 --> 00:31:51,182
They can't fire me
'cause I'm a minority,
844
00:31:51,182 --> 00:31:52,982
so I'll always be able
to provide for you.
845
00:31:52,982 --> 00:31:54,982
You could do a lot worse,
846
00:31:54,982 --> 00:31:57,615
and in this town, you're not
going to do much better.
847
00:31:58,982 --> 00:32:00,982
Okay, I'm done talking now.
848
00:32:06,183 --> 00:32:07,383
Try it.
849
00:32:07,383 --> 00:32:08,383
* La. *
850
00:32:08,383 --> 00:32:09,683
Good.
That was good.
851
00:32:09,683 --> 00:32:11,183
Okay, one more up.
(plays higher note)
852
00:32:11,183 --> 00:32:12,716
* La. *
853
00:32:12,716 --> 00:32:14,150
That was really good.
Is that okay?
854
00:32:14,150 --> 00:32:16,884
Yeah, it's like the Holy Grail
for a baritenor,
855
00:32:16,884 --> 00:32:18,251
so it's a good note.
856
00:32:18,251 --> 00:32:19,485
All right, I'll start
857
00:32:19,485 --> 00:32:21,351
at the bottom,
and then we'll go up higher.
858
00:32:21,351 --> 00:32:22,784
Can we take a break?
859
00:32:22,784 --> 00:32:23,585
Singing kind of makes me
a little hungry.
860
00:32:23,585 --> 00:32:24,750
Yeah, sure.
861
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,684
Well, lucky I prepared for that.
862
00:32:26,684 --> 00:32:29,051
Wow, I was wondering
what that was all about.
863
00:32:29,051 --> 00:32:31,119
Want to sit?
864
00:32:31,119 --> 00:32:32,885
Yeah, yeah.
865
00:32:32,885 --> 00:32:34,385
Absolutely.
866
00:32:34,385 --> 00:32:37,552
I was wondering why you asked me
to help you with your singing.
867
00:32:38,885 --> 00:32:40,519
You kicked butt
at the assembly.
868
00:32:40,519 --> 00:32:41,552
Well, this is...
869
00:32:41,552 --> 00:32:43,686
my only chance to be,
870
00:32:43,686 --> 00:32:45,253
you know, good like you.
871
00:32:46,786 --> 00:32:48,453
You think I'm good?
872
00:32:48,453 --> 00:32:50,986
Well, when I first joined, I
thought you were kind of insane.
873
00:32:50,986 --> 00:32:53,520
I mean, you talk a lot more than
you should, and to be honest
874
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:54,953
with you, I looked
under the bed
875
00:32:54,953 --> 00:32:56,121
and made sure
that you weren't
876
00:32:56,121 --> 00:32:57,588
hanging out under there.
877
00:32:58,820 --> 00:33:00,954
But then, I heard you sing.
878
00:33:00,954 --> 00:33:02,454
I don't know
how to say this,
879
00:33:02,454 --> 00:33:04,354
but you touched
something in me.
880
00:33:05,488 --> 00:33:08,087
Right here.
881
00:33:08,087 --> 00:33:10,388
Your heart's on the other
882
00:33:10,388 --> 00:33:12,422
side of your chest.
883
00:33:12,422 --> 00:33:14,988
Oh.
884
00:33:14,988 --> 00:33:17,355
It's beating really hard.
885
00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:21,788
You're cool, Rachel.
886
00:33:22,822 --> 00:33:23,889
Do you want a drink?
887
00:33:23,889 --> 00:33:25,889
Yeah.
888
00:33:26,989 --> 00:33:30,456
Virgin cosmos.
Cool.
889
00:33:30,456 --> 00:33:32,089
That stuff you said
at the Celibacy Club,
890
00:33:32,089 --> 00:33:33,089
that was really cool.
891
00:33:33,089 --> 00:33:35,022
Thanks.
892
00:33:35,022 --> 00:33:36,990
Well...
893
00:33:36,990 --> 00:33:38,656
Cheers.
894
00:33:38,656 --> 00:33:39,957
Cheers.
895
00:33:39,957 --> 00:33:42,957
The cups are like
the airplane cups.
896
00:33:46,790 --> 00:33:48,757
Oh, you got a little cosmo
right...
897
00:33:48,757 --> 00:33:50,757
here.
898
00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:57,525
You know, you can kiss me
if you want to.
899
00:33:59,291 --> 00:34:01,291
I want to.
900
00:34:24,726 --> 00:34:26,293
What?
901
00:34:26,293 --> 00:34:28,994
(screaming):
Oh, my God!
902
00:34:28,994 --> 00:34:30,528
What are you gonna do?!
903
00:34:30,528 --> 00:34:31,495
Did I do something wrong?
904
00:34:31,495 --> 00:34:33,760
No, no. Um...
I just got to go.
905
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,927
Look, please don't tell
anybody about this, okay?
906
00:34:46,828 --> 00:34:50,062
I don't want my baby
to grow an extra arm
907
00:34:50,062 --> 00:34:52,462
just because I live in squalor
and I'm so stressed.
908
00:34:52,462 --> 00:34:55,163
So, I want you to run
any and all tests you have.
909
00:34:55,163 --> 00:34:57,063
Trust me, you're clear.
910
00:34:57,063 --> 00:34:58,230
Are you sure?
911
00:34:58,230 --> 00:34:59,330
Positive.
912
00:34:59,330 --> 00:35:01,230
Is it a boy or a girl?
913
00:35:01,230 --> 00:35:04,263
Um...
914
00:35:04,263 --> 00:35:06,662
I don't quite know
how to put this.
915
00:35:06,662 --> 00:35:08,531
There's no baby.
916
00:35:08,531 --> 00:35:10,164
Did it fall out?
917
00:35:10,164 --> 00:35:11,830
(laughs)
918
00:35:11,830 --> 00:35:13,498
Uh, no. Um...
919
00:35:13,498 --> 00:35:14,697
You're not pregnant.
920
00:35:14,697 --> 00:35:16,131
But I've gained ten pounds.
921
00:35:16,131 --> 00:35:17,564
It's probably from
eating. I can see
922
00:35:17,564 --> 00:35:20,432
a chicken wing in there that
you must have swallowed whole.
923
00:35:20,432 --> 00:35:22,731
You're having what's called
a hysterical pregnancy.
924
00:35:22,731 --> 00:35:27,332
You want a baby so badly that
your body mimics the symptoms.
925
00:35:29,831 --> 00:35:33,500
If you're meant to get
pregnant, it'll happen.
926
00:35:40,501 --> 00:35:43,501
I have to say, I'm a little surprised you guys
are trying in on it.
927
00:35:43,699 --> 00:35:46,133
I'm sure you've read about this
in the school paper.
928
00:35:46,133 --> 00:35:48,534
Finn and I have been
an item for a while now,
929
00:35:48,534 --> 00:35:51,766
so what kind of girlfriend would
I be if I didn't support him?
930
00:35:51,766 --> 00:35:54,200
Well, let's see what you've got.
931
00:35:53,992 --> 00:35:56,164
("Say a Little Prayer for You"
plays)
932
00:36:01,424 --> 00:36:04,789
* Say a little prayer for you *
933
00:36:04,789 --> 00:36:07,602
* The moment I wake up *
934
00:36:07,602 --> 00:36:09,774
* Before I put on my makeup *
935
00:36:09,774 --> 00:36:11,367
* Makeup *
936
00:36:11,367 --> 00:36:14,147
* I say a little *
* Prayer for you *
937
00:36:14,147 --> 00:36:17,390
* While combing my hair now *
938
00:36:17,390 --> 00:36:20,112
* And wonderin' what dress
to wear now *
939
00:36:20,112 --> 00:36:22,071
* Wear now *
* I say a little *
940
00:36:22,071 --> 00:36:23,815
* Prayer for you *
941
00:36:23,815 --> 00:36:26,780
* Forever, forever
you'll stay in my heart *
942
00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:27,821
* And I will love you *
943
00:36:27,821 --> 00:36:29,624
* Forever and ever *
944
00:36:29,624 --> 00:36:30,787
* We never will part *
945
00:36:30,787 --> 00:36:32,347
* Oh, how I love you *
946
00:36:32,347 --> 00:36:35,283
* Together, together,
that's how it must be *
947
00:36:35,283 --> 00:36:36,599
* To live without you *
948
00:36:36,599 --> 00:36:40,757
* Would only mean
heartbreak for me *
949
00:36:41,945 --> 00:36:43,576
SUE:
Let me get this straight.
950
00:36:43,576 --> 00:36:45,607
You're joining Glee Club?
951
00:36:45,607 --> 00:36:47,538
I'm sorry, Coach Sylvester,
952
00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:50,735
but something is going on
between Finn and that thing.
953
00:36:50,735 --> 00:36:52,200
You saw how it was
954
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:53,731
undressing him
with its eyes.
955
00:36:53,731 --> 00:36:55,996
Please don't kick us
off the Cheerios.
956
00:36:55,996 --> 00:36:57,860
Cease fire on the waterworks.
957
00:36:57,860 --> 00:36:59,692
I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to see it.
958
00:36:59,692 --> 00:37:02,587
You know, Q, when I
first laid eyes on you,
959
00:37:02,587 --> 00:37:05,019
I was reminded of a
young Sue Sylvester,
960
00:37:05,019 --> 00:37:07,250
though you don't have
my bone structure.
961
00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:10,247
But it wasn't until
this very moment,
962
00:37:10,247 --> 00:37:13,376
I saw how alike we really are.
963
00:37:15,374 --> 00:37:17,804
You three are going
to be my spies.
964
00:37:17,804 --> 00:37:20,567
I need eyes on the inside.
965
00:37:20,567 --> 00:37:23,730
We're going to bring
this club down from within.
966
00:37:23,730 --> 00:37:25,196
(chuckles)
967
00:37:25,196 --> 00:37:28,393
And I'm going
to get my boyfriend back.
968
00:37:28,393 --> 00:37:31,489
I don't care so much about that.
969
00:37:31,489 --> 00:37:34,120
(school bell rings)
970
00:37:39,513 --> 00:37:41,443
Hey, Emma.
Guess what?
971
00:37:41,443 --> 00:37:43,475
I found these new
disinfecting bleach wipes.
972
00:37:43,475 --> 00:37:45,374
What do you say?
973
00:37:45,374 --> 00:37:47,770
Boys bathroom
in the science wing?
974
00:37:47,770 --> 00:37:49,501
9:00?
975
00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:51,799
Will, what are we doing?
976
00:37:51,799 --> 00:37:54,629
I mean, you're
having a baby.
977
00:37:58,259 --> 00:38:01,521
Um, and anyway, uh...
978
00:38:01,521 --> 00:38:02,853
I have a date.
979
00:38:02,853 --> 00:38:05,051
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
980
00:38:05,051 --> 00:38:06,883
Yeah, but, with who?
981
00:38:06,883 --> 00:38:09,645
I'm going to go
to Tulip-A-Looza.
982
00:38:09,645 --> 00:38:11,245
With Ken.
983
00:38:31,688 --> 00:38:34,319
There's my man.
984
00:38:34,319 --> 00:38:35,716
Bringing home the bacon.
985
00:38:35,716 --> 00:38:38,646
You... you made dinner.
986
00:38:38,646 --> 00:38:40,011
I thought you'd be asleep.
987
00:38:40,011 --> 00:38:42,541
Well, I wanted to talk
to you about something,
988
00:38:42,541 --> 00:38:45,139
so I made you chicken pot pie.
989
00:38:45,139 --> 00:38:46,205
From scratch.
990
00:38:46,205 --> 00:38:47,669
(chuckles)
991
00:38:47,669 --> 00:38:50,000
Terri, that's so
thoughtful. I...
992
00:38:51,431 --> 00:38:53,329
(sighs) Yeah, you know,
993
00:38:53,329 --> 00:38:54,861
I've been working so
hard lately, some--
994
00:38:54,861 --> 00:38:57,193
Sometimes I forget
what I'm doing it for.
995
00:38:57,193 --> 00:38:59,889
Family's
what's important to me.
996
00:38:59,889 --> 00:39:03,784
You and the little guy
or gal on the way.
997
00:39:03,784 --> 00:39:05,050
I hope you know that.
998
00:39:05,050 --> 00:39:06,681
Yeah.
999
00:39:06,681 --> 00:39:09,944
I'm sorry. What was it
you wanted to talk about?
1000
00:39:09,944 --> 00:39:13,008
I went to the
baby doctor today.
1001
00:39:13,008 --> 00:39:14,672
And?
1002
00:39:14,672 --> 00:39:16,537
And...
1003
00:39:18,269 --> 00:39:20,598
It's a boy.
1004
00:39:22,429 --> 00:39:24,694
Oh, my God.
Terri, that's amazing.
Yeah.
1005
00:39:24,694 --> 00:39:26,093
Oh, my God.
1006
00:39:26,093 --> 00:39:27,092
Oh!
1007
00:39:27,092 --> 00:39:28,356
(laughing)
1008
00:39:28,356 --> 00:39:30,088
I want you to give up
being a janitor.
1009
00:39:30,088 --> 00:39:31,286
What?
1010
00:39:31,286 --> 00:39:33,152
Yeah. We don't
need a new house.
1011
00:39:33,152 --> 00:39:35,250
We'll turn my craft
room into a nursery.
1012
00:39:35,250 --> 00:39:36,881
It's a compromise
that I want to make.
1013
00:39:36,881 --> 00:39:38,045
Really?
1014
00:39:38,045 --> 00:39:40,144
Yeah.
1015
00:39:40,144 --> 00:39:42,874
You know the only project
that I want to work on now...
1016
00:39:42,874 --> 00:39:45,072
is us.
1017
00:39:47,002 --> 00:39:48,300
I love you so much.
1018
00:39:56,824 --> 00:40:00,221
You're giving Quinn Fabray
the solo?
1019
00:40:00,221 --> 00:40:01,586
That's my solo.
1020
00:40:01,586 --> 00:40:03,051
You made this happen, Rachel.
1021
00:40:03,051 --> 00:40:05,015
You were the one who wanted
to sell sex at the assembly.
1022
00:40:05,015 --> 00:40:07,645
Quinn's audition song was on
Figgins's approved list,
1023
00:40:07,645 --> 00:40:09,610
and frankly, she did a heck
of a job singing it.
1024
00:40:09,610 --> 00:40:10,842
You're punishing me.
1025
00:40:10,842 --> 00:40:14,337
Contrary to your beliefs,
it's not all about you.
1026
00:40:14,337 --> 00:40:18,966
Or, I've realized, about me.
1027
00:40:18,966 --> 00:40:20,464
Look, I screwed up, too.
1028
00:40:20,464 --> 00:40:24,560
I'm as responsible for
what you did at that
assembly as you are.
1029
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,657
I should never have
pushed disco so hard.
1030
00:40:26,657 --> 00:40:31,618
When we did it back in '93, the
disco revival was in its heyday.
1031
00:40:31,618 --> 00:40:34,248
It was cool. We had fun.
1032
00:40:34,248 --> 00:40:38,243
And that... that is what Glee
is supposed to be about.
1033
00:40:38,243 --> 00:40:40,176
If we're going to succeed,
1034
00:40:40,176 --> 00:40:42,639
we both need
to change our mindsets.
1035
00:40:42,639 --> 00:40:44,503
You're not always going
to be the star.
1036
00:40:44,503 --> 00:40:46,968
But I promise to do my best
1037
00:40:46,968 --> 00:40:48,799
to make sure
you're always having fun.
1038
00:40:48,799 --> 00:40:51,064
This is a good
thing, Rachel.
1039
00:40:51,064 --> 00:40:54,292
We're on our way..
1040
00:40:54,292 --> 00:40:57,222
Can I use the auditorium
later to practe?
1041
00:40:57,222 --> 00:40:59,386
Our neighbors are
filing a lawsuit.
1042
00:40:59,386 --> 00:41:01,284
Sure.
1043
00:41:02,283 --> 00:41:04,281
("Take a Bow" plays)
1044
00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:19,897
* You look so dumb right now *
1045
00:41:19,897 --> 00:41:24,191
* Standing outside my house *
1046
00:41:25,457 --> 00:41:28,587
* Trying to apologize *
1047
00:41:28,587 --> 00:41:31,484
* You're so ugly when you cry *
1048
00:41:31,484 --> 00:41:35,779
* Please just cut it out *
1049
00:41:35,779 --> 00:41:41,939
* And don't tell me you're sorry
'cause you're not *
1050
00:41:41,939 --> 00:41:48,632
* Baby, when I know you're only
sorry you got caught *
1051
00:41:48,632 --> 00:41:51,128
* But you put on quite a show *
1052
00:41:51,128 --> 00:41:54,825
* Ooh *
* Really had me going *
1053
00:41:54,825 --> 00:41:54,891
* Now it's time to go *
1054
00:41:57,254 --> 00:42:00,584
* Oh *
* Curtain's finally closing *
1055
00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:02,749
* That was quite a show *
1056
00:42:02,749 --> 00:42:07,277
* Ooh, oh *
* Very entertaining *
1057
00:42:07,277 --> 00:42:10,540
* But it's over now *
1058
00:42:10,540 --> 00:42:12,504
* But it's over now *
1059
00:42:12,504 --> 00:42:16,733
* Go on and take a bow *
1060
00:42:16,733 --> 00:42:17,999
* Oh *
1061
00:42:17,999 --> 00:42:22,393
* And the award *
1062
00:42:22,393 --> 00:42:26,121
* For the best liar *
1063
00:42:26,121 --> 00:42:28,153
* Goes to you *
* Goes to you *
1064
00:42:28,153 --> 00:42:31,749
* For making me believe *
1065
00:42:31,749 --> 00:42:34,979
* That you could be *
1066
00:42:34,979 --> 00:42:37,542
* Faithful to me *
* Faithful *
1067
00:42:37,542 --> 00:42:40,639
* Let's hear your speech *
1068
00:42:40,639 --> 00:42:44,634
* Oh! *
* Well, you put on
quite a show *
1069
00:42:44,634 --> 00:42:47,132
* Really had me going *
1070
00:42:47,132 --> 00:42:50,428
* Now it's time to go *
1071
00:42:50,428 --> 00:42:53,125
* Curtain's finally closing *
1072
00:42:53,125 --> 00:42:55,622
* That was quite a show *
1073
00:42:55,622 --> 00:42:59,151
* Very entertaining *
1074
00:42:59,151 --> 00:43:02,848
* But it's over now *
1075
00:43:02,848 --> 00:43:05,111
* But it's over now *
1076
00:43:05,111 --> 00:43:10,172
* Go on and take a bow *
1077
00:43:11,638 --> 00:43:15,866
* But it's over now. *
1078
00:43:18,663 --> 00:43:34,144
Sync by gioni666
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00